I didn't edit out some of the names and stuff, because I don't know if they are random.
The Issue
You’ve just returned from a pleasant “diplomatic summit” on the tropical island nation of East Calypso. As your plane approaches @@CAPITAL@@ Airport, bright sunlight glimmers upon the foreign names and insignia on a variety of parked aircraft. Eventually, you see a few shabby tail fins with the Air @@NAME@@ logo. The woeful assortment of filthy fuselages and peeling paint barely looks airworthy. Is the national airline truly that pathetic?
The Debate
While waiting for the airplane to reach the gate, you receive a call from Bryan Ringham, a management consultant and frequent flier. He doesn’t waste time with chitchat. “Did you know that overhead at Air @@NAME@@ has seen a 380% increase over the last ten years? You won’t be competitive with numbers like that. You need to start charging passengers for all the services that are being given away for free, such as seat reservations, checked bags, and clean drinking water. We can have a nice, lucrative budget airline here – and maybe even create some revenue for the national coffers!”
As you disembark and enter the airport, you run into a group of flight attendants who are wearing the national airline’s uniform and carrying protest signs. Their leader approaches you. “Your Excellency! Our working conditions are appalling. Air @@NAME@@ will never be able to improve if we’re all working sixty hours a week for the industry’s worst wages. Anyone who can get a better job with one of the foreign competitors like Maxay Pacific or Althaniq Airways has already left. Decreased hours and improved pay would do wonders for morale – meaning that we could serve the passengers better, of course.”
Following this confrontation, your security detail ushers you through an employee break area to bypass the crowds. However, you are soon ambushed by airline manager Guinan Aileron, who appears to have packed her lunch in an airsickness bag. “Why don’t we just ban all the foreign airlines?” she declares, while still chewing her food. “All of these outsiders are taking our people’s money and sending it to our enemies! A true patriot only flies Air @@NAME@@, no matter how lousy the service is or how many times we skip routine maintenance – er, I mean, skip the needless luxuries. Without any foreign competition, we could keep every last pound within our borders.”
Later, FlyerChat forum moderator ‘Queen of the Skies’ sends you a private message. “Air @@NAME@@ has nothing but disregard for its loyal passengers. First of all, the Glorious People’s Victory Points are useless. My most recent valuation puts them at only one-thousandth of a pound. Award availability is terrible, even with zirconium status. And don’t get me started on the atrocious brand of caviar they serve in First Among Equals class! This needs to be an airline that cares about its passengers, even if that requires huge government subsidies to bring it up to par. The first order of business is to change the points redemption ratios to – hold on, I’ve got another troll who keeps calling us a bunch of nerds. Let the banning commence!”
Issue by The Holy Empire of Pogaria
Edited by Pogaria
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