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[PASSED] Commend Kringalia

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Lile Ulie Islands
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[PASSED] Commend Kringalia

Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Wed Aug 24, 2022 5:54 pm

MAKE SURE TO GO AND VOTE!





LAST CALL: make sure to relay the last of your feedback as this draft is on last call.

NEW: Hi! After some further consultation with Quebecshire, we've revised the draft a bit. I encourage you to take a look at it, and as always, feedback and comments are encouraged!


With the much appreciated editing, and co-authoring help of Concrete Slab, I present to you Commend Kringalia. For those who are unsure of who Kringalia is, I'll start here. Kringalia is a stellar leader in the South Pacific community. Whether that was there service as Delegate, or as a Legislator fighting for democracy after the infamous Milograd Coup. Feedback and commentary about the below is encouraged. Without further ado, I present to you Commend Kringalia:

The Security Council,

Setting forth Kringalia as an honorable and assiduous nation that has served their home region the South Pacific greatly over the last decade, being a pillar of its community in both times of peace and strife,

Recalling that early in Kringalia’s time as a South Pacifican, the region was thrust into disarray when Milograd attempted to overthrow the region’s legitimate government, the Coalition. As a newer member, Kringalia aided in efforts such as un-endorsement campaigns against Milograd. The eventual liberation of the South Pacific served as a catalyst to introduce a new generation of South Pacificans, kicking-off Kringalia’s extensive career in the region,

Respecting the executive service performed by Kringalia through the South Pacific’s Cabinet, where as Minister of Regional Affairs they published monthly accountability reports to all nations in the South Pacific in addition to standard media publications and hosted a plethora of cultural events aimed at regional entertainment and historical awareness. Additionally, Kringalia created “the Southern Onion”, a unique and satirical publication focused on happenings in the region, a publication which occurs irregularly to this day,

Acclaiming Kringalia’s tenures as Delegate of the South Pacific where they continued to have a profound cultural impact through events such as “Coup Tuesdays”, and set the earlier stages for the South Pacific’s diplomatic shift to defenderism through treaties with The Rejected Realms and the People’s Republic of Lazarus,

Impressed with Kringalia’s focus as Vice-Delegate of the South Pacific, a position through which they also chaired the Committee for State Security (CSS), as during Kringalia’s tenure they reviewed vast Cabinet archives from 2003-2011 for declassification, enriching public awareness of the regional government’s history,

Praising Kringalia’s resilience in 2016, when then-Delegate Hileville and their cabinet attempted a coup against the Coalition. Despite being illegally banned by the traitors in question, they fought against the coup and released statements in their capacity as a member of the CSS, culminating in the eventual end of the conflict and restoration of the Coalition’s control,

Relieved that Kringalia’s dedication to the Coalition’s security continued after the 2016 coup with them serving as a member of the Council on Regional Security (CRS), the successor institution to the CSS. As a member of the CRS, Kringalia has advanced transparency and discourse on security issues in addition to the normal expectations of the position notably by leading the discussion on and announcing the declassification of files related to the Southern Allied Command (command of the resistance during the Milograd coup) and Lubyanka (former headquarters of the CSS),

Admiring Kringalia’s incredible devotion to the legal systems of the Coalition and their accessibility by the public, advancing substantial developments in High Court infrastructure and transparency such as:
  • Working tirelessly to compile the Rulings Consultation System, a comprehensive archive of past judicial topics as far back as 2003, undoubtedly preserving South Pacifican history that may have been lost otherwise,
  • Releasing the Case Submissions System, a user-friendly submission form to allow anyone to straightforwardly submit cases to the High Court, undoubtedly minimizing barriers to citizen engagement with the institution,
  • Ensuring compliance with the Sunshine Act by releasing various private discussions from High Court venues, an undertaking which requires diligent review and evaluation of topics before publication,

Appreciating the legal opinions presented by Kringalia as Chief Justice of the High Court, several of which have been vital to South Pacifican legal precedent, such as “Separation of Powers”, which ensured executive authority was only conferred to appropriate officeholders,

Cherishing the perseverance and resolve of Kringalia as the South Pacific’s Electoral Commissioner, a post through which they have managed countless elections, including the high-volume Local Council and Delegate elections of the Coalition and through multiple back-to-back elections as required by the South Pacific’s political state at the time. Furthermore, they developed the expansive Election Management Portal, providing easy navigation and consumption of election data past and present,

Adoring the wildlife of Kringalia, including the world-famous “Indiana”, a large rabbit beloved by fellow nations and their statesmen alike, functioning as a symbol and mascot for the nation and its supporters,

Believing that Kringalia’s work in the South Pacific has shown their steadfast commitment to democracy, and their devotion to the South Pacific's Coalition, and therefore convinced that their efforts should not go unseen by the Security Council, and on that account,

Hereby commends Kringalia.
Last edited by Goobergunchia on Tue Nov 01, 2022 9:07 pm, edited 71 times in total.
The Ex-Wife of the Lile Ulie Islands



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Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Wed Aug 24, 2022 5:54 pm

Commend Kringalia


Category: Commendation


Co-author: Concrete Slab


The Security Council,

Firmly believing that nations who have contributed to their region and the multiverse as a whole, whether through the exceptional facilitating of freedom, democracy, or any positive impact, should be recognized by this August Security Council for their remarkable work,

Concerned to see that the nation of Kringalia of the South Pacific has yet to be recognized for their efforts to improve the South Pacific, and enhance its rich democratic values,

Identifying Kringalia as a political leader in the South Pacific, who currently serves on the region’s Council on Regional Security and as Chief Justice of the High Court, the region’s highest judicial position,

Further identifying Kringalia as the former Delegate of the South Pacific, the former Vice Delegate, the former Minister and Deputy Minister of Regional Affairs, and the region’s former Minister of Foreign Affairs,

Lauding Kringalia’s service to the South Pacific during its time of greatest turmoil, the infamous Milograd Coup,

Highlighting Kringalia’s service during the coup where:

  • Kringalia was one of several vocal advocates against Milograd’s coup where they argued in favor of The Coalition of the South Pacific, against Milograd’s corrupt regime,
  • After Milograd was defeated, Kringalia authored the 2013 Bill of Rights, also known as the Declaration on the Rights and Duties of Nations, which outlined the South Pacific’s desires to “become a beacon of justice and democratic rule,”

Noting Kringalia’s commitment to justice and democracy, which has been shown in their fight against Milograd, and their vow to protect the South Pacific from threats foreign and domestic,

Assured by Kringalia’s actions as to establish worldwide peace, in particular, peace between the South Pacific and other regions as Minister of Foreign Affairs, and during Kringalia’s tenure as Minister of Foreign Affairs, multiple treaties between regions and the South Pacific were signed, including, but not limited to:

  • The Aurora Alliance, a treaty between the South Pacific and the North Pacific,
  • The Treaty of Friendship, one between the South Pacific and Europeia,
  • An unnamed treaty between the South Pacific and Balder, and the inclusion of more treaties,

Applauding Kringalia’s efforts to promote peace, democracy, and stability around the world,

Further applauding Kringalia’s efforts as Minister of Regional Affairs and Delegate, where they helped train nations to become regional officers, and as Delegate, established the regional media outlet, the Southern Journal, and made a move toward defending regions from invasions,

Respecting Kringalia’s commitment to the South Pacific as Elections Commissioner, a post they have held since early June 2021, when they were appointed by the Council on Regional Security, a body explained below,

Saluting Kringalia’s service as a member of the South Pacific’s Council on Regional Security, which serves as, along with the Coral Guard, a crucial line of defense against threats of a potential coup, a position they were appointed to almost a whopping three years ago by former South Pacifican Delegate Aumetlopia,

Further saluting Kringalia’s duties as a jurist, after being nominated to The High Court as a permanent justice in 2017 by Roavin, succeeding Farengeto, and after reform of the judicial body, Kringalia became the court’s first Chief Justice where Kringalia has ruled on a bevy on cases, and answered many legal questions concerning the Criminal Code, or any general law of the South Pacific,

Appreciative of Kringalia’s democratic efforts while serving the South Pacific, from their authorings of important bills and treaties in the history of the South Pacific, or their service to assist all nations in the South Pacific, and even their vow of protection to the democratic region they have had a large influence in,

Believing that Kringalia’s efforts should not go unseen by The Security Council, therefore,

Hereby commends Kringalia.


Commend Kringalia


Category: Commendation




The Security Council,

Setting forth Kringalia as an honorable and assiduous nation that has served their home region the South Pacific greatly over the last decade, being a pillar of its community in both times of peace and strife,

Recalling that early in Kringalia’s time as a South Pacifican, the region was thrust into disarray when Milograd attempted to overthrow the region’s legitimate government, the Coalition. As a newer member, Kringalia aided in efforts such as un-endorsement campaigns against Milograd. The eventual liberation of the South Pacific served as a catalyst to introduce a new generation of South Pacificans, kicking-off Kringalia’s extensive career in the region,

Respecting the executive service performed by Kringalia through the South Pacific’s Cabinet, where as Minister of Regional Affairs they published monthly accountability reports to all nations in the South Pacific in addition to standard media publications and hosted a plethora of cultural events aimed at regional entertainment and historical awareness. Additionally, Kringalia created “the Southern Onion”, a unique and satirical publication focused on happenings in the region, a publication which occurs irregularly to this day,

Acclaiming Kringalia’s tenures as Delegate of the South Pacific where as Delegate they continued to have a profound cultural impact through initiatives such as “Coup Tuesdays”, a festival where they implemented creative re-themeings of the region often around popular references,

Impressed with Kringalia’s focus as Vice-Delegate of the South Pacific, a position through which they also chaired the Committee for State Security (CSS), as during Kringalia’s tenure they reviewed vast Cabinet archives from 2003-2011 for declassification, enriching public awareness of the regional government’s history,

Praising Kringalia’s resilience in 2016, when then-Delegate Hilevile and his cabinet attempted a coup against the Coalition. Despite being illegally banned by the traitors in question, they fought against the coup and released statements in their capacity as a member of the CSS, culminating in the eventual end of the conflict and restoration of the Coalition’s control,

Relieved that Kringalia’s dedication to the Coalition’s security continued after the 2016 coup with them serving as a member of the Council on Regional Security (CRS), the successor institution to the CSS. As a member of the CRS, Kringalia has advanced transparency and discourse on security issues in addition to the normal expectations of the position notably by leading the discussion on and announcing the declassification of Southern Allied Command (the location used to coordinate opposition to the Milograd coup) and Lubyanka, the former CSS private discussion setting,

Admiring Kringalia’s incredible devotion to the legal systems of the Coalition and their accessibility by the public, advancing substantial developments in High Court infrastructure and transparency such as:
  • Working tirelessly to compile the Rulings Consultation System, a comprehensive archive of past judicial topics as far back as 2003, undoubtedly preserving South Pacifican history that may have been lost otherwise,
  • Releasing the Case Submissions System, a user-friendly submission form to allow anyone to straightforwardly submit cases to the High Court, undoubtedly minimizing barriers to citizen engagement with the institution,
  • Ensuring compliance with the Sunshine Act by releasing various private discussions from High Court venues, an undertaking which requires diligent review and evaluation of topics before publication,

Appreciating the legal opinions presented by Kringalia as Chief Justice of the High Court, several of which have been vital to South Pacifican legal precedent, such as “Separation of Powers”, which ensured executive authority was only conferred to appropriate officeholders,

Cherishing the perseverance and resolve of Kringalia as the South Pacific’s Electoral Commissioner, a post through which they have managed countless elections, including the high-volume Local Council and Delegate elections of the Coalition and through multiple back to back elections as required by the South Pacific’s political state at the time. Furthermore, they developed the expansive Election Management Portal, providing easy navigation and consumption of election data past and present,

Believing that Kringalia’s work in the South Pacific has shown their steadfast commitment to democracy, and their devotion to the South Pacific's Coalition, and therefore believing that their efforts should not go unseen by the Security Council, and on that account,

Adoring the wildlife of Kringalia, including the world-famous “Indiana”, a large rabbit beloved by fellow nations and their statesmen alike, functioning as a symbol and mascot for the nation and its supporters at times,

Hereby commends Kringalia.
Last edited by Lile Ulie Islands on Tue Oct 18, 2022 12:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The Ex-Wife of the Lile Ulie Islands



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Postby Outer Sparta » Wed Aug 24, 2022 6:17 pm

The only thing you have to make sure of is to convince people that your nominee is deserving of a commendation. While I don't doubt Kringalia's accomplishments, a lot of what you have is essentially a regional commendation (someone whose major accomplishments are serving a region), so for anyone that doesn't know much about TSP, you have to make sure they are aware. In your draft, I would make sure you use The South Pacific (with a capital T) or specify it as TSP such as "Kringalia's work in The South Pacific (thereby now referred to has TSP."

Nice that you actually reach out to an experienced author to help with the research and writing.
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Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Wed Aug 24, 2022 6:19 pm

Outer Sparta wrote:The only thing you have to make sure of is to convince people that your nominee is deserving of a commendation. While I don't doubt Kringalia's accomplishments, a lot of what you have is essentially a regional commendation (someone whose major accomplishments are serving a region), so for anyone that doesn't know much about TSP, you have to make sure they are aware. In your draft, I would make sure you use The South Pacific (with a capital T) or specify it as TSP such as "Kringalia's work in The South Pacific (thereby now referred to has TSP."

Nice that you actually reach out to an experienced author to help with the research and writing.


Okay, thank you. However, about the capital T, TSP is branded without the capital T.

Will do, adding some convincing stuff.
Last edited by Lile Ulie Islands on Wed Aug 24, 2022 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Outer Sparta » Wed Aug 24, 2022 6:20 pm

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:
Outer Sparta wrote:The only thing you have to make sure of is to convince people that your nominee is deserving of a commendation. While I don't doubt Kringalia's accomplishments, a lot of what you have is essentially a regional commendation (someone whose major accomplishments are serving a region), so for anyone that doesn't know much about TSP, you have to make sure they are aware. In your draft, I would make sure you use The South Pacific (with a capital T) or specify it as TSP such as "Kringalia's work in The South Pacific (thereby now referred to has TSP."

Nice that you actually reach out to an experienced author to help with the research and writing.


Okay, thank you. However, about the capital T, TSP is branded without the capital T.

Will do, adding some convincing stuff.

There's a region called South Pacific which could be somewhat confusing. I prefer to refer them as TSP as with all other feeder regions (TNP, TWP, TEP, etc.). Also, pay attention to your character count. 5,000 is the limit including BBCode.

Edit: by my count you should have under 4,000 characters, so if you choose to add more clauses then pay attention to the limit.
Last edited by Outer Sparta on Wed Aug 24, 2022 6:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I don't stand with Ukraine. I don't stand with Russia. I don't stand with the US, NATO, or EU. I stand with the innocent civilians being caught in the crossfire while the politicians, the media, and weapons manufacturers continue to stoke division and conflict in their geopolitical chess games and treat the people of Ukraine as mere pawns. Zelensky is a corrupt, opportunist oligarchic politician who is not fit to lead Ukraine through anything and wants to inflate his own ego and offshore accounts.

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Postby Quebecshire » Wed Aug 24, 2022 6:30 pm

I think there's a lot of potential here. For some broad advice, I think you mention a lot of positions but don't go into detail on what he did with them (which is more important than the position itself). For some specific advice, I would axe the "Concerning" clause, it seems out of place for the SC perspective.

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Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Wed Aug 24, 2022 6:34 pm

Outer Sparta wrote:
Lile Ulie Islands wrote:
Okay, thank you. However, about the capital T, TSP is branded without the capital T.

Will do, adding some convincing stuff.

There's a region called South Pacific which could be somewhat confusing. I prefer to refer them as TSP as with all other feeder regions (TNP, TWP, TEP, etc.). Also, pay attention to your character count. 5,000 is the limit including BBCode.

Edit: by my count you should have under 4,000 characters, so if you choose to add more clauses then pay attention to the limit.


I've heard of South Pacific. I just did "The South Pacific" unanimously throughout the draft. On the topic of character count, I did "TSP" instead, and have 4391 words. A tiny bit of room left. Thank you for assistance!
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Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Wed Aug 24, 2022 6:36 pm

Quebecshire wrote:I think there's a lot of potential here. For some broad advice, I think you mention a lot of positions but don't go into detail on what he did with them (which is more important than the position itself). For some specific advice, I would axe the "Concerning" clause, it seems out of place for the SC perspective.


Just did that! Thanks for the suggestion. I'll go into detail soon, I just have to be aware of the word count. Though, you know, for like the CRS, it's kind of hard to go into detail because it's a little "secret."
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Postby Hulldom » Wed Aug 24, 2022 6:40 pm

Alright! Going to give some feedback on this. I think this is a good first effort, LUI. Kringalia is probably commendable in my books.

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:The Security Council,

Firmly believing that nations who have contributed to their region and the multiverse as a whole, whether through the exceptional facilitating of freedom, democracy, or any positive impact, should be recognized by this August Security Council for their remarkable work,

I would rework this slightly. "Facilitating" should be "facilitation". I'd have it be "freedom and democracy, or any positive impact...". Also, that should be a lowercase A in august.

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:Concerned to see that the nation of Kringalia of the South Pacific has yet to be recognized for their efforts to improve the South Pacific, and enhance its rich democratic values,

I don't like the wording of this. I think this reads as not just earning it but "deserving" it (like inherently worthy) and I don't quite like it. If you are intent on keeping this, at least remove the comma.

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:Identifying Kringalia as a political leader in the South Pacific, who currently serves on the region’s Council on Regional Security and as Chief Justice of the High Court, the region’s highest judicial position,

Further identifying Kringalia as the former Delegate of the South Pacific, the former Vice Delegate, the former Minister and Deputy Minister of Regional Affairs, and the region’s former Minister of Foreign Affairs,

I don't believe this is necessarily worth stating, especially if you'll be repeating and elaborating it.

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:Lauding Kringalia’s service to the South Pacific during its time of greatest turmoil, the infamous Milograd Coup,

Highlighting Kringalia’s service during the coup where:

  • Kringalia was one of several vocal advocates against Milograd’s coup where they argued in favor of The Coalition of the South Pacific, against Milograd’s corrupt regime,
  • After Milograd was defeated, Kringalia authored the 2013 Bill of Rights, also known as the Declaration on the Rights and Duties of Nations, which outlined the South Pacific’s desires to “become a beacon of justice and democratic rule,”

Noting Kringalia’s commitment to justice and democracy, which has been shown in their fight against Milograd, and their vow to protect the South Pacific from threats foreign and domestic,

Treat your writing as a narrative. So introduce Kringalia and note that they (just as a suggestion) "...provided leadership and a robust defense of the democratic ideals of the South Pacific during...". You can combine the first bit too.

So, just a suggested rewrite:

"Introducing Kringalia as a figure who reached international prominence due to their actions during the South Pacific's time of greatest turmoil, the Milograd Coup, when they provided a loud and robust defense of the Coalition's democratic ideals, and..."

That will cause you to have to reword some of the subclauses, but it's meh.

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:Assured by Kringalia’s actions as to establish worldwide peace, in particular, peace between the South Pacific and other regions as Minister of Foreign Affairs, and during Kringalia’s tenure as Minister of Foreign Affairs, multiple treaties between regions and the South Pacific were signed, including, but not limited to:

  • The Aurora Alliance, a treaty between the South Pacific and the North Pacific,
  • The Treaty of Friendship, one between the South Pacific and Europeia,
  • An unnamed treaty between the South Pacific and Balder, and the inclusion of more treaties,

Applauding Kringalia’s efforts to promote peace, democracy, and stability around the world,

This can be combined and needs to be elaborated on. The Aurora Alliance, for instance, has been around for a decade and surely there's content to be found there!

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:Further applauding Kringalia’s efforts as Minister of Regional Affairs and Delegate, where they helped train nations to become regional officers, and as Delegate, established the regional media outlet, the Southern Journal, and made a move toward defending regions from invasions,

This needs substantial elaboration.

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:Respecting Kringalia’s commitment to the South Pacific as Elections Commissioner, a post they have held since early June 2021, when they were appointed by the Council on Regional Security, a body explained below,

What has Kringalia done differently that needs to be done?

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:Saluting Kringalia’s service as a member of the South Pacific’s Council on Regional Security, which serves as, along with the Coral Guard, a crucial line of defense against threats of a potential coup, a position they were appointed to almost a whopping three years ago by former South Pacifican Delegate Aumetlopia,

This is certainly something of note. Is "three years" the longest tenure of anyone other than Glen?

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:Further saluting Kringalia’s duties as a jurist, after being nominated to The High Court as a permanent justice in 2017 by Roavin, succeeding Farengeto, and after reform of the judicial body, Kringalia became the court’s first Chief Justice where Kringalia has ruled on a bevy on cases, and answered many legal questions concerning the Criminal Code, or any general law of the South Pacific,

Have they issued any particular rulings of note that might be worth mentioning?

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:Appreciative of Kringalia’s democratic efforts while serving the South Pacific, from their authorings of important bills and treaties in the history of the South Pacific, or their service to assist all nations in the South Pacific, and even their vow of protection to the democratic region they have had a large influence in,

Believing that Kringalia’s efforts should not go unseen by The Security Council, therefore,

Hereby commends Kringalia.[/box]

I'm a broken record, so you know what I'm going to say. The bills thing is new, and I'd be interested to hear more about it. As a word of advice about conclusions, they should be succinct meta summaries of what you wrote. Don't rehash everything, get right to the point of "why".

As I said, this is a good start, but it needs a bit of work and detail.
Last edited by Hulldom on Thu Aug 25, 2022 8:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Postby Quebecshire » Wed Aug 24, 2022 7:06 pm

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:
Outer Sparta wrote:There's a region called South Pacific which could be somewhat confusing. I prefer to refer them as TSP as with all other feeder regions (TNP, TWP, TEP, etc.). Also, pay attention to your character count. 5,000 is the limit including BBCode.

Edit: by my count you should have under 4,000 characters, so if you choose to add more clauses then pay attention to the limit.


I've heard of South Pacific. I just did "The South Pacific" unanimously throughout the draft. On the topic of character count, I did "TSP" instead, and have 4391 words. A tiny bit of room left. Thank you for assistance!

Another way to minimize characters is to remove non-essential BBcode. Personally, I'd use the nation tag at the first and final mentions of Kringalia, and for the first mention of the South Pacific, and that's probably enough.

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Postby Minskiev » Wed Aug 24, 2022 7:08 pm

Lists don't need lines separating them from text. So for example, please make the OP look like this:

Clause
List subclause
List subclause
Clause

Instead of:
Clause

List subclause

List subclause

Clause
Last edited by Minskiev on Wed Aug 24, 2022 7:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Wed Aug 24, 2022 7:10 pm

Minskiev wrote:Lists don't need lines separating them from text. So for example, please make the OP look like this:

Clause
List subclause
List subclause
Clause

Instead of:
Clause

List subclause

List subclause

Clause


Will do! Thanks for suggestion!
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Postby West Barack and East Obama » Thu Aug 25, 2022 12:10 am

An unnamed treaty between TSP and Balder, and the inclusion of more treaties,


If you can't name this Balder treaty or other treaties, are they really that important? :blink:
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Postby Fachumonn » Thu Aug 25, 2022 2:52 am

Treaties and Positions are not commendable themselves - Why are these things commendable, per se?
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Thu Aug 25, 2022 3:01 am

Based on a quick first read through I don’t think you’ve done enough to show that Kringalia is Commendable.

There seems to be some repetition i.e. the same things just described differently and a bit of fluff and filler. There are also actions which to me are just not Commendable.

It’s a reasonable effort, but at the moment it doesn’t hit the spot.
Former Delegate of The West Pacific. Guardian (under many Delegates) of The West Pacific. TWP's Former Minister for World Assembly Affairs and former Security Council Advisor.

The West Pacific's Official Welshman, Astronomer and Old Fart

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Lile Ulie Islands
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Posts: 605
Founded: Nov 09, 2021
Democratic Socialists

Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Thu Aug 25, 2022 6:50 am

Fachumonn wrote:Treaties and Positions are not commendable themselves - Why are these things commendable, per se?


I've added some additional info, but I'm still looking for some evidence for the one with Europeia.

West Barack and East Obama wrote:
An unnamed treaty between TSP and Balder, and the inclusion of more treaties,


If you can't name this Balder treaty or other treaties, are they really that important? :blink:


Changed to Spiritus.

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Based on a quick first read through I don’t think you’ve done enough to show that Kringalia is Commendable.

There seems to be some repetition i.e. the same things just described differently and a bit of fluff and filler. There are also actions which to me are just not Commendable.

It’s a reasonable effort, but at the moment it doesn’t hit the spot.


I've changed up the draft a little, however, would you mind telling me where exactly there are, (1) either actions that aren't commendable in your view, or (2) where this "fluff" is, or (3) how could I improve to make the resolution more convincing.

I appreciate all of your guys' feedback- it's truly helpful!
The Ex-Wife of the Lile Ulie Islands



Former Minister of Culture of the South Pacific, current Ambassador to Lazarus and Legislator of the South Pacific

Author, SC#422

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Unibot III
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Founded: Mar 11, 2011
Democratic Socialists

Postby Unibot III » Thu Aug 25, 2022 9:42 am

Is there a reason why the 2016 coup was left out?
[violet] wrote:I mean this in the best possible way,
but Unibot is not a typical NS player.
Milograd wrote:You're a caring, resolute lunatic
with the best of intentions.
Org. Join Date: 25/05/2008 | Former Delegate of TRR | Gameplay Alignment: -18 / -13
Unibotian Factbook // Collected works // The Gameplay Alignment Test //
Proudly Authored 9 GA Res., 14 SC Res. // Commended by SC#78

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✯ Duty is Eternal, Justice is Imminent: UDL

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Lile Ulie Islands
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Founded: Nov 09, 2021
Democratic Socialists

Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Thu Aug 25, 2022 9:45 am

Unibot III wrote:Is there a reason why the 2016 coup was left out?


Was that Hilleville? There was no specific reason, as I am reworking the draft, I may add that in there, however, I need to be aware of the character count here.
The Ex-Wife of the Lile Ulie Islands



Former Minister of Culture of the South Pacific, current Ambassador to Lazarus and Legislator of the South Pacific

Author, SC#422

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Outer Sparta
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Founded: Dec 26, 2014
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Outer Sparta » Thu Aug 25, 2022 10:10 am

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:
Fachumonn wrote:Treaties and Positions are not commendable themselves - Why are these things commendable, per se?


I've added some additional info, but I'm still looking for some evidence for the one with Europeia.

West Barack and East Obama wrote:
If you can't name this Balder treaty or other treaties, are they really that important? :blink:


Changed to Spiritus.

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Based on a quick first read through I don’t think you’ve done enough to show that Kringalia is Commendable.

There seems to be some repetition i.e. the same things just described differently and a bit of fluff and filler. There are also actions which to me are just not Commendable.

It’s a reasonable effort, but at the moment it doesn’t hit the spot.


I've changed up the draft a little, however, would you mind telling me where exactly there are, (1) either actions that aren't commendable in your view, or (2) where this "fluff" is, or (3) how could I improve to make the resolution more convincing.

I appreciate all of your guys' feedback- it's truly helpful!

In regards to BBD's fluff comments, it doesn't hurt to read your draft again and then see if there are things that don't contain much useful information or if you have redundant clauses.
I don't stand with Ukraine. I don't stand with Russia. I don't stand with the US, NATO, or EU. I stand with the innocent civilians being caught in the crossfire while the politicians, the media, and weapons manufacturers continue to stoke division and conflict in their geopolitical chess games and treat the people of Ukraine as mere pawns. Zelensky is a corrupt, opportunist oligarchic politician who is not fit to lead Ukraine through anything and wants to inflate his own ego and offshore accounts.

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Unibot III
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Founded: Mar 11, 2011
Democratic Socialists

Postby Unibot III » Thu Aug 25, 2022 10:29 am

Lile Ulie Islands wrote:
Unibot III wrote:Is there a reason why the 2016 coup was left out?


Was that Hilleville? There was no specific reason, as I am reworking the draft, I may add that in there, however, I need to be aware of the character count here.


Yes, Hileville. I mention it because I recall Kringalia being very involved in supporting the Coalition. However, I wasn’t paying much attention to NS at the time.
[violet] wrote:I mean this in the best possible way,
but Unibot is not a typical NS player.
Milograd wrote:You're a caring, resolute lunatic
with the best of intentions.
Org. Join Date: 25/05/2008 | Former Delegate of TRR | Gameplay Alignment: -18 / -13
Unibotian Factbook // Collected works // The Gameplay Alignment Test //
Proudly Authored 9 GA Res., 14 SC Res. // Commended by SC#78

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✯ Duty is Eternal, Justice is Imminent: UDL

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Lile Ulie Islands
Diplomat
 
Posts: 605
Founded: Nov 09, 2021
Democratic Socialists

Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Thu Aug 25, 2022 11:21 am

Unibot III wrote:
Lile Ulie Islands wrote:
Was that Hilleville? There was no specific reason, as I am reworking the draft, I may add that in there, however, I need to be aware of the character count here.


Yes, Hileville. I mention it because I recall Kringalia being very involved in supporting the Coalition. However, I wasn’t paying much attention to NS at the time.


I tried to do some more research on the Hilleville coup, but I can't find much. It's maybe worth a question in the NS History forum, or a question to those involved.
The Ex-Wife of the Lile Ulie Islands



Former Minister of Culture of the South Pacific, current Ambassador to Lazarus and Legislator of the South Pacific

Author, SC#422

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Lile Ulie Islands
Diplomat
 
Posts: 605
Founded: Nov 09, 2021
Democratic Socialists

Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Thu Aug 25, 2022 11:22 am

Outer Sparta wrote:
Lile Ulie Islands wrote:
I've added some additional info, but I'm still looking for some evidence for the one with Europeia.



Changed to Spiritus.



I've changed up the draft a little, however, would you mind telling me where exactly there are, (1) either actions that aren't commendable in your view, or (2) where this "fluff" is, or (3) how could I improve to make the resolution more convincing.

I appreciate all of your guys' feedback- it's truly helpful!

In regards to BBD's fluff comments, it doesn't hurt to read your draft again and then see if there are things that don't contain much useful information or if you have redundant clauses.


Will do so, thanks!
The Ex-Wife of the Lile Ulie Islands



Former Minister of Culture of the South Pacific, current Ambassador to Lazarus and Legislator of the South Pacific

Author, SC#422

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Spiderman
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 53
Founded: Jun 29, 2022
New York Times Democracy

Postby Spiderman » Thu Aug 25, 2022 11:41 am

This is (admittedly) so very minor, but if it helps at all, there is a slight misspelling of 'Aumeltopia.'

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Lile Ulie Islands
Diplomat
 
Posts: 605
Founded: Nov 09, 2021
Democratic Socialists

Postby Lile Ulie Islands » Thu Aug 25, 2022 1:20 pm

Spiderman wrote:This is (admittedly) so very minor, but if it helps at all, there is a slight misspelling of 'Aumeltopia.'


Oops! Didn't see that. Thanks and fixing that now...
The Ex-Wife of the Lile Ulie Islands



Former Minister of Culture of the South Pacific, current Ambassador to Lazarus and Legislator of the South Pacific

Author, SC#422

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Southern Bellz
Diplomat
 
Posts: 630
Founded: Oct 04, 2008
Democratic Socialists

Postby Southern Bellz » Thu Aug 25, 2022 4:06 pm

This has my full support. Kringalia is one of the nations highest on my list when I think of the idea of a nation being a public servant to a region. TSP would not be the same without their contributions and every thing they focused on became better by result. You can't think of the term justice in TSP without them. And they did it all while being a pleasure to work with.

This has my fullest endorsement and I believe this is a well deserved recognition by a humble GP giant.

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