TITLE:
Bet You I Can Cure Your Gambling Addiction
VALIDITY:
capitalism, significant gambling industry
DESCRIPTION:
Healthcare providers have announced that they will no longer be accepting funding from the gambling addiction charity GambleResponsible over concerns that the majority of its donations come from the gambling industry itself.
OPTION 1
"Taking money from GambleResponsible would be like funding drug addiction clinics with drug cartel money," argues addiction specialist Dr. de Books, who has previously complained his service is underfunded. "The government ought to prevent the gambling industry from adopting this faint veneer of responsibility, and denounce GambleResponsible as a sham. In fact, more government money needs to be put into clinics like mine directly, to reduce the temptation to make a deal with the devil."
OUTCOME:
the government is taking people's money to protect them from being exploited by those who would take their money
OPTION 2
"We're an independent charity with strict governance procedures to separate us entirely from our very generous donors," explains GambleResponsible CEO Bach Hander, who gets a six figure salary for overseeing the well-funded organisation. "Let's not forget that there are compassionate people in the industry who want to protect and care for their customers simply because they are caring human beings looking out for the common good. Why would you want to discourage corporate responsibility? Why not set up some government-run addiction clinics that use our funding, and encourage responsible gambling across the nation at no cost to the taxpayer? This is an entertainment industry, and our motto is 'when it hurts, just stop'. That seems sensible, right?"
OUTCOME:
the goal of addiction clinics is "addiction in moderation"
OPTION 3
"Honestly, I don't see how gambling addiction can even be a thing," yawns your Treasury Minister, who is compulsively tossing a poker chip from hand to hand. "People are adults, making their own choices, and the industry is always diligent with their tax returns, as well as employing countless numbers of people. We should be encouraging this growth sector by loosening regulations and cutting red tape, not nannying grown-ups who are exercising their free market rights to do what they want with their own money."
OUTCOME:
odds are that industry has government in its pockets
OPTION 4
"I'm all for financial autonomy," declares former Communist Party member Des Kepitle. "However, to exercise financial autonomy you need to be free from debt and free from exploitation. Honestly, the whole gambling industry is rotten, amoral and irresponsible -- you'd be better off banning the whole shebang."
OUTCOME:
the house never wins
