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[Draft] DOGE: A New Breed of Government Efficiency?

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9003
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Compulsory Consumerist State

[Draft] DOGE: A New Breed of Government Efficiency?

Postby 9003 » Tue Jan 21, 2025 7:27 pm

Lets see how this goes! I tried once before and dropped my draft but this time I've gotten a better idea or at least I like it more! Please let me know what every one thinks. I don't remember however if I can name ministers or not in the issue part.


Title: DOGE: A New Breed of Government Efficiency?
The issue:
Your Minister of Bureaucracy, Red Tape, and Unnecessarily Long Acronyms (MoBRTULA) bursts into your office interrupting the announcement from your Minister of Rather long and Rather Boring Titles Who Brings Word of all Other Ministers Before they Burst into your Office to Propose the Founding of a New Agency,(MoRLRBTWBWOMBBOPFNA) just to tell you about the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), to facilitate less bureaucracy and cut through red tape. The public and policymakers are barking about what this could mean for the future of governance in @@NATION@@.

Option 1:
"Efficiency is life to governance," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a staunch proponent of the plan and self-proclaimed watchdog to the government. "With DOGE, we can eliminate redundant departments, and reduce waste, and tax funds can be used with laser pointer-like precision. Yes, this may mean some layoffs and restructuring growing pains, but in the end, everyone is better off. I mean really who needs all of these ministries"
Effect: The government becomes terrifyingly efficient… at doing whatever the new boss wants.

Option 2:
"Another government agency to fix inefficiency? Isn't that just chasing its own tail?" growls @@RANDOMNAME@@, a libertarian policy advisor. "DOGE is just another layer of bureaucracy dressing itself up as a quick fix. Let's cut out the blowhard departments, not introduce new ones. A smaller government is an efficient government."
Effect: Merged departments leave farmers planning space missions.

Option 3:
"DOGE sounds like a great idea," stammers @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the Public Workers Union, fidgeting nervously with a stack of papers. "But we… uhhh… should take care not to push anyone out unfairly. Let's focus on … voluntary retirement so that we can easily implement this policy without affecting livelihoods."
Effect: Government employees are forced to attend seminars about "the future of efficiency."

Option 4:
"DOGEs are so adorable, but hear me out—what if we let AI handle everything?" gushes @@RANDOMNAME@@, a starry-eyed tech enthusiast. "Humans make mistakes, but computers? Never! Let’s replace bureaucrats with cutting-edge algorithms and finally achieve a flawless, efficient government!"
Effect: A glitch declares every Monday a "Paw-blic Holiday."

Option 5:
"DOGE is just a ruse to centralize authority," says @@RANDOMNAME@@", a conspiracy theorist waving a crumpled dossier embossed with a large red classified logo. "This government doesn't need streamlining, it needs transparency and accountability! Let's go the other way- doubling down on independent watchdogs!"
Effect: Every department gets an oversight committee, including an oversight committee oversight committee.
Last edited by 9003 on Tue Jan 28, 2025 5:29 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Kasdados
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Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Kasdados » Tue Jan 21, 2025 7:33 pm

Great draft, but I a suggestion - a big-government liberal, establishment politician, Democratic stand-in who hates it. They’ll claim that it’ll impede upon the needs of the common citizen, this this will impede upon the governments authority to protect the common citizen from themselves, and that the government actually needs more bureaucracy as to continue its regulation. Essentially - same as the last man in principle, but departments rather than watchdogs.
Last edited by Kasdados on Tue Jan 21, 2025 7:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Exania
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Exania » Wed Jan 22, 2025 1:45 pm

I think its a good draft overall. Like the above poster I also have a bit of an option suggestion. I think one of the most common real-life criticism of DOGE is it being a way to give an unelected official (Elon Musk) a substantial amount of power. I guess option 5 is the most similar to this. From what I see, lots the of real-life opposition to DOGE doesn't really have anything to do with the concept of 'government efficiency' but rather the idea that that department itself isn't, for lack of a better term, a "good faith" attempt at reducing inefficiencies.

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9003
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Founded: Oct 25, 2012
Compulsory Consumerist State

Postby 9003 » Sat Jan 25, 2025 11:10 am

Updated a few options and added a 6th that is based around a single person being in charge of DOGE as a quick way to give one person power.


On the AI option the other option I was thinking
AI achieves perfect efficiency by doing nothing at all.
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Bisofeyr
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Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Bisofeyr » Sat Jan 25, 2025 12:40 pm

DOGE as a name may be too close to the real-world dept it's parodying. May I suggest "Board for Reducing Unnecessary Hiring" (BRUH) as a more distinct parody?
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