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(DRAFT) domestic violence and violence against women

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Mananfra
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Founded: Jul 04, 2022
Civil Rights Lovefest

(DRAFT) domestic violence and violence against women

Postby Mananfra » Mon Jul 04, 2022 2:26 pm

The World Assembly:

Whereas, domestic violence against women is increasing day by day worldwide;

The World Assembly mandates that:

1. Definitions

a. "Gender" means the socially constructed roles, behaviours, activities and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for women and men;

b. "Women" also includes girls that are under the age of consent in their own nation;

c. Domestic violence and violence against women is a violation of the human rights;

d. "Violence against women" is a form of discrimination against women and shall mean all acts of gender-based violence, physical, psychological or economic harm or suffering to women;

e. Threats of violence against women are also understood as violence against women;

f. “Domestic violence” is all acts of physical, psychological or economic violence that occur within the family or domestic unit or partners;

g. Threats of domestic violence are also understood as violence against women;

h. “victim” shall mean any natural person who is subject to the conduct specified in points d and f

2. Rights

a. All WA nations condemn all forms of discrimination against women and take, the necessary measures to prevent it,by:

- Abolishing all laws that are discriminating against women,
- Prohibiting all kinds of discrimination against women and
- Not considering the taken measures discrimination.

b. The rights of victims, shall be secured without discrimination such as sex, gender, race, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, association with a national minority or any other status.

c. All WA nations shall refrain from engaging in any act of violence against women.


3. Prevention

a. All WA nations shall take the necessary measures to promote activities for the empowerment of women.

b. All WA nations shall ensure that culture, custom, religion or tradition shall not be considered as justification for any acts of violence.

c. All WA states shall take the necessary legislative or other measures to ensure that the following intentional conducts are criminalised:
-excising, infibulating or performing any other mutilation to the whole or any part of a woman’s labia majora, labia minora or clitoris;
-performing an abortion on a woman without her prior and informed consent;
-performing surgery which has the purpose or effect of terminating a woman’s capacity tonaturally reproduce without her prior and informed consent or
understanding of the procedure.

4. Protection

a. All WA nations shall take the necessary legislative or other measures to protect all victims from any further acts of violence.

b. All WA nations shall take the appropriate measures to provide consular and other protection and support to their nationals and other victims entitled to such protection in accordance with their obligations under international law.
Last edited by Mananfra on Mon Jul 04, 2022 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Attempted Socialism
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Postby Attempted Socialism » Mon Jul 04, 2022 2:56 pm

I believe much of this topic has been addressed already. I'd advice you to look at GAR#597 specifically, and the list of passed resolutions generally, as you cannot contradict or substantially duplicate existing resolutions.


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The Orwell Society
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Postby The Orwell Society » Mon Jul 04, 2022 3:21 pm

Attempted Socialism wrote:I believe much of this topic has been addressed already. I'd advice you to look at GAR#597 specifically, and the list of passed resolutions generally, as you cannot contradict or substantially duplicate existing resolutions.

^ This ^

Though I must say, this is a decent start for a first-timer.
Last edited by The Orwell Society on Mon Jul 04, 2022 3:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Anne of Cleves in TNP
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Postby Anne of Cleves in TNP » Mon Jul 04, 2022 4:22 pm

“I, a woman myself, support this proposal in concept. Although this may overlap with previous WA resolutions on similar topics, this is a good first attempt at this topic. I have found a typo in the third bullet point of clause C, section 3, where ‘tonaturally’ should have a space after the second so that it becomes ‘to naturally’.”
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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Mon Jul 04, 2022 4:31 pm

This has been plagiarised in its entirety from the Istanbul Convention (IC). In particular:
  • your definitions of "gender," "domestic violence," "violence against women" and "victim" have been plagiarised from article 3 of IC;
  • your definition of "woman" is substantially similar to that given in section 3 of IC, except with some modifications regarding the age of consent;
  • Articles 2a and 2b have been plagiarised from sections 4.2 and 4.3 of IC respectively;
  • Article 2c has been plagiarised from section 5.1 of IC;
  • Articles 3a and 3b have been plagiarised from sections 12.6 and 12.5 of IC respectively;
  • Article 4a has been plagiarised from section 18.1 of IC; and
  • Article 4b has been plagiarised from section 18.5 of IC.
DO NOT SUBMIT THIS PROPOSAL
Last edited by Tinhampton on Mon Jul 04, 2022 4:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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The Orwell Society
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Postby The Orwell Society » Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:28 pm

Tinhampton wrote:This has been plagiarised in its entirety from the Istanbul Convention (IC). In particular:
  • your definitions of "gender," "domestic violence," "violence against women" and "victim" have been plagiarised from article 3 of IC;
  • your definition of "woman" is substantially similar to that given in section 3 of IC, except with some modifications regarding the age of consent;
  • Articles 2a and 2b have been plagiarised from sections 4.2 and 4.3 of IC respectively;
  • Article 2c has been plagiarised from section 5.1 of IC;
  • Articles 3a and 3b have been plagiarised from sections 12.6 and 12.5 of IC respectively;
  • Article 4a has been plagiarised from section 18.1 of IC; and
  • Article 4b has been plagiarised from section 18.5 of IC.
DO NOT SUBMIT THIS PROPOSAL

That figures. The OP didn't even bother capitalising the thread title and present a well-written proposal with near perferct grammar.
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
•  Ideology is either radical centrist or authoritarian social democrat. Which one, I may never know.
•  Ffteen year old guy living in the US.
•  Nerdy nerd
•  Minister of Foreign Affairs of Sildoria
•  Aspiring WA author
•  Semi-experienced gameplayer and cards trader

this
this

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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:33 pm

The Orwell Society wrote:That figures. The OP didn't even bother capitalising the thread title and present a well-written proposal with near perferct grammar.


The Orwell Society wrote:
Though I must say, this is a decent start for a first-timer.


You're really putting the Orwell in Orwell Society with this doublethink. And maybe before brazenly criticising someone's grammar you'd try to make sure you spelled perfect correctly.
Last edited by Honeydewistania on Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.


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Chipoli
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Postby Chipoli » Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:53 pm

I'm not accusing anyone of anything, but from experience, it takes a new nation a while to familiarize themselves with WA proposal writing and the NS Forums. It's quite interesting that the OP was founded just today and already submitted an entire proposal, albeit completely plagiarized (which in hindsight makes total sense). That's a bit suspicious, no?

Then again, this could genuinely be a new player who really is interested in the WA.
Last edited by Chipoli on Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Imperium Anglorum
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Postby Imperium Anglorum » Mon Jul 04, 2022 6:17 pm

There is no need to create conspiracy narratives over player motives.

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Outer Sparta
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Postby Outer Sparta » Mon Jul 04, 2022 10:16 pm

Seeing as you are new here, you might want to brush up on basic WA rules, procedures, and general writing advice. As others pointed out, this is plagiarized, and you seriously need to rethink your approach before you get in trouble with either the moderators for submitting a plagiarized resolution or with the GA forum regulars since you won't get much sympathy or support in the future.
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Mananfra
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Founded: Jul 04, 2022
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Mananfra » Tue Jul 05, 2022 1:23 am

Tinhampton wrote:This has been plagiarised in its entirety from the Istanbul Convention (IC). In particular:
  • your definitions of "gender," "domestic violence," "violence against women" and "victim" have been plagiarised from article 3 of IC;
  • your definition of "woman" is substantially similar to that given in section 3 of IC, except with some modifications regarding the age of consent;
  • Articles 2a and 2b have been plagiarised from sections 4.2 and 4.3 of IC respectively;
  • Article 2c has been plagiarised from section 5.1 of IC;
  • Articles 3a and 3b have been plagiarised from sections 12.6 and 12.5 of IC respectively;
  • Article 4a has been plagiarised from section 18.1 of IC; and
  • Article 4b has been plagiarised from section 18.5 of IC.
DO NOT SUBMIT THIS PROPOSAL



Hi!

Actually, yes, I searched some conventions made worldwide about violence against women to get some inspiration about what I will write. I tried my best to not basically copy and paste the conventions etc and tried to write something that is different than the convention itself. Thank you for giving feedback!

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Mananfra
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Founded: Jul 04, 2022
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Mananfra » Tue Jul 05, 2022 1:29 am

Mananfra wrote:The World Assembly:

Whereas, domestic violence against women is increasing day by day worldwide;

The World Assembly mandates that:

1. Definitions

a. "Gender" means the socially constructed roles, behaviours, activities and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for women and men;

b. "Women" also includes girls that are under the age of consent in their own nation;

c. Domestic violence and violence against women is a violation of the human rights;

d. "Violence against women" is a form of discrimination against women and shall mean all acts of gender-based violence, physical, psychological or economic harm or suffering to women;

e. Threats of violence against women are also understood as violence against women;

f. “Domestic violence” is all acts of physical, psychological or economic violence that occur within the family or domestic unit or partners;

g. Threats of domestic violence are also understood as violence against women;

h. “victim” shall mean any natural person who is subject to the conduct specified in points d and f

2. Rights

a. All WA nations condemn all forms of discrimination against women and take, the necessary measures to prevent it,by:

- Abolishing all laws that are discriminating against women,
- Prohibiting all kinds of discrimination against women and
- Not considering the taken measures discrimination.

b. The rights of victims, shall be secured without discrimination such as sex, gender, race, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, association with a national minority or any other status.

c. All WA nations shall refrain from engaging in any act of violence against women.


3. Prevention

a. All WA nations shall take the necessary measures to promote activities for the empowerment of women.

b. All WA nations shall ensure that culture, custom, religion or tradition shall not be considered as justification for any acts of violence.

c. All WA states shall take the necessary legislative or other measures to ensure that the following intentional conducts are criminalised:
-excising, infibulating or performing any other mutilation to the whole or any part of a woman’s labia majora, labia minora or clitoris;
-performing an abortion on a woman without her prior and informed consent;
-performing surgery which has the purpose or effect of terminating a woman’s capacity tonaturally reproduce without her prior and informed consent or
understanding of the procedure.

4. Protection

a. All WA nations shall take the necessary legislative or other measures to protect all victims from any further acts of violence.

b. All WA nations shall take the appropriate measures to provide consular and other protection and support to their nationals and other victims entitled to such protection in accordance with their obligations under international law.



I was really not indending to plagiarise and tried my best to understand what İstanbul convention itself focuses on and I tried to write something different than the convention itself but focused on the same things. I think I should not even get inspiration from real-life conventions and understand the problems that was never discussed in the WA before.

Writing this also made me learn the formats of proposals. Thank you everyone for giving me your valuable feedbacks :)

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Anne of Cleves in TNP
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Founded: Aug 12, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Anne of Cleves in TNP » Tue Jul 05, 2022 5:05 am

OOC: I ran the new draft through Grammarly’s plagiarism checker and it did detect plagiarism. To see the exact plagiarism details, I then ran the draft through SmallSEOTools.

https://ibb.co/6tMvNr5

Luckily for you, most of the plagiarism detected was from this thread, however the system also found plagiarized pieces from these off-site sources:
https://www.thehotline.org/
https://books.google.com/books?id=uwZpDwAAQBAJ
https://reproductiverights.org/maps/wor ... ed-consent

Might want to re-polish your draft to make it different from these three sources. :eyebrow:
IC Name: The Clevesian Empire
Capital: New Cleves
Leader: Empress Anne of Cleves III
Failed WA Proposals: “Repeal: Comfortable Pillows for All Protocol”
IC WA Ambassador: Ms. Charlotte Schafer
“Give me a proposal, I’ll give you some criticism.”
[RIP Technoblade]

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The Orwell Society
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Founded: Apr 16, 2022
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby The Orwell Society » Tue Jul 05, 2022 7:54 am

Honeydewistania wrote:
The Orwell Society wrote:That figures. The OP didn't even bother capitalising the thread title and present a well-written proposal with near perferct grammar.


The Orwell Society wrote:
Though I must say, this is a decent start for a first-timer.


You're really putting the Orwell in Orwell Society with this doublethink. And maybe before brazenly criticising someone's grammar you'd try to make sure you spelled perfect correctly.

I know how to spell, I'm just not good at typing on this stupid phone. Plus, I didn't know it was plagiarized until Tin pointed it out, so you can't call it doublethink.
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
•  Ideology is either radical centrist or authoritarian social democrat. Which one, I may never know.
•  Ffteen year old guy living in the US.
•  Nerdy nerd
•  Minister of Foreign Affairs of Sildoria
•  Aspiring WA author
•  Semi-experienced gameplayer and cards trader

this
this


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