[Draft] Ghost(fili)busters

[Floofybit]

I've tried another issue. A bit rough and a tad too late for Halloween.

[Title] Ghost(fili)busters

[Validity] Atheism is NOT mandatory

[Description] Another critical meeting with your advisors was postponed after rumours of unexplained noises, cold spots, and flickering lights.

[Option 1] ”It might come as a ghastly revelation but even the greatest leaders can feel heavy-laden with evil spirits,” explains your spiritual advisor, Father @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, as he thumbs through @@FAITH@@’s holy text. “Let me yoke your ghost issue and perform daily blessings in the boardroom. Friends around @@CAPITAL@@ have entrusted me specifically to exorcise their houses. With me, you are in good hands.” He wields a smudge stick and waves it aimlessly throughout your office.
[Effect] meetings are postponed due to potent sage smells

[Option 2] ”Back off man, I’m a ghost hunter,” commands esteemed scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ and @@HIS@@ quartet stride confidently into your office. “Ghosts and government existing together is mass hysteria. You don’t need a blessing; you need a permanent solution.” @@HE@@ flaunts a vacuum like machine attached to @@HIS@@ back. “The Boson Backpack can flawlessly trap ghouls and if you find it satisfactory, we can trap every ghost in @@NATION@@! Just give us a call.”
[Effect] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ afraid of ghosts are told to suck it up

[Option 3] ”That’s no ghost!” declares plump electrician @@RANDOMNAME@@ with a spirited laugh and greasy wrench in hand. “You’ve got yerself an electrical problem. Leave it to me and yer meetin’ room will be in tip top shape in no time. Fer a hefty cost of course.” @@HE@@ roars with laughter but stops as the lights flicker.
[Effect] unsettling noises are told to pipe down

[Option 4] ”Apologies for the delay, @@LEADER@@,” mutters @@RANDOMNAME@@, advisor of labour statistics, struggling to carry a stack of pie charts and bar graphs as @@HE@@ rushes into your office. “I came in an hour before the scheduled time and you were the only one here. I assumed it was cancelled. I will not tolerate another cancellation. If any advisor uses ghosts as an excuse to not work, they must be laid off. And while you’re at it, screen any new hires to confirm they’re not psychotic.” @@HE@@ stares at the others in the room and shakes @@HIS@@ head disappointedly.
[Effect] advisors who speak of spirits are spirited away

(Still working on this, pace will be slow)

[Verdant Haven]

Alrighty, lessee... "NationStates does not formally acknowledge the presence of ghosts or supernatural, and must..."

Oh wait...

A first draft of a ghost issue that realizes our policy on supernatural stuff? Sorry, the instinct to reply as above was automatic after so many drafts that come in without that understanding. Phew, been a while!

- In terms of validity, we can track certain concepts of spiritualism in a manner beyond just the atheism policy, so we could add those to the validity if you like. Certainly the cancellation of a cabinet meeting due to "ghosts" seems to suggest more that people are widely credulous in a way that isn't accounted for by normal measures of faith. People who have the "Oracle" banner on their nation may know what I'm talking about ;-)

- Option 1: Probably want to pluralize "house" but otherwise not too bad.

- Effect 1: Your effect lines in general exhibit a good instinct – very nice. One could make a play on "following sage advice" if you're so inclined.

- Option 2: The "his quartet" feels a bit rough here, as that would normally imply a group of musicians. Probably best to describe that as something like "@@HIS@@ three colleagues" or the like. One could play with the identification of this "esteemed scientist" who thinks s/he's a ghostbuster by calling them something a bit more silly, like "stientist" (complete with scare quotes – a reference to the TV show Disenchantment), or using a different descriptor that leans into what they actually do. Either way, comma after the name rather than before.

- Effect 2: Very fun wordplay, good work. I'd probably slightly tweak to "are told to suck it up" but otherwise, perfect.

- Option 3: This is the weakest option and needs a bit of work. The speaker is called an electrician, but is described like a plumber. What trade are they really? The last line, with the background action from the secretary, doesn't contribute at all. The first two speakers are already basically a "hire me and I'll fix it!" solution. Is there a way to make the third anything but that? Maybe this person already works here (a staff USRO perhaps?), and it's merely a matter of keeping up with the preventive maintenance backlog? Just something to make it a bit more unique.

- Effect 3: Another great bit of wordplay... *if* this guy is a plumber. For an electrician, it just loses some of its power.

- Option 4: This seems reasonable.

- Overall, I'd say this is a very solid first draft. Good wordplay concepts in the effects, understanding how to approach a supernatural topic, straightforward solutions of reasonable length... keep it up.

[Australian rePublic]

You don't need to be religious to believe in ghosts. Take the entirety of China, a country home to nearly 20% of the world's population as a perfect example of that. 20% of anything is hardly fringe either