Volod Asset Markets
Building Tomorrow With The Hands Of The Unwilling!
Since the first degenerate man forced another to work for him, we have been there. We have always been here. We at Volod believe that no man (Or woman!) is born with unalienable rights or privileges, to live is to suffer! To suffer is to live! As such no man is above being an asset - a slave, a tool for the powerful. Slaves have proved important throughout the history of life, from building great wonders to building economies. Here, today, we of Volod offer you our catalog of assets and human cattle!
Our cutting-edge process allows us to take in the most valuable resources – our beloved slaves – and transform them into lobotomized labor machines! Our meticulously developed process allows us to upgrade slaves and maximize their capabilities to yield tremendous profit for their owners! By removing unneeded organs, parts, and intelligence - and replacing them with mechanics, we can turn your unruly slave into a perfect labor machine! Nothing is worse than having to discipline your slaves, punishments are so last century - now you can lobotomize your unwilling assets and double their outputs - if not triple outputs! All without having to dirty your hands! Our lobotomized assets require less nutrients, no entertainment, no play, and no socialization! So it's super easy to work them until their deaths!
While we carry a massive stock of our own assets, we also offer services to turn your slaves into our lobotomized assets for a small price! By removing one or both arms we can add specialized tools for everything from welding to general construction. Our lobotomization leaves just enough intelligence to allow you to train your assets, and if they occasionally act up with "free will" or self-awareness (or screaming and crying), bring them in for a free check-up!Are you ready to experience the revolutionized and renewed concept of slave-trading? Make the most out of our state-of-the-art approach today, and seize the opportunity to secure high returns from these assets! Join us in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and be a part of the universe's leading slave market!
Type | Cost |
Volod Base Slave | $5,000 Each |
Volod Construction Slave | $7,500 |
Volod Mule Slave | $10,000 |
Volod Skilled Slave | $10,000 |
Volod Tool Slave | $20,000 |
Volod Solider Slave | $25,000 |
Volod Slave Upgrade | +$5,000 to base price of above |
- A Basic Volod Slave is a highly efficient manual laborer, from moving heavy loads, basic work, and simple tasks. Good for unwanted manual labor jobs!
The Construction Slave is equipped with mechanical arms and legs, and have built-in basic tools like hammers, wrenches, crowbars, nailguns, welders etc. They are excellent for large construction projects!
Tool Slaves allow you to add your own tools to your slave, and are highly customizable! Each limb can be replaced or removed, allowing you to create a wide variety of assets, from farmers to living machines!
Volod Mule Slaves take the humanoid form and twist and contort it into a bipedal cyborg! They are excellent for moving or pulling heavy goods while maintaining a smaller profile and less maintenance than most pack animals!
Skilled Slaves retains some degree of higher learning capabilities and are good for cooking, cleaning, and higher forms of manual labor such as wood working, precise welding, and basic engineering.
A Volod Solider, like the skilled slave, has higher learning capabilities and has much higher endurance than other slaves. Their skin has been replaced with dermal armor to help protect against against shrapnel, stabbings, and light 21st century small arms fire. All of their limbs are mechanical. A remote unit allows you to increase their pain by directly shocking the nervous system, as well as remotely kill each asset as needed. Good for increasing military body count, carrying equipment, or as suicide bombs!
Our Slave Upgrade services require you to supply us with your slaves - we will lobotomize, upgrade, and send them back! You can choose what kind of slave you would like them to become, Basic, Construction, Tool, Skilled, or Solider.
Order Form
Each order must contain the following:
- Amount of each type of slave requested
- Total of your order
- Sender Address
- Delivery Location
Failure to include the above minimal will result in your order being denied or ignored, you have been warned!
We reserve the right to deny any order. Limit of 10,000 of each slave. Slaves delivered via standard 20 ft (6m) / 40 ft (12m) shipping containers. Deliveries only made at night via spatial warping.
Warning: Spatial Warping may displace matter, make sure delivery area is clear! Displaced Matter will NOT be refunded.
We reserve the right to deny any order. Limit of 10,000 of each slave. Slaves delivered via standard 20 ft (6m) / 40 ft (12m) shipping containers. Deliveries only made at night via spatial warping.
Warning: Spatial Warping may displace matter, make sure delivery area is clear! Displaced Matter will NOT be refunded.
Q&A