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The Southern Lands News

A staging-point for declarations of war and other major diplomatic events. [In character]
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Kyrek
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The Southern Lands News

Postby Kyrek » Tue Mar 05, 2024 2:27 pm

This is where nations of The Southern Lands can talk about the news that is happening within there nation and any international events within the region involving the nation that is writing the news story, it should be by a news source (make up your own) and should be realistic, it should also not be short and has to be at least a few lines long at the minimum, more is preferable…

This is the next part of the old one, a unanimous vote made way for this new fresh start :clap:

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Turam Empire
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Turam Empire Description

Postby Turam Empire » Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:52 pm

Turam Empire is a very old goverment. In their religion, Turam Empire was created by Tur himself to rule world. Royal family considered as a Tur's offsprings, giving them a status of saints. Religion in Turam Empire different from most because unlike most, Turamian Dogmates regularly suffer reformation. Also, religion didnt prevented AI creation and giving an AI status of regular citizen. Turam Empire is a technological giant with a lot of invention, nearly all for military though. Turam Empire military is a devastating power. Nearly fully replased humans with AI soldiers, army became fearless, disciplined and loyalty. Also, there is some space weapons, like ballistic rockets and nukes, with laser technology researches. People in Turam Empire is either patriots or either fanatics. Economic is dominate by arms manufacture. Most of this weapon being sold through Black market to terrorists and bandits, but other goverments buy weapons too. For a long time Turam Empire was in isolation from world, and developing itself. New Emperor known for his ambitions, it is possible that wave of colonies or conquest or crusade will be under his rule.

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Holy Karenland
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The Geneve Times

Postby Holy Karenland » Sun Mar 17, 2024 10:21 am

Greetings and salutations! It has been a long day today, so let’s see what we’ve got here

Kyrek
Holy Karenland has sent 2.2 billion Ómmeteraís to Kyrek, on the condition that it be used to develop their oil fields. Furthermore, Karenthian drilling companies have expressed hopes of privately buying some sparsely populated territory in Kyrek in order to allow for development of the area, powering Holy Karenland easily, and funding pipelines between Kyrek and Holy Karenland.

Holy Karenland
Holy Karenland has commenced large scale coal mining operations in the island of Britain, and across the northern Francum provinces. This is in order to power the area and create jobs for the people. Holy Karenland has also announced the building of large battleships, destroyers, and aircraft carriers, along with the deployment of several F-35s into the air force for national security. On top of this, due to disputes with tritonios, Holy Karenland has dispatched 200,000 armed forces to istrya, as well as 200 Leclerc tanks. On top of this, large portions of their navy will be situated in the Adriatic Sea from now on, and large parts of the air force will be stationed in the provinces of Italia.

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Turam Empire
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Turam Empire Today

Postby Turam Empire » Mon Mar 18, 2024 2:52 am

Greetings fellow citizens of Turam Empire. Long live to Emperor! Today's topics
Internal News
Wave of New construction works was created by Emperor. More factories promise to advanced economic and military forces. Beside with factories, new project of military academy "Tur's Defenders" approve and soon will open it's door for everyone who shows talants, ignoring social status and wealth, so even slave can try to become an officer, in which case owner will be compensated.
External News
As it known, Turamian Dogmates often oppresed outside from Turam Empire. And new accident in Vietnam rised anger in true believers. Group of peaceful missionaries was captured during sermon, imprisoned, tortured, and executed. Emperor couldnt stand up against such a barbarians and declared Crusade. Everyone who wish to fight for Tur can join Crusade. There wont be mobilization and Crusade is only for volunteers. It is recommended to join our righteous claim.
Let The Tur be with you.

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Kyrek
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The Kyrek Timez

Postby Kyrek » Mon Mar 18, 2024 1:40 pm

Hello there and welcome to THE KYREK TIMEZ!!!!!!

Holy Karenland:

After the formation of the CAN with Holy Karenland, Kyrek is stepping out of its isolationist state that it has been in for as long as anyone can remember. With many Kyrekians disappointed about being open to the world, they have always seen Holy Karenland as a friend and have accepted the alliance with them. We have also gotten news of Holy Karenland's donation of 2.2 billion Ómmeteraís to the development of new oil fields. Kyrek has gladly accepted the offer and has quickly gotten to work building them although, with such a small population, has been asking outside nations to send in their workers as it will give them jobs and boost their economies, the first priority has been given to any Holy Karenlandians who are in need of a job (After Kyrekians). With the exports being decided to go to only Holy Karenland as of now until more agreements have been made with foreign nations. Kyrek will also be importing natural gas from Holy Karenland to heat our homes and make things better for us.

Kyrek:

The FKF have been steadily working on the military and is now working on developing new technologies jointly with Holy Karenland.

Other Nations:

Kyrek has been announcing that all nation's trade is safe to pass through Kyrek, either through land or by sea at a cheap and affordable price, this is expected to bring in billions of Kyrs to the country and we can start getting more stuff.

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Holy Karenland
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The Geneve Times

Postby Holy Karenland » Mon Mar 18, 2024 6:14 pm

Greetings and Salutations! It’s been a while, so let’s get straight into it, shall we?

The US State Kentucky
Recently, Holy Karenland has made a trade deal with Kentucky. Kentucky will give up the Falkland and South Sandwich Islands to Holy Karenland, and in return, Holy Karenland will give Kentucky a fully functional large aircraft carrier. It is expected to arrive on their shores in 2 weeks. Holy Karenland has begun sending supplies to the Falkland and South Sandwich Islands. Hoping to build military bases, naval bases, and airfields on them.

Kyrek
Holy Karenland has begun selling natural gas, electronics, and steel to Kyrek, creating a firm trade partnership between the two states.

Holy Karenland
Holy Karenland has now allocated the national budget for the next decade. Meanwhile, the new delegates of the Íopaba were just elected in, bringing in the peoples representatives. Holy Karenland has also started to tax any and all trade through the strait of Gibraltar. This will mainly affect Tritonios

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Turam Empire
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Free Turam

Postby Turam Empire » Mon Mar 18, 2024 10:09 pm

Hello Turam Empire. As you could have spoted, we are in war. Everyone know the reason for this "Crusade". But you know what? We didnt find a thing! Not even smallest proof of such a big accusion. And even more, all our Crusades didnt had. What this can mean? Lie for power-greed royal family so they can claim that their wars are just. Also, did you ever thought how we getting oil, gas and ore. Of course we have iron, but thats all. We get most resources through pirates, terrorists and bandits, like a parasites. Our corruption is way too high and black market our most income. Dont let them blind you.

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Turam Empire
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First Turam Chanel, speech of Defender of Tur

Postby Turam Empire » Tue Mar 19, 2024 12:56 am

Greetings fellow citizens of Turam Empire! Long live to Emperor! I am proud to tell you that our devouted soldiers having big succes in Crusade! More and more people becoming true believers, more and more heretics go to Tur!Crusade will be over soon!

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Kyrek
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Troops into HK

Postby Kyrek » Mon Apr 29, 2024 1:49 pm

THE KYREK TIMEZ

Holy Karenland:

With our new alliance with HK, Kyrek has officially announced that more and more trade deals are being made with our countries, we are hoping to bring our alliance even closer and continue on with the new alliance thing. As HK-Tritonios relations are tensing though, Kyrek has decided to send over 1,000 of our troops to Holy Karenland to their state of Tirion, at a military just a few hundred feet from the Tritonian border for joint exercises. Kyrek has also sent over military equipment for our soldiers who are going to be stationed at the HK base for the next few weeks. When questioned about what Tritonios may think of this, the government responded that "It's Holy Karneland's territory and if they allow us there, and have joint exercises with them, Tritonios just has to suck it up and deal with it"

DEUS:

The Kyrekian navy, while doing some training in international waters, accidentally entered DEUS's EEZ. The Kyrekian government has issued an apology for this and hopes to improve Kyrek-DEUS relations.

Thank you for joining us today and we hope you have a great day!

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Tritonios
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Postby Tritonios » Wed May 01, 2024 9:13 am

It's been a while, but let's get back to it !!

President Andronikos' enigmatic visit to Egypt
President Andronikos was escorted to Egypt later today, surrounded by armed militants and accompanied by the Minister of Foreign Affairs. The overall group spoke to some locals, but the overall intention is still unsure, with the only hint from Callias being "Today will bring real change." An unassuring claim, but one that possibly has the capabilities to change Tritonion diplomacy for quite some time.

President Andronikos announces the nationalization of Sacarasian Steel
Tritonios has been enjoyed the export-based economics of Sacarasian Steel, but today has announced that the organization will no longer practice privatized trade with foreign nations or businesses, supposedly to protect Tritonion identity. Andronikos claimed a privatized organization of that size could risk a crippling espionage mission from Holy Karenland, placing the blame on them. For those wondering, how did Andronikos manage to do this while George Kolettis is still managing the organization? For those unaware, Andronikos attempted this once before in the early stages of his presidency, but ended in a lawsuit which George won. The result left Andronikos unable to influence the company as long as he is alive, yet not very long ago, George has tragically died from a fatal stroke, and his son took up the opportunity to take charge. Under the terms of the case, Andronikos nationalized the company with George's son being too inexperienced to fight back.

Patriotic Parade
A Tritonion parade was held today, which was funded by the Tritonion president, Callias Andronikos. The parade had a sea of Tritonion flags, deafening patriotic music, a large supply of food, and a variety of chants questioning or threatening the existence of C.A.N., a recently announced economic alliance between Kyrek and Holy Karenland. Outside journalists who visited the city of Kolassanthros expressed their concern to some of the paraders, some were yelled off and others were just ignored. This parade is a great example of Tritonion patrioticsm and what some may consider concerning Tritonion nationalism.

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Tritonios
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TRITONION OCCUPATION!

Postby Tritonios » Fri May 24, 2024 7:41 pm

President Andronikos shocked the world today as he announced the military occupation of the Zenium region (Suez region). Andronikos has stated his intentions of eventually integrating this slither of land into typical Tritonion governance as a direct Tritonion territory, similar to that of Mykinaria and it's direct ownership to the government. "Tritonios has long been overshadowed by the evermore expansionist nature of both our neighbors and foreign nations. It is my great pleasure to announce here in Zenium the start of a new course, one of greatly fulfilled destiny. A surely righteous path, and a rewarding one at that. 'NO MORE' I say! No more to international ignorance! The world is that of Theofanic origin, that of Tritonion assurance, and I am here to establish this truth in modern society! Pani ato lafo kay phisazi!" (A popular Tritonion proverb, meaning "over the hill and approaching", typically accompanied with "Theofania!", a commonly referenced name for a world-dominating Tritonios), said President Andronikos while addressing the Tritonion military stationed in Zenium. He holds hope that this will cement his place in the world stage, Andronikos has stated that the world does not take him seriously, and this action could be just his response. Furthermore, he has commonly complained about the falling influence the republic has had in trade, and with the terrain favoring a canal, this could be his attempt of regaining importance. The international ramifications of such an occupation has not yet been seen due to the recency of it, but one thing is clear; President Andronikos is determined to not just a strong Tritonios, but a widely influential Tritonios.

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Holy Karenland
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Postby Holy Karenland » Sat May 25, 2024 1:33 am

Karenthian News
Greetings and Salutations from the newly conquered territory of fez! Just last night, 80,000 Karenthian forces were dispatched to the fez region in northern Morocco, along with 70,000 sent out to the new Tunis region in Tunisia, and 20,000 moved to the Azores, mainly naval units. They invaded and subjugated these territories, and established Karenthian naval control over the straits they surround. Many Karenthian settlers now move here, due to housing prices being significantly lowered, however these new regions are still under martial law. Karenthian Parliamentiary representative of Granaden, Robert A. Hernandos, made a speech at the Military Headquarters of fez, just outside the small settlement of Ceuta, stating that “Due to Tritonian expansionism, we have been forced to perform these actions. They have seized territories out east, and plan to build a canal. Well, we say this is unacceptable! They proclaim the world shall be theirs, yet they forget the great saying “all that glitters is not gold”! We shall ensure they do not seize an inch of Karenthian territory! NOT AN INCH!!!”
Many have resonated with Mr. Hernandos’ speech, and have taken up arms, joining the military, or giving to military fundraisers.

The territories of Fez, Tunis and Azores will be military occupied for a few months, until enough Karenthian settlers move in and native people leave, and will then be accepted as fully fledged states. Until then they will remain as Unincorporated Territories, ruled directly by military councils and the government.
Last edited by Holy Karenland on Sat May 25, 2024 1:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Holy Karenland
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Karenthian News

Postby Holy Karenland » Wed May 29, 2024 12:13 am

Good morning everyone! As of late, an avalanche occurred in the state of Tirion, Killing 37 and injuring hundreds more. The Tirion State Authorities have been called to the site, and are looking for survivors buried beneath the snow. The village of Jungholz has been completely destroyed from this avalanche, and people are being evacuated to refugee camps in the west of Tirion until further notice.
Last edited by Holy Karenland on Fri May 31, 2024 1:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Kyrek
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KYREK TIMEZ

Postby Kyrek » Wed May 29, 2024 9:09 am

We've got a bunch to cover today so lets begin.

Tritonios:
The nation of Tritonios has officially announced that they are going to be colonizing parts of northern Africa completely unprovoked. The Kyrekian government has warned Tritonios that they better not start getting any world domination ideas. There hasn't really been much tension between our two nations and we are trying to keep it that way.

Holy Karenland:
As the HK military prepares to halt the Tritonoin colonization of Africa by helping the people there, Kyrek has offered to sell more oil to them to help them in their noble cause. This announcement has caused some other nations to panic a little as oil prices are on the rise. Kyrek has announced that oil production is going to go up soon as well and not for everyone to freak out. The international trade official, Ren Roden is expected to go to HK later this week.

East Versland:
Tensions have been growing at the border of Kyrek and East Versland over some minor border disputes. The recently conquered norther part of East Versland have got many Verslandians angry. Kyrek is securing out border.

Weather:
There has been another extreme drop in tempuratures in eastern Kyrek, temps in Odeka have dropped to all low as -76F. Another round of extreme blizzards are expected to crash out nation. The government is handing out small generators for the predicated nationwide power outages.

Power lines:
The government has officially announced a 33 Billion Kyr plan to build power lines across some of the emptier parts of Kyrek. The plan has been delayed because of the extreme blizzards and is not expected to start any time soon.

Iceway, Ice hey:
The Iceway, Kyrek's main internal highway has really lived up to its name recently, it has been coated in 14 inches of ice and 12 inches of snow in most parts. This is expected to effect trade within the country and oil movement for the rest of the world. Andrew Nokten and Ren Roden are both expected to visit the area to figure out a solution. Hunter Vex has already been there for some time coordinating a 12 million Kyr plan to clear out the highway.

-Thank you for joining us and remember, stay safe.

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Tritonios
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Protest at the International Community

Postby Tritonios » Thu May 30, 2024 1:46 pm

President Andronikos of Tritonios recently requested a moment to speak at a recent gathering in the International Community. Said president described the situation and allowed a speech. The speech was lengthy but heartfelt, atleast as described by many Tritonions. The story is rather different from outside sources, describing the event as evil. "Members of the International Community, it is my great pleasure and a great honor to walk within these halls, the halls that uphold the standards that we call civilized society. Therefore, it also my greatest hope that my presence here today does not go in vain. No, it is my hope that this community may do what it is designed to do, and that is bring peace to the suppressed, and give chances to the torn. That being said, it would bring me pleasure to bring light to the greatest modern example of military extremism. I say it would be my pleasure, yet the truth is this brings me no great pleasure. The rogue state that is "Holy" Karenland has exemplified the true meaning of hatred, and has shown interests in begetting war, the very rival of international commerce and prosperity. To truly understand the carelessness of the situation, attention must be brought to modern problems that have long plagued the modern Tritonion Federation that oh so many nations and people rely on. Tritonios has long seeked re-entry into the world of trade and prosperity, one that has greedily been closed behind locked doors by haughty neighbor after haughty neighbor. Despite the cruel actions, I, Callias Andronikos, do not blame them entirely. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I graciously accept such circumstances. However, circumstances like these require immediate action, and so me and my cabinet agreed upon a firm and fair stance. We would annex a tiny portion of our uncivilized and knowledgeable neighbors, and we plan to build a canal to build a fairer and more economically prosperous world. This, shall I declare, was largely accepted. It was a win-win for all neighbors alike. All nations and all peoples rejoiced at such a project, such an idea, in exception to the Karenthian parliament. Give me the freedom to remind all that our Defence Minister, Manos Kritikos, permittted only 400 infantrymen and 100 marine units to be stationed in the tiny strip of land called Zenium. We did our effort to maintain peace, yet the Karenthian parliament made no such dedication. This rogue state I bring attention to retaliated to our guided actions not because of any threats, not because of any new military presence, but simply because they wish to see Tritonios fail. And so did 170,000 soldiers, who entered Africa. (He said thousand exaggeratedly). 170 THOUSAND. Have I not mentioned that we only stationed 500? International Community, I speak to you, and I ask one simple question. Who is maintaining peace in this wretched world? My hope is that this blessed community may hold the privilege to act on maintaining such beliefs, and it would only be my honor to assist in doing so. Therefore, I officially request the international community to investigate the military state that is Holy Karenland, and even further, I hereby announce a request to president of this community. Mr. President, as figurehead of this important landscape, I only expect the best, and my impression is that you have only achieved the best. Therefore, I request a formal vote on the military presence Holy Karenland has in Northern Africa, and if their presence should be tolerated. I'm here to represent all that is Tritonion, all that interests our great nation, and it is my duty to stop this ever-threatening nation in its footsteps. Nations of north, south, east, and west, cultures of all blood, I hereby declare that this is not a Tritonion issue and this is not a Karenthian issue, this is a world issue, I come here today to save the world. International Community, uphold international peace! Uphold the values that makes us civilized! International Community, save Tritonios!" President Andronikos then fixed his tie before turning and walking back to his corner in the building. Tritonion delegates were standing, cheering, and clapping, while those in the Karenthian side were stone-faced, some booing and protesting.
Will the president of the International Community listen to Andronikos and call for a vote to withdraw Holy Karenland from Northern Africa? Will the international world actually launch an investigation into Holy Karenland? Only time will tell.

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Kyrek
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Kyrek Newz

Postby Kyrek » Thu May 30, 2024 2:17 pm

Welcome back, we have some breaking news in the nation and around the world. Lets start with the most important thing though, us.

Truck Crash:
Ever since the massive blizzard has hit out nation, the Iceway has gotten ever more dangerous. Minutes ago, we got a report that a truck carrying 30,000 Kyrs worth of aid and 10 doctors crashed somewhere on the highway. A search is underway since the location of the crash is currently unknown. Hunter Vex, the Secretary for Transportation in our nation has called out an all out search for the people and supplies. The power outages are making it very difficult though.

Outage in Odeka:
Odeka has lost power along with most of Kyrek, Kendrik Lowells has made an announcement that the goal is to get power back on as soon as the storm is over. We are not sure when it is going be blow over though making Kyrekians increasingly uncertain.

Tritonios:
Recently, the Tritonion president made an announcement to the international community about their stance on Holy Karenland. Kyrek has not gave a response yet and does not seem likely to do so.

Thank you for tuning in and again, stay safe.

Holy Karenland:
Due to the extreme weather and cold in Kyrek, the government has appealed to Holy Karenland aid and supplies to help the people in more remote parts of Kyrek. There have been food shortages and medical emergencies around the nation with doctors and food unable to reach their destinations because of the very dangerous Iceway.

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Holy Karenland
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Karenthian News

Postby Holy Karenland » Thu May 30, 2024 3:17 pm

Greetings and Salutations, news reporter Govanni Herald here, reporting from Cyirdif, in the Cymru province of Holy Karenland, and let’s get into it!

The Drought
Due to major heatwaves in the Rhein areas and the Italian peninsula, large amounts of Karenthian food supply has dried up. Thankfully, the Parliament has graciously responded by cutting out an emergency 180 million Ómmeteraís to be invested into the farms of Ireland, Anglia, and Belgica. This is done in order to make sure Holy Karenland still retains food security in these uncertain times

Kyrek
Kyrek has sent pleas for aid, due to remote areas of their country being unreachable at the moment. Unfortunately, due to intense blizzards, the sea around Kyrek is unsuitable for any ships and the skies are unsuitable for emergency helicopters, however the Karenthian government has decided to buy some delivery drones, and ship about 1 million Ómmeteraís worth of them over to Kyrek, however Holy Karenland expects as many of these to be returned as possible. They have also brought together roughly 2 million Ómmeteraís worth of food and emergency aid to be sent to Kyrek, largely being crowdfunded

Tritonios
In response to Tritonios’ speech, several members of the Karenthian Federal Parliament have responded, with the delegate of Cymru’s speech standing out most. The Delegate of Cymru made a moving speech at a theatre on the seashore of Cyirdif, the capital of the Cymru province, to be broadcasted worldwide. He said, in a calm but firm tone; “We see that Tritonios has recently seen us as… a threat. However, we must remember that Tritonios is a nation with an extremely long history of conflict. And we must also remember the fact that Tritonios is now, with this canal, making attempts to secure their control over the Mediterranean trade, possibly one of the most important trade routes in the world. We must remember that Tritonios killed the living incarnate of God himself just to preserve their autocratic power! He was nailed to a cross! And now we see their first attempt of expansion into the holy land… It is truly disgraceful how they would do this, and then proclaim their Emperor had a chat with god himself! I truly fear the day that we will see these monsters seize this land which we hold so dear… I believe that our large amounts of force are absolutely necessary to prevent the expansionist and malicious tendencies of this wretched state. They stole and murdered innocent Paulist Christians out in Illyria! They are just as, nay, more savage than he who kills a man and claims “It is with god’s intent”. People like Andronikos disgrace the name of God, and I call for all Paulists, all Karenthians, and all of those who have been oppressed by this menace to rise up! They may claim they want a more prosperous world, but by building this canal, they attempt to play god! When Eve was in the Garden of Eden and the Snake convinced her to eat the forbidden fruit and she would be “like God”, all Humankind was punished! International community, citizens of the world! If you had even the slightest bit of clue as to what Tritonios has done, you would agree with me! Hold fast to the values which make us right in the eyes of God, and God save Holy Karenland!!”
Most Karenthians were clapping, with some even parading through the streets and making street performances mocking Andronikos in satire plays and skits, while Tritonians were shocked, even appalled, at how our Delegate spoke of their “oh so holy” leader, but some realised the religious and cultural oppression of the Tritonians and murmurs began.

And that is all for today folks! Stay tuned to find out what happens next!

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Kyrek
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Kyrek Newz

Postby Kyrek » Fri May 31, 2024 11:49 am

Welcome Back To Another Edition of Kyrek Newz, Here are the top stories:

Weather:
The massive blizzard which has been engulfing most of Kyrek may soon be ending. The snow has shown at least some signs of stopping but there are still shortages of almost everything you can imagine. Stay tuned for more.

Holy Karenland Puts the K(c)are in Karenland:
After the government went to Holy Karenland for help with the food and medical supplies. Holy Karenland sent over 2 million Ómmeteraís in food and supplies to the remote people of Kyrek along with the drones required to do so. The Kyrekian government and people have greatly expressed our thanks to Holy Karenland and sees this a great sign of our nations' friendships and cooperation in the future. In a rare statement from Kyrek's king, who is famous around the world for his mystery, he sent a written message to the leader of Holy Karenland thanking him and promising to sell more oil to Holy Karenland to boost both our economies. The food and supplies started getting delivered under the command of Kendrik Lowells. Many of the drones reached their destination with only minor damage because of the strong winds. Jason Rode announced that extra care was being taken when flying the drones to return as many of them in perfect shape as possible. We have gotten reports though of a few drones which have crashed as a result of hail, snow or very strong gusts of wind. The government has aplogiesed for those ones and says it is doing whatever it can to keep them all safe.

Kyrekian Temporary Withdrawl:
Kyrek has officially temporarily withdrew all soldiers from Holy Karenland that were doing joint CAN training with the HK soldiers. They are coming back for rescue operations in Kyrek and to help get food and supplies to as much of Kyrek as possible. We got an exclusive interview with Jack Timber:

Interviewer: We've heard about the Withdrawl of Kyrekian troops from their joint exercises with Holy Karenland. Do you think there may be any consequences, like Tritonios making aggressive moves toward Holy Karenland or even at us?

Timber: No, there ain't gunna be, the Kyrekian soldiers there were not stopping any war from happening, they were just there to train. Holy Karenland and Tritonios are not at war and are not going to be any time soon. And we ain't gunna be invaded by Tritonios, we have a capable military and a great ally, and we don't have tensions with Tritonios.

Interviewer: How sure are you that this won't have any consequences, Holy Karenland and Tritonios don't have the best track record of peace with one another.

Timber: We ain't getting involved in no other country's buisness, what Holy Karenland and Tritonios do is what they do, we don't intervene unless Holy Karenland needs us to.

Interviewer: Thank you.

Karenthian Speech:
In response to the speech made by President Andronikos of Tritonios, Holy Karenland's Federal Parliment have made some counter speeches. Jason Rode has praised the speech saying that it shows that Holy Karenland and the CAN aren't a weak thing ready to be pushed around by Tritonios. This comes as growing tensions from Tritonios and Holy Karenland spark debates from both sides. What will come next? We have asked for an interview with Cymru, the one who gave the most passionate speech, we are yet to hear back.

Thanks For Tuning in! And Join Us Next time through our possible interview with Cymru and the plot to assassinate Vector Jacob!

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Holy Karenland
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Karenthian News

Postby Holy Karenland » Fri May 31, 2024 1:08 pm

Greetings and Salutations folks! Reporting from Laighean, Holy Karenland, more specifically the Iarmhí county of Laighean, in a large cow farm. Here we will ask the workers about the effects of the government’s funding:

Reporter: “Hello good sir, how do you feel about the new funding from the Central Government?”
Farmer: “Erm, an labhraíonn tú Gaeilge?”
Reporter: “Good thing I know my fair share of Irish, since I took it up in 2nd Year. Dia duit a dhuine uasail, conas a bhraitheann tú faoin maoiniú nua ón Rialtas Láir?”
Farmer: “Ó, bhuel sílim go bhfuil maoiniú an rialtais ag cabhrú go mór lenár n-oibrithe talmhaíochta amuigh anseo in Éirinn, agus gurbh é an teas an rud ab fhearr a tharla dúinn Éireannaigh”
Reporter: “He says that he thinks the government funding should be kept up, since it really helps his fellow agrarian workers in Ireland. And what do you think of the current situation in Tritonios? Oh, agus cad a cheapann tú faoin staid reatha i dTrítoenios?”
Farmer: “Bhuel sílim gur féidir leis na ffycaithe Gréagacha féin-chearta sin dul chun an cuaille deich troigh a thógáil ní dhéanfainn teagmháil leo agus mynd rhoi eu pidyn yn eu asyn eu hunain!”
Reporter: “Whoa, not very family-friendly there! But essentially, he thinks that the Tritonians are very self-righteous and act as if they are “holier than thou”, and that they should learn their place.”

Anyways, onto other headlines:
Kyrek
Kyrek has issued a note of thanks to the Karenthian Government, expressing gratitude to the Karenthian shipments of food despite facing food issues. Kyrek sees this as a great sign of their alliance moving forward. Holy Karenland sees it as a good gesture to supply food to their neighbour in times of need, mainly due to faithful reasons.

North Africa
Holy Karenland has, after a long period of time, recommenced activities in North Africa, dividing up their forces in Tunis and Fez, and establishing several Karenthian port settlements across Morocco and Algeria, with intent to fully recolonise these regions, while some small territories with lasting Karenthian cultures from pre-Indo-European times, mainly remaining in southern Tunisia and Tripolitania and maintaining contact through trade hubs such as Sfaxis and Tripolis, and with some having moved into the deserts, willingly joining Karenthian forces to conquer their homelands for Holy Karenland, however some would have a difficult time assimilating, as even through the contact, this much time apart put both cultures through change.

Tritonios
Recently, Kyrek has taken the Karenthian side against Tritonios, however has maintained a relatively neutral position. Holy Karenland has now asked the Karenthians and Paulists of Tritonios to “Pick a Side”, and to support the Fatherland no matter the cost, and that God shall grant them a place in heaven if they fight this corrupt state. Holy Karenland has barred all Public Tritonians naval vessels and planes from going into Karenthian Waters and Airspace, and several delegates of the Karenthian Federal Parliament have proposed the idea of colonizing the Holy land, however many have rejected this, as it would be overly ambitious and would cause war, which would negate the goal of trying to restore the peace and kindness of God to the world.

Thank you all for tuning in, and stay tuned to find out what happens next.

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Interview with Cymru

Postby Kyrek » Mon Jun 03, 2024 1:35 pm

Hello there and welcome back, we have a shorter report for today yet very important for the world. As you may have heard, Cymru, a guy from Holy Karenland made a very impactful speech, we are now joined live for an exclusive interview with Cymru right here so remember to tune in.

Interviewer: Hi, and welcome to the Kyrek Newz, for our first question, how do you feel about the Tritonion rapid expansion into Africa?

Cymru: Well, I think that anyone who says that this tritonian stage of expansion is concerning is understating the problem! Honestly, when I saw a soldier broadcasting the thing on live tv, I **** enough bricks to build a five-star hotel! They are threatening the Holy Land, and the sanctity of our entire goddamn religion!

Interviewer: In Kyrek, we don’t follow the same region as you or have the same beliefs, can you explain some of the religious drama that seems to be rampant on both sides?

Cymru: Well, you see, in Christianity, we believe that Jesus Christ bled and died on a cross for our sins, and there are denominations. Denominations are basically sects of a religion which disagree with the specifics of a religion, and there are 2 major denominations in Christianity, Paulist Christianity, and Theofanic Christianity. I swear to god, if I hear another goddamn Tritonians start yapping to me about how their crusty old turd crumpet of a leader “met god”, and it’s not only making me depressed, but it’s making my bones decay of old age!! Because my faith in the Tritonian people, has left the building! It is absolute bull****! I’d argue that it’s a completely seperate religion and is heresy!

Interviewer: If there is something you would like to tell Kyrekians about this “conflict” with Tritonios, what would you say?

Cymru: I’d like to tell you Kyrekians over there, that while you may not give a donkey Kong crap about how things are going halfway across the world, those Tritonians expanded from one tiny island, up to an entire ****Ing empire! So they can expand from that to a world conqueror pretty goddamn easily! Be prepared! Be cautious! Be terrified!

Interviewer: Do you have anything else to say about this topic?

Cymru: And something else I have to say to those ****bags in Turam, I will personally ****Ing make my way over to the Borneo forests with a torch and avoid all the trees just to torch your ****Ing government building and nothing else! I will turn the island of Java into cream cheese! I’ve been in wars before, I’ve fought in the trenches, and I can say I am not scared of some weak kneed dumb Tritonian tiny **** dictator or some idiot in the East Indies!

Interviewer: Do you feel that Holy Karenland is doing enough to defend you region or do you feel they should do more about it?

Cymru: I feel like Holy Karenland should do more to stop these Tritonian menaces from expanding! They think they’re all that, and claim our land, and try hurting our people, but our parliament says that the war would “cost too much”! I can smell the bull****, and it ****Ing stinks!!! We need to launch a full scale invasion of Tritonios, as soon as a single ****Ing division of our army is available! We will bring freedom and democracy to these backwards mud-eating pigs!

Interviewer: Are you and your country prepared to go to war over this issue?

Cymru: I think, as stated in the last segment, yes we are completely goddamn ready to go to war, it’s just some of the weaklings in our damn parliament won’t let it happen! Good thing the Karenthian Government Elections come up on the 5th of June in most states, so we might finally get some good ****ing candidates!

Interviewer: Very informative, thanks for coming on.
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After hearing that, the Kyrekian government has officially endorsed Cymru in any Holy Karenland election saying that he is fighting for the people of Holy Karenland and that he should be a honored in Holy Karenland. Cymru has also been offered a visit to Odeka to meet with Kyrekian officials to congratulate him on the success of his speech.
Join us next time as we dig deeper onto the assassination plot of the head tax collector and a report of Cymru's possible visit to Kyrek.

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Holy Karenland
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Karenthian News

Postby Holy Karenland » Tue Jun 04, 2024 3:16 pm

Greetings and Salutations! Let’s get straight into most recent events!

North Africa
Karenthian forces have mived out from landing sites, and have successfully secured much of the coast of the Algiers region, as well as large parts of Tripolitania, and most of morocco, reaching up to the Atlas Mountains in parts. Karenthian forces have also been dispatched to the canaries, seizing the lacklustre islands, and selling large parts to private entrepreneurs wishing to make it a valuable tourist destination. Currently, 300,000 Karenthian forces sit in North Africa, and Holy Karenland has promised large rewards to any tribes who join them without bloodshed. As well as this, Holy Karenland has officially issued the first plan for adding these states to the Union, however this may be subject to changes.

Kyrek
As weather conditions continue, Holy Karenland has ran out of federal budget to provide Kyrek with aid, however, an organisation titled the Christian Emergency Aid Organization of Holy Karenland (CHEAOHK), has gathered 25,000,000ó in humanitarian emergency aid, and assembled 35,000 people together to voyage to a small port in Northeastern Greenland, where they plan to start operations to spread this food across Kyrek via delivery. The plan is for them to stay until the aftereffects of the weather conditions cease, and then return back home. These brave heroes will leave in 2 days, and the Delegate of Toledo has publicly stated in an interview that these “are some very brave men, yes very truly, almost asp brave as our boys in blue fighting in the Algiers”.

Well folks, that’s all for today, tune in next time!
Well folks, that’s

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Aid Comes In!

Postby Kyrek » Wed Jun 05, 2024 1:53 pm

Hello and welcome to another report from the KYREK NEWZ, here are the top stories:

Holy Karenland:
Holy Karenland has officially sent 25,000,000ó in humanitarian emergency aid, and assembled 35,000 people to help stranded and starving Kyrekians. Thousands of Kyrekians are still accounted for and the government is happily welcoming in the money and the aid workers. The workers were given a warm welcome into Kyrek and the search is on, the military is sending half of the army on search and rescue missions with help from the Holy Karenland workers and money. The Iceway may soon be cleared which will make the searches easier. Hunter Vext made an announcement minutes ago that the goal is to have the Iceway as cleared as possible within the next couple of weeks to make the searches easier and less money and time consuming. Approximately 7,000,000ó has been set away for this task which includes the trucks needed to transport the rescue workers and the people rescued. Again, Kyrek thanks Holy Karenland for their help in the effort.

Possible Organization in Kyrek?
The possible International Community which has been proposed by multiple nations is looking for a location to place its headquarters. After much debate, the Kyrekian government has said that if approved by the other nations, the HQ could go in Kyrek although Kyrek would not be paying for it or its maintenance or protection. A motive for this has not yet been released to the public.

Kyrekian Nomads Thank The Government and Holy Karenland:
We got an interview with a nomad who was rescued by rescue forces just hours ago, this is what he had to say about it:

Interviewer: What do you have to say about being rescued?

Nomad: It was AWESOME!!!!!! LONG LIVE DREK JAYRON!!!!!!!

Interviewer: Would you like to say anything about Holy Karenland?

Nomad: Who's that?

Interviewer: They... umm... helped pay for your rescue...

Nomad: Ohhh... well... thanks Holy Karenland! Ya can come over to my tent for lunch after the storm is done!

Interviewer: ITS A COUNTRY! NOT A PERSON!!!!!

Nomad: Same thing.

Thanks for tuning in and remember to join us next time!

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Holy Karenland
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Karenthian News

Postby Holy Karenland » Thu Jun 06, 2024 1:29 pm

Greetings and Salutations! We have a bit to get through today, but firstly we upgraded the recording studio! Anyways;

Kyrek
Our brave volunteers have arrived in Kyrek, in the small villages of Uunarteq, Ittoqqortoormiit, Itterajivit, Vandreblok, and Ivssorigseq, and have established makeshift camps there, giving emergency aid to locals, and setting up the Committee for Humanitarian Aid in Kyrek (CHAK) to back this. They have begun truck deliveries across Greenland to supply people with this aid. Another 20,000 recently assembled in Scotland, fundraising 10,000,000ó of humanitarian aid, and flew over to Diamond beach on the Southeast coast of Iceland via Tórshavn. They have set up a headquarters and shelter for themselves at Diamond beach, and have begun sending humanitarian aid to those across Iceland who need it.

Africa
Recently, the general of the 3rd Cyrenacian division was recruiting natives in Libya to join Holy Karenthian forces, promising them lofty pensions, healthcare, and food, and he sent a request to the Karenthian Federal Parliament asking if he could continue south towards the Agadez region. Surprisingly enough, it was late I the evening at the time, and only 5 delegates were there; Alsace, Cataloin, Venizie, Tyrenn, and Uladh. These regions are well-known for being more radical than most, with the exception of Tyrenn, however some believe he had a bit too much booze that night, and so the decision was allowed with a 5-0 unanimous vote in favour. Now, the General has commanded many POW’s to build roads into the newly conquered land, and is nearing the Agadez region, however when this was mentioned in Parliament the next morning, nobody seemed to care, with a few delegates even being happy due to several states in the Sahara, in areas that were never planned to be annexed, sending volunteers and resources to Holy Karenland to avoid colonization. In other matters here, a steady supply line has finally been established between the Canaries, Morocco and Iberia, as forces now move up the Atlas Mountains in Morocco and Algiers. Generals believe this military operation will be done in a week or two, however stabilising these lands may take months.

The Election
The new state map, favoured by most delegates in the Karenthian Federal Parliament, was officially passed today, as political scholars from across the country have declared that the map wouldn’t cause any electoral mismanagement or gerrymandering, however they have noted that some people may not be happy with this change, however likely not within Holy Karenland.

Anyways, that’s all for now, make sure to tune in next time!

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Holy Karenland
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Karenthian News

Postby Holy Karenland » Sat Jun 08, 2024 2:05 pm

Greetings and Salutations, folks! We have a bit to go through today, so let’s get to it!

Africa
The territories in North Africa which Holy Karenland has designated to be annexed by them have been annexed, and are officially now part of the Republic. Here is the new State map of Holy Karenland:
Image
We will now show you a speech which the new Delegate of Cyrene has spoken
“This is truly a glorious day for Holy Karenland and the peoples of North Africa as a whole! For so long, we have been separated from the Motherland, and we have forgot our true Karenthian values! They brought order and peace to this fragile land, and I truly believe that this will become a great place, as Holy Karenland intensifies control over the Mediterranean, we are seeing waves of Tourism, and we truly believe that both us and the mainland will grow and prosper, and grow to destroy the Tritonian Menace!”

Kyrek
Christian expeditionaries in Kyrek have seen the horrible weather conditions, and many have decided to stay in Kyrek, establishing new lives and selling their homes remotely to live in this land, believing that “it is the only way to fix things around here and help these folks find god” - Jimothy Crapper

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Holy Karenland
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Karenthian News

Postby Holy Karenland » Thu Jun 13, 2024 3:05 pm

Greetings and Salutations everyone, the world has had a bit of a slow spot recently, but Holy Karenland has been making moves still! Let’s see what’s happening;

The Atlantic
Holy Karenland, in an attempt to secure fishing rights across the Atlantic, has sent 2,000 men to the island of bermuda in the middle of the Atlantic, proclaiming it for Holy Karenland, and annexing it into the Vooreis Territory, with many fishing companies setting up base there, and stripping fish across the Atlantic, and trading them across the nation. This has helped solve the Karenthian food Crisis, and so funds to the farmers in the North will be diminishing soon.

Tritonios
Holy Karenland has recently ramped up naval efforts in the mediterannean, sending patrol ships into their territorial waters, and escorting Tritonian ships back to Tritonios, and setting up refugee ships for those wishing to come to Holy Karenland.


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