Hi, I’ve been sitting on this for a while and have decided to pursue it, let me know what you think.
When Pigs Fly
Overview:
After a rather relaxing day lacking any major issue, it has come to your attention that a rare case of pig influenza, otherwise known as Swine Flu, has been identified in the nation’s obscure eastern-most province. Now, a mess of military, public, and private officials have gathered at your office, though not to close together, in order to come up with a plan to get this developing health crisis under control.
Validity:
Invalid for nations with universal healthcare, and without capitalism and a military.
Option 1:
Milton Militor, leading General of @@NAME@@‘s military, makes sure he’s first to speak. “It’s obvious we have a major threat to our nations security right in front of us, our first action? We declare a state of emergency, then, the fun begins!” He continues as the other people in the room stare at him in a confused and skeptical way. “Curfews, martial law, our best bet is to put the military on top of this, then we get these swines under our heel! We’ve got exactly what you need, although, @@LEADER@@, a little extra funding wouldn’t hurt, would it?”
Result:
The military is being accused of war crimes against pigs by animal and civil rights groups.
Validity:
Invalid for nations with a military
Option 2:
“Oh, my dear friend,” Eccentric billionaire @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ sighs, “You’ve got it all wrong, our best response to this shocking development is the free market! We should rely on private enterprise to get this whole situation under control, all it takes is just a little more subsidies, so what do you say? I can even throw in a jet or an island to sweeten the deal.”
Result:
The increased chances of pigs flying has lead to a decline in the use of the expression.
Validity:
Invalid for nations without capitalism or private enterprise.
Option 3:
“WHAT?” @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@ cries out, before she begins to hand out fliers on swine flu and it’s symptoms. “While opportunists ‘Iron-Fist’ and ‘Mr. Moneybags’ over here are trying to exploit this outbreak for their own gain, we need to handle this in a serious manner and turn to actual, professional medical advice for the answer. We already some vaccines, what we need is more, if we get people to self-isolate and take other proper measures, we can not only prevent a spread, but prevent what is guaranteed to become a catastrophe if you listen to anyone of them.”
Result:
The government has made swine flu its main priority.
Validity:
Valid for all nations.
Option 4:
“Like what?” Says your niece, @@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEFEMALE@@, sitting in the corner of the room on her phone, “Like I guess this is kinda scary but I heard something about ‘universal healthcare’ on that awful show you have on all day” as she points to your TV, “What if we just do that, we have a good reason and all, like it’s a virus, why don’t we give everyone what they need to stop it, you know what I mean?” She then resumes the obnoxious video she has on at full blast.
Result:
The new saying is ‘When crisis strikes, take advantage of the government.’
Validity:
Invalid for nations that already have universal healthcare as a policy.
So yeh, that’s that.
