[Accepted] Fowl Play

[West Barack and East Obama]

This is my first issue in a hot minute, so it might a bit rough, suggestions on how to improve the third option in particular are much appreciated.

[title] Fowl Play

[validity] low animal welfare laws

[desc] During a controversial cockfighting match in downtown @@CAPITAL@@ last night, a massive brawl was started between two rival gangs, causing the deaths of ten people. As a result, a heated debate has been sparked about the legality of blood sports such as cockfighting, dogfighting and bullfighting.

[option] "We have to put an end to this madness." sighs hardened Police Constable @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, @@HIS_1@@ face sporting a thousand yard stare. "These animal fighting matches are organised and spectated mostly by gangsters and illegal syndicates, so they're hotspots for all sorts of criminal activities from pickpocketing to drug dealing. We need to enforce strict regulations for these matches, such as stewards, metal detectors, all-seater arenas, and ensuring everyone is at least 50 metres from the fighting so they don't get too riled up."

[effect] binoculars sales are at an all-time high

[option] "Simply restricting these barbaric activities is not enough." wails @@RANDOMNAME_2@@, head of the @@CAPITAL@@ chapter of the Animal Safety Society. "These poor babies are bred and raised just to be vicious fighting machines. They're kept in inhumane, crowded cages until it's time to lead them out to their death. We inflict all this trauma on them, and for what? Self gratification? We need to banish all these cruel sports from our civilised country and free all these captive animals at once."

[effect] small children are frequently chased by free-roaming pitbulls

[option] "Oh, come on. I didn't come here to get hen-pecked by you wusses." scoffs cockfighting kingpin @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ strokes @@HIS@@ prized cock. "Blood sports are an integral part of @@CAPITAL@@ culture. Sure, things might get a little heated at times, but we've handled things fine for hundreds of years! If anything, you should be promoting these sports. Tourists pay top dollar to catch these legendary battles here, and you could get a share of the dosh if we decide to pay taxes. It's a win for all of us!"

[effect] if you want to make an omelette you have to break a few legs

[option] "As always, there's a simple compromise!" exclaims your Minister of Creative Solutions from under your desk, as he unplugs your computer to connect a gaming console. "Check it out - Matador Manager! If we promote these ultra violent video games to the populace, then we can save animals from being attacked in the real world and stop crime from being committed at physical events, all the while ensuring we don't lose a part of our culture! Now watch this!" He presses a button on his controller, causing pixelated blood to splatter all over your monitor.

[validity] allows video games, decent tech level

[effect] old folks yearn for the days when young people saw bloodthirsty death matches with their own eyes instead of through a screen

[title] Fowl Play

[description] There has been a surge in underground cockfighting matches across @@NAME@@, with fight promoters and bookies earning bucketfuls of @@CURRENCY@@ every match.

[validity] adult?

[option] "It's barbaric!" growls perpetually angry animal rights activist @@RANDOMNAME_1@@. "Forcing animals to be injured or even killed in fights is simply disgusting. Crack down on these brutal fights and free all of those poor animals at once!"

[effect] children are warned to stay off the streets whenever a pit bull fighting ring is busted

[option] "Hold on, there's no need to grab the bull by the horns on this matter!" says macho matador @@RANDOMNAME_2@. "Sure, we can ban the more... uncivilised sports, but bullfighting has been a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ tradition for decades! In fact, you should promote bullfighting so that everyone can realise what a real sport by real sportsmen looks like!" @@HE_2@@ obnoxiously flexes @@HIS@@ muscles in your general direction.

[effect] animal rights activists aren't the only ones seeing red

[option] "What a load of bull." scoffs fighting kingpin @@RANDOMNAME_3@@ as @@HE_3@@ strokes @@HIS_3@@ prized cock. "Everything is fine and no one's getting hurt. I'm making money, and maybe you could get a share if you keep us in business. Capiche?"

[effect] you have to break a few legs to make an omelette

[Cataleenia]

Option 2 either needs all of the ‘He’s and ‘his’ changed into @@HE@@ or @@HIS@@ or change @@RANDOMNAME_2@@ to @@RANDOMMALENAME_2@@ or similar

Also, unrelated but, you need to update your issues dispatch

[West Barack and East Obama]

Option 2 either needs all of the ‘He’s and ‘his’ changed into @@HE@@ or @@HIS@@ or change @@RANDOMNAME_2@@ to @@RANDOMMALENAME_2@@ or similar

Also, unrelated but, you need to update your issues dispatch

Fixed. On both accounts

[Australian rePublic]

Wouldn't the person in option 3 advocate for both sports?

[West Barack and East Obama]

Bump

[West Barack and East Obama]

bomp

[Sedgistan]

This issue is weak. It's riding on a good concept and one funny line (stroking his prized cock), but the rest of the writing is poor, and not up to your usual standards.

You've got some unimaginative characters - the outraged animal rights activist and corrupt gambling boss are the worst offenders. There's no real thought of the trade-offs or other angles to this - there's more than just gambling. Option 2 tries to add a bit more, but doesn't feel like it fits very well, shoving a totally different sport into the narrative so early on. What about the cultural considerations? What else will people do for entertainment? What happens to the animals if you ban the sport? Would this issue (or some of its options) be different for vegetarian nations? Does animal fighting draw in tourists? Are there risks to it, like injuries to spectators? Could cock-fighting be toned down so no people/arnimals were harmed, maybe though taking the spurs off, and something silly like fitting them with foam body armour?

Above all, this issue is missing a "hen-pecked" pun.

[Verdant Haven]

- Hmm, I feel like this either needs some kind of validity check, or else a little more explanation for why there's a sudden surge in a fairly obscure (in modern times) activity. The fact that it apparently has to be underground suggests that either gambling is relatively restricted, or there's extensive focus on animal welfare. Based on the options, it seems like animal welfare laws are the absent party and the gambling isn't really referenced – that would suggest it has to take place in a nation where gambling is very much allowed.

- The issue is about cockfighting, but then goes on to spend significant effort on dogfighting and bullfighting. It might be useful to have the description reference animal fighting somewhat more broadly, to set the stage for the choices that follow.

- The first speaker could do with a bit of context for why they feel these fights are so bad. Players may not be familiar with the details of cockfighting (or other types for that matter), and might not know about things like selectively breeding for aggression, use of metal blades, and the frequency of fatalities. Having the speaker mention those kinds of things would both support their argument and fill in the player at the same time.

- Is there a way to make effect line 1 a little snappier? The idea makes sense – just want it to flow smoothly.

- For option 2 there are just a couple wording alterations that might be worth playing with. We specifically don't include animal fighting under the umbrella of the "No Sports" policy, so we'll want to make sure we don't create the impression that that's what's on the table here (ie, be cautious with the use of the term "sport" or "sports"). Nothing wrong with it otherwise – just a technical nitpick due to that policy. I would also suggest citing bullfighting as part of some specific subset of the nation's tradition/culture, rather than making a claim about the entirety of the nation, which some players might feel strongly about. This choice is asking you to help it become widespread, which suggests that it isn't already.

- The third speaker's argument is a little weak – "everything is fine" (what does that even mean?) "and no one's getting hurt" (we're being told there are animals dying – might want to specify no "humans" getting hurt). What action is the speaker requesting that will keep them in business?

- I love the choice of wordplay in effect 3 – top notch. I usually hear it as "you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs" but if yours is the syntax you prefer, I think it probably works. Brilliant pun either way.

[West Barack and East Obama]

Thanks for the feedback guys - I've pretty much overhauled the entire draft. Couldn't really think of how to portray the animal rights character any better, so if anyone has a suggestion for that it would be great

[West Barack and East Obama]

Bump!

[Australian rePublic]

Wouldn't the person in option 3 advocate for both sports?

[West Barack and East Obama]

Wouldn't the person in option 3 advocate for both sports?

Now that option 2 has changed this comment is no longer applicable

[West Barack and East Obama]

Bump!

[West Barack and East Obama]

I am thinking about submitting this soon

[Verdant Haven]

It does look like it's in pretty good shape for submission.

The only thing I can suggest is perhaps to have the first option make a little clearer why these matches in particular are a problem (as opposed to something like an @@ANIMAL@@ball game). Since it is evidently perfectly legal to hold these events, we can't just assume that they're automatically underground or gang-controlled. Doesn't need much – just a few words here or there from the speaker, speculating about the cause, so we can understand why the precautions suggested might work.

[West Barack and East Obama]

It does look like it's in pretty good shape for submission.

The only thing I can suggest is perhaps to have the first option make a little clearer why these matches in particular are a problem (as opposed to something like an @@ANIMAL@@ball game). Since it is evidently perfectly legal to hold these events, we can't just assume that they're automatically underground or gang-controlled. Doesn't need much – just a few words here or there from the speaker, speculating about the cause, so we can understand why the precautions suggested might work.

Thanks VH :D

I have made some edits with regards to your suggestion, how does it look now?