Demand all countries free captive pigs (IC/MT)

[Nooobs]

Hi

Many countries are keeping pigs captive in various areas, mostly ranches, and are often killing and eating them! We Nooobs can’t let these atrocities continue, and we demand that you free all captive pigs if you have any. Additionally, if you need to we will be willing to take pigs in your territory to Nooobland if that works better for you.

Thanks

-Emperor Xoosu

[The Scandoslavic Empire]

CONFIDENTIAL TRANSMISSION - AUTHORIZED ACCESS ONLY

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Joint Transmission | Scandoslavic State Security Agency [BTA] / Office of the President of Scandoslavia | Authorized by People's Council

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Hello, distinguished emperor of the Nooobs.

In response to your request to the international community - no. Absolutely not.
Come back when you have enough reasons.

- Joskev Volydim, President, People's Republic of Scandoslavia

[COMMUNICATION TERMINATED]

[Bomb Country]

In response, Bomb Country is killing random pigs with bombs.

[Pigs 1]

Oinkment of Support


Pigs 1 supports the freeing of pigs in all nations. Pigs are some of the most intelligent and loving creatures in the world, yet they are subject to factory farming as well as other harmful agricultural practices that are detrimental not only to pigs, but the world entire. We in Pigs 1 believe that pigs are for pets, not breakfast. We also would like to call for an end to 'pig' as a pejorative term - no longer should people be called a 'pig' as an insult. Pigs 1 joins Nooobland in offering to take in pigs that need a good and safe home; we have plenty of warm pigpens available for our pink oinky friends.

Signed,

Wilbur D. Hogg
Chief Pork of Pigs 1

[Nooobs]

In response, Bomb Country is killing random pigs with bombs.

We send a few ships to Bomb Country, which drop off rescue teams who attempt to find pigs who are still alive and sneak them out of the country to Nooobland in their ships.

[Camtropia]

Prime Minister Nathan Anderson sat down to eat breakfast. It was going to be a busy day, so he decided to look at some messages while eating.

The Transport Minister would be late to his morning meeting because he was stuck in traffic? Well, maybe he'll do his job better as a result.

Hastria moving troops to the border? Probably just posturing as usual. He'll sign off on whatever the Defence Minister suggests to do in return later.

Several new civil wars? Oh well, thoughts and prayers to the suffering people of XYZ...

A demand from the "Holy Empire of Nooobs" to "free all captive pigs"? Granted, the gif of a micropig attached was extremely cute - he'll forward it to the family WhatsApp group later - but on the other hand? He looked down at the bacon and eggs on his plate and carried on eating.

[United American Imperium]

Nuh uh, you must face the 23 million soldiers, 100,000 patrol crafts and 34,000 missile armed cruisers.

[Tekniania]

From the office of The Right Honourable, The Speaker of the General Council of Tekniania Falaniku Tamatoa SGC,

We appreciate your demand, however, we must refuse it. Pigs and their meat, alongside many of the products made of pigs, are vital to Tekniania's food and industrial security. They are, to the knowledge of the Department of the Interior, all being kept in safe and comfortable conditions. We thank you for your request once more and hope that peaceful relations can soon be established.

Kind regards,
The office of The Speaker

[Doslonsu]

Doslonsu's Agricultural department has filed a response to this request.

"We respect Nooobland's endeavors, but we cannot heed to them. Meat, from animals such as Cows, Pigs, Sheep, and Chickens are vital to Doslonsu's primary industry, agriculture."
-Doslonsuan Agency for Agriculture (DAFA)-

[Kisunemara]

Following careful discourse in the Interim Cabinet and under the guidance of the state think-tank, the Government of the Republic has determined that an act of ‘freeing captive pigs’ on a major scale would not be in our best interests.

However, to appreciate your concern for the well-being of Nature, we will be voluntarily releasing 18 pigs into the wild, albeit neither can the source of these pigs be disclosed, nor can we guarantee their safety after we have dispossessed them.

[European Federal Union]

no

[The Indios Bravos]

INDIOS BRAVOS GLOBAL AFFAIRS
Good morning.
I will say, all of these other messages pampering you and going soft and saying how they simply can't comply, that's just boring. We here in the Archipelago believe that, in response to amateur requests require sub-professional responses.
No, we will not free the bacon. Bacon is good, unlike your people. Your request is immature, very immature. Asking for nations to just give up a significant portion of their food is like asking Cold War America and Russia to just give up and dispose of their nuclear arms. Your request is about as well thought out as an Imperial Japanese kamikaze pilot thinking that his tiny little Zero, thrown off course by countless AA guns, is gonna sink a Montana class battleship. Your request is as stupid as PETA...yeah just about as stupid as PETA, which is very fitting for your request.
Is it even a request? No, it's a whine from a little child that never experienced the joy of eating bacon every breakfast and is now coping by becoming an animal rights activist.
So how about you take your little 2nd grade speech about animal cruelty, throw it in the incinerator, and fuck off, alright? Have a shitty day.
insert video here ig

The attached video was simply a completion of major Indio leaders and officials eating bacon, very much enjoying themselves. The lip smacks, moans, and other sounds of culinary delight were as amplified as possible. At the end of the video was footage of a zoo worker dropping a piglet into an enclosure of a compsognathus pen. The piglet was obviously attempting to fight back, but was paralyzed mere seconds later as the venom from the compies overwhelmed it.

[Nooobs]

INDIOS BRAVOS GLOBAL AFFAIRS
Good morning.
I will say, all of these other messages pampering you and going soft and saying how they simply can't comply, that's just boring. We here in the Archipelago believe that, in response to amateur requests require sub-professional responses.
No, we will not free the bacon. Bacon is good, unlike your people. Your request is immature, very immature. Asking for nations to just give up a significant portion of their food is like asking Cold War America and Russia to just give up and dispose of their nuclear arms. Your request is about as well thought out as an Imperial Japanese kamikaze pilot thinking that his tiny little Zero, thrown off course by countless AA guns, is gonna sink a Montana class battleship. Your request is as stupid as PETA...yeah just about as stupid as PETA, which is very fitting for your request.
Is it even a request? No, it's a whine from a little child that never experienced the joy of eating bacon every breakfast and is now coping by becoming an animal rights activist.
So how about you take your little 2nd grade speech about animal cruelty, throw it in the incinerator, and fuck off, alright? Have a shitty day.
insert video here ig

The attached video was simply a completion of major Indio leaders and officials eating bacon, very much enjoying themselves. The lip smacks, moans, and other sounds of culinary delight were as amplified as possible. At the end of the video was footage of a zoo worker dropping a piglet into an enclosure of a compsognathus pen. The piglet was obviously attempting to fight back, but was paralyzed mere seconds later as the venom from the compies overwhelmed it.

I would kindly like to request you to stop being a bum and actually do research before make up claims about the Nooobs beliefs and why we have them. The Nooobs want to free pigs not because we aren’t able to eat bacon or anything like that, but because they are our kin. Below is the link of the history of the origin of the Nooobs
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=noo ... id=2604649
Not requesting the freeing of pigs for us is like if people of Indios Bravos were being genocided and aten by foreigners, and you didn’t try to help them. We are simply trying to figure out which nations are genociding pigs, and which nations will support our efforts to free them.

[The Indios Bravos]

The attached video was simply a completion of major Indio leaders and officials eating bacon, very much enjoying themselves. The lip smacks, moans, and other sounds of culinary delight were as amplified as possible. At the end of the video was footage of a zoo worker dropping a piglet into an enclosure of a compsognathus pen. The piglet was obviously attempting to fight back, but was paralyzed mere seconds later as the venom from the compies overwhelmed it.

I would kindly like to request you to stop being a bum and actually do research before make up claims about the Nooobs beliefs and why we have them. The Nooobs want to free pigs not because we aren’t able to eat bacon or anything like that, but because they are our kin. Below is the link of the history of the origin of the Nooobs
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=noo ... id=2604649
Not requesting the freeing of pigs for us is like if people of Indios Bravos were being genocided and aten by foreigners, and you didn’t try to help them. We are simply trying to figure out which nations are genociding pigs, and which nations will support our efforts to free them.

Quite frankly we never cared to research your nation but it makes sense now
Seems like we have a really big bacon supplier now

[Antarean Republics]

Simply and kindly put: No, unless given a reasonable reason.

[Park0ur Civilization]

Camman18 uses the WA computer someone brought him through the Minecraft server (that person thought he could get out, he couldn’t) and types this response.

Look.

Usually stuff like this doesn’t involve us in any way, but here it does.

We don’t have the space to create actual farms, so we breed animals on the different levels. The cows, pigs, and chickens who complete the parkour jumps (harder on each level) are cooked and eaten on the level, while the ones that die of fall damage are given to the noobs. We’ve been doing this for hundreds of years, that’s how it works, we don’t have the space to do it any other way, and eating the meat of the animals that can do parkour enhances skills. We are unable to do this, both physically and because it would clash with what works here and what has worked for so long.

Plus, even if we could do it any other way, why would we care what you think? How would you get to us? I doubt any other nations will really do this because they eat pigs too apparently.

[Union of Soviet Sovereign Republiks1]

(Image)

Hi

Many countries are keeping pigs captive in various areas, mostly ranches, and are often killing and eating them! We Nooobs can’t let these atrocities continue, and we demand that you free all captive pigs if you have any. Additionally, if you need to we will be willing to take pigs in your territory to Nooobland if that works better for you.

Thanks

-Emperor Xoosu

The General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union Gennady Zyuganov read the message from the emperor of a country called Nooobs before calling his Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov over as they were eating lunch in the massive Kremlin cafeteria speaking in Russian, "Ey, Sergey, ty dolzhen prochitat' eto zabavnoye soobshcheniye, kotoroye ya tol'ko chto poluchil ot kakogo-to imperatora iz strany pod nazvaniyem Nub. Oni trebuyut, chtoby my otdali vsekh nashikh sviney, inache budut problemy." ("Hey Sergei, you have to read this funny message I just received from some Emperor in a country called Nooob. They demand we hand over all our pigs or there will be trouble.")

Sergei walked over and began reading the note before he began chuckling. After a minute of laughter, he grinned darkly, "Pust' eti ublyudki popytayutsya vtorgnut'sya v Matushku Rossiyu. Oni stolknutsya s moshch'yu Sovetskikh Vooruzhennykh Sil v bitve, kotoruyu oni proigrayut. I frantsuzy, i nemtsy poterpeli neudachu v svoyem vtorzhenii na Rodinu, i to zhe samoye proizoydet s etim Nubom." ("Let those bastards try and and invade Mother Russia. They will be facing the might of the Soviet Armed Forces in a battle which they will lose. Both the French and the Germans failed in their invasion of the Motherland and so will this Nooob.")

[b][i]Official Statement of the Foreign Ministry of the Soviet Union

[/i][/b]

Comrade Xoosa,

The Soviet Union will not free our pig as they are treated humanely and are given the best care possible on our farms.

[Russian Brotherhood]

*Racks gun*

Pathetic, time to commit war crimes!!!

[The Indios Bravos]

INDIOS BRAVOS GLOBAL AFFAIRS
Hello again.
There are rumors spreading around that you have resorted to lethal force to free captive pigs, this violence being targeted especially at noncompliant farmers.
If that is true, please read the following.
You are no longer a respectable bunch. If you are murdering farmers to destroy their livelihoods, there will be consequences. Please refrain, now. These farmers are out here trying to make a living, building their lives and supporting their families in agriculture, and in this case, pig livestock. We understand that you wish to see your bretheren-very tasty-freed. However, these farmers are the backbones of their countries and the skeletons of their families. How do you think little old Emily is gonna feel knowing that her father got drive-by'ed trying to pay for her education?
Sincerely...wait wrong word.
Actually, you don't deserve a proper farewell.
However, if the rumors of you enacting lethal force are wrong, then we apologize.

[Russian Brotherhood]

INDIOS BRAVOS GLOBAL AFFAIRS
Hello again.
There are rumors spreading around that you have resorted to lethal force to free captive pigs, this violence being targeted especially at noncompliant farmers.
If that is true, please read the following.
You are no longer a respectable bunch. If you are murdering farmers to destroy their livelihoods, there will be consequences. Please refrain, now. These farmers are out here trying to make a living, building their lives and supporting their families in agriculture, and in this case, pig livestock. We understand that you wish to see your bretheren-very tasty-freed. However, these farmers are the backbones of their countries and the skeletons of their families. How do you think little old Emily is gonna feel knowing that her father got drive-by'ed trying to pay for her education?
Sincerely...wait wrong word.
Actually, you don't deserve a proper farewell.
However, if the rumors of you enacting lethal force are wrong, then we apologize.

Your MT?

Btw make an OOC