In the Spirit of International Cooperation....

[South West Rhodesia]

The Sublime Republic of SW Rhodesia, has- after not much consideration and limited consultation, come round to the perspective that it will in the spirit of international conviviality adds its weightyness to the global arena by creating its first international accident.

The SW Rhodesian Bureau of Lion Cub Retention & Expansion unilaterally declares that:

"All Your Lion Cub Belong to Us"

This applies to all Africa, and all zoos in all the world.

Please poke air holes in the side of all crates and boxes when sending them back.

[Southeast Marajarbia]

Marajarbia remains neutral on the decisions made by Rhodesia.

[The Crimson Isles]

Trenton High Tower, Trentonsburg

"Am I even reading this right? Hahahaha" When King Hunter read over Rhodesia's demands he simply laughed it off to the point that his sternum was actually hurting from the laughter. "OH boy, that gave me a good kick, what the hell are they even gonna do? They can barely even keep a hold on their own damn populace"

And with that, the requests have been officially ignored.

[Tommy Sakai]

Tommy Sakai laughs in his office. “We are not turning in our lions.” The military prepares its army of 1000 armored lions.

[South West Rhodesia]

So.... Our reasonable demands have been refused...

And foreign armoured lions mobilised...

So be it. Our lion armed nuclear missiles were intended for purely defensive reasons [actually they weren't but that's neither here nor there], but now you present us with no alternative but to release our Ferocious Feline Fighters (ex Kitty Kat Killers but with a name change for obvious reasons].
Death to the Unbelievers. Vengeance shall be ours!!

Umm, WHERE exactly are you again?

[Tommy Sakai]

Oh we are massive. We are composed of:


-Russia
-The United States
-Japan
-South Korea
-Ghana
-Nigeria
-France
-Spain
-Portugal
-Greece
-Belarus
-Croatia
-Ukrainian
-Czech Republic
-Bosnia
-Lativa
-Lithuania
-Macedonia
-Albania
-Slovakia
-Serbia
-Poland
-Estonia

[South West Rhodesia]

...A thousand armoured lions you say....?

Maybe We've been a bit hasty, would you swop some left over copper mining equipment, and 1238 miles of redundant railway track for them?

We're always in the market for more lions.

Anything we have to offer- or... is in a weaker neighbouring state, we can provide as trade for them.

State your terms

President Brei VII

[South West Rhodesia]

What???
We can't possibly nuke all that lot. It'd take simply ages to work out all the capitals. And not one is in African anyway. We're not sending expensive missiles and our beloved lions outside of Africa. That's cruelty that is. Poor things'll get absolutely frozen.

[Tommy Sakai]

Maybe you’d like to sign a treaty before things get violent?

[Southeast Marajarbia]

Maybe you’d like to sign a treaty before things get violent?

Marajarbia expresses its support for a treaty that can and will stop any violence instigated by Southwest Rhodesia.

[South West Rhodesia]

Peace Treaty???
Oooooh Yesss!

Our Dept of Culture & Beaux Artes has been sitting around doing nothing for months! This'll cheer them up no end.
Nothing like an elaborate forged Peace Treaty with some secret provisions written in invisible ink, and convoluted 'let out' clauses to get them buzzing again!

Do we have a mutual enemy we can stitch up too? All the best Treaties do that. (Our Intelligence Unit has uncovered a telegram indicating that Majarbia has designs on your ports... we will supply 3 flotillas of Hippo's if you find it necessary to defensively attack them)

Here's our proposed text:

SW Rhodesia and... blah blah blah agreee to be nice to each other... etc etc, and hand over most of its nukes to the aforementioned SWR... blah blah, 3 years... and so forth.... all armoured lions to be handed over as reparations within 24 hours...blah blah blah.... etc etc"

Pretty much covers it. Nothing very contentious there. Signing it would be a mere formality, we've got a good copy of your signature too- if you are a bit busy at the moment?

[Tommy Sakai]

We are not handing over our armored lions. We have our conditions listed out.

If you don’t want things to get violent you will hand over:

-100 Rhodesian slaves

-1 Rhodesian city

And…

-you join our armed forces as hired guns.

[South West Rhodesia]

Ohh alriiight...
Mumble grumble...

[Pssst- Prez...! Zambia's got a city on the river- they'll never know its not ours]

One city... with a lovely view of the river.

[Pssst Prez, we have a large conference group from the World Anti-Slavery Forum landed at Thornhill by mistake...]

100 slaves. Okey dokey doo doo. Top notch condition most never done a days work in their lives. I'm enjoying this!

What else was it?
"And join our armed forces" ... errrmmm?? Bit of a liberty...
[Oh ho ho! Wait a mo' The Black Manes!!! Cost a fortune to keep and no end of trouble, they'll be back in a month max]

Yes yes, we have just the thing- a Special Forces group called the Black Manes- wonderfully bitey

Nice doing business with you.

Prez Brei VII
SW Rhodesia