An Economy Of No-Shows
Validity: Has the internet, high economic freedom/economy, high civil rights and high scientific advancement/IT sector
The Issue: The National Remote Workers' Union has gone on strike after a corporate conglomerate issued a series of demands for them to return back to the office over work ethic disputes. While workplace welfare experts have also raised concerns, the union claims they're more productive than ever and want you to ensure their right to work from home.
Option 1: "How can we expect to keep our tremendous economy on the rise if everyone wants to work from their bloody bedrooms!" blasts CEO of Boringe Logistics @@RANDOMNAME@@, fixing his million-@@CURRENCY@@ tie. "My conglomerate has worked day and night to create the best working conditions in all of @@NAME@@ and now we have empty offices? It's preposterous! All remote work positions should be examined by the government and axed if they're not deemed essential to their businesses. This lunacy needs to end, or we'll be in the red before the sixty-hour work week is over."
Effect: office workers get a five minute break every day to cry profusely
Option 2: "Dude, chill out," says former Boring Logistics employee @@RANDOMNAME@@, now a pioneering remote worker, "My productivity has skyrocketed since I went fully online. I can watch cat videos on five different monitors and I still earn seven times more than those suckers at the office!" He stops to complete a few data entries and an online form before downing a monster-sized energy drink. "Sure, I'll go offline to play games, maybe go out once a day for a mild walk, but who cares? I'm making you more money! Honestly, if the government encouraged all office employees to fast-track their workflows and go fully digital, the economy would only get better."
Effect: the national record for most jobs held simultaneously is thirty-seven
Option 3: "Wow, this is all so depressing," sighs local workplace welfare therapist @@RANDOMNAME@@, copies of @@HIS@@ book 'Holistically Working Spiritually' piled on your desk, "The problem with office work is that it feeds into an unhealthy cycle where many employees get virtually no direct sunlight exposure throughout the day, damage their eyesight looking at screens, barely get any physical movement, and the same applies to remote jobs! What we really need is a total reevaluation of our approach to working conditions. All workplaces should have double the breaks, outside exercise equipment, eyesight safe screens, and more ergonomic desk chairs. This way, remote workers will be inclined to come back to their offices, and businesses can't treat their employees like desk slaves!"
Effect: new, lean-back spinny chairs are all the rage in @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ workplaces