Acknowledging that Pontbridge’s national motto, “An island in a sea of oppression,” is indeed true, but shockingly, the aforementioned oppression is created by their very people in the puppet states of Cashdeer, Cutote, and Gynostan,
Enraged by Cashdeer, a soulless economic factory, where ignorant, apathetic Cashdeers work their short, meaningless lives away in hopes of pleasing CEO Moneybags, an illusory figurehead manufactured by Pontbridge’s treasury,
Abhorring the unsafe working conditions within Cashdeer, where vehicles carrying small children are simultaneously armed to the teeth with nuclear weapons, shrapnel bombs, and orbital lasers, leading to inevitably high crime rates,
Terrified by the need to be stoned in Cashdeer, as indicated by the highest recreational drug use rate in the world, a necessary consequence since the majority of citizens face a constant risk of being stoned to death, smashed, or disappeared before they can celebrate their 14th birthday,
Scarred by the absolute, world-beating rudeness faced by researchers for this proposal, whose mothers were called fatter than even the people of Cashdeer, the most obese in the multiverse due to thriving beverage, pizza, and retail industries,
Realizing that Cashdeer is not some exception or puppet state gone awry, as the nation of Cutote exhibits nearly the same, if not higher, levels of corruption, obesity, and political apathy,
Alarmed by the underhanded tactics used by Cutote, which has manipulated the way disposable income is calculated by enriching the wealthy so much that their disposable income completely cancels out the rampant poverty, and that this has also earned them the title of “Most Corrupt Nation in the Multiverse”,
Frightened by the land known as Gynostan, a psychotic ultra-matriarchy where men are severely oppressed in a grim, extreme role-reversal that may exist solely to please the feminists of Pontbridge,
Seeing directly through Gynostan’s top ranked foreign aid spending, which is almost certainly funneled straight into Pontbridge’s coffers,
Shocked by the relentless use of government propaganda to control the citizens of Gynostan, instilling complacency in the men and fanaticism in the women by worship of a certain unnamed goddess, as well as the nation's leader Stalarina herself,
Frustrated by the extreme, second best levels of compliance and patriotism in Gynostan, enforced by some of the largest army and police forces in the multiverse, andost in the egregious red tape perpetuated its government, the second largest in the world as a result of a nearly unheard of 129% tax rate,
Saddened by the complete lack of care the citizens of Cashdeer, Cutote, and Gynostan are given by their Pontbridge-puppet-controlled governments, being so downtrodden that when asked for comment on their situation only apathetic sighs were given,
Sympathetic towards World Census agents, who take frequent firsthand accounts on the horrors within these nations despite the trauma, danger, and immorality they must encounter solely for the purpose of improving Pontbridge's reputation,
The Security Council condemns [nation=Pontbridge].
Co-Authored by The Ice States and Second Best Card Collector
