The Relationships and Lovers Discussion Thread

[Australian rePublic]

This is NOT a dating thread. Please seek matchmaking elsewhere.

Oh boy, it's 3 am and I can't fucking sleep, so why not discuss relationships of all things? Basically I have never been in a relationship and I've believed I would never be good enough for a woman. I am a 100% heterosexual man so I desire a woman. However, I have put myself out there and whilst I have spotted a few who appear to be catfish, there might be some genuine woman out there who can put up with me and my nonsense. I mean, there are tens of millions of single women in my age range in every corner of the world. Surely one of them could like me? why the hell would I not irritate strangers on the internet with my personal problems? and who better to seek advice from than a large, diverse community of people who have a wide variety of experiences in relationships, heterosexual and non-heterosexual. A community where we can give each other advice and share stories.

Anyone here in a relationship? Anyone here been married? Anyone here been divorced? Widowed? Are you a man in a relationship with a man? Are you a man in a relationship with a woman? Are you a woman in a relationship with a woman? Are you in a relationship with a non-binary human being? Are you a non-binary human being in a relationship? (I'm not getting into all those non-binary combos) so long as your relationship is between two consenting adults. Have you had a nasty break up and want a sympathetic ear to cry on? Or maybe you just want to boast about how wonderful your lover is.

Everyone's welcome in this. Is there a girl/guy/non-binary that you like and want advice to ask them out? This is the thread for it! You can also talk about your friend's and family members' relationships.

Let's discuss relationships...

My parents' 30th anniversary is coming up in January. They really love each other. I was born in October of the year they were married. My best friend has been dating a guy for a few years now and they want to marry but can't find the money to do so. If they do find the money, it'd be the first gay wedding I've ever attended.

And even though neither of us are currently in a relationship, I've been up all night partly brainstorming a wedding speech for my and my sister's potential future weddings, because, evidently, I am more insane than I otherwise thought.

Anyways, let's discuss relationships.

I was on a dating group on Facebook the other day where I saw a man offering his 18 year old daughter from overseas to be married to a man in Australia. I considering finding out more about her, but then I thought, (aside from the possibility that it's a visa scam or a catfish), that's not right. I mean, I have a family member from Greece who was forced by her father to marry an older man in Australia and it ruined her life. If it was this lady's own decision to marry someone in Australia, I would have considered finding out more about her, but it seemed her father wanted to marry her off to anyone he can in Australia, despite her opinion on the matter, and I can't do that to some poor girl. The worst part wasn't even the 11 year age gap, that wouldn't have bothered me if she was happy with it. The worst part was the woman's lack of agency in the matter.

[Gaybeans]

Honestly as much as having a girlfriend would be cool and rad, I feel like I'm not in the best place mentally to be in a relationship and that's fine, honestly. I'd rather work on myself than drag someone into a relationship where I'm always one disaster away from a psych ward or an urn. It's not fair on either on us, y'know?

I think people forget sometimes that being alone is still a better prospect than being in a toxic and shitty relationship. I've been in those and while in the beginning, it's all fun, poetry and butterflies but when it goes south, I exit the relationship in a drastically worse state than I arrived and I cannot deal with the idea that I might drag someone down with me, Mountain Goats 'No Children' Style. Hell, my first girlfriend and I had shared delusions for gods sake. That's bad news bears all round.

What I can say for certain is that internet dating is iffy as hell. Probably best to go places like singles night or speed dating or whatever. It feels less...possible to get catfished and shit. Not impossible to get screwed over but a lot of internet dating - for me anyway - doesn't go anywhere. I might just be shite at it though.

[Jabberwocky]

Like your parents, my wife and I have been married 30 years, and we still really love each other. We had some problems, but years ago. She is truly my best friend.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Like your parents, my wife and I have been married 30 years, and we still really love each other. We had some problems, but years ago. She is truly my best friend.

Every couple has its issues. The key is how those are resolved.

[Ethel mermania]

I am a toxic male, married for far to long to admit too. Wife two kids.

We have had our ups and downs, but have never hated each other on the same day.

[Australian rePublic]

Like your parents, my wife and I have been married 30 years, and we still really love each other. We had some problems, but years ago. She is truly my best friend.

Of course you've problems. We're all flawed human beings. What's important is that you can get past your problems, you're loyal to each other and that you love each other

I am a toxic male, married for far to long to admit too. Wife two kids.

We have had our ups and downs, but have never hated each other on the same day.

You're either not a toxic male but rather a flawed human being and you just have a low opinion of yourself, or you are a toxic male and have manipulated your wife into loving you somehow. However, being toxic usually requires a level of narcissism which requires you to think that the sun shines out your arse and the fact that you're willing to admit that you're a flawed human almost certainly indicates that you're not toxic

[Lumiere du Premier]

I'm only interested in anime characters and nobody can fix that.

I'm completely and mentally stable.

Is that a civilian airliner...

[Ethel mermania]

Like your parents, my wife and I have been married 30 years, and we still really love each other. We had some problems, but years ago. She is truly my best friend.

Of course you've problems. We're all flawed human beings. What's important is that you can get past your problems, you're loyal to each other and that you love each other

I am a toxic male, married for far to long to admit too. Wife two kids.

We have had our ups and downs, but have never hated each other on the same day.

You're either not a toxic male but rather a flawed human being and you just have a low opinion of yourself, or you are a toxic male and have manipulated your wife into loving you somehow. However, being toxic usually requires a level of narcissism which requires you to think that the sun shines out your arse and the fact that you're willing to admit that you're a flawed human almost certainly indicates that you're not toxic

I like my balls and I am fairly proud of them which is why I call myself a toxic male. I am happy to be a man.

You are right of course when you call me a flawed human being. I will say I know who I am and I am OK with the result.

How does that effect my relationships, which gets to the point of your thread. I know who I am and what I expect from a relationship. It makes it easier as my wife knows who she is and can clearly define her wants and needs and has a pretty clear idea of what makes me happy. As a team we put a fairly high priority on the others happiness.

RuPaul says something that I think is very true. You can't love somebody else till you love yourself. That means knowing who you are and being comfortable in your shoes.

[Isla Byron]

Honestly as much as having a girlfriend would be cool and rad, I feel like I'm not in the best place mentally to be in a relationship and that's fine, honestly. I'd rather work on myself than drag someone into a relationship where I'm always one disaster away from a psych ward or an urn. It's not fair on either on us, y'know?

I think people forget sometimes that being alone is still a better prospect than being in a toxic and shitty relationship. I've been in those and while in the beginning, it's all fun, poetry and butterflies but when it goes south, I exit the relationship in a drastically worse state than I arrived and I cannot deal with the idea that I might drag someone down with me, Mountain Goats 'No Children' Style. Hell, my first girlfriend and I had shared delusions for gods sake. That's bad news bears all round.

What I can say for certain is that internet dating is iffy as hell. Probably best to go places like singles night or speed dating or whatever. It feels less...possible to get catfished and shit. Not impossible to get screwed over but a lot of internet dating - for me anyway - doesn't go anywhere. I might just be shite at it though.

painfully relatable. i wish i had more to say, probably something comforting ideally but i dunno. you'll make it, and don't leave so soon.

[Floofybit]

I've never had a date. Do they taste good?

[Hwiteard]

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

That's C.S. Lewis, and I agree with the statement. Relationships—especially romantic ones—are just sources of drama and pain. Hard pass. I get that we're fundamentally social creatures, but when it comes to love, I'll keep my distance, thank you very much.

[Ethel mermania]

I've never had a date. Do they taste good?

Yes, yes they do.

[Ineva]

We passed our four-year anniversary last month. Wish she was here to celebrate it.

[Fractalnavel]

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

That's C.S. Lewis, and I agree with the statement. Relationships—especially romantic ones—are just sources of drama and pain. Hard pass. I get that we're fundamentally social creatures, but when it comes to love, I'll keep my distance, thank you very much.

Up to you what you take away from that, of course, but that statement was meant to be in support of romantic love, because the alternative, in that statement's opinion, was a form of death.

[Kostane]

I have not ever been in a romantic relationship, and I do not know that I ever will. I don’t have the kind of charisma and ability to take a risk to ever get over the initial barrier of asking someone out. Anytime I think about it, I feel like I’m too content by myself to risk doing something else.

I really wish that the social norm was for women to ask men out. Would make it a lot easier (although it’s dubious whether I would get asked out). Besides, there’s not really a point in having a relationship at my age. I just wish I did, to know if it was something I’m capable of. It’s not a sense of loneliness that makes me want a relationship, but the feeling of not knowing what I could have.

Anyways. That’s my rant.

[Cessarea]

What I can say for certain is that internet dating is iffy as hell.

Never let yourself fall in love with words behind a screen is all I can say on this. If you're going to try to meet someone online (with romantic intent), make sure that there is a future possibility for meeting and doing things in person.

[Kostane]

What I can say for certain is that internet dating is iffy as hell.

Never let yourself fall in love with words behind a screen is all I can say on this. If you're going to try to meet someone online (with romantic intent), make sure that there is a future possibility for meeting and doing things in person.

Real people have the ability to lie just as easily as words on a screen. Functionally, the main difference with something only online is that none of it’s private, but it’s dubious whether things physically are even private anymore. Yeah, if you want a physical relationship obvious pursuing an online relationship wouldn’t work. But I think if you know from the start that what you want is purely digital, and you’re not deluding yourself, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have that. I don’t know, maybe I’m missing something here, but I feel like it should be about what makes you happy, and if hiding behind a screen makes you happier, maybe there’s some merit in doing it.

[Lumiere du Premier]

What I can say for certain is that internet dating is iffy as hell.

Never let yourself fall in love with words behind a screen is all I can say on this. If you're going to try to meet someone online (with romantic intent), make sure that there is a future possibility for meeting and doing things in person.

Stop. Don't tell me bout reality, as a person who regularly talks to anime characters this is the last i want to hear about.

[A m e n r i a]

So...in other words, this is a dating thread?

Anyways, how would you define a nasty breakup? Is it one where you end up hating ger and vice versa? Or simply one that's memorable?

[Floofybit]

So...in other words, this is a dating thread?

Anyways, how would you define a nasty breakup? Is it one where you end up hating ger and vice versa? Or simply one that's memorable?

You sneeze all over her on purpose

[Kostane]

So...in other words, this is a dating thread?

Anyways, how would you define a nasty breakup? Is it one where you end up hating ger and vice versa? Or simply one that's memorable?

You sneeze all over her on purpose

That’s not a nasty breakup, that’s a crime scene waiting to happen.

[Floofybit]

You sneeze all over her on purpose

That’s not a nasty breakup, that’s a crime scene waiting to happen.

She finds out about your contagious fungal infection

[Kostane]

That’s not a nasty breakup, that’s a crime scene waiting to happen.

She finds out about your contagious fungal infection

Why did I see this and immediately look down and see Infected Mushroom in active players? The coincidence is too great to ignore.

I don’t know. Fungal infections aren’t that difficult to treat. If I was with someone and found out they had a contagious fungal infection, I’d be fine with it. Now, I wouldn’t exactly pile on the PDA after learning this, but… there’s just so many other things in the world.

[A m e n r i a]

So...in other words, this is a dating thread?

Anyways, how would you define a nasty breakup? Is it one where you end up hating ger and vice versa? Or simply one that's memorable?

You sneeze all over her on purpose

POV: you are Columbus

[Floofybit]

She finds out about your contagious fungal infection

Why did I see this and immediately look down and see Infected Mushroom in active players? The coincidence is too great to ignore.

I don’t know. Fungal infections aren’t that difficult to treat. If I was with someone and found out they had a contagious fungal infection, I’d be fine with it. Now, I wouldn’t exactly pile on the PDA after learning this, but… there’s just so many other things in the world.

Yeah, I got nothing