[INSPIRATION] The 2021 film on Netflix known as "Don't Look Up"
[TITLE] Don't Look Down
[DESCRIPTION] Two self-proclaimed "well-renowned seismologists" have entered your office claiming they have found evidence of an upcoming 4.3 magnitude earthquake in a nearby ocean caused by @@NAME@@'s constant WMD testing. While this normally wouldn't be an issue for you, the tectonic plates happen to meet right over a submerged supervolcano, capable of causing an apocalyptic eruption.
[VALIDITY] Nations with WMDs
[OPTION 1] "We have to do something, or we'll all going to die!" says one of the seismologists, @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, as she slams her fist on your desk so hard it shatters your glass of water on the other end. "Every single country on this planet will be affected or even destroyed! And you wanna know why? YOUR nukes! Any day now, one of them will cause an earthquake, setting off the supervolcano and destroying us all! Just look down, you can SEE the ground beginning to shake! You need to scrap ALL of @@NAME@@'s weapons of mass destruction, or we're all doomed. DOOOOOOMED!"
[EFFECT] volcano preparation steps include launching nukes at the sun
[OPTION 2] "Now hold on a minute," says the other seismologist, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, sitting directly on top of the shattered pieces of sharp glass. "That wasn't part of our plan. I apologize, @@LEADER@@, my partner in crim- I mean, uhh, SCIENCE, has uh, misspoken. What really needs to happen isn't so drastic. Just cut back on military spending. If you don't want to destroy the planet, just stop spending money on its destruction!"
[EFFECT] top military officials live in fear of scientists who wet the bed
[OPTION 3] One of the top-ranking officials in the military, @@RANDOMNAME@@ walks in. "Git these lame-brains outta here!" @@HE@@ says, as @@HE@@ sticks a note saying "KICK ME" onto the back of one of the seismologists. "Seismology, shmeismology, they don't know what they talkin' about! No birth...cake... no, EARTHcake, is gonna hit that soup... err, what do ya call it, vol-cane-o! Don't do nothin'! I ain't lookin' down and the ground ain't shakin'! DON'T LOOK DOWN! DON'T LOOK DOWN! DON'T LOOK DOWN!"
[EFFECT] seeing a natural disaster is a felony
[OPTION 4] "Let the scientists cook," says your campaign advisor, Walker Write, who currently appears to be under the influence. "We can manipulate this in our favor for the upcoming election. While we're out there breaking bad news to the world that a volcanic eruption is going to destroy us all, you can save the day with some "miraculous" stunt. Doesn't even have to actually stop the volcano as long as it wins us the election. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a perfectly good pizza on my roof and it's getting cold."
[OPTION VALIDITY] free elections
[EFFECT] "Super-@@LEADER@@" is a bestselling comic book franchise
[OPTION 5] "I have an idea. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Just kidding, you aren't. You're not thinking that at all," jokes Narc Suckerbird, CEO of Knowing What You Think, Inc., as he pours himself a glass of what at first glance appears to be blood but turns out to somehow be lemon-lime soda. "There's money to be had here. My informants have informed me with information that this earthquake will open up a plethora of previously inaccessible deep cave systems, allowing for the mass-harvesting of extremely rare and valuable materials such as @@ANIMAL@@-stone and gold. We'll be RICH! As for the volcano, we'll take care of it. All you have to do is sign this 391-page contract. Don't bother reading it, I'm sure you have more important things to do."
[OPTION VALIDITY] capitalism
[EFFECT] video games classify earthquakes as a "mine and craft" tool
[REFERENCES] The title is based on "Don't Look Up", Option 1 is a reference to Kate Dibiasky's outburst in "Don't Look Up", Option 3 is a reference to the anti-comet theorists in "Don't Look Up", Option 4 is a "Breaking Bad" reference and is based on how in "Don't Look Up" the President is more worried about the midterm elections than impending doom, Option 5 is a reference to how Peter Isherwell in "Don't Look Up" planned to break down the comet to retrieve the rare materials inside, "CEO of Knowing What You Think, Inc." is a reference to Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg from Epic Rap Battles of History, Narc Suckerbird is a soundalike for Mark Zuckerberg, the effect for Option 5 is a reference to Minecraft.