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"there is no safe word"

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Mettaton-EX
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"there is no safe word"

Postby Mettaton-EX » Wed Jan 15, 2025 7:34 pm

this week the new york magazine subsidiary vulture did a deep dive on fantasy author neil gaiman's decades-long pattern of preying on vulnerable younger women, some of which had been previously revealed on a tortoise media podcast last summer, causing the cancellation of several projects he was involved in.

you can read the article here; severe content warning for detailed descriptions of sexual and other abuse

there is a lot to talk about here, such as the correlation between organized religion (especially insulated groups like neil gaiman's scientology) and abuse, gaiman's (and his ex-wife amanda palmer's, who is described as complicit in some of his abuse) exploitation of his façade as a safe progressive feminist, the use of n.d.a.s to silence his victims, etc -- but here's two things i wanted to point out specifically:

Pavlovich was living in a sublet that was about to end. She was broke and hadn’t been able to find a new apartment. She’d been homeless at the start of the pandemic, when the perfumery closed, and had ended up crashing on the beach in a friend’s sleeping bag on and off for the first two weeks of lockdown. The thought of returning to the beach filled her with dread.

Wallner had no income at the time and was borrowing money from her sister to get by. She worried that if she didn’t appease Gaiman, he’d kick her out of her house and then she and her three daughters would have nowhere to go. “‘I like our trade,’” she remembers him saying. “‘You take care of me, and I’ll take care of you.’”

economic abuse like this is extremely common and will only get more common as income inequality continues to increase. serial abusers are very good at identifying (or creating) power differentials that they can leverage against their victims, and this is a very easy power differential for abusers to take advantage of even when they are only moderately wealthier than their targets. how do we as a society start to counteract this?

Sexual abuse is one of the most confusing forms of violence that a person can experience. The majority of people who have endured it do not immediately recognize it as such; some never do. “You’re not thinking in a linear or logical fashion,” Pavlovich says, “but the mind is trying to process it in the ways that it can.” Whatever had happened in the bath, she’d been through worse and survived, she thought. [...] After Palmer’s offer, Pavlovich texted Gaiman: “I am consumed by thoughts of you, the things you will do to me. I’m so hungry. What a terrible creature you’ve turned me into.”

it's really really common for victims to say these kinds of things to their abusers for a ton of different reasons (not recognizing the abuse for what it is, trying to convince oneself, reflexive trauma response, etc); i myself was fawning over my abuser until the last few hours of the relationship. and yet, society routinely leverages these kinds of statements against the victims, casting them as proof they are making things up and/or actually wanted to get abused. i've already seen a scattering of social media sociopaths do this with neil gaiman's victims, and i hope it remains just a scattering, but it is depressing nonetheless. why do we refuse to learn?
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Nea Skotia
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Postby Nea Skotia » Wed Jan 15, 2025 7:42 pm

Another Scamentologist turns out to be a huge creep? I'm shocked. Flabbergasted, I tell you.
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Nanatsu no Tsuki
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Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Wed Jan 15, 2025 7:46 pm

A fucking shame. I used to like Gaiman’s writing. Now? Fuck him.
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Adamede
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Postby Adamede » Wed Jan 15, 2025 7:48 pm

So reading up on this but he would reportedly often rape these women in front of his son.

If true that’s disgusting.

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Nea Skotia
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Postby Nea Skotia » Wed Jan 15, 2025 7:49 pm

Adamede wrote:So reading up on this but he would reportedly often rape these women in front of his son.

If true that’s disgusting.

Ugh, what the fuck? :evil:
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Kreigsreich of Iron
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Postby Kreigsreich of Iron » Wed Jan 15, 2025 7:54 pm

What did he write again?


”A is A”
-Ayn Rand


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Uiiop
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Postby Uiiop » Wed Jan 15, 2025 7:56 pm

Nea Skotia wrote:Another Scamentologist turns out to be a huge creep? I'm shocked. Flabbergasted, I tell you.

This read like a case of someone who left the church but did not want to treat himself from any of the baggage.
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Kreigsreich of Iron
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Postby Kreigsreich of Iron » Wed Jan 15, 2025 7:56 pm

What did Gaiman write again?


”A is A”
-Ayn Rand


NStats are canon.- From the river to the sea, the Jewish people will be free!

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Adamede
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Postby Adamede » Wed Jan 15, 2025 7:56 pm

Kreigsreich of Iron wrote:What did he write again?

Coraline and American Gods are the ones I know of.

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Nu Elysium
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Postby Nu Elysium » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:02 pm

Kreigsreich of Iron wrote:What did Gaiman write again?

Google is your friend.
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New haven america
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Postby New haven america » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:12 pm

Kreigsreich of Iron wrote:What did Gaiman write again?

Coraline, American Gods, Sandman, Good Omens, Graveyard Book, Stardust, etc...
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The Lazarene Republic
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Postby The Lazarene Republic » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:14 pm

Kreigsreich of Iron wrote:What did Gaiman write again?

Absolutely nothing, you have been deceived

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Kreigsreich of Iron
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Postby Kreigsreich of Iron » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:18 pm

New haven america wrote:
Kreigsreich of Iron wrote:What did Gaiman write again?

Coraline, American Gods, Sandman, Good Omens, Graveyard Book, Stardust, etc...

Damn.


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Danternoust
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Postby Danternoust » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:20 pm

Unfortunate that housekeeper and girlfriend are sufficiently similar concepts to not allow a lawsuit to be filed in this instance.

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Uiiop
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Postby Uiiop » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:21 pm

Danternoust wrote:Unfortunate that housekeeper and girlfriend are sufficiently similar concepts to not allow a lawsuit to be filed in this instance.

That's not remotely the legal issue behind his legal slipperiness right now.
#NSTransparency

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Galloism
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Postby Galloism » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:50 pm

Another feminist who's a sexual abuser. Imagine that.
Venicilian: wow. Jesus hung around with everyone. boys, girls, rich, poor(mostly), sick, healthy, etc. in fact, i bet he even went up to gay people and tried to heal them so they would be straight.
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Vastiuq
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Postby Vastiuq » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:54 pm

Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:A fucking shame. I used to like Gaiman’s writing. Now? Fuck him.


As someone who is a long time Endless fan this definitely hits harder than it should of. I guess this will be another case of "Serperate the work from the maker"

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Uiiop
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Postby Uiiop » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:55 pm

Galloism wrote:Another feminist who's a sexual abuser. Imagine that.

Virtue signalling Celebrity endorsers being abusive assholes is a commonality in the gender wars. Not the right time or place for your bait that triggers other rape victms Gallo.
Last edited by Uiiop on Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Galloism
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Postby Galloism » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:58 pm

Uiiop wrote:
Galloism wrote:Another feminist who's a sexual abuser. Imagine that.

Virtue signalling Celebrity endorsers being abusive assholes is a commonality in the gender wars. Not the right time or place for your bait that triggers other rape victms Gallo.


It's just a trend at this point.
Venicilian: wow. Jesus hung around with everyone. boys, girls, rich, poor(mostly), sick, healthy, etc. in fact, i bet he even went up to gay people and tried to heal them so they would be straight.
The Parkus Empire: Being serious on NSG is like wearing a suit to a nude beach.
New Kereptica: Since power is changed energy over time, an increase in power would mean, in this case, an increase in energy. As energy is equivalent to mass and the density of the government is static, the volume of the government must increase.


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Uiiop
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Postby Uiiop » Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:59 pm

Vastiuq wrote:
Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:A fucking shame. I used to like Gaiman’s writing. Now? Fuck him.


As someone who is a long time Endless fan this definitely hits harder than it should of. I guess this will be another case of "Serperate the work from the maker"

His specific methods and reasons make a good chuck of his books and story-lines messer than that for me but in that case i won't dispute someone likes.
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Vastiuq
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Postby Vastiuq » Wed Jan 15, 2025 9:01 pm

Uiiop wrote:
Vastiuq wrote:
As someone who is a long time Endless fan this definitely hits harder than it should of. I guess this will be another case of "Serperate the work from the maker"

His specific methods and reasons make a good chuck of his books and story-lines messer than that for me but in that case i won't dispute someone likes.


The endless comics are definitely some of his best works imo. Death and Dream being the better characters, but to each their own as they say.


Either way this will basically end any chance of him working on his Sandman show. Not to mention DC is gonna probably end their tradition of consulting him for his works

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Uiiop
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Postby Uiiop » Wed Jan 15, 2025 9:03 pm

Vastiuq wrote:
Uiiop wrote:His specific methods and reasons make a good chuck of his books and story-lines messer than that for me but in that case i won't dispute someone likes.


The endless comics are definitely some of his best works imo. Death and Dream being the better characters, but to each their own as they say.


Either way this will basically end any chance of him working on his Sandman show. Not to mention DC is gonna probably end their tradition of consulting him for his works

I was saddened by the impacts on Good Omens. Especially since there has been rumors of Terry's regretting on some level the collaboration with Neil.
Last edited by Uiiop on Wed Jan 15, 2025 9:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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New haven america
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Postby New haven america » Wed Jan 15, 2025 9:03 pm

Galloism wrote:
Uiiop wrote:Virtue signalling Celebrity endorsers being abusive assholes is a commonality in the gender wars. Not the right time or place for your bait that triggers other rape victms Gallo.


It's just a trend at this point.

TBH, the a lot of people point out that vibes kinda started when he went on a Twitter rant about how authors don't owe anyone anything in relation to fans being angry GRRM broke his deadline promise.

A lot of people felt that there was something very hostile and self-centered there, uncharacteristically so. Turns out, that was just quick mask slip to how he evidently actually behaves irl.
Last edited by New haven america on Wed Jan 15, 2025 9:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Uiiop
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Postby Uiiop » Wed Jan 15, 2025 9:03 pm

Galloism wrote:
Uiiop wrote:Virtue signalling Celebrity endorsers being abusive assholes is a commonality in the gender wars. Not the right time or place for your bait that triggers other rape victms Gallo.


It's just a trend at this point.

It's not a trend if it's not new. *Shrugs*
Last edited by Uiiop on Wed Jan 15, 2025 9:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Floofybit
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Postby Floofybit » Wed Jan 15, 2025 9:18 pm

My safe word is tangerine. If I'm uncomfortable, I'll text my parents tangerine, and they pick me up.
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