The Equit Times

[Lackadaisia]

The Equit Times

News from the nations of our region

This is the thread for updates from our region of Equit. All posts should be made in character and come from resident nations of our region. These can be anything from news broadcasts to personal statements from your leader but they must pertain to recent events regarding your nation (domestic or international).

Here is a basic format you may use, but feel free to be creative!

Code: Select all

[b]Date
Name of news source
Nation or location[/b]

[i]Title[/i]

Write your piece here :)



[Shashima]

June 1, 2023
From the desk of Ambassador Gusev
The Federation of Shashima

Another day in our federation

For today, we have some interesting headlines from the state. Due to needed correctional reforms, the citizen's civil rights index fell a bit... but it was necessary. We also have implemented some election reforms to reduce corruption and increase efficiency. Our police have been informed of new guidelines and are being trained to adhere to them in order to better protect our people. Now, our Minister of Cartography: "No new nations, no new map and it looks as if Nat Selection is about to have a cataclysmic event. We will be monitoring the situation."

Ambassador Gusev

[Lackadaisia]

June 1, 2023
LAKA 1010KHz AM, 4420KHz USB, 13590KHz USB, 106.9MHz FM
Nu'uba, Tarin, Lackadaisia

The Lackadaisia Minute

*static* ...I ain't got no time fer taxes! The gubbmint can fek right off! *guitar fades out* It's that time - it's the minute! Today's big headlines in Lala Land: Everyone votes! Fungus in the park! You have domain over your throne! Judges can do what they want! And the big sticker today folks... corporations are funding social programs and some people are pissy about it, saying that their civil rights are being infringed upon... but hey, would YOU rather pay for it? Didn't think so, Jack! *click*

[Zuper]

June 1, 2023
From the desk of Premier Jelwa
The Democratic Republic of Zuper

My daily address

Hello friends. Today is a good day. Not too good, not too bad. Our economy is up a bit with the international sale of weapons being approved. Tax reforms have resulted in a rise in political freedoms as well. Things are on the up and up here as it is said. I wish you all a good day!

Signed,
Jelwa

[Free Democracies]

June 1, 2023
News News News
Democraticus, FFD

New Government of Kaveria, Bavian, Krev. and Vevont

The new government, the Federation of Free Democracies, has been established. Elections have taken place, with the Liberals leading nationwide. However, the Libertarians led Bavian and the Conservatives led Vevont. The nation will have frequent elections and will seek to give the people as much freedom as possible without it being anarchy.

-Konstantin Reubke, journalist from News News News

[Shashima]

June 2, 2023
From the desk of Ambassador Gusev
The Federation of Shashima

Big things always happen on a Friday

Good Friday. As is the custom, we have multiple headlines heading into the weekend. With the disappearance of a notable individual, our department of safety has expanded it's research and activity into the cyber crimes sector. With the officers being trained to handle this new and ever evolving threat, we feel our federation will be safe in the coming years of these technological advancements. With these newfound safeguards, we have also increased our focus on new technology development. Time travel may be closer than you think my friends. But in reality, our new electric cars are so appealing that we can barely keep up with demand. With this issue, we have started a lithium recycling program and have increased taxes on these new luxuries to compensate for their byproducts. If that weren't enough, we have also officially switched to using the metric system. Having done all this simultaneously, we have made quite a leap forward and plan to enjoy the benefits to come.

In regional news, the nation Nat Selection has ceased to exist due to a cataclysmic event of great proportions. Our intelligence agencies have not disclosed their findings on the matter, but we wish the departed nation the best in the afterlife that is the boneyard. Farewell. Now, the daily update from our Ministry of Cartography: "Even with Nat Selection having ceased to exist, there are no changes today. We have sighted one new nation, Free Democracies, and have been receiving news broadcasts from them. They seem to be a newer nation but organized and civil. We anticipate their upcoming developments."

Ambassador Gusev

[Zuper]

June 2, 2023
From the desk of Premier Jelwa
The Democratic Republic of Zuper

A great surprise for the weekend

Hello and may I say happy Friday to my fellow nations! We are going into this weekend with happy faces and tan bums. You will understand my friends, just read on! First though, the important things. In a decision made today, politicians will be treated as the citizens - no better but also no worse. They have the same rights and will be handled as anyone else - even me! This also ties in to legislation we have passed that defines a right to equal protection of all citizens. This comes from an incident with an illegal immigrant and also has spawned a nation wide campaign for good citizenship. But, and I say that with great pleasure, we have the big news and we're going to crack it open... nudity has now been decriminalized here in our nation! Prudism is out and bootyism is in! I say it is a good change for our nation and is another step away from the tyrannical dictatorships of our past. Hang loose this weekend my friends!

Signed,
Jelwa

[Lackadaisia]

June 2, 2023
LAKA 1010KHz AM, 4420KHz USB, 13590KHz USB, 106.9MHz FM
Nu'uba, Tarin, Lackadaisia

The Mike Brava Show

*static* ...and get My Blanket™️ for only three easy payments of 24.99! Call now! *heavy metal intro* Folks, we're back. Let me tell you something about the government. You give it an inch and it takes ten fekking miles and charges you interest. BRAVO SIERRA as I and my loyal listeners say. Pfft. These socialists think they can pull this crap? Look, just today a rowdy group of honeys jarred the hill so hard they made handwriting training mandatory in schools across the whole peninsula! Thankfully they saved their own asses with their upholding of our right to free speech. Oh yea, and the right to sell our bits to the hospital! Yea, yea! Thats right *papers shuffle* here it is. Hospitals now allowed to purchase donor's organs. See, not all bad folks. With that and the killing of the bill to put more funding into healthcare, I'd say not a totally bad day but hey, stay out of my life Macy Crone! You wicked old... *click*

[Free Democracies]

June 2, 2023
News News News
Democraticus, FFD

New bills passed

Due to the old violent dictatorship, the military funding has been decreased. Education funding has been significantly increased as to introduce STEM and the arts to the next generation. Nothing else of note has really happened today.

-Konstantin Reubke, journalist at News News News

[Shashima]

June 3, 2023
From the desk of Ambassador Gusev
The Federation of Shashima

The sun never sets and the clock never stops

It is the end of the weekend and we will see it out with the good and the not so good. In domestic headlines, a woman was refused her medicine due to a pharmacist's personal beliefs. As you can imagine, this caused quite a stir with the populace. In reaction to this unfortunate event, we have mandated that professionals in the pharmacist field must fill valid prescriptions given by a licensed medical professional. This will do away with personal views obstructing duties in such situations. Along with that, we also have instituted a blind awareness program and have made changes to public spaces in order to better accommodate those who are visually impaired. New construction is also being regulated in a more environmentally conscious manner, with new certifications being required for projects within our borders. The political landscape has seen quite a bit of activity as well. As you may notice, parliament agreed on a new flag, motto, animal and currency to suit our new government. I for one think the change is for the better. We will not abandon our historical roots but we must acknowledge the passage of time and adjust accordingly. Following in that method of thought, we have also mandated the redrawing of voter districts in order to better represent the populace. This has given rise to our political freedoms index.

With our new friends in Free Democracies, Equit has grown by another member state. This is good for us all and we would like to personally welcome them and hope they enjoy their time here. Another nation, Tormance, is coming close to a similar cataclysmic event that plagued our friends in Nat Selection not but a short time ago. With that, here is a message from our Minister of Cartography: "We have a new face on the map: Free Democracies. I extend my welcome and wish them the best on their newly allocated land. The nation of Tormance has not responded for some time and it is rumored they may suffer the same fate as Nat Selection. We will be keeping our sights on them."

Ambassador Gusev

[Zuper]

June 3, 2023
From the desk of Premier Jelwa
The Democratic Republic of Zuper

Light Saturday

I bid you happy Saturday my friends and neighbors. It is today I say there is not much to be excited about and that is a good thing. This day of Saturday is meant for rest and it has been used so for our good. But, I will say we did have some happenings in our great nation today. We have instituted a new program in our correctional system that puts our citizens serving their debt to society on the field and making food for the homeland! In sports, many competitors have been caught using illicit and harmful substances which has caused us to begin mandatory testing on all athletes. There has also been strives in the field of biological research. Staying in tune with the day of rest, our politicians have also relaxed some rules in the parliament and also reinforced ideals of traditionalism.

We are going into this new week rested and recoopered. Whatever comes, we will have the strength and courage to conquer it. I say this with great certainty for I know my people have grown stronger since our turn to this new life. I thank my people and I thank my fellow nations for their support. Bless you all and bless Zuper!

Signed,
Jelwa

[Lackadaisia]

June 3, 2023
PYR4 Channel 4
Cornall, Pyrah, Lackadaisia

Roundtable

*static*

Sherry: Thanks for staying with us. We're back and we are now going to cover the headlines before our interview with Speaker of the House Macy Crone. In an unsurprising outcome, most of the proposals today were either laughed off the floor or flipped to benefit private interests. The "slothdog" problem has become policy, with reserves being set up for this invasive nuisance. And of course, people's rights to deface just about anything was also upheld with the dismissing of some public safety legislation. Libertarianism is now taught in schools following some issues with "economic bumps with customer notions" as the education system's principal donors put it. A merger with the two largest drug manufacturers in the nation is also underway and the government seems to have cut even more red tape for this occasion. This has also resulted in new unregulated trade deals with foreign entities.

Tom: What's the point of having a government if they never do anything?

Dylan: Now Tom, we're a young nation! We have to forge our own path. It's our duty to steer this new nation in the right direction!

Tom: I guess, but how? How, if the majority of representatives kill every bill in their path?

Sherry: Sounds like the representatives are the problem...

Dylan: Sherry's right, but not totally. It's the people! We need to inform the people, educate them and rally them to vote these do-nothings out of office!

Tom: That sounds good and all, but how are you going to sway public opinion like that?

Dylan: One person at a time.

Sherry: Riveting discourse here as always! But now we have our guest, Speaker of the House Macy Crone. Please, Mrs. Speaker, could you give us your firsthand experience of the senseless neglect that occurs in our congress?

Macy: Thank you for having me, Sherry. Yes, these fools, I'm telling you, these fools need to be dealt with. How can I, me, can I do my job when the whole floor is against me? What do the people, you people, us people, what do we do? It's madness there.

Dylan: We need to rally the people! Lackadaisia deserves better!

Tom: Mrs. Crone, what are your prospects on a cultural shift for the future of Lackadaisia?

Macy: These people, I'm telling you *sips drink* they need to be aware. We need to get this information out there. Pyrans know the nonsense - they have this great show and this great outlet to show them! But in the backwaters, erm, the less fortunate areas of Lackadaisia *sips drink* such as central Tarin or eastern Borlo, these people only hear things like The Lackadaisia Minute or that fool Mike Brava. People like that need to be shut down!

Tom: Many wouldn't like that though... that would be a real step towards-

Dylan: Towards what Tom? Towards a better country?

Tom: Well, these people value their freedom and-

Dylan: These people don't know what they want, let alone need! We need to bring Lackadaisia up a few pegs. It's time to stop living like barbarians!

Macy: You see *sips drink* could I get another? Thanks. You see, Dylan is right. Dylan is the kind of person we need for our movement to fix the government.

Dylan: Fabulous! *takes selfie with Macy*

Sherry: Well, a big thank you to Mrs. Crone for taking time out of her busy schedule to come here for this interview. We will continue spreading the truth and information to as many people as possible. Thank you for tuning in and now we have-

*click*