NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Aculea]

#467 Saving Your Own Foreskin

I've received #467 twice and both times the second (Jewish) petitioner was Ariel Goldberg.

[Christian Democrats]

#467 Saving Your Own Foreskin

I've received #467 twice and both times the second (Jewish) petitioner was Ariel Goldberg.

Yeah, that's not a random name, so I've made the appropriate edit.

[Convergea]

Munchie is my animal.


The Munchie Republic Shall Rise Again?

The Issue

A coalition of civil rights activists and minority interest groups from all across Northern Convergea have renewed their calls for the regional government to stop displaying the flag of the now-defunct Munchie Republic, a short-lived former breakaway nation known for its backward racial policies. The issue has divided the area for years, and with tensions running extra high, you have been asked to help settle the dispute once and for all.

The Debate

"It's unconscionable that politicians still defend flying such a repulsive racist symbol on government property!" declares Britney Wilson, a civil rights activist sporting colorful Tasmanian tribal attire - despite recent public revelations that she in fact has no Tasmanian ancestry whatsoever. "That flag has only ever been used to heighten racial divisions in this country; we must ban the display of the Munchie Republic flag in any official capacity!"

"Bah!" scoffs Jamil Utopia, a local politician and passionate reenactor, while waving a miniature Munchie Republic flag. "This flag never hurt anyone! If you ask me, it's political correctness that's the real problem. Stores are pulling the flag off their shelves, and TV stations are refusing to run old shows and movies that feature it, for Violet's sake! The government should be pushing back against all this nonsense and start teaching Convergean schoolchildren all the good things about that chapter of our history: the cultural pride felt by its citizens, the bravery and patriotism of its leaders! Those are values that never go out of style."

"I agree that the flag is harmful and should not be used, in any capacity," predictably declares Colleen de Castro, president of the advocacy group 'Peaceful Resistance against Injurious Speech and Slanderous Yabber'. "But why stop there? What about ugly racial and ethnic slurs? Words hurt people a lot more than some silly relic, you know. Words like, 'hoopster'...'ringnose'...'Biggie Snarls'...oh sorry, is repeating all these epithets making people uncomfortable? Er, anyway, we can't tolerate the use of such awful language, and we should start fining people for hate speech, like they already do in many progressive countries."

"If y'all were to ask me, I'd say we were better off during the Munchie Republic," says Faith de Groot, a local yokel of indeterminate age. "Back then us normal folks could go about using our own schools and buses without having to mix and mingle with those weird whatchamacallem's. Xu Munchie, I'll be both frank and earnest, I don't give a hoot what flag y'all run up those poles of yours; just give me back my damned water fountain privileges!"

Issue by: The Festive Pyromaniacs of Omigodtheykilledkenny
Editor: Gnejs

[Mediobogdum II]

Munchie is my animal.
The Munchie Republic Shall Rise Again?

Sorry, Convergea, but this has already been reported on as Issue #464. Before posting what you think may be a new issue, it is essential to check the master list of issue titles on this **SPOILER ALERT** thread. I know it's exciting to think you are the first to report a new issue but, just take that extra few seconds to make sure it is really new.

[Sleep]

The Issue:
The latest episode of celebrity chef Ramsey Oliver's massively popular television show "Lunch Box Revolution" has exposed the unhealthy junk food served in elementary and high schools, putting your government under pressure to act on childhood obesity.

The Debate:

"We all know what the problem is, so why isn't the government doing a #$%! thing about it?" decries Oliver from your TV screen. "We need to stop feeding our children junk food, like those $%#&! chicken chizzlers. Maybe the government can't control what they have at home, but they can give them proper meals for school lunches. Force the schools to serve only nutritious meals and ban junk food from being sold in schools. It's a !%&$# no-brainer! The $#%!@ soda industry might not like it, but they can go suck a lemon."

"Who says you can't control what kids eat at home?" comments @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, one of your golf buddies, as he practices his swings. "You'd make it easier on parents if you mandated an official meal plan for children across @@NAME@@. I know I'd be much happier if a professional was preparing my kids' meals. Have you ever tasted my wife's cooking? Think about it. Hmm, that's probably a 7 iron shot from here."

"Healthy food and meal plans aren't the answer," objects soccer mom and former Olympic athlete @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, proudly displaying her gold medals. "The problem is that our glutinous hellspawn don't get off their lazy butts to exercise. We need more PE classes! Mandatory athletic training! More funding for after school activities! If we educate parents and children about good health and exercise, then they will get healthier and stay healthier. Not to mention they'll be the strongest and fastest in all of @@REGION@@!"

Issue by: The Borderlands of Sleep
Editor: Nation of Quebec

Yay! my second issue is ALIIIIIVVE!! Thanks NoQ!

[Trotterdam]

"We all know what the problem is, so why isn't the government doing a #$%! thing about it?" decries Oliver from your TV screen. "We need to stop feeding our children junk food, like those $%#&! chicken chizzlers. Maybe the government can't control what they have at home, but they can give them proper meals for school lunches. Force the schools to serve only nutritious meals and ban junk food from being sold in schools. It's a !%&$# no-brainer! The $#%!@ soda industry might not like it, but they can go suck a lemon."

You can really tell how this guy has the best interests of your nation's children at heart by his usage of such child-unfriendly language.

Well, theoretical usage.

"You'd make it easier on parents if you mandated an official meal plan for children across Sleep."

You missed a macro here.

[Christian Democrats]

Issue #477 has been added.

[Barbarossistan]

just got #478: the show must go on

[Phydios]

just got #478: the show must go on

Would you please post the entire text of the issue here? Description, all options, issue writer, and issue editor. The issue writer and editor are listed in small print at the bottom right of the page.

[Aculea]

478 The Show Must Go On

The Issue

Fewer and fewer people attend the @@CAPITAL@@ Opera House, largely because the younger generation and the common man consider the shows archaic and boring. The once packed auditorium now struggles to fill seats, and it is nowhere near turning a profit. Without help, the @@CAPITAL@@ Opera House is likely to close its doors.

The Debate

"Empty spaces, what are we living for? Abandoned places, I guess we know the score," melodramatically declares singer-songwriter Teddie Hercules. "If @@NATION@@ loses opera, then we lose the very soul of our culture. Some things are bigger than money, and I'm not just talking about the leading tenor's waistline. I insist that we establish a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Arts Council to fund the opera and ensure that talented mezzos and baritones can survive, no matter the cost. The show must go on, go on..."

"No problem, I can Handel the funding for you," suggests TV-producer Chris Sanchez, while spreading out before you possible contracts for various TV programs. "Here are ideas for live elimination shows, dating shows, and celebrity-studded musicals to take place in that lovely building downtown. I've got a vision of big money, big drama, big entertainment, big merchandise, and big ratings: I call it Bopera. It's a big yes from me. Give my venture cultural-exemption tax status, and I'll keep the opera house's doors open."

"Waste of good land," succinctly concludes property developer Randy Wilson. "This is prime city centre real estate that could be upscale housing and a parking lot. I mean, what would you rather do: sit through six hours of fat people in ridiculous viking helmets singing in a language you don't understand, or cut time off your commute to work?"

Issue by: The Community of Candlewhisper Archive
Editor: Lenyo

[Christian Democrats]

Added. It appears that there are more RANDOMNAMEs as well.

[Drachmaland]

479 @@LEADER@@, Put On The Yellow Light

The Issue

While heading to your office in @@CAPITAL@@, you suddenly find yourself caught in a massive rally staged by angry taxi drivers protesting Fubar, a popular ridesharing service. As the demonstration blocks off all nearby streets, you are forced to hear the drivers' respective demands.

The Debate

1."Fubar is destroying our business!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@ while trying to offer you a ride. "They charge cheap fares only because they don't have to pay for registration, special number plates, and occupational insurance. That's unfair. Fubar is dangerously unregulated. They don't even perform background checks on their drivers! Do you really want these potentially dangerous drivers, who have no knowledge of the area, giving @@NAME@@ a bad name to tourists? Ridesharing is anti-competition and a threat to public safety. It must be banned!"

2."I think all this nonsense is nothing more than these taxi drivers being afraid of a little competition," comments Fubar driver @@RANDOMNAME@@, while checking their phone for nearby rides. "People are sick of taxis; they have to wave their hands up and down like lunatics in order to get one, or spend three hours on call waiting, and we all know taxi drivers always look for ways to cheat you. With Fubar, a friendly driver is always available fairly quickly and all you need is a phone app. I implore you to use some common sense. Fubar is safe, convenient, and the way of the future!"

3."There's a better idea," suggests Matthias Ford, CEO of MechanikWagon, as he reads the newspaper in his self-driving car. "How about you replace all taxis with my self-driving cars? Think about it! No more racist taxi drivers, and it's been scientifically proven that my cars are safer than any human driver. As an added bonus, those pesky taxi unions will be destroyed all with one signature! Passengers just go to a dedicated spot, press a button, wait for an auto-cab to arrive, before jumping in and keying in their destination. Sure, the cabbies would become obsolete, but they can find new jobs. Right?"

4."You know, this wouldn't be a problem if we had more public transit in our cities," interjects bus driver @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ while delaying traffic behind her vehicle. "Fubar and the taxis are both great services, but only for well-off citizens. People who barely make ends meet don't have the luxury of affording a taxi to get around everywhere. It's time to start investing in @@NAME@@'s infrastructure and public transit so that everyone can go about their daily lives. Besides, everyone loves our environmentally friendly buses. They're great for tourism and they're about the only vehicle that is accessible to the handicapped. Not to mention our drivers are much nicer than any taxi driver."

Issue by: The Federation of Australian Republic
Editor: Nation of Quebec

[Nation of Quebec]

479

The Issue

While heading to your office in @@CAPITAL@@, you suddenly find yourself caught in a massive rally staged by angry taxi drivers protesting Fubar, a popular ridesharing service. As the demonstration blocks off all nearby streets, you are forced to hear the drivers' respective demands.

The Debate

1."Fubar is destroying our business!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@ while trying to offer you a ride. "They charge cheap fares only because they don't have to pay for registration, special number plates, and occupational insurance. That's unfair. Fubar is dangerously unregulated. They don't even perform background checks on their drivers! Do you really want these potentially dangerous drivers, who have no knowledge of the area, giving @@NAME@@ a bad name to tourists? Ridesharing is anti-competition and a threat to public safety. It must be banned!"

2."I think all this nonsense is nothing more than these taxi drivers being afraid of a little competition," comments Fubar driver @@RANDOMNAME@@, while checking their phone for nearby rides. "People are sick of taxis; they have to wave their hands up and down like lunatics in order to get one, or spend three hours on call waiting, and we all know taxi drivers always look for ways to cheat you. With Fubar, a friendly driver is always available fairly quickly and all you need is a phone app. I implore you to use some common sense. Fubar is safe, convenient, and the way of the future!"

3."There's a better idea," suggests @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ Ford, CEO of MechanikWagon, as he reads the newspaper in his self-driving car. "How about you replace all taxis with my self-driving cars? Think about it! No more racist taxi drivers, and it's been scientifically proven that my cars are safer than any human driver. As an added bonus, those pesky taxi unions will be destroyed all with one signature! Passengers just go to a dedicated spot, press a button, wait for an auto-cab to arrive, before jumping in and keying in their destination. Sure, the cabbies would become obsolete, but they can find new jobs. Right?"

4."You know, this wouldn't be a problem if we had more public transit in our cities," interjects bus driver @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ while delaying traffic behind her vehicle. "Fubar and the taxis are both great services, but only for well-off citizens. People who barely make ends meet don't have the luxury of affording a taxi to get around everywhere. It's time to start investing in @@NAME@@'s infrastructure and public transit so that everyone can go about their daily lives. Besides, everyone loves our environmentally friendly buses. They're great for tourism and they're about the only vehicle that is accessible to the handicapped. Not to mention our drivers are much nicer than any taxi driver."

Issue by: The Federation of Australian Republic
Editor:

As you can see, I'm still missing issue title and contributor names, but some hints can be found here.
Also, I assumed that the 'Ford' last name in option 479.3 is not random, but I may very well be mistaken.
Moreover, I assumed a female name in option 479.4, based on the possessive adjective used.

I can say that I edited that issue.

[Drachmaland]

I can say that I edited that issue.

That's great! So, can you please give me the title for me to add in my post?
Also, have I gotten all the macros right?

[Nation of Quebec]

I can say that I edited that issue.

That's great! So, can you please give me the title for me to add in my post?
Also, have I gotten all the macros right?

Title: @@LEADER@@, Put On The Yellow Light.

The macros are right except for the third and forth option. The name is always Matthias Ford in three. The forth option is simply @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@. That macro covers both first and last names, as does @@RANDOMMALENAME@@.

[Drachmaland]

Thank you, nation of Quebec!
I think it's correct now.

[Drachmaland]

Since Trotterdam hasn't posted anything regarding Issue #479 yet, let me add the two worded results I've seen so far:
479.1: tardiness has increased after carpooling was classified as a criminal offense.
479.2: @@CAPITAL@@'s iconic yellow taxis are nowhere to be seen.

[Drachmaland]

480: One Nation's Trash Is Another Nation's Trash

The Issue

A collection of fishermen's unions have besieged the capitol with rubbish, all of which was caught during fishing expeditions. The fishermen claim they catch more novelty singing bass than actual fish in their nets, because the nation routinely dumps its waste in international waters.

The Debate

1. "Clean up your act, @@LEADER@@; these heaps of Mad Max vs. Jar-Jar Binks 2 DVDs are just the tip of the iceberg!" hollers @@RANDOMNAME@@, an impoverished fisherman. "If you think all this rubbish obstructing your office view is bad, you should see what it's like in the ocean. The fish are being killed off by makeshift continents of plastic and styrofoam and off-brand Jack Michaelson matryoshka dolls. @@NAME@@ needs to store its waste in landfills like other nations do, or we won't have a fishing industry to speak of!"

2. "I agree with the fishermen," quietly says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Environmental Minister, who you've never noticed before. "But let's actually help Mother Earth this time round. Give my ministry a blank check for once, and then we can restructure our waste disposal towards recycling and cleaning up all that waste floating in the South @@ANIMAL@@ Sea."

3. "Are we going to let some foreigners tell us what to do?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, an excessively patriotic citizen. "Our country is cleaner than ever! Never before has our glorious nation been so pristine! We should keep taking out our trash into the ocean, where it hurts no true @@DEMONYMNOUN@@. And if people still complain about the international waste dumping, why don't we cast the whiners into the sea too?"

4. "There's a better way," claims a woman who will only identify herself as the Captain, while welding a blender to a rusty supermarket trolley. "I have an idea for a TV show. Give teams of contestants ten hours to build crazy contraptions with rubbish fished out of the sea, and the winning team gets a free boat! I call it the Scrapsea Challenge. Sure, it won't have a meaningful impact on the nautical pollution levels, but it will globally broadcast that @@NAME@@ is doing something for Mother Earth. Kind of. That publicity is worth a little government support, is it not?"

Issue by: The Destructive DEN Army of Annihilators of Chan Island
Editor: Lenyo

PS I personally prefer "whom" for cases as the one present in the second option of this issue.

[Mediobogdum II]

Just beat me to it in posting #480! You are correct, of course, with:

" PS I personally prefer "whom" for cases as the one present in the second option of this issue."

[Trotterdam]

"Rexperiment needs to store its waste in landfills like other nations do, or we won't have a fishing industry to speak of!"

I assume that this is supposed to be @@NAME@@.

Since Trotterdam hasn't posted anything regarding Issue #479 yet,

I wasn't aware I was supposed to.

But since you're asking:

#479 Put On The Yellow Light
1. tardiness has increased after carpooling was classified as a criminal offense
2. @@CAPITAL@@'s iconic yellow taxis are nowhere to be seen
3. unemployed taxi drivers ironically use self-driving cabs to reach employment offices
4. conspiracy theorists allege @@CAPITAL@@'s new subway map resembles Satanic symbols

#480 One Nation's Trash Is Another Nation's Trash
1. landfills fill the land
2. the government is trying to clean up all the rubbish that has washed up on the shores of Bigtopia and Marche Noire
3. barges of dissidents are being "reeducated through water therapy" in the South @@ANIMAL@@ Sea
4. game show contestants scramble to fish trash out of the South @@ANIMAL@@ Sea

[Drachmaland]

Thanks, Trotterdam!

[Christian Democrats]

Issues #479 and #480 are now listed.

[Aculea]

I am so sorry I no longer have the entire issue in front of me, but #324: "Tourism Tanking!" Tells Tabloids is currently in my notices as "Tourism Tanking!" Trumpet Tabloids.

[Christian Democrats]

I am so sorry I no longer have the entire issue in front of me, but #324: "Tourism Tanking!" Tells Tabloids is currently in my notices as "Tourism Tanking!" Trumpet Tabloids.

So the issue's title has been changed?

[Aculea]

I am so sorry I no longer have the entire issue in front of me, but #324: "Tourism Tanking!" Tells Tabloids is currently in my notices as "Tourism Tanking!" Trumpet Tabloids.

So the issue's title has been changed?

Yes.