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[Draft] Condemn Lancaster of Wessex

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Fachumonn
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[Draft] Condemn Lancaster of Wessex

Postby Fachumonn » Mon Jan 13, 2025 3:23 pm

Note: I have permission for this draft.

Hello! Today I come to you today with a condemn of Lancaster of Wessex (also known as Menta Lee-IL).

Lancaster of Wessex (LoW) has wrote 8 issues for NationStates, a large amount which makes up the base of this condemn. On top of that, LoW has done some very elaborate and creative roleplay. In addition to that, before they retired, LoW had 2 #1 stats. There are some other things mentioned as well :). I believe that in totality, these contributions should be recognized.

I hope you agree, and be sure to give constructive criticism/feedback, as this is not a finished draft. Thanks!


Character Count: 5027

Condemn Lancaster of Wessex

Proposed By: Fachumonn | Category: Condemnation


The Security Council,

Alarmed at the deceitful habits formed by Lancaster of Wessex (concisely, LoW) over the course of 20 long years of oppression, quietly covering up their own carefully crafted propaganda while attempting to hide the connection between themselves and certain satellite states,

Highlighting the straight-up villainous misinformation spread by LoW through their eight accounts, actively infiltrating the decision making bodies of countless nations, including:

  • completely fabricating a so-called dilemma where customer service employees in major department store chains across the multiverse were supposedly being rude, when in reality LoW created it as a ploy to prevent officials from actually focusing on productive things, leading some to ponder Are We Being Served?,
  • confusing global decision makers about the severity of nicotine epidemics via the utilization of made-up statistics that artificially inflated the percentage of populaces smoking, misleading leaders with carefully calculated statistical presentations trying to justify their conclusions, prompting unfair crackdowns on Smokers Cornered,
  • inventing yet another convincing fake news story where wine sellers were apparently using false advertising and foreign imports to cover up their mischievous operations, sending top-government missions on a wild goose-chase in an effort to redirect growing suspicion of their very own journalistic malpractice, all while casually sipping Champagne In The Glass and watching the chaos ensue from afar,
Distressed by the authoritarian and dictatorial regime of notorious puppet state Menta Lee-IL (for short, MLI), a nation that has been under LoW’s iron grip since its inception, and which they have utilized to further their ulterior motives,

Terrified that LoW has instituted a death penalty for those who do not bow down to “THE MOST SUBLIME AND GLORIOUS LEADER IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORIES”, a maniacal tactic intended to scare any sapient citizens brave enough to stand up to their oppressive government, citizens they also refer to as “OBJECTS”,

Frightened that LoW employed MLI as a means to persecute and exploit their citizens through defense forces and corruption classifications that had eclipsed all other nations, rankings that were held even well past their dormancy around four and a half years ago and still remain within the top-10,

Horrified by the treatment of the World Assembly by MLI’s shadow government, in which they not only reacted extremely positively to the condemnation of their very own region by the so-called “SCUMBAG WA”, but also initiated a policy requiring the regions’ delegate to adhere to their bogus commands, otherwise fearing “ANNIHILATION FOR TREASON”,

Appalled that LoW has, at many times, attempted to hoodwink other nations by repeatedly denying the connection between themselves and MLI, as well as instituting amicable policies on LoW merely as an intent to clean up and improve their image, only later being forced to admit the truth after suspicion grew to the point where the deception became untenable,

Shocked by the discovery of even more systemic corruption within the official accounts LoW has published, written solely with the purpose of manipulating thousands of governments, such as:

  • tampering with the evidence that payday loans were sinking poorer-off citizens, increasing wealth inequality, and damaging the consumer by persuading lesser-educated and informed nations that these loans actually had none of the aforementioned problems, consequentially ending up with both a higher amount of payday loans and Payday Groans,
  • bribing inside advisors to lobby for propaganda banknotes in return for an enormous payoff, as said advisors convinced numerous nations to print their figurehead onto their currency, all whilst simultaneously running with the story that suddenly, more and more nations were conveniently putting notable inside figures on their monetary indicators, resulting in many vocal citizens raising doubt and concern over Who's In Your Wallet,
  • spreading disinformation as to whether many art sales and shows were being secretly ruined by nefarious "griefers", in a viral news story that made individual sapients fret over an art epidemic that never even occurred in the first place, and even caused a singular nation to halt all art-showcases until they could figure out "the problem", annoyingly while LoW themselves kept gladly singing Keep Me Appraised,
Troubled by the sheer tyranny employed by LoW upon thousands of nations, whether that be manifested through corrupt malpractice within their media coverage or with the influence of their ruthless governments, to an extent that requires a condemnation,

Concluding that with this in mind, the only true “DESTROYER OF DEMOCRACY, FREEDOM, HUMAN RIGHTS, PEACE!!!” will finally meet their ironic fate, and so

Hereby Condemns Lancaster of Wessex.
Last edited by Fachumonn on Sun Feb 02, 2025 12:50 pm, edited 23 times in total.
WA Ambassador: The People | Pronouns: He/Him/His| RL Ideology: Democratic Socialism
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Fachumonn
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Postby Fachumonn » Mon Jan 13, 2025 3:24 pm

Reserved for uses not designated to the original post.

The Security Council,

ALARMED at the deceitful habits formed by Lancaster of Wessex (now to be referred to as LoW) over the course of 20 long years of oppression, quietly covering up their squalid schemes while attempting to hide the connection between themselves and certain satellite states,

HIGHLIGHTING the eight schemes designed and organized by LoW in an attempt to actively harm thousands of nations, including:

  • Planting rude customer service employees in major department store chains across the multiverse as a means to make it appear as if there is a genuine problem, all for the sake of pure evil, as evidenced by Scheme #660 “Are We Being Served?”,
  • Deploying wine sellers that used false advertising and foreign imports to cover up their mischievous operations, misleading customers and creating dilemmas for world-leaders in Scheme #929 “Champagne In The Glass”,
  • Misleading global decision makers about the severity of nicotine epidemics via the utilization of for-hire misfits artifically inflating the percentage of populaces smoking, demonstrated by Scheme #1076 “Smokers Cornered”,

SHOCKED by even further missions to manipulate thousands of governments in total, such as:

  • Scheme #1358 “Who’s In Your Wallet”, where LoW desperately tries to convince numerous nations to implement propaganda on their banknotes by bribing inside advisors to suggest the idea to their leaders in return for an enormous payoff,
  • Scheme #1364 “Payday Groans”, in which LoW convinced many nations to keep mind-numbingly high interest rates on payday loans, thus sinking many poorer-off citizens further down into the poverty line in an effort to make everyday life as terrible as possible,
  • Scheme #1610 “Keep Me Appraised”, where LoW secretly ruined as many art sales as physically possible, prompting distress from citizens and high-ranking officials alike, and overall harming the cultural and artistic works of well-known artists across the realms,

DISTRESSED by the authoritarian regime of notorious puppet state Menta Lee-IL, in which they have:

  • Masterminded the creation and facilitation of Psychotic Dictatorships, a region so evil in its atrocities it was condemned by [resolution=SC#305]SC#305[/resolution] in a list-ditch effort to warn this august assembly of their barbaric actions,
  • Forced all those referring to their leader to refer to them as “DEAREST LEADER”, a maniacal tactic intended to suppress all freedom of speech within their nation, restricting many sapient humanoids of any civil rights or political freedoms by instituting a death sentence for those who do not obey this policy,
  • Persecuted and exploited their citizens through the boasting of the highest corruption and defense forces in the world, rankings that were held even well past their dormancy around four and a half years ago,

HORIFIED by the treatment of the World Assembly by LoW through Menta-Lee-IL, in which they not only reacted positively to the condemnation of Psychotic Dictatorships by the so-called “SCUMBAG WA”, but also instituted a policy banning nations from even joining the World Assembly for quite a long period of time,

TROUBLED by the sheer tyranny employed by LoW upon thousands of innocents nations, including ones they happen to control themselves, as well of their enlisting of others to join them in their abhorrent mission, all of which truly merits a condemnation through the means of this council,

CONCERNED that the absent of a condemnation for such a horriying actor sets a bad precedent for the future of the Security Council, and so a condemnation must be attributed to LoW at the very least,

CONCLUDING that the best retirement gift that LoW is to receive is a statement regarding the numerous disinengenous deeds they have committed over the course of decades, and so

Hereby Condemns [nation=long]Lancaster of Wessex[/nation].
The Security Council,

ALARMED at the deceitful habits formed by Lancaster of Wessex (now to be referred to as LoW) over the course of 20 long years of oppression, quietly covering up their squalid schemes while attempting to hide the connection between themselves and certain satellite states,

HIGHLIGHTING the eight schemes designed and organized by LoW in an attempt to actively harm thousands of nations, including:

  • Planting rude customer service employees in major department store chains across the multiverse as a means to make it appear as if there is a genuine problem, all for the sake of pure evil, as evidenced by Scheme #660 “Are We Being Served?”,
  • Deploying wine sellers that used false advertising and foreign imports to cover up their mischievous operations, misleading customers and creating dilemmas for world-leaders in Scheme #929 “Champagne In The Glass”,
  • Misleading global decision makers about the severity of nicotine epidemics via the utilization of for-hire misfits artificially inflating the percentage of populaces smoking, demonstrated by Scheme #1076 “Smokers Cornered”,

DISTRESSED by the authoritarian and dictatorial regime of notorious puppet state Menta Lee-IL (henceforth known as MLI), a nation that LoW has been able to control and access since its inception, and which they have utilized to further their ulterior motives,

APPALLED that LoW was the mastermind behind the creation and facilitation of Psychotic Dictatorships through MLI, a region so evil in its atrocities it was condemned by [resolution=SC#305]SC#305[/resolution] in a last-ditch effort to warn this august assembly of their barbaric actions,

WORRIED that LoW forced all those referring to MLI’s leader to refer to them as “DEAREST LEADER”, a maniacal tactic intended to suppress all freedom of speech within their nation, restricting many sapient humanoids of any civil rights or political freedoms by instituting a death sentence for those who do not obey this policy,

AGHAST that LoW employed MLI as a means to persecute and exploit their citizens through the boasting of the highest corruption and defense forces in the world, rankings that were held even well past their dormancy around four and a half years ago,

HORRIFIED by the treatment of the World Assembly by MLI’s shadow government, in which they not only reacted positively to the condemnation of Psychotic Dictatorships by the so-called “SCUMBAG WA”, but also instituted a policy banning nations from even joining the World Assembly for quite a long period of time,

SHOCKED by the discovery of even more missions LoW embarked on with the purpose of manipulating thousands of governments in total, such as:

  • Scheme #1358 “Who’s In Your Wallet”, where LoW desperately tries to convince numerous nations to implement propaganda on their banknotes by bribing inside advisors to suggest the idea to their leaders in return for an enormous payoff,
  • Scheme #1364 “Payday Groans”, in which LoW convinced many nations to keep mind-numbingly high interest rates on payday loans, thus sinking many poorer-off citizens further down into the poverty line in an effort to make everyday life as terrible as possible,
  • Scheme #1610 “Keep Me Appraised”, where LoW secretly ruined as many art sales as physically possible, prompting distress from citizens and high-ranking officials alike, and overall harming the cultural and artistic works of well-known artists across the realms,

TROUBLED by the sheer tyranny employed by LoW upon thousands of nations, including ones they possess, to an extent that requires a condemnation at the very least for their truly mischievous deeds,

CONCLUDING that that the only belated retirement present LoW is to receive is a handpicked statement regarding the numerous disingenuous deeds they have committed over the course of decades, and so

Hereby Condemns [nation=long]Lancaster of Wessex[/nation].
The Security Council,

Alarmed at the deceitful habits formed by [nation=Lancaster of Wessex] (concisely, LoW) over the course of 20 long years of oppression, quietly covering up their own carefully crafted propaganda while attempting to hide the connection between themselves and certain satellite states,

Highlighting the purposeful misinformation spread by LoW through their eight accounts, actively attempting to trick a large amount of world-leaders, including:

  • completely fabricating a so-called dilemma where customer service employees in major department store chains across the multiverse were supposedly being rude, when in reality LoW created it as a ploy to prevent officials from actually focusing on productive things, leading some to ponder Are We Being Served?,
  • inventing yet another convincing fake news story where wine sellers were apparently using false advertising and foreign imports to cover up their mischievous operations, sending top-government missions on a wild goose-chase as a way to redirect growing suspicion of their very own journalistic malpractice, all while casually sipping Champagne In The Glass and watching the chaos ensue from afar,
  • confusing global decision makers about the severity of nicotine epidemics via the utilization of fully made-up statistics that artificially inflated the percentage of populaces smoking, misleading leaders with carefully calculated statistical presentations trying to justify their conclusions whilst unfairly getting certain Smokers Cornered,

Distressed by the authoritarian and dictatorial regime of notorious puppet state Menta Lee-IL (henceforth known as MLI), a nation that LoW has been able to control and access since its inception, and which they have utilized to further their ulterior motives,

Appalled that LoW was the mastermind behind the creation and facilitation of Psychotic Dictatorships through MLI, a region so evil in its atrocities it was condemned by [resolution=SC#305]SC#305[/resolution] in a last-ditch effort to warn this august assembly of their barbaric actions,

Worried that LoW forced all those referring to MLI’s leader to refer to them as “DEAREST LEADER”, a maniacal tactic intended to suppress all freedom of speech within their nation, restricting many sapient humanoids of any civil rights or political freedoms by instituting a death sentence for those who do not obey this policy,

Aghast that LoW employed MLI as a means to persecute and exploit their citizens through the boasting of the highest corruption and defense forces in the world, rankings that were held even well past their dormancy around four and a half years ago,

Horrified by the treatment of the World Assembly by MLI’s shadow government, in which they not only reacted positively to the condemnation of Psychotic Dictatorships by the so-called “SCUMBAG WA”, but also instituted a policy banning nations from even joining the World Assembly for quite a long period of time,

Shocked by the discovery of even more systemic corruption and manipulation within the official accounts LoW has published, written solely with the purpose of manipulating thousands of governments in total, such as:

  • convincing numerous nations to implement propaganda banknotes by bribing inside advisors to lobby for the idea in return for an enormous payoff, all whilst simultaneously running with the story that suddenly, more and more nations were conveniently putting notable inside figures on their monetary indicators, resulting in more and more citizens to become concerned at Who's In Your Wallet,
  • tampering with the evidence that payday loans were indeed not only sinking poorer-off citizens but increasing wealth inequality by persuading lesser-educated and informed nations that these loans actually had the inverse effect, consequentially ending up with both a higher amount of payday loans and Payday Groans,
  • spreading disinformation as to whether many art sales and shows were being secretly ruined by nefarious "griefers", in a viral news story that made individual sapients fret over an art epidemic that never even occurred in the first place, and even causing a singular nation to halt all art-showcases until they could figure out "the problem", annoyingly while Low themselves were gladly singing Keep Me Appraised,

Troubled by the sheer tyranny employed by LoW upon thousands of nations, including ones they possess, whether that be pure malpractice and propaganda within their news coverage or with the influence of their evil governments, to an extent that requires a condemnation at the very least for their truly mischievous deeds,

Concluding that that the only belated retirement present LoW is to receive is a handpicked statement regarding the numerous disingenuous deeds they have committed over the course of decades, and so

Hereby Condemns [nation=Lancaster of Wessex].
Last edited by Fachumonn on Sat Jan 18, 2025 8:11 am, edited 5 times in total.
WA Ambassador: The People | Pronouns: He/Him/His| RL Ideology: Democratic Socialism
"I agree with Vara" - Mage
"For once, we are in agreement" - BBD
"IA is a myth propogated by the WA elite, NS mods, and Max Barry." - Ladratia
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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Mon Jan 13, 2025 3:28 pm

Interesting. Going to need a few read throughs of this.

You’ve spelt “Horrified” incorrectly by the way.
Former Delegate of The West Pacific. Former Guardian (under many Delegates) of The West Pacific. TWP's Former Minister for World Assembly Affairs and former Security Council Advisor.

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Pierconium wrote:I see Funk as an opportunistic manipulator that utilises the means available to him to reach his goals. In other words, a nation after my own heart.

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The Ice States
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Postby The Ice States » Mon Jan 13, 2025 4:45 pm

No particular objections to this proposal, though I do have some minor comments if they help :D

Fachumonn wrote:TROUBLED by the sheer tyranny employed by LoW upon thousands of innocents nations, including ones they happen to control themselves, as well of their enlisting of others to join them in their abhorrent mission, all of which truly merits a condemnation through the means of this council,

What is this in reference to? Also added a minor correction to the text.

CONCERNED that the absent of a condemnation for such a horriying actor sets a bad precedent for the future of the Security Council, and so a condemnation must be attributed to LoW at the very least,

CONCLUDING that the best retirement gift that LoW is to receive is a statement regarding the numerous disinengenous deeds they have committed over the course of decades, and so

It seems unnecessary to have two concluding clauses like this; why not merge them into one clause and cut some of the characters?

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Of The Revived Soviet Union
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Postby Of The Revived Soviet Union » Mon Jan 13, 2025 4:48 pm

Fachumonn wrote:-snippy-

Full support, well-written proposal to a player that's written many prominent issues and deserves it by now.

I think you should submit it soon. It won't have a problem reaching quorum unless you've made some errors.
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Those are my political positions within the left - I consider myself to be a market socialist, which isn't a surprise. https://politicaltests.github.io/12axes ... &k=31&l=88
This is my 12axes test, which said I'm Revolutionary Socialist.
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Jan 13, 2025 7:29 pm

It's okay but... that's it. Just okay. The first part is a rehash of done to the death issues C/Cs, and the next part is a rehash of Condemn Psychotic Dictatorships. Of course, it's a lot easier to say "find a unique take" than to actually have one, but I'm gonna do that anyway. Find a storyline. Weave a narrative. Obviously Menta Lee-Il is an interesting character/nation with psychotic dictatorial tendencies so you can include his possible tampering/influence on Lancaster of Wessex, juxtaposing the seemingly quaint LoW with the evil hellfire of the other. Or something totally different, the SC resolution is your oyster.
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Of The Revived Soviet Union
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Postby Of The Revived Soviet Union » Mon Jan 13, 2025 8:59 pm

Fachumonn wrote:Note: I have permission for this draft.

Hello! Today I come to you today with a condemn of Lancaster of Wessex (also known as Menta Lee-IL).

Lancaster of Wessex (LoW) has wrote 8 issues for NationStates, a large amount which makes up the base of this condemn. On top of that, LoW has introduced, created, and facilitated one of the most elaborate roleplay regions in all of NationStates, Psychotic Dictatorships. While this region has already been condemned, LoW’s contributions to the region have not. In addition to that, before they retired, LoW had 2 #1 stats. There are some other things mentioned as well :). I believe that in totality, these contributions should be recognized.

I hope you agree, and be sure to give constructive criticism/feedback, as this is a very rough draft. Thanks!


Character Count: 4014

Condemn Lancaster of Wessex

Proposed By: Fachumonn | Category: Condemnation


The Security Council,

ALARMED at the deceitful habits formed by Lancaster of Wessex (now to be referred to as LoW) over the course of 20 long years of oppression, quietly covering up their squalid schemes while attempting to hide the connection between themselves and certain satellite states,

HIGHLIGHTING the eight schemes designed and organized by LoW in an attempt to actively harm thousands of nations, including:

  • Planting rude customer service employees in major department store chains across the multiverse as a means to make it appear as if there is a genuine problem, all for the sake of pure evil, as evidenced by Scheme #660 “Are We Being Served?”,
  • Deploying wine sellers that used false advertising and foreign imports to cover up their mischievous operations, misleading customers and creating dilemmas for world-leaders in Scheme #929 “Champagne In The Glass”,
  • Misleading global decision makers about the severity of nicotine epidemics via the utilization of for-hire misfits artificially inflating the percentage of populaces smoking, demonstrated by Scheme #1076 “Smokers Cornered”,

DISTRESSED by the authoritarian and dictatorial regime of notorious puppet state Menta Lee-IL (henceforth known as MLI), a nation that LoW has been able to control and access since its inception, and which they have utilized to further their ulterior motives,

APPALLED that LoW was the mastermind behind the creation and facilitation of Psychotic Dictatorships through MLI, a region so evil in its atrocities it was condemned by [resolution=SC#305]SC#305[/resolution] in a last-ditch effort to warn this august assembly of their barbaric actions,

WORRIED that LoW forced all those referring to MLI’s leader to refer to them as “DEAREST LEADER”, a maniacal tactic intended to suppress all freedom of speech within their nation, restricting many sapient humanoids of any civil rights or political freedoms by instituting a death sentence for those who do not obey this policy,

AGHAST that LoW employed MLI as a means to persecute and exploit their citizens through the boasting of the highest corruption and defense forces in the world, rankings that were held even well past their dormancy around four and a half years ago,

HORRIFIED by the treatment of the World Assembly by MLI’s shadow government, in which they not only reacted positively to the condemnation of Psychotic Dictatorships by the so-called “SCUMBAG WA”, but also instituted a policy banning nations from even joining the World Assembly for quite a long period of time,

SHOCKED by the discovery of even more missions LoW embarked on with the purpose of manipulating thousands of governments in total, such as:

  • Scheme #1358 “Who’s In Your Wallet”, where LoW desperately tries to convince numerous nations to implement propaganda on their banknotes by bribing inside advisors to suggest the idea to their leaders in return for an enormous payoff,
  • Scheme #1364 “Payday Groans”, in which LoW convinced many nations to keep mind-numbingly high interest rates on payday loans, thus sinking many poorer-off citizens further down into the poverty line in an effort to make everyday life as terrible as possible,
  • Scheme #1610 “Keep Me Appraised”, where LoW secretly ruined as many art sales as physically possible, prompting distress from citizens and high-ranking officials alike, and overall harming the cultural and artistic works of well-known artists across the realms,

TROUBLED by the sheer tyranny employed by LoW upon thousands of nations, including ones they possess, to an extent that requires a condemnation at the very least for their truly mischievous deeds,

CONCLUDING that that the only belated retirement present LoW is to receive is a handpicked statement regarding the numerous disingenuous deeds they have committed over the course of decades, and so

Hereby Condemns [nation=long]Lancaster of Wessex[/nation].

Please fix those templates. They make it very annoying to look at.
Political Views>
https://leftvalues.github.io/results.html?a=11.8&b=54.7&c=53.3&d=57.1&e=42.3&f=33.3&g=29.4
Those are my political positions within the left - I consider myself to be a market socialist, which isn't a surprise. https://politicaltests.github.io/12axes ... &k=31&l=88
This is my 12axes test, which said I'm Revolutionary Socialist.
I stand with Palestine!
LGBTQIA+ Rights are human rights!
Pronouns: He/him. Am a cisgender half-Lebanese guy, but I'm more progressive than most people you'll meet.
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Bisofeyr
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Postby Bisofeyr » Mon Jan 13, 2025 9:03 pm

Of The Revived Soviet Union wrote:-snip-

From a glance, they are BBCodes that work gameside but not forumside, but are the most concise version. You'll have to suck it up.

I have thoughts on this and will try to let you know them as soon as I can.
Last edited by Bisofeyr on Mon Jan 13, 2025 9:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Of The Revived Soviet Union
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Left-wing Utopia

Postby Of The Revived Soviet Union » Tue Jan 14, 2025 1:28 am

Bisofeyr wrote:
Of The Revived Soviet Union wrote:-snip-

From a glance, they are BBCodes that work gameside but not forumside, but are the most concise version. You'll have to suck it up.

I have thoughts on this and will try to let you know them as soon as I can.

Fair. My bad.
Political Views>
https://leftvalues.github.io/results.html?a=11.8&b=54.7&c=53.3&d=57.1&e=42.3&f=33.3&g=29.4
Those are my political positions within the left - I consider myself to be a market socialist, which isn't a surprise. https://politicaltests.github.io/12axes ... &k=31&l=88
This is my 12axes test, which said I'm Revolutionary Socialist.
I stand with Palestine!
LGBTQIA+ Rights are human rights!
Pronouns: He/him. Am a cisgender half-Lebanese guy, but I'm more progressive than most people you'll meet.
'Capitalism and social conservatism are just the political manifestations of narcissism.' - Me.
Fixed my signature for being too long. You're welcome :)

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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Founded: Dec 17, 2003
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Tue Jan 14, 2025 1:51 am

Of The Revived Soviet Union wrote:
Fachumonn wrote:-snippy-

Full support, well-written proposal to a player that's written many prominent issues and deserves it by now.

I think you should submit it soon. It won't have a problem reaching quorum unless you've made some errors.

Which is the whole point of having an extended drafting period so that any errors, illegalities, etc., etc. can be caught and corrected and other improvements made.
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The West Pacific's Official Welshman, Astronomer and Old Fart
Pierconium wrote:I see Funk as an opportunistic manipulator that utilises the means available to him to reach his goals. In other words, a nation after my own heart.

RiderSyl wrote:If an enchantress made it so one raid could bring about world peace, Unibot would ask raiders to just sign a petition instead.

Sedgistan wrote:The SC has just has a spate of really shitty ones recently from Northumbria, his Watermelon fanboy…..

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Fachumonn
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Posts: 1808
Founded: Apr 11, 2021
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Fachumonn » Tue Jan 14, 2025 5:52 am

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:-snip-

Thanks for that pointing that out, as for the draft in general, it's definitely not in its final form and definitely could be improved.
The Ice States wrote:-snip-

As noted offsite this should be fixed, with some general improvements around the rest of the text as well that makes it better.
Of The Revived Soviet Union wrote:-snip-

Thanks for your support, but as I noted drafting is a marathon, not a sprint. A winning resolution is much more than a first draft.


As for Honeydew...
Honeydewistania wrote:-snip-

I definitely think the issue descriptions could be fixed, and I'm currently brainstorming ways to improve it. Unfortunately, I don't believe the MLI part is a rehash of PD' condemn as I have mentioned different things and their role in actually facilitating the region in the first place.

Thanks for your feedback, due to these suggestions the MLI part and the end has been changed into a Draft 1.5/New-Ish draft.
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Fachumonn
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Posts: 1808
Founded: Apr 11, 2021
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Fachumonn » Fri Jan 17, 2025 5:18 am

After a few days of attempting to rewrite the issues sections, a new draft is out! Character Count is 4993, so uh, yeah, not much room :) .
WA Ambassador: The People | Pronouns: He/Him/His| RL Ideology: Democratic Socialism
"I agree with Vara" - Mage
"For once, we are in agreement" - BBD
"IA is a myth propogated by the WA elite, NS mods, and Max Barry." - Ladratia
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Astrobolt
Diplomat
 
Posts: 647
Founded: Jul 30, 2019
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Astrobolt » Fri Jan 17, 2025 7:48 am

Half this condemn seems like Condemn Psychotic Dictatorships 2. My gut thinking is that the Psychotic Dictatorships stuff shouldn't be focused on, and at maximum it should be minor, given it already has SC recognition.
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Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5571
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Jutsa » Fri Jan 17, 2025 9:30 am

Never would I have ever thought these two were the same person... :shock:

Very happy to see you working on this though. I know it's probably a bit tricky coming up with a new angle every C/C, but I don't have any qualms with this as an outsider. They really covered some pretty interesting topics. :)

Astrobolt wrote:Half this condemn seems like Condemn Psychotic Dictatorships 2. My gut thinking is that the Psychotic Dictatorships stuff shouldn't be focused on, and at maximum it should be minor, given it already has SC recognition.


I only read two lines as having anything to do with that at all, with the one bringing up the condemnation and the other the result of said condemnation. That's already pretty minor/unfocused. :P

That said, I can see an issue with "DEAREST LEADER" being mentioned in both, but in this case it is more of a setup for recognizing their nation's political suppression and civil rights abuses. That being said, it's the one line I could see potentially being cut anyway.

Only other potential overlap is the HORRIFIED clause, which covers an event that happened in response to the condemnation. Again, not necessary to keep in in the proposal, but like...
1) "SCUMBAG WA" is such a based thing to put in a proposal/resolution, and 2) the ban on WA membership is just... genuinely such a deranged thing to do why wouldn't you include it here :rofl:

tl;dr this gets a thumbsup from me, though afraid I'm lacking in the critiquing department. :)
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Fachumonn
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Founded: Apr 11, 2021
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Fachumonn » Fri Jan 17, 2025 2:15 pm

Astrobolt wrote:Half this condemn seems like Condemn Psychotic Dictatorships 2. My gut thinking is that the Psychotic Dictatorships stuff shouldn't be focused on, and at maximum it should be minor, given it already has SC recognition.

I mean, I certainly believe that section can be improved, but the idea that half the condemnation is Psychotic Dictatorships 2 when I only mention the region twice in the entire resolution in only two clauses (with one simply being a passing mention used to give context to the time period) is false.

The order of the MLI stuff is essentially Introductory clause -> Creation and facilitation of Psychotic Dictatorships -> WA Reactions/Policies -> "Dearest Leader" clause -> Stats clause. Now, I certainly believe the second and fourth clauses I've mentioned here could be improved and/or made distinctive, but it's certainly not to the extent you suggest.

As for Jutsa...
Jutsa wrote:-snip-

I'm glad you are supportive, and I agree it could be improved :) .
WA Ambassador: The People | Pronouns: He/Him/His| RL Ideology: Democratic Socialism
"I agree with Vara" - Mage
"For once, we are in agreement" - BBD
"IA is a myth propogated by the WA elite, NS mods, and Max Barry." - Ladratia
Love geography and good music, the two best things. American Sports are my drug, don't get me started.

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Fachu WA Mission
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Mar 28, 2022
Father Knows Best State

Postby Fachu WA Mission » Sun Jan 19, 2025 8:44 am

After a couple of days of just letting this sit, I've come with a draft I'm very happy with.

The Psychotic DIctatorships rehash points shouldn't be an issue now, and I believe I generally improved the writing over all sections of the draft. Feel free to leave any new comments.

Edit: Oops, Puppet :p
Last edited by Fachu WA Mission on Sun Jan 19, 2025 8:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Fhaengshia
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 143
Founded: Apr 30, 2020
Anarchy

Postby Fhaengshia » Sat Jan 25, 2025 6:01 am

This has been improving, some suggestions below to make it feel less "tame" and more condemnatory (also some less use of passive voice):

Highlighting the purposeful misinformation spread by LoW through their eight accounts, actively attempting to trick a large amount of world-leaders, including:

Unveiling the dastardly planned misinformation spread by LoW through their eight accounts, actively infiltrating the decision making bodies of countless nations, including:

completely fabricating a so-called dilemma where customer service employees in major department store chains across the multiverse were supposedly being rude, when in reality LoW created it as a ploy to prevent officials from actually focusing on productive things, leading some to ponder Are We Being Served?,

completely fabricating a so-called dilemma where customer service employees in major department store chains across the multiverse were supposedly being rude, when in reality this was merely a ploy to distract officials, reduce productivity, and lead some to ponder Are We Being Served?,

confusing global decision makers about the severity of nicotine epidemics via the utilization of fully made-up statistics that artificially inflated the percentage of populaces smoking, misleading leaders with carefully calculated statistical presentations trying to justify their conclusions whilst unfairly getting certain Smokers Cornered,

conspiring to falsely heighten the severity of nicotine epidemics via bogus statistics artificially inflating the percentage of populaces smoking, hampering civil rights through their slick presentations unfairly getting certain Smokers Cornered,

Distressed by the authoritarian and dictatorial regime of notorious puppet state Menta Lee-IL (for short, MLI), a nation that LoW has been able to control and access since its inception, and which they have utilized to further their ulterior motives,

"Distressed by the authoritarian and dictatorial regime of notorious puppet state Menta Lee-IL (MLI), a nation under LOW's iron grip purely to oppress hundreds of nations under their heel,

Terrified that LoW forced all those within MLI to bow down to the “THE MOST SUBLIME AND GLORIOUS LEADER IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORIES”, instituting a death penalty for those who do not obey, a maniacal tactic intended to scare any sapient citizens brave enough to stand up to their oppressive government, citizens they also refer to as “OBJECTS”,

Terrified of how MLI enforced through penalty of death the kowtowing to themselves as “THE MOST SUBLIME AND GLORIOUS LEADER IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORIES”, with this brutality using fear to suppress any "OBJECTS" as MLI referred to the sapient citizenry,

Frightened that LoW employed MLI as a means to persecute and exploit their citizens through the boasting of the highest corruption and defense forces in the world, rankings that were held even well past their dormancy around four and a half years ago and still remain within the top-10,

Frightened of MLI's persecution and exploitation of its own citizens through defense forces and corruption that had eclipsed all other nations, only being surpassed due to dormancy and still remaining within the top-10 four and a half years later,

Horrified by the treatment of the World Assembly by MLI’s shadow government, in which they not only reacted extremely positively to the condemnation of their very own region by the so-called “SCUMBAG WA”, but also instituted a policy banning nations from even joining the World Assembly for quite a long period of time,

Horrified of how MLI's shadow government has treated the World Assembly, not only by their extremely positive reaction to having their region condemned by the so-called "SCUMBAG WA", but systematically banning nations in their region from membership in the World Assembly,

Appalled that LoW has, at many times, attempted to hoodwink other nations by repeatedly denying the connection between themselves and MLI, as well as instituting amicable policies on LoW merely as an intent to clean up and improve their image, only later being forced to admit the truth after suspicion grew and they were called-out,

Appalled at LOW's deception of repeatedly denying any connection between themselves and MLI, only using a veneer of amicable policies to further this deceit, and maintaining the lie until being forced to admit the link when suspicion grew enough to make the deception untenable,

Shocked by the discovery of even more systemic corruption and manipulation within the official accounts LoW has published, written solely with the purpose of manipulating thousands of governments in total, such as:

can remove the "in total".

convincing numerous nations to implement propaganda banknotes by bribing inside advisors to lobby for the idea in return for an enormous payoff, all whilst simultaneously running with the story that suddenly, more and more nations were conveniently putting notable inside figures on their monetary indicators, resulting in more and more citizens to become concerned at Who's In Your Wallet,

bribing advisors of numerous nations to propagandise national currency in return for an enormous payoff, spreading this scheme so internationally to cause doubt and concern over Who's In Your Wallet,

spreading disinformation ... annoyingly while Low themselves were gladly singing Keep Me Appraised,

fix capitalisation of LoW

Troubled by the sheer tyranny employed by LoW upon thousands of nations, including ones they possess, whether that be pure malpractice and propaganda within their news coverage or with the influence of their ruthless governments, to an extent that requires a condemnation,

Trembling at the sheer tyranny employed by LoW upon thousands of nations, even those under their direct control, whether through corrupt malpractice and propaganda of their media, or the frightful influence of their ruthless governments, to such an extent requiring a condemnation,

Concluding that with this in mind, the only true “DESTROYER OF DEMOCRACY, FREEDOM, HUMAN RIGHTS, PEACE!!!” will finally meet their ironic fate, and so

Concluding that with this in mind, this “DESTROYER OF DEMOCRACY, FREEDOM, HUMAN RIGHTS, PEACE!!!” will forever be branded as such, and so

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Fachumonn
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1808
Founded: Apr 11, 2021
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Fachumonn » Sat Jan 25, 2025 10:49 am

Re Fhaengshia I took a decent portion of your feedback and also implemented other stuff on my to-do list, but I'll admit some of it just wasn't my style, so unfortunately for a few of the issue rewrites I did indeed decline.

Anyways, this is probably like 20 days away from submission, so make sure to get your feedback in.
WA Ambassador: The People | Pronouns: He/Him/His| RL Ideology: Democratic Socialism
"I agree with Vara" - Mage
"For once, we are in agreement" - BBD
"IA is a myth propogated by the WA elite, NS mods, and Max Barry." - Ladratia
Love geography and good music, the two best things. American Sports are my drug, don't get me started.

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Fachumonn
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1808
Founded: Apr 11, 2021
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Fachumonn » Sat Feb 01, 2025 6:21 am

Bumping this.
WA Ambassador: The People | Pronouns: He/Him/His| RL Ideology: Democratic Socialism
"I agree with Vara" - Mage
"For once, we are in agreement" - BBD
"IA is a myth propogated by the WA elite, NS mods, and Max Barry." - Ladratia
Love geography and good music, the two best things. American Sports are my drug, don't get me started.

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Fachumonn
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1808
Founded: Apr 11, 2021
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Fachumonn » Fri Feb 07, 2025 5:04 pm

Bump.

This is getting closer and closer to submission, probably looking at about two more weeks pending further comments.
WA Ambassador: The People | Pronouns: He/Him/His| RL Ideology: Democratic Socialism
"I agree with Vara" - Mage
"For once, we are in agreement" - BBD
"IA is a myth propogated by the WA elite, NS mods, and Max Barry." - Ladratia
Love geography and good music, the two best things. American Sports are my drug, don't get me started.


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