NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Trotterdam]

It's not a matter of validity, it's just an option that has only been recently added.

Based on the effect line "the state believes that nature-oriented summer camps will somehow solve youth crime", I suspect it may not work that well.

[Argentine-Colombia]

Wow.

[Bears Armed Mission]

Based on the effect line "the state believes that nature-oriented summer camps will somehow solve youth crime", I suspect it may not work that well.

Sounds like something the Bears would try, though...
Haven't had that issue for quiet a while with either this nation or Bears Armed proper, as far as I can recall: Wonder whether I still qualify for it?

[Christian Democrats]

The listing for issue #109 (Karate Kids Cause Controversy) is missing the fourth option:

"Discipline? Oh heavens no, our lives are already too restricted by the iron cage of rules and policing," says unorthodox youth pastor George W. Goethe, seen weaving a basket from blades of grass. "Our young people need to reconnect with the spirit within, and the best way to do that is to be one with nature and appreciate the bounty all around us. Redirect some of those police funds to my summer camps, and then youths can learn how to live freely and simply by crafting their own supplies from scratch."

...actually, I don't remember seeing that choice before. Even though I've seen the issue itself numerous times by now.

I have appended the new fourth option.

[The Bloody Lamb]

Hello, I received issue #488 and I don't find it here, so I post it:

Issue #488: Bright Orange Is The New Black

The Issue
A misunderstanding involving a 12 year old boy, a plastic toy gun, and 5 heavily armed police officers has resulted in substantial public uproar. The major news networks are having a field day over-analyzing the manufacturing and selling of bright orange sci-fi inspired toy guns for children.

The Debate
"We're raising a generation of natural born killers!" writes left-wing mommy-blogger Gretel Song in her latest Barryblog post. "Next thing you know, they'll want to play with real guns! When will it end? Remember, people don't kill people, guns do! Even toy guns! We need to get anything that even remotely resembles a gun off the market!"

"Hey! That's our jobs you're talking about!" bemoans Jean-Paul Anderson the CEO of Big Toys Inc. between puffs of his comically large cigar. "Banning our most popular toy lines would seriously damage our industry. I'd say the best way to handle this situation is a healthy corporate tax break. If we paid less taxes, we could up production and flood the market with so many toy guns that no kid would even want one! Then we sell them something better," he says, letting out a long eerie laugh as cigar smoke fills the room.

"Y'all gotta be kiddin' me," grumbles local gun enthusiast, Howard Summers before spitting into a tin can near the doorway. "Plastic toy rayguns ain't doin' nobody no harm. When I was li'l we played with BB guns all th' dad-gum time! Y'all wanna ban toy guns? Shoot, we should giv'em real guns! Make it legal, n' all. I bet it'd even lower crime rates! Who’d wanna rob a house knowing little Tommy has a 9 mil?"

Issue by: The Federative Orvəić States of Orvius
Editor: Sleep

[Drachmaland]

Issue #485: Really Real eSports Tournament

The Issue

After it was reported that the latest Maxemon eSports Tournament brought millions to the economy, gamers and industry representatives alike have called for the government to take eSports seriously.

The Debate

1. "eSports are just as popular as real sports, if not more," says top-tier player @@RANDOMNAME@@, seen wearing a Barrychu t-shirt. "If one tournament can generate that much money, imagine how much more year round tourneys will bring! I'll have you know that eSports require just as much skill and talent as so-called real-life ones. Our organizations have everything the professional sporting organizations have: drama, sweat, gambling, corrup-, err, competition. eSports are the future, and with some nice government grants we can really propel the industry forward."

2. "Sponsoring teams is all well and good, but what about those of us who design these games?" queries legendary video game designer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "eSports wouldn't exist if it weren't for the designers who pour their blood, sweat, and financial resources into these games. With government subsidies, @@NAME@@ can become a mecca for game developers. We should be fostering creativity so we can create better games that those angry WhoTube nerds won't be able to pick apart."

3. "This is ridiculous," scoffs professional football player @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, as he tosses a football to your unsuspecting aides, causing them to break a priceless vase. "These so-called eSports are nothing more than a bunch of nerds pressing buttons on controllers. I'd hardly call that a sport, more like a waste of time. Real men play football, hockey, and cricket. Our sports are a billion @@CURRENCY@@ industry. You'd be better off banning these mindless games and promoting real sports, and athletes, to @@NAME@@'s youth."

4. "You'd be surprised by how realistic these games are," comments your retired Defense Minister @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, while building a virtual army on her Nintensoft MX. "Games like Guilds of Battle III: The Nightmare of Shadow Ops Faction are shockingly similar to our military operations. If these youngsters want to shoot up some terrorists in cyberspace, perhaps we should draft them into the military and let them shoot our enemies IRL, as they would say. At the very least they'd be great pilots for our drone program!"

Issue by: The Federal Republic of Mexicaliforia
Editor: Nation of Quebec

[Pterodoria]

Issue #485: Really Real eSports Tournament

The Issue

After it was reported that the latest Maxemon eSports Tournament brought millions to the economy, gamers and industry representatives alike have called for the government to take eSports seriously.

The Debate

1. "eSports are just as popular as real sports, if not more," says top-tier player @@RANDOMNAME@@, seen wearing a Barrychu t-shirt. "If one tournament can generate that much money, imagine how much more year round tourneys will bring! I'll have you know that eSports require just as much skill and talent as so-called real-life ones. Our organizations have everything the professional sporting organizations have: drama, sweat, gambling, corrup-, err, competition. eSports are the future, and with some nice government grants we can really propel the industry forward."

2. "Sponsoring teams is all well and good, but what about those of us who design these games?" queries legendary video game designer Don Laine. "eSports wouldn't exist if it weren't for the designers who pour their blood, sweat, and financial resources into these games. With government subsidies, @@NAME@@ can become a mecca for game developers. We should be fostering creativity so we can create better games that those angry WhoTube nerds won't be able to pick apart."

3. "This is ridiculous," scoffs professional football player @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, as he tosses a football to your unsuspecting aides, causing them to break a priceless vase. "These so-called eSports are nothing more than a bunch of nerds pressing buttons on controllers. I'd hardly call that a sport, more like a waste of time. Real men play football, hockey, and cricket. Our sports are a billion @@CURRENCY@@ industry. You'd be better off banning these mindless games and promoting real sports, and athletes, to @@NAME@@'s youth."

4. "You'd be surprised by how realistic these games are," comments your retired Defense Minister @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, while building a virtual army on her Nintensoft MX. "Games like Guilds of Battle III: The Nightmare of Shadow Ops Faction are shockingly similar to our military operations. If these youngsters want to shoot up some terrorists in cyberspace, perhaps we should draft them into the military and let them shoot our enemies IRL, as they would say. At the very least they'd be great pilots for our drone program!"

Issue by: The Federal Republic of Mexicaliforia
Editor: Nation of Quebec

Interesting... it seems you don't receive option 4 if you don't have a military.

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

1. @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, your Minister for Creative Solutions, explains her position.

I got a man's name and "explains their position."

[The Bloody Lamb]

Issue #486: An Impressing Dilemma

With reports of national enlistment rates decreasing, some concerned citizens have come to your office to offer their own various solutions.

The Debate
Captain @@RANDOMNAME@@, on shore leave after a tenth tour of service, has an idea. "The truth is that we just aren't getting enough volunteers for the armed forces, so we should, ahem, encourage people to volunteer. If everyone that enlisted were promised free alcoholic drinks as long as they served, then you'd see more people show up to our recruitment events. Then once they're good and drunk we can ship them off to a military base to start a new life. By the time they realize they've signed up for a five year tour of duty, they'll have no choice but to be good and loyal conscri - er, volunteers."

"You want the army to foot the bill for keggers and then kidnap people?" questions @@RANDOMNAME@@, an army medic in training. "There's a much better way to encourage enlistment rather than getting people blackout drunk. A portion of the military budget could be devoted to educating prospective soldiers and officers who promise to serve for, say, six years. Then the armed forces will have more qualified staff, and poor people will have a way to go to college. @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ will love it."

"Since when do @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ soldiers need to be from The Bloody Lamb?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a headhunter who just arrived home from a business trip. "There are plenty of unemployed - and dare I say overqualified - Brasilistanis when it comes to warfare. Why not just import some mercenaries from abroad? It's not the patriotic thing to do, but as long as they can get the job done, who cares? You could even save some money on military training, since so many of them already know close quarters combat."

"Or we could completely regear our population for total war and utopian health," says @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ @@CAPITAL@@, your Minister of Alternative Solutions. "Vat technology and intensive psychological conditioning can promise a wonderful future devoid of weaklings who are vulnerable to disease. With enough government investment, I can promise a new generation of fearless, asexual grunts eager to die for the glory of Nick."


Issue by: The United States of Araluen and Eyreland
Editor: Lenyo

[Trotterdam]

Wow. Four new issues get added to the game at the same time and immediately there are threads asking for help on three of them.

Y'all've still gotta post the last one

[Drachmaland]

Issue #477 has been added.

Issue #477 has a 4th option:

4. "Here we go with the food police again," sighs Burger Queen CEO @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ as he chows down on a double bacon cheeseburger. "How about you health nuts stop telling me what food I can put in my body? These kids are perfectly capable of making their own choices. If they would rather enjoy one of our delicious burgers instead of some gross salad then who are we to stop them? Sure, they'll probably have a heart attack or two by the time they're my age, but it's better to die fat and free than old and controlled!"

[Nation of Quebec]

Just want to clarify that the character in #466 is named Jacques Strap, not a random name.

[Christian Democrats]

I've added Issues #485, #486, and #488. We're looking for #487, guys.

A few questions
Issue #485, Option 1 -- What is a Barrychu?

Issue #485, Option 2 -- Is the name supposed to be "Don Laine" or a random name?

Issue #486, Option 4 -- Who in the world is @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ @@CAPITAL@@?

Issue #486, Option 4 -- Glory of Nick? Who's Nick?

Issue #488, Option 1 -- What is a Barryblog?

1. @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, your Minister for Creative Solutions, explains her position.

I got a man's name and "explains their position."

I've made the change; but I must register my disapproval of the new, inappropriate use of their. Unless the Minister of Creative Solutions is a monarch, it makes no sense to use the plural. Even then, I've never been a fan of the royal plural.

Issue #477 has been added.

Issue #477 has a 4th option:

4. "Here we go with the food police again," sighs Burger Queen CEO @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ as he chows down on a double bacon cheeseburger. "How about you health nuts stop telling me what food I can put in my body? These kids are perfectly capable of making their own choices. If they would rather enjoy one of our delicious burgers instead of some gross salad then who are we to stop them? Sure, they'll probably have a heart attack or two by the time they're my age, but it's better to die fat and free than old and controlled!"

New option added.

Just want to clarify that the character in #466 is named Jacques Strap, not a random name.

Which @@RANDOMNAME@@? In Issue #466, the main character is Mike Ronation.

[Trotterdam]

Issue #485, Option 1 -- What is a Barrychu?

Probably a pun on some-or-other video game character. Pikachu is likely.

Issue #486, Option 4 -- Who in the world is @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ @@CAPITAL@@?

Probably wrong. I can't tell you what the correct version is, though.

Issue #486, Option 4 -- Glory of Nick? Who's Nick?

Nick should be @@LEADER@@. You can tell if you look at the nation who posted it.

Issue #488, Option 1 -- What is a Barryblog?

A fictional blogging website, obviously.

You can reasonably assume that anything with "Barry" in it is a reference to Max Barry.

[Phydios]

I've made the change; but I must register my disapproval of the new, inappropriate use of their. Unless the Minister of Creative Solutions is a monarch, it makes no sense to use the plural. Even then, I've never been a fan of the royal plural.

No, no, no. This is neither a new nor an inappropriate use of the word. The singular they has been in common use since at least the 14th century. (Chaucer used it in The Pardoner's Prologue, written in 1395.) The idea that it was inappropriate didn't come up until the end of the 19th century. Dislike it if you wish, but don't call it new.

[Drachmaland]

A few questions
Issue #485, Option 2 -- Is the name supposed to be "Don Laine" or a random name?

You are right, I missed that one — it should be simply @@RANDOMNAME@@.

A few questions
Issue #486, Option 4 -- Who in the world is @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ @@CAPITAL@@?

My data show it must be just @@RANDOMNAME@@.

I've made the change; but I must register my disapproval of the new, inappropriate use of their. Unless the Minister of Creative Solutions is a monarch, it makes no sense to use the plural. Even then, I've never been a fan of the royal plural.

No, no, no. This is neither a new nor an inappropriate use of the word. The singular they has been in common use since at least the 14th century. (Chaucer used it in The Pardoner's Prologue, written in 1395.) The idea that it was inappropriate didn't come up until the end of the 19th century. Dislike it if you wish, but don't call it new.

+1

[Nation of Quebec]

Issue #485, Option 1 -- What is a Barrychu?

A Barrychu is a "Maxemon", which is obviously a parody of Pokemon. Barrychu = (Max) Barry + Pikachu.

Which @@RANDOMNAME@@? In Issue #466, the main character is Mike Ronation.

Jaques Strap is the character in option #4.

[Flying Fortresses]

Issue #487: Masks Of Shame

The Issue

After a young woman died of suffocation while wearing a traditional 'Mask of Shame' - an archaic custom exclusive to rural areas of Southern Flying Fortresses - several civil rights groups have called on the government to intervene and outlaw this cultural practice aimed at humiliating those who transgress social norms.

The Debate

"She was only sixteen," growls self-proclaimed humanitarian Barack McGuffin in a strong accent distinct to the East End of Lastors. "These backwoods nut-cases have been humiliating people, especially young women, for centuries. Merely being accused of scolding or wearing the wrong shirt can buy you a week in the mask. They even come with a studded gag to keep you from speaking. Not many people know that. This horrendous practice must be outlawed, and we should start a thorough re-education program to stomp out all their medieval ways."

"This was just a tragic mishap; the masks are harmless," scoffs local mask shop owner Dave Shiomi, while trying on a pig-devil mask, distorting his voice into a high-pitched whistle. "In fact, why don't you deepen our traditions? Unchecked degenerates tear asunder the social fabric and must be punished. While we have prison for the hardened criminals, I propose that we impose the 'Mask of Shame' as a valid form of punishment nationwide for gossipers, adulterers and other derelicts."

Noted historian and decentralization advocate Fleur Khan has another idea. "These masks might be unorthodox, but the real problem here is our official penal system. Incarcerating people in tiny spaces, regulating every minute of their day and every inch of their life, completely isolating them from society; talk about cruel and unusual punishment! These masks, and other forms of 'public shaming', on the other hand, are a time-tested practice for bringing about social cohesion within communities. I say it's time government bureaucrats and populist politicians stop forcing their Lastors morality from above. Abolish the entire penal system and make 'community shaming' the official tool for enforcing justice."

Issue by: The Very Confident Teenagers of Ayzifa
Editor: Gnejs

[The Bloody Lamb]

A few questions
Issue #486, Option 4 -- Who in the world is @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ @@CAPITAL@@?

The "Minister of Alternative Solutions" in that issue, whose name appeared with a male name (that I can't remember) and a surname that turned out to be my nation's capital, so I assumed that his surname was taken from it.

Issue #486, Option 4 -- Glory of Nick? Who's Nick?

The current name for my nation's leader. I forgot to change that one.

[Christian Democrats]

Issue #486, Option 4 -- Glory of Nick? Who's Nick?

Nick should be @@LEADER@@. You can tell if you look at the nation who posted it.

Ah, thank you. Fixed.

You can reasonably assume that anything with "Barry" in it is a reference to Max Barry.

*facepalm* Of course.

I've made the change; but I must register my disapproval of the new, inappropriate use of their. Unless the Minister of Creative Solutions is a monarch, it makes no sense to use the plural. Even then, I've never been a fan of the royal plural.

No, no, no. This is neither a new nor an inappropriate use of the word. The singular they has been in common use since at least the 14th century. (Chaucer used it in The Pardoner's Prologue, written in 1395.) The idea that it was inappropriate didn't come up until the end of the 19th century. Dislike it if you wish, but don't call it new.

I should clarify. When I said "new," I was talking about the editors' decision to change "her" to "their" (i.e., the old version of the issue used "her" while the new version uses "their"). I was and am well aware that "their" has been used in the singular -- inappropriately I would add -- for several centuries. The "generic he" dates back to Middle English and, in an extended sense, even to Old English, when the words for he, she, and we were he, heo, and hie. In unknown cases, he could mean a he or a heo.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/heo#Old_English

A few questions
Issue #485, Option 2 -- Is the name supposed to be "Don Laine" or a random name?

You are right, I missed that one — it should be simply @@RANDOMNAME@@.

Fixed.

A few questions
Issue #486, Option 4 -- Who in the world is @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ @@CAPITAL@@?

My data show it must be just @@RANDOMNAME@@.

That's what I thought since random names often pull from the custom fields.

Which @@RANDOMNAME@@? In Issue #466, the main character is Mike Ronation.

Jaques Strap is the character in option #4.

Ah, okay. Fixed.

Issue #487: Masks Of Shame

The Issue

After a young woman died of suffocation while wearing a traditional 'Mask of Shame' - an archaic custom exclusive to rural areas of Southern Flying Fortresses - several civil rights groups have called on the government to intervene and outlaw this cultural practice aimed at humiliating those who transgress social norms.

The Debate

"She was only sixteen," growls self-proclaimed humanitarian Barack McGuffin in a strong accent distinct to the East End of Lastors. "These backwoods nut-cases have been humiliating people, especially young women, for centuries. Merely being accused of scolding or wearing the wrong shirt can buy you a week in the mask. They even come with a studded gag to keep you from speaking. Not many people know that. This horrendous practice must be outlawed, and we should start a thorough re-education program to stomp out all their medieval ways."

"This was just a tragic mishap; the masks are harmless," scoffs local mask shop owner Dave Shiomi, while trying on a pig-devil mask, distorting his voice into a high-pitched whistle. "In fact, why don't you deepen our traditions? Unchecked degenerates tear asunder the social fabric and must be punished. While we have prison for the hardened criminals, I propose that we impose the 'Mask of Shame' as a valid form of punishment nationwide for gossipers, adulterers and other derelicts."

Noted historian and decentralization advocate Fleur Khan has another idea. "These masks might be unorthodox, but the real problem here is our official penal system. Incarcerating people in tiny spaces, regulating every minute of their day and every inch of their life, completely isolating them from society; talk about cruel and unusual punishment! These masks, and other forms of 'public shaming', on the other hand, are a time-tested practice for bringing about social cohesion within communities. I say it's time government bureaucrats and populist politicians stop forcing their Lastors morality from above. Abolish the entire penal system and make 'community shaming' the official tool for enforcing justice."

Issue by: The Very Confident Teenagers of Ayzifa
Editor: Gnejs

A very intriguing issue. Added. I think the editors should have made "pig-devil mask" say "@@ANIMAL@@-devil mask" though.

[Dunraven]

Issue #485: Really Real eSports Tournament

After it was reported that the latest Maxemon eSports Tournament brought millions to the economy, gamers and industry representatives alike have called for the government to take eSports seriously.

Ah, just got this one.
...which is kind of odd because this nation has banned computers. What are they playing it on, abacuses?

[Bears Armed Mission]

Issue #485: Really Real eSports Tournament

After it was reported that the latest Maxemon eSports Tournament brought millions to the economy, gamers and industry representatives alike have called for the government to take eSports seriously.

Ah, just got this one.
...which is kind of odd because this nation has banned computers. What are they playing it on, abacuses?

Maybeso the wording of your laws means that dedicated gaming consoles, which can't be programmed & used for any other role by their users, don't count as 'computers'?

[Nation of Quebec]

Ah, just got this one.
...which is kind of odd because this nation has banned computers. What are they playing it on, abacuses?

Maybeso the wording of your laws means that dedicated gaming consoles, which can't be programmed & used for any other role by their users, don't count as 'computers'?

Exactly. PC gaming isn't the only gaming. You can still have gaming on video game consoles and phones, which banning computers doesn't impact.

[Trotterdam]

Gaming consoles could be programmed to do rather computer-like stuff if you wanted to, though. They have the hardware for it. Just usually nobody bothers because real computers do it better.

Either way, you need computers to program your console games, so if you don't have those then all your video games would need to be imported from other countries that use manufacturing processes that you've outlawed.

[Drachmaland]

Admittedly it's a thin line and actually a matter of definition here; i.e. what the Issues Team selects to be included in the banned item list — and what not. E.g. option 317.3 would lead to abolishing all computer-machines and all phones and even faxes (and in the name of God, that is) — and leave gaming consoles be (which could easily be accused for worse by the same Amish advocate), just because they're not explicitly mentioned?