God's Federal Ministry: Free Bibles.

[Holy Federation of Stars]

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
- Galatians 3:28

Hail to thee, fair nations! We are God's Federal Ministry, an organization of Hecklerist Christians under the Holy Federation's guidance. We speak so that all may hear the words of the LORD. Today we come to you with an offering. We are giving away free bibles to whoever hears our call.

We offer bibles in all languages and versions, though we personally prefer KJV for study and NIV for Evangelicalism. We also offer up to 180,000 bibles, delivered by orbital drop to a designated location. Do not worry, the descent will not damage any local structure - one may even land it on a building. Afterwards, one may use your bibles for any purpose as desired - whether to learn God's word yourself or proselytize to others. Even if you seek harm, we do not worry. For even in destruction, you spread his name.

Simply sign the form below if you are interested.

Code: Select all

Nation Name:
Leader (Optional):
Does thou knowth Christ? (optional):
 
No. of Bibles:
Language/Version:
Location of Descent (Optional):
Purpose (Optional):

Other Comments (Optional):

In the LORD's name we pray, Amen.

[Xshor]

Nation Name: <<---xshor--->>
Leader (Optional): <<---[[roach]]---definitely leader---ha-ha-ha--->>
Does thou knowth Christ? (optional): <<---no--->>

No. of Bibles: <<---one--->>
Language/Version: <<---can't read human---think [[silver-moth-dust]] can read sa'arzin---go with that--->>
Location of Descent (Optional): <<---forest clearing---by silk-span lake---not over city---too much trouble--->>
Purpose (Optional): <<---curious--- --->>

Other Comments (Optional): <<---if hit someone on head with this---spreads god's name?--->>

[Holy Federation of Stars]

Nation Name: <<---xshor--->>
Leader (Optional): <<---[[roach]]---definitely leader---ha-ha-ha--->>
Does thou knowth Christ? (optional): <<---no--->>

No. of Bibles: <<---one--->>
Language/Version: <<---can't read human---think [[silver-moth-dust]] can read sa'arzin---go with that--->>
Location of Descent (Optional): <<---forest clearing---by silk-span lake---not over city---too much trouble--->>
Purpose (Optional): <<---curious--- --->>

Other Comments (Optional): <<---if hit someone on head with this---spreads god's name?--->>

Very well, Roach. It shall be delivered soon enough. We might need some time translating the Bible into Sa'arzin, but expect an expedient delivery otherwise.

And indeed it is. It is Unorthodox, but by turning the Bible into a weapon - you turn it into God's sword and shield. Fighting your enemies shows that God's protects his flock and vanquishes his enemies. We engage in it ourselves from time-to-time even.

In the LORD's name, Amen. Accepted

[Owonyaania]

Nation Name: Owonyaania
Leader (Optional): Mami Tomoe (high priestess) Kyubey (Deity)
Does thou knowth Christ? (optional): We nyevew spoke to him! We knyow his powtwayaws but nyot stwicte him. ^._.^ But if you have contact wif him we can twy to get to know him.

No. of Bibles: one
Language/Version: New Revised Standard Version
Location of Descent (Optional): Honestly where it would be most comfortable for you, we can try to travel ourselves to the destination. But if we have to choose where it would be best for us then our capital of Kyubeisutoku (located where Vladivostok would be in what is known to be more conventional timelines)
Purpose (Optional): We want to get to know Christ!

Other Comments (Optional): If I read aloud some verses in original Hebrew will it summon demons? /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

[Holy Federation of Stars]

-snip for formatting reasons-

Splendid news! I am so glad you wish to know more about his word! Even if reading this nearly gave me a stroke. We would actually be more comfortable the other way around - since we do not wish to catch any diseases you might have.

To answer your question, this would not be possible; even terrible misreadings of the bible are still holy enough to ward off such things.. One must look to The Lesser Key of Solomon or another Grimoire for advice to summon a demon. However, one should note that doing so is liable to have disastrous consequences. The role of the unholy demon is to tempt, not to scare, torture, or kill. If one were to summon, say, Astaroth - he would answer any question you have, even ones you perhaps shouldn't know the answer to.

In the LORD's name, Amen. Accepted

[Valentine Z]

Nation Name: De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z.
Leader (Optional): Chief Aviator Eveline Gwen Tracer Hepburn “Fate of Existence and the Omniverse” Ellen Trixie Caitlin Foxworthy Avril Verlene Celinda Sammy Doris T-Rev Oxton Arielle Lindall Leslie Vitesse Allison.
Does thou knowth Christ? (optional): Yes! Eveline (along with a couple of Valentians) have met Him. Well, many versions of Him, at least. No comment on who is the true one, for it might incite a fair lot of controversy that even Eveline don't want to deal with.

No. of Bibles: 31
Language/Version: 6 in English, the rest in your world's many languages.
Location of Descent (Optional): Can you airdrop it to a field in Valentine Z? Coordinates: 36°14′49″N 116°49′01″W.
Purpose (Optional): Eveline loves artifacts and items from other worlds, and on top of that, Valentians absolutely value these items.

Other Comments (Optional): These Bibles will be treated with utmost respect. IF HFoS is fine with this idea, we may also make free digital versions with no options to make a profit out of them. Many of them will be sent to museums all over Valentine Z's Earth and Mars.

Despite the discovery of space-time and perhaps (almost) everything in existence, Eveline (along with the Valentians as a whole) managed to maintain a demographic whereby there are still 1.6 billion Valentians that follows Christianity in general. [OOC: This might get expanded as my own writing thing (i.e. what are Valentian versions like?), but religion, as always... is a complicated and touchy topic. ICly: Best to handwave it for now.]

[Natkr]

Nation Name: The People's Republic of Natkr
Leader (Optional):
Does thou knowth Christ? (optional): Yes, He is our Lord and Savior, thou in him we trust

No. of Bibles: 100 million cases
Language/Version: ESV, KJV
Location of Descent (Optional):
Purpose (Optional): To spread the gospel throughout Natkr

Other Comments (Optional):

[Holy Federation of Stars]

-snip-

Of course! We would be more than happy to have His Word digitized for all to see! Since you mention the languages of our world(s), the remaining 25 will be divided between each planet's three most prominent languages - such as Arabic, Remertians, Millimer, Naiwi, etc. They shall be transported to your Death Valley soon enough.

In the LORD's name, Amen. Accepted.

-snip-

Splendid! Such a large order will surely spread his gospel.

In the LORD's name, Amen. Accepted

[The Papal Curia]

[box]

The Papal Curia

.
.
Sirs

In The name of The Holy Father Pivs XX, The true Holy Mother Church, Heir to 2000 years of Christianity since Petrvs the i must express its dismay and abhorrancy for your business . Who ever is The leader of this heresy is for now on excumungated. Peace and pardon for the others that where victims in a less sirious situation..

May God keep You in good Health
His Grace Bishop Sforzza, Secretary of State to The Pope

[Holy Federation of Stars]

-snip-

To Sforzza,

Firstly, I would like to inform thou that I, Nikiv Arganopiv, Chairwoman of God's Federal Ministry, am in fact a woman. Thy basal assumptions about who may serve the LORD have been noted.

Secondly, what thou art suggesting is that thou discourage evangelism! We make no profit off of HIS word; we merely wish for the righteous to spread HIS word and for the unknowing to learn it. If thou thinketh that the pagan should better live and die a pagan than live and die a heretical Christian, thou cannot call thineself a good follower. In that regard, if thou wish to debate theology with the members of our Church, there art proper channels for that. Otherwise, we ask for thou to stop interfering with our work.

May you find him,
Chairwoman Nikiv Arganopiv

[The Papal Curia]

We have a say that is " voices of donkeys never reach the skies". The matter of God is, for us universal. The Holy Mother Church professes the Progressive Cristianism where ladies can BE ordained , get married and all that comes with it. We respect The human being. Still The basics of The Church are the same.

[Patriots Without a Nation]

Stop this woke nonsense right now bud
- A Patriot