by National Coraland of Fishery » Wed Oct 23, 2024 12:10 pm
by National Coraland of Fishery » Fri Oct 25, 2024 6:19 am
by Ostrovskiy » Fri Oct 25, 2024 6:34 am
by National Coraland of Fishery » Fri Oct 25, 2024 6:49 am
Ostrovskiy wrote:First off, welcome to GI, and congrats on writing a coherent draft and picking out a topic that hasn't obviously been covered before (this alone puts you in the top 20% lol)!
As for the feedback, first of all, please run this through a spell check. I'm not sure if you're a native English speaker but there are a lot of small errors (mine's should be mines, Oh, This should be Oh, this, etc.) that make it hard to read. Also, some of the wording is clunky (you repeat "sigh" twice in the same sentence in the description, for example). I would suggest getting someone to proofread it and fix these minor errors.
Your effect lines just don't work. The first two aren't funny or humorous or really make sense. The 3rd one is hilarious and a perfect effect line. Unfortunately, it implies Santa exists which implies Christmas exists which you can't really do.
Just two really quick cents, hopefully more later!
by National Coraland of Fishery » Fri Oct 25, 2024 8:24 am
Ostrovskiy wrote:-snip-
by Tinhampton » Fri Oct 25, 2024 10:57 am
National Coraland of Fishery wrote:Validity: Invalid for nuclear-powered nations.
by National Coraland of Fishery » Fri Oct 25, 2024 11:42 am
Tinhampton wrote:National Coraland of Fishery wrote:Validity: Invalid for nuclear-powered nations.
Why? Coal plants and nuclear plants can co-exist: they did in the UK for something like sixty years, until the coal-powered Ratcliffe-on-Soar power station in Nottinghamshire shut down a few weeks ago.
Onto the issue itself - Option 1 is pretty good. But all of the above what? He's only listed two items.
The description says that "the spoil only reached a kilometer away from the civilization," which doesn't strike me as good English. Perhaps say "the spoil came less than a kilometer away from destroying the town's elementary school?"
The NCB speaker in Option 2 has a good line of argument, but he's stuffed it a bit too much - he's saying both that coal mines help make @@NAME@@ prosperous and that... they're in widespread use in a lot of other countries?
"takes off their watch" should also be "takes off his watch," as you intend for the speaker to be a man.
The SAY NO TO COAL speaker in Option 3 is all over the place - @@HE@@ babbles on about how coal is bad and harmful and should be regulated, only to pivot and say we should be moving to green energy sources as well. Find an argument and make it stick, please!
In general, though, I encourage you to research Aberfan and other coal tip disasters. Aberfan sparked a debate of its own - in Wales as well as the entire UK - that went far beyond "should we use coal or not?" but also touched on NCB and government neglect of Welsh communities. I keep thinking that was the big 1960s disaster that destroyed a Welsh-speaking community, but on further research, I have it mixed up with the flooding of Tryweryn village to create a new reservoir for Liverpool (nb, in England).
by Klaus Devestatorie » Fri Oct 25, 2024 7:39 pm
by National Coraland of Fishery » Sat Oct 26, 2024 1:29 am
Klaus Devestatorie wrote:My understanding is this is about the Aberfan disaster, which is a great issue topic, but I'm curious- why spare the school? The issue loses the punch if there's no death and destruction. A landslide a kilometre away from the school sounds like a success of safety precautions, not a failure; the worst has happened, but nobody was harmed.
Similarly, if the issue at hand is about Aberfan, the primary point the speakers should be talking about is the landslide. Discussion about global warming and reliable electricity generation is important, but they should take a back seat to the discussion of the disaster itself.
We currently have #69, #669 and #1639 going over whether or not coal should be mined or be part of the energy mix- keep an eye on those to make sure you're taking a different angle. That said, it's impossible to address this topic without also having someone suggest a total ban on coal mining, so I would keep the option suggesting that ban anyway.
by Australian rePublic » Sun Oct 27, 2024 2:35 am
by National Coraland of Fishery » Sun Oct 27, 2024 6:02 am
Australian rePublic wrote:Hi welcome to Got Issues:
Here's some feedback
1. Option 1- you can't just decide where to put coal mines and coal deposits. Coal deposits are where they are. Also, many of these towns would exist BECAUSE of
coal mines, so pushing mines out to the middle of nowhere would require the establishment of new coal towns will just repeat the problem (unless you have fly in fly out operations)
2. The title suggests that this issue is about kids working in coal mines
by National Coraland of Fishery » Sun Oct 27, 2024 9:42 am
by National Coraland of Fishery » Sun Nov 03, 2024 8:55 am
by National Coraland of Fishery » Wed Nov 06, 2024 10:46 pm
by National Coraland of Fishery » Sun Nov 10, 2024 12:24 am
by Tinhampton » Sun Nov 10, 2024 2:23 am
by National Coraland of Fishery » Sun Nov 10, 2024 8:19 am
Tinhampton wrote:How were the non-random names in Options 2/3 determined? The RANDOMNAME macro can be gendered.
Also, why did Margaret Clarke steal my chair?
I still think that the effect lines aren't as surprising as they could be (I'd say "shocking" but this is already a tense enough issue that it wouldn't be welcome).
by Tinhampton » Mon Nov 11, 2024 3:10 am
National Coraland of Fishery wrote:I just did names so it can be worked with, it will be added when published...
by National Coraland of Fishery » Mon Nov 11, 2024 5:41 am
Tinhampton wrote:National Coraland of Fishery wrote:I just did names so it can be worked with, it will be added when published...
So why does "Principal @@RANDOM_NAME@@" not have a fixed name? You know fully well that it's possible to give every person in your issue a random name. If you submit the issue as it is, the editors may not know your intentions, and might therefore believe that you intended to name your other characters Desmond Clarke and Margaret Holmes (not the other way around, sorry :P).
by National Coraland of Fishery » Thu Nov 14, 2024 8:16 am
by National Coraland of Fishery » Sun Nov 17, 2024 4:20 am
by Governor George C Wallace » Sun Nov 17, 2024 4:53 pm
“Coal has long served as the cornerstone of our energy sector,” remarks National Coal Board Chairman Desmond Clarke, with a hint of concern as he straightens his suit. “It’s abundant, reliable, and, quite frankly, economically advantageous. This recent tragedy only underscores the importance of adequate funding to ensure operational safety. More resources are essential if we’re to avoid further disruptions – think of it as an investment in the public good,” he adds while standing proud. “And naturally, we all have the children’s welfare in mind. No price is too high, right?”
Fallout: Children associate coal mines with piggy banks.
by National Coraland of Fishery » Sun Nov 17, 2024 8:52 pm
Governor George C Wallace wrote:I know you have already submitted this issue, but I find it truly well written.“Coal has long served as the cornerstone of our energy sector,” remarks National Coal Board Chairman Desmond Clarke, with a hint of concern as he straightens his suit. “It’s abundant, reliable, and, quite frankly, economically advantageous. This recent tragedy only underscores the importance of adequate funding to ensure operational safety. More resources are essential if we’re to avoid further disruptions – think of it as an investment in the public good,” he adds while standing proud. “And naturally, we all have the children’s welfare in mind. No price is too high, right?”
Fallout: Children associate coal mines with piggy banks.
This is the option I am choosing since it is the only option that boosts our nation’s welfare while refraining from the complete overhaul of its economy. Good luck with submission
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