Englands liberation fayre!

[Suth Seaxe]

*Trumpets blaring, you look outside to see a messenger from England declaring good news*

"Come one, come all! Æthelwealh from Suth Seaxe here.

After the recent invasion of England that resulted in my own Government fleeing to the English channel, via TRR, with our glorious return to England with the help of the liberation forces we are deciding to have a party!

Within the capital of Chichester, I, Æthelwealh have opened my treasury to put on a great Liberation Fayre! All nations are welcome to join."

We have 3 main events.


1) A jousting tournament.
Where 1 Squire from each nation competes to become officially Knighted by isle_of_westland


2) A Guinea Pig parade.
With the defenders having the venerable Guinea Pig upon their flags in honour of the Commendation of nakarisaune, we will hold a Guinea Pig parade in their honour!


3) England's best bard.
With the poetry running rampant in the England RMB during the occupation that really aggravated the Raiders, Suth Seaxe is looking for what you've got! A short limerick about England or one of the defenders or raiders will be judged by no other than Cimon Sowell!


If you would like to be entered into the draw, please take a ticket below and leave your details on the slips!

You walk over to a hastly assembled table, fighting your way through the crowd to find various application forms. Which one will you choose? Or will your nation enter into all 3?

1-The Jousting tournament:

A jousting competition will be decided by 6 attributes:
1 Strength
2 Defence
3 Dexterity
4 Intelligence
5 Willpower
6 Luck

Jousts will be decided by a 6 sided die, and top trumps style the 2 randomly rolled attributes will generate a win. The highest attribute score will see the Squire through, eventually to the final in a knock out competition

2 Additional points can be gained by well rounded RP in your Squires description. (These will be added to each roll and Suth Seaxe will judge on your entry if it gains the maximum +2 addition. So be creative!

Your Squire will have 12 points to choose from to spread across all 6 attributes!

2-The Guinea pig parade

Submit a photo on the forum below of your Guinea pig, or one from a photo that you think is the best, and Suth Seaxe will decide the winner!

3- England's best bard!

Simply write a short limerick or Poem about the raid or England, submit it below and the winner will be decided by Suth Seaxe!

You pickup a few entry forms and wander away...



We look forwards to seeing your entry! Entries will close Saturday 1st April 2023

[Suth Seaxe]

Æthelwealh has instructed his own advisors to enlist in the Merrie Liberation fayre!

See below our own entry.

1) The Jousting tournament.

We enter into the Joust, Sir John de Radynden.



Sir John de Radynden was a brave and skilled knight known throughout the land for his impressive feats of jousting. He was a towering figure, with broad shoulders and a stern countenance that struck fear into the hearts of his opponents. But despite his formidable appearance, Sir John was a noble and chivalrous knight, always upholding the values of honor and justice.

His coat of arms bore six golden martlets on a field of blue, a symbol of his family's long and proud history. Sir John was fiercely proud of his heritage, and always fought with great vigour and determination to uphold the honour of his family and his kingdom.

In the jousting arena, Sir John was a force to be reckoned with, his lance always finding its mark and sending his opponents tumbling from their horses. But even in victory, he was gracious and humble, always honouring his opponents and showing respect for the rules of the tournament.

Through his skill, bravery, and devotion to his family and his kingdom, Sir John de Radynden became a legend in his own time, an exemplar of the virtues of chivalry and the power of the human spirit.
His armour is well polished and he is counting on his experience to win. Lucky by nature, he will want to avoid the stronger jousters in the tournament. His attributes are as follows

Strength 1
Defence 2
Dexterity 2
Intelligence 4
Willpower 1
Luck 2

2) The guinea pig parade.

We enter into the parade, the great beast of Chichester, Smelly the guinea pig. A male guinea pig so unruly that he unfortunately cannot be left with other guinea pigs due to fighting. But he is nice, warm and affectionate when cuddled. His favourite food is cucumber and Dandelion leaves.



3) The limerick competition
Sir Thomas the Bard and his "Ode to tea"

In old England, the raiders did come
With swords and shields, they beat the drum
But the English, they had a trick
To win the fight, they used tea to kick

With cups in hand, they raised them high
And shouted out a battle cry
The raiders laughed and charged ahead
But the tea soon left them feeling dead

The English won with cups of tea
Their victory, a sight to see
So next time you face a mighty foe
Just offer them a cup, you know!

[Baked beans on toast]

Here at baked beans on toast, we would like to enter all 3 of the competitions

To the joust, we enter Sir Heinz.
Sir Heinz is a round man with ginger hair. He is quite new to the joust and is looking to gain his first victory! A large strong man who is looking to be lucky in his first tournament to make up for his lack of experience!
His stats are:

Strength 4
Defence 1
Dexterity 1
Intelligence 1
Willpower 1
Luck 4

The guinea pig we are entering is called Beany, a lovely orange coloured pig who participated in Guerrilla warfare against the raiders by committing scorched earth against the raiders horsemen. She ate the fields of grass preventing the raider cavalry from resupplying.



Our entry to the limerick competition is by Sir Toasty, the best bard in Beans on Toast we currently have.

Beans on toast, a classic meal
But be warned, it comes with a deal
Your belly may churn
And your flatulence burn
For the gas it creates is quite real!

[Isle of Westland]

Squire Humphrey Goodenough


Image based off art by dashinvaine

Strength 1
Defence 1
Dexterity 1
Intelligence 3
Willpower 4
Luck 2

Young Humphrey is the eldest son of the famous knight of the realm, Sir Henry Goodenough, 1st Baron Foxham. Though he was the eldest son, Humphrey often felt overshadowed by his two younger brothers, who were more athletic and physically imposing than he was. Humphrey, however, had a fierce determination and a deep-seated desire to prove himself worthy of his family name and to become a famous and successful knight, just like his father. What he lacked in brawn, he more than made up for in intelligence and willpower.

From a young age, Humphrey was trained in the ways of knighthood, learning how to fight with a sword, ride a horse, and wear heavy armour. Despite his best efforts, he often struggled to keep up with his brothers in these pursuits, but he never gave up. He would practice tirelessly. Humphrey's father, a renowned knight himself, recognised his son's ambition and would spend hours training Humphrey and imparting the wisdom he had gained from his own years of experience. Humphrey soaked up every bit of knowledge he could, determined to on day become the best knight he could be and prove the naysayers sorely mistaken, he only needed the chance to do so.

Humphrey's middle name will be revealed either part way through, or hopefully at the end of the jousting competition.

---

For the Guinea Pig Parade, it is my pleasure to proudly announce...

Lord Henry Hammington, 4th Earl Hammington of Piggy Mannor

[Masternia]

1.
In the Northern mountainous regions of Masternia, a towering orc would enter the recruitment tent for the upcoming Jousting event in England. The humans in their tiny chairs would look at him noticing his muscular physique and various scars across his body from years of bloodshed and wars with a variety of races. The orc would grab the pencil and write his name as "Zurgug the Destroyer," an identity given to him from the Iron Horde Tribe near the iron mines of Morthal which used to be a dwarven fortress, but the dwarves have been isolated and allegedly slaughtered thousands of years ago.

Without saying a word, the orc would leave the tent leaving a sigh of relief from the humans that are only getting paid $20 an hour to survive against orc attacks which frequent the area. One things for sure, He will be arriving to the jousting event in England.

Strength 5
Defence 3
Dexterity 1
Intelligence 1
Willpower 1
Luck 1



2.
Zurgug's Guinea pig, "The Destroyer," would be on his massive shoulders waiting his turn to participate in such an esteemed race of his life time. He was waiting for this moment.


3.
A human translator by the name of Marcus Varus, from the capital of Normis, would enter alongside him as his attaché. His IQ and intelligence was much higher than the orc, so he had to fix the poem that the orc terribly and proudly spoke in his orcish language to large crowds while journeying to England.

The fields burn with smokes of grey
With hammers and fists, we pushed through their lines
Yearning for the war to end one day

The translator would pause waiting for the orc to continue the poem, but he soon realized that was it. He spoke to the crowds and would say, "Well gentlemen and women that is all." The crowd would look at each other with confusion and dismay to the abrupt ending to the poem. Zurgug would instead smile revealing his teeth to the crowd until he saw a chicken and decided it would be best to chase it down. This resulted in the translator and Zurgug being detained in France for disorderly conduct.

[Dreamy]

For the Guinea pig competition:
His name is Obi wan Guinobi

[West Vin Dapongdommul]

Jousting

Sir Merlin Forath of Jortshire
The page gets up on the stage and announces the arrival of his master Sir Merlin, "Ladies and gentlemen, lords and ladies, it is my honor to introduce to you Sir Merlin Forath of Jortshire. A man of great courage and skill, he has come to compete in this jousting tournament and prove himself as one of the finest knights in all the land.

Sir Merlin has devoted his life to the art of chivalry and has trained tirelessly to hone his skills in combat. He has faced many challenges in his journey to become a knight, and his dedication to the code of honor and justice has always been unwavering.

With his shining armor and unwavering determination, Sir Merlin is a true embodiment of the spirit of knighthood. He is a man of integrity and valor, and his presence here today is a testament to his courage and skill.

As he prepares to take on his opponents in the jousting competition, I have no doubt that Sir Merlin will demonstrate the very best of what it means to be a knight. So please, join me in welcoming Sir Merlin Forath of Jortshire to the arena with a round of applause."

As Sir Merlin fills the forms he soon reaches the crucial area of entering what he thinks are his attributes and enters the following
Strength: 3
Defence: 3
Dexterity: 2
Intelligence: 1
Willpower: 2
Luck: 1

Guinea Pig Parade

Sir Cadence Pizzicato of Requiem

Best Bard
Jeoffrey the Bard
The Crunch of Defiance

Amidst the raiders' savage roar,
The crunch of crisps rang out once more,
As England and her allies stood their ground,
Their spirit unbroken, their courage unbound.

With every salty bite they took,
The crisps became a symbol of their look,
Defying the raiders' brutal course,
As they fought for freedom, with all their force.

Through the air, the sound of battle rang,
As crisps were crunched and swords did clang,
Their bond, unbreakable, in the face of war,
Defying the raiders, forever more.

And as the battle's end drew near,
The crunch of crisps rang loud and clear,
For England and her allies had won the fight,
Defeating the raiders, with all their might.

So let us remember, the power of the crunch,
As England and her allies held their hunch,
Defying the raiders, with every salty bite,
The crunch of defiance, forever in sight.

[The Holy Gamer Reich]

In the Holy Gamer Reich there exists neither guinea pig (we only have capybaras) nor poet, regardless, the Supreme Leader, His Holiness Kaiser Arbdidius Kanjuur shall enlist the nation into the fayre in the jousting competition.

We put forward our brave volunteer the young lad Apius Mellifera, a young swarm knight of the Order of the Sacred Honeybee who bravely served defending England against the what was thought to be unassailable enemy. During the many battles he showed great valour and virtue showing mercy to his foe and helping retrieve fallen comrades from the battlefield for healing. Though small and unassuming he seeks not combat for the sake of it but to defend his homeland and hive and the homes of his friends and allies.

Lover of all things sweet, as part of his order he learned the art of beekeeping and the use of honey in healing and cooking, and is renowned in the order for his honey-oat biscuits (cookies for us silly Americans) that carried both the protein and fiber of oat and the energy rich package of honey, a delectable treat for both home and long journeys.

Apius carries the banner and colors of his order, a black banner embroidered with a golden beehive surrounded by a wreath of equally golden flowers of many types. His order are the protectors of bees in the Holy Gamer Reich and venerate the Fearsome Queen of Bees, Apia, as their patron deity.

Strength 1
Defence 3
Dexterity 1
Intelligence 1
Willpower 4
Luck 2

[Based Raider Brexit]

3.

There once was a raider alliance
That griefed players who rhymed in defiance.
They got bogged down and lost
In the influence cost,
And then Libbed into UN compliance.

[The Ambis]

The delegation of The Ambis, and their puppet state, The British Boy hereby enters into the limerick tournament!

The once was an English-themed region
Which was raided by a large raider legion
They suppressed all our posts
And Started to Boast
Until we were saved by a defender allegion

[Based Raider Brexit]

1.

ESNN Breaking News Bulletin

The Eltran Sports News Network has received word from multiple sources that EFL linebacker Cletus Bowman will be flying abroad to the region of England to participate in a jousting tournament. In an exclusive interview with ESNN, Bowman, a five-year EFL veteran and three-year starter at strongside linebacker for the Eltran Lake Grey Wolves, revealed that he doesn't believe he is jeopardizing his position on the team.



"Did I ask for permission? No. There's a saying in international goodwill diplomacy, and it goes like this. Sometimes it's better to ask forgiveness than permission."

Cletus, who stands 6'4" and plays at somewhere around 240 pounds, is certainly a big, strong man. As a professional linebacker, he's an excellent athlete at his size. Nevertheless, Bowman believes that it's his horsemanship that could see him through to victory.

"My family has lived on the same ranch going back six generations," Cletus says. "My great-great grandparents, they worked the ranch. My great-grandparents, they worked the ranch. My grandparents, they owned the ranch."

Though this news might come as a shock to some, the sport of jousting may not be totally outside of Bowman's wheelhouse. In addition to making the all-conference team in football all four years during his college career, Cletus Bowman also starred on the rodeo team. As far as specific jousting experience, Cletus has none, but told us "I'm familiar with the basic concept. That is to say, I know which end to hold."

When asked if he thought he would face any consequences at all in his professional football career based on this decision, Bowman responded: "well, if I die, I betcha they'll void my contract."

Strength 4
Defence 1
Dexterity 3
Intelligence 2
Willpower 1
Luck 1

(EDIT: Megagaming. Please don't kill my character, I have plans for him in future dispatches on my main nation. If he loses he loses, the will of RNJesus be done. Just...unhorse him in a uniquely embarrassing fashion. If you must. Or let him win, that would be fun!)

[South Cotswold and Mendip]

Baldric the Grey



Baldric the Grey is old. He's so old, history wasn't a subject when he went to school. He's been a soldier all his life serving at least 6 monarchs over the centuries and although he has fought with great gallantry and zeal in countless wars, he has never been able to reach the lofty heights of being a Knight. This is in part due to being the 8th Son of an 8th Son which hasn't left him with much of the share of his family's wealth. So when all of his family tragically died whilst enjoying a picnic on a hill in a thunderstorm, an opportunity presented itself. Finally he had a chance. Using the inheritance to buy the best weapons and armour in the land, he would enter a competition. A competition to become what he has so long sought to become.

1 Strength 0
2 Defence 6
3 Dexterity 0
4 Intelligence 0
5 Willpower 6
6 Luck 0


Barry the bank robber



He's a vicious sneak thief. Try to keep him in the cage.

[Povragen]

"Time to abandon ship"

[Velichiye]

1.
To the joust, enters Sir Clumsi Dizzi

Sir Clumsi Dizzi is a lean skittish short fellow with a eye for competition, and an appreciation for art. He's known for his skills, in swinging and dance, but none can compare to his tripping pains.

As polished his armour can be, his mind is not. Though skilled with the lance, sword, and quick on his feet, his wits are as sharp as a dull blade. One swing and he falls, as occasionally as he takes care of the horses in the stables. One look at him and the people thinks, "How could this man be so dull yet happy?"

Despite the struggles, he never gives up as he strives to be the best knight his land has ever had. So holding his head high with a smile, he enters the joust with clumsy feet.

Strength 2
Defense 1
Dexterity 3
Intelligence 1
Willpower 4
Luck 1

2.
Sir Jolly is a Guinea Pig as cheerful as his owner, such as Sir Clumsi Dizzi himself. Sitting on top of his owner's head, Sir Jolly lays on his belly and cheers on.


3.
Sir Clumsi Dizzi grabs a lute and sits down on the crate, looking at the audience he garnered before clearing his throat to sing a limerick:

As the invasion struck, and arrived a storm
Of Raiders wielding axes and sword
To the soils of England, they ravaged and spread
To the wider range of land and sea

But, then arrived a light
Shining down on field of green
A man comes on ships with the sign of Eagle
Filled to brims with men of all sizes

The raiders prepared as the ships stopped
On the soils, the liberators marched
There, they meet eye to eye
Before charging with steel in hand

[Fort Concord]

[OOC]

Very nice thread, Suth. It's great to see you guys having fun and a pretty strong handful of LDF members participating here with yuo as well. I'll see about taking part later. Enjoy!

[Neopo Ang]

[Rhanukhan]

Representing the Unified Provinces of Rhanukhan in the joust...

Lauren Eruhan

Striding confidently up to the desk, Lauren Eruhan flashes a dazzling smile at the panel and spears an entry form with the blade of her trusty messer. Her vivid and variegated hair certainly turns a few heads as she swaggers blithely over to the slowest member of the crowd, hooks an arm around his neck in a chokehold and whispers something in his ear that doesn't carry beyond the two of them. His eyes widen in obvious fear and he stands still as she presses the form against his back and begins to write.

Employed as a teacher and demonstrator of combat techniques across various eras by the Palace Armouries in Rhanukhan Kaglakh (the nation's most prestigious museum of military technology through the ages), Lauren has long sought to try her hand in a genuine display of her skills, rather than the choreographed performances she engages in with her colleagues.

She may not be as physically imposing as some of the other entrants, but she is confident that her innate nimbleness and guile will more than compensate - she has humiliated larger opponents enough times in the past to be certain of that. She smirks at the memories of a recent victory while filling in the final part of the form...

Strength: 1
Defence: 1
Dexterity: 3
Intelligence: 2
Willpower: 4
Luck: 1

[Obrimenja First Infantry]

In celebration of the victory, the soldiers of Obrimenja First Infantry wish to join the fun!

1. The Jousting tournament.

1st Lieutenant William Cooper will be the entry for the jousting competition. One of the few soldiers knowledgeable in the subject, William has always adored English tradition. He is known to be both strong and smart and hopes that he can bring pride to his division.

Strength 3
Defense 2
Dexterity 1
Intelligence 3
Willpower 2
Luck 1

2. The guinea pig parade.

The soldiers looked long an hard to find a guinea pig to enter, and finally came across a pet guinea pig that shared the soldiers' love for fitness.



3. The Limerick Competition
"Post-victory fun"

The raider invaders we did contest.
Never banned, we are the best.
Now it's time to have fun
these games have begun,
then we'll have our well-deserved rest.

[Alf Landon]

*Alf Landon enters with popcorn*

[Suth Seaxe]

A messenger from Suth Seaxe arrives

"Hear ye, hear ye! The last few hours to enter the Liberation Fayre is upon us!

What brave soul will join the joust? What poetry have we yet to hear? And what brave guinea pig is still to be entered?"

The messenger quickly moves on, his cries fading into the rest of the marketplace hubbub.

[Suth Seaxe]

As night falls, the marketplace hubbub dies down and all you cab hear is the sound of merry making within in the inns.

The only other noise is the sound of the Liberation Fayre signup tent being dismantled.

"No more entries" says the cryer.

You see across the green a large amount of building work. The jousting arena is being built. The sound of carpenters begins to replace the noise of the taverns.

Tomorrow, the joust begins.

Which of the 11 riders will be victorious?

[Suth Seaxe]

You stumble out of an inn, rather bleary eyed and looking for these famous English curry houses you've heard of.

You can hear the carpenters still hard at work building the platforms. The early morning sun is rising. A small market has appeared, full of traders ready to sell merchandise for the Joust and the Fayre.

Some excited children run past, dropping a pack of cards. Intruiged, you pick them up. Some enterprising merchant has printed trading cards from the Joust. He must have worked overnight.

You open the deck and look through. The children are excitedly playing with these cards. Perhaps the merchants ratings will help you pick a jouster to bet on? Insider information! You run down to the bookies after returning the cards to the children.

These ratings are final judged on the picture attached and RP and will be used for the compeition

https://www.nationstates.net/nation=sut ... id=1859937

[Suth Seaxe]

The Results of the Joust are in!

They are posted through your door, and in excitement you read the Newspaper as you see if your bet was correct.

https://www.nationstates.net/nation=sut ... id=1860388

[Suth Seaxe]

The results of the Guinea Pig competition are in!

All of the Guinea pigs were personally inspected by the young 6 year old Princess of Suth Seaxe, and the top medallists are as follows:

Gold medal:
Obrimenja First Infantry


Silver medal:
Suth Seaxe


Bronze medal:
Masternia


Well done to all of our entrants!

[Suth Seaxe]

The Winners of Englands Best Bard!

Cimon Sowell makes his way to the stage, you've clearly had far too much to drink. The famous judge brings out the final 3 entrants after you sit through all of the bards songs.

But who will get the golden ticket and a prestigious record contract?

The three finalists are:

Zurzug the Destroyer.Masternia (Perhaps Cimon Sowell was far too worried to disqualify the brutal Orc?)

The fields burn with smokes of grey
With hammers and fists, we pushed through their lines
Yearning for the war to end one day

Jeoffrey the Bard West Vin Dapongdommul


Amidst the raiders' savage roar,
The crunch of crisps rang out once more,
As England and her allies stood their ground,
Their spirit unbroken, their courage unbound.

With every salty bite they took,
The crisps became a symbol of their look,
Defying the raiders' brutal course,
As they fought for freedom, with all their force.

Through the air, the sound of battle rang,
As crisps were crunched and swords did clang,
Their bond, unbreakable, in the face of war,
Defying the raiders, forever more.

And as the battle's end drew near,
The crunch of crisps rang loud and clear,
For England and her allies had won the fight,
Defeating the raiders, with all their might.

So let us remember, the power of the crunch,
As England and her allies held their hunch,
Defying the raiders, with every salty bite,
The crunch of defiance, forever in sight.

Sir Clumsi Dizzi, Velichiye


As the invasion struck, and arrived a storm
Of Raiders wielding axes and sword
To the soils of England, they ravaged and spread
To the wider range of land and sea

But, then arrived a light
Shining down on field of green
A man comes on ships with the sign of Eagle
Filled to brims with men of all sizes

The raiders prepared as the ships stopped
On the soils, the liberators marched
There, they meet eye to eye
Before charging with steel in hand

But there can only be one winner.

Cimon Sowell lifts the hands of none other than Jeoffrey the Bard West Vin Dapongdommul!

The crowd goes wild! Zurzug the Destroyer walks off, and through a door on the way taking it off its hinges. At least the local curry house smells good to his Orcish nose. The party goes on deep into the night.

The joust has a new champion, the Guinea pigs are taken home after feasting on dandelion leaves and England has a new tune to sing to. All is well in newly Liberated England!

You hope your head isn't too sore in the morning....