Character Count: 5027
The Security Council,
Alarmed at the deceitful habits formed by Lancaster of Wessex (concisely, LoW) over the course of 20 long years of oppression, quietly covering up their own carefully crafted propaganda while attempting to hide the connection between themselves and certain satellite states,
Highlighting the straight-up villainous misinformation spread by LoW through their eight accounts, actively infiltrating the decision making bodies of countless nations, including:Distressed by the authoritarian and dictatorial regime of notorious puppet state Menta Lee-IL (for short, MLI), a nation that has been under LoW’s iron grip since its inception, and which they have utilized to further their ulterior motives,
- completely fabricating a so-called dilemma where customer service employees in major department store chains across the multiverse were supposedly being rude, when in reality LoW created it as a ploy to prevent officials from actually focusing on productive things, leading some to ponder Are We Being Served?,
- confusing global decision makers about the severity of nicotine epidemics via the utilization of made-up statistics that artificially inflated the percentage of populaces smoking, misleading leaders with carefully calculated statistical presentations trying to justify their conclusions, prompting unfair crackdowns on Smokers Cornered,
- inventing yet another convincing fake news story where wine sellers were apparently using false advertising and foreign imports to cover up their mischievous operations, sending top-government missions on a wild goose-chase in an effort to redirect growing suspicion of their very own journalistic malpractice, all while casually sipping Champagne In The Glass and watching the chaos ensue from afar,
Terrified that LoW has instituted a death penalty for those who do not bow down to “THE MOST SUBLIME AND GLORIOUS LEADER IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORIES”, a maniacal tactic intended to scare any sapient citizens brave enough to stand up to their oppressive government, citizens they also refer to as “OBJECTS”,
Frightened that LoW employed MLI as a means to persecute and exploit their citizens through defense forces and corruption classifications that had eclipsed all other nations, rankings that were held even well past their dormancy around four and a half years ago and still remain within the top-10,
Horrified by the treatment of the World Assembly by MLI’s shadow government, in which they not only reacted extremely positively to the condemnation of their very own region by the so-called “SCUMBAG WA”, but also initiated a policy requiring the regions’ delegate to adhere to their bogus commands, otherwise fearing “ANNIHILATION FOR TREASON”,
Appalled that LoW has, at many times, attempted to hoodwink other nations by repeatedly denying the connection between themselves and MLI, as well as instituting amicable policies on LoW merely as an intent to clean up and improve their image, only later being forced to admit the truth after suspicion grew to the point where the deception became untenable,
Shocked by the discovery of even more systemic corruption within the official accounts LoW has published, written solely with the purpose of manipulating thousands of governments, such as:Troubled by the sheer tyranny employed by LoW upon thousands of nations, whether that be manifested through corrupt malpractice within their media coverage or with the influence of their ruthless governments, to an extent that requires a condemnation,
- tampering with the evidence that payday loans were sinking poorer-off citizens, increasing wealth inequality, and damaging the consumer by persuading lesser-educated and informed nations that these loans actually had none of the aforementioned problems, consequentially ending up with both a higher amount of payday loans and Payday Groans,
- bribing inside advisors to lobby for propaganda banknotes in return for an enormous payoff, as said advisors convinced numerous nations to print their figurehead onto their currency, all whilst simultaneously running with the story that suddenly, more and more nations were conveniently putting notable inside figures on their monetary indicators, resulting in many vocal citizens raising doubt and concern over Who's In Your Wallet,
- spreading disinformation as to whether many art sales and shows were being secretly ruined by nefarious "griefers", in a viral news story that made individual sapients fret over an art epidemic that never even occurred in the first place, and even caused a singular nation to halt all art-showcases until they could figure out "the problem", annoyingly while LoW themselves kept gladly singing Keep Me Appraised,
Concluding that with this in mind, the only true “DESTROYER OF DEMOCRACY, FREEDOM, HUMAN RIGHTS, PEACE!!!” will finally meet their ironic fate, and so
Hereby Condemns Lancaster of Wessex.