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[DRAFT] From Those Before Us

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Hetvynia
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 3
Founded: Oct 05, 2022
Ex-Nation

[DRAFT] From Those Before Us

Postby Hetvynia » Wed Oct 05, 2022 4:58 pm

This is my very first attempt at making an issue so any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. I am not 100% certain of all the intricacies that NationStates has to offer so all of the stat changes are purely suggestive. Also I'll need checking on what validity statuses apply for the issue since once again I'm not 100% sure. I'm fully aware that my issue may be a bit long so if any of the options seem irrelevant, please point it out. Thank you!


EDIT 1: Made minor changes, fixed up the formatting a bit and removed the stat changes. (Best leave it to those who know better)


[TITLE]
From Those Before Us

[DESCRIPTION]
Civil workers stumbled upon a strange artifact buried under the capitol square during an expansion of the underground utility services. The device appears to be centuries old and is unlike any form of technology in the modern era. What is known about it, is its capability of producing immense amounts of energy. It now sits in a government facility waiting for its untapped potential to be used. Your advisors gather as you consider your options.
[VALIDITY]
Nation must have the required Scientific Advancement to have extensive underground utilities. (Subject to change, might find another reason as to why they're excavating.)

[OPTION1]
“It belongs in a museum!” proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Culture and Arts. “We must preserve this monumental discovery for the masses to see, who knows what ancient civilisation may have left behind such a relic. It may even be from our past - undocumented and now rediscovered. I’d rather have it in a glass case than let those sleazy lab rats get their grubby mitts on it.”
[EFFECT]
Tourists from around the globe flock to gawk at the bizarre mechanism.

[OPTION2]
@@RANDOMNAME@@ scoffs at the remarks. The Administrator of Research and Innovation pushes up their glasses. “This contraption’s complexity far surpasses our current understanding of technology. If we were to take it apart and study it thoroughly we could greatly bolster our technological standing, putting @@NAME@@ on the world map for sure! Given enough time and money, that is.”
[EFFECT]
Technology advances at a steady and definite pace as the mechanism is poked and prodded.

[OPTION3]
The Minister for the Department of Energy, @@RANDOMNAME@@ steps forward. “I am certain you already know what I have to say. Given the right precautionary measures and initial funding we can harness the power of this machine and supply our cities with energy for an indefinite amount of time. Say goodbye to noisy wind farms and pricey nuclear plants.”
[EFFECT]
Government spending on Industry hits an all-time low as Industrial Output skyrockets.

[OPTION4]
“THAT INSTRUMENT IS A REMNANT FROM THE HEAVENS AND WE MUSN’T TAMPER WITH OTHERWORLDLY AFFAIRS. PUT IT BACK LEST WE SUFFER A MOST GRUESOME FATE.” cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, a religious community leader as they are escorted out by security.
[EFFECT]
Plant life in the area ceases to grow once the object is placed back in the hole.
[VALIDITY]
Nation must have religious freedom.

[OPTION5]
@@RANDOMNAME@@, the Minister of Defense smiles from ear to ear. “Opportunities present themselves in the most curious ways.”
[EFFECT]
Neighboring nations begin to invest in bunkers, citizens of @@NAME@@ wonder if they should do the same.
Last edited by Hetvynia on Wed Oct 05, 2022 6:01 pm, edited 8 times in total.

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Tinhampton
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Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Tinhampton » Wed Oct 05, 2022 5:04 pm

Stats suggestions in issues have not been recommended for a number of years.

I feel as though this issue would be appropriate for all nations.

Every option must have one effect line, not two.

Macros have two @ signs, not one, on either side.

Why is the Minister of Defence so cryptic? It is not as though he is attending a public meeting where details about future plans must be carefully guarded.
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North Macaronesa
Envoy
 
Posts: 247
Founded: Sep 06, 2022
Ex-Nation

Postby North Macaronesa » Wed Oct 05, 2022 5:14 pm

The option answers are supposed to be more quirky, according to the issues I've received already. So maybe for the first one, it could be something like Coins found in the sidewalk are displayed at @@CAPITAL@@'s Museum of History or something like that. You get the gist.
Hetvynia wrote:Civil workers stumble upon a strange artifact buried under the capitol square during an expansion of the underground utility services.

I think it should be past tense as if it already happened and they're approaching you to see what should be done. So stumble would be stumbled. Also what about nations that don't have underground utility services? Maybe set a validity so that only nations with the required Scientific Advancement can get it.
Hetvynia wrote:“It belongs in a museum!” proclaims @RANDOM_NAME@, your Minister of Culture and Arts.

I don't think it needs an underscore, and it needs two @'s. So it would be @@RANDOMNAME@@.
Hetvynia wrote:Tourists from around the globe flock to gawk at the bizarre mechanism. (++Tourism +Culture)
Malicious foreign entities take note of your publicly displayed wonder-weapon. (--Safety)

Why are there two effect lines?
Hetvynia wrote:Government spending on Industry hits an all time low. As Industrial output skyrockets. (+Economy +Economic Output)
Citizens wonder why their children aren’t growing hair. (-Lifespan --Health)

Do you mean Government spending on industry hits an all-time low as industrial output skyrockets?
Hetvynia wrote:“THAT INSTRUMENT IS A REMNANT FROM THE HEAVENS AND WE MUSN’T TAMPER WITH OTHERWORLDLY AFFAIRS. PUT IT BACK LEST WE SUFFER A MOST GRUESOME FATE.” cries @RANDOM_NAME@, a religious community leader as they are escorted out by security.

Maybe make some Violet reference? So it could be cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous outspoken Violetist leader as they are escorted out by security. Also you might want to put validity on this as well so nations who don't have religious freedom don't get this option.
Hetvynia wrote:Religious fanatics rest easy. (-Crime)

Why?
Last edited by North Macaronesa on Wed Oct 05, 2022 5:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Outer Sparta
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Founded: Dec 26, 2014
Democratic Socialists

Postby Outer Sparta » Wed Oct 05, 2022 5:44 pm

I recall there is already an issue of similar premise about a strange artifact being discovered. Not sure the exact number, though.
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Hetvynia
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 3
Founded: Oct 05, 2022
Ex-Nation

Postby Hetvynia » Wed Oct 05, 2022 5:50 pm

North Macaronesa wrote:I think it should be past tense as if it already happened and they're approaching you to see what should be done. So stumble would be stumbled. Also what about nations that don't have underground utility services? Maybe set a validity so that only nations with the required Scientific Advancement can get it.

Yeah I can understand that, might think of something that applies to all nations.

North Macaronesa wrote:I don't think it needs an underscore, and it needs two @'s. So it would be @@RANDOMNAME@@.

Whoops, my bad. Must have skimmed past the formatting too quick.

North Macaronesa wrote:Why are there two effect lines?

I changed them down to one or merged it into one longer effect line.

North Macaronesa wrote:Do you mean Government spending on industry hits an all-time low as industrial output skyrockets?

Yeah I'm not sure why I put that period there. Thanks for pointing it out

North Macaronesa wrote:Why?

I figured the fanatics would be quite unhappy if it were still to be used. But I got rid of it.

Thank you so much for your feedback.
Last edited by Hetvynia on Wed Oct 05, 2022 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Hetvynia
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Founded: Oct 05, 2022
Ex-Nation

Postby Hetvynia » Wed Oct 05, 2022 5:53 pm

Tinhampton wrote:Stats suggestions in issues have not been recommended for a number of years.

I feel as though this issue would be appropriate for all nations.

Every option must have one effect line, not two.

Macros have two @ signs, not one, on either side.

Why is the Minister of Defence so cryptic? It is not as though he is attending a public meeting where details about future plans must be carefully guarded.


Yep, addressed about everything there. Also I thought it would be obvious as to why the Minister of Defense would want a high powered device, just for laughs. Maybe I should make it more clear?

Thanks for replying btw

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Australian rePublic
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Australian rePublic » Wed Oct 05, 2022 7:46 pm

Too unrealistic for issues. Sorry
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Pennyslov
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Ex-Nation

Postby Pennyslov » Wed Oct 05, 2022 8:00 pm

Read https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=424657&hilit=Got+Issues+FAQ+%26+How+To+Write+An+Issue First. If You Don't Read The Guide Then Your Issue Will Be Rejected.
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North Macaronesa
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Founded: Sep 06, 2022
Ex-Nation

Postby North Macaronesa » Thu Oct 06, 2022 12:23 pm

I think it just needs some polishing and more quirky effect lines. For the first one, it could be like Coins found on sidewalks are displayed at @@CAPITAL@@'s Museum of History. The second one could be @@DENONYM@@ scientists often invade homes to study lightbulbs, etc.
Welcome to North Macaronesia! | She/Her | NS stats are not canon

The Macaronesian Times | Record snowfall on Telde causes worry for Tenerife farmers as temperatures increase | New Progressive Party calls for end of conversion therapy in North Macaronesia | Two die in Highway TR-1 landslide, critics call out highway system as "poorly designed", call for US-Interstate-style system

Overview
| Issue Draft


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