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[DRAFT] Commend The East Pacific

A chamber dedicated to the dissemination of inter-regional peace and goodwill, via force if necessary.
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Oh my Days
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[DRAFT] Commend The East Pacific

Postby Oh my Days » Sat Aug 07, 2010 6:38 am

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Commend The East Pacific

A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.

Category: Commendation | Nominee: The East Pacific | Proposed by: Oh my Days


Description: The Security Council,

NOTING The East Pacific's status as a "feeder" region, where new nations are spawned;

RECOGNISING the difficulties this status brings, as the region has a high turnover and must deal with adspam;

SHUDDERING at TEP's past as an Empire, controlled by an elite few;

LAUDING the fantastic work that has transformed TEP into a democracy;

PRAISING the open style of Government, which follows the Executive, Legislative and Judicial structure laid out in the region's Concordat;

DELIGHTING in the friendly and welcoming atmosphere that TEP upholds;

APPLAUDING the inclusive manner which Todd McCloud and subsequently Lady Edea have maintained whilst stewarding the region, resulting in TEP's transformation from least active to most active "feeder" region, since the fall of the Empire;

ADMIRING the variety in TEP, where roleplayers and gameplayers exist happily side by side;

HOPING that a Security Council Commendation will spur them on to achieve even more;

HEREBY Commends The East Pacific.


I've got two legality concerns, whether or not it's okay to say TEP rather than using a link, and whether or not it's okay to talk about roleplayers and gameplayers. Other than that, I think it's fine, but I'm open to suggestions for how to extend it.
Last edited by Oh my Days on Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Bears Armed
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Postby Bears Armed » Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:08 am

I'm pretty sure that mentioning 'adspam' breaks Rule 4...
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Omigodtheykilledkenny
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Postby Omigodtheykilledkenny » Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:16 am

Not to mention "feeder," "gameplayers" and "roleplayers."
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Oh my Days
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Postby Oh my Days » Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:31 am

Nations can post adverts too, so I don't see what's wrong with adspam. It is perhaps too colloquial for a resolution by an international governing body, but then advertisements would do fine.

If the mods don't like "feeder", then they really need to come up with an alternative, as it is not something that we can avoid. [EDIT] I suppose "Pacific" would do, but there are regions like North Pacific, which can claim to be Pacifics.[/EDIT] Likewise with "roleplayers" and "gameplayers", because "different cultures" wouldn't really suffice, as it would appear to refer to the different cultures of the people in an internet community, which would be a pointless thing to Commend, as all internet communities are made up of people from different cultures.
Last edited by Oh my Days on Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:46 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Omigodtheykilledkenny
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Postby Omigodtheykilledkenny » Sat Aug 07, 2010 11:00 am

Oh my Days wrote:If the mods don't like "feeder", then they really need to come up with an alternative, as it is not something that we can avoid. [EDIT] I suppose "Pacific" would do, but there are regions like North Pacific, which can claim to be Pacifics.[/EDIT]

"Pacific regions" was the most common suggestion, yes. The vast majority of readers will take it to mean the feeder Pacifics, not the user-created ones.

Likewise with "roleplayers" and "gameplayers", because "different cultures" wouldn't really suffice, as it would appear to refer to the different cultures of the people in an internet community, which would be a pointless thing to Commend, as all internet communities are made up of people from different cultures.

Then use "different NationStates communities" or "different communities within NationStates". And stop trying to resurrect the R4 debates; I'm beginning to think it's the only reason you posted this.
Last edited by Omigodtheykilledkenny on Sat Aug 07, 2010 11:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Oh my Days
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Postby Oh my Days » Sat Aug 07, 2010 11:22 am

Thanks, I'll use "Pacific regions" and "different NationStates communities". And no, I'm not trying to resurrect the Rule 4 debates, but I will point it out if Rule 4 gets in my way. If you must know my motivation for posting a Commendation now, I wanted something that would be voted through and break up some of the anger surrounding Rule 4. I'm worried that it might be a lot harder to pass SC resolutions in future and think that a Commendation for an overwhelmingly popular nominee might help that. I was going to rewrite Commend Naivetry, but she wants some time to consider her position on the SC.
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Kandarin
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Postby Kandarin » Sat Aug 07, 2010 3:50 pm

I have a lot of admiration for Lady Edea (DFD), but putting her name (or that of any previous delegate) on a Commend TEP would go against the spirit of the reforms she has championed, which are largely responsible for the revitalization of TEP. TEP has abandoned the great-man theory of leadership to teach instead the importance of the contributions of every citizen, titled or no. Immortalizing the names of past delegates would suggest something counter to what has made it great.
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Postby Ardchoille » Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:31 pm

You don't need to say "feeder"; you've defined it. This would be legal:

NOTING The East Pacific's status as a region where new nations are spawned


Then, when you get to the next clause where you want to use "feeder", just say,

resulting in TEP's transformation from the least active to the most active such region since the fall of the Empire;


The "such" links grammatically to the definition given earlier in the proposal.

Note, this works for this proposal. Other phrasing will work for other proposals. I'm not saying everyone from this moment on has to talk about the feeders as "regions where nations are spawned".

("Spawn" sounds a bit odd to me, but that's just because I associate it with frogs -- eww, frogspawn. There's nothing wrong with it as a metaphor. People could say universities "spawned" new nations, if the people who ended up leading the independence movements of former colonies learned their politics there. Or somebody or other's vision "spawned" the new version of [insert nation name].)

Using links to a nation or region opens the possibility -- without ever saying so -- that you're actually aiming at the player-behind (your links to Todd and Lady Edea, for example). Since you're not trying to do that in the case of TEP (like, it really is the region you're commending) you don't need to link to it to be legal.

As for "roleplayers" and "gameplayers", those terms are definitely out. But in most cases all you have to do is say what such players do in an NS sense, rather than use the name you call them by. I'm not going to give examples, because the descriptions will vary with each proposal, depending on whether you're commending or condemning. Your "NationStates communities" works fine.

Adspam ... yeah, go for "advertisements". You want to get across the idea that they have a heavy volume of advertisements (since that's what spam largely is), so say that -- "has a high turnover and is therefore constantly bombarded by advertisements"' "Has a high turnover, resulting in an excessive number of ..." ... c'mon, you work something out.
Last edited by Ardchoille on Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Oh my Days
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Postby Oh my Days » Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:56 am

Thanks, Ard, I'll work those changes into another draft.

I was speaking to Kandy last night, and he suggested that a Commendation would have a greater effect if it was short and simple, making new nations more likely to stay there. It would be more difficult to pass, but it's worth considering something like this:

Image
Commend The East Pacific

A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.

Category: Commendation | Nominee: The East Pacific | Proposed by: Oh my Days


Description: The Security Council,

NOTING the fact that The East Pacific allows different communities to co-exist;

IMPRESSED by the way in which it became a democracy;

ENCOURAGING the increased activity in The East Pacific;

PRAISING its strong government;

HOPING that a Commendation will help them do even better in future;

HEREBY Commends The East Pacific.


It's simplistic, but the idea is that more new players will read it, and hence get more involved. It could backfire if it gets voted down as a result, though. The idea is based on Kandy's experience after receiving a Commendation: he found it easier to get endorsements, but Todd didn't, presumably because Todd's Commendation was much more detailed.
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Postby Fyrdowsi » Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:48 am

Go OMD!! :lol:

Nevertheless, I do have concerns should the commendation be turned down. New players or players unexposed to The East Pacific may take a vote-down as a sign of distrust, or maybe a sign of larger-than-life recommendation.
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Oh my Days
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Postby Oh my Days » Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:02 am

Thanks :)

I don't think that a failed vote would negatively impact the region, but I do think that it would harm the chances of another Commendation being passed. Ultimately, I'm going to have to choose between them based on public reaction, but it's difficult to gauge. The best idea I've had was to go around a series of offsite forums and see what people think.
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Postby Embolalia » Sun Aug 08, 2010 10:17 am

I like it. Simple, inarguable. The SC needs more proposals like this.
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Postby Demphor » Sun Aug 08, 2010 4:14 pm

I agree with you. its very smart and gets to the point

:palm: ugh, why couldn't i think of stuff like this :palm:
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Postby Ardchoille » Sun Aug 08, 2010 5:51 pm

It'll be interesting to see what happens. For a very well-known subject, it should work, though I don't think it would have a hope for an unknown.

I thought at first SC proposals might develop a different format from GA proposals, but I guess it's a case of form follows function. Writers seem to find the clause-by-clause layout just too clear and convenient to pass up.

And it does preserve us from Executive Summary-style bullet-points. :p
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Postby Sedgistan » Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:28 pm

Oh my Days wrote:
Image
Commend The East Pacific

A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.

Category: Commendation | Nominee: The East Pacific | Proposed by: Oh my Days


Description: The Security Council,

NOTING the fact that The East Pacific allows different communities to co-exist;

IMPRESSED by the way in which it became a democracy;

ENCOURAGING the increased activity in The East Pacific;

PRAISING its strong government;

HOPING that a Commendation will help them do even better in future;

HEREBY Commends The East Pacific.

I really don't like this, actually. You haven't noted anything at all in the resolution that is particularly special about TEP. Plenty of regions have different communities within them, are democracies, are active, and have strong governments - its not unique at all.

This resolution is just being proposed to try and get a 'feel-good factor' back to the SC, so that another attempt can be made to repeal Condemn Nazi Europe. Much as I want to see that repealed, trying to push through a bland and worthless proposal to help it on its way is not something I could support.

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Postby Topid » Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:54 pm

Sedgistan wrote:This resolution is just being proposed to try and get a 'feel-good factor' back to the SC, so that another attempt can be made to repeal Condemn Nazi Europe. Much as I want to see that repealed, trying to push through a bland and worthless proposal to help it on its way is not something I could support.

What? :?
Sedgistan wrote:I really don't like this, actually. You haven't noted anything at all in the resolution that is particularly special about TEP. Plenty of regions have different communities within them, are democracies, are active, and have strong governments - its not unique at all.

Sedge is right... There isn't a doubt about it that TEP is the best Feeder, and one of the best regions of all time... But we need to find a way to make that apparent in the resolution.

I look forward to Commend TEP.
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Postby Ballotonia » Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:23 am

The short version doesn't state anything specific. That resolution could be about any region! With it being so bland and uninformative, I'd have to vote against it.

Don't expect the rest of NS to know how great TEP apparently is. I certainly do not. Last time I dropped by there Loop was still in charge ;)

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Postby Darkesia » Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:28 am

Description: The Security Council,

NOTING the fact that The West Pacific allows different communities to co-exist;

IMPRESSED by the way in which it became a democracy;

ENCOURAGING the increased activity in The West Pacific;

PRAISING its strong government;

HOPING that a Commendation will help them do even better in future;

HEREBY Commends The West Pacific.


We want one too! :p

I have to agree with those saying that this version tells me absolutely nothing that makes TEP unique. You can fill in any region at all and it fits. Even the dreaded Gateville could qualify under this general format.
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Postby Todd McCloud » Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:19 pm

I would have to agree with Sedge, Dark, Ball, and Topid here. Short ones are interesting, but it could be a bit more specific.

I won't comment about the details of it, though - that's up for the author to decide. I would feel a little weird telling him or her how to commend a region I'm in. But that's just me XD
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Postby Unibot » Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:30 pm

Image
Commend The East Pacific

A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.

Category: Commendation | Nominee: The East Pacific | Proposed by: Oh my Days


Description: The Security Council,

NOTING the fact that The East Pacific allows different communities to co-exist;

IMPRESSED by the way in which it became a democracy;

ENCOURAGING the increased activity in The East Pacific;

PRAISING its strong government;

HOPING that a Commendation will help them do even better in future;

HEREBY Commends The East Pacific.


To be perfectly honest, this is insulting to people who put effort in writing proposals.

NOTING the fact that The East Pacific allows different communities to co-exist;


NOTING that if they didn't we'd probably condemn their little ignorant arses.

IMPRESSED by the way in which it became a democracy;


Eh? What way? We shouldn't probably get in the habit of being impressed by something without saying what was impressive... IMPRESSED by something about Unibot's Enormous Dildo... for example.

ENCOURAGING the increased activity in The East Pacific;


Oh, you certainly are encouraging traffic in the East Pacific with a commendation, that doesn't mean that the Security Council won't resent you for using its venerable system as just another recruitment tool.

PRAISING its strong government;


Political stability is overrated when it provides nothing but security, what has the government of the East Pacific ensured? What sets them apart?

HOPING that a Commendation will help them do even better in future;


How? Pardon me, but it's a badge not a magical amulet. You could at-least explain how this is going to help them do 'even' better in the undefined future.

EDIT: Whoa, five in the morning snarkiness ... hehehe, better left for the chaps over at the General Assembly.
Last edited by Unibot on Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby Kandarin » Tue Aug 10, 2010 11:14 am

First of all, there should be little doubt for anyone who has followed feeder goings-on recently that the East Pacific merits a Commendation. In the past two years and especially the last six months the East Pacific has grown and developed into a bastion of good community and good governance. It's become an example that other multifaceted regions should take heed of, which many players from all different aspects of the game have flocked to. It's a Good Thing, and it's worth keeping that way.

On that note it is worth saying that TEP's system is very much a tenuous one. TEP's success has been based on continually engaging the different game communities with one another, as well as continually giving precedence to what works in the present over what has traditionally been done in the past. This is an experiment in society and government that takes a lot of TEPers out of their comfort zones. Intermingling communities has meant intermingling GPers with people who would rather the region remain mainly RP-based, and vice versa. It has meant assimilating a large cast of new people into a region that struggles, like all old regions, with an old-guard mentality. Choosing what works in the present over what worked in the past has often meant that newer TEPers with ideas and activity in the present have received positions over TEPers with extensive pedigrees in the past. Again, this has made a lot of people uncomfortable - many TEPers would prefer that it remain mainly RP-based, or avoid RP and prefer that it would be GP-based. Many TEPers would rather that positions be held by older, established residents and are nervous about newcomers seeking them. Like all feeders, it is jittery about the Delegacy - finding new candidates is tricky, and I know that one former Delegate desires very much to retake the seat and hold it in perpetuity despite the need for regular change. Its success depends on staying in a certain degree of flux, and flux is tricky to maintain.

All of the above may sound like reasons not to Commend the region. Nothing of the sort - I say these things because I have great admiration for the East Pacific and those within it. It is because I admire it that I criticize it freely, trusting that its citizens can take such criticism well. The East Pacific is a daring experiment and I recognize that this poses a genuine difficulty for it. I am not immune to this - I am more of a feeder old-guard member than anyone save perhaps Loop. My point is that the success of the EP experiment is very worthwhile to the game, but requires effort and support to remain so lest it slide to one easy (but stagnant) alternative or another. A Commend would go a long way in recognizing what has been done so far and encouraging it to continue this way - a "Mission Statement" that outlines what makes it good and whose presence is not so tenuous.

To that end, let's consider the form of the resolution. As many people here have said, a C&C ought to fit its recipient. The East Pacific merits Commendation because it is a welcoming place for newcomers, one that contains opportunities for players from all aspects of the game, that does not require them to learn elaborate codes of governance nor a vast and complex history in order to participate, that allows members to get involved at the highest levels unconstrained by seniority (This may sound like something that is a dime a dozen in NS. It's not - I've seen every feeder community and most major user-region community in all of NS history, and regions with such a combination of healthy traits are rare and precious). So the Commend should reflect that. It should be short and to-the-point. It should use language that respects the intelligence of those who read it, but should not be rife with the specialized terminology of any one NS subcommunity. It should not name-drop past events or past leaders, since the reader will not be familiar with them. In short, it should recognize that it will be read by new players, not old players, and so should be a short, welcoming list of positives that are universally recognizable to those new to NS, not a long, intimidating sequence that reads as Things You Should Know Already (and why don't you know them already?!?).

So with all that in mind, a look at the draft as it stands...

NOTING the fact that The East Pacific allows different communities to co-exist;


I know what you're getting at here. TEP has opportunities for NSers of many different playstyles. This is rare. It's always been a constant in NS that RP doesn't communicate with GP doesn't communicate with WA doesn't communicate with General doesn't etc., etc. They're outside of each others' perspective but still have enough overlap that they manage to step on each other's toes unknowingly (or sometimes knowingly, thinking the other playstyle are The Other and they're the mods' favorites and they'll trick the admins into ruining our game if we don't fight for our way of doing things, and, and...). TEP has been able to take steps to move past that division and that is a major reason to Commend it. As it's worded now, it doesn't recognize the importance of that. It doesn't merely allow them to co-exist, it encourages them to work together and reach out. There's probably a better way to word it - but it goes beyond mere tolerance of each others' existence and a Commend should recognize that.

IMPRESSED by the way in which it became a democracy;


Here is a reference to a past event. How did it become a democracy? Readers won't know - and since the readers will be new players, they'll wonder what they missed that they were supposed to have known. (Awcrap, where's the history of the region? Everyone must have seen it but me since this reference it...I'm already behind!) The fact that it is a democracy, too, is not too impressive - you want to highlight the sort of democracy it is. It's an incredibly open democracy, where anyone can hold office and anyone can put policy ideas on the table. It's a democracy where the highest offices change hands regularly and anyone with energy and motivation can make it far. You don't need to say all that, but it should say more than just 'democracy'.

ENCOURAGING the increased activity in The East Pacific;


Again, here is a reference to a past event that readers will be unfamiliar with. Increased relative to what? It is very active now, at the time of reading - it doesn't matter how active it was in the past.

PRAISING its strong government;


Some more detail could go here without making it less succinct. The government isn't just strong, the government is multifaceted and flexible and open to new ideas and any number of other things.

HOPING that a Commendation will help them do even better in future;


This is something that people will see through. The Commendation will have an effect, but if you say right in it what the effect should be, that would make it less effective as people feel propagandized. Something about a Commendation is good - "believing that a region of such quality merits recognition", etc.

You also want a line talking about how TEP is a welcoming place for new nations - that's one of the core reasons to Commend it, it's something not many regions do, and it's something even fewer do well.
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Postby Oh my Days » Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:19 pm

Sedgistan wrote:This resolution is just being proposed to try and get a 'feel-good factor' back to the SC, so that another attempt can be made to repeal Condemn Nazi Europe. Much as I want to see that repealed, trying to push through a bland and worthless proposal to help it on its way is not something I could support.


The resolution is being proposed because TEP deserves a Commendation. It is true that I think a Commendation is needed to break up some of the residual anger in the SC, and it is also true that I think it might help the repeal effort, but I wouldn't nominate an undeserving candidate for Commendation. If I wanted to do a botch job, why would I have bothered writing the first draft?

Ballotonia wrote:The short version doesn't state anything specific. That resolution could be about any region! With it being so bland and uninformative, I'd have to vote against it.

Don't expect the rest of NS to know how great TEP apparently is. I certainly do not. Last time I dropped by there Loop was still in charge ;)

Ballotonia


Why should people have to find out how great it is through the proposal itself? What about their own knowledge, visits to TEP, a detailed OP and a telegram campaign? If there is a good reason to have a shorter proposal (and I think there is), then why not?

Unibot wrote:To be perfectly honest, this is insulting to people who put effort in writing proposals.

Oh, you certainly are encouraging traffic in the East Pacific with a commendation, that doesn't mean that the Security Council won't resent you for using its venerable system as just another recruitment tool.

How? Pardon me, but it's a badge not a magical amulet. You could at-least explain how this is going to help them do 'even' better in the undefined future.


Are you forgetting why we have C&Cs? They are for the nominees, not the proposal authors' egos. C&Cs have been criticised a lot for not having any effect, as they merely place a badge on a nation or region's page, well, Kandarin appears to have identified a possible effect. If the right kind of resolution is passed, nations may be more likely to stay in TEP. The SC is supposedly about disseminating inter-regional goodwill, and part of that is rewarding those who contribute positively. Is that more or less important than having another pretty resolution on the SC's books?

Okay, let's look at another draft:

The Security Council,

ADMIRING the diverse environment of The East Pacific, where different communities are encouraged to work together;

APPLAUDING its incredible transformation from an empire to an extremely open democracy, where all may take part;

ENCOURAGING TEP's high levels of activity;

PRAISING the strong government, where the executive, legislature and judiciary all work in an open manner with the citizenry;

ASSERTING that TEP thoroughly deserves an official Commendation, particularly for its welcoming attitude to new nations;

HEREBY Commends The East Pacific.


The second draft was off, admittedly, but I think this is better, and might have some of the desired effect. Which one do you prefer?
Citizen of The East Pacific and Osiris

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Unibot
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Posts: 4292
Founded: May 25, 2008
Ex-Nation

Postby Unibot » Wed Aug 11, 2010 6:52 pm

Oh my Days wrote:
Unibot wrote:To be perfectly honest, this is insulting to people who put effort in writing proposals.

Oh, you certainly are encouraging traffic in the East Pacific with a commendation, that doesn't mean that the Security Council won't resent you for using its venerable system as just another recruitment tool.

How? Pardon me, but it's a badge not a magical amulet. You could at-least explain how this is going to help them do 'even' better in the undefined future.


Are you forgetting why we have C&Cs? They are for the nominees, not the proposal authors' egos. C&Cs have been criticised a lot for not having any effect, as they merely place a badge on a nation or region's page, well, Kandarin appears to have identified a possible effect. If the right kind of resolution is passed, nations may be more likely to stay in TEP. The SC is supposedly about disseminating inter-regional goodwill, and part of that is rewarding those who contribute positively. Is that more or less important than having another pretty resolution on the SC's books?


You think submitting something with nearly 0% effort put into it is honoring a nominee? Who are you commending, Jimmy Hart!? (Actually I think he's a saint.)

In a post Rule IV SC, I've come to the conclusion, at-least philosophically, that a nominee doesn't need a commendation to validate to themselves what they've contributed (via a NS Resume Style Commendation), and a proposal author certainly doesn't need an ego boost.. what commendations are truly for, are to show the next generation of NSers how to be a great player by example. It's however an honor to be selected as such an example, I'm sure.
Last edited by Unibot on Wed Aug 11, 2010 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Kandarin
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Founded: Antiquity
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Kandarin » Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:53 pm

Why should people have to find out how great it is through the proposal itself? What about their own knowledge, visits to TEP, a detailed OP and a telegram campaign? If there is a good reason to have a shorter proposal (and I think there is), then why not?


The thing to remember here is the context in which the proposal will be viewed. Most user regions steer clear of the feeders except for recruiting, and recruiters won't especially care about this. Some user regions do maintain contact with TEP through embassies, dual citizenship, more cosmopolitan citizens, etc. These regions already know what TEP is like through members with experience with it and opinions on it; they don't need a detailed explanation because they have something better. The context for the overwhelming majority of viewings of this resolution will be players who just created a nation and found it in the East Pacific.

That's the audience that this resolution will reach. And it's an audience that a lot of NSers approach badly. The overwhelming impression that feeders and Gameplay regions send is one of impenetrability - World Factbook Entries referencing specialist terminology, long, garish telegram ads obviously sent by bots, regional message boards full of said ads or specialist terminology - to say nothing of regional forums that are often Extremely Paranoid about letting people join. That's why TEP uses quirky, themed, but straightforward WFEs, light and friendly (and spam-killing) chatter on the RMB, and a forum that lets you see the whole thing as a guest and doesn't have security checkpoints to register. And it works - TEP has been far more successful and welcoming as a result. A Commend that explained in lengthy detail the point-by-point virtues of TEP would not fit the recipient, and indeed would defeat its purpose; much of what makes TEP welcoming, open and diverse (and thus Commendable) has been a matter of making the first things that new people see highly accessible without experience or advanced knowledge of the game*. Adding a new item on the TEP page that breaks the cycle would diminish the very reason for Commending the region.

With that in mind, the resolution's brevity is a sign of effort, not a lack of effort. Were this a resolution meant to be viewed in a specialized context by veteran players, further specialized explanation would be a Good Thing (see: Condemn Kenny, Commend Sedge, Commend AO, most RP C&Cs). But it's a resolution meant to be viewed by newbies, in the context of - and written about - a region renowned for making things accessible and cross-cultural with handholding and required reading kept to a minimum. It's short because short fits, not to minimize effort in writing it.

Of course, there is the concern that most folks who have commented in this thread are probably thinking of when reading this - making it fit the subject matter and the target audience is nice, but the target audience isn't the electorate being asked to vote on this! And yes, most of the NS world is in the dark on goings-on in TEP. That's why the TG campaign promoting the proposal ought to come with a more extensive explanation of why TEP is commendable, along with a URL for this thread. I had a great deal of success communicating the nuances behind "Condemn DFD" via a similar technique in campaigning for that resolution. A TG campaign can do likewise in explaining to the wider NS world why TEP deserves a Commend - without burdening the proposal itself with language that will be detrimental to the audience in the event that it actually passes.

That said, another look at the draft:

The Security Council,

ADMIRING the diverse environment of The East Pacific, where different communities are encouraged to work together;

APPLAUDING its incredible transformation from an empire to an extremely open democracy, where all may take part;

ENCOURAGING TEP's high levels of activity;

PRAISING the strong government, where the executive, legislature and judiciary all work in an open manner with the citizenry;

ASSERTING that TEP thoroughly deserves an official Commendation, particularly for its welcoming attitude to new nations;

HEREBY Commends The East Pacific.


The empire bit is still a historical "Wha?"; that said, the rest of the line is good and could work fine without it ("APPLAUDING its incredible transformation to an extremely open democracy, where all may take part")

As far as "high levels of activity" go, the word Activity carries nuances for NS veterans, particularly of the Gameplay variety, that isn't apparent to newbies. The line would be immediately recognizable to the first group but not so much the second. "ENCOURAGING" still is self-referential to the resolution, too. Something like "ENCOURAGED by the friendly and vibrant community of nations in TEP".

---

* There's a tendency I've observed in the Gameplay community to expect complex NS knowledge and experience from newbies as often as not. This fits with the narrative that's been circulating in that community for quite some time - the notion that the game is dying, new players are drying up, and thus someone new who shows promise is very likely to be someone old in disguise. While there have been some dramatic examples of genuine ruses, for the most part I don't believe it. A very large proportion of new nations are indeed puppets of older players, created for invader and defender ends, but there's still a phenomenal amount of new players coming in. Effective regions recognize this in recruiting methods. Indeed, one of the reasons for the fall of the aforementioned empire in TEP was that they missed that; they took a swing at what they thought were defender agents posing as ground-level local opposition and wound up hitting actual ground-level local opposition and tanking their PR in ways that an underpopulated view of NS didn't recognize as possible.

EDIT: Screwed up my quote tags.
Last edited by Kandarin on Fri Aug 13, 2010 11:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
I wish I remember who wrote:Games like Nationstates are like a big cardboard box, and there are two kinds of people in the world. The kind who look at the empty void inside the box and ask "Where the hell is it?" and the kind who jump into the box with their friends and make it into a fort, or a spaceship.

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Ardchoille
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Posts: 9842
Founded: Apr 18, 2004
Democratic Socialists

Postby Ardchoille » Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:22 am

Kandarin wrote:The thing to remember here is the context in which the proposal will be viewed.


Yeah. Just remember Nerv, when we were talking about the word "feeder":

NERVUN wrote:<snip>I didn't know what it meant till I became a Mod and had seen it used for something. So it was 5 years for me without ever having encountered it.


There's a whole bunch of people like that out there who don't see themselves as either RPers or GPers and never go near the Pacifics once they get out of them. But they're Delegates, and can give approvals to proposals.

Approvals are what a proposal needs first. You may be able to swing the actual vote by convincing four or five big-region Delegates, but for getting it to the floor in the first place -- making it votable -- the approval of a three-WA-nation region is just as important as a 450-WA-nation region.

So you're going to have to give a bit of a clue why TEP's achievements are worth commending. The name "TEP" isn't an argument by itself. But give them too much detail and they'll choke and just ignore it.
Last edited by Ardchoille on Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
Ideological Bulwark #35
The more scandalous charges were suppressed; the vicar of Christ was accused only of piracy, rape, sodomy, murder and incest. -- Edward Gibbon on the schismatic Pope John XXIII (1410–1415).

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