The "Nice Guy" and the friendzone, Society's attitude

[Condunum]

Just try to treat everybody as individuals and you will have less issues, period.

Though I do understand the "nice guy" feelings, I also understand that they are wrong, irrational, and mistaken, and should be sorted out internally.

Wise words from Seperates *nod*

[Tubbsalot]

ah..but nerdy/quiet/shygirl with big boobs will also get a lot of male attention -FACT!

The guys who are willing to disregard everything aside from boob size are not the sort of people whose interest is flattering.

[Prussia-Steinbach]

From a practical standpoint, I might as well be.

I got lucky.

I became a stoner and learned social skills. Then I got sober and it works still.

^ This.

Don't like the results of being a "nice guy?" Change. Grow some fucking balls and man the fuck up. Do what the not-nice guys do and get some. Don't sit around and whine about how great you are and how girls just don't see it. Face reality or get the fuck out.

[Condunum]

Yes. Nerdy/Quiet/Shy girl is Nice guy.

Good to know we've got self-victimizing down to an art.

ah..but nerdy/quiet/shygirl with big boobs will also get a lot of male attention -FACT!

That would be 'nice guy' who gets outed for being a total lay. Or something like that.

[Asuiop]

Just try to treat everybody as individuals and you will have less issues, period.

Though I do understand the "nice guy" feelings, I also understand that they are wrong, irrational, and mistaken, and should be sorted out internally.

Wise words from Seperates *nod*

We must preserve these writings from him, so that future generations may gaze apon his brilliance!

[Mavorpen]

Fuck whoever instilled that nonsense into the minds of humanity. Words cannot express how annoying it was to be at a lunch table enjoying my salad by lonesome only to have a girl sit down and begin whining about their newly ended relationship to me. Sometimes I literally wondered, "Who the fuck ARE you?"

Okay just curious what you would say.

What if a crying woman you don't know came up to you why your eating lunch, started crying about a guy dumping her, then started eating your salad, sobbing the whole time?

I would spend the entire time plotting her destruction. You don't fucking eat my salad without my permission. And only one girl was ever allowed to finish the rest of my salad when I was too lazy to eat the rest.

[Churchilland]

TBH I've been friendzoned so many times before that I'm 18 and never really had a girlfriend (I say 'really' because primary school ones where you just sit on a swing and it lasts 2 days doesn't count) but, I'm sorta glad I was friendzoned by the ones I did and they're genuinely nice people etc and I've seen some pretty messy breakups too, which I'm glad I've never experienced, but, yeah, friendship tends to last longer than high school romances, so look at it in a positive light!

[Condunum]

I got lucky.

I became a stoner and learned social skills. Then I got sober and it works still.

^ This.

Don't like the results of being a "nice guy?" Change. Grow some fucking balls and man the fuck up. Do what the not-nice guys do and get some. Don't sit around and whine about how great you are and how girls just don't see it. Face reality or get the fuck out.

A lot more blunt than I would put it, but this is the general driving force behind my view.

[Crystal Spires]

As a female I shall drop my two cents.

Some females are stupid, and are attracted to stupid things.

2¢ given.

Now that that's over with we get to the real gritty part of this situation: "Attraction"

What defines what makes a male attractive?

Society says looks (which give an indication of health), the provision of security (which helps to provide viable reproduction), and Adventurous (read: a risk taker) Other selective traits that seem to increase the chances of scoring on Darwin's Lottery.

For me, I want to be able to have a conversation with the lad, I don't give a crap about his appearance or paycheck. I want to be able to feel like I am conversing with an intellectual equal who won't mock me or belittle me when I do nerdy things.

I'm a girl with immensely simple standards.

[Tubbsalot]

Don't like the results of being a "nice guy?" Change. Grow some fucking balls and man the fuck up. Do what the not-nice guys do and get some. Don't sit around and whine about how great you are and how girls just don't see it. Face reality or get the fuck out.

Given that Nice Guy practices are rooted in a lack of experience with relationships, I doubt it can be dealt with by Manning Up or Interacting W/ Yr Bootstraps or whatever.

[Forster Keys]

I got lucky.

I became a stoner and learned social skills. Then I got sober and it works still.

^ This.

Don't like the results of being a "nice guy?" Change. Grow some fucking balls and man the fuck up. Do what the not-nice guys do and get some. Don't sit around and whine about how great you are and how girls just don't see it. Face reality or get the fuck out.

NICE GUY IS A CODEWORD FOR WHINING.

[Seperates]

Just try to treat everybody as individuals and you will have less issues, period.

Though I do understand the "nice guy" feelings, I also understand that they are wrong, irrational, and mistaken, and should be sorted out internally.

Wise words from Seperates *nod*

*laughs* Thanks... But it's easier in preaching than in practice. I still find myself falling into the trap occasionally and I've had a lot of practice.

[Condunum]

As a female I shall drop my two cents.

Some females are stupid, and are attracted to stupid things.

2¢ given.

Now that that's over with we get to the real gritty part of this situation: "Attraction"

What defines what makes a male attractive?

Society says looks (which give an indication of health), the provision of security (which helps to provide viable reproduction), and Adventurous (read: a risk taker) Other selective traits that seem to increase the chances of scoring on Darwin's Lottery.

For me, I want to be able to have a conversation with the lad, I don't give a crap about his appearance or paycheck. I want to be able to feel like I am conversing with an intellectual equal who won't mock me or belittle me when I do nerdy things.

I'm a girl with immensely simple standards.

Intelligent conversations? Well, fuck. I usually just grunt until the woman finishes making my food and then I smile because I'm a nice guy and she jumps m... Sorry, what?

[Arglorand]

See, the problem as I see it is that far too often "nice guys" perceive actually not doing anything to get the girl they like as "being nice". I'm a nice guy (well, I think so, anyway) and I can honestly say that it's not enough to not be a douchebag football team captain from every high school trope in history to get yourself a relationship. You have to actually also, well, actually find a girl/guy who would be interested in you. Getting rejected a few hundred times by a hundred different people is a natural part of finding someone you truly love who reciprocates those feelings. Until that moment, nice guys ought to chill and go play computer games.

[The Parkus Empire]

As a female I shall drop my two cents.

Some females are stupid, and are attracted to stupid things.

2¢ given.

Now that that's over with we get to the real gritty part of this situation: "Attraction"

What defines what makes a male attractive?

Society says looks (which give an indication of health), the provision of security (which helps to provide viable reproduction), and Adventurous (read: a risk taker) Other selective traits that seem to increase the chances of scoring on Darwin's Lottery.

For me, I want to be able to have a conversation with the lad, I don't give a crap about his appearance or paycheck. I want to be able to feel like I am conversing with an intellectual equal who won't mock me or belittle me when I do nerdy things.

I'm a girl with immensely simple standards.

I guess so. Sounds like you'd be happy with a bum.

[Condunum]

Wise words from Seperates *nod*

*laughs* Thanks... But it's easier in preaching than in practice. I still find myself falling into the trap occasionally and I've had a lot of practice.

Anecdotal, but I've lived it and did the better thing. I changed how I was, it stuck and it's a positive change.

[Asuiop]

Okay just curious what you would say.

What if a crying woman you don't know came up to you why your eating lunch, started crying about a guy dumping her, then started eating your salad, sobbing the whole time?

I would spend the entire time plotting her destruction. You don't fucking eat my salad without my permission. And only one girl was ever allowed to finish the rest of my salad when I was too lazy to eat the rest.

I love it.

[Seperates]

*laughs* Thanks... But it's easier in preaching than in practice. I still find myself falling into the trap occasionally and I've had a lot of practice.

Anecdotal, but I've lived it and did the better thing. I changed how I was, it stuck and it's a positive change.

I'm still working on it. But I still have time.

[New haven america]

I got lucky.

I became a stoner and learned social skills. Then I got sober and it works still.

^ This.

Don't like the results of being a "nice guy?" Change. Grow some fucking balls and man the fuck up. Do what the not-nice guys do and get some. Don't sit around and whine about how great you are and how girls just don't see it. Face reality or get the fuck out.

After thinking about it, I don't get why people say "Grow some balls", they can only handle 8 pounds of force. :\

[Crystal Spires]

I guess so. Sounds like you'd be happy with a bum.

I actually dated a homeless chap once, I'll have you know.

It didn't work out because of time restraints and a lack of communication. Again, TALKING WITH A PERSON. It's astonishing what communication does for a relationship.

[Tubbsalot]

What defines what makes a male attractive?

Society says looks (which give an indication of health), the provision of security (which helps to provide viable reproduction), and Adventurous (read: a risk taker) Other selective traits that seem to increase the chances of scoring on Darwin's Lottery.

Would it surprise you to learn that most other women are like you, in that they don't give two shits about utterly superficial qualities like this in their choice of romantic partner?

[Condunum]

Anecdotal, but I've lived it and did the better thing. I changed how I was, it stuck and it's a positive change.

I'm still working on it. But I still have time.

I'm not allowed to tell you what you should do. The rules prohibit this.

[Mavorpen]

I guess so. Sounds like you'd be happy with a bum.

I actually dated a homeless chap once, I'll have you know.

It didn't work out because of time restraints and a lack of communication. Again, TALKING WITH A PERSON. It's astonishing what communication does for a relationship.

I dunno. I've connected with some women quite nicely by staring at them intensely while eating a banana slowly.

[Crystal Spires]

Would it surprise you to learn that most other women are like you, in that they don't give two shits about utterly superficial qualities like this in their choice of romantic partner?

I would hope so, but this is what Society teaches us is true.

What the world would be if there were more people like me. I dread to think. Poor world.

[New haven america]

Okay just curious what you would say.

What if a crying woman you don't know came up to you why your eating lunch, started crying about a guy dumping her, then started eating your salad, sobbing the whole time?

I would spend the entire time plotting her destruction. You don't fucking eat my salad without my permission. And only one girl was ever allowed to finish the rest of my salad when I was too lazy to eat the rest.