Ultimate Football (Soccer) Thread 2014-15

[Saugeais]

Don't know if anybody's mentioned this already, but Blackpool have had to cancel their pre-season tour in Spain to "concentrate on recruitment". According to the club website, they currently have 8 players under contract, none of which are goalkeepers, after 27 players left the club this summer.

Even as a Bolton fan who has a fairly strong dislike for Blackpool, I feel genuinely sorry for the fans right now. By the sounds of it, the Oystons have screwed the club right over, and no football club should be put in a situation like this. I hope this gets sorted out, for the sake of the Blackpool fans.

Need a keeper, you say?

I'll take the case!!

[Bundabunda]

NSGFC should make a case to be Blackpool's reserves.

I don't think they'd need me though. It looks like they're sorted for midfield.

[Emilio Aguinaldo]

NSGFC should make a case to be Blackpool's reserves.

I don't think they'd need me though. It looks like they're sorted for midfield.

I can be decent goalkeeper...then again I'm in the Philippines where scores are 9-0 and I literally just sit there near the goal post waiting for the ball to go to my third.

[Bundabunda]

I remember my first varsity year. Playing my position was a breeze because of how great the back four was. The goalie had exactly the boredom you're talking about, and he leaned on the post a ton.

[Emilio Aguinaldo]

Well there was this one time when I was in U17 here where I had to withstand 90 minutes of me being the sole defender and my team going for a ten man attack. It was not fun at all.

[Adab]

Well there was this one time when I was in U17 here where I had to withstand 90 minutes of me being the sole defender and my team going for a ten man attack. It was not fun at all.

Wait, you mean no one else is the defender? Reminds me of all-attacking football tactics in the very early days; the first England vs. Scotland game in 1872 saw England play 1-1-8 and Scotland 2-2-6, for example.

[Emilio Aguinaldo]

Well there was this one time when I was in U17 here where I had to withstand 90 minutes of me being the sole defender and my team going for a ten man attack. It was not fun at all.

Wait, you mean no one else is the defender? Reminds me of all-attacking football tactics in the very early days; the first England vs. Scotland game in 1872 saw England play 1-1-8 and Scotland 2-2-6, for example.

It works if
A. Your keeper is a God
B. Your enemy is incompetent.

[Adab]

Wait, you mean no one else is the defender? Reminds me of all-attacking football tactics in the very early days; the first England vs. Scotland game in 1872 saw England play 1-1-8 and Scotland 2-2-6, for example.

It works if
A. Your keeper is a God
B. Your enemy is incompetent.

I can agree with the above. Ironically, considering the all-attacking tactics, the England vs. Scotland match ended 0-0.

[Osarius]

NSGFC should make a case to be Blackpool's reserves.

José Riga must be a madman for sticking with that job.

Apparently, he's not; I've just read that he's set to leave after only 5 weeks in charge. It seems like the club has just imploded.

If I had the quals, I'd totally take the job. Not like I can make things worse.

[Buyan]

I can agree with the above. Ironically, considering the all-attacking tactics, the England vs. Scotland match ended 0-0.

One shouldn't forget that 1-1-8 meant: attack with eight with one guy hanging around the halfline and a fat guy around the opponents strikers to booth them in the ground --- defend with as many lads as possible.

@Osarius: I'ld write an application letter. If you're lucky and hit the right nerve, the manager sounds like enough of a lunatic to hire someone who just passed by his mind. IF you get the job, I demand an assisting function, thou.

"Ehm, ok, I sign. But I've got a request."
"What?"
"There's some guy that writes on the same forums as I did. I kind of promised he could be my assistant if I'ld get the job."
"Hmm... Is he cheap?"
"I guess so."
"Bring him in."

[Osarius]

@Osarius: I'ld write an application letter. If you're lucky and hit the right nerve, the manager sounds like enough of a lunatic to hire someone who just passed by his mind. IF you get the job, I demand an assisting function, thou.

No I'm pretty sure I literally cannot be appointed. I don't have a UEFA B License. Yet.

[Yellow Yellow Red]

I like the new West Ham crest (for 15-16)

[Threayce]

I like the new West Ham crest (for 15-16)

(Image)

I agree. The removal of the castle seems weird, but it really does improve the crest all together.

[Adab]

I like the new West Ham crest (for 15-16)

(Image)

That's a good one. We don't really need the castle there - two golden rivet hammers are enough. Too bad it will only be used from the 2016-17 season, when they will make their move from Boleyn Ground to the Olympic Stadium.

[Yellow Yellow Red]

I like the new West Ham crest (for 15-16)

(Image)

That's a good one. We don't really need the castle there - two golden rivet hammers are enough. Too bad it will only be used from the 2016-17 season, when they will make their move from Boleyn Ground to the Olympic Stadium.

Ah, 16-17, I was thinking 15-16, my bad.

[The Icemark]

Crest's overall seem to be getting simplified

[I V Stalin]

@Osarius: I'ld write an application letter. If you're lucky and hit the right nerve, the manager sounds like enough of a lunatic to hire someone who just passed by his mind. IF you get the job, I demand an assisting function, thou.

No I'm pretty sure I literally cannot be appointed. I don't have a UEFA B License. Yet.

Meh. Apply, say you're working towards getting it. Happens all the time. Besides, surely you've got hundreds of hours experience on FM?

[Yellow Yellow Red]

No I'm pretty sure I literally cannot be appointed. I don't have a UEFA B License. Yet.

Meh. Apply, say you're working towards getting it. Happens all the time. Besides, surely you've got hundreds of hours experience on FM?

And hey - "Let's be honest... things couldn't be much worse" is actually a fairly convincing argument. Say you'll work for dirt cheap and the job is yours.

Crest's overall seem to be getting simplified

I'm more worried about the loss of mottos we've been seeing in recent years (not in this case in particular, but in general)

edit: van Gaal says Carrick is out "10-12 weeks". Worth signing someone for cover? Play Jones there for the beginning of the season?

[The Blaatschapen]

http://www.vi.nl/video.htm?videoToPlay= ... Z0bXF4bGE=

Netherlands one of the top 4 competitions in the world.

Van Gaal has barely landed and has already started his whole schtick with journalists

[Yellow Yellow Red]

http://www.vi.nl/video.htm?videoToPlay=JTI3VGFjdGlzY2glMjBnZXppZW4lMjBpcyUyMGRlJTIwRXJlZGl2aXNpZSUyMGRlJTIwYmVzdGUlMjBjb21wZXRpdGllJTIwdGVyJTIwd2VyZWxkJTI3JTIwMTVocGZ3MTA2cDR0NTF2a3llanZ0bXF4bGE=

Netherlands one of the top 4 competitions in the world.

Van Gaal has barely landed and has already started his whole schtick with journalists

Heh, let's hope English journalists have read this:

Dear British football journalists,

Congratulations on obtaining Louis van Gaal. From this moment on, you will be patronised, looked at with disdain, and haunted by a constant doubt if Mr. Van Gaal is flat out making fun of you or being dead serious. Before you embark on the journey that is having a post match interview with Mr. Van Gaal, you should make yourself familiar with these ten ground rules.

1. Be prepared for any possible mood Contrary to many other managers, whether the match is won, drawn or lost is no indication whatsoever of Van Gaal’s mood. Even if he has won and seems to be quite happy, one wrong question can - and will - put him off.

2. Start neutral Begin with a question about the match just played. “How did your team do?” or “What did you think?” will suffice. “You must be very disappointed” will not. That is because the match you saw and the match he saw can be very different ones. Mr. Van Gaal is perfectly comfortable declaring that a 0-3 loss at home to Sunderland was his team’s best game all season, just because his players were doing what he told them to do. It’s not always about what ends up on the scoreboard. Don’t enter the interview thinking it is.

3. Don’t introduce yourself Or else he’ll know your name, remember it and use it against you. You will not be some anonymous guy with a microphone and a cameraman on his side; you will be Gary, or Clive, or Tony, with whom he will or will not have a feud from the get-go. (He will.)

4. Stay on topic If the interview is about the game, you talk about the game. Not about the next game, transfer rumours or whatever happened on the training pitch. Every question about anything else than the game just played will derail the conversation.

5. It’s his language now, not yours Mr. Van Gaal will come up with new additions to the Oxford Dictionary. In Germany, he inadvertently (or was it?) introduced the phrase Der Tod oder die Gladiolen, a Dutch saying meaning literally “death or the gladioli”: all or nothing. This is because if Mr. Van Gaal speaks your language, it is no longer your language, it’s his. It is not Mr. Van Gaal who has trouble speaking English, it is you, for not going along with his obviously much better interpretation of it.

6. Try to avoid the meta-interview An interview with Mr. Van Gaal will almost inevitably wind up being an interview about the interview, or more specifically, him asking questions about your questions. This will be the moment you feel the conversation is slipping away from you. Switch back to the studio, or it will end up on YouTube.

7. Don’t repeat the question Never mind - you will fail at this. You won’t fool him, even if you think your follow-up question is a cleverly rephrased, well disguised one. He’ll say: “I just told you”. This is inevitable. Don’t try to avoid it, just try to get over it as smoothly as possible, like you would at a speed bump.

8. Keep on your toes At some point, you will think Mr. Van Gaal is joking. Sure, he does it with a straight face, but he’s joking, he must be. He’s mocking you. Or is he really this angry about this little thing you just said? No - it can’t be. You start to stammer. Ha! He’s just taking a… wait, is he? You will never know, as only Mr. Van Gaal knows. And he never breaks character.

9. Distinguish fact from opinion This is hard, as only Mr. Van Gaal can determine which are facts and which are opinions. Which team was disadvantaged by the ref, or which team should have won based on the number of chances? He, and only he, will have the answer. These are the facts. Your facts are opinions. After the 1-1 draw of The Netherlands against Ecuador last Saturday, he called the 0-1 an “unfortunate ball moment”: nothing to do about it. In Mr. Van Gaal’s world, this makes perfect sense. In your world it may not, but you are not to point this out, as he will call you dumb.

10. Stay under three minutes Try to get everything you need within that window. After that, the chances of hitting a conversational speed bump will statistically rise. You’ll start wandering into other realms of conversation (how about this or that rumour, Mr. Van Gaal?), or you will ask a question a second time, or he will say you did. After that, you’re on your own. Good luck, mate.

[The Blaatschapen]

http://www.vi.nl/video.htm?videoToPlay=JTI3VGFjdGlzY2glMjBnZXppZW4lMjBpcyUyMGRlJTIwRXJlZGl2aXNpZSUyMGRlJTIwYmVzdGUlMjBjb21wZXRpdGllJTIwdGVyJTIwd2VyZWxkJTI3JTIwMTVocGZ3MTA2cDR0NTF2a3llanZ0bXF4bGE=

Netherlands one of the top 4 competitions in the world.

Van Gaal has barely landed and has already started his whole schtick with journalists

Heh, let's hope English journalists have read this:

Dear British football journalists,

Congratulations on obtaining Louis van Gaal. From this moment on, you will be patronised, looked at with disdain, and haunted by a constant doubt if Mr. Van Gaal is flat out making fun of you or being dead serious. Before you embark on the journey that is having a post match interview with Mr. Van Gaal, you should make yourself familiar with these ten ground rules.

1. Be prepared for any possible mood Contrary to many other managers, whether the match is won, drawn or lost is no indication whatsoever of Van Gaal’s mood. Even if he has won and seems to be quite happy, one wrong question can - and will - put him off.

2. Start neutral Begin with a question about the match just played. “How did your team do?” or “What did you think?” will suffice. “You must be very disappointed” will not. That is because the match you saw and the match he saw can be very different ones. Mr. Van Gaal is perfectly comfortable declaring that a 0-3 loss at home to Sunderland was his team’s best game all season, just because his players were doing what he told them to do. It’s not always about what ends up on the scoreboard. Don’t enter the interview thinking it is.

3. Don’t introduce yourself Or else he’ll know your name, remember it and use it against you. You will not be some anonymous guy with a microphone and a cameraman on his side; you will be Gary, or Clive, or Tony, with whom he will or will not have a feud from the get-go. (He will.)

4. Stay on topic If the interview is about the game, you talk about the game. Not about the next game, transfer rumours or whatever happened on the training pitch. Every question about anything else than the game just played will derail the conversation.

5. It’s his language now, not yours Mr. Van Gaal will come up with new additions to the Oxford Dictionary. In Germany, he inadvertently (or was it?) introduced the phrase Der Tod oder die Gladiolen, a Dutch saying meaning literally “death or the gladioli”: all or nothing. This is because if Mr. Van Gaal speaks your language, it is no longer your language, it’s his. It is not Mr. Van Gaal who has trouble speaking English, it is you, for not going along with his obviously much better interpretation of it.

6. Try to avoid the meta-interview An interview with Mr. Van Gaal will almost inevitably wind up being an interview about the interview, or more specifically, him asking questions about your questions. This will be the moment you feel the conversation is slipping away from you. Switch back to the studio, or it will end up on YouTube.

7. Don’t repeat the question Never mind - you will fail at this. You won’t fool him, even if you think your follow-up question is a cleverly rephrased, well disguised one. He’ll say: “I just told you”. This is inevitable. Don’t try to avoid it, just try to get over it as smoothly as possible, like you would at a speed bump.

8. Keep on your toes At some point, you will think Mr. Van Gaal is joking. Sure, he does it with a straight face, but he’s joking, he must be. He’s mocking you. Or is he really this angry about this little thing you just said? No - it can’t be. You start to stammer. Ha! He’s just taking a… wait, is he? You will never know, as only Mr. Van Gaal knows. And he never breaks character.

9. Distinguish fact from opinion This is hard, as only Mr. Van Gaal can determine which are facts and which are opinions. Which team was disadvantaged by the ref, or which team should have won based on the number of chances? He, and only he, will have the answer. These are the facts. Your facts are opinions. After the 1-1 draw of The Netherlands against Ecuador last Saturday, he called the 0-1 an “unfortunate ball moment”: nothing to do about it. In Mr. Van Gaal’s world, this makes perfect sense. In your world it may not, but you are not to point this out, as he will call you dumb.

10. Stay under three minutes Try to get everything you need within that window. After that, the chances of hitting a conversational speed bump will statistically rise. You’ll start wandering into other realms of conversation (how about this or that rumour, Mr. Van Gaal?), or you will ask a question a second time, or he will say you did. After that, you’re on your own. Good luck, mate.

You mean viewtopic.php?p=20174986#p20174986

[Bundabunda]

No I'm pretty sure I literally cannot be appointed. I don't have a UEFA B License. Yet.

Meh. Apply, say you're working towards getting it. Happens all the time. Besides, surely you've got hundreds of hours experience on FM?

Hell, Tim Sherwood got away with it at the highest level of the game. I don't see why our very own Os Dalglish can't.

Van Gaal is way crazy. It's a shame that Bielsa doesn't want to come to England, because the pre-match banter and the matches themselves would be phenomenal.

[Yellow Yellow Red]

Heh, let's hope English journalists have read this:

You mean viewtopic.php?p=20174986#p20174986

Grumble grumble grumble, sneaky ninja sheep, grumble grumble grumble

[Yellow Yellow Red]

Meh. Apply, say you're working towards getting it. Happens all the time. Besides, surely you've got hundreds of hours experience on FM?

Hell, Tim Sherwood got away with it at the highest level of the game. I don't see why our very own Os Dalglish can't.

Van Gaal is way crazy. It's a shame that Bielsa doesn't want to come to England, because the pre-match banter and the matches themselves would be phenomenal.

I really hope that Man United and Millwall meet at some time. Louis van Gaal vs Ollie.

[KoloToure]

[spoiler]

http://www.vi.nl/video.htm?videoToPlay=JTI3VGFjdGlzY2glMjBnZXppZW4lMjBpcyUyMGRlJTIwRXJlZGl2aXNpZSUyMGRlJTIwYmVzdGUlMjBjb21wZXRpdGllJTIwdGVyJTIwd2VyZWxkJTI3JTIwMTVocGZ3MTA2cDR0NTF2a3llanZ0bXF4bGE=

Netherlands one of the top 4 competitions in the world.

Van Gaal has barely landed and has already started his whole schtick with journalists

Heh, let's hope English journalists have read this:

Dear British football journalists,

Congratulations on obtaining Louis van Gaal. From this moment on, you will be patronised, looked at with disdain, and haunted by a constant doubt if Mr. Van Gaal is flat out making fun of you or being dead serious. Before you embark on the journey that is having a post match interview with Mr. Van Gaal, you should make yourself familiar with these ten ground rules.

1. Be prepared for any possible mood Contrary to many other managers, whether the match is won, drawn or lost is no indication whatsoever of Van Gaal’s mood. Even if he has won and seems to be quite happy, one wrong question can - and will - put him off.

2. Start neutral Begin with a question about the match just played. “How did your team do?” or “What did you think?” will suffice. “You must be very disappointed” will not. That is because the match you saw and the match he saw can be very different ones. Mr. Van Gaal is perfectly comfortable declaring that a 0-3 loss at home to Sunderland was his team’s best game all season, just because his players were doing what he told them to do. It’s not always about what ends up on the scoreboard. Don’t enter the interview thinking it is.

3. Don’t introduce yourself Or else he’ll know your name, remember it and use it against you. You will not be some anonymous guy with a microphone and a cameraman on his side; you will be Gary, or Clive, or Tony, with whom he will or will not have a feud from the get-go. (He will.)

4. Stay on topic If the interview is about the game, you talk about the game. Not about the next game, transfer rumours or whatever happened on the training pitch. Every question about anything else than the game just played will derail the conversation.

5. It’s his language now, not yours Mr. Van Gaal will come up with new additions to the Oxford Dictionary. In Germany, he inadvertently (or was it?) introduced the phrase Der Tod oder die Gladiolen, a Dutch saying meaning literally “death or the gladioli”: all or nothing. This is because if Mr. Van Gaal speaks your language, it is no longer your language, it’s his. It is not Mr. Van Gaal who has trouble speaking English, it is you, for not going along with his obviously much better interpretation of it.

6. Try to avoid the meta-interview An interview with Mr. Van Gaal will almost inevitably wind up being an interview about the interview, or more specifically, him asking questions about your questions. This will be the moment you feel the conversation is slipping away from you. Switch back to the studio, or it will end up on YouTube.

7. Don’t repeat the question Never mind - you will fail at this. You won’t fool him, even if you think your follow-up question is a cleverly rephrased, well disguised one. He’ll say: “I just told you”. This is inevitable. Don’t try to avoid it, just try to get over it as smoothly as possible, like you would at a speed bump.

8. Keep on your toes At some point, you will think Mr. Van Gaal is joking. Sure, he does it with a straight face, but he’s joking, he must be. He’s mocking you. Or is he really this angry about this little thing you just said? No - it can’t be. You start to stammer. Ha! He’s just taking a… wait, is he? You will never know, as only Mr. Van Gaal knows. And he never breaks character.

9. Distinguish fact from opinion This is hard, as only Mr. Van Gaal can determine which are facts and which are opinions. Which team was disadvantaged by the ref, or which team should have won based on the number of chances? He, and only he, will have the answer. These are the facts. Your facts are opinions. After the 1-1 draw of The Netherlands against Ecuador last Saturday, he called the 0-1 an “unfortunate ball moment”: nothing to do about it. In Mr. Van Gaal’s world, this makes perfect sense. In your world it may not, but you are not to point this out, as he will call you dumb.

10. Stay under three minutes Try to get everything you need within that window. After that, the chances of hitting a conversational speed bump will statistically rise. You’ll start wandering into other realms of conversation (how about this or that rumour, Mr. Van Gaal?), or you will ask a question a second time, or he will say you did. After that, you’re on your own. Good luck, mate.

[/spoiler]
So, basically, it's back to working under Ferguson-like conditions?