Free Press News Service

[Glen-Rhodes]

Nice attempt at yet another smear run. Wolf was told to stand down by his boss-up-for-recall because he tried too hard to get SPSF active.

lol. omg. He was told to shut up in one thread, a few days after being appointed, where all he wanted to do was pick fights. He wasn't "told to stand down" because he was "trying too hard" to do his job. He wasn't doing his job, period. He promised a military gameplay guide. Never wrote one. When was the last time he organized an op? According to Henn, he never organized one after becoming General.

Wolf was commended for being an active raider. He wasn't active in TSP when he was actually given the position of calling the shots for the SPSF. That's just a fact. A humorous one that I wanted to point out to his cheerleaders in the FPNS and TEP.

Given that his entire reason for being in TSP was to piss me off and supplant me, the big evil fenda, he pretty much blew his chance at actually doing something meaningful to a part of TSP I would have had zero ability to do anything about. Missed opportunities.

[Xoriet]

If I wanted to continue this inevitable threadjack I would ask you, Glen...remind me what part of your campaign you've lived up to?

But I'll diverge here.

Yay cheerleaders for good satire.

[Glen-Rhodes]

Making sure TSP's foreign affairs wasn't hijacked and ruined, for one.

You're not continuing a threadjack, btw. You're *creating* one because you know I'm right about Wolf in TSP.

[Aenglaland]

Please. We don't want palm trees burning here too. Let's stick to the topic please

[Siberian Districts]

Nice attempt at rewriting history. But Wolf was appointed General of the SPSF May 1st, two weeks after that election was settled. He even campaigned for the appointment.

Nice attempt at yet another smear run. Wolf was told to stand down by his boss-up-for-recall because he tried too hard to get SPSF active. The horror! Activity! If it wasn't for Wolf running Atlantic and Arbiter working hard to learn the necessary skills to help the SPSF (on the sidelines) grow in skill and efficiency, your military would be as active as a tranquilized bear until his boss decided to do something.

If I may toss my opinion in as an SPSF pleb, Id just like to sqy Wolf was auite inqctive in his ti,e He didnt organize rqids or qnything much
The atlqntic raid was the only example we got:
Sorry for the horrible granner and spelling, these damn french keyboqrds qre throwing ,e off!

[Todd McCloud]

As FPNS is forced to undergo budget cuts, we've had to hire on a fox guy thing who plays with his food. Enjoy while it lasts - as soon as our revenue goes back up, it's back to the B-movie bin!

How to Retire

So there's been some talk to-and-from the wondrous land of NationStates about some members retiring, some members coming back, and some nations who other nations think should maybe consider retiring. It's the way things go - they're like a circle, really. A nation starts with humble beginnings, builds up to stuff, stuff climaxes, stuff kind of lessens a bit, then stuff gets resolved and the nation kind of just goes away after a while. The fact that Shakespeare used the same model for his plays isn't too surprising - plays are drama, and NS is usually full of drama, and everyone knows NS inspired Shakespeare and not the other way around. Anyway, despite not having the experience of retiring, but having the experience of seeing people retire time and time again, this fox guy thing figured he'd offer up some suggestions on doing it. Not that you should do it. Because people leaving this game sucks sometimes.

And now here's a list. How to Retire.

1. Tie Up Loose Ends - Even with enemies. Pretty much anyone who you still think about should be given some kind of closure or a final send-off, just to clear your mind and stuff. Ignore the fights and petty bickering - if you're really retiring, it'll do you and others a body good to just liberate their real feelings. Privately, if possible. Plus, at the end of the day, and the end of the game, what do they really mean anyway?
   .
2. Last Will and Testament Posts are Dumb - They're dumb for a number of reasons. Especially the ones that call folks out by name. The more names one names, the less the post becomes about retirement and the more the post becomes something about "hey, why wasn't my name mentioned" or "I totes got a warm fuzzy for the name drop, mate". Even so, the giant, extravagant posts kind of come across as, I don't know, grandiose? Vain, even? But remember, the life cycles of nations are usually circular - start small, do big stuff, then end small - unless they do the exact opposite of...
   .
3. Quitting in a huff, which makes you and others feel bad (and is bad) - Seriously. I don't like seeing folks destroy themselves in this game, or letting the game destroy them, no matter how bad they've made me feel. Even a fuzzy fox guy thing heart can feel humanity now and then, and as humans we want to live by each others' happiness not each others' misery. And I think my sentiments are shared by a lot of people in this game. Yeah, people complain and crab, act emo and do stuff for attention. But there's a deeper sense of comradely in between the lines of issue answering, delegate elections, raids and defenses, and GHR's. Don't rob yourself of that, and don't rob others of that as well.
   .
4. Similarly, getting mod-bombed probably sucks - I say probably because it's more or less what I've heard. Ya can't really do anything after that. And I know there are those who have "retired" via a mod-bomb who eventually regretted it.
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5. Also, quitting because you got burned only makes one think their time here was a complete waste - Show strength and survive, move on and attempt to get past it. Folks will remember that over whatever happened. They may not like it, or what you did, but they'll at least respect you over it, so long as you move on from it as well.
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6. If you retire, and announce it, you better mean it - I don't really need to address this one. Everyone remembers when a player retired and then came back over them actually retiring. Ask around.
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7. Refrain from playing it like a card - You know, like the "oh man if this happens I'll prolly retire" card. Yeah, even the fox guy thing's played that card once. No one wants to be responsible for someone retiring on a sour note.I mean, alright, maybe something in the game will change that'll make you want to retire, or someone will do something that makes you feel that way, but eh, it works to be more graceful to just do some reflecting and insure you really, really mean it. And if you do, no need to plow the people who are responsible. Unless they deserve it. And if they do, they'll look like 100% Grade-A Schmo.
   .
8. When it's over, have a beer - Or if you're underage, have a root beer. Retiring from something like this game is tough. But if you're truly retiring (see #6), it represents the end of a chapter of your life. Yeah, it's a game, but hey, it takes up some time and you've probably at least done a few things that you didn't think you'd do when you started the game. That's an accomplishment and you own that and stuff. So, relax a bit.

That's about it. Eight stellar points for a stellar retirement. Truth be told, I don't think anyone's ever followed all eight of those points, and again, I don't have much of a way of knowing if it's correct or even complete. But I figured it's probably about right. Or left. Or maybe clockwise. You know, circular. If one leaves in a huff, it's an incomplete circle of sorts. And have you ever looked at an incomplete circle? Like, really looked at it and thought it was a fat letter U or maybe they needed to draw another curve and make it something like a cherry or whatever? Anyway, what I'm really trying to say is don't be a fat letter U. Be a circle. Makes the world go 'round.

Tune in next week for the follow-up to this piece, as FPNS continues to use D-list talent as filler between their much better stories! (Note: no foreshadowing or speculating, so don't read into the subject of this piece too much)

[The Stalker]

Hey great article Todd, definitely in full agreement on all 8 points. The flow of happenings is very much circular in my experience, and i've seen too many "retirements".

Heh, don't know if i'd ever really retire though.

[Benjamin Henrikson]

FPNS is my favorite news service. Great article. I'll make sure to follow if I ever truly leave.

[Aenglaland]

Great article Todd, a good way to start my morning

[RiderSyl]

Should this be called the "8-Step Program to Quitting NationStates"?

[King Nephmir II]

Ah, the eightfold path I see.

Now do us all a favor and put it into action- that way we can see if it really works and follow suit.

[Todd McCloud]

Ah, the eightfold path I see.

Now do us all a favor and put it into action- that way we can see if it really works and follow suit.

You're Retiring?!

[Ramaeus]

Ah, the eightfold path I see.

Now do us all a favor and put it into action- that way we can see if it really works and follow suit.

Enjoy your retirement!

[Zaolat]

Ah, the eightfold path I see.

Now do us all a favor and put it into action- that way we can see if it really works and follow suit.

Enjoy your retirement!

Yeah, you'll be missed, but future generations of NS will learn to follow in your footsteps the day that they retire. Bye Nephy!

[King Nephmir II]

Wait... now I'm confused. >_>

[Todd McCloud]

Wait... now I'm confused. >_>

Just have a beer... or root beer. Good luck!

[Valrifell]

Neph you might be missed, can't confirm.

(Alright! Avoided mod ban! )

[Klaus Devestatorie]

I'm not retiring. I'll just stay on this poolside deckchair until I'm too decrepit to get up.

[New Rogernomics]

I'm not retiring. I'll just stay on this poolside deckchair until I'm too decrepit to get up.

Don't stay out too much and get sunburn then.

[RiderSyl]

I'm not retiring. I'll just stay on this poolside deckchair until I'm too decrepit to get up.

Don't stay out too much and get sunburn then.

Sunburns don't bother Ava. They only make him stronger.

[McMasterdonia]

Great article Todd.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Keep up the good work Todd, excellent article.

[Pierconium]

This was a good read. I would possibly suggest a #9 that includes the possibility of returning after a few years if you find your RL circumstances have shifted and you just get bored and want to play a game.

[The Stalker]

This was a good read. I would possibly suggest a #9 that includes the possibility of returning after a few years if you find your RL circumstances have shifted and you just get bored and want to play a game.

That doesn't sound like a step in retiring...

Be like if the last step in AA was to have drink once your addiction was under control.

[United RussoAsia]

This was a good read. I would possibly suggest a #9 that includes the possibility of returning after a few years if you find your RL circumstances have shifted and you just get bored and want to play a game.

That doesn't sound like a step in retiring...

Be like if the last step in AA was to have drink once your addiction was under control.

That's the closest comparison to NS right now.