Generalites: How do you view yourselves in a relationship?

[PrncssOfCuddles]

What makes you nervous about them?

I don't know what to do honestly. I don't want to look foolish.

Relationships are different for different people. As Bottle so eloquently said, it isn't as if this is a video game where if you learn the code you can win. People want and expect different things from different relationships.

Don't worry about not looking foolish, worry about finding someone who will find your foolishness adorable <3

[Neo Art]

What makes you nervous about them?

The eating. You know, how after the man inseminates the woman's eggs, she has to eat the man in order to nurture for her children. I don't wanna get eaten.

Kids this is why you wear condoms. So you don't get eaten.

[United Dependencies]

I don't know what to do honestly. I don't want to look foolish.

Relationships are different for different people. As Bottle so eloquently said, it isn't as if this is a video game where if you learn the code you can win. People want and expect different things from different relationships.

Don't worry about not looking foolish, worry about finding someone who will find your foolishness adorable <3

Where is bottle's post?

[PrncssOfCuddles]

What makes you nervous about them?

The eating. You know, how after the man inseminates the woman's eggs, she has to eat the man in order to nurture for her children. I don't wanna get eaten.

Stop mating with praying mantises then.

[Neo Art]

The eating. You know, how after the man inseminates the woman's eggs, she has to eat the man in order to nurture for her children. I don't wanna get eaten.

Stop mating with praying mantises then.

You know what they say about those religious chicks. They're all freaks.

[PrncssOfCuddles]

The eating. You know, how after the man inseminates the woman's eggs, she has to eat the man in order to nurture for her children. I don't wanna get eaten.

Kids this is why you wear condoms. So you don't get eaten.

Wearing a condom while getting eaten maybe safe sex, but it is no fun

Also, latex flavor is yucky.

[PrncssOfCuddles]

Stop mating with praying mantises then.

You know what they say about those religious chicks. They're all freaks.

I represent this statement.

[Neo Art]

You know what they say about those religious chicks. They're all freaks.

I represent this statement.

oh please, you're positively vanilla

[PrncssOfCuddles]

The thing about relationships is that you can do everything right and have it still not work out. SaintB might have done everything right and still this partner would simply have wanted to go with somebody else. That sucks, and I can totally understand why some people feel like it's unfair, but relationships don't work like videogames; you can't just find the right sequence of button-pushes and be guaranteed that you'll win the game.

Quoted to help United Dependencies.

[PrncssOfCuddles]

I represent this statement.

oh please, you're positively vanilla

I have chocolate sprinkles!!!!!

[Frenequesta]

Non-existent.

[Veblenia]

I'm the emotionally distant jerk, apparently.

[Motuka]

What makes you nervous about them?

I don't know what to do honestly. I don't want to look foolish.

This reminds me of the time I didn't want to have sex, because sex is so undignified.

(Of course, if you can retain your dignity, you're doing it wrong.)

[SaintB]

I don't see anything that suggests that. I think that, based on SaintB's account, it was a good balance.

I think that when she asked for "space" she was probably already well on her way to dating that other person on the internet, but she wasn't sure if she really wanted to end her current relationship or not. Once she had "space" she started exploring it further, until she decided it was good enough that she wanted to dump her current partner. Not a happy ending, to be sure, but this shit happens. Sometimes you care about somebody more than they care about you, and that SUCKS, but it happens.

The thing about relationships is that you can do everything right and have it still not work out. SaintB might have done everything right and still this partner would simply have wanted to go with somebody else. That sucks, and I can totally understand why some people feel like it's unfair, but relationships don't work like videogames; you can't just find the right sequence of button-pushes and be guaranteed that you'll win the game.

Well, it sounded to me like SaintB did all the compromising, all the giving up, all of the meeting of her needs, while he just sort of suffered in silence. I could very well be wrong, I only have a few paragraphs of text to go on.

And I don't really disagree with anything you said.

I know that I personally have ended relationships with people because they were willing to compromise too much, give into my whims too much. I have a forceful enough personality that I will trample all over someone if they don't stand up to me.

There were times when I needed or wanted something and they accommodated me; it is true that toward the end I was doing most of the compromising though but it was only because they worked 66 hours a week, I wouldn't be willing to compromise so much otherwise.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I'm the emotionally distant jerk, apparently.

I'm having a sense of Deja vu.

[Veblenia]

I'm the emotionally distant jerk, apparently.

I'm having a sense of Deja vu.

Must be some other emotionally distant jerk. I'd remember a woman with kitten ears.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I'm having a sense of Deja vu.

Must be some other emotionally distant jerk. I'd remember a woman with kitten ears.

My bad, I should've explained. I have heard those words, exactly, from someone else.

[Soviet Haaregrad]

I'm misanthropic, I don't have relationships.

[Bottle]

I don't see anything that suggests that. I think that, based on SaintB's account, it was a good balance.

I think that when she asked for "space" she was probably already well on her way to dating that other person on the internet, but she wasn't sure if she really wanted to end her current relationship or not. Once she had "space" she started exploring it further, until she decided it was good enough that she wanted to dump her current partner. Not a happy ending, to be sure, but this shit happens. Sometimes you care about somebody more than they care about you, and that SUCKS, but it happens.

The thing about relationships is that you can do everything right and have it still not work out. SaintB might have done everything right and still this partner would simply have wanted to go with somebody else. That sucks, and I can totally understand why some people feel like it's unfair, but relationships don't work like videogames; you can't just find the right sequence of button-pushes and be guaranteed that you'll win the game.

Well, it sounded to me like SaintB did all the compromising, all the giving up, all of the meeting of her needs, while he just sort of suffered in silence. I could very well be wrong, I only have a few paragraphs of text to go on.

And I don't really disagree with anything you said.

I know that I personally have ended relationships with people because they were willing to compromise too much, give into my whims too much. I have a forceful enough personality that I will trample all over someone if they dont stand up to me.

I guess I just don't see grounds for assuming the partner did not ever compromise. I read it as SB telling us about their side of the relationship, because that what was directly relevant here.

I, personally, only mind it if somebody compromises but secretly resents it. Some people genuinely just don't have strong preferences about a lot of things, and I've always enjoyed being friends/lovers with such personality types, because I'm picky and stubborn and territorial so it often helps smooth things out. So there you go...that other person might be doing everything "right" if they were dating you, but you'd end up breaking up with them because it's actually not right for YOU. Which is totally and completely legit, on both sides.

[Bottle]

Yeah, Americans are generally perfectly egalitarian, but the vast majority of our marriages end up in total failure. I am not saying the cause is "equal-footing", I am saying the ethical pomp of Americans in gender matters hasn't solved any problems, therefore, we aren't the people to ask about such things. Go ask someone from India or the Middle East; they can generally deal with successful long-term relationships.

I've never seen much reason to define a relationship's success based purely on how long it lasts. That seems like a particularly stupid system in our modern era, considering that most of our relationships last many times longer than relationships of the past, due merely to the fact that we live longer. "Til death do us part" used to mean about 5-10 years, max, before the wife died in childbirth or the husband died of illness or the whole family perished in a sea crossing or whatever.

[Northwest Slobovia]

I've never seen much reason to define a relationship's success based purely on how long it lasts.

Um, 'cause when you have a good thing going, you stick with it? I certainly agree that it's not the only measure of relationship success -- there are long unhappy marriages -- but since bad relationships tend to collapse before good ones, it's not a bad measure of success.

That seems like a particularly stupid system in our modern era, considering that most of our relationships last many times longer than relationships of the past, due merely to the fact that we live longer. "Til death do us part" used to mean about 5-10 years, max, before the wife died in childbirth or the husband died of illness or the whole family perished in a sea crossing or whatever.

And, so long relationships are undesirable? That people in the bad old days couldn't have something doesn't mean we shouldn't? Reasoning along the lines of "we didn't evolve to have long relationships" or similar is no better, since that's also true of bright, artificial light; contraception; or rapid electronic communications with groups of random strangers.

(The "5-10 years max" bit is also simply wrong. Shorter on average yes, but shorter average life expectancy did not mean nobody lived as long as we do. But this is a quibble.)

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I've never seen much reason to define a relationship's success based purely on how long it lasts.

Um, 'cause when you have a good thing going, you stick with it? I certainly agree that it's not the only measure of relationship success -- there are long unhappy marriages -- but since bad relationships tend to collapse before good ones, it's not a bad measure of success.

Bad and long marriages? Indeed. My grandparents stayed together, even after hating each other, just so my mom would grow up with both her parents together. They hurt each other immensely, and my mom too, because she grew up in a home where her parents didn't love each other.

A divorce would've been better, IMO. That way, they could've been happy, even if with other people. I think that would've been better for my mom too. She still believes this.

In fact, after almost 40 years of marriage, they ended up divorcing.

I think the best thing in a marriage is for the couple to love each other. And if they have kids, the best gift they can give them is to show love for each other too. If the love isn't there, separating is, although sad at first, probably the best option.

[Geniasis]

I won't even ask. <.<

I will not even answer

What, everyone else can make obscure music references, but suddenly Geniasis does it and it's all weird and shit?

Thanks, guys.

<angst>

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I will not even answer

What, everyone else can make obscure music references, but suddenly Geniasis does it and it's all weird and shit?

Thanks, guys.

<angst>

Your weirdness makes you so so sexy. That's why I was unable to comment.

[SaintB]

I think honestly, I am a lot better at 'the courting process' part, flirting, dating, fooling around, etc. than I am at the whole relationship part.