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Dubious wording in 874

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Dwarfpolis
Envoy
 
Posts: 262
Founded: Oct 12, 2015
Ex-Nation

Dubious wording in 874

Postby Dwarfpolis » Mon Mar 05, 2018 8:49 am

In issue 874, if the player responds with the second option, the message displayed is "A life spent suffering in silence is somehow considered noble." The "somehow" is doubtlessly a judgement on the part of, let's say the "narrator" of NationStates. Now, in the conclusions of issues I have noticed that the author invariably remains neutral; He describes catastrophic consequences and lets the reader decide on his thoughts of them, a style which is much more enjoyable than the author's views. There is no place for a "somehow" in the satirical style of NS.

In the same issue the first option is an example of a much better written conclusion. "Literally voiceless people are unable to protest when food and water are denied to them.", the narrator of NS does not judge the moral merit of the consequence, he just relates it. The situational humor arises from the facts themselves.

I put forth my case, I dedicate this thread to suggesting an alternative wording of the conclusion (mind that I am not asking for a change of effects) or to debate if it is necessary at all. I will try to contribute a suggestion slightly later.
You have read this siggy just so you could know that Trotterdam is a real Left-Leaning College State and a real hero

Ok this austerity bit will hurt my intelligence stat a little and this industrial option will bite the environment but it doesn't seem anything to bAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
https://i.imgur.com/KwZK4Mm.jpg

When you finally got out of your good stat depression and the mods will boost your HDI and lifespan into 91+ with the new beta
https://i.imgur.com/C5nuNya.jpg

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 23652
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:15 am

On reflection, I think you are correct.

Have taken out the word "somehow".
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Dwarfpolis
Envoy
 
Posts: 262
Founded: Oct 12, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Dwarfpolis » Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:21 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:On reflection, I think you are correct.

Have taken out the word "somehow".


Ok that was quick

You may nuke the thread
You have read this siggy just so you could know that Trotterdam is a real Left-Leaning College State and a real hero

Ok this austerity bit will hurt my intelligence stat a little and this industrial option will bite the environment but it doesn't seem anything to bAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
https://i.imgur.com/KwZK4Mm.jpg

When you finally got out of your good stat depression and the mods will boost your HDI and lifespan into 91+ with the new beta
https://i.imgur.com/C5nuNya.jpg

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 23652
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:41 am

KABOOOOOM.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people


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