An ONN Report: War Not Going Well For Onder

[The Osiris News Network]

Osiris News Network

The UIAF's new handbook?

Minor Update Report - 12/04/2013 - Unnamed sources across Nationstates were today wondering if the Emperor in Chief, the Kaiser of Somewhere or Other and Lord-God of the Ondersphere, Onder-Kelkia would try to 'give peace a chance in his war on the FRUDL organisations following an appalling performance at today's minor.

The United Imperial Armed Forces stumbled into at least 6 regions, boldly taking two, The Mandalorian Brotherhood and Oh who cares-istan. They missed or failed four, including what appears to be an attempt on a foundered region by what we assume to be the mightiest of UIAF forces, a single unnamed soldier. This colossus of warfare has yet to be identified.

Speculation began immediately followed the calamitous update that Onder might take a further step back from his wars with the FRA and the UDL, due to what appears to be a shortage of competent soldiers. The absence of Charles Cerebella, moonlighting as delegate of Balder, seems to have taken all the precious momentum that the Ondersphere once had - self described 'conquerors of The Rejected Realms'.

Onder was unable to be reached for comment, but one possibly aligned raider asked this reporter 'not to mock him'.

Where do the forces of Onderism go from here? Keep up with the ONN's War Watch to find out.

[Cormac Stark]

My favorite was when they all moved on time and would have gotten it, except, y'know, the lead didn't move until after the region updated. Ah well, these things happen I suppose. Brilliant satire from ONN, hope to see more like it!

[Tim-Opolis]

This is the fairest and most balanced article I have ever seen come out of an NS News Source. The ONN should be heavily applauded for being willing to write such brave truth-speaking words [/sarcasm]

Honestly, though, this was a lovely read. I hope to see more wonderful stories from the ONN!

[Fitzwallace]

I look forward to the next article about the incompetence of the UDL, specifically Cormac Stark.

[Cerian Quilor]

So we had a bad update, apparently. The first really bad one for the UIAF. It happens.

The Defenders have had worse updates.

If I was a defender, I can easily imagine finding this amusing (it is at least decently written), but well, I'm not, so no, not funny.

[The Osiris News Network]

The Osiris News Network would like to remind all of it's readers that this is a totally serious news source and unlike the PNN and RRN (or whatever it's called) is committed to 100% unbiased, quality articles.

I look forward to the next article about the incompetence of the UDL, specifically Cormac Stark.

I wouldn't want to be sleeping on the couch for the next few weeks. - ONN Reporter Mad Jack.

[Vladisvok Destino]

I look forward to the next article about the incompetence of the UDL, specifically Cormac Stark.

You're assuming Cormac won't have changed sides again by then.

Article is vaguely amusing, although TRR does defender drivel better.

[Cromarty]

You used to be fun, Vlad.

[Whiskum]

This article could be interpreted as mildly amusing, but underneath all satire lies underlying assumptions, which I am now going to address.

The United Imperial Armed Forces are a highly proficient military, as is illustrated by our cumulative record of success since its establishment.

We are in the process of training less experienced personnel to lead update operations. This naturally means there will be some hiccups, but will in the long-run improve the calibre of our force and make it less dependent on individual senior leaders.

As to my personal role, I am currently on a leave of absence. I am therefore not involved in day-to-day operations and have not been for months.

Besides the fact that a better trained and more professional military will allow us to build on TNI and LKE's already strong record of military victories in the wars, none of this has any implications for our continued wars on the FRA and the UDL.

[Cormac Stark]

This article could be interpreted as mildly amusing, but underneath all satire lies underlying assumptions, which I am now going to address.

The United Imperial Armed Forces are a highly proficient military, as is illustrated by our cumulative record of success since its establishment.

We are in the process of training less experienced personnel to lead update operations. This naturally means there will be some hiccups, but will in the long-run improve the calibre of our force and make it less dependent on individual senior leaders.

As to my personal role, I am currently on a leave of absence. I am therefore not involved in day-to-day operations and have not been for months.

Besides the fact that a better trained and more professional military will allow us to build on TNI and LKE's already strong record of military victories in the wars, none of this has any implications for our continued wars on the FRA and the UDL.

What is your cumulative record, out of curiosity? As in, do you have an official tally of victories, losses, and misses? I get the training thing, but you might try the Warzones -- there are several of them, and more than the UIAF often tries for in a single update. When you train in founderless regions with actual natives and scrawl your graffiti on them, it leads to the interpretation that these are actual operations rather than training operations and makes them fair game for criticism.

Regarding your personal role, don't be so humble Onder. You are the architect of the diplomatic and military doctrines currently in force in both TNI and The LKE. You are the father of TNIAF and LKEAF, and thus of UIAF. Before your absence you led them into battle, personally, almost every time they deployed. Their victories are very much still your victories, but their losses are also your losses.

Finally, regarding the wars: I would say your troops getting their arses handed to them on a near daily basis this week and by the very same people upon whom TNI and The LKE have declared war does have some implications. Fortunately, we don't see ourselves as at war with you but simply as protecting founderless regions -- otherwise, if we thought in those terms, we might think we were winning at the moment.

[Mahaj]

none of this has any implications for our continued wars on the FRA and the UDL.

Good to see that all the UIAF posts aren't ending with "Down with FRUDL!"

[Cerian Quilor]

No one has had their ass handed to them on a daily basis this week, Cormac.

Secondly, there are several problems with traning in warzones: First of all, they ususally have someone parked in there with more numbers than can be assembled for your average training operation. Secondly, GCRs like to hang out in there, and neither TNI nor the LKE is interested in fighting GCRs, especially when they are allied with more than one of them. And thirdly, Defenders tend to not defend Warzones which kind of defeats the purpose of training. The whole point is to give people a feeling of what a live-fire actual raid would be like, and if Defenders aren't going to bother, its not a live-fire training exercise.

[Cormac Stark]

No one has had their ass handed to them on a daily basis this week, Cormac.

Secondly, there are several problems with traning in warzones: First of all, they ususally have someone parked in there with more numbers than can be assembled for your average training operation. Secondly, GCRs like to hang out in there, and neither TNI nor the LKE is interested in fighting GCRs, especially when they are allied with more than one of them. And thirdly, Defenders tend to not defend Warzones which kind of defeats the purpose of training. The whole point is to give people a feeling of what a live-fire actual raid would be like, and if Defenders aren't going to bother, its not a live-fire training exercise.

I would disagree; I've been around for most updates this week and the updates in which defenders have been active, I recall UIAF having more losses and misses than victories. But if you have statistics I'll be happy to accept them as more valid than my recollection.

Fair enough, regarding Warzones. But if you're going to train in actual founderless regions with actual natives, and scrawl actual graffiti on their WFEs and put up your flag, expect to receive actual ridicule when you have more losses and misses than you have victories. That's how it goes.

[The Osiris News Network]

This article could be interpreted as mildly amusing, but underneath all satire lies underlying assumptions, which I am now going to address.

The United Imperial Armed Forces are a highly proficient military, as is illustrated by our cumulative record of success since its establishment.

We are in the process of training less experienced personnel to lead update operations. This naturally means there will be some hiccups, but will in the long-run improve the calibre of our force and make it less dependent on individual senior leaders.

As to my personal role, I am currently on a leave of absence. I am therefore not involved in day-to-day operations and have not been for months.

Besides the fact that a better trained and more professional military will allow us to build on TNI and LKE's already strong record of military victories in the wars, none of this has any implications for our continued wars on the FRA and the UDL.

The Osiris News Network would happily have one of our reporters sit down with you in an exclusive interview, if you wish to discuss the wars, the current state of the imperialist sphere and your reaction to the term 'Ondersphere' (originating most recently in Europeia) to describe the political sphere that includes TNI-LKE-Europeia, among others.

[Whiskum]

This article could be interpreted as mildly amusing, but underneath all satire lies underlying assumptions, which I am now going to address.

The United Imperial Armed Forces are a highly proficient military, as is illustrated by our cumulative record of success since its establishment.

We are in the process of training less experienced personnel to lead update operations. This naturally means there will be some hiccups, but will in the long-run improve the calibre of our force and make it less dependent on individual senior leaders.

As to my personal role, I am currently on a leave of absence. I am therefore not involved in day-to-day operations and have not been for months.

Besides the fact that a better trained and more professional military will allow us to build on TNI and LKE's already strong record of military victories in the wars, none of this has any implications for our continued wars on the FRA and the UDL.

What is your cumulative record, out of curiosity? As in, do you have an official tally of victories, losses, and misses? I get the training thing, but you might try the Warzones -- there are several of them, and more than the UIAF often tries for in a single update. When you train in founderless regions with actual natives and scrawl your graffiti on them, it leads to the interpretation that these are actual operations rather than training operations and makes them fair game for criticism.

We are not obsessive enough to maintain a precise count of every single tag operation and, but there is sufficient information on our performance for a qualitative assessment to be made on the basis of the information contained in our announcement thread.

In particular, you can read this section of the latest announcement:

In the ten days of the UIAF's existence, 21 independent victories have been won, ranging over eight different updates, both majors and minors, and commanded by six different commanders, going from my command of the operation against the Ascendency, through to Staff Sergeant Valfor's first ever victory in Crazykids at the last Major update.

Other parts of that thread detail some of our defeats and provide more information on them than other military organisations provide on theirs. I have not been present at update, but the recollection of our commanders is that those 21 independent victories were the majority of our operations. If your impression differs, we will have to agree to disagree, but the record Cerebella outlines there is nothing to be dismissive about.

They are actual operations whose purpose is training and they are operations which are necessary to permit more significant operations - part of the purpose of cascading is to train, but they are also real and that is how training is best done. By pointing out that we are using these operations to train commanders, I did not seek to excuse failure, I was merely pointing out that less experienced personnel do make mistakes, but that in the long-run the fact we are using less experienced personnel, rather than relying on one individual, to command operations will only improve the capability of our force.

Regarding your personal role, don't be so humble Onder. You are the architect of the diplomatic and military doctrines currently in force in both TNI and The LKE. You are the father of TNIAF and LKEAF, and thus of UIAF. Before your absence you led them into battle, personally, almost every time they deployed. Their victories are very much still your victories, but their losses are also your losses.

Some of this is nonsense. TNI and LKE stand in a long tradition of powerful independent regions which reserve the right to take offensive military action. Due to the wars with the FRA and the UDL, we have asserted this right more frequently but our strategic model was inherited from regions like (but not limited to) Great Britain and Ireland, which (along with EoE) was The LKE and TNI's partner in the Congress of Sovereigns and was TNI's partner in SRATO alongside Europeia, Gatesville and The Last Kingdom. I was not a grand architect of anything. TNI and LKE's external policy has a historical basis.

Moreover, the shaping of this strategic model to meet TNI and LKE's diplomatic and military needs, in light of the wars with the FRA and the UDL (and indeed the decision to launch those wars), is a process which many have contributed to. In particular, the contributions of North East Somerset and Cerebella are at least equal to and possibly greater than my own. Simply because I have shown strong leadership of the wars in a manner which defender media organisations caricature does not change that. Beyond these premier contributions, the role of individual politicians in our regions and of the Kaiserin and the previous Emperor of The LKE, Lucius, has at various points going back to 2006 been crucial. You grossly over-state the extent of my role.

It is true that, from the start of 2011, I led and micro-managed most TNI military operations prior to my leave of absence, but TNIAF has been in the making for years and other commanders, notably Belgium Fighters, contributed to this process before I first assumed any military command role in TNI during late 2009. However, I had support and strategic advice from my subordinates when I sought it. As for The LKE, after mid-2010, I actually delegated command of the LKE Armed Forces to NES, Afgambistan, James Pigeon and Cephal Talleyrand at various points, though I remained Commander-in-Chief as Emperor (and still do), so had little direct involvement in operational issues beyond coordinating reinforcements. The UIAF is now entering a new phase, with a unified command structure and the burden of command being shared by junior officers. Both aspects goes beyond the approach to running TNIAF or the LKE Imperial Army during the period I commanded TNIAF, so again the UIAF is moving forward beyond where I left the TNI and LKE militaries.

Finally, regarding the wars: I would say your troops getting their arses handed to them on a near daily basis this week and by the very same people upon whom TNI and The LKE have declared war does have some implications. Fortunately, we don't see ourselves as at war with you but simply as protecting founderless regions -- otherwise, if we thought in those terms, we might think we were winning at the moment.

As outlined above, we do not accept your description of what has occurred this week or your view of the status of the wars.

[Common-Sense Politics]

Regarding your personal role, don't be so humble Onder. You are the architect of the diplomatic and military doctrines currently in force in both TNI and The LKE. You are the father of TNIAF and LKEAF, and thus of UIAF. Before your absence you led them into battle, personally, almost every time they deployed. Their victories are very much still your victories, but their losses are also your losses.

Onder obviously got to this before I did but I wanted to be able to shake my finger at Cormac anyway. You're talking out of your touch-hole, son.

[Cormac Stark]

<snip>

I guess it's understandable that you wouldn't have complete statistics of tag raids; we aren't obsessive enough to keep them either, and it would be quite a chore. To be frank, 21 victories over the course of eight updates -- which comes out to 2-3 victories per update -- isn't that impressive when you consider that the record is something like 41 victories in a single update set by The Black Riders if I recall correctly. Of course I'll grant that The Black Riders are a professional raider organization whereas UIAF is a bilateral regional military force so the emphases and goals would be different. It's also less impressive insofar as we don't know how many losses and misses accompanied those victories, so we don't have a complete picture, though I do commend UIAF for being one of the few military organizations to at least mention losses in its announcements.

In regard to your role in the external affairs of TNI and The LKE, I suppose I did minimize others' contributions more than I should have. My point was that you have been a prominent figure in the external affairs of both regions for some time. You even have an important doctrine of their foreign affairs named after you, a doctrine that has provided justification for war. So while there are other individuals involved who have made significant contributions, I don't think it's unfair to say that your role over the past year that I've been in NationStates has been incredibly significant and you've made a deep impact on the external affairs of both regions and the broader sphere of influence of which they are a part. To those less familiar with the details of these regions' histories and even many who are more familiar, when they think of TNI and The LKE they think of you. In my view, that should be a source of pride because you've put in an enormous amount of work within both regions which has led to that perception -- but it's not surprising that your name would also be mentioned alongside losses.

In any event, I think the ONN piece brought a little humor to the end of our week and we've both diverged into more serious territory than the author probably intended. At the end of the day, it's not so much the number of victories or losses that matters but the sovereignty of regions. For us it's the sovereignty of the founderless regions we are trying to protect and for you it's the sovereignty of your own regions which you feel has been gravely infringed upon by the FRA and the UDL, which evidently justifies the endless violation of the sovereignty of other regions which have no connection whatsoever to either organization. Obviously, our goal -- protecting founderless regions -- is furthered every time you lose or miss update, but we're not keeping score. Two regions scrawled with graffiti in the name of military training, while better than six, is still two too many.

Finally and on a more personal note, welcome back. Even if we fundamentally disagree on virtually everything, you add to the intellectual quality of NationStates and the game is improved by having you around again even if your activity level won't be quite what it used to be.

[Cerian Quilor]

No one has had their ass handed to them on a daily basis this week, Cormac.

Secondly, there are several problems with traning in warzones: First of all, they ususally have someone parked in there with more numbers than can be assembled for your average training operation. Secondly, GCRs like to hang out in there, and neither TNI nor the LKE is interested in fighting GCRs, especially when they are allied with more than one of them. And thirdly, Defenders tend to not defend Warzones which kind of defeats the purpose of training. The whole point is to give people a feeling of what a live-fire actual raid would be like, and if Defenders aren't going to bother, its not a live-fire training exercise.

I would disagree; I've been around for most updates this week and the updates in which defenders have been active, I recall UIAF having more losses and misses than victories. But if you have statistics I'll be happy to accept them as more valid than my recollection.

Fair enough, regarding Warzones. But if you're going to train in actual founderless regions with actual natives, and scrawl actual graffiti on their WFEs and put up your flag, expect to receive actual ridicule when you have more losses and misses than you have victories. That's how it goes.

Not every failed raid by unknown forces is UIAF.

And you can expect to be graffitied when you fail more often than you lose, which was the case with the UIAF this week.

[Eldarion Telcontar]

Lol at this article. Onder came back, what, yesterday? Sometimes people have bad updates - they still took a few nonetheless. Nothing that warranted a shot at Imperialism from Osiris.

Edit: On "Complete Military Incompetence" Hmmm, what was a larger mistake: having a bad update on your third day back or telling your own defender forces to endorse a couper?

[Cromarty]

Hmmm, what was a larger mistake: having a bad update on your third day back or telling your own defender forces to endorse a couper?

Ah I wondered when you'd turn up. Still running around trying to get in with your AC buddies? Or have you given up on that and gone off to attempt something else, as you inevitably do.

And I'm not sure what 'defender forces' I 'own', nor what you think I 'told them'. But then facts are not something you're very good with. Neither is succeeding at... well just about anything. Enjoy your irrelevancy, Apollo, I'm sure one day you might amount to something.

[Charles Cerebella]

First thing is first, this surprises me to be coming from Osiris, a region that neither TNI or the LKE has really much interaction with (aside from our support of your mission in January where we helped with the initial seizure and supported you in reinforcing it) and a region whom I recently spoken to your Foreign Minister about establishing relations on a more friendly footing between our regions. Perhaps that will need to be reconsidered if Osiris views us with such disdain as to come up such such tabloid nonsense as this?

One difference between us and TBR's 41 missions is that all of ours have been triggered manually without the aid of scripts. This will necessarily decrease the number of regions it is possible to hit. Furthermore, as was made clear by my press release, a lot of this week has been dedicated in training new officers who will of course have greater problems at first. How many regions have you actually successfully defended as opposed to ones where the timing was slightly off or a security check (for the god knows how manyth time *glares at the officer in question*) caused it to fail? 2 or 3 perhaps? Maybe 4 if there were some at updates I wasn't present. Hardly a success rate that justifies a thread to boost about others failures don't you think.

As far as Onder goes, he has been absent for sixth months and has had absolutely no input to the military over that time and none since he has returned. He has been given an Imperial Command position on the expectation that as he gradually returns to activity he will be able to contribute again. It is unfair on him to direct any criticism for losses which he has had nothing to do with.

[Mad Jack]

First thing is first, this surprises me to be coming from Osiris, a region that neither TNI or the LKE has really much interaction with (aside from our support of your mission in January where we helped with the initial seizure and supported you in reinforcing it) and a region whom I recently spoken to your Foreign Minister about establishing relations on a more friendly footing between our regions. Perhaps that will need to be reconsidered if Osiris views us with such disdain as to come up such such tabloid nonsense as this?

Psst, here's the key word.

Take it as seriously as you would an article in the Sun, or the Star or the Mirror. Because seriously, if you're going to look at relations because of one article, then you perhaps you aren't worth having relations with the first place.

Mad Jack
Pharaoh of Osiris Who Mistakenly Thought People Weren't So Thin Skinned

[Saber Lily]

We'll be out in force next week, and I hope you will enjoy chasing us around region from region.

[Solorni]

We'll be out in force next week, and I hope you will enjoy chasing us around region from region.

He can't, he's a delegate who can't take Onders awesomeness

[Eldarion Telcontar]

Hmmm, what was a larger mistake: having a bad update on your third day back or telling your own defender forces to endorse a couper?

Ah I wondered when you'd turn up. Still running around trying to get in with your AC buddies? Or have you given up on that and gone off to attempt something else, as you inevitably do.

And I'm not sure what 'defender forces' I 'own', nor what you think I 'told them'. But then facts are not something you're very good with. Neither is succeeding at... well just about anything. Enjoy your irrelevancy, Apollo, I'm sure one day you might amount to something.

Yes. I am in the AC! Woohoo! Because I'm such a key player in the AC and with my tight connections with all the dick-heads and forum destoryers! You really gotta shut the fuck up about this, because I've never spoken to anyone in the AC, but of course, the idiotic person that you are will only keep believing it.

I also never said I was important If I wanted to be cool I'd quit the whole founder thing and do shit for the UIAF and someday become something there and perhaps in TNI. I've given up aspiring to political life. Now I want to make a difference in my own way and create something that teaches other people to be leaders. I want to do something for people, the residents of Ainur, that will turn them into the politician I once strived to become. Those who can't do; teach.