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[DRAFT] Scouts in @@NAME@@?

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Demphor
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[DRAFT] Scouts in @@NAME@@?

Postby Demphor » Sat Dec 24, 2011 11:19 am

Scouts in @@NAME@@?

After a recent rise of Scouting in the region, people have come to the steps of the Capitol to ask for the formation of a Scouting Movement

[Option]

“We should have Scouts only for men,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of a @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Company. “Girls should be in the house anyways, cooking and doing our bidding!” he adds. “Scouts should be only for men, because they are the only people who do the hard work.”
[effect] Massive Civil Rights Demonstrations
[stats] Underground movements of Girl Scouts are being searched for by the Police

[Option]

“Why don’t we allow it for all genders?” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Defense, “but here’s the catch, we make Scouting a branch in the Military! Isn’t it brilliant! Then after 18 years of age, they can serve lifetime careers in the Military! MWAHAHAHAHAAA!”
[effect] Military spending increases
[stats] @@NAME@@'s Military increases due to forced conscription

[option]

“Hey, why do we need Scouting?” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who’s sitting in a lawn chair and drinking a beer. “It’s the parents who should be disciplining the kids anyways, it isn’t to the job of total strangers to tell my kid what to do? No! Scouting should be outlawed!”
[effect] Children’s behavior decreases, tax income decreases
[stats] Children roam the streets with motorcycle gangs

[option]

“No! No! No! No!” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, Leader of the NationStates Scouting Movement. “Why don’t we just let Scouting be non-profit, voluntary organization in @@NAME@@? It would benefit Children’s behavior and lives, not only that, it will put a new feeling of patriotism into this fine country! Scouting should be allowed the flourish.”
[effect] Children’s behavior increases
[stats] Children of @@NAME@@ are regarded as the most behaved in the region.




Here is my issue above. I want to know what would help it become a better issue. Are there errors? loopholes? To many options? I'd like your input!

Thanks, and Happy Holidays!

Demphor
Last edited by Demphor on Sun Dec 25, 2011 6:40 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Toddsville
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Founded: Dec 22, 2010
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Postby Toddsville » Sat Dec 24, 2011 11:26 am

It's just @@NAME@@ not @@NATIONNAME@@.

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Fischistan
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Postby Fischistan » Sat Dec 24, 2011 11:29 am

You can't be the CEO of an industry. That's like saying "I'm the CEO of the whole food industry".
Instead, say "CEO of a @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ company".
Last edited by Fischistan on Sat Dec 24, 2011 11:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Demphor
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Postby Demphor » Sat Dec 24, 2011 12:23 pm

Fischistan wrote:You can't be the CEO of an industry. That's like saying "I'm the CEO of the whole food industry".
Instead, say "CEO of a @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ company".


Oh, thanks!

Toddsville wrote:It's just @@NAME@@ not @@NATIONNAME@@.


Thanks Todds!
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Fischistan
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Postby Fischistan » Sun Dec 25, 2011 3:36 pm

The stats are supposed to be what the option actually affects, like economy, civil rights, world census rankings, ect.
Xavier D'Montagne
Fischistani Ambassador to the WA
Unibot II wrote:It's Carta. He CANNOT Fail. Only successes in reverse.
The Matthew Islands wrote:Knowledge is knowing the Tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
Anthony Delasanta wrote:its was not genocide it was ethnic cleansing...
Socorra wrote:A religion-free abortion thread is like a meat-free hamburger.
Help is on its Way: UDL
Never forget 11 September.
Never look off the edge of cliff on a segway.

11 September 1973, of course.

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Demphor
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Postby Demphor » Sun Dec 25, 2011 5:56 pm

Fischistan wrote:The stats are supposed to be what the option actually affects, like economy, civil rights, world census rankings, ect.


Oh, did I switch them up?
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Fischistan
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Postby Fischistan » Sun Dec 25, 2011 6:04 pm

make sure to say "a @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ company", instead of using "the". There is always more than one company in an industry.
Xavier D'Montagne
Fischistani Ambassador to the WA
Unibot II wrote:It's Carta. He CANNOT Fail. Only successes in reverse.
The Matthew Islands wrote:Knowledge is knowing the Tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
Anthony Delasanta wrote:its was not genocide it was ethnic cleansing...
Socorra wrote:A religion-free abortion thread is like a meat-free hamburger.
Help is on its Way: UDL
Never forget 11 September.
Never look off the edge of cliff on a segway.

11 September 1973, of course.

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Demphor
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Founded: Jun 03, 2010
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Postby Demphor » Sun Dec 25, 2011 6:40 pm

Fischistan wrote:make sure to say "a @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ company", instead of using "the". There is always more than one company in an industry.


Alright, thanks.
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Luna Amore
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Benevolent Dictatorship

Postby Luna Amore » Mon Dec 26, 2011 3:22 am

The issue seems a bit muddled.

There's no reason given for why people want scouts other than other nations in the region have them. The first two options read like they're for an issue about allowing women into scouts rather than starting a scouting program. The second option doesn't make a lot of sense. How does making scouts a branch of the military equal forced conscription at 18? The fourth option has no downside and is clearly the 'right' answer. Issues shouldn't have a clear cut 'no downside' option.

On a technical note, you have the [effects] and [stats] mixed up. The [effect] is the statement that gets put into your nation's description. You should avoid using macros (ex. @@NAME@@) in the [effects]. The [stat] is how the issue affects your nation's stats (civil rights decrease, happiness increases, youth-related crime increases).

I think there's definitely an issue here; it just needs more motivation. Ask yourself why your people want scouts and go from there.
Last edited by Luna Amore on Mon Dec 26, 2011 3:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Chocolate Fudge Cakes
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Founded: Oct 31, 2011
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Postby Chocolate Fudge Cakes » Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:17 am

Could you add an option to allow both genders but not make them a branch of the military?
It''s kind of odd that the only way girls can join the scouts is if it's a military organization.

Then again, I suppose the issues are not meant to be straightforward.


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