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[Draft] Commend Outer Sparta (2nd Iteration)

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[Draft] Commend Outer Sparta (2nd Iteration)

Postby Fachumonn » Fri May 17, 2024 7:30 pm

Commend Outer Sparta


Category: Commendation | Nominee: Outer Sparta | Proposed by: Fachumonn


The Security Council,

Acknowledging the incredible contributions Outer Sparta has made to this grandiose multiverse through their international files, sports leagues, and valuable commentary to newer delegations,

Believing that these splendid contributions are more than enough to merit a commendation, and that those who brace this multiverse with creativity and writing prowess whilst also going above and beyond in other parts of this realm deserve to be recognized for their achievements and accomplishments,

Praising Outer Sparta’s commitment to inter-regional sports through their accounts such as:

  • The Platinum League, where, through the creation and chronicling of a top footballing league to serve nations in Europe, Outer Sparta facilitated high-octane interest and participation in the sport, furthering community togetherness and positive competition in accounts of matchdays, scores, standings, and transfer rumors, among other things,
  • The Beautiful Game, where Outer Sparta details scores, records, matchdays, past league winners, football contestants and analysis in their accounts of footballing glories, which serves as an archival record of the very competitions they once spearheaded,

Observing Outer Sparta’s detailed accounts of international dossiers, in which they have compiled and composed many pressing dilemmas which include:

  • declining bee populations forcing world-leaders to get creative with solutions in an effort to aid bees and create a thriving bee population for future generations, narrated as such in “You’ve Got A Friend In Bee”,
  • scientists accidentally unleashing killer bees into their respective nations when prompted to address dwindling bee populations, which necessitates world-leaders to circumvent “The Bee-Ginning Of A Catastrophe”,
  • global decision-makers discovering distressing plane crash details, compelling the general populace to beg for safety standards, which ought to be implemented promptly to sway a divergent populace which is reacting to a “Mayday, Mayday,
  • pharmaceutical companies inflating their prices as a means to obtain more profit, in turn creating demonstrations throughout the multiverse that must be resolved in the tale “Drug Up The Prices”,

Applauding Outer Sparta’s feedback for new and old authoring nations alike, which has helped numerous newcomers land on their feet in the countless bodies that make up the multiverse, furthering others selflessly in different portals and areas of this multiverse, an example to follow for others,

Recognizing that Outer Sparta has assembled and authored countless other reports throughout their casebook on various essential problems, including but not limited to:

  • an oil-rich nation beating out competitors to hosting rights of a prized international competition, consequently threatening the very validity of the game itself, pressuring international power-holders to not scoff at “A Funny Old Game”,
  • numerous footballing clubs striking dubious financial deals with outside investors, not only worrying those in power but leaving their nation susceptible to corruption which has already occurred elsewhere, recited in the allegory “Balls To All That”,
  • fraud and falsification hitting the spotlight via a brilliant exposé that details illegal substance use in nations across the realm, in which deceitful “Suspicious Superhuman Athletes” threaten the very rectitude of the game,
  • non-professional competitors rallying to be paid for their efforts, aided by their perception of unfairness in the sports sphere through other previous dilemmas, creating an intriguing dynamic which is sure to boil over into new troubles during an “Amateur Hour”,

Recognizing Outer Sparta’s work in two other international conundrums, which are known as “Fantastic Beasts And How @@NAME@@ Harmed Them”, as well as Let’s Fix Our Matches, in which they catalog stories about mistreatment of wildlife and fixed football matches respectively, further exposing the hidden truths of sports corruption and cruel animal shows,

Acclaiming the beautifully illustrated destination that is Outer Sparta, where their many formulated anecdotes and a willingness to lend out a hand to others who try to accomplish their very feats signify their dedication the multiverse, of which they should be recognized for, so
Hereby Commends Outer Sparta.


Character Count: 4507

I intend to fully restart the draft. I think I went off in the wrong direction in the first place. Anyways, here is my new draft. I'm aware it's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Also, there seems to be a want for a whole paragraph thing on why Outer Sparta is commendable, so I guess I'll try to do that:

Outer Sparta is a 10x author of quality issues. This fact alone cannot be ignored and is alone the main reason for their commendation. In my opinion, writing 10 issues is as tough as writing twice as many WA resolutions, and we have commended people for much less. Not to mention this, 10 is a sizable number and the issues are usually thematic and high-quality.

Oh yeah, and their issues are also unique. Around 50-60% percent of their issues focus on sports corruption and football related issues, and they are a great provider of those issues. They also have a unique issue chain regarding bees which is really creative and fun. Not to mention their plane related issue, big pharma, and Sea-World inspired issues. Outer Sparta draws on the real-world to formulate their issues, like when they wrote an issue which was based on the World Cup hosting scandals.

Outer Sparta also has previously run a sports RP with nations of Europe. While it may not be the most impressive thing ever, there is a good amount of effort, time, and nuance that has gone into it.

They've also provided useful feedback/helpful criticisms, especially their facilitating work in the Got Issues forum but also the WA. I also decided to include their two other issues which have not previously been mentioned in a clause.

This is a solid case of a commendation for any player, not to mention their roles as Election Commissioner and their stats-based work, which I deemed was not commendable enough and should not be included. I am trying to expand on the issue descriptions as some of them are relatively short. Anyways I hope this was fine. As to the draft...


Sources:

The Beautiful Game: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7], [8].
Platinum/Gold League: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7], [8], [9], [10].
Other Sports Related RP: [1], [2], [3], [4].
Commissionership: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5].
Issue Dispatch Resources: [1], [2].
Feedback: [1], [2], [3], [4].
Issues Authored (Ctrl+F "Outer Sparta" to find results).
Stats/Issue Answering.
Last edited by Fachumonn on Fri May 31, 2024 12:37 pm, edited 22 times in total.
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Postby Fachumonn » Fri May 17, 2024 7:31 pm

Reserved for drafts.

The Security Council,

Acknowledging the incredible contributions Outer Sparta has made to this grandiose multiverse through their international files, sports leagues, and valuable commentary to newer delegations,

Believing that recognizing nations whose accomplishments warrant recognition is the duty of this august body, and that Outer Sparta is certainly deserving of this praise,

Observing Outer Sparta’s detailed accounts of international dossiers, in which they have compiled and composed many casefiles for worldwide decision-makers, some of which include:

  • Issue #441, “You’ve Got A Friend In Bee”, where declining bee populations have forced world-leaders to get creative with solutions that would aid bees in an effort to create a thriving bee population for future generations,
  • Issue #627, “The Bee-Ginning Of A Catastrophe”, in which, via their scientists unleashing killer bees, world-leaders have made a fatal mistake that must be stopped by any means necessary, and, without intervention, could lead to various other obstacles,
  • Issue #652, “Mayday, Mayday”, in which global decision-makers discover distressing details of a plane crash, leading the public to beg for safety standards, measures that must be implemented promptly to sway a divergent populace,
  • Issue #771, “Drug Up The Prices”, where Outer Sparta presents a tale involving pharmaceutical companies inflating their prices as a means to obtain more profit, creating demonstrations throughout the multiverse,

Praising Outer Sparta’s commitment to inter-regional sports through their accounts such as The Beautiful Game and The Platinum League, where they detail scores, records, matchdays, transfer rumors, past league winners, cup competitions, football contestants, and analysis in their accounts of footballing glories, which serves as the leading footballing league for nations of Europe,

Recognizing Outer Sparta’s work in two other international conundrums, which are known as “Fantastic Beasts And How @@NAME@@ Harmed Them”, as well as Let’s Fix Our Matches, in which they catalog stories about mistreatment of wildlife and fixed football matches respectively, further exposing the hidden truths of sports corruption and animal shows,

Applauding Outer Sparta’s feedback for new and old authoring nations alike, which has helped numerous newcomers land on their feet in the countless bodies that make up the multiverse, furthering others selflessly in different portals and areas of this multiverse, an example to follow for others,

Recognizing that Outer Sparta has assembled and authored countless other reports throughout their casebook on various topics, including but not limited to:

  • Issue #1177, “A Funny Old Game, in which an oil-rich nation beats out others to hosting rights of a prized international competition, threatening the very validity of the game itself, leading international power-holders to be decisive,
  • Issue #1372, “Balls To All That”, where Outer Sparta recites a case in which footballing clubs striking deals with outside investors worries those in power, leaving their nation susceptible to the compromising fate of corruption already experienced elsewhere,
  • Issue #493, “Suspicious Superhuman Athletes”, in which fraud and falsification hit the spotlight through a brilliant expose that details illegal substance use in nations across the realm, divulging deceitful contestants threatening the very rectitude of the game,
  • Issue #1303, “Amateur Hour”, where non-professional competitors, perceiving the unfairness in this multiverse through other previous dilemmas, petition to be paid for their efforts, creating an intriguing dynamic that is sure to boil over into new troubles,

Acclaiming the beautiful illustrated destination that is Outer Sparta, where their many formulated communiques and a willingness to lend out a hand to others who try to accomplish their very feats, and the least that can be done is to offer them some formal recognition in this august body, so

Hereby Commends Outer Sparta.
The Security Council,

Acknowledging the incredible contributions Outer Sparta has made to this grandiose multiverse through their international files, sports leagues, and valuable commentary to newer delegations,

Praising Outer Sparta’s commitment to inter-regional sports through their accounts such as The Beautiful Game and The Platinum League, where they detail scores, records, matchdays, transfer rumors, past league winners, cup competitions, football contestants, and analysis in their accounts of footballing glories, which serves as the leading footballing league for nations of Europe,

Observing Outer Sparta’s detailed accounts of international dossiers, in which they have compiled and composed many case files for worldwide decision-makers, some of which include:

  • Issue #441, “You’ve Got A Friend In Bee”, where declining bee populations have forced world-leaders to get creative with solutions that would aid bees in an effort to create a thriving bee population for future generations,
  • Issue #627, “The Bee-Ginning Of A Catastrophe”, in which, via their scientists unleashing killer bees, world-leaders have made a fatal mistake that must stop by any means necessary, and that, without intervention, could lead to various other obstacles,
  • Issue #652, “Mayday, Mayday”, in which global decision-makers discover distressing details of a plane crash, leading the public to beg for safety standards, measures that ought to be implemented promptly to sway a divergent populace,
  • Issue #771, “Drug Up The Prices”, where Outer Sparta presents a tale involving pharmaceutical companies inflating their prices as a means to obtain more profit, creating demonstrations throughout the multiverse,

Applauding Outer Sparta’s feedback for new and old authoring nations alike, which has helped numerous newcomers land on their feet in the countless bodies that make up the multiverse, furthering others selflessly in different portals and areas of this multiverse, an example to follow for others,

Recognizing that Outer Sparta has assembled and authored countless other reports throughout their casebook on various topics, including but not limited to:

  • Issue #1177, “A Funny Old Game, in which an oil-rich nation beats out others to hosting rights of a prized international competition, threatening the very validity of the game itself, leading international power-holders to be decisive,
  • Issue #1372, “Balls To All That”, where Outer Sparta recites a case in which footballing clubs striking deals with outside investors worries those in power, leaving their nation susceptible to the compromising fate of corruption already experienced elsewhere,
  • Issue #493, “Suspicious Superhuman Athletes”, in which fraud and falsification hit the spotlight through a brilliant expose that details illegal substance use in nations across the realm, divulging deceitful contestants threatening the very rectitude of the game,
  • Issue #1303, “Amateur Hour”, where non-professional competitors, perceiving the unfairness in this multiverse through other previous dilemmas, rally to be paid for their efforts, creating an intriguing dynamic that is sure to boil over into new troubles,

Recognizing Outer Sparta’s work in two other international conundrums, which are known as “Fantastic Beasts And How @@NAME@@ Harmed Them”, as well as Let’s Fix Our Matches, in which they catalog stories about mistreatment of wildlife and fixed football matches respectively, further exposing the hidden truths of sports corruption and animal shows,

Acclaiming the beautifully illustrated destination that is Outer Sparta, where their many formulated communiques and a willingness to lend out a hand to others who try to accomplish their very feats, and the least that shall happen is to offer them some formal recognition in this august body, so

Hereby Commends Outer Sparta.[/box]
Last edited by Fachumonn on Wed May 22, 2024 4:42 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Angeloid Astraea » Sat May 18, 2024 12:18 am

If you're looking to keep doing this until Cards players run out of spite, I think you'll have to keep going forever. =P
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Postby Fachumonn » Sat May 18, 2024 4:11 am

Angeloid Astraea wrote:If you're looking to keep doing this until Cards players run out of spite, I think you'll have to keep going forever. =P

Cards players being Ostro? Because other than that I couldn't find anybody else that genuinely cared about that comment.
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Postby Triseria » Sat May 18, 2024 9:10 pm

Anyone willing to make this a repeat of the last one? Asking for a friend.
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Postby The Ice States » Sat May 18, 2024 9:23 pm

The grudge over that one post by Outer Sparta is undoubtedly among the pettiest grudges I have seen on this site, on par with Gameplay and Sports.
-----
Substantively, I think the Believing clause is unnecessary; Recognizing and Applauding also seem out of order, so far this is Issues -> Sports -> Another issue -> WA -> Issues again? It may be worth reorganising this for example to Sports -> Issues -> WA or Sports -> WA -> Issues.

In case it was not clear already, I would support this as written.
Last edited by The Ice States on Sat May 18, 2024 9:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Fachumonn » Sun May 19, 2024 4:07 am

The Ice States wrote:The grudge over that one post by Outer Sparta is undoubtedly among the pettiest grudges I have seen on this site, on par with Gameplay and Sports.

Said it better than I could. :)
The Ice States wrote:Substantively, I think the Believing clause is unnecessary

I mean, you're right, but I want to work in two preambulatory clauses somehow.
The Ice States wrote: Recognizing and Applauding also seem out of order, so far this is Issues -> Sports -> Another issue -> WA -> Issues again? It may be worth reorganising this for example to Sports -> Issues -> WA or Sports -> WA -> Issues.

Btw, the thing you are referring to as "WA" is meant to tackle both WA and GI. :) Other than that this order seems fine.
The Ice States wrote:In case it was not clear already, I would support this as written.

Thank you!

Triseria wrote:Anyone willing to make this a repeat of the last one? Asking for a friend.

Talk to Ostro or something. But if you don't have anything substantial to say other than "I don't like this person because of one small comment", then just don't comment at all.

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Last edited by Fachumonn on Sun May 19, 2024 4:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Sun May 19, 2024 11:34 am

At the moment I have only one piece of advice - let this sit for a couple of months. I have seen proposals crash and burn and then a different version is submitted by the same author a short time later. That proposal has then also got shot down.

Let people forget your last submission before going again.

BTW most of the feedback I’ve managed to dig out on the last attempt had nothing to do with card farming and everything to do with the way that it was written.
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Postby Fachumonn » Sun May 19, 2024 12:42 pm

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:At the moment I have only one piece of advice - let this sit for a couple of months. I have seen proposals crash and burn and then a different version is submitted by the same author a short time later. That proposal has then also got shot down.


I do not intend to submit this soon. Maybe July? I opened this thread to get more opinions on what I currently have, since I don't see a point not to.

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:BTW most of the feedback I’ve managed to dig out on the last attempt had nothing to do with card farming and everything to do with the way that it was written.


You are right. I am not saying this is untrue. I am saying the card comments have no merit, the few that have been posted. Thanks :)
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Postby Ostrovskiy » Sun May 19, 2024 3:59 pm

Fachumonn wrote:
Angeloid Astraea wrote:If you're looking to keep doing this until Cards players run out of spite, I think you'll have to keep going forever. =P

Cards players being Ostro? Because other than that I couldn't find anybody else that genuinely cared about that comment.

I'm not the delegate of any major regions or even someone marginally important, so my feelings about the comment are irrelevant compared to the people who, yk, killed the last iteration.
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Postby Fachumonn » Wed May 22, 2024 4:09 am

New draft is up. Removed the "believing" clause, changed the format a little, changed wording a tiny bit.

I also added sources at the bottom if anyone wants to check them out.
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Postby Simone Republic » Wed May 22, 2024 8:42 am

This would work better I think if you elaborate more on Outer Sparta's work in Sports in Europe. The issues paragraphs feel like a laundry list.
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Postby Outer Sparta » Wed May 22, 2024 10:33 am

Simone Republic wrote:This would work better I think if you elaborate more on Outer Sparta's work in Sports in Europe. The issues paragraphs feel like a laundry list.

I can further elaborate later if one wishes just to clarify a few things.
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Postby Fachumonn » Wed May 22, 2024 11:15 am

Simone Republic wrote:This would work better I think if you elaborate more on Outer Sparta's work in Sports in Europe. The issues paragraphs feel like a laundry list.

I provided sources so you can check them out (below the proposal) and see for yourself. I could elaborate more if you think that deserves more of a mention than it currently has.

It's not a laundry list because there's text and a description after the issues were mentioned.

A laundry list would be like this:

Outer Sparta has wrote x issues, including:

  • Issue xxx,
  • Issues xxx,
  • Issue xxx

With no description. Thanks for the feedback however! I may need to work a little on the issue descriptions.

Feel free to telegram me if you have any more questions. Otherwise, I am working on the sports and issues sections.
Last edited by Fachumonn on Tue May 28, 2024 1:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Fachumonn » Tue May 28, 2024 2:46 pm

Bump, completely new draft up. Hopefully this reworks the issues sections whilst also expanding upon the sports parts.

Edit: Admittedly, it is a little bit listy. If there are any solutions I will look into them :)
Last edited by Fachumonn on Tue May 28, 2024 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Rosartemis » Tue May 28, 2024 5:09 pm

The Ice States wrote:The grudge over that one post by Outer Sparta is undoubtedly among the pettiest grudges I have seen on this site, on par with Gameplay and Sports.

Pettiness and Gameplay? Both are synonyms of eachother at this point.
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Postby Team Leo » Wed May 29, 2024 10:02 am

Type shit. What the sigma?

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Postby Fachumonn » Fri May 31, 2024 12:22 pm

For the record, I have added a new believing clause into the preamble and edited the acclaiming clause because it did not make grammatical sense lol. We are creeping closer and closer to that 5000 number but I can still elaborate on a few things if needed.

Edit: I also fixed the sports clauses and a few things about them were changed.
Last edited by Fachumonn on Fri May 31, 2024 12:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Fachumonn » Mon Jun 10, 2024 4:43 am

Just gonna bump this so I can get more feedback on this.
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