The 2025 Cartoon Primary Election [Open/IC/Poll]

[Cartoonia]

Music to set the mood

It’s that time of year when several politicians are about to finish their term at the Cartoon House. Which means the general election is about to commence. This also marks the end of the first term for the Chancellor and their government.

This year will be the most important election. With hot issues including economic downturn, Global Warming, the alarming disregard to human rights in the region, immigration, intervention and foreign aid in Xofrautan’s Civil War, the Crossoverian Quesiton, and the large topic of The Southern Seas Community and the diplomatic unity that may be achiveable.

more information about the Cartoon Political Parties can be found here

candidates	party	background	proposed policies
Nigel Uno and Conan Edogawa	Cartoon Republican Party	Nigel Uno is the Incumbant Chancellor, having served as the Secretary of Child Welfare under Chancellor Erza Scarlet. He served in the military as the commander of the 1st Gallagher National Guard, and in his youth, a KND Scout. His current policies are both a continuation of the previous government, but also some concerns of the effectiveness of his leadership. His government has made effective leaps into environmental conservation, education reforms, and diplomatic relations, with the recent success of the Southern Seas Community. But on matters like peace with Crossoveria, he had encountered several issues on that.	Centralization/Strong Federal Government Globalization Regulatory Economy Social Welfare International Cooperation Peacekeeping/Defense Forces Centralized Education
Senshi Dowāfu and Laois Touden	Cartoon Democratic Party	Senshi is a down to earth farmer, living off that land and making a living selling produce to market. He like many have grown tired of the overbearing government making things harder to sell their produce. He wants to challenge the government establishment to be a chancellor for the hard-working man, the farmer who just wants to make a living. He has advocated for a strong military force, the free market, and trade tariffs favorable for them and the others in the Southern Seas.	Provincial Rule/Small Federal Government Free Market Economics Trade Tariffs Strong Military Defense Stagnent Minimum Wage Xofrautan Internvention Southern Seas Unity
Riko Matsumoto and Yukari Akiyama	Cartoon Imperial Party	Riko “Erwin” Matsumoto is a young upstart politician, just having been recently sworn in the City Council of Oarai. She has served in the military in the army as Second-Lieutenant in the 24th Armored Division, she has proven to be a tactical military leader, and a model civil servant. She is one of a few young people to believe in the idea of a Cartoonian Empire. She hopes to further industrialize Cartoonia through imperialism and militarism, as well as dominate the entirety of the Southern Seas and Xofrautan	Imperialism Militarism Southern Seas Domination Industrialism Xofrautanese Conquest War on Culture Jingoism
Lisanna Simpson and Penelope “Pepper” Mills	Cartoon Reform Party	Lisanna Simpson served as the Vice-Chancellor to Erza Scarlet, hoping to recapture the nostalgia of the 2010s. Her platform is based more on what her predecessor brought to the table, continuing welfare projects and diplomatic unity. Her party is of course trying to continue to reform the government, and with the introduction of judicial terms set by the previous administration, she has hopes to reform the presidency.	Reforming Government Institutions Social Welfare Free Healthcare Unity Through Diplomacy Gold & Diamond Standard Removal Nuclear Detterence Strong Defense Force
Henry “Hank” Rutherford Hill and Linda Flynn-Fletcher	Cartoon Libertarian Party	Hank Hill is a assistant manager of the local Strickland Propane store in Arlen, Petoria. He is a family man who cares for the well-being of several families like theirs. He noticed that the federal government was stepping on the little guy like himself, making more paperwork and bureaucracy that he deemed unnecessary. He wants to completely get rid of government oversight, privatizing healthcare, and getting rid of any government interference in the economy. He has also expressed a strong hatred in imperialism and wishes for Cartoonia to loosely form a union in the Southern Seas	Diminished Government Laizze-Faire Economics Private Healthcare Anti-Imperialism Freedom of Speech Freedom of Worship Tax-Free Economy
Jellal Fernandes and Kyoya Ootori	Cartoon Cardinal Party	Jellal Fernandes was originally an immigrant, escaping slavery in the newly independant Harannica as a child in the 1970s. Having found a home in Ishgar, he served as a public servant for several years before becoming the ambassador to AHSCA in 2018. He wants Cartoonia to return to worship and prayer, not mattering what religion is practiced. Like many of his party, he preaches temperance and cultural conservatism. He has preached for everyone to adopt a religion and unity between all religions	Religious Conservatism Temperance Preservation of Life Foreign Aid Human Rights Mandatory Worship Religious Unity
Kazuma Satou and Hogarth Pennywhistle Gilligan	Cartoon Communist Party	Kazuma Satou is a worker at the Axel Town Rail Works, disillusioned by the promises of fulfilling labor. He is also the president of the local chapter of the Cartoon Railroad Workers Union. The way he has seen it, capitalism in the current system has corrupted Cartoonia and has created a giant gap between the rich and the poor. He wants to completely overhaul the government and the economics to be completely on par with communist teachings. Heavy industrialization ran by the state, along with the greatest agrarian reforms since the 1990s. State atheism would be gradual, and the state would conform into one party	Communism/State-Run Economics One-Party State Planned Economy Heavy Industrialization Atheism Isolationism Agrarian Reform
Aisha Belka and Haruka Nanase	Cartoon Green Party	Aisha Belka is one of the many Cartoonian politicians that were not born in the country. She is an AHSCA expat from the Island of Corona, she persued a higher education in Cartoonia and stayed there, becoming a citizen. She is currently resides in Orario as a politician and advocate of worker’s rights, especially those of an illicit trade. She wants to bring a little bit of her old home to her new home by implementing environmental and agrarian reforms to be more sustainable and encourage international cooperation. She would drastically introduce deindustrialization and nuclear disarmament.	Enviormental-Socialism Agrarian Reforms Sustainability Deindustrialization Nucelar Disarmament International Cooperation Decriminalization of Prostitution
Alexander Torran and Eddy Skipper Reese	Cartoon Nationalist Party	Alexander Torran is a textile and clothing mogul from the city of Milteu. He is also a heavy investor in heavy industry and public celebrity figure after being seen on “The Apprentice”. He like many other nationalists see this country run into ruin from all of the internationalism and foreigners/foreign cultures that is going on, as well as the corruption of youth by the liberal Republicans. He wants to revitalize nationalist fervor and isolationism, moving away from the big movements to unite The Southern Seas. He would also advocate for Cartoon supremacy at home and abroad.	Nationalism One-Party State Military State/Militarism Isolationism Xenophobia/Segregation National Industry Jingoism
Wendy Testaburger and Velma Kailing	Cartoon Feminist Party	Wendy Testaburger is a resident of South Park and is a member of the International Free Feminists of Cartoonia, a society to cleanse Cartoonia into the far left and end Imperialism. She is re-entering the ring by forwarding the feminist movement and the establishment of a matriachy. She is fighting for the socialist movement as well, being selective with foreign relations, and prepares to fight the large corporations corrupting the government	Feminist Movement Matriachy/Anti-Patriarchy Universal Healthcare Socialism Selective Foreign Relations Anti-Corportism/Trusts Censorship
“Mad” Margaret Simon and Johnny Bravo	Cartoon Federalist Party	“Mad” Margaret Simon is mother of two, international woman’s boxing champion, and social media influencer, co-creator of the children’s lunch kit, “Crunchly”. She has recently retired from her boxing career to persue politics. She is banking on free-market economics and the deregulation of the food industry. She advocated for the three day weekend and the freedom of speech on the internet.	Strong Federal Government Strong Foreign Relations Free Market Economics/Deregulation of Industry Three-Day Weekend Internet Deregulation Human Rights/Social Welfare Anti-Imperialism

This will be the primary election. On The last week of December, an election poll will go up as a sign of Election Day. You will be able to vote for your three favorite parties and the top four parties will go on in the fall for the secondary election, the top two will go head to head for the final election around February of 2025, President Jimmy Kudo will confer the chancellor-elect on March 21 of 2025.

Starting as soon as possible, there will be posts about candidates announcing their running to the pubic. A Google Form will soon follow as the poll.

If you want, send IC letters of support, endorsement, etc. If you have any questions about the candidates, please do not hesitate to ask them. They are willing to answer any burning questions that you may have.

Link To The Polls

[AHSCA]

Aisha Belka,

I'm writing personally to congratulate you on your recent join to the fray of politics. I am not very knowledgeable about the internal affairs of Cartoonia and I know ambitious platforms in democratic societies often don't measure up but the platform you run on is truly solid. You represent the people you serve you also represent what the spirit of your home island is about, a love and harmony with nature and a kindness to all from well beyond the lands of Cartoonia. Win or lose you'll stand proud as a woman who comes from Corona to really represent the change you desire to see. I am giving you my own personal endorsement but I also must make clear your status in the outcome should you win will not be for me to decide but our Monarch, Duchess Villa. I always stand firm with Her Highness here at home and I certainly wouldn't alienate that relationship or dare risk any illegality of going further than simply stating my fondness for you as a candidate as a citizen of these United Island States. That said, within my own state, the politics are free for me and my Tribal Council to decide at will and I hope you know you will have a spot here should you decide to return to us as apart of my council, but you may also feel you have more to accomplish in the land you now call home and that is fine. A Coronan whether at home or abroad will always have the special connection to their home island and I sense you do too with your desires of your party's platform.

Chief Ayla
Corona Island

[Cartoonia]

Chief Ayla,

I thank you for your most warm endorsement. Every single day passes where I think about Corona and as every day pass, I miss my home more and more. As I furthered my studies here, I come to realize how much industrialization can ruin the majesty of our planet. This election, I seek to bring about the social change that this country needs, to be reconnected to Mother Nature, and the end of the industrial order. I guess it is not too far off from home I suppose, I have taken great inspiration from many of the policies from our homeland. As much as I here that our two countries are great allies, I hope that as Chancellor, we would grow our relations more and more. I hope to be able to see the islands once more, in my capacity as Chancellor or otherwise.

Best regards,
Aisha Belka

[Phibeta]

8 Dec 2024

Addressed to The Government of Cartoonia,

We wish nothing but the best for the Cartoon Government during this time of democratic change that comes in. My government faces the same thing, next year to be precise. Change is often the result of something rather small, and it comes back around to bite one’s sense of self. As monarch of this grand kingdom, I can not say who I feel most supportive of, but I know my Prime Minister has been eager to work with both your Republican and Democratic Parties. He raises his concern with the Imperialist and Nationalist parties and what they stand for, which of course we too deal with our own little monsters that rear their ugly heads.

What ever the course may be for your republic, I hope that my government and yours may continue to work close with the special relation we hold dear, not just between us, but with our dear members of the Commonwealth. We will continue to watch carefully as the torch of democracy is passed on into the next age, whether you stay the course or change.

Give President Jimmy Kudo my regards.

Sincerely,
Diane II, by the Grace of God of the Grand Kingdom of Phibeta and her other realms and territories, Queen. Head of the Phibetan Commonwealth, Defender of the Cardinal Faith

[New Socialist South Africa]

The majority of South Africans interested and aware of this election have expressed their support for the Cartoon Green Party and their candidates, Aisha Belka and Haruka Nanase.

[Cartoonia]

Transcript of Philips News Network: Election Edition

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TAIGA: Greetings Cartoonian masses, my name is Taiga Ō for Philips News Network, located in New New York in Simpsonia. I am reporting to you live every single day on all of the campaign trail to ask our candidates the most important issues of our day! This year we have developed hot topics that our candidates face today. Our country has grown in the five years and the challenges we face continue to be the deciding factor for our electoral system! First on our list is…

The Southern Seas Community: Nigel Uno’s Government formed the groundwork for a inter-regional organization that unites the nations in the Southern Seas into an economic and cultural bloc. Whether it remains so, or becomes a military alliance, or a federation of states, or a new Cartoon Empire is up to the new government and what they will decide on.

The Crossoverian Question: Our own relation with Crossoveria has neutralized, but ever since the attack and attempt invasion in 2020 has led a rallying cry for war and our own invasion. The issues of war, the weapons of war, and the justification for war, and the issue of enforcing our own laws, treaties, and the sanctity of human rights remain an issue. Some want to find a way for peace and cooperation between the two countries, others think it is unachievable in our time.

Economic Downturn/International Trade: In the last few months, the economy has been stagnant. There are fears of large economic downturn that could lead the collapse of the Cartoon Economy if nothing is done. There have been calls for our economic system to change, either to deregulation, or full government control. There is also a call to raise tariffs. It is unknown which countries would be affected, either the nations outside of the Southern Seas, or every nation.

Global Warming: With the rising use of fossil fuels and the dangers of pollution becoming more and more prominent. Cartoonia, dependent on a lot of energy for power, industry, and transportation, has to decide what needs to be done to lessen our impact on the environment. Our use of old machines (refitted for the modern era) have contributed to that, and are on the way out. Others want to continue to refit them into models of both tradition and modernity. Others want to take it one step further and look at our allies in AHSCA and their enviormental policies.

Immigration: Every year, we see more and more people from all over the world immigrate to Cartoonia for better opportunities. We continue to welcome more and more into our country, but others view these people as dirty foreigners, a pest on Cartoon culture, and there are a few that they should get out.

Xofrautan: The famine and civil war in Xofrautan is causing a great deal of ruckus. Many parties have sworn to help Xofrautan in bringing humanitarian relief and accepting the thousands of refugees that are going to be displaced. Others want to conquer Xofrautan, and make it a protectorate to avoid the chaos that follows. Others want to see us not get involved, especially pulling out of the coalition as spearheaded by Duchess Marcella Villa of the United Island States.

And those are but a few issues that we will be seeing throughout the campaign. We will continue to bring the latest happenings of the elections as they come, and get up close with our candidates for the most up to date stances. Plus, we talk the common citizens of their own views and stances. For more election news; this is Taiga Ō for PNN.

[Cartoonia]

Transcript of Philips News Network: Election Edition

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TAIGA: Greetings Cartoonian masses, Ths is Taiga Ō for Philips News Network. We are here at the city of Milteu where the past few weeks, a new international organization called the Southern Seas Community was established! This is also the city where one of our candidates hail from. Mr. Alexander Torran of the Cartoon Nationalists is here to open his latest factory to add to the complex of his textile facility. Of course, I will be going to ask him about the important issues of our day. There he is now, let’s catch up to him!

*Runs to Torran, finishing a grand speech on his factory*

TAIGA: Mr. Torran, I’m with the Philips News Network, we would like to ask your opinion on the hot topics that plague our politics!

TORRAN: Well, I’m not too opposed. But make it quick, I’m a very busy man.

TAIGA: Excellent. First question, why are you running for office under the Nationalists?

TORRAN: To put it mildly, I agree with a lot of policies for which they stand. For too long, our government has been taking a backseat to our own lives and focusing too much on the powers outside our great country. What gives them the right to guide our policies. As chancellor, I will cut out the middlemen that pollute our politics. Cartoonia is for true Cartoonians!

TAIGA: Speaking of Cartoonians, we must not forget that those who chose to migrate to our country seeking a new life have become Cartoonians through and through.

TORRAN: Speaking nothing. These foreign expats are ruining our lives. They want nothing but to pollute our country by taking jobs that could be taken by honest working Cartoonians, to brainwash our children with their internationalism, and then take over our government. It is a slippery slope to communism and totalitarianism. Look at the expat from AHSCA, she is running for the chancellery as a member of the Green party and wants to institute the deindustrialization and socialism of our country. These foreigners have got to go!

TAIGA: We want to remind you Mr. Torran, that AHSCA and other nations in the Southern Seas are our most valued trade partners.

TORRAN: Sure, by flooding the market with cheap and inferior goods. Abettonese sugar has not the same kick as sugar grown in Acme Island. I want to propose trade tariffs to boost revenue of our government, but to keep local products more cheap than the competitor.

TAIGA: But that would go against everything the Southern Seas Community stands for.

TORRAN: Who said I supported the SSC? Nothing more than a cheap way to have nations bark orders to us. I will be shutting that idea down once I get elected. If we wanted to unite the Southern Seas, I’d suggest we take a look at the Imperialist book and just conquer the place. Lord knows we could use more land to expand industry.

TAIGA: So war is what you want too?

TORRAN: War is a good thing. It revitlizes an economy, rallies the people together, and we get to test our new military technologies. We have tousands of nuclear warheads at our disposal. I want to use them, especially on that damned Crossoveria. They think that they can defy us? I say not!

TAIGA: Well, I know your busy. So any last words?

TORRAN: Mr. Rochester, if you are watching this, then you better watch out! Our words are backed with nuclear weapons! You will rue the day for messing with the Cartoonian power!

TAIGA: Thank you, Mr. Torran. Well, you heard it here first folks. A jingoist isolationist racist, and an industrial mogul that would like to ruin the economy, or so it seems. We will be back later as we interview our next candidate. For more election updates, I’m Taiga Ó for PNN!

[The Imagination Animals]

OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM THE GOVERNMENT AND ARMED FORCES OF THE VELAYATI REPUBLIC OF CROSSOVERIA

In the name of God, the most gracious and merciful.

On behalf of our country, we would like to address the recent developments in the ongoing Chancellory Election of Cartoonia, especially in regard to our country. Given our history, we would be unsurprised about the negative statements made about Crossoveria, especially since the memory of the ACE’s botched invasion in 2020 is still engraved in memory for many Toons. We don’t blame them. However, we are deeply concerned about the expressed desire of some candidates to restore the conflict.

Let’s be clear: the ACE was the only entity in Crossoveria that sought war with Cartoonia. We are not ruled by the ACE anymore (we haven’t for almost 4 years), and the people currently in power do not have any interest in regenerating conflict. But that does not mean that we won’t respond if provoked or attacked. Nor does it mean that Cartoonia should be the one to restart conflict. We do not believe that your President Jimmy Kudo would like Cartoonia to be the aggressor, given his previous statements.

We don’t want war with Cartoonia. We know the people do not want to see conflict in their country again. Neither do we. But to any Chancellor candidate that wants war with the Velayati Republic of Crossoveria, we sincerely hope that you can consider the fact that you will be dealing with the Crossoverian Armed Forces, not the ACE. The CAF is not only a lot more sophisticated military than the ACE, but also possesses more military capabilities. In fact, its longtime General Kaiketsu Zorori (who I’m aware former delegates to Crossoveria have met) had recently become the country’s new Supreme Leader and thus commander in chief. It would be unwise to engage in war against us given who our leaders are and what our military is like. We are not afraid to fight for the maintenance of our freedom and people, and we will use any means necessary to do so.

This is not a threat. This is just a warning not to restore conflict, given that circumstances are much more different for our country. We sincerely hope whoever becomes Cartoonia’s next chancellor will reflect on the will of the people not to reignite (and worsen) such an unwanted conflict. But for now, we will keep a very close eye on the developments of this election.

We wish good luck to the candidates. Here is to a peaceful transition of power.

Glory to Crossoveria!

Hamad bin Ahmad Al Meskin
President of Crossoveria

[Cartoonia]

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TAIGA: Greetings Cartoonian masses, This is Taiga Ō for Philips News Network. We are in the small farming town of Merini where the Democratic candidate, Senshi Dowāfu where he spoke with the farmer’s guild about his campaign to grow the free market. As a farmer himself, he knows the struggle of regulation in the economy and the farming industry. If elected, this could mark a change in politics that has not been seen since the 1990s. We have not seen conservative politics play in our country since independece, since most of the troubles we had before independence was from Phibetan conservative rule. But, could Mr. Dowāfu chage that? I’m here with him now!

*Runs to Senshi in the farm fields*

TAIGA: Mr. Dowāfu, I’m with the Philips News Network, we would like to ask your opinion on the hot topics that plague our politics!

SENSHI: Of course ma’am. But first, why don’t you have something fresh to eat. I just cooked some carrots and brussel sprouts, baked with garlic and fresh herbs.

TAIGA: Well… okay! *Takes a bite* Wow! Mr. Dowāfu, this is absolutely delicious!

SENSHI: That’s because This has been grown on quality soil, untainted by chemical fertilizers. Unlike other crops that have been subsidized heavily by the government

TAIGA: I think I know what major issues you want to tackle. Either agriculture or government.

SENSHI: Well, I personally think our federal government is way to strong, and way too overbearing. Granted, they have done good things for fellow citizens, and for our relations overseas. But, the subsidies that they give farmers often are for produce that ain’t too good for our soil. Plus, there is an over abundance that cannot be exported out of the country. It buts a strain on farmers and the soil. Our reserves are enough as it is, we should cut down on federal spending and promote a free market system.

TAIGA: Free market system?

SENSHI: This will give our producers of all trades the right to control their own prices and products without the eyes of the government watching over us. Meaning we can create some high quality products at the perfect price.

TAIGA: Wouldn’t that also leave us vulnerable to cheaper products from different countries?

SENSHI: What I would propose then is a preferential trade tariff for nations outside of the Southern Seas area. I am in no way disregarding foreign products, but people will understand to choice of money and how to spend it.

TAIGA: Speaking of the Southern Seas, what are your current plans for the newly formed SSC? I know that the nationalist candidate wants to get rid of it completely.

SENSHI: I think that the SSC is a great organization. It creates a safety net for many of our neighbors to keep from falling into complete chaos if something were to go wrong. I think that is what the federal government should be spending its time and efforts. Leave some things domestically to keep our country going, but the sole purpose is to represent our people and our interests abroad. Which goes for the same in Xofrautan. I don’t believe we should keep supporting humanitarian efforts, but if the situation gets extremely dire, we might have to think about interventionist options on the table.

TAIGA: Thank you, Mr. Dowāfu. Good luck on the campaign. Well, you heard it hear folks. A proud farmer of a proud country that he wants to be free to choose what they want to control. Keep tuned in for more election news. I’m Taiga Ō for Philips News Network

[Cartoonia]

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TAIGA: Greetings Cartoonian masses, This is Taiga Ō for Philips News Network. We are here watching President Jimmy Kudo give his State of the Federation New Years Address. A time for our most prominent politicians to gather and hear the great accomplishments the government has done, the events of our time, and the future of our nation going forward. One of these prominent politicians is our current chancellor, Nigel Uno who like many other incumbents is seeking re-election. Nigel of course brings experience that the other candidates do not have, but of course his administration has been under fire from the whole Crossoveria debacle and how it handled the treaty. I’m here to ask our chancellor hot issues of our day, let’s see if we can find him.

*moves around the crowd of people and sees Chancellor Uno finish talking with a politician*

TAIGA: Mr. Uno, good to see you again. Taiga Ō with Philips News Network, I hope you don’t mind us asking a few questions on the election issues.

NIGEL: By all means, ask away.

TAIGA: Your administration has done a lot of good things during the first five years since you took office, do you have any regrets at all?

NIGEL: Well, my administration has worked closely with our people to provide a higher standard of living in the country. Under the government’s eye, our economy boomed better than ever before despite the short recession that plagued us at the beginning of the new term in 2020. If there is one thing I regretted is not being more firm in our stance when conducting the big international incident that was with Crossoveria. Of course, what I have done since then was completely cut off all ties with them. If I get re-elected, this could be a continuation of those policies. I do hope that relations improve later on in the future, but I am not too opposed if necessary to carry out more harsh sanctions against them.

TAIGA: Speaking of sanctions, The Southern Seas Community which was set up by your administration wants to bring the nations of the Southern Seas together into an economic and cultural alliance. Many have speculated that this is a way to get back at Crossoveria by hitting them with a multinational sanction, influencing our neighbors, in some might say a soft empire with a sphere of influence.

NIGEL: Obviously, we do not see ourselves as an empire. This organization is more concerned on internal trade within the region and mediate concerns in the area. The organization is is in its infancy, so I can not tell what we decide, but that is for the organization to decide.

TAIGA: Any other big things that our viewers should know?

NIGEL: Our platform is mostly a continuation of the current administration more social welfare, more cooperation with our neighbors, and a continued presence of our military for defense. Our regeimental militia system is a most valuable asset, especially after the invasion attempt in 2020. Our forces must remain alert at all times for all occasions.

TAIGA: Do you have anything else to say to our viewers at home that are undecided on who to vote for?

NIGEL: A vote for me is a vote for continuation and peaceful stability!

TAIGA: Thank you, and good luck Mr. Uno. And there you have it folks, our stalwart chancellor continuing to forge the path he has set forth. Keep tuned in for more election news. I’m Taiga Ō for Philips News Network

[Cartoonia]

Transcript of Philips News Network: Election Edition

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TAIGA: Greetings Cartoonian masses, This is Taiga Ō for Philips News Network. We are here at the Toon Point Military Academy, where the cadets are getting ready for the next semester of classes under respected military officers. One of these officers is currently serving as assistant coach for the Toon Point Tankery Club, Second-Lieutenant Riko Matsumoto of the 24th Armored Division, often referred to by her peers as “Erwin” named after the famous Phibetan tank commander of the Second Great War, Erwin Panther. She is currently serving in the Oarai City Council and is the candidate for the Imperialist Party, a party that has seen success in the 1960s but has been relegated as the other party. She hopes for the party to make a comeback duing the upcoming days. What does it mean for our neighbors? That’s why I am here.

*She walks up to Erwin in her military uniform watching a tankery battle from her positions with her binoculars*

TAIGA:Commander, Taiga Ō with Philips News Network, I hope you don’t mind us asking a few questions on the election issues.

*EXPLOSION*

ERWIN: Damn! Looks like A and B team have a lot to learn

TAIGA: Are they okay?

ERWIN: Oh, it’s fine, the tanks are lined with carbon and we use the standard Generaly unPenetratable shells. Anyways, what is it that you want?

TAIGA: I’m with PNN, and would like to ask you election questions

ERWIN: Ah, sure anything for a subject of the empire. Not here though, a lot of military formations are classified. Come with me

TAIGA: Thank you. Empire you say? That is pretty bold of you

ERWIN: What can I say, the Empire of Cartoonia… no, the Cartoonian Empire sounds very fitting. We are a global power now, greater than our former colonizer.

TAIGA: Empire is looked down upon by several nations, especially because of the atrocities caused by these empires in the past

ERWIN: That is because the ideologies of the day were more concerned with territory and wealth. Not much to be gained by those nowadays, (though territory is always nice). We are more concerned about making the world safe for democracy, even if we need to control foreign governments, and take a few ports here and there. I guess you can call it a soft form of imperialism.

TAIGA: How do you suppose we take soft imperialism then?

ERWIN: First, we need to use our industrial might and continue to expand on the military-industrial complex to expand our military might. We will have to introduce mass conscription and a scale we have not seen in our lifetimes. The truth is that man craves war. Man craves conflict and that resolves itself through force. Saber rattling is not just for so how, we really show our might when push comes to shove.

TAIGA: The Phibetan Imperialists are getting a lot of flack for their own imperial ambitions, especially in the Southern Seas, a lot of saber-rattling with the Nationalists against us, AHSCA, Abetton, Kat-

ERWIN: That is a point that is completely missed. Their imperialists have the wrong idea and message. True, we want our sphere of influence in the Southern Seas to expand greatly, but not through force, but with soft diplomacy, persuasion, and the occasional gunboat diplomacy. Our big concern is with nations that try and saber rattle back. Take for example Crossoveria. Relations between us and them are stagnant, but with this statement that they made a few weeks ago, thinking they can take us in a fight is simply a laughable one, and a rallying point to once and for all introduce democracy to a theocratic state.

TAIGA: Speaking of the recent statement, do you know what kind of military capabilities they have?

ERWIN: I do not know, but they are going up against one of the best militaries in the region, with the top military techologies.

*She brings out her smartphone out and shows unclassified images of military vehicles*

ERWIN: Here, we have our top of the line, main battle tank. The M1 Beatles is currently the top tank, tried and true in every training exercise it has participated in. Composite armor, large guns, a large capacity for ammunition, accurate aiming, and can hit targets far away, about 2 miles or so. And over here, is the M3 Saunders, the infantry fighting vehicle! Mechanized infantry at its finest! Small but fast, can shoot 200 rounds per minute, and is amphibious. Perfect for the beach landing! And with the failed invasion of 2020, we began a campaign of equipping every city and town with surface-to-air missiles to take down aircraft, and we are still working on building nuclear weapons. And that is just our current stockpile of equipment and vehicles. Our scientists and military contractors are researching new ways to combat enemy forces in a more efficient way!

TAIGA: That is quite alot

ERWIN: It is for the good of the region, and the empire. Hell, we could test this out in Xofrautan once we actual get involved in more than just humanitarian efforts.

TAIGA: Really?

ERWIN: What is happening in Xofrautan is absolutely terrible, but let us forget it is the nepotism and tyrannical rule of their president that caused this entire situation, as stubborn their government is and all. If we could take control of their circumstances, through force or puppetry, we could take control of the entire Xofrian continent! Think of it as a new Raj, the Cartoon Raj!

TAIGA: And save millions of lives from starvation and war?

ERWIN: Well, that is a benefit of course.

TAIGA: Any last words before we go?

ERWIN: As much as man craves war, Cartoonians crave revenge! The empire builds on the will of the people to go to war for bloodlust and conquest! Don’t forget that! Now, if you will excuse me, I have to oversee another tank battle for the club.

TAIGA: Thank you very much. Well, folks, the people will decide if empire is viable for the country, though I doubt that will be brought into the fold. Her thoughts on the issues do raise good points though, and we will continue to see if these solutions, provide itself to popularity. Keep tuned in for more election news. I’m Taiga Ō for Philips News Network

[Cartoonia]

---

TAIGA: Greetings Cartoonian masses, This is Taiga Ō for Philips News Network. We are here at the Cartoon Libertarian Rally in Aberdale, following the campaign trail of Mr. Henry Ruthford Hill, or Hank Hill to his friends and neighbors. The Libertarian Party saw one success during the 1970s after Cartoonia was through with the problems of the Imperialist party and their proxy war ventures, but that failed when the Libertarians voted to fight alongside Phibeta to reassert control of Bluestralia against the Empire of Tangatarehua which was run by a military junta. The question remains if the Libertarians on a different platform now, can win the votes of the people? Let’s go to Hank right now.

*She walks up to Hank Hill, coming down form the stage*

TAIGA: Mr. Hill, Taiga Ō of Philips News Network. May I ask if we can ask you a few questions on the important issues?

HANK: Of course, ma’am. There is nothing more patriotic than talking with the citizens of our country.

TAIGA: That’s a way of putting it. Now, tell me Mr. Hill. What is it that the Libertarians as a whole want

HANK: Our entire platform is based on the diminishing of the federal government and the full integration of the free market through laissez-faire economics. For too long, the federal government has become more and more overbearing on the ordinary citizens like you and me. It does not help to that our hard-earned money is taxed heavily. I say the government is to large and needs to be cut down to size.

TAIGA: What do you propose how to deal with the federal government then?

HANK: What we need is to cut down on unnecessary government agencies. National Textbook Agency? Cartoon Healthcare Administration? National Marriage Index? All of these unnecessary agencies cost the Cartoon taxpayer tens of thousands of Toooniusas every year, and it all contributes to the terrible bureaucracy that keeps people from doing what needs to be done. What we need is a complete overhaul of the government to be more efficient.

TAIGA: What about taxes?

HANK: That’s the best part. If we do not need to take as much money to pay for different agencies, we can essentially cut back on taxes, leaving more money in the Cartoon worker’s wallet!

TAIGA: What about things like the Department of Child Welfare? The Department of Defense? They take a lot of the Cartoonian tax dollar.

HANK: There are several agencies that are important, the ones that serve our military, protect our children, deal with external affairs that suit our interests. Those can stay, but there are several including healthcare and education that I feel can be taken care of by the private sector.

TAIGA: The military? Are you thinking about-

HANK: I know what you’re thinking, but no. Our military should only be used for the defense of the country. I am opposed to militarism and imperialism. I think the experiment of empire in the 1960s died after the whole Bluestrailia incident. But of course, I won’t stop any of them trying to speak up. Freedom of speech and worship are very important.

TAIGA: What are your thoughts on the SSC?

HANK: That is the one thing the federal government should continue to pursue. The job here is to deal with foreign governments and this economic bloc can be useful in terms of economic growth and stability. We must be careful however to not enforce our own ideals. Other countries have the right to self-rule. We are just merely strengthening the economic ties we have in the region.

TAIGA: Any last word before we have to go?

HANK: The country is like propane, can’t work right without the regulation the government provides, but too much regulation can lead to severe consequences that just ain’t right

TAIGA: Thanks Hank! Small government is an interesting viewpoint, on which has barely set its course, but Hank has the ideas to bring it into fruition. Keep tuned in for more election news. I’m Taiga Ō for Philips News Network

ATTENTION: THIS IS YOUR LAST WEEK TO VOTE!!!

Polls close on Sunday, January 12 at 8:06 PM

Make sure to get to the polls on time and cast your vote, either on here or on the form (which to iterate WILL NOT be collecting emails).

-National Election Committee

[Cartoonia]

ELECTION UPDATES:

At the current time, The CRP holds a slim majority of the House, at 51.4% of seats going to them. Coalition government has not yet been announced.

From current exit poll data, Here are the top four candidates to go into the secondary elections

Nigel Uno & Conan Edogawa (CRP) - 22.6% of the popular vote
Senshi Dowāfu and Laois Touden (CDP) - 15.4% of the popular vote
Lisanna Simpson and Penelope “Pepper” Mills (CRFP) - 14.9% of the popular vote
Wendy Testaburger and Velma Kailing (CFP) - 13.8% of the popular vote

-National Election Committee

[Cartoonia]

ELECTION UPDATES:

Elections for the Cartoon House of Representatives have been called, The National Election Committee has counted the votes of the different cities and towns that make up the electoral population. They have announced that…

CARTOON HOUSE REPUBLICANS hold a slim majority of the House, with 51.4% Seats. House Republicans are in negotiations with other parties to form a coalition.

Congratulations to our four candidates that will move on to the secondary elections. These four will go head to head as they win the hearts of the rest of the populus and possibly other countries who wish to endorse. The secondary elections will take place in Late January into Early Feburary. The rest of the candidates might want to run again in the future if they please. Now without further ado. The National Election Committee has counted up the votes of the population. Here are the top four results.

Nigel Uno & Conan Edogawa (CRP) - 22.6% of the popular vote

Senshi Dowāfu and Laois Touden (CDP) - 15.4% of the popular vote

Lisanna Simpson and Penelope “Pepper” Mills (CRFP) - 14.9% of the popular vote

Wendy Testaburger and Velma Kailing (CFP) - 13.8% of the popular vote

-National Election Committee

[New Harken]

To Alexander Torran

I must say I've been reading about this election in your nation with great interest. First I'll start by saying It is a great shame how your party performed, I had only wished I'd have acted sooner and perhaps you might have done far better. Personally I have my opinions on why you failed, such as that girl Matsumuto thinking she can play politician and perhaps taking votes away from you as a result. Despite the results and the poor outcome that it showed I suggest, nay I urge you to contest it as much as you can and get your party's election gears rolling again. In fact there is much you could potentially learn from New Harken and National Democracy. Of course everything I've said has merely been suggestion and I'd never claim I knew better than you on such matters in your country. Just know that I believe you have what it takes to make a proper nation and know that I am more than willing to lend you support in whatever way I can, No strings attached.

Viktor Krameer, President of New Harken