[Submitted] Cut the Cheese

[Bisofeyr]

THE ISSUE: A recent national health survey has discovered that @@NAME@@'s cuisine has become increasingly cheese-based, leading grating demands regarding a related increase in cardiovascular diseases and chronic flatulence.
VALIDITY: High cheese exports, low health

OPTION ONE: "@@LEADER@@, this is a complete travesty!" moans your personal doctor, Noelle Marcelline, as she yanks a block of cheese out of your assistant's hands. "Our people are at an increased risk of death, all for a little cheddar! We must institute a strict cheese limit of one block per day, lest our population becomes known for their heartburn and methane output!"
EFFECT ONE: dad jokes have been outlawed for being "too cheesy"

OPTION TWO: "Oh, you're making me bleu!" complains Joseph Softing, notable cheesemaker as he takes a large bite of a Gruyere block. "Cheese is the cornerstone of our nation, and maybe there's some health risks, but removing it would be a brie-saster! We're here for a gouda time, not a long time! Let's make cheese-themed amusement parks, carnival games, restaurants, and more! This will bring a Sirene-essaince of cheese-related activities!"
EFFECT TWO: the two most prominent types of wheels are "cheese" and "ferris"

OPTION THREE: "Perhaps we simply need to balance the national diet," notes @@NAME@@-renowned chef, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Cheese is great and all, but so is cabbage, and fish, and steak! If we increase investment into producing other high-quality foods, people will grow to love the umami of mushrooms, the tang of pickles, and the fishiness of fish! Diversification is key, here, we just need to show people there's a whole world of flavor out there."
EFFECT THREE: diversity, equity, and inclusion programs are now a central part of farming

OPTION FOUR: "Has anyone else thought about weaponizing this problem?" asks a @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was recently hired as an aide to your third most prominent general. "My mother always tells me how my gas could kill a man, and I just realized that she has a point. Yes, our people are gassy, but if we ask people to bottle their vapors up and send them to us, we could both stop the spread of stench and use it as a biological weapon against our enemies! Two birds, one stone."
EFFECT FOUR: passing gas has been labelled biological warfare

---

• brie-saster - brie, a type of cheese, portmanteaued with disaster.
• Noelle Marcelline = Noella Marcellino, nun with a PhD in microbiology who studied cheese.
• cheddar - cheddar cheese (I hope you got this one on your own)
• Bleu - bleu cheeses
• Joseph Softing - Joseph Harding, father of Cheddar Cheese
• gouda - gouda
• Sirene-essaince - portmanteau of Sirene (type of cheese) and Renaissance
• Rose Ensweig - Rosensweig, one of the researchers who correlated lactose intolerance with ethnicity in the 1960s

THE ISSUE: @@NAME@@'s cuisine has, over time, trended to be more and more cheese-based. A recent national health survey has discovered that this has led to an increase in cardiovascular diseases, alongside various other chronic illnesses.
VALIDITY: Low agriculture and trout fishing, high cheese exports

OPTION ONE: "@@LEADER@@, this is a brie-saster!" moans your personal doctor, Noelle Marcelline, as she yanks a block of cheese out of your assistant's hands. "Our people are at a higher risk of death, all for a little cheddar! We need to downsize the amount of cheese intake our people consume, to ensure the continued health of our nation."
EFFECT ONE: dairy is the eighth deadly sin

OPTION TWO: "Oh, you're making me bleu!" complains Joseph Softing, notable cheesemaker as he takes a large bite of a Gruyere block. "Cheese is the cornerstone of our nation, and we ought to be celebrating it, not banning it! We'll make cheese-themed amusement parks, carnival games, restaurants, and more! This will bring a Sirene-essaince of cheese-related activities!"
EFFECT TWO: the two most prominent types of wheels are "cheese" and "ferris"

OPTION THREE: "Perhaps we simply need to diversify other meal choices," notes @@NAME@@-renowned chef, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Think about all of the ingredients that go well with cheese: berries, cherries and nuts, crackers and meats, there's a whole world out there! Increase investment into all interesting foods and we'll offset any dairy-related complications, without sacrificing our national cuisine!"
EFFECT THREE: farmers carefully consider flavor pairing during their crop rotations

THE ISSUE: A recent national health survey has discovered that @@NAME@@'s cuisine has become increasingly cheese-based, leading to an increase in cardiovascular diseases, alongside various other chronic illnesses. Health and cheese advocates have arrived in your office with their grating demands.
VALIDITY: High cheese exports, low health

OPTION ONE: "@@LEADER@@, this is a brie-saster!" moans your personal doctor, Noelle Marcelline, as she yanks a block of cheese out of your assistant's hands. "Our people are at a higher risk of death, all for a little cheddar! We need to downsize the amount of cheese intake our people consume, to ensure the continued health of our nation."
EFFECT ONE: dad jokes have been outlawed for being "too cheesy"

OPTION TWO: "Oh, you're making me bleu!" complains Joseph Softing, notable cheesemaker as he takes a large bite of a Gruyere block. "Cheese is the cornerstone of our nation, and we ought to be celebrating it, not banning it! We'll make cheese-themed amusement parks, carnival games, restaurants, and more! This will bring a Sirene-essaince of cheese-related activities!"
EFFECT TWO: the two most prominent types of wheels are "cheese" and "ferris"

OPTION THREE: "Perhaps we simply need to balance the national diet," notes @@NAME@@-renowned chef, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Cheese is great and all, but so is cabbage, and fish, and steak! If we increase investment into the production of other foods, people will begin to diversify their options, increasing the quality of our meals and reducing the related health issues!"
EFFECT THREE: diversity, equity, and inclusion programs are now a central part of farming

OPTION FOUR: "As always, people forget about the most persecuted group in society: the lactose intolerant," moans Rose Ensweig, representing the anti-lactose lobby. "Has anyone thought about how our cheesy culture affects us? I can hardly go out on the streets without getting a whiff of cheese, which soils my whole day! We must outlaw the production and sale of cheese and other dairy products in @@NAME@@ at once, lest we become more intolerant of lactose intolerance."
EFFECT FOUR: bovine unemployment has skyrocketed

THE ISSUE: A recent national health survey has discovered that @@NAME@@'s cuisine has become increasingly cheese-based, leading to an increase in cardiovascular diseases and chronic flatulence. Health and cheese advocates have arrived in your office with their grating demands.
VALIDITY: High cheese exports, low health

OPTION ONE: "@@LEADER@@, this is a brie-saster!" moans your personal doctor, Noelle Marcelline, as she yanks a block of cheese out of your assistant's hands. "Our people are at a higher risk of death, all for a little cheddar! We must ban the overconsumption of cheese, lest our population becomes known for their heartburn and methane output!"
EFFECT ONE: dad jokes have been outlawed for being "too cheesy"

OPTION TWO: "Oh, you're making me bleu!" complains Joseph Softing, notable cheesemaker as he takes a large bite of a Gruyere block. "Cheese is the cornerstone of our nation, and maybe there's some health risks, but that's no reason to ban it! We're here for a gouda time, not a long time! Let's make cheese-themed amusement parks, carnival games, restaurants, and more! This will bring a Sirene-essaince of cheese-related activities!"
EFFECT TWO: the two most prominent types of wheels are "cheese" and "ferris"

OPTION THREE: "Perhaps we simply need to balance the national diet," notes @@NAME@@-renowned chef, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Cheese is great and all, but so is cabbage, and fish, and steak! If we increase investment into the production of other foods, people will begin to diversify their options, increasing the quality of our meals and reducing the related health issues!"
EFFECT THREE: diversity, equity, and inclusion programs are now a central part of farming

OPTION FOUR: "As always, people forget about the most persecuted group in society: the lactose intolerant," moans Rose Ensweig, representing the anti-lactose lobby. "Has anyone thought about how our cheesy culture affects us? I can hardly go out on the streets without getting a whiff of cheese, which soils my whole day! We must outlaw the production and sale of cheese and other dairy products in @@NAME@@ at once, lest we become more intolerant of lactose intolerance."
EFFECT FOUR: bovine unemployment has skyrocketed

[Prisoma]

Trout fishing is a weird validity thing. But good issue!

[Bisofeyr]

Trout fishing is a weird validity thing. But good issue!

thanks

trout fishing because presumably if a nation fishes a lot, fish will supplement their diet.

[West Barack and East Obama]

Would low agriculture even work as a validity? Presumably, you'd need a pretty good system of farms to grow cows and get their milk to make cheese.

[Prisoma]

Trout fishing is a weird validity thing. But good issue!

thanks

trout fishing because presumably if a nation fishes a lot, fish will supplement their diet.

Ohhhh, that makes sense

[Prisoma]

Also yay you spelled bleu right

[Merethin]

Love this issue, very well done!

[Bisofeyr]

Would low agriculture even work as a validity? Presumably, you'd need a pretty good system of farms to grow cows and get their milk to make cheese.

Hm, I don't know? If this would only hit, say, a few dozen nations because of the difficulty of having both of those stats, it can potentially be loosened to just have high cheese exports.

I'm not a stats person but is it possible to see the amount of people that have "high" cheese exports and "low" agriculture?

EDIT: This is certainly not scientific but it does seem like this is possible: I randomly chose one of the top players* for cheese exports, Christian Anarchists, which is 14th in the world for Cheese Exports, and is top 100% (276901) for agriculture and top 100% (276,981) for trout exports.

*I looked at like 5 of the people above them before I got to them, and there is a correlation between cheese exports and agriculture it seems; but certainly not the rule, as seen here.

[Australian rePublic]

Becoming more cheese based over time? Why? ANd why is cheese based cuisine worse than things like McDonalds or KFC?

[Bisofeyr]

Becoming more cheese based over time? Why? ANd why is cheese based cuisine worse than things like McDonalds or KFC?

Presumably a nation with high cheese exports would also, naturally, consume quite a bit of cheese. I might be amenable to changing it to something like "@@NAME@@'s cuisine is incredibly cheese-based" to remove the "over time" flair.

I'm not sure if there have been comparative tests done between cheesery and fast food, so I am unaware if cheese-based cuisine is "worse", but I do not make the claim here that it does; I merely say that excessive cheese-based cuisine leads to an increase in chronic illnesses such as heart disease, which is independent of any other cuisine health risks.

[Bisofeyr]

Bump

[Australian rePublic]

Becoming more cheese based over time? Why? ANd why is cheese based cuisine worse than things like McDonalds or KFC?

Presumably a nation with high cheese exports would also, naturally, consume quite a bit of cheese. I might be amenable to changing it to something like "@@NAME@@'s cuisine is incredibly cheese-based" to remove the "over time" flair.

I'm not sure if there have been comparative tests done between cheesery and fast food, so I am unaware if cheese-based cuisine is "worse", but I do not make the claim here that it does; I merely say that excessive cheese-based cuisine leads to an increase in chronic illnesses such as heart disease, which is independent of any other cuisine health risks.

Well, then it becomes a problem of why it's an issue now and not 20 years ago?

[Bisofeyr]

Presumably a nation with high cheese exports would also, naturally, consume quite a bit of cheese. I might be amenable to changing it to something like "@@NAME@@'s cuisine is incredibly cheese-based" to remove the "over time" flair.

I'm not sure if there have been comparative tests done between cheesery and fast food, so I am unaware if cheese-based cuisine is "worse", but I do not make the claim here that it does; I merely say that excessive cheese-based cuisine leads to an increase in chronic illnesses such as heart disease, which is independent of any other cuisine health risks.

Well, then it becomes a problem of why it's an issue now and not 20 years ago?

Because of the recent national health survey, as explained by the description.

I’ll likely submit this in the upcoming days unless anyone has feedback unfixable in that timespan.

[New Socialist South Africa]

An interesting issue, I just have a few suggestions:

I'd personally suggest changing the validity to high cheese exports and low health / high obesity.
To my mind it isn't so much the lack of other foods that are being eaten, but rather that the amount of cheese that is being eaten is contributing to poor health / high obesity. That firstly will make the option valid for more nations, and secondly will avoid the (theoretical) possibility of a nation with high health AND high cheese exports being told that no, their citizens are actually unhealthy due to all the cheese, even if the stats indicate otherwise.

As a result of the above, I'd suggest:

Changing the opening line by removing the first sentence, so:

@@NAME@@'s cuisine has, over time, trended to be more and more cheese-based. A recent national health survey has discovered that high cheese-consumption in @@NAME@@ has led to an increase in cardiovascular diseases, alongside various other chronic illnesses. Can add something here about cheesemakers and dietitians bringing you their grating demands.

I'd also suggest tweaking option 3 to be more about enforcing a balanced diet, rather than about having citizens eat more of a variety, as that wouldn't necessarily help their health anyway if they just started eating a lot more red meat or sugary foods in addition to cheese as well.

On the effects, I do think they could be upped a little bit. The first thought I had on the effect for option 1 was something like:
dads are frequently admonished for being too cheesy

I quite like the effect line of option 2, but I also think the following could work:
there is no tolerance for those with lactose intolerance

I think you also could also talk about how the cheese export industry "makes a lot of cheddar, in more ways than one". You could also reference The Life of Brian line "blessed are the cheesemakers" somewhere in there.

On that note, mentioning and thinking about citizens with lactose intolerance in this issue might be an interesting matter to bring in.

Good luck

[Bisofeyr]

An interesting issue, I just have a few suggestions:

I'd personally suggest changing the validity to high cheese exports and low health / high obesity.
To my mind it isn't so much the lack of other foods that are being eaten, but rather that the amount of cheese that is being eaten is contributing to poor health / high obesity. That firstly will make the option valid for more nations, and secondly will avoid the (theoretical) possibility of a nation with high health AND high cheese exports being told that no, their citizens are actually unhealthy due to all the cheese, even if the stats indicate otherwise.

As a result of the above, I'd suggest:

Changing the opening line by removing the first sentence, so:

@@NAME@@'s cuisine has, over time, trended to be more and more cheese-based. A recent national health survey has discovered that high cheese-consumption in @@NAME@@ has led to an increase in cardiovascular diseases, alongside various other chronic illnesses. Can add something here about cheesemakers and dietitians bringing you their grating demands.

I'd also suggest tweaking option 3 to be more about enforcing a balanced diet, rather than about having citizens eat more of a variety, as that wouldn't necessarily help their health anyway if they just started eating a lot more red meat or sugary foods in addition to cheese as well.

On the effects, I do think they could be upped a little bit. The first thought I had on the effect for option 1 was something like:
dads are frequently admonished for being too cheesy

I quite like the effect line of option 2, but I also think the following could work:
there is no tolerance for those with lactose intolerance

I think you also could also talk about how the cheese export industry "makes a lot of cheddar, in more ways than one". You could also reference The Life of Brian line "blessed are the cheesemakers" somewhere in there.

On that note, mentioning and thinking about citizens with lactose intolerance in this issue might be an interesting matter to bring in.

Good luck

This is some excellent feedback, thank you. I have made appropriate edits and will leave it up for a bit longer for people to review the new draft.

[New Socialist South Africa]

I'm glad you found my input useful. Best of luck with getting your issue approved

[Mossex]

Great, as always. I always love the humor in issues. Glad to see more!

[Varanius]

Hey Biso! Interesting idea you have here. Couple of questions/notes:
- What other chronic illnesses arise from too much cheese consumption? I don't necessarily doubt that there are, I don't know, but it seems like an odd thing to just throw in there as a given. If you're just looking for things to say after cardiovascular diseases to list as problems, I would just suggest some throwaway joke about smelly farts or office spaces or what have you.
- What does option 1 actually suggest as a matter of policy? She says downsize cheese intake, but how does she intend to do that? Subsidize other foods? Penalize/restrict cheese production? Put little cameras in restaurants and watch how much cheese people buy?
- What is the difference between options 1 and 3? You have option 3, who wants to cut down cheese consumption by promoting other foods; and you have option 1, who wants to cut down cheese consumption (something which presumably involves those people eating other food). Is it just tonal?
- Option 2 feels slightly off. There's nothing wrong with having a character who loves cheese and thinks it should be loved and adored in all its forms, but are they just going to ignore the conversation about negative health consequences entirely? I feel there should be some actual response to the whole "maybe killing people" thing, whether that be a "it's not really that bad" or "we need more research" or even "who cares? live a little!" or whatever, but it should be something.

That's about all from me I think. Not many wording or format changes on first glance (shocking for me I know) and the effect lines are fine. All in all pretty solid. Assuming this hasn't been covered anyway, I don't actually know and I don't tend to check

[Bisofeyr]

Hey Biso! Interesting idea you have here. Couple of questions/notes:
- What other chronic illnesses arise from too much cheese consumption? I don't necessarily doubt that there are, I don't know, but it seems like an odd thing to just throw in there as a given. If you're just looking for things to say after cardiovascular diseases to list as problems, I would just suggest some throwaway joke about smelly farts or office spaces or what have you.
- What does option 1 actually suggest as a matter of policy? She says downsize cheese intake, but how does she intend to do that? Subsidize other foods? Penalize/restrict cheese production? Put little cameras in restaurants and watch how much cheese people buy?
- What is the difference between options 1 and 3? You have option 3, who wants to cut down cheese consumption by promoting other foods; and you have option 1, who wants to cut down cheese consumption (something which presumably involves those people eating other food). Is it just tonal?
- Option 2 feels slightly off. There's nothing wrong with having a character who loves cheese and thinks it should be loved and adored in all its forms, but are they just going to ignore the conversation about negative health consequences entirely? I feel there should be some actual response to the whole "maybe killing people" thing, whether that be a "it's not really that bad" or "we need more research" or even "who cares? live a little!" or whatever, but it should be something.

That's about all from me I think. Not many wording or format changes on first glance (shocking for me I know) and the effect lines are fine. All in all pretty solid. Assuming this hasn't been covered anyway, I don't actually know and I don't tend to check

Vara! Thank you for the commentary: it was good enough to make me have a nice, hard think about a lot of your points. All should be resolved here, and I'm once again thinking about pressing submit!

I've clarified the policy in option 1, which also should give a distinction between 1 and 3 (1 discusses restrictions around the consumption of cheese, whereas 3 discusses restrictions around the production of cheese: these are distinct enough in my [currently caffeine-fueled] brain, so I hope the editing team agrees!). The changes to 2 allowed me to add another cheese-related pun into the issue (here for a gouda time, not a long time), so it's a win on multiple fronts!

[Bisofeyr]

Another bump; I feel good about this draft and am once again thinking of submission

[Bisofeyr]

Ye Olde Final Bump

[Verdant Haven]

- The final sentence of the description doesn't help understand the issue, and could be dropped without impact. It does have amusing cheese-related wordplay, which certainly wouldn't hurt to retain, if there's a way to make the sentence relevant.

- Option 1: "higher risk of death" ^{[Than whom?]}. It might be good to clarify what overconsumption means – at least an example or two. How will it be enforced?

- Effect 1: Yes. Keep.

- Option 2: It's best to only have one speaker with any given ridiculous affectation, such as substituting the names of cheese types in place of real words. I would limit it to this industry representative, and remove the "brie-saster" from the doctor above.

- Option 3: Logical option, and a great effect line. It could use an explanation of why or how increased investment will lead to people diversifying their diet, which they presently do not do (a high cheese industry does not imply the others are not also equally high or higher).

- Option 4: This is a very very extreme option, and it's rare for us to have something that will 100% kill an entire industry, outside of automotive for banning cars. This option would take the world's top cheese producing nation and set them to absolute *0* in one click. I don't think that's probably what the goal should be – there could definitely be limitations or reductions introduced that don't represent the utter annihilation of a prominent economic sector (and which would therefore be more useful as an option.

[Bisofeyr]

- The final sentence of the description doesn't help understand the issue, and could be dropped without impact. It does have amusing cheese-related wordplay, which certainly wouldn't hurt to retain, if there's a way to make the sentence relevant.

- Option 1: "higher risk of death" ^{[Than whom?]}. It might be good to clarify what overconsumption means – at least an example or two. How will it be enforced?

- Effect 1: Yes. Keep.

- Option 2: It's best to only have one speaker with any given ridiculous affectation, such as substituting the names of cheese types in place of real words. I would limit it to this industry representative, and remove the "brie-saster" from the doctor above.

- Option 3: Logical option, and a great effect line. It could use an explanation of why or how increased investment will lead to people diversifying their diet, which they presently do not do (a high cheese industry does not imply the others are not also equally high or higher).

- Option 4: This is a very very extreme option, and it's rare for us to have something that will 100% kill an entire industry, outside of automotive for banning cars. This option would take the world's top cheese producing nation and set them to absolute *0* in one click. I don't think that's probably what the goal should be – there could definitely be limitations or reductions introduced that don't represent the utter annihilation of a prominent economic sector (and which would therefore be more useful as an option.

I've implemented these things. I like having a fourth option, but have changed it to be something different. I could get by with just 3 options but would love to find something that works here. Removing the "intolerant of lactose intolerance" hurts me a little but I can't find a great way to keep it, because you have a good point.

[Bisofeyr]

Bumpers

[Bisofeyr]

The cheese is approaching ripeness, if anyone would like to file their complaints/compliments/other before it's too late.