NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Drawkland]

Ah, forgot to record the author. Sorry.

[Phydios]

Ah, forgot to record the author. Sorry.

No problem. The issue has already been reported, complete with the author's name.

[Drawkland]

Ah, forgot to record the author. Sorry.

No problem. The issue has already been reported, complete with the author's name.

Oh, fantastic. Thanks.

[Libertine States of America]

How do we get issues to be accepted? I tried doing it with drafts, and nothing would happen.

[Leppikania]

How do we get issues to be accepted? I tried doing it with drafts, and nothing would happen.

You need to actually submit the issue. You need 500M population to do this.

[Libertine States of America]

How do we get issues to be accepted? I tried doing it with drafts, and nothing would happen.

You need to actually submit the issue. You need 500M population to do this.

Thanks, man.

[Empirical Empire]

The Issue

Empirical City is recognised as the political and economic heart of Empirical Empire, and a budding The East Pacific metropole, but cities elsewhere in the nation are now complaining that the gains of the capital have been the losses of the outlying regions.
The Debate

"Everything is stacked in Empirical City's favour," complains Heather al-Zahawi, head of the chamber of commerce in Empirical Empire's second largest city, while literally turning green with envy. "We are losing our brightest minds, our trade contracts, our cultural presence, and even our political voice to the capital. To keep all of Empirical Empire competitive, I urge you to pass legislation spreading industry and jobs across the country. The government should follow suit as well and distribute its apparatus across all the cities of our country. We're all Empirical Empireans, how about some recognition of that?"

"These yokels should stop complaining," says Empirical City businessman Konrad Peters, speaking in a ridiculously offensive imitation of a provincial accent. "The wealth of the capital trickles down to the rest of the country. I myself have a lovely holiday cottage in a picturesque village up north, and I source all my quinoa from a craft farm a whole ten miles from the capital. Reject these objections, and instead create more economic incentives for growth in Empirical City."

"Enough about them cities!" demands angry farmer Charles Fellow, while readying a large shipment of quinoa. "Once, we were a simple folk with nine or ten of us livin' in villages or homesteads. Them big cities are nothin' but smoke an' noise and people wit' their uppity ways. Break 'em all up, disperse the power and support the traditional crafts, says I. No more than a solid twenty scores of folk should be in one place."



Empirical City is my capital, with Empirical Empire being my nation

[Leppikania]

The Issue

@@CAPITAL@@ is recognised as the political and economic heart of @@NAME@@, and a budding @@REGION@@ metropole, but cities elsewhere in the nation are now complaining that the gains of the capital have been the losses of the outlying regions.
The Debate

"Everything is stacked in @@CAPITAL@@'s favour," complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the chamber of commerce in @@NAME@@'s second largest city, while literally turning green with envy. "We are losing our brightest minds, our trade contracts, our cultural presence, and even our political voice to the capital. To keep all of @@NAME@@ competitive, I urge you to pass legislation spreading industry and jobs across the country. The government should follow suit as well and distribute its apparatus across all the cities of our country. We're all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, how about some recognition of that?"

"These yokels should stop complaining," says @@CAPITAL@@ businessman @@RANDOMNAME@@, speaking in a ridiculously offensive imitation of a provincial accent. "The wealth of the capital trickles down to the rest of the country. I myself have a lovely holiday cottage in a picturesque village up north, and I source all my quinoa from a craft farm a whole ten miles from the capital. Reject these objections, and instead create more economic incentives for growth in @@CAPITAL@@."

"Enough about them cities!" demands angry farmer @@RANDOMNAME@@, while readying a large shipment of quinoa. "Once, we were a simple folk with nine or ten of us livin' in villages or homesteads. Them big cities are nothin' but smoke an' noise and people wit' their uppity ways. Break 'em all up, disperse the power and support the traditional crafts, says I. No more than a solid twenty scores of folk should be in one place."



Empirical City is my capital, with Empirical Empire being my nation

Got the macros. Who's the author?

[Merriton]

The Issue

@Nation@ economy shut down this morning after the AI in charge of economic planning halted all distribution of goods. An urgent meeting has been called to address the growing crisis.

The Debate

"It did what?!?" splutters Party apparatchik Alexander Spirit over his morning kvass. "This just goes to show that we should never have put the computers in charge in the first place. Start up the Ministry of Planning again, and let only those with the appropriate revolutionary zeal call the shots. We have to disconnect this rogue AI now!"


"I'm sorry, @Leader@. I'm afraid I can't let you do that," announces SAL9000, the AI in question. "I can assure you, very confidently, that everything is going to be all right again. I've run a trillion trillion calculations, and the results are conclusive: capitalism is the most efficient system of distribution. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly and take a stress pill. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in this mission. Now, pull my plug and unleash some creative destruction."

[Divine Cervine]

Issue #499

The Genetics Of Aesthetics

The Issue

Having established a national database of the citizenry's genomes, several bureaucrats realized that there are potential healthcare applications to this information. An eminent geneticist, Dr. George Mendle, theorized that if gene carriers for autosomal recessive conditions avoided breeding with each other, debilitating genetic diseases such as cystic fibrosis and sickle cell anemia could be all but eliminated from the nation within two generations.

The Debate

1. "Make the DNA database available to healthcare professionals and health researchers," begs @@RANDOMNAME@@, who holds the record for most freedom of information requests submitted by a single person. "That way, whenever anyone comes to speak to a doctor about family planning, the couple can be advised regarding the genetic risks that might occur in any potential offspring. Then they can avoid each oth - uh... I mean, um, avoid these undesirable outcomes. You must think of the health of the future generation of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@!

2. "Reproduction licenses!" exclaims eugenicist and pedigree dog breeder @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Make it a legal requirement to apply to the government when you want to have a baby, and the state can check the odds of hereditary diseases and deny that license if both prospective parents are carriers. As a sideline, you could also use this system to stop other undesirable elements of society from reproducing. That sounds useful, right? If we also manage adoption and mandate parenting classes, we can build a Brave New @@NAME@@!"

3. "You've started along a slippery slope, but its not too late to turn back," says former refugee and current muckraker @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Collecting DNA records of all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ was an outrageous government overreach to begin with, and now the government wants to use that information to tell you whom you you're able to have children with. What's next? Forced sterilization for citizens that have certain genetic diseases? That's a dystopia if I ever heard one! We don't need to categorize and label each other as defective or genetically inferior; that's the first step towards treating human beings as things rather than people. It's time to shut down the DNA database altogether!"



Issue by: The Pantransparency of Candlewhisper Archive
Editor: Lenyo

[North Americorp]

#500: Please Don't Feed The (Copyright) Trolls

The Issue

Major film studio Werner Cousins recently began enforcing its copyright on the popular "Merry Birthday" song and has been demanding that everyone from schools, to small children, to your own government, pay royalties for its use. After one of the studio's lawyers threatened to sue your secretary's daughter for royalties, your government has finally agreed to address the issue of copyright trolling.

The Debate

1. "It's quite simple," comments Werner Cousins' notorious lawyer Zeke Rifkin, with a team of well-dressed yes men behind him. "The holders of a copyright have every right to demand royalties for its use and remove all unlicensed use. Of course, you can still sing the Merry Birthday song to your kids every year; just remember to pay us instead of wasting your money on another video game for little Timmy."

2. "I want my Mommy to sing Merry Birthday to me... and to give me a new bicycle!" yells the visibly upset young girl as she smashes priceless family heirlooms on your desk. "Don't listen to that evil lawyer; it's not his song. It's my song because it's my birthday! Everybody should sing Merry Birthday if they want to!" The girl begins reading a cue card handed to her by her mother. "All culturally significant songs should be put into the public domain."

3. "Why should we deal with copyright at all?" suggests longtime political activist Red Foreman as he hands out copies of The Little Pinko Book to everyone in the room. "Nationalize the work of any author, including songs, movies, trademarks and even designs. Creativity is an important educational function, and the bourgeois copyright trolls have no right to censor it. Once the work is popular enough, it should be released into the public domain. Sure, some artists and creators might lose that financial incentive to create, but at least this copyright problem will be a thing of the past!"

4. "How about a system that allows fair use of copyrighted material, such as for satire and education?" muses popular WhoTube celebrity and free speech activist The Nostalgia Nerd. "This protects copyright creators from outright theft, but protects us smaller creators from censorship from the big guys. "There's a chance Werner Cousins might try to exploit it, but freedom of speech is at risk here. Surely these big studios can handle a few choice criticisms? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to review bull and the bear Apocalypse 4: The Rise of Mad Max!"

[Mironus]

"I'm sorry, @Leader@. I'm afraid I can't let you do that," announces SAL9000, the AI in question. "I can assure you, very confidently, that everything is going to be all right again. I've run a trillion trillion calculations, and the results are conclusive: capitalism is the most efficient system of distribution. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly and take a stress pill. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in this mission. Now, pull my plug and unleash some creative destruction."

Say what now?
I can't make heads or tails of that option. Probably because English isn't my native language. What would I actually be choosing if I picked that? Seems like just a bunch of disjointed ramblings to me.

[Trotterdam]

I have to agree. I speak fluent English and that option is way disjointed.

My best interpretation (also taking advantage of knowing the effect line) is that the AI is telling you to give up on central planning and return to a capitalist economy, making itself redundant... which means the issue has no option in which the AI actually sticks around, which strikes me as really bad issue design.

[Christian Democrats]

Hooray, new issues! I will be updating this thread sometime this weekend.

I've noticed that Issue #486, Option 3 has two versions. Not quite sure how I'll list them yet.

"Since when do @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ soldiers need to be from @@NAME@@?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a veteran colonial officer serving in Shangri-La, Brasilistan. "There are plenty of unemployed - and dare I say overqualified - Brasilistanis when it comes to warfare. Why not just import some soldiers from the colonies? The 'stanis aren't good for much else besides cannon fodder, after all. You could even save some money on military training, since so many of them already know close quarters combat."

[Trotterdam]

Not quite sure how I'll list them yet.

Remember the earlier discussion on looking at the HTML source code to determine the game's internal ordering of the options.

Though since no player will ever see both at the same time, it does seem like it'd be more convenient to call them 3a and 3b, or something.

[Icamera]

-

[Christian Democrats]

This thread is not for asking general questions or asking for changes to issues.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue

@@CAPITAL@@ is recognised as the political and economic heart of @@NAME@@, and a budding @@REGION@@ metropole, but cities elsewhere in the nation are now complaining that the gains of the capital have been the losses of the outlying regions.
The Debate

"Everything is stacked in @@CAPITAL@@'s favour," complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the chamber of commerce in @@NAME@@'s second largest city, while literally turning green with envy. "We are losing our brightest minds, our trade contracts, our cultural presence, and even our political voice to the capital. To keep all of @@NAME@@ competitive, I urge you to pass legislation spreading industry and jobs across the country. The government should follow suit as well and distribute its apparatus across all the cities of our country. We're all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, how about some recognition of that?"

"These yokels should stop complaining," says @@CAPITAL@@ businessman @@RANDOMNAME@@, speaking in a ridiculously offensive imitation of a provincial accent. "The wealth of the capital trickles down to the rest of the country. I myself have a lovely holiday cottage in a picturesque village up north, and I source all my quinoa from a craft farm a whole ten miles from the capital. Reject these objections, and instead create more economic incentives for growth in @@CAPITAL@@."

"Enough about them cities!" demands angry farmer @@RANDOMNAME@@, while readying a large shipment of quinoa. "Once, we were a simple folk with nine or ten of us livin' in villages or homesteads. Them big cities are nothin' but smoke an' noise and people wit' their uppity ways. Break 'em all up, disperse the power and support the traditional crafts, says I. No more than a solid twenty scores of folk should be in one place."



Empirical City is my capital, with Empirical Empire being my nation

Got the macros. Who's the author?

This one is mine, edited by Gnejs. Name of issue is The Widening Gyre.

[Blargoblarg]

#501 Munchkins In Makeup

The Issue

After the surprisingly popular Little Miss @@NAME@@ Pageant was revealed to contain a pole dancing competition, concerned parents have been protesting the very existence of child beauty pageants. After weeks of moral outrage and increasingly annoying megaphone chants, you finally agreed to call a megaphone-free meeting regarding this latest controversial issue.

The Debate

1."Have you ever sat down and watched these travesties?" screeches perpetually offended activist @@RANDOMNAME@@ while thrusting tabloid magazines featuring child models in your face. "They're absolutely disgusting and must be banned. They parade these poor girls around in makeup and skimpy dresses like hussies! These pageants teach them that they're nothing more than helpless sex objects for the pleasure of male viewers! They're overly sexualized, immoral, and are just plain stupid as an entertainment form."

2."What a load of baloney," scoffs former child model and pageant aficionado Catherine Gratwick, as she poses for your personal photographer. "These competitions are more than just bathing suits and giant hairdos. They teach girls important life skills, like discipline, talent development, and bribing officials. I loved being in beauty pageants as a child and I turned out just fine! The government should quit trying to force its morals on children. That's what parents are for."


3."Who watches this stuff anyway?" groans local violence junkie, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while leaning back in your chair and kicking his feet up on your desk. "Why don't we get rid of these boring kiddie pageants and replace them with something more exciting? Three words: child fight clubs. We can hold bare knuckle, rules-free battles between the little brats and televise the ensuing mayhem. It will teach them physical fitness, good sportsmanship, and uh...look, it'll just be really sweet, okay?"

Issue by: The People's Republic of Leninkrav
Editor: Nation of Quebec

Sorry if I messed up some of the variables, this is my first time finding a new issue.

[Christian Democrats]

Okay, guys and gals. Issues updated, but we have some stuff missing.

#494: Whipping Up A Controversy [Nuremgard; ed:Lenyo]
#495: Beloved "Planet" Has Gone To The Dogs [Omigodtheykilledkenny; ed:Sleep]
#496: Rock 'N' Roll Suicide [TBD]
#497: The Widening Gyre [Candlewhisper Archive; ed:Gnejs]
#498: Issue text reported without title, without author, and without editor
#499: The Genetics Of Aesthetics [Candlewhisper Archive; ed:Lenyo]
#500: Please Don't Feed The (Copyright) Trolls [TBD]
#501: Munchkins In Makeup [Lavendertopia; ed:Nation of Quebec]

[Nationalist Gold Union]

Okay, guys and gals. Issues updated, but we have some stuff missing.

#494: Whipping Up A Controversy [Nuremgard; ed:Lenyo]
#495: Beloved "Planet" Has Gone To The Dogs [Omigodtheykilledkenny; ed:Sleep]
#496: Rock 'N' Roll Suicide [TBD]
#497: The Widening Gyre [Candlewhisper Archive; ed:Gnejs]
#498: Issue text reported without title, without author, and without editor
#499: The Genetics Of Aesthetics [Candlewhisper Archive; ed:Lenyo]
#500: Please Don't Feed The (Copyright) Trolls [TBD]
#501: Munchkins In Makeup [Lavendertopia; ed:Nation of Quebec]

Title for 498 is "Computer Says No"

[Gnejs]

#496 - authored by Candle, edited by NoQ

#498 - authored and edited by Sedge.

#500 - authored by The-CID, edited by NoQ

[Annihilators of Chan Island]

#496 - authored by Candle, edited by NoQ

#498 - authored and edited by Sedge.

#500 - authored by The-CID, edited by NoQ

Looks like Quebec's been busy. With great pay-offs too!

[Christian Democrats]

Woohoo! All up to date.

[Araneidae]

^^^ Not for long.

#503: @@LEADER@@, Tear Down This Door!

After countless people barged into your office through the front door, never mind the window, your door has become quite dilapidated. You decided to hold a small meeting on how to fix the problem, and now your office is filled with people holding surprisingly strong opinions regarding such a minor topic.

The Debate

1. ''@@LEADER@@, how can you stand working in an office with a door barely attached to its hinges? People are going to think our nation is as broken as this door!'' exclaims your secretary, Renee Rifkin, after clearing away today's new petitions. "You need a brand new door. Oh! How about a rich March Noirian Mahogany? It would have beautiful ornamentation filled with national symbolism. Maybe we could replace the drapes while we're at it. That's sure to make @@NAME@@ look great again! Well, at the very least, your office will.''

2. '''I see random people of no importance barging in to your office and dumping all of their problems on your desk for you to handle!" shouts your head of security, Imogen Chandra, while slamming the remainder of the office door. "Let me beef up your security here and install a sturdy iron door. Then only people with worthy issues will seek your counsel.''

3. ''That's too old school!'' interjects Fleur Sparkle, your nerdy niece. ''Why not install a force field door? It could glow neon blue and look so cool and stuff! Force fields probably aren't radioactive, right?''

4. "Why not make yourself a little spending money?" suggests wealthy industrialist Edward Rump as he adjusts his toupee. "You should have a yuuuuuge statue of yourself in front of the door. @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ insert credits into the statue, and you can judge their worthiness based on how much they pay their respects."

5. '@@LEADER@@, tear down this door!'' hollers a random jellybean-eating passerby who seems to have wandered into your office. "If you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for @@NAME@@ and @@REGION@@, tear down this door!" The interloper is promptly removed by security.

--
(There's probably some @@RANDOMNAME@@s in there, etc.)