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[DRAFT] Major League Migrants

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Gemeinschaftsland
Secretary
 
Posts: 30
Founded: Oct 31, 2021
Civil Rights Lovefest

[DRAFT] Major League Migrants

Postby Gemeinschaftsland » Sun May 22, 2022 6:43 pm

My first issue draft! I thought up the concept a good while ago when I was trying to shake the No Sports policy.

TITLE:
Major League Migrants

VALIDITY:
no sports, immigration allowed

DESCRIPTION:
Shockingly, despite your honest intentions, @@NAME@@’s ban on sports has not been universally beloved. A coalition of immigrants, expats, foreign nationals, and dual citizens, interpreting the prohibition as a thinly-veiled attack on their way of life, have come together to vehemently protest such legislation.

OPTION 1
“This is an outrage!” roars @@RANDOMNAME@@, a first-generation immigrant from Ausblic, who invited @@HIM@@self to one of your Cabinet meetings. “Calvinball is a staple of Ausblic’s culture, it’s been played for generations! I tell you, this sports ban is nothing more than cultural racism. If you care even a lick about the well-being of minorities in @@NAME@@, you must fix this atrocity at once!”

OUTCOME:
The nation’s streets are filled with foreigners playing every game under the sun.

OPTION 2
“While I disagree with @@HIS@@ reasoning, @@HE@@ has quite a good point,” chimes in @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Finance. “While they were legal, sports made up a significant portion of @@DEMONYM@@ tax revenue, and without them, we’re having considerable difficulty balancing the national budget. I suggest we immediately reinstate athletic activities, albeit with a modest tax hike.”

OUTCOME:
@@DEMONYM@@ coaches can empty the bench only once they empty their wallets.

OPTION 3
“That simply will not do,” interjects your Minister of Education, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Have we already forgotten why we banned sports in the first place? Such physical contests encourage brawn over brains, growing a generation of mindless brutes. We should be investing in more intellectual pursuits instead, like chess.”

OUTCOME:
It’s checkmate for sports in @@NAME@@.

OPTION 4
“How could those vile aliens dare to question @@LEADER@@’s pristine judgment?” mutters one of your security guards under their breath. “We should deport them all, and do whatever it takes to keep them out of @@NAME@@ for good.”

OUTCOME:
@@NAME@@ is building a great wall with athletes paying the price.

OPTION 5
“SILENCE YOU BICKERING MAGGOTS!” bellows your Minister of Defense, @@RANDOMNAME@@, a former drill sergeant. “I have a solution that will make every one of you nincompoops happy. If anyone wants to play sports, send them to the military, we’ll put their athleticism and skills to good use… Blowing our enemies to smithereens.”

OUTCOME:
The @@DEMONYM@@ military plays baseball with live grenades.
Last edited by Gemeinschaftsland on Sun May 22, 2022 10:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Gem
Europeia (Former) Two-Term Minister of World Assembly Affairs

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Tinhampton
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Posts: 10374
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Anarchy

Postby Tinhampton » Sun May 22, 2022 9:13 pm

A lot of government policies infringe upon the cultural traditions of immigrants. Why do you want to focus on sports, particularly given that Issue #707 "The Eye of the Tiger" already looks at No Sports through a culturally-neutral lens?

Issue effect lines do not normally have commas.
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 319,372): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607
Other achievements: Cup of Harmony 73 champions; Philosopher-Queen of Sophia; possibly very controversial; *author of the most popular WA resolution ever
Who am I, really? 46yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate; currently reading nothing much

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Gemeinschaftsland
Secretary
 
Posts: 30
Founded: Oct 31, 2021
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Gemeinschaftsland » Sun May 22, 2022 10:30 pm

Tinhampton wrote:A lot of government policies infringe upon the cultural traditions of immigrants. Why do you want to focus on sports, particularly given that Issue #707 "The Eye of the Tiger" already looks at No Sports through a culturally-neutral lens?
I just thought it was an interesting perspective. Many such policies that we don't immediately think of as culturally relevant can have distinct impacts on other cultures.
Tinhampton wrote:Issue effect lines do not normally have commas.
Fixed.
Gem
Europeia (Former) Two-Term Minister of World Assembly Affairs

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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 9785
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Mon May 23, 2022 2:35 am

Is there any culture that doesn't value sports? They might not all be exactly equally obsessed with it, but pretty much every corner of the world has some-or-other iconic local sport.

Also I can speak from personal experience that even in cultures which are known for being obsessed with a certain sport, there are still plenty of individuals who don't care about it and think their other countrypeople are being silly.


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