Does the friend-zone exist?

[Slaver Elite]

I think it does, but we are more sympathetic to women when they fall into it, because let's face it, the types of men who fall into it tend to be, well, unmanly. They show their weakness and that is still not acceptable, that is why they fall into the infamous friend zone.

[Quintium]

It's true that there's quite a different standard when it comes to women who are subjected to the much-feared 'friend zone'. They're viewed almost sympathetically by people, while men who end up in the friend zone tend to be viewed as creeps, as opportunists and borderline metrosexuals.

[Blasveck]

It's true that there's quite a different standard when it comes to women who are subjected to the much-feared 'friend zone'. They're viewed almost sympathetically by people, while men who end up in the friend zone tend to be viewed as creeps, as opportunists and borderline metrosexuals.

I wouldn't really say creepy, or opportunists, but perhaps undesirable.

[Evil Lord Bane]

The friend zone exist between "I want to date you." and "Get out of my sight." It's the Purgatory of intersex relationships.

[Ecans]

UMMM...friend-zone??

[The Tundra]

of course it exists. women are subject to it much less because they are less emotionally retarded, but it does exist.

[Quintium]

It's true that there's quite a different standard when it comes to women who are subjected to the much-feared 'friend zone'. They're viewed almost sympathetically by people, while men who end up in the friend zone tend to be viewed as creeps, as opportunists and borderline metrosexuals.

I wouldn't really say creepy, or opportunists, but perhaps undesirable.

Oh, they're certainly undesirable. That's the point - men who are undesirable are usually viewed as creepy.
The two are tied together. If you're creepy, you're undesirable; if you're undesirable, it's much easier for people to find you creepy.

[Quintium]

The friend zone exist between "I want to date you." and "Get out of my sight." It's the Purgatory of intersex relationships.

Perhaps one of the reasons it's the 'creeps' who find themselves in the friend zone is because they're not confident enough to break off all contact. It is, after all, usually the least desirable men who find themselves in a position like that and keep hanging on. If you find yourself in a situation like that, it's probably best to break off all contact you have with that person, because a genuine friendship isn't possible anymore and a relationship probably won't happen.

[Eastfield Lodge]

The friend zone exist between "I want to date you." and "Get out of my sight." It's the Purgatory of intersex relationships.

Perhaps one of the reasons it's the 'creeps' who find themselves in the friend zone is because they're not confident enough to break off all contact. It is, after all, usually the least desirable men who find themselves in a position like that and keep hanging on. If you find yourself in a situation like that, it's probably best to break off all contact you have with that person, because a genuine friendship isn't possible anymore and a relationship probably won't happen.

I've sort of been in that situation, and god it hurts.

[The Tundra]

UMMM...friend-zone??

the zone were the subject of your affection won't reciprocate or deny it in a vain attempt to be nice, but just kills you slowly.

[Esternial]

Depends on how you define it.

I'm friends with several women, who I have no interest in (and vice-versa).

Usually, when women I'm interested in do not reciprocate, my mind tends to "get over it" pretty quickly. As a result, I'm also pretty oblivious to signs of interest, unless they're very obvious. It's stupid to keep hoping and ignore the possibility of an enjoyable friendship.

There have been times when I went out for food with a friend of mine and people assumed we were a couple. Quite the awkward situation for both of us, since I don't really pay attention to how other people look at me when I'm around good friends.

The friend zone exist between "I want to date you." and "Get out of my sight." It's the Purgatory of intersex relationships.

Perhaps one of the reasons it's the 'creeps' who find themselves in the friend zone is because they're not confident enough to break off all contact. It is, after all, usually the least desirable men who find themselves in a position like that and keep hanging on. If you find yourself in a situation like that, it's probably best to break off all contact you have with that person, because a genuine friendship isn't possible anymore and a relationship probably won't happen.

I'm friends with my ex and we get along just fine.


Maybe I just have a dominant feminine side or something, because this inability to deal with "being friendzoned" doesn't really bother me at all.

If they see me as a friend, I see them as a friend.
If I see them as a friend, I assume the feeling is mutual.

[Ifreann]

I can tell already that this is going to be a mature and productive conversation, free of gross generalisations based on sex or unrealistic notions about how adult relationships work.

[Slaver Elite]

I can tell already that this is going to be a mature and productive conversation, free of gross generalisations based on sex or unrealistic notions about how adult relationships work.

You are really contributing here...

[Esternial]

I can tell already that this is going to be a mature and productive conversation, free of gross generalisations based on sex or unrealistic notions about how adult relationships work.

An astute observation.

[Frazers]

In the minds of the immature whiners who can't accept rejection

[The USOT]

It does and I feel sorry for many who fall into it.

There is an attitude I find common now on the internet that people who enter into the freindzone are creeps, sexists and that they expect the video game view of romance (complements as a resource to acquire sex) to hold true to reality.

Now im not denying that people exist. Often however people are inclined to use a big brush to cover all those who have complained at being in the freindzone.
I have never been freindzoned, but as someone who has freindzoned; the individual who I freindzoned was not a creep and was a genuinly lovely person. I hate the idea that many of these pictures (which if facebook and tumblr posts are anything to go by are quite widespread) people would think apply to them.

[Ivory Record]

The issue with the Friend-Zone isn't so much that it implies a sexist bias (though it does and that's bad), but that it implies somehow being a friend of someone is an undesirable trait. Edit: The bias lies in the general distribution of the population of the friend-zone.

Are all our interpersonal relationships with our preferred gender supposed to be viewed as potential hookups? I'm pretty bad at this "people" game so maybe I missed something in the patch notes, but the way I learned it was that people are cool and it's cool to be around them.

If there is a friend-zone, I'm glad it exists, because that means I can still know people without trying to sleep with them. That'd be just entirely too much work to be bothered with.

[Ivory Record]

I can tell already that this is going to be a mature and productive conversation, free of gross generalisations based on sex or unrealistic notions about how adult relationships work.

You are really contributing here...

You're expecting anything other than laconic input from Ifreann? You must be new.

[Quintium]

The issue with the Friend-Zone isn't so much that it implies a sexist bias (though it does and that's bad), but that it implies somehow being a friend of someone is an undesirable trait. Edit: The bias lies in the general distribution of the population of the friend-zone.

I disagree there; it implies being someone's friend, hoping that you'll be able to get a relationship with that person later on, is a bad thing.
And I think that is rather undesirable. Few things creep me out more than men hanging around with me hoping they'll be able to sleep with me.

[Olwe]

Having been there a couple of times, I can verify for an absolute certainty that the friend zone does in fact exist.

[The Merchant Republics]

Yes. But guys have no right to complain about it.

Women after all, and this may surprise some people; are allowed to choose who they take as partners in this day and age, and as it happens. People who never explicitly express romantic interest in them for months or years tend to get less and less romantically viable. Mutual unspoken attraction exists, of course, this is much different from the "friendzone", if you are in the friendzone then rather explicitly there is no mutual unspoken attraction. Unless of course, you've never bothered to tell her how you feel, in which case you're just an idiot, because one way or another that will resolve the conflict of what you are in.

Now I say this as a person very much as a recovering "nice guy", indeed I still don't understand how it is that men and women exactly go about dating people they barely know. The process seems strange and unwieldy to me. However I have at least learned as much that just being nice to girl earns you no right to date her. In a day, dozens even hundreds of men will be kind to her, if not just as kind then nearly so, plenty of guys will be her friends. If you imagine that she'll be able to tell from all those many men that you are by virtue of being a nice guy alone, the only one for her.

As for my own case. I never understood the basics of dating. Generally speaking I don't have a particularly great need for social activity, I don't enjoy the idea of casual sexual encounters, so to me any relationship I'd be interested in really has to develop over personal connections over time, that risks quite obviously the danger of what the real friendzone is, that is to say that you'll get too emotionally attached to the ideal of a person to actually want to risk that they won't reciprocate. In my experience however, and I'll say this for the record of any currently suffering nice guys. I have never ruined a friendship by stating my attraction to the person alone indeed I have improved friendships that way, even with slight embarrassment on my part, I have ruined a friendship by overzealous pursuit of that attraction.

[Slaver Elite]

The issue with the Friend-Zone isn't so much that it implies a sexist bias (though it does and that's bad), but that it implies somehow being a friend of someone is an undesirable trait. Edit: The bias lies in the general distribution of the population of the friend-zone.

Are all our interpersonal relationships with our preferred gender supposed to be viewed as potential hookups? I'm pretty bad at this "people" game so maybe I missed something in the patch notes, but the way I learned it was that people are cool and it's cool to be around them.

If there is a friend-zone, I'm glad it exists, because that means I can still know people without trying to sleep with them. That'd be just entirely too much work to be bothered with.

Its not so much that all relationships are potential hookups, its that there is desire for that particular person. Its not like anyone can help how they feel.

[Kepler-22]

It depends on how a person defines the friend zone. It seems, from the earlier posts in the thread that people in the friend zone are rejected of being complete friends but are still treated nicely, almost painfully polite. That and the majority of the people are "undesirable".

The friendzone to me is a place where you just end up as friends with a person and have no interest in dating the person you friend zoned, or vice versa.

[The Tundra]

The issue with the Friend-Zone isn't so much that it implies a sexist bias (though it does and that's bad), but that it implies somehow being a friend of someone is an undesirable trait. Edit: The bias lies in the general distribution of the population of the friend-zone.

Are all our interpersonal relationships with our preferred gender supposed to be viewed as potential hookups? I'm pretty bad at this "people" game so maybe I missed something in the patch notes, but the way I learned it was that people are cool and it's cool to be around them.

If there is a friend-zone, I'm glad it exists, because that means I can still know people without trying to sleep with them. That'd be just entirely too much work to be bothered with.

Getting rejected=/= being put in the friendzone

[Ifreann]

In the minds of the immature whiners who can't accept rejection

I'm not going to pretend that I pay very close attention to them, but the impression I've gotten of Tales Of How I Was Friendzoned is that there is no rejection involved. Our victim identifies a lady he wishes to bump uglies with, he acts friendly towards her, and then finds that, alas and alack, she now thinks of him as a friend. Woe, woe is he!

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You are really contributing here...

You're expecting anything other than laconic input from Ifreann? You must be new.

It really doesn't stop feeling weird that I have a reputation on NSG.