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[DRAFT] MasterChef @@NAME@@

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Netsaneti Reborn
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[DRAFT] MasterChef @@NAME@@

Postby Netsaneti Reborn » Sat Dec 02, 2023 2:37 am

Greetings all. Please let me know what you think and what I can edit and fix.

Current Draft: Draft 2

MasterChef @@NAME@@

Validity: Has not banned meat-eating and embraced compulsory vegetarianism / veganism.

It is the finals of this year’s MasterChef @@NAME@@, and you have been invited on as a guest judge in what has been an incredibly close race for the prize money and the accolade of being the best amateur chef in @@NAME@@.

Option 1: "What I have made for you is a meal fit for refined royalty” boasts @@RANDOMNAME@@, an entrepreneur from a wealthy suburb of @@CAPITAL@@, extending @@HER@@ immaculately presented decadent dishes before you. "I’ve prepared a perfectly chargrilled medium rare wagyu steak, which will just melt in your mouth, topped with a carefully reduced @@ANIMAL@@ jus that will help bring out the flavour. Then for dessert, a tower of croquembouche, encased in a cage of fine-spun sugar. Only the best and most complicated of dishes should satisfy the refined palate of @@NAME@@, don’t you agree?"

(Effect: the rich feast like royalty on dishes that most citizens can neither pronounce nor afford)

Option 2: "Food doesn’t need to be complicated, it just needs to be good" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an unemployed student from the slums of @@ANIMAL@@ City, laying out @@HER@@ generously portioned dishes. "I’ve made you a pizza with handmade dough topped with five different cheeses, as well as slices of pepperoni I prepared myself. The crust has been stuffed with cheese and pepperoni as well to make sure every mouthful is packed full of flavour! Then for dessert, a chocolate-caramel cake where the runny caramel will pour out the moment you cut it open. Enjoy!"

(Effect: @@NAME@@’s dishes they have been declared Weapons of Coronary Destruction)

Option 3: "So much meat, so much cheese, when will we learn to respect our blessed Mother Nature?" appeals @@RANDOMNAME@@, an animal-shelter volunteer from the untamed interior, while laying @@HER@@ carefully prepared vegan dishes before you. "What we have here is a twenty-seven-vegetable curry, where the flavour of each vegetable is brought out more by the spices and by one another. Then for dessert, vegan date cake using freshly made beetroot syrup as a binding agent. With dishes this healthy, this tasty, and that don’t require the harming of animals, is there any reason for @@NAME@@ not to go vegan?"

(Effect: slaughterhouses and fast-food restaurants lie abandoned as veganism sweeps @@NAME@@)

Option 4A: "How about some pan-seared liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti?" drawls psychiatrist Doctor Lannibal Hector, getting just a bit too close for comfort. "It was the favourite dish of our dear beloved judge @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who disappeared mysteriously last week after he gave me a low score. I do wish we could chat longer but, I’m having an old friend for dinner.”

(Effect: @@NAME@@’s dishes are simply to die for)
[Option validity: Alcohol must be legal]

Option 4B: "How about some pan-seared liver with some fava beans?" drawls psychiatrist Doctor Lannibal Hector, getting just a bit too close for comfort. "It was the favourite dish of our dear beloved judge @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who disappeared mysteriously last week after he gave me a low score. I do wish we could chat longer but, I’m having an old friend for dinner.”

(Effect: @@NAME@@’s dishes are simply to die for)
[Option validity: Alcohol must be illegal]

Option 5: "Forsake these gluttonous ways!" preaches @@RANDOMNAME@@, a stick thin devotee of the Tranquillity of Yellow, as @@SHE@@ clambers in through a window to protest against the contest. "Ban all cooking shows as the decadent displays of excess that they are, and insist that all citizens eat only humble, simple dishes, like a single small bowl of rice a day.” @@SHE@@ dodges security with surprising grace and escapes back out the window.

(Effect: citizens grumble as their stomachs rumble)


MasterChef @@NAME@@

Validity: Has not banned meat-eating and embraced compulsory vegetarianism / veganism.

It is the finals of this year’s MasterChef @@NAME@@, and you have been invited on as a guest judge in what has been an incredibly close race for the prize money and the accolade of being the best amateur chef in @@NAME@@.

Option 1: "What I have made for you is a meal fit for refined royalty” boasts @@RANDOMNAME@@, an entrepreneur from a wealthy suburb of @@CAPITAL@@, extending @@HER@@ immaculately presented decadent dishes before you. "I’ve prepared a perfectly chargrilled medium rare wagyu steak, which will just melt in your mouth, topped with a carefully reduced @@ANIMAL@@ jus that will help bring out the flavour. Then for dessert, a tower of croquembouche, encased in a cage of fine-spun sugar. Only the best and most complicated of dishes should satisfy the refined palate of @@NAME@@, don’t you agree?"

(Effect: the rich feast like royalty on dishes that most citizens can neither pronounce nor afford)

Option 2: "Food doesn’t need to be complicated, it just needs to be good " says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an unemployed student from the slums of @@ANIMAL@@ City, laying out @@HER@@ generously portioned dishes. "I’ve made you a pizza with handmade dough topped with five different cheeses, as well as slices of pepperoni I prepared myself. The crust has been stuffed with cheese and pepperoni as well to make sure every mouthful is packed full of flavour! Then for dessert, a chocolate-caramel cake where the runny caramel will pour out the moment you cut it open. Enjoy!"

(Effect: @@NAME@@’s dishes they have been declared Weapons of Coronary Destruction)

Option 3: "So much meat, so much cheese, when will we learn to respect our blessed Mother Nature?" appeals @@RANDOMNAME@@, an animal-shelter volunteer from the untamed interior, while laying @@HER@@ carefully prepared vegan dishes before you. "What we have here is a twenty-seven-vegetable curry, where the flavour of each vegetable is brought out more by the spices and by one another. Then for dessert, vegan date-cake using freshly made beetroot syrup as a binding agent. With dishes this healthy, this tasty, and that don’t require the harming of animals, is there any reason for @@NAME@@ not to go vegan?"

(Effect: slaughterhouses and fast-food restaurants lie abandoned as veganism sweeps @@NAME@@)

Option 4: "How about some pan-seared liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti?" drawls psychiatrist Lannibal Hector, getting just a bit too close for comfort. "It was the favourite dish of our dear beloved judge @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who disappeared mysteriously last week after he gave me a low score. I do wish we could chat longer but, I’m having an old friend for dinner.”

(Effect: @@NAME@@’s dishes are simply to die for)
[Option validity: Alcohol must be legal]

Option 5: "Forsake these gluttonous ways!" preaches @@RANDOMNAME@@, a stick thin devotee of the Tranquillity of Yellow, as @@SHE@@ clambers in through a window to protest against the contest. "Ban all cooking shows as the decadent displays of excess that they are, and insist that all citizens eat only humble, simple dishes, like a single small bowl of rice a day”. @@SHE@@ dodges security with surprising grace and escapes back out the window.

(Effect: citizens grumble as their stomachs rumble)
Last edited by Netsaneti Reborn on Sun Dec 03, 2023 4:21 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Dec 02, 2023 5:03 am

What makes you assume that leader isn't a vegan?
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Netsaneti Reborn
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Postby Netsaneti Reborn » Sat Dec 02, 2023 5:20 am

Australian rePublic wrote:What makes you assume that leader isn't a vegan?


Hmm, that is a fair point. I'll have to think about that.

I could try restructure the issue to be about Leader choosing a personal chef? That could allow for a situation where it is more like they are choosing a chef and a sort of food to go with, rather than having to taste all the options. That would then allow for the options to remain as lavish, fatty, vegan, cannibalism, maybe with the humble option as rejecting the idea of a personal chef and having the nation fast. I could add an option where the military prepares all the meals, and ensures they are all about making Leader as strong and impressive looking as possible. The issue title could change to something like "@@LEADER@@'s next top chef" or something like that.

Arguably it could be the case that a vegan leader could just decide to taste the other dishes, or that they just choose the vegan dish due to their personal biases, but both those cases are a bit of a stretch. I take your point and I'll give it some more thought.
Last edited by Netsaneti Reborn on Sat Dec 02, 2023 5:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Outer Sparta
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Postby Outer Sparta » Sat Dec 02, 2023 1:02 pm

What would be the significance of this event? I would also stress the importance of food quality, emphasizing how your nation is world-renowned when it comes to food.
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Zhensheng Xue
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Postby Zhensheng Xue » Sat Dec 02, 2023 4:39 pm

Netsaneti Reborn wrote:Greetings all. Please let me know what you think and what I can edit and fix.

MasterChef @@NAME@@

Validity: Has not banned meat-eating and embraced compulsory vegetarianism / veganism.

It is the finals of this year’s MasterChef @@NAME@@, and you have been invited on as a guest judge in what has been an incredibly close race for the prize money and the accolade of being the best amateur chef in @@NAME@@.

Option 1: "What I have made for you is a meal fit for refined royalty” boasts @@RANDOMNAME@@, an entrepreneur from a wealthy suburb of @@CAPITAL@@, extending @@HER@@ immaculately presented decadent dishes before you. "I’ve prepared a perfectly chargrilled medium rare wagyu steak, which will just melt in your mouth, topped with a carefully reduced @@ANIMAL@@ jus that will help bring out the flavour. Then for dessert, a tower of croquembouche, encased in a cage of fine-spun sugar. Only the best and most complicated of dishes should satisfy the refined palate of @@NAME@@, don’t you agree?"

(Effect: the rich feast like royalty on dishes that most citizens can neither pronounce nor afford)

Option 2: "Food doesn’t need to be complicated, it just needs to be good " says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an unemployed student from the slums of @@ANIMAL@@ City, laying out @@HER@@ generously portioned dishes. "I’ve made you a pizza with handmade dough topped with five different cheeses, as well as slices of pepperoni I prepared myself. The crust has been stuffed with cheese and pepperoni as well to make sure every mouthful is packed full of flavour! Then for dessert, a chocolate-caramel cake where the runny caramel will pour out the moment you cut it open. Enjoy!"

(Effect: @@NAME@@’s dishes they have been declared Weapons of Coronary Destruction)

Option 3: "So much meat, so much cheese, when will we learn to respect our blessed Mother Nature?" appeals @@RANDOMNAME@@, an animal-shelter volunteer from the untamed interior, while laying @@HER@@ carefully prepared vegan dishes before you. "What we have here is a twenty-seven-vegetable curry, where the flavour of each vegetable is brought out more by the spices and by one another. Then for dessert, vegan date-cake using freshly made beetroot syrup as a binding agent. With dishes this healthy, this tasty, and that don’t require the harming of animals, is there any reason for @@NAME@@ not to go vegan?"

(Effect: slaughterhouses and fast-food restaurants lie abandoned as veganism sweeps @@NAME@@)

Option 4: "How about some pan-seared liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti?" drawls psychiatrist Lannibal Hector, getting just a bit too close for comfort. "It was the favourite dish of our dear beloved judge @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who disappeared mysteriously last week after he gave me a low score. I do wish we could chat longer but, I’m having an old friend for dinner.”

(Effect: @@NAME@@’s dishes are simply to die for)
[Option validity: Alcohol must be legal]

Option 5: "Forsake these gluttonous ways!" preaches @@RANDOMNAME@@, a stick thin devotee of the Tranquillity of Yellow, as @@SHE@@ clambers in through a window to protest against the contest. "Ban all cooking shows as the decadent displays of excess that they are, and insist that all citizens eat only humble, simple dishes, like a single small bowl of rice a day”. @@SHE@@ dodges security with surprising grace and escapes back out the window.

(Effect: citizens grumble as their stomachs rumble)


I feel that cuisine is an under-explored premise, but I have some things to ask:

What would all of these options change in effect with each other? Especially Option 1, 2, and 4?
For option 1 and 2, I assume that food quality and culture would increase equally, with no major differences. And with option 4, while he is suggesting that the entire nation take on cannibalism, and, the fact that event managers somehow allowed someone to bring human meat to the leader, doesn’t make make much sense to me.

And, for Option 4, there needs to be an important distinction with the validity, why would alcohol need to be legal? If it is in the application of food, then alcohol only has to be non-abolished, as normally, alcohol is only illegal up to a certain age.

Grammar:

Option 1: 1st sentence, you need to add a comma in between royalty and the “.
Option 2: Same thing, but this time delete a space in between the parenthesis as well.
Option 3: I do not think that there is a hyphen in-between date and cake.
Option 5: Swap the full-stop with the parenthesis.

This has real potential!
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Netsaneti Reborn
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Postby Netsaneti Reborn » Sun Dec 03, 2023 4:15 am

Zhensheng Xue wrote:I feel that cuisine is an under-explored premise, but I have some things to ask:

What would all of these options change in effect with each other? Especially Option 1, 2, and 4?
For option 1 and 2, I assume that food quality and culture would increase equally, with no major differences. And with option 4, while he is suggesting that the entire nation take on cannibalism, and, the fact that event managers somehow allowed someone to bring human meat to the leader, doesn’t make make much sense to me.

And, for Option 4, there needs to be an important distinction with the validity, why would alcohol need to be legal? If it is in the application of food, then alcohol only has to be non-abolished, as normally, alcohol is only illegal up to a certain age.

Grammar:

Option 1: 1st sentence, you need to add a comma in between royalty and the “.
Option 2: Same thing, but this time delete a space in between the parenthesis as well.
Option 3: I do not think that there is a hyphen in-between date and cake.
Option 5: Swap the full-stop with the parenthesis.

This has real potential!


Thanks for the comments, corrections, interest and praise.

For option 1 I was thinking a boost to culture, food quality, and maybe also income inequality, with Leader and the nation seen to favour expensive elitist foods.

Option 2 is a more standard boost to pizza delivery, and also obesity due to how much fat, salt and sugar is being used, although obesity should probably go up for option 1 as well.

Option 3 is the lean into veganism one. It wouldn't necessary make it compulsory, but would cut pizza delivery and obesity while boosting health and environmental friendliness.

Option 4 might legalise cannibalism, but would definitely increase the death rate. The reason it requires that alcohol not be banned is because of the chianti (wine) with the meal, but the more I think about it, the more I think I'll just make an option 4A where Dr Lannibal Hector mentions chianti (for nations where alcohol is legal) and an option 4B where he doesn't mention chianti (for nations where alcohol is illegal).

Option 5 is just a straightforward plummeting of obesity and pizza delivery (probably also hurting the economy), while religiousness surges.

I'll make the other changes soon.

I am playing around with the idea of transforming the whole issue into one of Leader choosing a personal chef, or of the nation choosing a national dish, but I'm still contemplating both of those possibilities.
Last edited by Netsaneti Reborn on Sun Dec 03, 2023 4:27 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Postby Netsaneti Reborn » Sun Dec 03, 2023 4:26 am

Outer Sparta wrote:What would be the significance of this event? I would also stress the importance of food quality, emphasizing how your nation is world-renowned when it comes to food.


The only reason I'm hesitant to do that is because food quality is a stat on nationstates, and I'm not sure if it would make sense to have the issue automatically emphasise food quality and how world-renowned a nation is for food for every nation, especially if you then look at the nation's stats and they are in the 90%s of 100% for food quality, which would suggest that their food (at least in general) is absolute garbage.
Last edited by Netsaneti Reborn on Sun Dec 03, 2023 4:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Tinhampton » Sun Dec 03, 2023 8:41 am

This issue deserves a better title than the name of the TV show in question.
Last edited by Tinhampton on Sun Dec 03, 2023 10:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Outer Sparta » Sun Dec 03, 2023 9:18 am

Netsaneti Reborn wrote:
Outer Sparta wrote:What would be the significance of this event? I would also stress the importance of food quality, emphasizing how your nation is world-renowned when it comes to food.


The only reason I'm hesitant to do that is because food quality is a stat on nationstates, and I'm not sure if it would make sense to have the issue automatically emphasise food quality and how world-renowned a nation is for food for every nation, especially if you then look at the nation's stats and they are in the 90%s of 100% for food quality, which would suggest that their food (at least in general) is absolute garbage.

It would make sense for a nation to have higher food quality to be world-renowned in terms of cuisine. Culture would also play a role.
Last edited by Outer Sparta on Sun Dec 03, 2023 9:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Netsaneti Reborn » Sun Dec 03, 2023 11:56 am

Tinhampton wrote:This issue deserves a better title than the name of the TV show in question.


Ya, I do think a name change could be in order, especially if I alter the premise of the issue to be more about a personal chef for Leader, or to be more about a national dish for the nation.

If I go with the personal chef angle, I was thinking @@LEADER@@'s next top chef

"Sugar and spice and all things decadent" could also work.

I'm open to any suggestions anyone might have.

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Netsaneti Reborn
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Postby Netsaneti Reborn » Sun Dec 03, 2023 11:58 am

Outer Sparta wrote:
Netsaneti Reborn wrote:
The only reason I'm hesitant to do that is because food quality is a stat on nationstates, and I'm not sure if it would make sense to have the issue automatically emphasise food quality and how world-renowned a nation is for food for every nation, especially if you then look at the nation's stats and they are in the 90%s of 100% for food quality, which would suggest that their food (at least in general) is absolute garbage.

It would make sense for a nation to have higher food quality to be world-renowned in terms of cuisine. Culture would also play a role.


So are you suggesting I should also limit the issue to nation's with high food quality? I could, but I don't necessarily think it is essential. You could still have some very good chefs in a nation where the food quality is generally terrible.

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Postby Outer Sparta » Sun Dec 03, 2023 10:52 pm

Netsaneti Reborn wrote:
Outer Sparta wrote:It would make sense for a nation to have higher food quality to be world-renowned in terms of cuisine. Culture would also play a role.


So are you suggesting I should also limit the issue to nation's with high food quality? I could, but I don't necessarily think it is essential. You could still have some very good chefs in a nation where the food quality is generally terrible.

Food quality and culture. Ultimately, you need to actually hash out the importance of this, and having a nation with high food quality and culture would make a lot of sense for this premise.
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Postby West Barack and East Obama » Sun Dec 03, 2023 11:23 pm

The last line of option 4 made me laugh out loud, so good job. Though I wouldn't create doppelganger options just to make a reference to chianti.

Effect line 3 could also benefit from something a bit less literal, but otherwise this issue is very solid.
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Netsaneti Reborn
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Postby Netsaneti Reborn » Tue Dec 05, 2023 9:49 am

West Barack and East Obama wrote:The last line of option 4 made me laugh out loud, so good job. Though I wouldn't create doppelganger options just to make a reference to chianti.

Effect line 3 could also benefit from something a bit less literal, but otherwise this issue is very solid.


Thanks, but I must praise the last scene of The Silence of the Lambs for that. That movie is also obviously where the liver, fava beans and chianti comes from.

I'll see what I can do to work on that effect,

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Postby Verdant Haven » Fri Dec 08, 2023 11:14 am

Hello! Your writing is starting in a pretty good place for a newcomer – welcome aboard :-)

- Option 1 currently needs a couple extra validities: Capitalism (due to the entrepreneur), and it needs the nation to permit consumption of the national animal (due to the @@ANIMAL@@ jus), which I believe fewer than 10% of nations allow. Both needs could be removed by swapping out those single words. Option 5 would also require an "allows religion" validity, which could be avoided by making the speaker a less-specific non-religious ascetic of some variety, rather than a religious figure.

- Outer Sparta's question above is definitely relevant – making sure to clarify the significance of this event is important to helping players understand why they are answering it, and what their answers mean. I do like the concept, and we have a couple other "Leader's Preference" list-type issues that are enjoyable – the key to them is usually to include some hint about what significance the choice holds. So far, this is just TV show that doesn't seem to affect the nation or the government.

- Options 1 and 2 and 4 currently seem to just be about expressing Leader's preference, while options 3 and 5 seem to be about declaring national policy. This goes hand in hand with the feedback above – we need to understand the context or importance of the "question" so we can understand the significance of the responses (and how they are triggering the effect lines).

- Options 1 through 3 all use the phrase "then for dessert" to introduce the second sentence. I know it's often used in presenting meals, but is that particular formula always used on MasterChef or something like that? If it's not a specific show reference, I would look to vary that somewhat between speakers.

- I see that you're already working on replacing effect line 3, which is needed. While the alliteration is good, the final effect line might also need a poke, as one of our conceits is that with extremely rare exception, your decisions are always supported by the populace (stomachs rumbling is great – citizens grumbling is a bit less so).

Looking forward to your next draft!

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Netsaneti Reborn
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Postby Netsaneti Reborn » Mon Dec 11, 2023 5:35 am

Verdant Haven wrote:Hello! Your writing is starting in a pretty good place for a newcomer – welcome aboard :-)

- Option 1 currently needs a couple extra validities: Capitalism (due to the entrepreneur), and it needs the nation to permit consumption of the national animal (due to the @@ANIMAL@@ jus), which I believe fewer than 10% of nations allow. Both needs could be removed by swapping out those single words. Option 5 would also require an "allows religion" validity, which could be avoided by making the speaker a less-specific non-religious ascetic of some variety, rather than a religious figure.

- Outer Sparta's question above is definitely relevant – making sure to clarify the significance of this event is important to helping players understand why they are answering it, and what their answers mean. I do like the concept, and we have a couple other "Leader's Preference" list-type issues that are enjoyable – the key to them is usually to include some hint about what significance the choice holds. So far, this is just TV show that doesn't seem to affect the nation or the government.

- Options 1 and 2 and 4 currently seem to just be about expressing Leader's preference, while options 3 and 5 seem to be about declaring national policy. This goes hand in hand with the feedback above – we need to understand the context or importance of the "question" so we can understand the significance of the responses (and how they are triggering the effect lines).

- Options 1 through 3 all use the phrase "then for dessert" to introduce the second sentence. I know it's often used in presenting meals, but is that particular formula always used on MasterChef or something like that? If it's not a specific show reference, I would look to vary that somewhat between speakers.

- I see that you're already working on replacing effect line 3, which is needed. While the alliteration is good, the final effect line might also need a poke, as one of our conceits is that with extremely rare exception, your decisions are always supported by the populace (stomachs rumbling is great – citizens grumbling is a bit less so).

Looking forward to your next draft!


Thanks for the comments, I'll think about it and see how I can adapt them effectively into my next draft.

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Simone Republic
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Postby Simone Republic » Tue Dec 19, 2023 4:53 am

I think MasterChef is a trademark. I guess use HomeCook or something.

Update: yes it is. Shine TV (the UK producer) owns the trademark at least in the UK. I didn't check USPTO as that search is more cumbersome.

https://trademarks.ipo.gov.uk/ipo-tmcas ... 0002563306
Last edited by Simone Republic on Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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