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What if Santa Claus was real?

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San Lumen
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What if Santa Claus was real?

Postby San Lumen » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:42 pm

Let’s say Santa Claus sprang into existence and had a large community of elves in a magical place at the North Pole. It will also be retroactive. Santa will have existed since Saint Nicholas of Myra.
Through his benevolent good acts of kindness and example in the spirit of giving, the spirit of Christmas created magic that resulted in the creation of ethereal figures including the role of Santa, elves, and flying reindeer

To avoid any physics discussion assume that Santa has the ability to travel outside space and time with his reindeer and sleigh and he is able to travel the world in one night.

Santa also no longer looks like the stereotypical Saint Nick. He is handsome and jacked like a model.

I think this would bring much joy to the world and make it a much better place. A world of magic and who knows what else.

What are your thoughts on this NSG?

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The Chads
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Postby The Chads » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:45 pm

Wait what he’s not

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Greater Rostoria
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Postby Greater Rostoria » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:45 pm

Bring back fat Santa
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Appilasol
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Postby Appilasol » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:46 pm

what is this
Ο πραγματικός μπακλαβάς είναι ελληνικός μπακλαβάς. Τουρκικός μπακλαβάς δεν υπάρχει. (English Translation): The real baklava is Greek baklava. Turkish baklava does not exist.

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San Lumen
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Postby San Lumen » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:46 pm

Greater Rostoria wrote:Bring back fat Santa


No. This is my interpretation.

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The Indios Bravos
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Postby The Indios Bravos » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:47 pm

The Chads wrote:Wait what he’s not

No no, he is.
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Jolthig
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Postby Jolthig » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:47 pm

Well, what if some evil minded person wanted to corrupt and use Santa Claus, then what?

Or if a hostile nation uses an AA gun to shoot down Santa Claus and his reindeer?

Not to ruin it, but given we're talking about what ifs.. :lol:
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Cerespasia
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Postby Cerespasia » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:47 pm

I would not want to be on his bad list.
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Postby Washington-Columbia » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:48 pm

One thing's that's for sure, food security and happiness rates would be higher, though in the North Pole, it would depend on how many elves work there.
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San Lumen
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Postby San Lumen » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:48 pm

The Indios Bravos wrote:
The Chads wrote:Wait what he’s not

No no, he is.


He’s an idea. I thought it would be an interesting thought experiment of what if he really did fly in a sleigh with reindeer on Christmas Eve

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The Free Joy State
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Postby The Free Joy State » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:48 pm

Why does Santa have to be sexy for this hypothetical?

I mean, I guess -- if a spirit with a workshop in the North Pole was making and delivering all the gifts -- it'd save buying Christmas presents, if nothing else. Businesses would be really pissed off about that.
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Keltionialang
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Postby Keltionialang » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:49 pm

if santa isn't real, explain how the presents get under my tree 8)





if you can't tell, this is a /s moment 8)

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San Lumen
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Postby San Lumen » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:49 pm

Jolthig wrote:Well, what if some evil minded person wanted to corrupt and use Santa Claus, then what?

Or if a hostile nation uses an AA gun to shoot down Santa Claus and his reindeer?

Not to ruin it, but given we're talking about what ifs.. :lol:


I’d think he would have ways to avoid that. What nation would be hostile towards Santa?

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The Chads
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Postby The Chads » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:49 pm

Ok but I’d give him like 100 houses to be shot

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Nirvasyl
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Postby Nirvasyl » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:49 pm

If Santa was real he would have been shot down by the world's superpowers... or North Korea, who is infamous for being a spoilsport.
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The Chads
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Postby The Chads » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:50 pm

San Lumen wrote:
Jolthig wrote:Well, what if some evil minded person wanted to corrupt and use Santa Claus, then what?

Or if a hostile nation uses an AA gun to shoot down Santa Claus and his reindeer?

Not to ruin it, but given we're talking about what ifs.. :lol:


I’d think he would have ways to avoid that. What nation would be hostile towards Santa?

North Korea

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Jolthig
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Postby Jolthig » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:50 pm

San Lumen wrote:
Jolthig wrote:Well, what if some evil minded person wanted to corrupt and use Santa Claus, then what?

Or if a hostile nation uses an AA gun to shoot down Santa Claus and his reindeer?

Not to ruin it, but given we're talking about what ifs.. :lol:


I’d think he would have ways to avoid that. What nation would be hostile towards Santa?

North Korea, and Iran are some examples.

Or the terrorist groups that are present in middle east.
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San Lumen
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Postby San Lumen » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:50 pm

The Free Joy State wrote:Why does Santa have to be sexy for this hypothetical?

I mean, I guess -- if a spirit with a workshop in the North Pole was making and delivering all the gifts -- it'd save buying Christmas presents, if nothing else. Businesses would be really pissed off about that.


Why can’t he be? I wanted to have some fun. A Christmas movie i saw recently inspired that part.
Last edited by San Lumen on Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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The Two Jerseys
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Postby The Two Jerseys » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:59 pm

The Chads wrote:Ok but I’d give him like 100 houses to be shot

Especially Channing Tatum Santa, he's clearly more threatening than a fat old guy.
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North Corlien
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Postby North Corlien » Sat Nov 25, 2023 11:01 pm

Imagine Krampuslauf though :rofl: :rofl:

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Necroghastia
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Postby Necroghastia » Sat Nov 25, 2023 11:03 pm

The Free Joy State wrote:Why does Santa have to be sexy for this hypothetical?

hot take but he's less sexy like this

give me dad bod santa or give me death
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Hispida
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Postby Hispida » Sat Nov 25, 2023 11:03 pm

more santa denying propaganda... how do the presents get there, then?
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The Free Joy State
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Postby The Free Joy State » Sat Nov 25, 2023 11:06 pm

Necroghastia wrote:
The Free Joy State wrote:Why does Santa have to be sexy for this hypothetical?

hot take but he's less sexy like this

give me dad bod santa or give me death

I mean, if Santa was real, he'd have a dad bod. He consumes massive amounts of mince pies, mulled wine, sherry and cookies in one night -- realistically, the real Santa would have massively high blood pressure and his doctor would probably put out notices requesting that people leave Santa a nice salad next year.
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Appilasol
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Postby Appilasol » Sat Nov 25, 2023 11:08 pm

The Free Joy State wrote:
Necroghastia wrote:hot take but he's less sexy like this

give me dad bod santa or give me death

I mean, if Santa was real, he'd have a dad bod. He consumes massive amounts of mince pies, mulled wine, sherry and cookies in one night -- realistically, the real Santa would have massively high blood pressure and his doctor would probably put out notices requesting that people leave Santa a nice salad next year.

And milk! (cow)
Ο πραγματικός μπακλαβάς είναι ελληνικός μπακλαβάς. Τουρκικός μπακλαβάς δεν υπάρχει. (English Translation): The real baklava is Greek baklava. Turkish baklava does not exist.

─╤══̵̵͇̿̿̿̿╦︻ weird guns ︻╦̵̵͇̿̿̿̿══╤─


I have a puppet nation called Tringrenbago.

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Eahland
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Postby Eahland » Sat Nov 25, 2023 11:08 pm

San Lumen wrote:Santa also no longer looks like the stereotypical Saint Nick. He is handsome and jacked like a model.

Seriously, man, we did not need to know this much about your fetishes.
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