NATION

PASSWORD

The New 3WB

A chamber dedicated to the dissemination of inter-regional peace and goodwill, via force if necessary.
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Sedgistan
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The New 3WB

Postby Sedgistan » Fri Dec 10, 2010 7:56 pm

The Security Council had always been a peaceful place.

In the golden days one could find thoughtful TannerFrankLanders and observant Oh My Daysians discussing racial tolerance over a hot chocolate, refined Reseda Islanders and sympathetic Sedgistanians engaging in mature debate about the merits of military action, and even kindly Kennyites and unconventional Unibotians... well, okay - they weren't quite so friendly. But even so, the abominable Ardchoilleans were rarely spotted around the Chamber, and there was an amicable atmosphere as ambassadors worked together in a harmonious environment, spreading peace and goodwill around the world.

This all changed on the 23rd of April, 2010. Late at night, while all the delegates were sleeping, the Secretariat snuck into the building and erected a fourth wall.

The once triangular building now had an entire corner walled off, and oh, how the representatives complained! The wall was restrictive, it was ugly, and it stopped them playing their impromptu games of 3-way British bulldog. What had happened to the principle of the ambassadors constructing their own building? Never mind that there were windows in the floor and chimneys coming out of the walls - dammit, they liked it this way!

The Secretariat protested that the architects had always planned to build the fourth wall - they'd just run out of bricks last year. This wasn't enough, though. Protests quickly broke out, and the Secretariat was nearly driven from the Chamber as angry ambassadors threw pies, shoes and even some unfortunate fish at them. Rapidly organising themselves, the ambassadors charged at the wall together, hoping to break it under their combined weight! Others sprayed obscene graffiti on the wall, while Pascal of Unibot released invisible ants on an unfortunate group of pro-wall ambassadors. One deranged individual even picked up a spare Condemnation badge and tried to nail it into the fourth wall, before being dragged off for "re-education" by the Secretariat.

Caught up in the heat of the moment, ambassadors stopped pushing against the wall and instead lunged at each other, a massive brawl developing. This whirling maelstrom of firsts and elbows spun around the chamber, gathering in pace and ferocity until finally the scrum fell kicking and screaming through one of the windows in the floor, landing with a splash in the lake.

Taking advantage of this, the gnomes locked all the doors, released a team of trained (invisible) anteaters, and cleaned up the mess. The Security Council Chamber remained locked down for several days, as shamed ambassadors dried off outside.

Eventually, they were let back into the building one at a time, after signing a contract promising good behaviour. As they entered, the ambassadors noticed the new wall had been painted a pleasant shade of violet. Looking upon it, they realised that maybe, just maybe, the fourth wall didn't look that bad.

The Security Council now got back to business, returning to its favourite topics of Nazis, 10000 Islands and Gatesville, though not without the occasional minor outbreak of fisticuffs and pie-fights.

Meanwhile, ambassadors began to speculate about the wall - what was hidden in the triangular area behind it? Some suggested that the ruined AMOM dirigibles were stored there; others claimed that tins of orange and blue paint confiscated off the Macedons were stashed inside.

But now, they were going to find out. For on this fateful morning, the ambassadors that entered the Great Chamber of the Security Council and looked upon the Fourth Wall noticed a door. Above that door read the words:


Three Walled Bar


Below it, another sign:

"50% cheaper than the Strangers Bar"


Behind the bar stood Cedric, a young man who looked strangely similar to the deranged individual dragged off by the Secretariat for re-education. Cleaning glasses with a slightly glazed expression on his face, he awaited the thirsty hordes.

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Unibot
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Postby Unibot » Fri Dec 10, 2010 8:25 pm

Eduard stared at the water dripping from the ceiling... drip ... drip ... drip... drip... jesus, this place was driving him mad -- or atleast least madder than usual.

Heir was only here because the public demanded he represent Unibot at the new founded bar, but to be perfectly honest, this place was in terrible shape. At-least five pot-belly pigs occupied the decrepit parlor, not to mention the flees and the homeless people who hid in the bar when the monorail cars were being patrolled by the Secretariat (who might as well not have bothered patrolling at all). Eduard swatted a rat off his hand as he slowly sipped his scotch from a large bucket with "Property of the WA OBM Custodian" branded across it. He clenched his teeth from the aftertaste that following the distinctive combination of ammonia and scotch.

The rodent projectile eventually fell on a homeless person who had been sleeping fairly contently on the floor till his sudden awakening. The homeless person cursed at Eduard, to which Heir bit his lip, ready to curse back at him until a divine influence overwhelmed his soul with some sort of palliative omnibenevolen-- okay fine, Cedric, the secretariat barkeep was watching him like a hawk and he didn't want to get into further trouble. Heir did give a little sneer at the homeless man before returning to his drink. He was glad however that he had found the comfortable milk-crate out of the less desirable ones.
Last edited by Unibot on Fri Dec 10, 2010 8:31 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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Unibot
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Postby Unibot » Fri Dec 10, 2010 8:54 pm

A burly man with a toothless smile barged into the 3WB with a piece of parchment, and handful of nails and a hammer. The man began to deface the forth wall by nailing a large stream of parchment to the wall. The text of the parchment read as followed:

Image $100,000 REWARD!

Image
THE MURDERER
Of Unibot's late vice-ambassador, Pascal S. Wager
IS STILL AT LARGE!


The deep-fried body of the late Mr. Wager was found on Sunday, April 18th 2010 having meant his unfortunate death in a vat of oil at the basement of olde Orville's House of Popcorn. Authorities report that Mr. Wager was found near a pocketknife and quite a substantial amount of rope which suggests the murderer is a dangerous fellow with an inclination to torture his victims. If you suspect you know who murdered Mr. Wager, do not approach the murderer, but instead contact the relevant authorities.


Eduard frowned and addressed the burly man, "eh-- who are you?"

The burly man boyishly grinned, "I'm a poster."
Last edited by Unibot on Fri Dec 10, 2010 9:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Sedgistan
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Postby Sedgistan » Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:12 pm

Cedric started, and jerked his head around to look at the newcomer. He winced as the man hammered a piece of paper onto the wall. Something was playing at the back of his mind -- a painful memory which he was unable to focus on. Putting down the glass he'd been cleaning for the last 20 minutes, he limped over to read the parchment.

A cursory glance revealed it to be yet another notice about that dreadful man Pascal Wager who had fallen into a vat of oil all those months ago. Pah! It was his own damn fault, though Cedric. All the conspiracies - so what if the body had disappeared?

Cedric turned around and hobbled back to the bar, angling his head so that he could glare at Eduard Heir again. That man had no taste -- well, that much was made obvious when he'd turned down the deep-fried steak that Cedric had offered when Eduard ordered his scotch. Sure, the meat was of dubious origin, but it sure tasted good. His loss, thought Cedric, as he tidied away his plate.

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Zoerb
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Ex-Nation

Postby Zoerb » Sun Dec 12, 2010 4:02 pm

Clive Roskovski wandered into the new bar. He looked around somewhat confused, not having been around to see the great fight over the fourth wall. "Oh well" he thought, "maybe Ill learn something".

As he continued to observe the place he felt it growing on him a bit. It reminded him of the early days when he served in the fledgling Zorbian navy. Perhaps he would like it here.

After a quick quizzical glance at the posters on the wall he went over to the bar. Leaning against it he ordered a whiskey and glanced over at Eduard's bucket, hoping his drink might come in something a bit more civilized.
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Sedgistan
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Postby Sedgistan » Mon Dec 13, 2010 6:46 pm

Cedric beamed at the newcomer -- finally, a well-dressed gentleman, and maybe even one who would tip -- he would be getting the proper service. Cedric reached below the bar for a sparklingly clean glass stamped with "World Assembly Strangers' Bar" and poured out a whisky. Handing it over, he ushered Clive towards the plush sofas and carpeted floors of the roped-off VIP area. Smirking, he turned back to face Eduard, hoping he'd been watching.

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Zoerb
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Postby Zoerb » Mon Dec 13, 2010 7:13 pm

"preciate' the glass comrade" Clive said, smileing as he read what was stamped on it "but I'm not one to take the plush seats if the're offered, only when the're not". He took a sip of his drink. "Fine stuff". He then turned slightly and murmered into a two-way radio at his side. A few moments later an aide walked in carrying a largish wood chair. Clive helped him set it down next to the bar off to the side a bit. "Nothing like a good Zoerbian naval chair" He sat down with a slight noise. "Solid oak, tough, reliable. Nothing better to sit on in the bridge of a cruiser during a long patrol."
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"War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can't smile, grin. If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can" -Winston Churchill
"My god, it finally happened, Taiwan is invading China!" - Amaniachelmetjohnpi about LWU declaring war on 10000 Islands

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Unibot
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Postby Unibot » Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:30 am

Sedgistan wrote:Cedric beamed at the newcomer -- finally, a well-dressed gentleman, and maybe even one who would tip -- he would be getting the proper service. Cedric reached below the bar for a sparklingly clean glass stamped with "World Assembly Strangers' Bar" and poured out a whisky. Handing it over, he ushered Clive towards the plush sofas and carpeted floors of the roped-off VIP area. Smirking, he turned back to face Eduard, hoping he'd been watching.


Eduard gave a subtle nod in Cedric's general direction.

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Lucious Tempest
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Ex-Nation

Postby Lucious Tempest » Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:26 am

more RP? Must we put up with that here too? :palm:

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Sedgistan
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Postby Sedgistan » Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:30 am

Lucious Tempest wrote:more RP? Must we put up with that here too? :palm:

OOC & Modly: There has been RPing in the SC since it's inception. Not much, but still some - and yes, it is allowed. Spam isn't, though - so I suggest you refrain from posting here unless you actually intend to participate in the thread.

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Unibot
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Postby Unibot » Tue Dec 14, 2010 6:58 pm

Kuno having taken the red-eye monorail back to the SCHQ had fit in fairly nice with the other homeless politicians, stinkin' of gin. Kuno arrived at the 3WB --already properly pissed-- with a sack of stolen glassware swung over his back.

"*like* Merry Christmas! Here's another bag of loot *hic*!" Kuno drunkly exclaimed as he dropped the massive bag against the ground rather harshly for a sack full of glass.

Eduard directed Kuno outside -- politely explaining to him that the pub was not a large urinal. Kuno hesitantly obliged. After shoving the teenage drunk back outside into the blizzard, Eduard ran over to Cedric mirthfully.

"WE'VE DONE IT!" Eduard shouted, "now all we need is a few cans of paint and um, some more lighting, a piano ... oh yeah and some customers!"

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Naivetry
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Left-wing Utopia

Postby Naivetry » Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:01 pm

Christine d'Avignon wandered into the bar, dragging an old rag doll by its arm. "What do you think, Francois?" she whispered to the doll. Francois's button eyes stared back at her silently, and she nodded in agreement. "Me too. Maybe they know where Mommy is." Christine looked around wide-eyed, thumb in her mouth, before walking over to the long counter. She stared at the seat of the nearest stool, just at her eye level, then placed Francois carefully on the chair next to it and climbed on top. A young man stood behind the counter talking to someone else, who was gesturing excitedly and shouting. Christine waited patiently for him to finish before tugging on Cedric's sleeve. "Could I have a ginger beer, please?" she asked, solemnly. "And Francois will have milk." She turned to Francois and shook her head at him. "Shh. You know it's good for you."

Christine looked around the room again, then added, "And have you seen Mommy? I thought she might be here. She went away when they built the wall."

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Unibot
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Postby Unibot » Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:26 pm

Naivetry wrote:Christine d'Avignon wandered into the bar, dragging an old rag doll by its arm. "What do you think, Francois?" she whispered to the doll. Francois's button eyes stared back at her silently, and she nodded in agreement. "Me too. Maybe they know where Mommy is." Christine looked around wide-eyed, thumb in her mouth, before walking over to the long counter. She stared at the seat of the nearest stool, just at her eye level, then placed Francois carefully on the chair next to it and climbed on top. A young man stood behind the counter talking to someone else, who was gesturing excitedly and shouting. Christine waited patiently for him to finish before tugging on Cedric's sleeve. "Could I have a ginger beer, please?" she asked, solemnly. "And Francois will have milk." She turned to Francois and shook her head at him. "Shh. You know it's good for you."

Christine looked around the room again, then added, "And have you seen Mommy? I thought she might be here. She went away when they built the wall."


Eduard squinted, "I don't know how to tell you this, but -- Mommy is behind Kandarin now. I think."

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Mahaj WA Seat
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Postby Mahaj WA Seat » Tue Dec 28, 2010 3:04 pm

Mr. V walked into the bar, his Mahaj badge gleaming proudly on his shirt. He had studied a lot of history, and felt he knew a good deal, but he still thought that he could learn something by being here. Proudly, but also a little tentatively, he walked up to the bar and took a seat. "I'll have a shot of good old whiskey", he said.
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Sedgistan
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Postby Sedgistan » Tue Dec 28, 2010 3:20 pm

Cedric appeared from a trapdoor behind the bar, carrying a large axe and the still dripping head of what appeared to be a reindeer. Turning around and noticing the assembled customers, he started.

"Er, sorry about the delay chaps and... um... children. Drinks on the house whilst I get this head mounted on the wall. Hey - I don't suppose anyone around here has a hammer?"

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St George of England
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Postby St George of England » Wed Dec 29, 2010 4:23 am

Fourth in line to the throne, Princess-Regent Sarah Naismith-Smith, walked into the bar, fresh from her first day as WA Delegate from the Imperial English Empire and it's region. She looked around, nodding approvingly.

"Not unlike King's Rock." She said to herself, removing a hammer from her bag and passing it to Cedric. "A rum and coke, when you're ready, sir."
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Bears Armed
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bears Armed » Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:32 am

A passing Ursine wanders into this bar, looks around, and then decides that despite the extra distance involved they'd really rather get their drink in the Strangers' Bar instead...

^_^
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Sedgistan
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Postby Sedgistan » Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:23 pm

Cedric raised the shutters, and sighed. It had been a long, cold and lonely winter, and the Security Council had grown dusty and quiet. Ambassadors had been off skating on the frozen lake, building obscene snowmen (and women... and animals), and taking the monorail to marvel at the Never Ending Abortion Debate of the General Assembly.

A meagre few proposals had made it to vote, and even less of them had passed. The Chamber had been mainly deserted, as a few dry old representatives waffled on through the nights, enjoying their time in the spotlight. The Bar had been even quieter, especially since the bear sighting, which had scared off the more timid of the delegates. Even the temporary disappearance of the rarely-sober Unibotian ambassador had failed to raise a stir.

Something had to happen to bring the crowds back to the once busy Chamber. But what could it be - even Nazi proposals seemed to get little attention these days. Then, an idea stuck Cedric. One so brilliant, he was amazed he had never thought of it before. What event had turned the Security Council from an idyllicly peaceful backwater to a raging maelstrom of activity? It was obvious - he would have to build another wall.

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Unibot II
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Postby Unibot II » Sun Mar 06, 2011 8:38 pm

Sedgistan wrote:Something had to happen to bring the crowds back to the once busy Chamber. But what could it be - even Nazi proposals seemed to get little attention these days. Then, an idea stuck Cedric. One so brilliant, he was amazed he had never thought of it before. What event had turned the Security Council from an idyllicly peaceful backwater to a raging maelstrom of activity? It was obvious - he would have to build another wall.


"Ah, fuck no" Eduard said as he entered into the pub, with no social commentary intended whatsoever by the vulgar statement.

Eduard was flustered, "I meant my watch... it's broken.. that's what I was referring to.. see... I promise.", Eduard pointed to his watch, which had been broken, twenty future years in the future.

Eduard, now well liquored up on scotch and drambuie from the other watering-hole across the pond, didn't bother explaining why his hair was covered with vomit or why he was wearing no shirt in the middle of winter. He clumsily stepped over one of the homeless people, as he made his way to the counter.

Heir waved, "Um.. a rusty nail in one of those nice glasses..please, Ced. What's up with you lately? Business always seems a little.. diminutive, during the .. eh, post-holiday season.. busy time of year, I suppose." Eduard lied unconvincingly with a false cheery tone.
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Mahaj
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Postby Mahaj » Fri Jul 29, 2011 10:06 am

Bhai Kha walked into the rundown building. He had barely found this, and even then, he wasn't sure how he found it. Something involving hidden alleys, a brick wall, and a couple of trash cans.

Oh lord, not another run-down building, he thought. He'd seen quite a lot of those.

He walked inside and looked around. He didn't see anyone. It was quiet. Too quiet. Something was wrong. He looked around, and peeked behind the bar counter. He saw some posterboard, some markers, some old drinks, and a fridge and freezer, along with a microwave and some other stuff. He opened the fridge and looked at some of the stuff. He sniffed it.

Putrid, he thought. I could make this into a drink or two.

He donned a cap he found on the side, which had a naked angel and the words 'bartender'.

Odd, he thought. It remind me of someone, but I can't for the life of me think who....

He grabbed the posterboard and took a marker. He wrote on the board "Now Open For Business" and put it on the door.

He stood behind the counter and made himself a drink, all the while hoping that someone would see the bar and pop in.
Last edited by Mahaj on Fri Jul 29, 2011 10:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
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<+frattastan> Because his region was never raided.
<+maxbarry> EarthAway: I guess I might dabble in raiding just to experience it better, but I would not like to raid regions of natives, so I'd probably be more interested in defense and liberations

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The Wary Walrus
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Ex-Nation

Postby The Wary Walrus » Fri Jul 29, 2011 10:47 am

Walter the Wary Walrus slowly slid into the abandoned building, drawn by the scent of putrid alcohol. After his recent dispute with Eduard Heir in the Stranger's Bar he carried a jar of valuable urine in a knapsack around his neck, and had decided to find another spot to find a drink. He waddled over to the man wearing the strange hat and inquired:
OROOOOOO ROOOH OROOH OROOH ROOOOO

His translator, holding a cloth to his face to block out the stench gave a muffled translation

"So I don't suppose you're serving anything particularly special around here? I'm a bit Wary about going back to the Stranger's Bar right now..."
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And his translator, [name withheld due to irrelevance].

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Mahaj
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Ex-Nation

Postby Mahaj » Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:10 pm

The Wary Walrus wrote:Walter the Wary Walrus slowly slid into the abandoned building, drawn by the scent of putrid alcohol. After his recent dispute with Eduard Heir in the Stranger's Bar he carried a jar of valuable urine in a knapsack around his neck, and had decided to find another spot to find a drink. He waddled over to the man wearing the strange hat and inquired:
OROOOOOO ROOOH OROOH OROOH ROOOOO

His translator, holding a cloth to his face to block out the stench gave a muffled translation

"So I don't suppose you're serving anything particularly special around here? I'm a bit Wary about going back to the Stranger's Bar right now..."

Bhai smiled.

"Nothing really much yet, why, you want something special?"
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<@Eluvatar> Why is SkyDip such a purist raiderist
<+frattastan> Because his region was never raided.
<+maxbarry> EarthAway: I guess I might dabble in raiding just to experience it better, but I would not like to raid regions of natives, so I'd probably be more interested in defense and liberations

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The Wary Walrus
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Postby The Wary Walrus » Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:24 pm

The translator's eyes widened in terror and he shook his head in the negative as he spoke to Walter, but Walter the Wary Walrus nodded happily and proclaimed
OROO ROOH OROOOH ROH

The translator winced and said with a resigned look on his face:
"Well I see some rather interesting concoctions in that fridge over there... Try giving me something interesting! Something with a little kick."
The translator pulled Bhai aside and spoke urgently
'If you give him any thing to drink he'll stay until you run out of drinks! He'll literally drink your bar dry! He raided Lazarus once and drank the entire warehouse full of drinks that they have!'
Walter slid around happily on the grimy floor and hummed gently to himself
OROH ROOH OROOOH OROO
Walter the Wary Walrus, representing the nation of The Wary Walrus, a proud member of The Skeleton Army.

And his translator, [name withheld due to irrelevance].

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Todd McCloud
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Postby Todd McCloud » Fri Jul 29, 2011 8:16 pm

Braiiiins... braiiiiins!" shouted the zombies.

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The Wary Walrus
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Postby The Wary Walrus » Fri Jul 29, 2011 8:28 pm

Walter the Wary Walrus clubbed Todd on the head and threw him out the door, then returned to looking expectantly at the man in the strange hat.
Walter the Wary Walrus, representing the nation of The Wary Walrus, a proud member of The Skeleton Army.

And his translator, [name withheld due to irrelevance].

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