DRAFT: Not-So Friendly Fire

[Urine Town]

This is my second draft since the first one about changing the size of the Sun didn’t seem to sit well with this forum.

Issue: Early one summer morning you wake up, not to a bright blue sky, but to a hazy orange one filled with smoke. As it turns out, the source of the smoke was an outbreak of wildfires from neighboring Brancaland traveling in the direction of @@CAPITAL@@.

Validity: Not an autarky

Option 1: “This is COUGH an outrage! COUGH COUGH,” your Secretary of Health and Human Services claims. “Just yesterday, my sister was fired because she had asthma and chose not to risk her life just to come to work. I was visiting my elderly father who was sent into the hospital for breathing troubles after inhaling too much smoke. By a stroke of luck, he survived, but not everyone is so fortunate. @@LEADER@@, please mandate that the emergency services distribute life-saving masks and air purifiers whenever air pollution threatens the public. It’s the least you can - - COUGH COUGH!”

Fallout: an abundance of gas masks leads post-apocalyptic film directors to flock to @@CAPITAL@@ in droves

Option 2: “The real issue of the matter is human activity,” your nation’s Secretary of Energy exclaims. “Over 80% of forest fires are caused by human activity. And Brancaland isn’t doing jack about preventing humans from endangering forested areas and causing fires. I’ve seen unattended campfires, discarded cigarette butts, and even burning debris! @@LEADER@@, we must impose sanctions on Brancaland until they prohibit humans from entering forested areas. These thugs may not care about nature, but they certainly care about their wallets!

Fallout: @@LEADER@@ judges a nation’s value by satellite imagery of it’s timber

Option 3: “Oh, and I suppose you’ll want us to turn @@NATIONNAME@@ into an autarky afterwards?” your Secretary of Commerce replies sarcastically. “Look, the public will riot once they no longer have access to Brancalandian syrup! What was I saying again? Oh yes, we’d be a fool not to send buckets of water to help quell their forest fires. I’m sure there is plenty of water to extract in our aquifers, as well as in the Great @ANIMAL@ Lake. We can argue about policy all we want, but right now our job is to put out the damn fire!”

Fallout: @@DEMONYM@@ foreign aid workers are mostly firefighters

Option 4 (allows cars): “Quick, I parked my car! We must leave now!” you hear your own uncle off in the distance. “This is our best chance to escape the bad air, and travel across @@NATIONNAME@@ to a place with cleaner air. We’ll return in a few weeks once the smoke clears out. If anyone wants to know where you are, just put on this fake wig and glasses I found on the streets.”

Option 4 (does not allow cars): “Quick, I have a rail ticket that gets us out of @@CAPITAL@@! We must leave now!” you hear your own uncle off in the distance. “This is our best chance to escape the bad air, and travel across @@NATIONNAME@@ to a place with cleaner air. We’ll return in a few weeks once the smoke clears out. If anyone wants to know where you are, just put on this fake wig and glasses I found on the streets.”

Fallout: it is said that @@LEADER@@ is a fair weather friend

[The Ferret Lands]

your Department of Justice claims. The air quality today is over 300, which is considered hazardous to our health. My wife had to homeschool our children, as they have asthma and it was too unsafe to walk to school. Just yesterday I was visiting my elderly father who was sent into the hospital for breathing troubles after inhaling too much smoke. Leader, please provide free air purifiers and surgical masks during times like these. It’s the least you can - - AH CHOO!”

Option 2: “I’m damn sure nobody objects to handing out air purifiers for sick patients” states your nation’s Attorney General.

The entire department all spoke at once? Wow, impressive!
Also isn't the Attorney General the head of the Department of Justice (at least in the US this is the case). How are they split across two different options?
You need a quotation mark between 'claims.' and 'The.' to continue that speaking part.

[Urine Town]

I changed Option 1 to “Department of Agriculture.” Hopefully that fixes the odd paradox (which I never intended on happening)

[The Ferret Lands]

Ok one other thing

The air quality today is over 300, which is considered hazardous to our health.

Air quality number doesn't really mean anything, and is redundant if you're being told it's hazardous. The way you've worded it also implies a larger number would be better, which is not the case. The real statistic is air quality index, but even that is not a tremendously helpful name.

ok two other things
What does agriculture have to do with handing out face masks and air purifiers?
For that matter how is justice related to sanctions on Brancaland or energy construction?

[Urine Town]

ok two other things
What does agriculture have to do with handing out face masks and air purifiers?
For that matter how is justice related to sanctions on Brancaland or energy construction?

Fixed! I initially only included their “Secretary Of” titles as placeholders, but actually found secretary titles that better align with what they are arguing for. Hopefully that fixes your questions

[Verdant Haven]

First out the gate with an issue about the current crop of massive wildfires and their unusual smoke plume (I've been coughing all morning from breathing it, from 700+ miles away). Well played.

- There are two issues about smoke from large fires causing trouble. Issue 628 is about smoke from domestic forest fires entering Capital, but it is more about land management than health, so that's relatively safe. Issue 685 is about smoke from across the border drifting into your nation, coming from deliberate burning of rainforests. This is a bit more challenging, both because of the cross-border nature being similar, and because several of the options are motivated by health concerns. There aren't any specific option overlaps, and the economic (vs environmental) causes of that are different, but the concept is definitely closely related and you'll want to make sure that your draft does everything it can to feel unique. I think it's doable, but it will need to be well-written and precise to ensure it works.

- Option 2 doesn't feel like it has enough to do with the dilemma. "There are forest fires " doesn't connect with "the nation that's on fire is using fossil fuel." I get that forest fires and weather systems are absolutely affected by global warming, but this specific scenario (unhealthy amounts of forest fire smoke in Capital) isn't addressed by threatening trade sanctions based on power production methods. Perhaps if the speaker makes more of a point of linking the existence of the fire to climate change, and presents the idea as a solution to reduce future fires, it will work a bit better. Right now it's floating alone.

- I'm actually fairly amused by option 4. That's a good way to pitch a "do nothing" response that actually does involve Leader doing something, and therefore is a valid option to include.

- Effect lines don't need capital letters on the beginning. I'd like to see the effect lines (especially 2 and 3) made a bit shorter and snappier. Effect line 4 is great if you chop the first half off and leave just the part about being a fair-weather friend (good play on words, there!).

[Urine Town]

I decreased the length of effect lines and changed option 2 to focus on human activity in forested areas, which seems to be the main cause of forest fires

[Urine Town]

/bump

[Verdant Haven]

- Description: you can lose a couple of the commas in the first sentence, and can delete the final sentence. We meet the speakers and their concerns below.

- Option 1 hits several validity challenges: allows marriage (wife), no child self-rearing (homeschool), and allows religion (grace of God).

- Option 2: Rather than citing an absurd number like 75%, it might be better to demand more generally that their forests be declared wildernesses free from human activity. It's also really hard to figure out what the government is doing here. Is the final upshot of this a demand for another nation to change? Is it cutting off trade? Are you or are you not distributing air purifiers? We can't stat effects on other nations, so the big "demand" here (that Brancaland change something) are not going to impact the player nation. As such, it might be worth suggesting something a bit more intense, like saying that not only should you demand Brancaland do this, but also that you should do the same at home.

- Option 4: This hits validity: allows cars. Could alter it to avoid that, as the concept is pretty funny.

- Issue Validity: Not an autarky

[Urine Town]

/bump. Thank you for the feedback!

[Verdant Haven]

- Option 1 leads in with some solid arguments, but the urgency seems to fade by the end. Rather than merely asking LEADER to "provide air purifiers and masks during times like these," I would suggest keeping up the pressure with something akin to "mandating that the emergency services distribute life-saving masks and air purifiers whenever air pollution threatens the public." Not really changing the option substantively, but giving the speaker back the emotion they probably feel having just seen their father nearly die and their nieces/nephews imperiled.

- Option 2: that feels a bit better, but work on the structure of the sentences to make sure they read smoothly. I might also add a brief additional bit of information to reinforce that doing this is intended to prevent the kind of scenario that is unfolding.

- Effect 2 is a bit borderline. I don't think it would make sense to people who don't have the context of the option – especially given that it is meant to read the opposite/inverse of what would usually be implied!

- Option 3 is a good one – just add a bit more focus on explaining how the solution works. The primary focus this speaker should have is on dealing with the dilemma (fires, smoke, and the apparent inability of Brancaland to handle it themselves). Their focus should not largely be on the previous speaker (cutting off trade, economic sanctions, etc).

- Option 4 cracks me up, and the effect line is the best of the bunch. I'd like to see something other than "just bribe them" as the proposed solution to dealing with questions, though.

[Urine Town]

/bump

I edited my issue to reflect your comments above. Thank you

[Australian rePublic]

Option 2- Ha? FOrests NATURALLY catch fire? Also, option 1 effect- I don't think so. People would see the smoke everywhere, and in either case, they're different masks. Option 4- metros don't typically travel beyond city limits. Different types of trains are used for long distance travel

[Urine Town]

Option 2- Ha? FOrests NATURALLY catch fire? Also, option 1 effect- I don't think so. People would see the smoke everywhere, and in either case, they're different masks. Option 4- metros don't typically travel beyond city limits. Different types of trains are used for long distance travel

/bump
I changed the option 1 effect and option 4. For option 2, even if not all forest fires are caused by humans, limiting human activity would still ideally make forest fires less common

[Australian rePublic]

Option 2- Ha? FOrests NATURALLY catch fire? Also, option 1 effect- I don't think so. People would see the smoke everywhere, and in either case, they're different masks. Option 4- metros don't typically travel beyond city limits. Different types of trains are used for long distance travel

/bump
I changed the option 1 effect and option 4. For option 2, even if not all forest fires are caused by humans, limiting human activity would still ideally make forest fires less common

Sure. There are many things that could cause fire:

1. Lightning-this is out of the control of a government
2. Arson and/or tossing cigarettes out the window
3. Outdoor fires on days of high fire risk
4. Lack of fires- this may seem counter intuitive, but failure to set forests on fire in some parts of the world (e.g. California, USA, eastern Australia), fire departments deliberatley set vegetation on fire in ordet to clear some of the undergrowth and thus prevent fires from worsening. In Australia, the Aboriginals had been doing that for millenia before colonisation, and the practice still continued today

Which of those do you think would be within the control of Bracenland?
1. Lightning is a natural phenomenon
2. Arson is a crime
3. I suppose they could have stricter bans on outdoor fires, and enforce them, but that's about it
4. Sure, but doing that will increase the amount of smoke

[Australian rePublic]

Option 2- Ha? FOrests NATURALLY catch fire? Also, option 1 effect- I don't think so. People would see the smoke everywhere, and in either case, they're different masks. Option 4- metros don't typically travel beyond city limits. Different types of trains are used for long distance travel

/bump
I changed the option 1 effect and option 4. For option 2, even if not all forest fires are caused by humans, limiting human activity would still ideally make forest fires less common

What exactly do you want Bracenland to do in order to mitigate their fire risks?

[Urine Town]

/bump
I changed the option 1 effect and option 4. For option 2, even if not all forest fires are caused by humans, limiting human activity would still ideally make forest fires less common

What exactly do you want Bracenland to do in order to mitigate their fire risks?

Brancaland needs to ban humans from entering forested areas according to the speaker from Option 2

[Australian rePublic]

What exactly do you want Bracenland to do in order to mitigate their fire risks?

Brancaland needs to ban humans from entering forested areas according to the speaker from Option 2

But why? How does that help anything? How does stopping people from entering forests prevent fires?

[Logophilia Lyricalia]

Hiya, nice issue draft you got here.

In Option 4, what exactly are you coating with radioactive waste? How does that relate to the issue? IMO it would be better to say something like "...if they refuse, we can just make them 'disappear.'"

Option 3, no pressure but there is a "Great @@ANIMAL@@ Lake" in at least one prior issue, if you'd care to tie that in.

[Verdant Haven]

- In the description, the phrasing currently has the outbreak of wildfires as the thing that is traveling in the direction of the capital, rather than the smoke. That could certainly be a problem, but I think the smoke is what is intended.

- Option 1: Looking better. I’d probably switch the final “Ah choo!” to another cough, as sneezing is a different thing from coughing and might seem like it’s confusing the problem.

- As previously, don’t capitalize your effect lines. For effect 1, I’m not sure the connection between the option and the effect is currently clear.

- Option 2: I get where this is going, but I’d like to see a little more emphasis on the “humans cause fires and restricting activity will prevent future problems” side of the solution. We also need to make sure this option isn’t a “do this, or do that” sort of situation – options need to be a single specific action. Rather than the “demand this, and if they refuse, punish them” approach, it will work much better to use “punish them until they meet our demands!” That leaves no doubt about what your next step is.

- Option 3: This is pretty reasonable. A few minor wording elements that might be tweaked to make it clearer or more amusing, but overall makes sense.

- Option 4: I feel like the radioactive waste bit is a step in the wrong direction. This is pretty funny without turning leader into a domestic terrorist, and there’s something amusing about the whole “just run away” aspect. I think the more low effort the actions taken are, the better, as it will provide a counterpoint to the intense national/international level responses of the others. A wig, sunglasses, and a bad fake accent might accomplish the same result with more humor and less effort than carrying out a KGB-style campaign of poisonings.

[Urine Town]

/bump for more feedback

Thank you, Verdant Haven, Australian RePublic, and Logophilia Lyricalia, for the feedback. I still question if Option 1’s fallout is too long for what the speaker is advocating for?

[Tinhampton]

Purely in the interests of expanding issue eligibility - is there any way you could rework Option 1 at all so that child self-rearing nations can get this issue? (Perhaps have the speaker say @@HIS@@ sister was fired because she had asthma and therefore couldn't attend her job performance meeting? I work in management IRL so I should know )

[Urine Town]

Purely in the interests of expanding issue eligibility - is there any way you could rework Option 1 at all so that child self-rearing nations can get this issue? (Perhaps have the speaker say @@HIS@@ sister was fired because she had asthma and therefore couldn't attend her job performance meeting? I work in management IRL so I should know )

Thank you for making that part of the issue easier for me

[Verdant Haven]

- I'm going to keep poking at Option 3, because it strikes me as the most mundane-sounding response, despite (or perhaps because of) being the most logical. If you can tweak it just a wee bit, to add a little bit more emotion to the language, I think it would strengthen that choice. "We'd be fools not to..." is a good, strong statement! It deserves emphatic support. Putting myself in the shoes of that speaker, I can imagine being flabbergasted I'm even having to say it... We can argue about policy later, right now we need to put out the damn fire!

- In the final doppelganger options, the e-Barry element introduces an internet validity that doesn't otherwise exist.

Overall pretty good.

[Urine Town]

Improved on Option 3 and removed the unnecessary validity check for Option 4. Appreciate the feedback