Totegia | A Domestic Sports Newswire for Gortolekua

by **Gortolekua** » Sat Mar 12, 2022 1:03 pm

With the national aavakitze in full swing, the editorial staff of Totegia welcome international and multiversal readers to our domestic sportswire. Here, you’ll find the latest scores, analysis and numbers for Gortolekua’s sporting competitions.

Our three most popular—and up until very recently, only legal sports allowed to be played competitively—are association football, baseball and curling. Inroads are being made in further developing professional leagues for cricket, basketball, ice hockey and other sports, according to sources in newly formed national governing bodies for each sport. We’ll be the first to provide you the scoop on when these leagues launch in due time.

For fast access to our domestic leagues, please look at our designated shortcuts listed below in due time. We’re still working on compiling and digitizing our archives for non-Gortoleki audiences; we appreciate your patience during this exciting and nervous time for our paper and our country.

Whether you’re a longtime reader from Gortolekua, or happen to be visiting for the first time (pretty much all of y’all), we thank you for being an avid reader of Totegia. We take pride in our coverage, and we know you’ll come away better informed about our world.

- Camilla Bengoetxea, Totegia sports editor

Gortolekua football results
Coming soon

Gortolekua baseball results
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Gortolekua curling results
Coming soon

OOC Note: This thread is only intended to be used for posting domestic sports results in Gortolekua. Please don’t post here unless you’ve got permission from me first. Any questions about the content here should be directed via TG. Thanks!

by **Gortolekua** » Sat Mar 12, 2022 4:08 pm

Ohorekunnia
Season 1 Preview

by Lempi Rey

Yaknow, we as journalists never would have expected there to be a unified effort to put on a nationwide football league. This idea of tradition that Gortolekua had ingrained in its identity for so long was never questioned, challenged or changed until very recently. My mind is still amazed at how years of provincial league tradition being somewhat upended in the name of internationalism. Even adopting a new yearly calendar is weird. Don’t get me wrong: This will be better for the nation in the long-term, but having a way of life that generations of us got used to no longer be the case is weird.

But hey, football knows how to get us used to new things.

In what is bound to be a certainly unique experiment (or a fascinating failure), the Gortolekua Football Union is forcing a unification of provincial football into a top-down national league system. While mass protests from fans ensured a provincial football will still exist to some extent—namely in the preliminary rounds of the newly formed cup tournament, the Kalija Gortolekua—nationwide glory must now be fought for. Will fans appreciate the grand effort put out for national and, potentially, multiversal glory? Will players compete with the same vigor they did in the provincial heyday?

Not right away, which will be important to note as early matches take place. But competitors compete, after all. It’s part of the word.

Enough of my philosophical musings. Let’s preview each team in the inaugural Ohorekunnia. The GFU invited the most recent winners across the nation’s 10 provincial leagues, as well as six at-large teams whose historical performances reflected football in their respective province. No more than two teams per province are allowed in this inaugural season, but effective next season, provincial limits are thrown out.

Lumipalloja JK

Last Season: 3rd, Mustamaa
Prediction: Bottom of the Table
Stadium: Halkeilevaposki (43,756) -Lumipalloja, Mustamaa
Manager: Daniel Roberts (4-2-3-1)

Mustamaa, for all intents and purposes, is a good footballing province. Why is this team dead last in my, and many other of my colleagues’ predictions this season? They’re footballers for fun. Not in the “we’re having fun while playing” sense—you need that when you play football—but in the “we never took the leagues seriously” sense. Why would they even? These players, while innately talented, have got solid careers off the pitch and it won’t be the end of their lives if they can't play anymore. And honestly: good for them. They’re talented footballers who have been successful over the years, and same with their academy products, and now that plays out to an Ohorekunnia invite. Lumipalloja may not know what to expect in terms of the seriousness of this competition, and who knows? It could be the thing that keeps them going strong later on, but I would be remiss that the lack of seriousness this team has will be their downfall. Maybe I’m stupid. Maybe not.

Basozuria SF

Last Season: Champions, Haize Eklektikoa
Prediction: Relegation Candidate
Stadium: Sekuoiak (28,607) - Basozuria, Haize Eklektikoa
Manager: Seth Tjäder (4-3-3)

Now, why would last year’s Haize Eklektikoa champions be prime relegation candidates this season, especially after breaking the stronghold that KftA Lehoi Hegodun had over the province? Simple: The team did what they wanted to do (beat KftA), and called it quits—manager included. Desperate times from the Basozuria board asked Seth Tjäder, the workhorse centre-back part of that winning Ezinezko Taldea, to serve as player-manager for at least a season. While they will have a reliable and intelligent leader leading the pack, there’s massive inexperience across the rest of the board after picking up players from the youth and academy levels. That leaves so much to be left by all accounts, especially after a remarkable season. If an inexperienced squad like this can stay afloat after 30 games, it will surely be just as impressive of an achievement as last year’s.

Berriaordena GZ

Last Season: Champions, Mazespolia
Prediction: Relegation Candidate
Stadium: Zeremonia Zentroa (19,434) - Argiapozik, Mazespolia
Manager: Norbert Lindqvist (3-5-2)

There’s a disappointing feeling brewing in the Zeremonia Zentroa this year. New manager Norbert Lindqvist might be out of his element in managing one of Mazespolia’s strongest clubs, with training camp reports indicating a lack of cohesion across the squad this year. There’s a potpourri of players without the order this team is known for. The age gap between the main striking partnership, Davis Summers and Kimball Perez, and a slightly aging midfield is bound to cause worries among supporters. While younger options are available, sources consider Lindqvist set in his tactical philosophy, while also hesitant to hurt players’ feelings by benching them in favor of someone better.

SFC Hiria

Last Season: Champions, Cerati
Prediction: Relegation Candidate
Stadium: HiriArena (26,873) - Putzu, Cerati
Manager: Lloyd S. Jewel (4-4-2)

Another provincial champion where much of the footballing prowess is limited, SFC Hiria were, by all intents and purposes, a surprising champion that bested Futbola Giza Kolorea, league favorites, on the last day. Most of the pivotal players from SFC Hiria’s winning squad were actually signed on free agent deals by Giza Kolorea—in the second flight but looking to bounce back up and prove their potential in a future running of the Ohorekunnia. Manager Lloyd S. Jewel has a tough task on his hands, but managing teams is in his family tree—inaugural Yttribian national team manager Simon Jewel is a distant cousin, “xth time removed,” according to the current Jewel. How an Yttribian managed to enter the country is a mystery to Lloyd Jewel himself. The bigger mystery right now, though, is efficiently managing the club’s weight on striker Herman Jephson, the only key piece left from last year’s championship squad, without a likely collapse.

Päiväunelijoita KUY

Last Season: 5th, Perjantaina
Prediction: Lower Half
Stadium: Valkoinen Huone (39,625) - Kuunallas, Perjantaina
Manager: Owen Roncione (3-4-3)

Things are starting to get less sad as we progress further into the inaugurating clubs, but it’s still relatively frantic times for Kuunallas’ True Love: Päiväunelijoita KUY. While a couple of previous league titles in recent league years gave them a place at the table, a downward spiral could prove dangerous for the Daydreamers’ hopes of staying competitive. Jakes Thompsett, Ivor Esteban and Lachlan Harlow don’t provide the same reliability they once did during their back-to-back winning seasons in Perjantaina six years ago. Is it fear kicking in? Will the extra pressure, even if they say it isn’t hitting them, actually play a role in a lackluster finish? Or is the team’s dive into despair beyond the point of no return?

SC Tiedemessut

Last Season: Champions, Mustamaa
Prediction: Lower Half
Stadium: Laboratoriopuisto (37,820) - Tiedemessut, Mustamaa
Manager: Cebrián García (4-3-2-1)

Mustamaa, for all intents and purposes, is a good footballing province. I am repeating the first sentence here that I used for Lumipalloja JK’s preview because again: Our new audiences should not have the ill-conceived notion that this province sucks at football. But again, like with Lumipalloja JK, SC Tiedemessut has to deal with a changing of the guard at the wrong time. Cebrián García is a manager you want to remember down the line, but this will be their toughest challenge yet in handling a less robust squad than in previous years. Rusty Campo, the goalkeeper once seen as the new kid on the block, is now the captain—at 25 years of age. There’s plenty of babies on the squad who need to learn how to walk now. Campo doesn’t want to see these kids crawl into a firepit. García certainly doesn’t either. But if this team can walk in time, then running is just a matter of time.

FC Suteakuepa

Last Season: 3rd, Seinät
Prediction: Lower Half
Stadium: Obelisk Revontulia (21,005) - Revontulia District, Seinät
Manager: Somhairle Petit (2-3-3-2)

A commendable presence in Seinät’s top four throughout the years, with a championship or two along the way, lands Suteakuepa in the inaugural Ohorekunnia. The idea, or rather the notion, of national football has led to erratic yet lovable gaffer Somhairle Petit getting outside of his tactical comfort zone and implementing a 2-3-3-2 for his players. I’m not sure whether or not these players can adapt sufficiently and in time, with rumors coming out of the Suteakupea camp that tensions have never been higher between players and coaching staff. But as long as wunderkind Loviisa Jephson gets the crosses and through passes she needs to score up front, maybe Dr. Petit’s crazy experiment will work out after all. Don’t hold your breath, though.

SD Marriubia

Last Season: Champions, Ibaiaho
Prediction: Middle of the Pack
Stadium: Estadio Marrirubia (38,524) - Marrirubia, Ibaihao
Manager: Alban Lyon (4-3-3)

Marrirubia might be the best of the northern bunch that’s a) not KfTA Lehoi Hegodun or b) not from Seinät. But the country’s footballing prowess is concentrated down south, and when you compare how high the quality is compared to the best team of the bunch from the more sparse north, it’s going to pan out in ways that fans are not going to want to see. Don’t get it twisted: they’re not bad enough to get thrown down; SD Marriubia still won the Ibaihao league last year. César Irvin is one of this nation’s most exciting wingers and it will be a delight to see him play and mature this year, but he can’t carry the team to multiversal club football on his own—or even the top half of the table. Be forewarned, but be assured that things could be worse. There’s always that silver lining, no matter how thin.

Kyynel PK

Last Season: 3rd, Näytteet
Prediction: Middle of the Pack
Stadium: Solairuartea (32,921) - Suurihyökkäys, Näytteet
Manager: Arlet Evelyn (3-5-2)

All good things must come to an end, and Kynnel PK’s golden age is now closed. Unfortunately, Kynnel PK is a band still trying to play the hits when the rest of the festival crowd has moved over to the side stage where newer, cooler, sexier ideas (a.k.a. football players/tactics, because I love explaining jokes to death) are eaten up as if there’s no tomorrow. But tomorrow is here for the Teardrops, and it’s sad when a player like Chanté Trent is a benchwarmer when he can make most other clubs’ starting line-ups. Onni Emmet still makes this squad digestible with his reassuring presence in the midfield, even as he approaches 37 this year, but at a certain point you gotta tell your band ‘You’re dad-rock, you’re not cool anymore!’ Sucks that it’ll have to be through a national debut that the message gets across, though.

RJK Joskus

Last Season: 4th, Kenkuijo
Prediction: Middle of the Pack
Stadium: Butcher’s Shield (61,991) - Rakkaudeton, Kenkuijo
Manager: Colm Googe (4-1-2-1-2)

Meet yourself halfway between good and mediocre, and you’ll find RJK Joskus at the epicenter of that Venn diagram. Joskus’ presence in the Ohorekunnia comes from its historical prowess in Kenkuijo’s leagues, but sparks of brilliance still prove there’s something intangible when you put on that pink-and-black kit. But the club’s heyday is long in the rear-view window. Most of the squad members aren’t the fear-imposing names, like Bilinda Shields or K.D. Butcher (living stadium namesakes), or even former player/current manager Colm Googe. Now, of course, that’s not to say it’s all bad. Centre back Cordell McReynolds provides a passable, not showstopping, presence along the back four, while Greer MacKenzie finds herself threading nice, long passes into the opposing third, even as a textbook holding midfielder. The art of the ping should certainly be embraced if you’ve got a semblance of a beautiful one. But fans should be prepared for a middling finish for the foreseeable future.

1. Turvatyyny TJK

Last Season: Champions, Perjantaina
Prediction: Top Four Fight
Stadium: BTSTU Arena (31,997) - Tietokone, Perjantaina
Manager: Yorke Buchanan (4-4-2)

These jacked-night juggernauts may have finished third in the Perjantaina Anima, but it’s their performances throughout their years that merited a place in the inaugural Ohorekunnia. Known for their defensive style of play, Turvatyyny isn’t shy to pocket in an interstellar burst that deploys a cushion of a backline, absorbing any sort of shooting barrage that comes their way that should make plenty of trouble for high-octane offenses. But that comes with its own advantages and disadvantages: You don’t get the privilege of attackers, and bless Torcull Allan’s heart for being one of them, capitalizing when you need them to. If a defender—like a Garland Toivonen or Douglas Caballero—isn’t having the best game they can have, it’s a nasty crash begging to happen. Airbags might not deploy in time, and top four could be out of sight.

1.FC Goudini

Last Season: Champions, The Arcatas
Prediction: Top Four Fight
Stadium: Fort Arcata (40,297) - Goudini, The Arcatas
Manager: Mariano Faulkner (3-5-2)

The lone top-flight representative for The Arcatas, an island parish just off the coast of Näytteet, 1.FC Goudini reputation across the island is that of hard-working, win-by-one-if-you-need-to ballers. They scored 5? Let’s score 6. Even if it feels impossible to score 6. That sort of thing that makes defenses susceptible to being broken through but also your team susceptible to goals. Cheese Grater FC, if you will. Drummond Douglas has achieved cult-hero status for certain parts of Goudini when he scored the league-winning goal on the last matchday of The Arcatan Championship last season, and he’ll be the main target for his teammates and for opponents to neutralize. But if stalwart midfielder Myra Randal can keep a consistent enough form, Douglas and 1.FC Goudini will be hard to shut down this season.

Astraalitaso

Last Season: Champions, Seinät
Prediction: Top Four Fight
Stadium: Observatorio (26,801) - Salmia District, Seinät
Manager: Bárbara Sanderson (4-2-3-1)

Take-off for Astraalitaso, whose arena is on the former grounds of the National Observatory, was very much ahead of schedule thanks to their surprise victory in the capital city’s league. Sure, this might be a lightning-in-a-bottle moment for the team, but if you’re gonna run with it, then run with it. The uncanny collective rises of Nickolas Bennington as a commanding goalkeeper, Dewayne Keith and Sarah Sierra as pivoting defensive midfielders, and Merche Taggart drafting beautiful attacks from her classic No. 10 position make Astraalitaso a popular pick for new fans in search of consistent, excellent performances week-in and week-out. But with the club’s collective youth, and inexperience that comes with it, it may crash their expectations down to the lands we walk on. Let’s see how long they can fly in the cosmos.

FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale

Last Season: Champions, Näytteet
Prediction: Title Contenders
Stadium: Orionvyö (35,241) - Isittelyssä, Näytteet
Manager: Harleigh Toivonen (5-3-2)

Much of what Kappale depends on is on balance. Uniformity needs to exist in how the game is approached, because if it’s not there, then what’s the point? Dismantling the Näytteet league last year is enough evidence to why that philosophy proves them right. Of course, you need players that emphasize that uniformity and play it into existence. Wise-beyond-their-years defenders, like Wallis MacCallum? Check. Versatile midfielders who dictate match tempo á la Mapla Salinas? Check. Scoresheet regulars for strikers in Delice Nieminen and Jose Maria Chandler? Check. Plus a gaffer that makes sure no one steps astray from the metronomic mission? Boy, you’ll be unwise to not count them in for a run at glory.

Tähti Roverit JK

Last Season: Champions, Kenkuijo
Prediction: Title Contenders
Stadium: Salijastakaista (45,033) - Hidasukelta, Kenkuijo
Manager: Anne Garcia (4-2-3-1)

There’s something beautiful about the way Tähti Roverit plays football. It’s not flashy for flashiness’ sake, but you’re not going to be bored out of your mind watching them play. These players, somehow, know they’re destined for something beyond this world. Winning Kenkuijo’s league last year—the only province without teams in the 9th and 10th divisions—is a brutal challenge for most teams, but they managed to do it with grace, elegance and pizazz. Julio Saarinen and Kauko Scrivener are the dual kingpins behind the otherworldly play you’ll see this team play. Their fullback pairing is the best in the whole league; the way both can spearhead attacks and command defense with such skill is going to be key to where they place in the final table and in the Kalija. Pray no severe injuries happen to Saarinen and Scrivener this year. That would be a shame for football in this country, and for multiversal fans watching our teams play for the first time. But if they keep up their skillful play across the season? Don’t be surprised to see their names in the national team once international tourneys roll around.

KftA Lehoi Hegodun

Last Season: 2nd, Haize Eklektikoa
Prediction: Champions
Stadium: Kobazuola (32,921) - San Marko, Haize Eklektikoa
Manager: Salvador Foster (3-4-3)

The club for the almighty winged lion: KftA Lehoi Hegodun. That’s one brutally menacing name, and they’re one brutally menacing team. The one season where they (somehow) finished second in Haize Eklektikoa was the year the Ohorekunnia got introduced. But winning a decade’s worth of provincial titles was good enough to warrant an invite for the city of San Marko’s pride and joy. Much like the winged lion itself, KftA is known for its imposing and attacking philosophy on the pitch. Led by disgustingly phenomenal winger Darby Innes, who scored a provincial record 28 goals across 30 matches last season, and the talismanic midfielder Grahame Brooks, KftA’s high-octane 3-4-3 will make last season’s regional second place a faraway memory. Hell, they’re probably the only team to genuinely be inspired by a national league and the glory to come along with winning it.

2nd and 3rd Division Predictions
Predicted 2nd Division Final Table
Voitamatton AJK (P)
fc auringonottaja (P)
Sähköä Fitness (P)
Golden Autumn SC
Futbola Giza Kolorea
Top de Afaragloto
Sporting Ekletikoa
Haize Bolada
MM Disko PJK
Äläitke MJK
Osoa Ilunduz IFK
Sporting Laskuri
US Piiri
NJK Tiet (R)
Braggsville Sarian (R)
GS Onddoa (R)

Predicted 3rd Division Final Table
Aina Alla KL (P)
Ilmari FC (P)
Kunnianosoitus SJK (P)
Koslenminä LUY
2JK Syväsakki
The Seers
United Players of Myrtle
AC Hiirenansa
Paperezko Begiak CF
Kometa Kosmikoa
Galtzada FC
Iltaavarten JK
Braggsville City
Maansiirtokone (R)
Haamulanka HJK (R)
Gaitzikikusi 90’ (R)

by **Gortolekua** » Sun Mar 13, 2022 5:02 pm

First Third Recap

MATCHDAY ONE
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–6 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Basozuria SF 0–3 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Berriaordena GZ 0–0 FC Suteakuepa
Astraalitaso 1–0 SFC Hiria
SC Tiedemessut 4–3 RJK Joskus
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 1–2 SD Marriubia
1.FC Goudini 0–0 Kyynel PK
Tähti Roverit JK 3–1 Lumipalloja JK

It's a riveting day across Gortolekua, with football fans finally coming to accept and even anticipate the inaugural Ohorekunnia. Pre-match ceremonies across all the first macthday's opening stadia are taking place, and everything seems to be coming to fruition. A dream that wasn't even a dream months ago is realized by fans, journalists and players: Maybe, just maybe, we should have done this national league sooner.

But if you're fans of the six teams that lost today, you might be regretting those dreams of a national league. Well, not yet, but it’s starting to get into nightmare territory—unless you’re Päiväunelijoita goalkeeper Earl Lyon, because it’s already a nightmare. A 6-2 thrashing, with a hat-trick from Kappale striker Delice Nieminen, might be a telling sign for the rest of the season.

A team not hoping their start-of-season foreshadows the rest of is KftA Lehoi Hegodun; the Winged Eagles were deservedly beaten by a Marriubia squad who knew how to handle them on the counter-attack. SC Tiedemessut, who I mistakenly referred to as Lumipalloja JK in the preview (mea culpa), got wind of the error and decided to shove it in my face, coming back from a 3-1 deficit in the 63rd minute to win it at home with a stoppage time goal courtesy of Charleigh Sheach, who came on to replace the injured Katelyn Arrington.

MATCHDAY TWO
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 2–1 Lumipalloja JK
Kyynel PK 1–1 Tähti Roverit JK
SD Marriubia 3–2 1.FC Goudini
RJK Joskus 2–4 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
SFC Hiria 2–2 SC Tiedemessut
FC Suteakuepa 0–0 Astraalitaso
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 Berriaordena GZ
Päiväunelijoita KUY 3–1 Basozuria SF

Looks like KftA got the message: A comfortable 4-2 victory, with all four goals before half-time. The two concessions came with substitute goalkeeper Yadira Holt between the posts. Why? “We

felt comfortable, Joskus was tired and we know she’s one for the future,” Lehoi Hegodun manager Salvador Foster said. “Give her some playing time.” A surface-level noble gesture, but that attitude may come back to haunt Foster’s squad in the future.

Kappale, meanwhile, continues its early stint as joint league leaders; second-half goals from Flavio Artiza and Birthe Solberg canceling out the early goal from Oralie Colton of Lumipalloja. Turvatyyny and Marrirubia also logged wins today: both at home, and both with controversy. A potential equalizer from Goudini midfielder Myra Randel was deemed marginally offside after a lengthy VAR check, and two penalty shouts from Berriaordena players went unheard—despite evidence to indicate the contrary. “I know you have to respect the officials, but come on,” Berriaordena midfielder and captain Landen Pilgrim said. “You can’t miss obvious calls like that when they happen right in front of you.” Pilgrim received a 2-match suspension from the Gortoleki Football Union for his remarks.

MATCHDAY THREE
Basozuria SF 0–1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Berriaordena GZ 1–1 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Astraalitaso 0–1 1. Turvatyyny TJK
SC Tiedemessut 5–2 FC Suteakuepa
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 4–1 SFC Hiria
1.FC Goudini 3–3 RJK Joskus
Tähti Roverit JK 2–2 SD Marriubia
Lumipalloja JK 0–2 Kyynel PK

Tiedemessut really took my mistake to heart, and is, so far, making me eat crow. Seven of nine points, five individual scorers on the match sheet this week and one hell of a celebration that poked fun at me (kudos for pointing out my bald spot) are all stellar highlights in their victory of FC Suteakupea.

Meanwhile, two straight draws from winning positions for Tähti Roverit JK isn’t raising concern just yet, but it is still alarming for a team with championship aspirations. “I know we’re still working out some of the errors on our end, but I promise you that things will get better,” Tähti Roverit left-back Julio Saarinen said. “Even if it’s muddy, we will make you all proud very soon.”

Over in San Marko, Lehoi Hegodun’s 4-1 victory is making the Matchday One seem like a loss from a century ago. While in fifth place right now, they’re making a case to the country that the way-too-early league table is just that: way too early. But with Kappale’s third win in three, along with Turvatyyny’s third win, KftA needs their opponents to drop points soon.

MATCHDAY FOUR
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 1–0 Kyynel PK
SD Marriubia 3–0 Lumipalloja JK
RJK Joskus 3–1 Tähti Roverit JK
SFC Hiria 0–2 1.FC Goudini
FC Suteakuepa 6–4 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
1. Turvatyyny TJK 2–1 SC Tiedemessut
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–1 Astraalitaso
Basozuria SF 3–2 Berriaordena GZ

Somhairle Petit read the news last match-day about Lehoi Hegodun and decided to humble them himself with his squad. “Listen, I’ve been a winner enough to know that the biggest thing about winning is that you gotta be humble,” the FC Suteakupea gaffer said. “I told Owston and Jephson—and they’re the sweetest of lads, kudos to them—to score as many bangers as they could without mercy and they did. We had to cut the match ball in half for those two.”

“Tell Salvador Foster that if he ever tries to sub in a goalkeeper against one of my teams…he’s not gonna like what’s in store,” a furious Petit added.

Beyond the what may or may not be death threats from the charismatic Petit, other league results proved to draw eyes. Both Kappale and Turvatyyny continued their winning start to the season with painstaking wins at home, while Tähti Roverit’s abysmal start continues with a dismantling at the feet of RJK Joskus. And 1.FC Goudini finally found its first victory of the season with goals courtesy of Thankful Gibson and Ambrose Echevarría.

MATCHDAY FIVE
Berriaordena GZ 2–1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Astraalitaso 3–4 Basozuria SF
SC Tiedemessut 2–3 Päiväunelijoita KUY
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–1 1. Turvatyyny TJK
1.FC Goudini 1–2 FC Suteakuepa
Tähti Roverit JK 4–0 SFC Hiria
Lumipalloja JK 3–6 RJK Joskus
Kyynel PK 1–0 SD Marriubia

Landen Pilgrim, on his return from suspension, led Berriaordena to a remarkable upset at home by handing 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale its first loss of the season. Some things are just poetic as is, but it’s even more poetic when the defensive midfielder—rarely known for scoring—manages to put in two against one of the title contenders. And when it happens to be for the first win of the season? Football is better than any scripted show on television when it’s like that.
But right when the door opened for 1. Turvatyyny TJK to have sole possession of the table, they just had to run into Lehoi Hegodun. Torcull Allan, the striker who’s scored in the first four matches of the season for Turvatyyny, scored his fifth but was shut down by KftA’s defense in a surprise departure from the club’s philosophy. “The whole thing about KftA’s philosophy that they keep forgetting about is that winning comes first,” winger and match scorer Liv Winther said. “Yes, we play quick, attacking football. But we also play winning football.” Both Kappale and Turvatyyny still share first place in the league.

Meanwhile, Lumipalloja JK is pointless after five following a 6-3 trashing against RJK Joskus. The sad part about that loss, despite how expected it was for them to not do well, is that you could see how Lumipalloja’s players actually realized what they got themselves into. Sure, two goals in the last 10 minutes made it less of a thrashing for them, but I can’t help but feel some pity for them now.

MATCHDAY SIX
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 3–0 SD Marriubia
RJK Joskus 0–1 Kyynel PK
SFC Hiria 0–0 Lumipalloja JK
FC Suteakuepa 0–2 Tähti Roverit JK
1. Turvatyyny TJK 2–5 1.FC Goudini
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–3 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Basozuria SF 1–0 SC Tiedemessut
Berriaordena GZ 1–0 Astraalitaso

For the first time in Ohorekunnia history, two milestones have taken place. First, a team is in possession of first place, and all squads have at least 1 point to their club name.

1-2-3-4-5 Kappale, following their gutwrenching loss to Berriaordena, found themselves with a comfortable 3-0 victory to give them the spot atop of the mountain all to themselves thanks to a Turvatyyny thrashing at home. “Sure, we can talk about how we’re ‘finally’ atop of the league by ourselves, but we’re only a fifth of the way there,” right back Eder Linna told the press following his club’s victory. “Imagine thinking you made the greatest album of all time but only the first 3 of 15 tracks are good. That’s stupid. We’re not gonna be that.”

Meanwhile, KftA Lehoi Hegodun hopped over Turvatyyny on goal differential to be right behind Kappale in second place. Tähti Roverit’s 2-0 win brought the club back into IFCF positions on goal differential as well.

But down the table, Lumipalloja’s draw away from home gave them their first point in the league. “Sure, we didn’t score, but cheers to Hiria’s team for trying their hardest to get one in against us,” Lumipalloja goalkeeper Espen Durán said. “Here’s to winning one sometime down the road, hopefully!” Berriaordena’s win over Astraalitaso, a predicted top four favorite, now has the latter in a relegation position and the former some greater comfort over being in the drop zone. Berriaordena is now 3 points away from an IFCF position.

MATCHDAY SEVEN
Astraalitaso 1–2 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
SC Tiedemessut 2–1 Berriaordena GZ
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 5–1 Basozuria SF
1.FC Goudini 6–0 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Tähti Roverit JK 3–4 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Lumipalloja JK 0–1 FC Suteakuepa
Kyynel PK 0–0 SFC Hiria
SD Marriubia 0–1 RJK Joskus

Sure, you see the wins that are starting to get pretty common—Kappale and Lehoi Hegodun—but a draw from Kyynel PK might be the most notable, sneaking in thanks to other results going their way. “It’s been kind of amazing how under the radar we’ve gone in terms of coverage,” manager Arlet Evelyn said following her club’s draw. “I know we’re going to need to keep showing consistent results, but let’s keep rolling.”

Meanwhile, the season’s first pivotal match-up did not disappoint. Seven goals, four lead changes, nine bookings, two dismissals, one beautiful game for a neutral. The Tähti Roverit-Turvatyyny match was exhilarating, heartbreaking and fun. With both teams down a player, Kendal Browne’s match winner in the 84th was a risky gamble that paid off. Browne, who came on to replace Mireia Hubbard following Torcull Allan’s red card, dribbled past Tähti Roverit to silence their fans, disappoint their players and frustrate their coaches. But with only one point separating third and seventh, it’s still any team’s to win—and lose.

MATCHDAY EIGHT
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 4–3 RJK Joskus
SFC Hiria 1–3 SD Marriubia
FC Suteakuepa 0–0 Kyynel PK
1. Turvatyyny TJK 0–0 Lumipalloja JK
Päiväunelijoita KUY 3–2 Tähti Roverit JK
Basozuria SF 1–2 1.FC Goudini
Berriaordena GZ 3–3 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Astraalitaso 4–3 SC Tiedemessut

Some social media users on Mirkoahirsi—a microblogging platform—made a stupid post about Kappale fans and Berriaordena supporters holding a banner saying “Friends for Life” or some cringeworthy thing like that following the latter’s gritty draw against Kappale’s closest title contenders. Sure, both sets of followers made fun of those who proposed such a wack idea, but you can’t help but think there’s some truth to it.

I mean, Berriaordena did manage a draw against an objectively good team. But it’s still more of the same, with the top three not shifting from their places, even though Turvatyyny’s window of opportunity was the easiest given their opponents were Lumipalloja. But 1.FC Goudini hopped into fourth following a loss from Tähti Roverit and another draw from Kyynel PK.

Astraalitaso’s 4-3 victory edged them closer out of the relegation zone, two points off. “I know these kids—and I stress: kids—are struggling having to deal with the outside pressure, but I know there’s good results bound soon,” Astraalitaso manager Bárbara Sanderson said post-match. “Sure, we’ve got lots to work on. But I’m happy to be working on this squad with this group of players. Better days are ahead. That’s a promise”

MATCHDAY NINE
SC Tiedemessut 1–0 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 3–1 Astraalitaso
1.FC Goudini 2–2 Berriaordena GZ
Tähti Roverit JK 6–3 Basozuria SF
Lumipalloja JK 2–5 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Kyynel PK 0–1 1. Turvatyyny TJK
SD Marriubia 4–3 FC Suteakuepa
RJK Joskus 2–2 SFC Hiria

Of all the times to lose, 1-2-3-4-5 picked the worst time to lose. Two teams,on their tail, are finally catching up to Kappale. One expected to be in the mix of it, one less so. But with almost a third of the season done, things are starting to heat up. And Kappale just happened to take on the team with the biggest chip on its shoulder. “I’m sick and tired of having to fight against teams, fans and reporters that don’t respect us,” said Rusty Campo, SC Tiedemessut’s goalkeeper and captain. “Kiss my ass, all of you. We’ll always fight. Win, lose, draw, doesn’t matter—we’re fighters.”

The rotating fourth position continues to offer new and old clubs in that position, and this week it’s SD Marriubia after a 4-3 win. It’s their first time in fourth place since Matchday Three, and they’re one of six clubs to call fourth place home following a matchday. Even then, five clubs are within three points or less of Marriubia, including Tähti Roverit—whose 6-3 win adds another confusing page to their story.

MATCHDAY TEN
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 1–0 SFC Hiria
FC Suteakuepa 1–1 RJK Joskus
1. Turvatyyny TJK 5–1 SD Marriubia
Päiväunelijoita KUY 0–0 Kyynel PK
Basozuria SF 4–0 Lumipalloja JK
Berriaordena GZ 1–1 Tähti Roverit JK
Astraalitaso 2–4 1.FC Goudini
SC Tiedemessut 1–2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun

There’s a gap starting to form between the top three and the relegation zone. Wins from Kappale, Lehoi Hegodun and Turvatyyny have brought a three team peloton for the championship after a third of the season. But oh, what could have been if it wasn’t for an own goal from SFC Hiria’s Dòmhnall Terrell. It’s especially tragic knowing how other than the own goal, this was the most neutralized Kappale has been all season. Zero shots on target and two shots all game don’t matter if you somehow still got a win.

Meanwhile in Tiedemessut, KftA’s masterful 2-1 victory should have been a 6-1 thrashing. Poor finishing tonight could have even seen a draw, but man is it a work of beauty to see Ragnvald Waltersson and Ingegärd Heikki thread the most sublime passes this side of the country.

P  Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       10    8   0   2    21   10  +11    24
 2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         10    7   1   2    31   20  +11    22
 3 1. Turvatyyny TJK          10    7   1   2    20   12   +8    22
 4 1.FC Goudini               10    5   3   2    27   15  +12    18
 5 Päiväunelijoita KUY        10    5   2   3    21   24   −3    17
 6 SD Marriubia               10    5   1   4    18   19   −1    16
 7 Tähti Roverit JK           10    4   3   3    25   18   +7    15
 8 Kyynel PK                  10    3   5   2     5    3   +2    14
 9 SC Tiedemessut             10    4   1   5    21   20   +1    13
10 FC Suteakuepa              10    3   4   3    15   17   −2    13
11 RJK Joskus                 10    3   3   4    24   23   +1    12
12 Basozuria SF               10    4   0   6    18   25   −7    12
13 Berriaordena GZ            10    2   5   3    13   14   −1    11
14 Astraalitaso               10    2   1   7    13   20   −7     7
15 SFC Hiria                  10    0   4   6     6   19  −13     4
16 Lumipalloja JK             10    0   2   8     7   26  −19     2

Following 10 matchdays, the biggest standout of the season right now is Astraalitaso in the relegation zone, especially given the high expectations. While there’s still 20 games left, you’ve got to start wondering if drastic actions need to take place—and soon. Toward the top of the table, 1. Turvatyyny TJK still being with 3 points of first place is a surprising delight for everyone involved. Still: Twenty matches left between now and the end of the season, and things are bound to increase in intensity.

With Ohorekunnia’s first third now fully finished, we’ll take a look at the standings for both the Igonousta, the second division, and the Hasisuka, the third division.

Igonousta Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Futbola Giza Kolorea 10 9 0 1 25 5 +20 27
2 Top de Afaragloto 10 8 1 1 19 7 +12 25
3 fc auringonottaja 10 7 1 2 27 9 +18 22
4 Voitamatton AJK 10 7 0 3 14 10 +4 21
5 Sähköä Fitness 10 6 1 3 16 12 +4 19
6 MM Disko PJK 10 5 1 4 17 11 +6 16
7 Sporting Ekletikoa 10 5 1 4 20 16 +4 16
8 Osoa Ilunduz IFK 10 5 0 5 13 13 0 15
9 Haize Bolada 10 4 2 4 18 13 +5 14
10 Golden Autumn SC 10 4 2 4 16 20 −4 14
11 Äläitke MJK 10 3 4 3 11 12 −1 13
12 US Piiri 10 3 3 4 17 19 −2 12
13 Sporting Laskuri 10 2 1 7 11 30 −19 7
14 NJK Tiet 10 1 2 7 9 19 −10 5
15 GS Onddoa 10 1 0 9 4 18 −14 3
16 Braggsville Sarian 10 0 1 9 5 28 −23 1

P Hasisukas Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Aina Alla KL 10 9 1 0 28 10 +18 28
2 Kunnianosoitus SJK 10 9 0 1 33 10 +23 27
3 Ilmari FC 10 7 2 1 25 10 +15 23
4 Galtzada FC 10 6 3 1 16 14 +2 21
5 Paperezko Begiak CF 10 6 1 3 22 18 +4 19
6 Braggsville City 10 5 2 3 15 14 +1 17
7 Gaitzikikusi 90’ 10 4 2 4 13 13 0 14
8 Maansiirtokone 10 2 4 4 12 16 −4 10
9 Haamulanka HJK 10 2 4 4 12 18 −6 10
10 Kometa Kosmikoa 10 3 0 7 12 17 −5 9
11 The Seers 10 2 3 5 10 16 −6 9
12 United Players of Myrtle 10 2 3 5 7 15 −8 9
13 Koslenminä LUY 10 2 2 6 6 12 −6 8
14 AC Hiirenansa 10 2 2 6 11 20 −9 8
15 Iltaavarten JK 10 1 4 5 12 21 −9 7
16 2JK Syväsakki 10 0 3 7 9 19 −10 3

Nine wins in the first 10 for Giza Kolorea is one of the more surprising finds across Gortoleki football, and predicted champions Voitamatton AJK being outside of promotional positions is shocking to our reporters covering second division. They were expected to run away with this league, not be outside the top three, but it’s how football goes. We’re not the players, we’re just observers.

Meanwhile, the top three in the Hasisukas are playing their part. Aina Alla KL’s got the pieces to go up soon and can give some of the Ohorekunnia teams a run for their money. But until that day comes, an unbeaten run atop the league will do. There’s still a fight brewing up between Ilmari FC, Galtzada FC and Paperezko Begiak for that final promotion position. Twenty matches left and it’s still anyone’s position.

by **Gortolekua** » Sun Mar 13, 2022 7:44 pm

Second Third Recap

MATCHDAY ELEVEN
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 3–2 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
1.FC Goudini 3–3 SC Tiedemessut
Tähti Roverit JK 2–0 Astraalitaso
Lumipalloja JK 1–0 Berriaordena GZ
Kyynel PK 3–0 Basozuria SF
SD Marriubia 3–4 Päiväunelijoita KUY
RJK Joskus 0–2 1. Turvatyyny TJK
SFC Hiria 0–1 FC Suteakuepa

The match-up of the year between first and second came, went and delivered. An early 1-0 lead for Kappale went answered thanks to two goals and an assist from Darby Innes. Even a stoppage time goal from Kappale’s Mapla Salinas couldn’t spark enough motivation for a point salvaging. Innes’ goal-line clearance with the last kick of the match proved to be pivotal, and a changing moment. The winger had struggled all season by not keeping up form, but delivered when it mattered the most. This match gave Lehoi Hegodun the top spot in the league, but with a Turvatyyny-shaped catch:

Turvatyyny’s 2-0 victory meant that they were level on points with Lehoi Hegodun. It’s the closest they’ve been to the top. Had they scored three more goals, which legitimately could have been the case if a few shots curled a little more to the right, that spot would have been their spot. But alas, the only difference in what might be is now what might have been, and this season of surprising performances from Turvatyyny continues.

“Trust me, I know how frustrating it is that we didn’t get to make it to the top. Hearing our fans frustrated sucks so, so, so much,” Turvatyyny left back Douglas Caballero said. “But we’ve got to keep doing what we’re doing. As long as we stay focused and keep playing as well as we have been, something has to go our way.”

MATCHDAY TWELVE
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 2–1 FC Suteakuepa
1. Turvatyyny TJK 0–1 SFC Hiria
Päiväunelijoita KUY 4–3 RJK Joskus
Basozuria SF 3–1 SD Marriubia
Berriaordena GZ 2–0 Kyynel PK
Astraalitaso 2–0 Lumipalloja JK
SC Tiedemessut 0–2 Tähti Roverit JK
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–1 1.FC Goudini

Unfortunately, for Douglas Caballero, things didn’t go Turvatyyny’s way—a humiliating 1-0 loss to SFC Hiria, down in the relegation zone. “If we’re gonna need to claw out of the bottom, we have to get wins that matter,” Hiria midfielder Dorothea Cook said. “And I’m sorry to Turvatyyny, they’ve been playing well, believe me, but if we’re gonna have to spoil them to stay afloat, we’re gonna do that.” Cook, who scored the matchwinner in the 62nd minute, knows this win will give much hope for Hiria’s hopes of staying in the Ohorekunnia.

Kappale’s 2-1 win puts them within one point of Lehoi Hegodun’s top spot, while Tähti Roverit’s comfortable 2-0 victory over Tiedemessut reassures their potential chances of making the top four.

Down the table in an important match that will determine the season’s relegation battle, Astraalitaso were able to stop Lumipalloja’s momentum with a 2-0 win at home to put them within two points from safety instead of complicating their struggles even more.

MATCHDAY THIRTEEN
1.FC Goudini 0–1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Tähti Roverit JK 3–0 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Lumipalloja JK 2–2 SC Tiedemessut
Kyynel PK 2–3 Astraalitaso
SD Marriubia 1–1 Berriaordena GZ
RJK Joskus 1–0 Basozuria SF
SFC Hiria 0–1 Päiväunelijoita KUY
FC Suteakuepa 1–3 1. Turvatyyny TJK

And just like that, Lehoi Hegodun’s reign atop the table has come to a temporary end at the hands of a Tähit Roverit showcase, goals from Catrine Mäkinen, Toni Aritza and the young hotshot Judith Berge included. It’s a frustrating loss for manager Salvador Foster, who stresses “the need to be more clinical and ruthless as the most important thing.”

“We’ve got to be ensuring that we’re not faltering in moments like this,” Foster added. “We know every point matters and everything has to be taken seriously. Why we aren’t doing just that, who knows?”

A convincing 3-1 victory from Turvatyyny meant they also leapfrogged KftA to take over second place from them, and kept the three-horse race alive between the three clubs. Three points, however, separate the middle of the table from the relegation zone, with an Astraalitaso victory keeping things alive for the club’s first division hopes.

MATCHDAY FOURTEEN
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 3–1 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Päiväunelijoita KUY 0–0 FC Suteakuepa
Basozuria SF 1–0 SFC Hiria
Berriaordena GZ 1–0 RJK Joskus
Astraalitaso 3–2 SD Marriubia
SC Tiedemessut 3–1 Kyynel PK
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–0 Lumipalloja JK
1.FC Goudini 1–0 Tähti Roverit JK

Another major chance for Turvatyyny to take control of their destiny, and it’s another floundering loss when it mattered the most. It almost seems how routine a recipe for Turnatyyvy heartbreak is. Start by adding an opening minute goal from a young heart-stopper, say Kendal Browne, playing on injury. Wait 38 minutes, add Niemienen, Chandler, Niemienen in rapid succession, wait 45 minutes. Serve cold-heartedly upon match completion.

Meanwhile, the ups and downs of Tähti Roverit JK continue with a disheartening 1-0 loss away to 1.FC Goudini that makes top four inch just a little further away from the club. For the Goudini club, though, it’s a lifeline to that multiversal football is still alive and well. “We’re different from the rest of the country. We’re from a chain of islands, we’ve got our own style,” striker Drummond Douglas said. “But forget anyone not putting respect on our name. Y’all can’t count us out. We’re not counting us out, why should everyone?”

Down the table, Berriaordena’s victory over RJK Joskus gives them a taste of the top half this late in the table, while a 3-2 victory for Astraalitaso finally gets them out of the relegation zone—at least for now. Astraalitaso’s next match? RJK Joskus.

MATCHDAY FIFTEEN
Tähti Roverit JK 2–2 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Lumipalloja JK 2–4 1.FC Goudini
Kyynel PK 0–0 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
SD Marriubia 0–2 SC Tiedemessut
RJK Joskus 5–3 Astraalitaso
SFC Hiria 1–1 Berriaordena GZ
FC Suteakuepa 1–0 Basozuria SF
1. Turvatyyny TJK 3–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY

Halfway through the season, and it’s three points separating first and third place from each other. Turvatyyny’s 3-2 win over Päiväunelijoita softened last matchday’s painful blow, helped by draws in both the Kappale and Lehoi Hegodun matches. But these results directly play into the rest of the league, especially factoring in who these teams played this matchday.

The fourth IFCF spot, however, is still up for grabs. It was an extremely important matchday for these teams; Tähti Roverit and 1.FC Goudini scored some pivotal results, with the former’s draw against 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale coming in the do-or-die moments of the match and the latter’s victory against Lumipalloja being just the kick they need.

In the bottom half of the table, SFC Hiria and Lumipalloja are uncomfortably comfortable in the league’s bottom two positions following dropped points. But it’s that final relegation spot that just keeps rotating. RJK Joskus knew they had their most direct out from the drop zone against Astraalitaso, and made the most of it with a riveting 5-3 victory. Two goals from striker Chastity Davison, one from Brody Stanton and a surprise goal from substitute left back Theobald Otxoa gave Joskus some breathing room—especially if things got too close to the wire.

MATCHDAY SIXTEEN
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 2–6 Päiväunelijoita KUY
1. Turvatyyny TJK 0–0 Basozuria SF
FC Suteakuepa 0–1 Berriaordena GZ
SFC Hiria 1–0 Astraalitaso
RJK Joskus 1–4 SC Tiedemessut
SD Marriubia 2–2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Kyynel PK 1–2 1.FC Goudini
Lumipalloja JK 0–0 Tähti Roverit JK

And now, for a return set of matches that begins extremely poorly for everyone in the top three. In a carbon copy of the first match between Kappale and Päiväunelijoita, the hosts lose to the visitors by a score of 6-2. “It’s disgusting, and I don’t want to talk about it,” Kappale manager Harleigh Toivonen said. “My players know how they, pardon my language, sotkeatutaed this one up. They better make sure something like this doesn’t happen again.”

With the win against Kappale, Päiväunelijoita find themselves with 30 points—an elusive club that counted Kappale, Turvatyyny and Lehoi Hegodun as its previous members. Four points off from first, two points ahead of fifth place, and draws in Turvatyyny and Marrirubia meant they were this matchday’s big winners. The six-goal showcase (three for Njord MacFarlane, and one each for Kevin Dahl, Cordelia Morriss and Lachlan Harlow) also gives the club a positive goal differential for the first time. Never a bad thing to score more goals than you’ve conceded.

MATCHDAY SEVENTEEN
Lumipalloja JK 0–2 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Tähti Roverit JK 2–0 Kyynel PK
1.FC Goudini 1–1 SD Marriubia
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 3–2 RJK Joskus
SC Tiedemessut 2–0 SFC Hiria
Astraalitaso 5–0 FC Suteakuepa
Berriaordena GZ 2–0 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Basozuria SF 3–3 Päiväunelijoita KUY

Just when things couldn’t get any more disheartening for Turvatyyny this season, they do. A 2-0 loss to Berriaordena—proving many of their estimators wrong so far this year with a respectable showcase to be in the top half this late into the season—means a previously comfortable place in the top three is now open to three teams below them.

Tähti Roverit are slowly, but surely, starting to solve the issues at hand, picking three vital points to go to fifth on goal differential. Päiväunelijoita KUY’s draw prevented them leapfrogging into third, but they’ve still gained a point closer to Turvatyyny, and Goudini’s victory over Marriubia also confirms their top for aspirations are still in check.

The unwanted third relegation spot has new developments however, with Astraalitaso’s 5-0 victory leapfrogging them into an infinitely more comfortable sounding 11th position—even if it’s a less comfortable reality of goal differential keeping them out of 12th and one more point keeping them out of the relegation. Lehoi Hegodun’s victory means RJK Joskus falls into that dreadful 14th position.

MATCHDAY EIGHTEEN
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 1–0 Basozuria SF
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–2 Berriaordena GZ
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 Astraalitaso
FC Suteakuepa 3–0 SC Tiedemessut
SFC Hiria 1–1 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
RJK Joskus 4–3 1.FC Goudini
SD Marriubia 1–0 Tähti Roverit JK
Kyynel PK 4–0 Lumipalloja JK

One horse is slowly dropping out of the three-horse race, as Turvatyyny, despite a 1-0 victory over Astraalitaso, lies five points behind league leaders Kappale (winners against Basozuria this matchday) and two points behind KftA, who dropped points to a likely relegation-bound SFC Hiria.

But it’s a much better situation to be in compared to Astraalitaso, who keep finding themselves more often than not in that uncomfortable relegation zone. Just when they think they’re safe from the drop, they keep messing up and get pulled right back in to the drop. Supporters, while appreciative of Bárbara Sanderson’s tenure as manager, are calling on the club board to take action, and fast. The supporters’ trust, in the most prominent rebuking of Sanderson yet, has called for her resignation.

“I know there are massive amounts of pressure on this club, and deserved pressure at that. There’s also massive pressure on me, and I know that and deserve that,” Sanderson said at a news conference following the loss. “So here’s my proposal. If we’re in the relegation zone the next time we lose, I’ll resign. Simple as that. No payouts for me, or anything like that. But when the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I’m the toughest bastard around.”

MATCHDAY NINETEEN
Kyynel PK 0–2 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Lumipalloja JK 0–1 SD Marriubia
Tähti Roverit JK 5–4 RJK Joskus
1.FC Goudini 5–1 SFC Hiria
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–2 FC Suteakuepa
SC Tiedemessut 0–3 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Astraalitaso 2–1 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Berriaordena GZ 2–3 Basozuria SF

Slowly, Kappale is building a lead that gets tougher to overcome as the season progresses further into its final matchdays. A 2-0 victory, combined with dropped points by KftA Lehoi Hegodun and Turvatyyny failing to pick up the points that matter earlier in the season, gives them a clear 5 points off second place KftA.

But if the championship battle might be finding a maestro to compose that symphony, the battle for fourth is an experimental and improvisational music show. Tähti Roverit JK’s win, 1.FC Goudini’s win and Päiväunelijoita KUY’s loss leaves those three teams with the exact same number of points at 32. The battle between Tähti Roverit and Goudini is much closer based on their goal differential, compared to the third team in this scenario, but Goudini and Päiväunelijoita still have a rendez-vous on Matchday Twenty-Two.

Same with the Päiväunelijoita and Tähti Roverit on Matchday Twenty-Three.

And Goudini and Tähit Roverit on Matchday Twenty-Nine.

Point is, there’s bound to be some drama in the final third of the season. The whole country is for it, though.

But the Päiväunelijoita loss means an Astraalitaso win. Bárbara Sanderson lives to see another match—for now.

MATCHDAY TWENTY
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 3–0 Berriaordena GZ
Basozuria SF 0–3 Astraalitaso
Päiväunelijoita KUY 3–3 SC Tiedemessut
1. Turvatyyny TJK 2–4 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
FC Suteakuepa 0–0 1.FC Goudini
SFC Hiria 0–0 Tähti Roverit JK
RJK Joskus 1–1 Lumipalloja JK
SD Marriubia 2–2 Kyynel PK

And if that two-horse race hadn’t been made official yet, it might as well just be. A victory for the Winged Lions over Turvatyyny gives the latter an increasingly difficult 8-point gap to surmount with just 10 matches left to play in the season. Their championship hopes may have crashed, but the airbags deployed just in time to fight for IFCF positions.

But it’s still going to be a difficult hill to climb for Lehoi Hedogun, who have a season-defining encounter on Matchday Twenty-Six with league leaders Kappale.

In the fight for fourth place, everything managed to stay the same, all things considered: Tähti Roverit, 1.FC Goudini and Päiväunelijoita drawing leaves them in the exact same positions.

Meanwhile down the table, but not as down as we’re used to, Astraalitaso’s 3-0 victory over Basozuria puts them in 10th—three points clear of the bottom and comfortably out of the relegation zone.

P  Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       20   15   1   4    41   23  +18    46
 2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         20   12   5   3    50   35  +15    41
 3 1. Turvatyyny TJK          20   12   2   6    35   25  +10    38
 4 1.FC Goudini               20    9   6   5    47   30  +17    33
 5 Tähti Roverit JK           20    9   6   5    41   26  +15    33
 6 Päiväunelijoita KUY        20    9   6   5    47   45   +2    33
 7 SC Tiedemessut             20    8   4   8    40   38   +2    28
 8 Berriaordena GZ            20    6   8   6    25   25    0    26
 9 SD Marriubia               20    7   5   8    32   37   −5    26
10 Astraalitaso               20    8   1  11    34   34    0    25
11 FC Suteakuepa              20    6   7   7    24   30   −6    25
12 Basozuria SF               20    7   2  11    28   40  −12    23
13 Kyynel PK                  20    5   7   8    18   19   −1    22
14 RJK Joskus                 20    6   4  10    45   49   −4    22
15 SFC Hiria                  20    2   7  11    11   31  −20    13
16 Lumipalloja JK             20    1   5  14    13   44  −31     8

With 10 matches to go, it’s now time for a quick round-up on the second and third divisions.

Igonousta             Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 fc auringonottaja 20 15 3 2 50 21 +29 48
2 Voitamatton AJK 20 14 2 4 33 20 +13 44
3 Sporting Ekletikoa 20 13 2 5 45 24 +21 41
4 Top de Afaragloto 20 12 4 4 41 22 +19 40
5 Futbola Giza Kolorea 20 12 2 6 41 24 +17 38
6 Sähköä Fitness 20 12 2 6 44 29 +15 38
7 Osoa Ilunduz IFK 20 10 1 9 34 30 +4 31
8 Haize Bolada 20 8 5 7 35 30 +5 29
9 US Piiri 20 8 4 8 34 34 0 28
10 Äläitke MJK 20 7 5 8 26 29 −3 26
11 MM Disko PJK 20 6 5 9 29 27 +2 23
12 Golden Autumn SC 20 5 7 8 27 36 −9 22
13 Sporting Laskuri 20 6 4 10 32 52 −20 22
14 GS Onddoa 20 3 0 17 11 45 −34 9
15 NJK Tiet 20 1 4 15 16 42 −26 7
16 Braggsville Sarian 20 1 4 15 13 46 −33 7

Hasisukas Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kunnianosoitus SJK 20 16 1 3 57 22 +35 49
2 Aina Alla KL 20 15 4 1 46 17 +29 49
3 Ilmari FC 20 14 4 2 41 17 +24 46
4 Braggsville City 20 9 4 7 28 27 +1 31
5 Paperezko Begiak CF 20 9 3 8 34 34 0 30
6 Galtzada FC 20 8 5 7 32 37 −5 29
7 Kometa Kosmikoa 20 8 4 8 27 27 0 28
8 Gaitzikikusi 90’ 20 8 3 9 26 26 0 27
9 The Seers 20 7 6 7 24 24 0 27
10 Haamulanka HJK 20 4 9 7 24 32 −8 21
11 AC Hiirenansa 20 6 3 11 26 41 −15 21
12 United Players of Myrtle 20 5 5 10 19 31 −12 20
13 Maansiirtokone 20 4 7 9 20 29 −9 19
14 2JK Syväsakki 20 4 6 10 22 30 −8 18
15 Koslenminä LUY 20 4 3 13 13 28 −15 15
16 Iltaavarten JK 20 2 7 11 26 43 −17 13

After a hot start to the season, things have come crashing down for Giza Kolorea, who won three, drew one and lost six, is now out of the promotion positions. In fact, it’s also the same situation—albeit on a much less intense scale—also fell out from the top three. League favorite Voitamatton AJK are four points behind first place but still five points clear of fourth place. Down in the third division, it’s a riveting fight for first: Aina Alla and Kunnianosoitus are both level on points, with the latter ahead thanks to a superior goal differential. But even then, there’s a 15 point gap between third and fourth in the third division.

by **Gortolekua** » Sun Mar 13, 2022 8:56 pm

Final Third Recap

MATCHDAY TWENTY-ONE
SD Marriubia 2–4 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Kyynel PK 1–1 RJK Joskus
Lumipalloja JK 0–2 SFC Hiria
Tähti Roverit JK 1–0 FC Suteakuepa
1.FC Goudini 0–0 1. Turvatyyny TJK
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–0 Päiväunelijoita KUY
SC Tiedemessut 4–1 Basozuria SF
Astraalitaso 1–0 Berriaordena GZ

If you told a fan of Tähti Roverit JK—hell, even if you told a player of Tähti Roverit JK—that they would be in fourth place following Matchday Twenty-One, they’d be slightly disappointed but okay with how things are going. Tell them everything else that happened this season, and they’d be absolutely relieved that they’re somehow in fourth. And it makes the 1-0 wins all the sweeter too.

Kappale, just further up the table, continue their stellar performances and maintain their 5 point lead in the league with an appointment against a hot Astraalitaso riding a 3-match winning streak and entering the top half of the table for the first time in a long time—Matchday Three, to be precise. It’s a remarkable turnaround from a club whose manager said their resignation would come if their next loss landed them in the relegation zone.

Meanwhile, the relegation battle for that third and final spot continues to get more frantic following a Joskus draw. While it’s dropped points, it’s one more point than Basozuria got, placing them in the third and final spot, ahead of SFC Hiria and Lumipalloja.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-TWO
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 2–3 Astraalitaso
Berriaordena GZ 1–1 SC Tiedemessut
Basozuria SF 1–2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–4 1.FC Goudini
1. Turvatyyny TJK 2–3 Tähti Roverit JK
FC Suteakuepa 0–0 Lumipalloja JK
SFC Hiria 1–2 Kyynel PK
RJK Joskus 3–3 SD Marriubia

Bárbara Sanderson has a confession: She was scared beyond words when she made her tentative resignation following a Matchday Eighteen loss that made relegation a likely possibility for the reigning Seinät City Champions. Sanderson even had a resignation message ready to go up on social media had they lost the following match, which she honestly expected.

Astraalitaso beat the league leaders on the road. It’s four victories in a row for them. They’re eight points clear of relegation.

Not only is their loss doing favors for their hopes of staying afloat, but it sure as hell is helping Lehoi Hegodun, who stand just two points behind Kapale with their must-see league matchup still forthcoming on Matchday Twenty-Six.

Meanwhile, the battle for fourth has become a battle for third and fourth: Tähti Roverit and Turvatyyny are both level on points after the former defeated the latter to bring themselves into third now, albeit only on goal differential.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-THREE
RJK Joskus 4–5 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
SD Marriubia 5–2 SFC Hiria
Kyynel PK 0–1 FC Suteakuepa
Lumipalloja JK 1–0 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Tähti Roverit JK 4–1 Päiväunelijoita KUY
1.FC Goudini 6–2 Basozuria SF
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–0 Berriaordena GZ
SC Tiedemessut 3–4 Astraalitaso

Tension keeps building up. Even with all the other stuff in the league going on—Astraalitaso’s fifth straight victory, Turvatyyny’s disappointing collapse, Päiväunelijoita KUY’s even greater fall and the stealth rise of 1.FC Goudini—all eyes remain on the daunting battle between Kappale and Lehoi Hegodun. Two points separate the two, seven matches left to play, an upcoming meeting still left to play for.

Kappale could have let this get away from them, which was an as embarrassing as a win can get given that it was against a team that could go down, if it wasn’t for Brody Stanton’s 86th minute penalty flying high into the Rakkaudeton night.

“Shit sucked,” Stanton said after the match. “We need every point we can get, and I screwed up. That’s on me.”

But football’s penchant for drama is strong. Astraalitaso is now in sixth, winning five straight as mentioned above, and things are finally starting to turn Tähti Roverit. Third place now, they’re the hottest they’ve been all season.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-FOUR
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 3–1 SC Tiedemessut
Astraalitaso 0–0 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Berriaordena GZ 1–5 1.FC Goudini
Basozuria SF 0–1 Tähti Roverit JK
Päiväunelijoita KUY 3–2 Lumipalloja JK
1. Turvatyyny TJK 0–2 Kyynel PK
FC Suteakuepa 2–4 SD Marriubia
SFC Hiria 0–3 RJK Joskus

Disaster for Lehoi Hedogun at any stage is never good. But disaster at this point in the season, knowing every point matters, is unforgivable. Enter where Lehoi Hegodun are now, dropping two points in the worst possible moment. Four points now separate them from Kappale.

“This is unacceptable. We are not the kind of club that should be doing this,” KftA Lehoi Hegodun manager Salvador Foster said. “We need to win against Kappale. It was already a must win match, but now it’s even more of a must win match.”

While Tähti Roverit’s third place continues to grow more comfortable, 1.FC Goudini’s hold on fourth place gets to be more and more likely by the minute. Four points clear of 1. Turvatyyny TJK, who lost to Kyynel this matchday, is giving the players a sense of optimism leading into the waning days of the season.

Even in the relegation zone, there’s a growing gap between safety and dropping, compared to earlier in the season where a mere point would separate safety from danger.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-FIVE
SFC Hiria 1–2 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
RJK Joskus 0–1 FC Suteakuepa
SD Marriubia 2–3 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Kyynel PK 2–1 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Lumipalloja JK 0–1 Basozuria SF
Tähti Roverit JK 2–0 Berriaordena GZ
1.FC Goudini 0–0 Astraalitaso
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 3–1 SC Tiedemessut

Ahead of next matchday’s title-defining match-up between 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale and Lehoi Hegodun, both clubs needed all the points they could get and did just that. Comfortable performances from both clubs meant that their next match together would be a riveting and enthralling match-up. Anything but a win for Lehoi Hegodun would pretty much give the title away to Kappale.
But down the table though, things are heating up. Berriaordena, who were maintaining a comfortable position in the table earlier in the season, now find themselves closer to where they were predicted to end up. A loss here plus a win from Basozuria in Lumipalloja leaves Berriaordena just a point ahead.

Goudini’s draw against Astraalitaso, however, leaves space for Turvatyyny to overtake them, who now lie two points behind fourth place.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-SIX
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 4–3 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
SC Tiedemessut 3–2 1.FC Goudini
Astraalitaso 1–3 Tähti Roverit JK
Berriaordena GZ 3–1 Lumipalloja JK
Basozuria SF 0–1 Kyynel PK
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–4 SD Marriubia
1. Turvatyyny TJK 0–1 RJK Joskus
FC Suteakuepa 1–0 SFC Hiria

For two sets of fans, it’s tragedy and joy. Tragedy for the Lehoi Hegodun fans, who saw their team come back from 3-1 down in the dying minutes of the match, before falling to a last-minute winner from Jose Maria Chandler. But it's a grand feeling of joy for the Kappale faithful, who know that a title is even closer than it has been. And there’s a glory in that feeling which cannot be understated enough.

It’s their title to lose.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-SEVEN
FC Suteakuepa 0–1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
SFC Hiria 0–1 1. Turvatyyny TJK
RJK Joskus 1–0 Päiväunelijoita KUY
SD Marriubia 4–1 Basozuria SF
Kyynel PK 0–0 Berriaordena GZ
Lumipalloja JK 0–0 Astraalitaso
Tähti Roverit JK 5–3 SC Tiedemessut
1.FC Goudini 1–1 KftA Lehoi Hegodun

Seven points becomes nine. Lehoi Hegodun is collapsing. And Somhairle Petit, totally unprompted by the press, is delighted by the collapse, following a 5-3 defeat. He’s the happiest he’s been after a loss, knowing how someone else has it worse off.

“I hate Salvador Foster with all my being,” Petit said. “And honestly, it’s okay we lost today. The rest of Gortoleki football is winning when that patchy-bearded stain on humanity loses.”

Kappale needs to win one game to win the league. The entire freaking thing is now in their hands. Victory surely awaits them.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-EIGHT
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 2–1 1.FC Goudini
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 4–0 Tähti Roverit JK
SC Tiedemessut 4–1 Lumipalloja JK
Astraalitaso 0–1 Kyynel PK
Berriaordena GZ 2–2 SD Marriubia
Basozuria SF 0–2 RJK Joskus
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–1 SFC Hiria
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 FC Suteakuepa

And on this, Matchday Twenty-Eight, FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale has etched itself into the Gortoleki sporting history books forever.

It was a raucous environment inside their homeground of Orionvyö. Their two early goals gave them some ease, Goudini’s 74th minute goal made things tense, but the final whistle blowing sent a sold-out stadium into full on frenzy. Who would have thought that a footballing experiment could mean so much so soon?

Nothing else can be done to decide the league. We have a winner now.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-NINE
1. Turvatyyny TJK 0–1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
FC Suteakuepa 2–1 Päiväunelijoita KUY
SFC Hiria 3–2 Basozuria SF
RJK Joskus 6–2 Berriaordena GZ
SD Marriubia 3–2 Astraalitaso
Kyynel PK 1–0 SC Tiedemessut
Lumipalloja JK 2–2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Tähti Roverit JK 3–1 1.FC Goudini

Berriaordena had the happiest loss in club history? Why?

Basozuria also lost today.

The league was set. Matchday Thirty was a mere formality in terms of who went up and who went down, for the most part.

MATCHDAY THIRTY
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 0–1 Tähti Roverit JK
1.FC Goudini 6–0 Lumipalloja JK
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 3–1 Kyynel PK
SC Tiedemessut 0–1 SD Marriubia
Astraalitaso 1–1 RJK Joskus
Berriaordena GZ 0–3 SFC Hiria
Basozuria SF 2–4 FC Suteakuepa
Päiväunelijoita KUY 3–3 1. Turvatyyny TJK

Goudini did all they could to make that dream of a fourth place finish into a reality, and they played their part. But they had to rely on a Turvatyyny collapse, something that wasn’t foreign to the league.

Unfortunately for Goudini, it failed to pan out for them. One point for Turvatyyny is the most magical point of all.

P  Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       30   23   1   6    65   39  +26    70
 2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         30   18   8   4    72   45  +27    62
 3 Tähti Roverit JK           30   18   6   6    64   38  +26    60
 4 1. Turvatyyny TJK          30   15   4  11    45   38   +7    49
 5 1.FC Goudini               30   13   9   8    73   44  +29    48
 6 SD Marriubia               30   13   7  10    62   58   +4    46
 7 Kyynel PK                  30   11   9  10    29   26   +3    42
 8 FC Suteakuepa              30   11   8  11    35   40   −5    41
 9 RJK Joskus                 30   11   7  12    67   62   +5    40
10 Päiväunelijoita KUY        30   11   7  12    62   70   −8    40
11 SC Tiedemessut             30   11   5  14    60   60    0    38
12 Astraalitaso               30   11   5  14    46   47   −1    38
13 Berriaordena GZ            30    7  11  12    34   48  −14    32
14 Basozuria SF               30    8   2  20    38   67  −29    26
15 SFC Hiria                  30    5   7  18    24   49  −25    22
16 Lumipalloja JK             30    2   8  20    20   65  −45    14

Igonousta Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 fc auringonottaja 30 21 5 4 68 30 +38 68
2 Voitamatton AJK 30 21 4 5 64 31 +33 67
3 Top de Afaragloto 30 18 7 5 68 39 +29 61
4 Sporting Ekletikoa 30 18 6 6 68 36 +32 60
5 Sähköä Fitness 30 19 3 8 70 39 +31 60
6 Haize Bolada 30 14 8 8 55 40 +15 50
7 Futbola Giza Kolorea 30 14 5 11 51 43 +8 47
8 Osoa Ilunduz IFK 30 13 3 14 44 44 0 42
9 Sporting Laskuri 30 12 5 13 44 57 −13 41
10 Äläitke MJK 30 11 7 12 37 43 −6 40
11 Golden Autumn SC 30 9 9 12 43 53 −10 36
12 US Piiri 30 10 4 16 41 50 −9 34
13 MM Disko PJK 30 8 6 16 39 52 −13 30
14 GS Onddoa 30 5 2 23 21 68 −47 17
15 NJK Tiet 30 4 4 22 22 58 −36 16
16 Braggsville Sarian 30 1 6 23 20 72 −52 9

Hasisukas Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Aina Alla KL 30 24 5 1 72 25 +47 77
2 Kunnianosoitus SJK 30 23 3 4 86 32 +54 72
3 Ilmari FC 30 22 5 3 65 21 +44 71
4 Braggsville City 30 13 8 9 42 44 −2 47
5 Galtzada FC 30 11 9 10 43 47 −4 42
6 The Seers 30 10 8 12 35 40 −5 38
7 Kometa Kosmikoa 30 10 7 13 36 41 −5 37
8 2JK Syväsakki 30 10 6 14 38 43 −5 36
9 Gaitzikikusi 90’ 30 10 6 14 32 38 −6 36
10 Haamulanka HJK 30 8 10 12 40 49 −9 34
11 Paperezko Begiak CF 30 10 4 16 44 61 −17 34
12 United Players of Myrtle 30 9 6 15 33 52 −19 33
13 Iltaavarten JK 30 8 7 15 43 55 −12 31
14 AC Hiirenansa 30 9 4 17 35 58 −23 31
15 Maansiirtokone 30 6 9 15 31 45 −14 27
16 Koslenminä LUY 30 5 7 18 24 48 −24 22

by **Gortolekua** » Sun Mar 20, 2022 5:46 pm

Footballers parade with pomp and circumstance during season-end honors ceremony
by Lempi Rey

What a season it's been for the Ohorekunnia and all of Gortoleki football. Winners, losers, promotions, relegations—there was literally everything you could have wanted in a season of football. Granted, that should have been expected in the league altogether. That's beside the point. What isn't beside the point is that this is a beautiful time for this country and the beautiful game in Gortolekua. Thirty matches across the season have brought us heroes etching their names into permanent glory, villains introducing themselves and their terror to unwanting supporters, and renegades who know how to steal and stop shows in their tracks.

A season so remarkable in the minds of Gortoleki across the nation calls for a retrospective, which brings us to this: the inaugural End of Year Honors. This inaugural listing will celebrate the players who contributed the most to the league in both quantifiable and qualitative manners. Qualitative awards are decided by four voting groups. Voters for these awards included the 288 Ohorekunnia members from the Footballers' Syndicate of Gortolekua (of which every footballer playing in Gortolekua is a member of), all 16 Ohorekunnia managers, 50 journalists and reporters, and over 4 million fans participating through online voting.

With all votes being weighted equally, each voting group's total will be increased or decreased to where every group would have the equivalent of 50 people voting from each group. A total of 1600 points are available

Of the qualitative awards, Honors Voters could select players deemed worthy of their first, second and third place votes and the points associated with them—5, 3 and 1, respectively. Honors Voters were given the following categories to submit their votes for:

Qualitative Awards

Player of the Season
For the best player in the Ohorekunnia, as deemed by voters.
Young Player of the Season
For the best young player in the Ohorekunnia, no older than 23 at the start of the season, as deemed by voters.
12th Player of the Season
For the best player off the bench in the Ohorekunnia, with no more than 6 starts for their club, as deemed by voters.
Defender of the Season
For the best defender in the Ohorekunnia, as deemed by voters.
Midfielder of the Season
For the best midfielder in the Ohorekunnia, as deemed by voters.
Attacker of the Season
For the best attacker in the Ohorekunnia, as deemed by voters.
Manager of the Season
For the best manager in the Ohorekunnia, as deemed by voters.
Team of the Season
For the dream starting 11 based on individual performances in the Ohorekunnia this season, as deemed by voters.
Votes for Team of the Season are calculated differently from other awards, and are based on each player's presence in submitted Starting XIs.

Quantitative awards, however, are more simple in determining its winner. Whichever player did the most of what gets the first place, a gold award. Second and third place awards are given in the form of silver and bronze variants, with fourth and fifth given honorable mentions for their efforts. These quantitative awards include the following:

Quantitative Awards

Golden Boot
For the footballer who scored the most goals in the Ohorekunnia in a respective season.
Golden Playmaker
For the footballer who created the most assists in the Ohorekunnia in a respective season.
Golden Glove
For a footballer who had the most clean sheets in the Ohorekunnia in a respective season.

Players who are tied for honorable mentions will each get a share of the honorable mention award. However, if there are any ties for first, second or third place, the following tiebreakers will be used for each respective award:

Tiebreakers for Quantitative Awards

Golden Boot
In the event of a tie on goals scored, whichever player has more assists will win the tiebreaker. If both goals scored and assists created are both tied, whichever player with fewer appearances will win the award based on efficiency. If goals scored, assists created, and appearances made cannot determine a tiebreaker, then both players will receive a share of their respective award; no prizewinner will be named for the award below the tied award. In the event of a tie for a bronze award, only one honorable mention will be named instead of two.
Golden Playmaker
n the event of a tie on assists created, whichever player has scored more goals will win the tiebreaker. If both goals scored and assists created are both tied, whichever player with fewer appearances will win the award based on efficiency. If assists created, goals scored, and appearances made cannot determine a tiebreaker, then both players will receive a share of their respective award; no prizewinner will be named for the award below the tied award. In the event of a tie for a bronze award, only one honorable mention will be named instead of two.
Golden Glove
n the event of a tie on clean sheets, then whichever player with the lower goals against average to three decimal places with standard rounding rules applied—calculated by number of goals conceded divided by number of appearances—will win the tiebreaker. If both clean sheets and goals against average are tied, whichever goalkeeper with more appearances will win, based on season longevity. If clean sheets, goals against average, and appearances are all tied, then both players will receive a share of their respective award; no prizewinner will be named for the award below the tied award. In the event of a tie for a bronze award, only one honorable mention will be named instead of two.

Below are the quantitative winners for Season I of the Ohorekunnia.

Quantitative Awards
Golden Boot

Drummond Douglas (1.FC Goudini), 25 goals - Golden Boot
Darby Innes (KftA Lehoi Hegodun), 24 goals - Silver Boot
Thankful Gibson (1.FC Goudini), 23 goals - Bronze Boot
Judith Berge (Tähti Roverit JK), 21 goals - Honorable Mention
Torcull Allan (1. Turvatyyny TJK), 19 goals - Honorable Mention

1.FC Goudini led the league in goals scored this season with a whopping 73, and it's no surprise that two of the top five for the Golden Boot race are from that very club. Drummond Douglas, forecasted earlier in the season to be pivotal for his club, won the Golden Boot by a goal over Lehoi Hegodun's devilishly clinical Darby Innes. But it's Thankful Gibson's surprise appearance at the No. 3 spot with 23 goals drawing eyes and ears over to the striker partnership down in The Arcadias. "Quite frankly, I didn't think I would have this baller of a season," said Gibson, whose previous high in any given season was 16 goals. "My body should be starting to wear on me pretty soon, but at 31, I'm surprised it hasn't happened now! Just really grateful for it all, you know?" Judith Berge, the teenage phenom from Tähti Roverit, and Torcull Allan—who opened the season scoring in five straight matches for 1. Turvatyyny TJK— round out the top five with 21 and 19 goals respectively.

Golden Playmaker

Myra Randal (1.FC Goudini), 30 assists - Golden Playmaker
Rosalía Bengoetxea (SC Tiedemessut), 24 assists - Silver Playmaker
Sidney Mills (FC Suteakuepa), 23 assists - Bronze Playmaker
Ivor Esteban (Päiväunelijoita KUY), 19 assists - Honorable Mention
Melody Hyland (RJK Joskus), 18 assists - Honorable Mention

Much like the race for Golden Boot, the race for Golden Playmaker ended up in Goudini hands. Myra Randal needed to play a role if she wanted success for her and her club; while she missed out on the collective success, which she says "definitely matters more, of course," Randal's individual success lands her the Ohorekunnia's inaugural Golden Playmaker Award. "Don't get me wrong, this shit still rocks, but I know we can come back next season and add on and hopefully fight for top four," Randal added. The rest of the Playmaker honorees, however, are middle-of-the-pack clubs. Silver Playmaker Roaslía Bengoetxea, of SC Tiedemessut, is hoping to find a different club before the start of the next Ohorekunnia. She's not hiding it either; the 22-year-old made it aware to all in attendance for the Honors Gala. "I never, ever, ever want to be mid-table again," Bengoetxea said, clutch in one hand and cocktail in another. "If you want me to create so many goals you'll have no idea what to deal with, my agent's also at this thing. Find him and tell him why you want me." Multiple sources confirm to Totegia that Ivor Esteban and Melody Hyland, respectively the Bronze Playmaker and Honorable Mention, are also looking for new clubs. They're either listed, or soon to be listed on the transfer market.

Golden Glove

Malone Newport (Kyynel PK), 15 clean sheets - Golden Glove
Marciano Spalding (FC Suteakuepa), 13 clean sheets - Silver Glove
Usko Calhoun (1. Turvatyyny TJK), 12 clean sheets - Bronze Glove
Rigmor Ragnvaldsson (Tähti Roverit JK), 11 clean sheets - Honorable Mention
María Vanhanen (FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale), 10 clean sheets - Honorable Mention

Sure, nobody ever wants to see Kyynel PK matches for the most part: they're defensive slobberknockers of matches that make no sense at all logically. It's amazing to see everyone in their respective position, but still be absolutely defensive on the pitch. But for the weird people out there who love good defensive showings, Malone Newport's goalkeeping is key to it all. His shot-stopping, distribution, and intuition make him a goalkeeper to remember. He knows when to run out, he knows how to make a save, and most importantly: he knows how to keep a clean sheet. His 15 make him this year's Golden Glove winner. But for Silver Glove winner Marciano Spalding, it may not be long before a new club signs his talents soon—he rejected a new contract from FC Suteakuepa. "Look, nobody in this country could leave before, so now that I've got an opportunity to explore the world, I want to do just that. Play somewhere new that I haven't gone before, hopefully. Which would be anywhere."

And now for the Qualitative Award winners.

Qualitative Awards
Manager of the Season

Bárbara Sanderson, Astraalitaso (1146 points)
Harleigh Toivonen, FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale (200 points)
Mariano Faulkner, 1.FC Goudini (167 points)

There's no doubt Bárbara Sanderson was a lock for Manager of the Season at the start of the year—she coaches really high-octane, balanced football teams who are such a delight to watch. And there's no doubt now that she's earned that award from her peers and players, plus the press and passionate fans. But there definitely was a point in which she wasn't going to even be eligible for the award, had one Astraalitaso result gone the wrong way for her. "I was stupid to get my point across in that manner, but I felt like it was my responsibility to hold myself accountable," Sanderson said of her plans to resign if one more loss brought them into the relegation zone following Matchday Eighteen. "I wasn't trying to win this award, I was trying to keep my team up." But the massive amounts of admiration still flocked in from everyone to award her Manager of the Season.

"Barbs has got the massive swagger needed to succeed in the position. Not many gaffers can make such a bold promise like that and come out ahead if they're not confident in what they do," runner-up Harleigh Toivonen said following the ceremony. "Her being able to do just that, and do that well on top of it, is remarkable yet not surprising coming from her. Hopefully the flukier parts of this season won't happen next year—except against us, of course!"

Defender of the Season

Kauko Scrivener, Tähti Roverit JK (789 points)
Garland Toivonen, 1. Turvatyyny TJK (308 points)
Julio Saarinen, Tähti Roverit JK (304 points)

The editorial staff of Totegia could not stress enough how important Scrivener and Saarinen are to Tähti Roverit JK's style of play; hell, the club philosophy is something that the pair of fullbacks embody. Sure, the right-back ended up winning thanks to his offensive supplement in addition to his defensive contributions, but they know they wouldn't be here without the other. The one player who was here without them is Garland Toivonen, the Turvatyyny right back who helped out with his club's 12 clean sheets. To put it in perspective: In the five matches Toivonen did not make an appearance in, Turvatyyny did not have a clean sheet. In the three matches where Toivonen came on as a substitute, Turvatyyny did not have a clean sheet. Twelve clean sheets across 22 starts means he helped bring in a clean-sheet about every other start. "I'm just playing my part," Toivonen said. "I take my job seriously, and I know my teammates do too as well."

Midfielder of the Season

Karissa Lynton, Kyynel PK (689 points)
Myra Randal, 1.FC Goudini (524 points)
Rosalía Bengoetxea, SC Tiedemessut (190 points)

Sure, you've got the 1 and 2 for the Golden Playmaker award as second and third for the Midfielder of the Season award. But if there's one thing many of our multiversal readers will learn about Gortolekua is that we love our defensive midfielders. And Karissa Lynton is the creme of the crop when it comes to this current batch of defensive midfielders. She's the peak of anti-creativity, stopping many of the oppositions' burgeoning attacks in her tracks. Lynton means business whenever she steps onto the pitch. "I'm honored by the recognition from my peers," Lynton said. "I know there's many great midfielders out there, and I'm flattered you think I'm one of them. Because that's not what you say when you're playing against me!"

Attacker of the Season

Torcull Allan, 1. Turvatyyny TJK (803 points)
Drummond Douglas, 1.FC Goudini (397 points)
Judith Berge, Tähti Roverit JK (256 points)

While there was much to celebrate for Tocull Allan, described as "one of the most complete strikers out there right now" during the awards ceremony, the chagrin of KftA Lehoi Hegodun supporters was Salvador Foster stormed the stage before Allan could enjoy his moment. Foster, visibly intoxicated, went straight to denouncing the results. "This awards ceremony is stupid, stupid stupid! You cannot tell me Darby Innes isn't top three, let alone the best in this country," Foster said while being whisked away by security. "You're all a joke, you're a farce, everyone is a farce! Just wait and see next season. With god as my witness, you better fucking see!" Allan, making his way on stage as Foster embarrassingly made his way off, was more humble in his words. "It's a team effort, I appreciate all of you, and I don't feel like I deserve this," Allan said. "But if you're rocking with me, then I promise you I'll keep doing my best for you."

12th Player of the Season

Ainsley Butts, Berriaordena GZ (626 points)
Pia Iturburua, Päiväunelijoita KUY (586 points)
Laura Summers, FC Suteakuepa (194 points, equal second place votes)
Torhild Zubizarreta, Astraalitaso(194 points, equal second place votes)

Ainsley Butts is a hot-headed, narcissistic, self-centered, prima donna player, and she's the first person in the world to tell you that. "I believe myself to be extremely qualified at what I do," Butts told Totegia prior to the ceremony. "They get mad at me for not being humble, and that's okay. I'm the shit, and I know I'm the shit. If you were the best writer in the world wouldn't you love to let everyone know?" I'm not the best writer in the world, and Ainsley Butts is not the best player in the world.

But she is damn good at what she does, admittedly, and while it might be too much for her to learn some humility—which has led to her being on the bench instead of the starting 11—it definitely is a testament that she was still Berriaordena's leading scorer this past season. But she doesn't want to be the Order's top scorer. Hell, she doesn't want to be one of their players next season. Butts confirmed to Totegia that she is listed on the transfer market, and is hoping clubs from abroad bite. "Am I burning bridges here in the country? Possibly. But I know how to swim, use a parachute, or whatever I need to do if I have to jump off a burning bridge."

Young Player of the Season

Judith Berge (18 y/o), Tähti Roverit JK (700 points)
Clement Selby (16 y/o), 1.FC Goudini (698 points)
Lía Lindsey (19 y/o), SD Marrirubia (166 points)

In what was the closest race for any of the Qualitative Awards this season, one starlet striker beat another starlet striker to win the Young Player of the Season Award. Mateo Legea, one of the voting journalists from Press Box Magazine—and one whose vote counts 1-for-1—ranked Berge first and Selby second. Legea told Totegia that he struggled with deciding between first and second. "Maybe they should let more journalists vote just so I'm not the poor sucker being pinned for this kind of thing," Legea said, following an extensive marketing tour pointing out his decision in order to get people to subscribe to Press Box Magazine during their GŚż-1/month deal. "I totally didn't do this at all to get more clicks and more money."

Whatever Legea said doesn't matter. What does matter is that it really was a toss-up between Berge and Selby for the award. Berge, on top of her 21 goals this past season, also lended a helping hand (or foot) with 12 assists this year. Selby's 16 goals—one for each year of their life—and 8 assists across 19 appearances sounds unbelievable, but considering 1.FC Goudini leading the league in goals created, it's not surprised that club found someone that brings extra gas to the club's high octane football. And kudos have to be given to the young SD Marrirubia centre back Lía Lindsey. She kept her club from bleeding out more goals than necessary, even though they let 58 goals get by; sources close to Lindsey say she is unhappy with the defensive gaps, and is looking for a transfer out of the club during the window.

Player of the Season

Mapla Salinas, FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale (597 points)
Darby Innes, KftA Lehoi Hegodun (428 points)
Torcull Allan, 1. Turvatyyny TJK (362 points)

Yes, the voters are weird in not having Mapla Salinas be in the top three for any of the awards she was eligible for, but there's that cliché of "watching the match and not seeing Player X, but watching Player X and you'll be watching more than just the match" that I hate and see many of my colleagues use in describing players.

Mapla Salinas is the only player who, in my humble opinion as a reporter, accurately reflects the cliché. Nine goals and 12 assists while making 27 appearances is a respectable statline, but if hockey assists were an official statistic in football, Salinas would be leading that category a million times over. Her insight, and watching that insight unfold over the span of 90-plus minutes, is what makes football the beautiful game it is. Not to discredit other players like Darby Innes or Torcull Allan (who again: are in this country's elite for a reason), but Mapla Salinas makes football fun.

"It's crazy so many of my peers think of me to be the best player in the league, but I'm appreciative for everyone of my teammates and my opponents," Salinas told Totegia backstage following her receiving of the award. "We play a kid's game at the end of the day, and we have to keep football fun. Winning is big. I wouldn't be a winner if I didn't want to win. But if playing it isn't fun, then football isn't worth it."

Team of the Season
Formation: 4-3-3
GK: Malone Newport (GTK) - Kyynel PK - 29 appearances (0G/0A)
LB: Julio Saarinen (GTK) - Tähti Roverit JK - 30 appearances (4G/12A)
CB: Rocío Guadarrama (GTK) - FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale - 26 appearances (1G/0A)
CB: Garland Toivonen (GTK) 1. Turvatyyny TJK - 25 appearances (1G/0A)
RB: Kauko Scrivener (GTK) - Tähti Roverit JK - 25 appearances (5G/13A)
DM: Karissa Lynton (GTK) - Kyynel PK - 22 appearances (0G/2A)
CM: Mapla Salinas (GTK) - FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale - 27 appearances (9G/12A)
CM: Myra Randal (GTK) - 1.FC Goudini - 23 appearances (3G/30A)
LW: Darby Innes (GTK) - KftA Lehoi Hegodun - 30 appearances (24G/8A)
RW: Catrine Mäkinen (GTK) - Tähti Roverit JK - 30 appearances (10G/4A)
ST: Torcull Allan (GTK) - 1. Turvatyyny TJK - 29 appearances (19A/12G)

Sure, there are snubs on here that you might be thinking "where's X, where's Y?" But a lot of Gortoleki know this squad on paper would be pretty rocking to put forth initially, say to an international tournament like a Baptism of Fire, or try to pull off a surprising result during what will be seen as an inevitably challenging World Cup Qualifier cycle. But with those, you can pick and choose more than just a starting 11. For a pure and exclusive XI, this honestly is a solid collection of players, if I do say so myself.

Onto the next season.

by **Gortolekua** » Sun Mar 27, 2022 11:04 am

Whose transfer is it anyways? Plus, recapping the first IFCF campaigns for Gortoleki clubs
by Lempi Rey

Well, that was an offseason, I’ll say that.

We’ve had a good break from football, but it is now back and rolling once again. The country’s first full year of international relations means we’ve had our first ever multiversal transfer window, sending and receiving players from all over the place. Congratulations to the following players for becoming history-makers in entering or leaving Gortolekua; you may as well be your nation’s respective ambassador:

International Top-Flight Transfers
Quincy Poe (ST, 21, BRO): AFC Richmond (BRO) → Berriaordena GZ for Gśż133,000
Iacopo Fantacci (ST, 25, SOR): Gallant Cross (BRE) → FC Suteakupea for Gśż400,000
Ivor Esteban (CM, 20, GTK): Päiväunelijoita KUY → Sporting Arkamo (ASG) for Gśż1.07 million
Piia Heikkilä (GK, 31, GTK): KftA Lehoi Hegodun → Parakleion Firebirds FC (TKT) for Gśż667,000
Fumio Tagawa (CB, 23, KOR): SC Sokrona (KOR) → SD Marrirubia for Gśż1.73 million
Charissa Hyde (LWB, 29, GTK) Päiväunelijoita KUY → AFC Rochford (NPH) for Gśż400,000
Lía Lindsey (CB, 19, GTK) SD Marrirubia → Southern Star (BRE) for Gśż400,000
Åge Lindbeck (ST, 26, GTK): Astraalitaso → AFC Swanbridge (BRE) for Gśż267,000
Eidren Kalitas (GK, 33, SRS): Winnipeg United (QUE) → KftA Lehoi Hegodun for Gśż133,000
Sigrid Blaxland (ST, 32, NPH): Northern (SFD) → Astraalitaso for Gśż600,000
Dane Chase (CM, 29, GTK): 1.FC Goudini → Essidise Titans (BRO) for Gśż400,000
Taylor Browne (CM, 26, CDG): Starksville United (CDG) → 1.FC Goudini for Gśż867,000
Derrick Rasmussen (DM, 19, GTK): Basozuria SF → Galaxy SC (XAN) for Gśż666,000
"Rebel Yell" Azusa Manami (CB, 26, HIN): Kven FK (ZRH) → Berriaordena GZ on a free
Myry Vivar (CF, 16, AUD): Osarese Marcadia (AUD) → Voitamatton AJK on a free
Natalie Outerridge (AM, 30, GTK): Lumipalloja JK → Coventry Harvesters (CDG) on a free
Landen Pilgrim (DM, 32, GTK): Berriaordena GZ → Coventry Harvesters (CDG) on a free
Permelia Karppinen (DM/CM, 35, GTK): Kyynel PK → Pearlham SC (XAN) on a free
Mario Peduzzi (CM, 24, MCO): AC Croscia (MCO) → Kyynel PK on a free
Connor Miller (CM, 32, ETN): Ogroven Vanguardi FK (ZRH) → RJK Joskus on a free

A fair amount of international market work leaves us with some surprising names departing the country: Pia Heikkilä heads out of San Marko by joining Parakleion Firebirds in Tikariot. It might come as a surprise to longtime Ohorekunnia followers (a.k.a. People who followed the last season) that Heikkilä left such a fabled club in Lehoi Hegodun but, because I did not do my due diligence as a reporter, her departure should have been on the horizon. The 31-going-on-32-year-old goalkeeper found many of manager Salvador Foster’s behavior and decision-making to be questionable at best and unprofessional at worst, sources tell Totegia. Heikkilä herself even admits to the questionable nature of the club’s environment. “When a manager shows up drunk and mad that none of their players received any year-end honors votes, don’t be surprised to find out you might be the reason why your peers, employees and fans don’t vote for them—let alone yourself,” Heikkilä wrote in her goodbye message to Lehoi Hegodun fans.

Lehoi Hegodun manager Salvador Foster did not return a comment in time for publication.

Across some of the other notable international departures, Ivor Esteban and Lía Lindsey, two of Gortolekua’s most promising young footballers, have departed for greener pastures at two commendable clubs: Sporting Arkamo in Astograth for the former, and Southern Star in Brenecia for the latter. Ivor Esteban is a talented young midfielder filled with so much promise and potential—he did win back-to-back Perjantaina provincial titles as a teenager—shook off whatever yips he had last season.

I predicted Esteban to not be as efficient as he used to be, but I was proven wrong. Nineteen assists, good for fourth-best in the league? That’ll earn a move on up to a better league. Meanwhile, Lindsey joined the Lions following a frustrating season for her new club; they finished sixth and missed out on IFCF spots on goal differential. She’ll be joining a club in a similar situation in Brenecia’s Southern Star; it’s no surprise they’re looking to fortify their squad.

“I know this club doesn’t tolerate missing out on goals. This club won the league three seasons back, and I understand it’s a whole new field out there,” Lindsey told Totegia following her confirmed transfer. “Rest assured there will be no slacking from me. They ask for 100 percent? I’ll give 110 percent. It’s a massive honor to play in such a league, and now I’ve got to prove my worth. No wrong foots from me.”

As for arrivals, the big stand-out name from the international arrivals is Ko-orenite centre back Fumio Tagawa. Replacing the departing Lindsey, Tagawa is perching himself to play his hand in what many Marriubian fans hope to be their best shot for IFCF spots. The Ruby Sailors, who finished sixth in the previous Ohorekunnia, scored a commendable 62 goals while conceding the most goals of any team finishing in the top half of the table, at 58. We know Tagawa has a high ceiling, but also an extremely low ceiling if the pieces don’t fall into place. Not to imply any sort of pressure, but Tagawa can either be the crown jewel or scapegoat for his new club this year. Thirty matches will tell it all.

Myry Vivar, the Audioslav who couldn’t find a professional contract with his previous club Osarese Marcadia, has been damned to Gortolekua. At least, in the minds of those following him, that is. It’s amazing that just ahead of the second Ohorekunnia, a player, albeit a very inconsistent one, from a well-established footballing country with the best league in the world is joining a Gortoleki club. Sure, there may or may not have been some circumnavigation regarding the 18-player squad rules. Voitamatton AJK allegedly paid the Gortoleki Football Union to add an extra roster spot for this season. GFU President Vinicio Järvi may or may not be a Voitamatton supporter. Voitamatton may or may not be revolving their gameplans around Vivar, which could give them the highest riches or the lowest rags. One thing is for certain: Voitamatton sporting director Marti MacLeod is a gambler going all-in for a 16-year-old player, and the odds may not be in his favor.

Domestic Top-Flight Transfers
Gerd Puga (CB, 31, GTK): Astraalitaso → Voitamatton AJK on a free
Sofia Mein (CM, 33, GTK) FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale → Voitamatton AJK on a free
Marciano Spalding (GK, 34, GTK): FC Suteakuepa → fc auringonottaja on a free
Frederick Pearce (CM, 26, GTK): FC Suteakuepa → Top de Afaragloto on a free
Linnea Herman (GK, 30, GTK): Kyynel PK → Top de Afaragloto on a free
Martin Fairchild (GK, 17, GTK): Basozuria SF → Astraalitaso on a two-way academy/pro contract for Gśż300,000
Thankful Gibson (ST, 32, GTK): 1.FC Goudini → Päiväunelijoita KUY for Pia Iturburua and Gśż500,000
Pia Iturburua (ST, 23, GTK): Päiväunelijoita KUY → 1.FC Goudini for Thankful Gibson
Rosalía Bengoetxea (CM/AM, 23, GTK): SC Tiedemessut → FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale for Gśż750,000
Trygve Håkansson (CM/RM, 28, GTK): Tähti Roverit JK → Päiväunelijoita KUY for Gśż515,000
Misha Saarinen (AM, 23, GTK): FC Suteakuepa → SC Tiedemessut for Gśż490,000
Nikolas Pereyra (DM/CM, 30, GTK): SD Marriubia → FC Suteakuepa for Gśż415,000
Katelyn Arrington (CB, 22, GTK): SC Tiedemessut → Kyynel PK for Gśż394,000
Hanna Laakkonen (CB/LB/LWB, 30, GTK): FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale → Astraalitaso for Gśż275,000
Roy Close (LM/LWB, 27, GTK): SFC Hiria → Päiväunelijoita KUY for Gśż225,000
Kimball Perez (ST, 35, GTK): Berriaordena GZ → fc auringonottaja for Gśż100,000
Oralie Colton (ST/AM, 27, GTK): Lumipalloja JK → FC Suteakupea for Gśż100,000
Ainsley Butts (ST, 33, GTK): Berriaordena GZ JK → Top de Afaragloto for Gśż75,000
Aindrea Edwards (CB, 20, GTK): Berriaordena GZ → SC Tiedemessut for an undisclosed fee
Porfirio Marquez (GK, 35, GTK): RJK Joskus → FC Suteakupea for an undisclosed fee
Joylon Danell (ST, 20, GTK): FC Suteakuepa → Kyynel PK for an undisclosed fee
Marc Hunnisett (RW/RWB, 30, GTK): Kyynel PK → 1.FC Goudini for an undisclosed fee
Shania Figueroa (RM, 27, GTK): 1.FC Goudini → 1. TJK Turvatyyny for an undisclosed fee
Daniel Hermenegildo (RW, 28, GTK): 1. TJK Turvatyyny → Kyynel PK for an undisclosed fee
Emma Wang (CB/LB, 30, GTK): Tähti Roverit JK → SD Marrirubia for an undisclosed fee
Oiva Olesen (RB/RWB, 32, GTK): Tähti Roverit JK → FC Suteakuepa for an undisclosed fee
Vera Cuesta (RW/RWB, 22, GTK): Voitamatton AJK → Tähti Roverit JK for an undisclosed fee

If you had asked us who would be involved in the domestic transfer window’s biggest move for 99 percent of it, Rosalía Bengoetxea would be the answer. Of course, much of it is supplanted by the fact she had her breakout season and publicly declared that she wanted a new club. And of course, she got her wish by joining defending champions FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale. And even now, it’s still a baller move for Kappale to sign last season’s Silver Playmaker with last year’s championship contenders (KftA Lehoi Hegeodun, 1. Turvatyyny TJK, Tähti Roverit JK) and teams looking to make a step up (1.FC Goudini, SD Marriubia, Voitamatton AJK) wanting to fight for IFCF spots.

But Rosalía Bengoetxea has a habit for getting shown up when it really matters.

Thankful Gibson, who scored 23 goals last season, is joining Päiväunelijoita KUY in exchange for 12th Player runner-up (really the 13th Player of the Year) Pia Iturburua. 1.FC Goudini is also sending over cash considerations in exchange for Iturburua, giving the Albatrosses a powerful attacking rotation of Iturburua, Clement Selby and Drummond Douglas. Three of those factors and who knows? Maybe 72 goals is just a floor, and not the ceiling.

“Pia is going to bring us a lethal combination for years to come alongside Clement. We know Dougie’s only got a few years left in him, but he’s got goals until then,” 1.FC Goudini manager Mariano Faulkner said during Iturburua’s introductory press conference. “I know all three are going to kill it with our rapid-fire attack. And that Taylor Browne kid who just knows how to run? Oooh baby, you’ve got a stew going.”

Meanwhile, the actual 12th Player of the Year has finally found a home, albeit not where she wants to be. Ainsley Butts, the former Berriaordena GZ striker who scored 12 goals and one assist across eight appearances, signed for the recently promoted Top de Afaragloto for the lowest of confirmed transfer fees. Sure, she is 33 years old and starting to slow down, but she still keeps telling everyone that has the pleasure of running into her that she should have been in the bigs. But she knows she’s burnt bridges. Instead, she’s off to a newly-promoted club, whose chances of staying up are less than optimal. She promised Totegia during the Honors Ceremony she knew how to swim. This is her chance to prove just that.

A three-team carousel of transfers also took place among some of the league’s top-half teams: Daniel Hermenegildo, the 28-year old right winger seen to be just a bit too slow, is departing Turvatyyny for Kyynel, which triggered right wingback’s Marc Hunnisett’s departure to 1.FC Goudini. And that transfer allowed for Shania Figueroa, the most promising and reliable of the three players to join Turvatyyny from Goudini. All in all, this is as close of wins that you can get for all three clubs: Kyynel gets someone who can play to their tempo and enough speed for them on the wings, Goudini gets a ping king on the wing to get even more balls into the box, and Turvatyyny finally finds someone faster than Daniel Hermenegildo. But if I had to pick a winner for this carousel, 1.FC Goudini might just have the edge over the three that can put them into that top four spot they missed out by just a point last season.

The other notable transfers to point out for our readers are the dropping of defensive deadweight from the Tähti Roverit squad. Emma Wang, the club’s starting center-back is departing to SD Marriubia to create depth on the club’s bench and form an attractive defensive partnership with the exciting Ko-orenite prospect Fumio Tagawa. Wang’s departure opens up a rejuvenating of the backline for the Star Rovers, as well as the first-team call-up for exciting centre back prospect Félix Thorsen. Oiva Olesen’s departure, on the other hand, is meant to clear up some team fodder while allowing Frantziska Robertsen the chance to star in the starting 11.

IFCF Qualifiers
And now with the off-season and transfer window in the rear view mirror, the first ever session of Gortoleki summer ball took place in the name of IFCF Qualifiers.

FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale, the reigning champions, is Gortolekua’s lone representative in the Champions League. The Gortoleki representatives for the Challengers Cup are KftA Lehoi Hegodun, Tähti Roverit JK, and 1. Turvatyyny TJK. And the nation’s Liga B Champions Trophy participants are Top de Afaragloto, Voitamatton AJK, and fc auringonottaja.

Champions League First Qualifying Round

(BRO)                      FC 69 Norwegian wood    1–3    FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale                      (GTK)   1–3   0–0

It was a dream start for Kappale, who managed to get all their work done on the road in the first leg. Despite 69 Norwegian wood’s early first half lead, Player of the Season Mapla Salinas opened up scoring for Kappale in the 32nd minute with her equalizer. While the score remained level at the half, new club signing Rosalía Bengoetxea wowed the away crowd with a memorable goal from 18 yards outside the box at the 61st minute. The club cemented its first leg victory with a penalty awarded to substitute striker Jose Maria Chandler in the 84th minute.

Challengers Cup Preliminary Round

(GTK)                        KftA Lehoi Hegodun    3–5    AC Croscia                                (MCO)   2–2   1–3
(GTK)                         1. Turvatyyny TJK    2–1    Gugola United                             (NYK)   1–1   1–0
(GTK)                          Tähti Roverit JK    4–2    Mount Olympus FC                          (TFS)   1–1   3–1

Gortolekua wins when KftA Lehoi Hegodun loses, or at least that’s what the newly found saying goes. But ask those across the Haize Eklektikoa province, there was no love lost between its residents and the club. Either way, this country loves to see an angry Salvador Foster; KftA’s manager was alarmed by a draw at home, despite two early goals from Darby Innes and Inkeri Nykvist in the first leg. While Innes was able to get on the scoresheet again on the second leg, a poorly calculated call to bring out new goalkeeper signing Eidren Kalitas for a corner kick led to a third conceded goal against the Winged Lions, and an early end to their IFCF journey. Kalitas was seen storming past Foster following full-time against Croscia despite acknowledging his teammates and opponents.

It was a lighter story for Turvatyyny and Tähti Roverit, despite similar situations to Lehoi Hegodun. Both clubs were able to scrape late-match draws—Judith Berge for the Star Rovers, and Torcull Allan for Turvatyyny. The second legs of their matches were different stories; Turvatyyny needed to hold off a Gugola United squad that kept finding the right space for most of the match. But they managed to hold off with the help of a 9th-minute Ildefonso Turnbull goal.

For Tähti Roverit, though? Man, oh man, was there some beauty in that second leg away from home. Julio Saarinen made a rare appearance on the scoresheet to open up scoring in the second leg, and his partner on the wing Kauko Scrivener joined him minutes later. While Mount Olympus was able to bring it back to 2-1 in the 58th minute, a 74th minute goal from Silje Saarinen—Julio’s younger sister—all but confirmed another round of multiversal football for the club.

Challengers Cup First Qualifying Round

(GTK)                         1. Turvatyyny TJK    2–5    Couno Rangers                             (TMB)   2–4   0–1
(SDG)                             KS Tapaklaboh    1–3    Tähti Roverit JK                          (GTK)   1–1   0–2

Tietokone is Bruce Nolan’s town, and everyone is just living in it. And might as well edit the GortoWiki page for 1. Turvatyyny TJK to show a new club owner: Bruce Nolan. Four goals in the first leg away, and a fifth goal at home for him. Bless that man, he’s definitely showing the meaning of football at its finest. Turvatyyny fans, following their first leg defeat, offered Nolan a round of applause. You offer a dazzling showcase of football, you receive a glowing response from the crowd. It’s that simple. Strikers Kendal Browne and Edmund Traviss both got on the scoresheet for Turvatyyny, but those felt like consolation goals, even though they were to give the club a lead in the 39th minute. God bless Bruce Nolan though.

Meanwhile Tähti Roverit JK pulls off another win, this time against KS Tapaklaboh. Despite a 1-1 draw in the first leg away, with the lone goal coming from Toni Aritza, a remarkable 2-0 win against Tapaklaboh really offered showings of what could be a magical season for the Star Rovers. A surprise goal from defensive midfielder Nico Hansson plus a worldly goal from Judith Berge equals very happy fans with very happy hopes of the forthcoming season. They’re the first Gortoleki team to make it into the second round of the tournament.

Liga B Champions Trophy First Qualifying Round

(GTK)                         Top de Afaragloto    1–3    Pinehearth Phoenix                        (EOT)   1–1   0–2

For the likeliest of relegation candidates this season, Top de Afaragloto’s first preliminary round loss at least gives them the time to better prepare for the oncoming battle against the bottom three spots. A lone goal from Martha Gerhardsson in the first leg at home probably inspired some hope against Pinehearth Phoenix, and for the rest of the season altogether.

Champions League Second Qualifying Round

(OME)                      Malavan Romainsbourg    5–3    FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale                      (GTK)   2–1   3–2

And just like that, Kappale is out of the Champions League. Malavan Romainsbourg was just too strong of a club for Kappale to handle. The Omerican champions, who won their league on goal differential, certainly proved their ability to score goals to give them an edge. Kappale’s scorers include Delice Nieminen in both legs, and Wallis MacCallum in the second leg. From here, Kappale drop into the second-tier competition, the Challengers Cup, in the third qualifying round.

Challengers Cup Second Qualifying Round

(GTK)                          Tähti Roverit JK    2–1    CSKA Quebec                               (QUE)   0–0   2–1

Holy. Freaking. Shoot. Excitement levels at 40,000 this week. Encountering any club from Quebec and Shingoreyo is always going to be a daunting task. Sure, there were slight rumblings found online of Quebecois fans saying Tähti Roverit would defeat CSKA Quebec, but no Gortoleki believed that. Not even some of the Tähti Roverit players. And after a 0-0 draw at home, it seemed like their days in the Challengers Cup were numbered. But two words saved the day for the Star Rovers: Judith Berge. And what a time to deliver a brace on top of it too. Knocking out their fellow Anaian club to advance to a third qualifying round for the Challengers Cup will bring them one step closer to glory.

Liga B Champions Trophy Second Qualifying Round

(ACS)                          Sporting Kapakka    2–3    Voitamatton AJK                           (GTK)   1–2   1–1
(GTK)                         fc auringonottaja    5–0    Cow UwUnited                              (SBI)   2–0   3–0

From our two clubs who are less likely to enter the drop zone this upcoming season come two reassuring wins. Voitamatton AJK, the one club everyone in Gortolekua seemed to forget but will be pissed once they remember them, etched out a 3-2 win across two legs. A comfortable 2-1 win on the road saw goals from Elias Herrera and Asbjørn Bautista. But a Sporting Kapakka goal in the second leg leveled the tie. But Myry Vivar— Audioslav who might as well be the most undeserving king of Gortoleki football thanks to his special treatment from the GFU—managed to make his risky bet pay off this time. He scored an equalizer to send the Invincible Voitamatton through to the third round. Invincible may be a bad nickname for them right now, but if they can irk out results like this down the line? Lehoi Hegodun might not be as hated anymore.

fc auringonottaja (yes, they do emphasize the fact their club is to be referred to in all lowercase) had a much more comfortable victory compared to their fellow promoted club, winning 5-0 on aggregate. Kimball Perez was able to debut well for his new club, scoring a brace in the first leg at home. Second leg goalscorsers include sweeper Sancha Amador, striker Ståle Alexandersson, and defensive midfielder Alesander Mac Dhòmhnaill.

Challengers Cup Third Qualifying Round

(TUR)                              Tropicorp FC    5–3    FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale                      (GTK)   2–2   3–1
(CBP)                             New Bremen FC    3–0    Tähti Roverit JK                          (GTK)   2–0   1–0

Heartbreaking defeats for the two clubs remaining in the Challengers Cup. One for the opportunity afforded, the other for the fact they seemed dead on arrival.

Kappale’s first leg against Tropicorp FC inspired hope. A goal from Rosalía Bengoetxea once again, plus a rare Cruz Abarca goal meant there was some chance for a fourth qualifying round to make it to. 2-2 against a team from a renowned league, and an opportunity to seize everything at home. Everything seemed written in the stars until Intikko Kuhilana showed up to wake Kappale up from its dream. Two goals, one assist, zero hope left for Kappale to make it into Round Four. No need for a three count for Kappale. They were out for a 1-2-3-4-5 count. And it was brutal to watch.

The other brutal encounter came for Tähti Roverit, who lost pretty much in the first minute. New Bremen SC managed to score a goal within those first 60 seconds. How? I don’t even think the players could tell you. But there was a general admission from manager Anne Garcia. “We were outclassed, outplayed, outcoached, outfanned, outtactied, and—most importantly—outpassioned,” she said following her club’s elimination from the Challengers Cup. It hurts to see a team you enjoy watching (and every football reporter in this country will tell you that, so don’t complain about me being “impartial”) get neutralized and that fun sucked away from it.

At least there’s still the Liga B Champions Trophy.

Liga B Champions Trophy Third Qualifying Round

(GTK)                           Voitamatton AJK    2–4    Eau Claire United                         (DAR)   1–3   1–1
(CMT)                                 Pria City    5–1    fc auringonottaja                         (GTK)   3–1   2–0

I stand corrected. Goals from Edvin Bergman (first leg) and Louise Byström (second leg) for Votiamatton, and a lone auringonottaja goal came from Gregers Breiner. They didn't matter, though.

At least the Ohorekunnia is back soon.

by **Gortolekua** » Sun Apr 10, 2022 4:28 pm

OOC: If everything looks wonky, adjust your browser windows for maximum reading pleasure.

Ohorekunnia Season II: Eight teams try to avoid the bottom three spots in this first of two-part preview
by Lempi Rey

We did it. What seemed like the longest of off-seasons has finally ended. Clubs have confirmed their starting XIs for Matchday One, the football frenzy in this country is at its peak for the year and my mother is asking me if I’m going to have to start missing our Sunday lunches again. All this means one thing and one thing only: The Ohorekunnia is right around the corner.

Ahead of the season, Totegia is previewing all the clubs partaking and looking at all their factors and decisions to make a prediction ahead of the season and offer you our takes on who will win it all, who gets to drop and everyone else in between.

Totegia will be doing this preview in two parts. The first part will explore the predicted bottom half of Ohorekunnia squads, while the second part will preview the predicted top half of clubs, the second and third divisions and the Kalija Gortolekua's group stage—delayed from its expected start last season.

Top de Afaragloto
Starting XI
1. Linnea Herman (GK, 30, GTK)
2. Aránzazu Cockburn (CB, 31, GTK)
3. Elisabet Fisker (CB, 32, GTK)
4. Che Oquendo (LB, 25, GTK)
5. Úrsula Pardo (RB, 28, GTK) - (c)
6. Sigrun McClellan (DM, 20, GTK)
7. Frederick Pearce (CM, 26, GTK)
8. August Albrektson (CM, 19, GTK)
9. Martha Gerhardsson (ST, 25, GTK)
10. Kenneth Faulkner (RW, 23, GTK)
11. Félix Evangelista (LW, 30, GTK) - (vc)
Substitutes
12. Rolando Lange (GK, 24, GTK)
13. Leevi Garrido (CB, 28, GTK)
14. Alexis MacKenzie (LB/RB, 31, GTK)
15. Virve Villa (DM, 30, GTK)
16. Ainsley Butts (ST, 33, GTK)
17. Teresa Hilmarsson (CM, 25, GTK)
18. Eloy Jenson (LW/RW, 23, GTK)

Last Season: 3rd, Igonousta
Prediction: Bottom of the Table
Stadium: Hondartza Arrosa (27,390)
Location: Afaragloto, Ibaiaho
Manager: Daniel Roberts (4-2-3-1)
Club colors: Tangerine and forest green
Nickname(s): The Beachgoers, the
Spring Breakers, the Crammers
Fan Culture: Happy to be here
City Culture: Vibrant beachside college town

Top de Afaragloto
The Rundown
I'm gonna hate writing about this team's eventual demise, but it's going to be tough given just how stacked the rest of the league is. Top de Afaragloto isn't your typical football club: For starters, their professional ascent into the higher echelons of Ibaiahoense football, and now Gortoleki football, should have happened way down the road, if at all. Afaragloto was, as of a decade ago, a university squad that played in collegiate leagues. (There's still that connection with the Unibertsitae Afaragloto—their home ground of Hondartza Arrosa is on campus grounds.) But a desire to turn professional and see what they had in store proved to be a gamble that paid off well. Consistent performances throughout the years have culminated in Afaragloto finishing third in the Igonousta, despite my and my colleagues' predictions that it wouldn't happen last year, now bring us a passionate, yet young and relatively experienced, group of players who are going to give it their all, but their all may not be good enough.
The Hope
Finishing 13th would be a dream. You don't prop up and drop down right away, you show you've got mettle to play with the big kids, and you get to showcase Afaragloto to the rest of the country and the world. But to do that, there needs to be a massive amount of good work coming from the entire squad, of course, but more particularly three players: right-winger Kenneth Faulkner, left-back Che Oquendo and defensive midfielder Sigrun McClellan. Faulkner is going to be your guy responsible for cutting inside and bagging in unstoppable goals. The catch is that he's not the fastest winger, so he's going to rely on McClellan for finding the right space to make those shots; she also needs command a relatively off-kilter backline to not give up goals and maintain any chance of staying afloat, with one exception: Oquendo. Injury prone as he is, if he gets a good run of games, he's really going to make some opposing players feel extra sore in their legs and their shins. Rarely picks up a booking, let alone fouls, but he might as well have only one knee.
The Reality
Outside of those three players, and really only Sigrun McClellan, there's not much talent out here to maintain a top flight stint for as long as they're hoping to maintain it. Everyone else is sort of rundown enough to the point where the squad's collective glory days of being able to hold up in the top flight is now behind it. You can even see it in each of these players' eyes. They know there's not much hope for them to stay in the Ohorekunnia past this season, but damn it do they want to try. Besides, I think everyone would be okay with having more Afaragloto away days in the top flight. The only question now is: Will they play to make sure they can survive? Most bets, writers and fans say "no" to that question. But by all means, please do try and prove everyone wrong.

RJK Joskus
Starting XI
1. Laurencia Obando (GK, 32, GTK)
2. Amílcar Thomas (LB, 30, GTK)
3. Louise Rosales (CB, 32, GTK)
4. Cordell McReynolds (CB/RB, 28, GTK)
5. Melody Hyland (RB/CB, 29, GTK) - (vc)
6. Brody Stanton (CM, 31, GTK)
7. Rami Zayn (CM/AM, 28, GTK)
8. Greer MacKenzie (DM, 25, GTK)
9. Chastity Davison (ST, 35, GTK) - (c)
10. Melody Hyland (AM, 29, GTK)
11. Brody Stanton (ST, 23, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Tahlia Reynell (CM, 30, GTK)
13. Taylor Paiodia (GK, 21, GTK)
14. Connor Miller (CM/DM, 32, ETN)
15. Jade Thompkins (AM/ST, 30, GTK)
16. Sari Troy (ST, 32, GTK)
17. George Woolf (RB/DM, 25, GTK)
18. Theobald Otxoa (CB/LB, 28, GTK)

Last Season: 9th, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: Relegation Candidate
Stadium: Butcher’s Shield (61,991)
Location: Rakkaudeton, Kenkuijo
Manager: Colm Googe (4-1-2-1-2)
Club colors: Pink (many shades), cream
(one shade)
Nickname(s): Aggro-culturists, the
Aggressives, Joskii
Fan Culture: Pretentiously unaware of
how they act; wannabe cool
City Culture: Agricultural metropolis

RJK Joskus
The Rundown
Last season turned out to be alright for RJK Joskus. Comfortably in the middle, nothing to expect or anticipate, really other than adequate mediocrity in the squad. And when the apocalyptic idea of relegation is far from the forefront of one's mind, it's understandable to get comfortable with how things are looking now and not think about the future.

The future is now, though, and Josksus may need to prepare for a contingency plan sooner rather than later. The average age of the club’s starting 11 is nearing 30, but the core players are venturing closer to 40 than they are 30. Might as well hand them their senior citizen discounts. So you’ve got not enough young players able to come through the academy quickly enough before a likelihood of relegation comes to fruition. I know this, you know this and your neighbor who thinks they’re too good for following football but knows deep down it’s their only personality trait knows this—disaster is on the way when you don’t have any players lined up.
The Hope
Well, much like Top de Afaragloto, the hope for Joskus is to stay up this time around. But that would be lazy Sports Analysis from a Paid Writer™, so I’ll offer more of an insight that proves I’m not just doing this #ForTheClicks: Joskus, if they can play the same way they did last season against the presumably invincible Father Time, can finish top half if their deck of cards plays out right. I mean, what’s there not to question it, other than the glaringly obvious age factor? And if matters aren’t to get any better, defensive midfielder Greer MacKenzie is coming up on contract renewal talks. Any question of relegation means this pretty solid player is going to go following season’s end. She knows, again, how to thread excellent passes—even as a bonafide holding midfielder—but it’s just a matter of whether or not her teammates can catch up to these passes in time. Same with new club signing Connor Miller of Ethane; he’s definitely had his day in the sun before, but tasking him as a defensive midfielder when he’s certainly been more known as a center midfielder. Will he be able to turn back the clock when Joskii needs it?
The Reality
So here we are, facing the fact that Greer MacKenzie isn’t going to be the end-all-be-all solution for RJK Joskus, and that she can’t stop her teammates from aging any more (if she can, please tell her to call me as well). Outside of Afaragloto, they’re the one other team most experts, myself included, find to be dropping down into the Igonousta ahead of next season. Too old, too unreliable, not enough strengths to mask the weaknesses—they’re all negative notes that should play a role in seeing this team get sent down at season’s end.

SC Tiedemessut
Starting XI
1. Rusty Campo (GK, 26, GTK) - (c)
2. Suzanne Bermúdez (RB, 19, GTK)
3. Dwayne Snyder (LB, 21, GTK)
4. Aindrea Edwards (CB, 20, GTK)
5. Emma Gary (CB, 27, GTK) - (vc)
6. Brendan Mac Iomhair (DM, 20, GTK)
7. Linnea Coburn (CM, 23, GTK)
8. Martirio Jarvis (CM, 19, GTK)
9. Caden Petit (ST, 20, GTK)
10. Delano Andrés (AM, 24, GTK
11. Misha Saarinen (AM/CM, 23, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Gema Haynes (GK, 19, GTK)
13. Fionnghal Tyler (FB, 32, GTK)
14. Charleigh Sheach (CB/DM, 36, GTK)
15. Ana Leonardson (DM/CM, 37, GTK)
16. Conrado Rayne (CM/AM, 35, GTK)
17. Casimir Gunnarsen (ST, 36, GTK)
18. Vilhelmi Hudson (CB, 18, GTK)

Last Season: 11th, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: Relegation Candidate
Stadium: Laboratoriopuisto (37,820)
Location: Tiedemessut, Mustamaa
Manager: Cebrián García (4-3-2-1)
Club colors: Tan, teal
Nickname(s): The Scientists, Lab Rat XI,
Koehenkilöt
Fan Culture: Passionately biased, yet
intelligently aware of their club’s
shortcomings
City Culture: Many, many, many
pharmaceutical buildings

SC Tiedemessut
The Rundown
Pour one out for any semblance of hope The Scientists had in terms of building something better off their 11th place finish in the last Ohorekunnia. You can hear the most lovely and slowest of claps coming from their fanbase to Rosalía Bengoetxea, breaking out last season and telling her team "I'm good. You're not. Let me leave." A star player wanting to leave never does morale any good. I mean, kudos to the club for getting as much money as they could squeeze from FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale on that one, but let's be real here: she was the one true thread able to hold the rest of the team together and make sure they didn't slip any further than they were allowed to last season. What's left? A still young squad combined with an extremely old bench that may as well be a pension home for the soon-to-be retirees. There's no nuanced experience on this squad that can truly balance out the extremely old and youthfully unaware mix of players on this team. This seems like a mighty damn fine recipe for relegation, in the eyes of yours truly. It's a poorly run laboratory with a mighty brilliant scientific ethos.
The Hope
Tiedemessut is a city of innovation. Science breathes and flows throughout every building, every street, every person. Skyscrapers belonging to Tiedemessut's finest scientific corporations tower its residents; it's Gortolekua's scientific capital for a reason, save for the actual capital's stronghold on astronomy. And there's a great culture of developing players at SC Tiedemessut, with young up-and-comers like centre back Vilhelmi Hudson (only on the bench due to perceived biases; they're still substitute No. 1 for the club), midfielder Linnea Coburn and goalkeeper-captain Rusty Campo—who at 26 is the second-oldest player on Tiedemessut's starting XI. You know there's a great voice and commandeering figure that comes in from Campos, and who knows? Maybe he'll be able to strongarm this squad into winning some matches that matter.
The Reality
Giving as much credit as I can to the stars of tomorrow that will play on winning teams at some point in their careers, Tiedemessut just doesn't know how to build teams that win consistently. It was an issue when Mustamaa had its provincial league (Tiedemessut managing to win the one season every province winner got an automatic invite to the Ohorekunnia), and it will be an issue this season as well. No knowledge of how to curate quality talent into vital wins will seal this team's fate into the Igonousta following this season. And you don't need to have a PhD to see that as the case. I may have written off this team last year, but this time I'm not writing them off. I'm telling the truth. Here's a challenge I leave for Totegia's dear readers: Find me a writer that wouldn't be surprised to see this team go down into the second division next season.

FC Suteakuepa
Starting XI
1. Melesina Archie (GK, 21, GTK)
2. Patrik Martel (CB, 30, GTK)
3. Rhianna Terry (DM, 28, GTK)
4. Easter Quirós (CB, 32, GTK) - (c)
5. Rosemary Taft (LWB, 29, GTK)
6. Xanti Huxtable (RWB, 28, GTK)
7. Daffodil Botwright (LCM, 30, GTK) - (vc)
8. Sidney Mills (AM, 31, GTK)
10. Paulina Scott (RCM, 26, GTK)
9. Iacopo Fantacci (ST, 26, SOR)
11. Santos Owston (ST, 23, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Porfirio Marquez (GK, 36, GTK)
13. Morton Plank (CB, 32, GTK)
15. Matilda Hambleton (LWB/DM, 30, GTK)
16. Nikolas Pereyra (CM/DM, 30, GTK)
14. Loviisa Jephson (ST, 18, GTK)
18. Oiva Olesen (RWB, 32, GTK)
17. Oralie Colton (AM/ST, 27, GTK)

Last Season: 11th, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: Relegation Candidate
Stadium: Obelisk Revontulia (21,005)
Location: Revontulia District, Seinät
Manager: Somhairle Petit (2-3-3-2)
Club colors: Lime green, white
Nickname(s): Green Stars, La Verde,
The Franchise
Fan Culture: Delusional, above all other
qualities that may exist
District Culture: Artistic capital of
Seinät, stage shows galore

FC Suteakuepa
The Rundown
Our first of two capital clubs in the Ohorekunnia, FC Suteakuepa might be best known for its renegade visionary of a manager, Somhairle Petit. At a certain point during his career, he was praised for his visionary status that led to domination in Seinät, but it seems like he’s off the deep end now. Mainly for his one-sided feud with KftA Lehoi Hegodun manager Salvador Foster, but his tactics are pretty much out there as well. There’s no sense of thinking that goes in that noggin of Petit’s, specially with a questionable 2-3-3-2 formation that he adopted last season to little avail. Why is he trying it again? “For the glory of the club and of the sport,” Petit told Totegia, puffing smoke out his chap mouth. His training sessions are just as well known, if not better, for their explorations of the athlete’s inner and outer psyche as much as the implementation of playstyle and club philosophy. Suetakuepa’s board of directors is now at a crossroads: Do they rely and find themselves with their great and legendary manager who has given more good memories than anyone could remember even if it may not be for the best, or do they fire the man in the nicest of ways so they can keep any chance of staying in the Ohorekunnia this season?
The Hope
A new club signing may be this club’s saving grace. The catch? He’s dedicated his career to being a journeyman of sorts, signing one-season contracts only. But that’s what you get when you are graced by striker Iacopo Fantacci. Plus, this feels like a Petit signing: placing all your chips on a guy who will leave after a year in the hopes he somehow kills it in the process. Of course, there’s assist machine Sidney Mills looking to replicate her success last season with her 23 assists, good for a Bronze Playmaker award. But long-term, you're going to need your eyes set on left midfielder Daffodil Botwright. Despite her being 30, Botwright finds herself to on the cutting edge of finally having a great season. After an early onset of injuries that many assumed would hurt her chances of reaching full potential, Botwright has progressively gotten better with season’s end. Who knows, she could be someone to play much later into her career than is typically normal for the average footballer with how well her style ages. Cheddar, if you will.
The Reality
There’s only so much hope you can put in to some of these players if you’re a Suteakuepa observer (let’s be honest, the fans are still going to put hope into them because they’re deluded) that you’re not going to want to see how the club will most likely do the rest of the season. They’re a hot brand, even “The Franchise” as some of their more deluded fans call the club, but this hot brand belongs in a hot pile of trash. Am I risking Somhairle Petit walking up to my press box, slapping the hell out of me, telling me to keep his club’s name out of my mouth, and getting away with it because he may or may not have deep connections to the Gortoleki government? Yes (Somhairle, if you’re reading this: It was a joke!). But I would not be surprised if the club found themselves going down, or close to the cellar.

Kyynel PK
Starting XI
1. Malone Newport (GK, 31, GTK) - (vc)
2. Cornelius Rey (CB, 35, GTK)
4. Arin Travieso (CB, 29, GTK)
3. Katelyn Arrington (CB, 22, GTK)
5. Karissa Lynton (DM, 30, GTK)
6. Mario Peduzzi (CM, 24, MCO)
7. Gavin Saunders (LW, 29, GTK)
8. Onni Emmet (CM, 35, GTK) - (c)
9. Chanté Trent (ST, 25, GTK)
10. Jolyon Danell (ST, 20, GTK)
11. Daniel Hermenegildo (RW, 28, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Alfred Patrick (ST, 32, GTK)
13. Drogo Beck (LW, 35, GTK)
14. Avonlea Turner (RW, 33, GTK)
16. Caterina Solomon (CM/DM, 31, GTK)
15. Marko Garret (CM, 33, GTK)
17. Madonna Bisset (CB, 34, GTK)
18. Jakob Calhoun (GK, 19, GTK)

Last Season: 7th, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: Bottom Half
Stadium: Solairuartea (32,921)
Location: Suurihyökkäys, Näytteet
Manager: Arlet Evelyn (3-5-2)
Club colors: Charcoal, orange
Nickname(s): The Stag Beetles, the Ballclub
Fan Culture: More interested in baseball, but
they’re still passionate about the club
City Culture: Rugged city that was once
a miner’s town

Kyynel PK
The Rundown
Kyynel PK isn’t a club filled with stars, really. It’s sort of the side project to their club owners’ focus on baseball (the “PK” stands for Pesaäpalloklubi). They don’t get as much money focused into them as their diamond-partaking contemporaries, but there’s grit you can always expect in the club. You can’t really kill these Stag Beetles; they’re bound to somehow stay alive. Why? That scrappy grit in the club’s squad—they had the fewest goals conceded among any team and led the league in clean sheets last season as well. Their smothering defensive philosophy isn’t for the faint of heart; some might as well call it anti-football if we’re being extremely honest. But as the old saying goes: “Three points is three points.” Championship-contending clubs will certainly find themselves struggling to put up with their defensive stalwartness, but the joy and beauty for those who love parked buses will certainly be a delight for the select few of us that exist. Otherwise, tough luck, better try one of the other 15 clubs to root for.
The Hope
Well, there’s nothing better for Kyynel followers than seeing Malone Newport put on the same defensive performances he had between the sticks last season that garnered him a Golden Glove last season, on top of the absorbent defensive backline comprised of veteran Cornelius Rey, somewhat established Arin Travieso and youngling Katelyn Arrington, joining the club from SC Tiedemessut. Arrington’s youth will be key in providing a spark to an aging backline, who began to slow down speed wise toward the end of last season. That said, Arrington’s rashness on decision-making might make her prone to picking up some unnecessary bookings here and there. The biggest surprise of the transfer window involves Kyynel signing a forward player. Ring the bells, the apocalypse has come and the player for whom the bells toll is named Daniel Hermenegildo. The 28-year-old, as previously reported by Totegia, was seen to be too slow for former club 1. Turvatyyny TJK; that shouldn’t stop anyone from questioning his overall speed—a welcome addition to the Ballclub.
The Reality
Sure, there are positives to look forward to for Kyynel PK and its new signings, but be real with me for a second: Hermenegildo would be lucky to average a shot a match. His new club will not be the best when it comes to creating chances, and most of the horsepower that goes into the club goes to any defensive player. Even then, you’ve got an aging bench that provides less-than-optimal options for substitutes thanks to club ownership’s lack of investment in their footballing program. Kyynel might be in for a rough surprise in the inevitable event the club needs to go toward its bench for players. Unless they can get some young academy talents up and running soon, these Stag Beetles will find themselves in the lower half come Matchday Thirty. But probably sooner, if we're being real.

Päiväunelijoita KUY
Starting XI
1. Earl Lyon (GK, 28, GTK)
2. Fenton Velasco (CB, 26, GTK)
3. Dane Yong (CB, 33, GTK)
4. Kevin Dahl (CB, 34, GTK)
5. Orville Horn (DM, 27, GTK)
6. Trygve Håkansson (CM, 28, GTK)
7. Roy Close (LWB, 28, GTK)
11. Jakes Thompsett (RWB, 29, GTK)
9. Njord MacFarlane (ST, 31, GTK)
10. Lachlan Harlow (CM, 27, GTK)
18. Thankful Gibson (ST, 32, GTK)
Substitutes
8. Cordelia Morriss (ST, 30, GTK)
12. Anjelica Jeffries (GK, 37, GTK)
13. Trinidad Cantú (CB, 22, GTK)
14. Clímaco Karlsen (CB, 21, GTK)
15. Dena Villar (LWB/CM, 27, GTK)
16. McKinley Cole (DM/RWB, 30, GTK)
17. Tadeo Glenn (CM, 35, GTK)

Last Season: 10th, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: Bottom Half
Stadium: Valkoinen Huone (39,625)
Location: Kuunallas, Perjantaina
Manager: Owen Roncione (3-4-3)
Club colors: Silver, gray
Nickname(s): The Daydreamers,
Tuomo’s Club, Harborers
Fan Culture: View the club as more
than just a club
City Culture: Moderately large harbor city

Päiväunelijoita KUY
The Rundown
First thing’s first: What does the crest even symbolize? Tuomo Eborakuoma, the man depicted in the crest, is Päiväunelijoita’s founder. When he first envisioned a football club 107 years ago, he wanted football to be accessible to anyone and everyone. So during his lifetime, annual open tryouts took place to welcome anyone who felt they somehow slipped through the cracks—a tradition that continues today. Yes, it’s much more rare to find a street player on the first team nowadays, but it’s every Daydreamers’ hope that club glory will be led from one of these open tryout players. Until then, Tadeo Glenn—the most recent walk-on to make the first team—will have to just sit on the bench, career slowly dwindling as the rest of this Päiväunelijoita squad finds itself lacking any sort of on-pitch identity, supplemented by a 10th place finish last season. Things needed to change, and manager Owen Roincone knew that, especially after losing the club's two best players in Ivor Esteban and Charissa Hyde to Sporting Arkamo and AFC Rochford, respectively.
The Hope
“I told myself, ‘What would Tuomo do?’ and as soon as I asked myself that, I had my answer,” manager Owen Roncione told Totegia. “‘Be bold,’ were his last words to the club. And that’s what I promised I would do this transfer window.” Signing striker Thankful Gibson from 1.FC Goudini might just be one of the more bold decisions in line with Tuomo’s vision. Sure, you lose a young striker in Pia Iturburua in return, but the goals that Gibson can score at the rate she did last year will be leaps ahead of a team that wants to prove itself to the rest of the league. Twenty-three goals across 30 matches is certainly no laughing matter when you've got an offense as high octane as Goudini's, and there's hope on Roncione's end that it'll translate to the Kuunallas club as well. There's also some hope in the young centre backs that made the bench this season—22 year old Trinidad Cantú and 21 year old Clímaco Karlsen—becoming phenomenal down the line, and with an aging backline, there could be some room for substantial minutes across the season.
The Reality
Keep dreaming if you're expecting a possible top-half finish this season. There's huge liabilities with right wingback Jakes Thompsett, known for giving away the ball in the final third as much as he is for his crossing ability. All three of the club's strikers are past the 30-mark, which is fine for the most part, but their physical peaks are in the rear-view mirror and most defenders younger than 30 are going to eat up Päiväunelijoita’s attack for breakfast. There is a lot of good hope that exists within the the Päiväunelijoita squad, but there may be some problems that will haunt the club this season, especially if marquee signing Gibson can't replicate her form from last year. Be keen down the road, but for now: be wary.

fc auringonottaja
Starting XI
1. Marciano Spalding (GK, 34, GTK)
2. Víctor Olguín (CB, 26, GTK)
3. Sancha Amador (CB/SW, 24, GTK)
4. Amalia Aiza (CB, 31, GTK)
5. Guiomar Lobo (LWB, 20, GTK)
6. Espen Mac Thaidhg (RWB, 19, GTK)
7. Alesander Mac Dhòmhnaill (DM, 33, GTK)
8. Arne Gustafsson (CM, 18, GTK)
9. Þórir Forsberg (CM, 25, GTK)
10. Ståle Alexandersson (ST, 27, GTK)
11. Gregers Breiner (ST, 23, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Dag Asís (CB, 28, GTK)
13. Eino Venäläinen (LWB, 24, GTK)
14. Aleksander Rojo (RWB/CM, 26, GTK)
15. Morven Arce (SW/CB, 19, GTK)
16. Alfred Grier (CM/DM, 28, GTK)
17. Dulce Mac Amhalghaidh (GK, 17, GTK)
18. Kimball Perez (ST, 35, GTK)

Last Season: Champions, Igonousta
Prediction: Middle of the Pack
Stadium: Unelmatolo (25,958)
Location: Kuurotaivas, Kenkuijo
Manager: J.P. Ogaugha (5-3-2)
Club colors: Many shades of pink
Nickname(s): Kuurotaivas’ Finest
Fan Culture: Passionate, but they’ve got
other priorities too
City Culture: Harshly beautiful city, with
extremely eclectic architecture

fc auringonottaja
The Rundown
One of the favorites to make it out of the Igonousta last season, fc auringonottaja (purposely all lowercase due to aesthetic reasons from club founders) is, culturally, the most different club of every Ohorekunnia club this season. If the league were decided on pure vibes and aesthetic, auringonottaja would stomp the league 40 times over. Their all-pink mantra bleeds into everything the club touches, with its support of art museums, fashion shows, street art murals; anything cool is auringonottaja, and anything auringonottaja is cool—except for their football for most of the club's history.

Until now, that is.

While the club was finally able to put the pieces together for a championship winning Igonousta last campaign, auringonottaja football was best described as "rough," and worst described as "abysmal" throughout the club's history. Now, it's a little different. There's a beautiful sense of youth that's left out on the pitch by this crop, playing like they've got a minute left in recess before going back to class again. And it's great that there's a childlike attitude toward football and it's actually brought success in, but an expected promotion last season may have actually been too soon for players. A wake-up call down the line could be necessary.
The Hope
That being said, maybe they'll shock me once again and prove that there is no such thing as a "too soon" for an Ohorekunnia club. Ask wingbacks Guiomar Lobo and Espen Mac Thaidhg if they think playing top-flight football at this point in their lives is too soon for themselves. Dual wünderkinds, and a much younger version of Tähti Roverit's Julio Saarinen and Kauko Scrivener fullback duo (who are already youngish in their own right). Or even midfielder Arne Gustafsson, who bossed the Igonousta at just 17. Imagine getting out-played on the pitch by a 17 year old? Couldn't be me, because I don't play at all. But Gustafsson plays extremely well for someone his age; he's a free-kick specialist and led the second division last year in goals scored off free kicks, and he's got copious amounts of energy that make him burst all over the pitch.
The Reality
Even if some of these kids might be ready to take the world, gripping the wheel on the way, please remember one thing if you've been fancied at their description: They're still new drivers on the road. auringonottaja is bound to make some (read: many) mistakes on the pitch as they try to grow into their full footballing selves over the course of 30 matchdays. Of course, it's a tall task to ask their key players to mature into the developed professionals they should be in a couple years real quick, but even if they don't grow enough to get the results they deserve, it's not going to be the end of the world. Relegation for auringonottaja won't be in the cards unless something really drastic happens, but neither is a top four fight. They may finish in the lower half of the table this season, but watch out in the coming years ahead.

Berriaordena GZ
Starting XI
1. Elba Tjäder (GK, 22, GTK)
2. Berezi Berggren (CB, 26, GTK)
3. "Rebel Yell" Azusa Manami (CB, 26, HIN)
4. Konstantin McLeod (CB, 28, GTK)
5. Aleksanteri Villalobos (DM, 21, GTK)
6. Jokum Karjalainen (CM, 32, GTK)
7. Aretha Eliasson (CM, 33, GTK)
8. Bronte Ruiz, LWB (24, GTK)
9. Quincy Poe (ST, 21, BRO)
10. Davis Summers (ST, 28, GTK)
11. Warrick Heikki (RWB, 26, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Xóchitl Barros (GK, 21, GTK)
13. Fabricio Morton (CB, 30, GTK)
14. Duana Saari (CM/LWB, 29, GTK)
15. Stanley Gaizka (RWB, 24, GTK)
16. Aretha Rey (LWB/DM, 31, GTK)
17. Rubén Vázquez (CM/ST, 32, GTK)
18. Herman Jephson (ST, 32, GTK)

Last Season: 13th, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: Middle of the Pack
Stadium: Zeremonia Zentroa (19,434)
Location: Argiapozik, Mazespolia
Manager: Norbert Lindqvist (3-5-2)
Club colors: Maroon, silver
Nickname(s): The Florists
Fan Culture: Energetic, jovial, yet cautious
City Culture: Floral capital of Gortolekua

Berriaordena GZ
The Rundown
"Berriaordena GZ Without Landen Pilgrim" sounds like a terrible nightmare for Florist fans, but this is the day-to-day many did not want to encounter. Their longtime captain, and arguably the greatest player Gortolekua has produced, has left for Coventry Harvesters in Cassadaigua. There's a massive hole left in the squad, but Norbert Lindqvist has finally gotten the hang of managing what was once Mazespolia's powerhouse and is preventing any minnowdom from being assigned to Berriaordena. There's reason to believe that the club is finally seeing its trust in the second-year manager pay off, and Lindqvist's tactics finally working on the squad according to training camp reports. What might have been a predicted relegation last season is slowly starting to turn itself into a working project that is slowly catching eyes across Gortolekua. Norbert Lindqvist is a name you'll need to remember soon, because Agriapozik is not going to be the last stop on his travel list if, all things considered, everything goes to plan.
The Hope
Lindqvist's banking on young Brook striker Quincy Poe finally finding his form following a disappointing spell at AFC Richmond. "We know Quincy's lethalness and instinct are top notch when he's near goal, and we've seen the talent that's been packed inside his heart waiting to come out once again," Lindqvist said following Poe's arrival. "There's no doubt that, with the right mindset and attitude, we'll be seeing his name on the scoresheet very often for us this season. I know I can make it work." Another solid pick-up who slotted directly into Berriaordena's starting XI is Hinodejin centre back "Rebel Yell" Azusa Manami. A lethal presence on the backline in closed-door matches, Manami's competitiveness is a welcome addition to a squad no longer wanting to find themselves fighting relegation. She's already drawing swaths of attention from fans, and it'll be of note to see how she does with her adapting to Gortoleki football—a gritty brand of football that is definitely up the Rebel Yell's alley.
The Reality
There's much optimism for Berriaordena fans this season, even if their hero departed for different pastures. And yes, there is much to look forward to a couple of years down the line. But right now, there's still going to be a rough-and-tumble set of matches that the Florists just aren't ready for yet. There'll be tough fought 90 minutes through and through, but there'll also be those matches where the players are going to find themselves gassed out halfway through the second half. But there's a magic in this squad that can beat any team on a given Matchday, and could even make some surprising runs in the Kalija Gortolekua. That's down the road though, during the season itself. It may be another season of bottom-half football, but it may be the last season of bottom-half football for Berriaordena.

by **Gortolekua** » Thu May 05, 2022 10:38 pm

OOC: If everything looks wonky, adjust your browser windows for maximum reading pleasure.

Ohorekunnia Season II: Previewing the Ohorekunnia's top half, the lower leagues and the Kalija — the great equalizer
by Lempi Rey

Eight teams previewed, eight more to count down and predict. And, of course, the lower league predictions and the Kalija Gortolekua group draw as well.

Astraalitaso
Starting XI
1. Nickolas Bennington (GK, 22, GTK)
2. Hodei Østergaard (LB, 27, GTK)
3. Hanna Laakkonen (CB, 30, GTK)
4. Alv Isaksen (CB, 28, GTK) - (vc)
5. Gorka Carlson (RB, 25, GTK)
6. Dewayne Keith (DM, 21, GTK)
7. Benedicte Tuominen (LM, 24, GTK)
8. Sarah Sierra (DM, 23, GTK)
9. Sigrid Blaxand (ST, 32, NPH) - (c)
15. Merche Taggart (CM, 25, GTK)
16. Anni Wang (RM, 29, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Martin Fairchild (GK, 17, GTK)
13. Viola Karjalainen (LB/CB, 29, GTK)
14. Line Danielsson (CB/RB, 26, GTK)
10. Stan Holgersson (CM/DM/RM, 32, GTK)
11. Viggo Niemi (LM/RM, 28, GTK)
17. Ulrika Garrastazu (DM/LM, 26, GTK)
18. Torhild Zubizarreta (ST, 33, GTK)

Last Season: 13th, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: Middle of the Pack
Stadium: Observatorio (26,801)
Location: Salmia District, Seinät Capital City
Manager: Bárbara Sanderson (4-2-3-1)
Club colors: Blue, orange
Nickname(s): Raketit, the Astronomers
Fan Culture: Smartest fans in league,
based on higher-ed degrees obtained
District Culture: The home of Gortoleki
space endeavors

Astraalitaso
The Rundown
Astraalitaso fans can breathe now: Your team made it into the Ohorekunnia season preview. There’s no need to be upset now, last season is over, the nightmare has finally come to an end. But I certainly didn’t expect to see Astraalitaso so close to relegation last season, nor did rocket scientists, and Bárbara Sanderson certainly didn’t need to see her club so close to dropping out of the top flight. Bless their hearts, though, because Sanderson’s gutsy promise of quitting if the club’s next loss placed or kept them in the relegation zone certainly paid off. Now, she’s coming off managing the first ever Gortoleki national team in the Baptism of Fire — and a not too shabby third place finish. It’s quite the turnaround for someone once so close to losing their job. Although, hear me out, this team needed some reinforcements. As well as a kick up its ass for getting complacent to even face the possibility of relegation in the first place.
The Hope
A great amount of hope can be placed around Anni Wang, hoping to not have as terrible of a season as she did last campaign. Wang’s woes were really Astraalitaso’s woes, and it showed, as we all know, on the pitch. But for this upcoming season, Nepharim striker Sigrid Blaxand joins the Raketit fold. Despite her age tipping closer to the tailend of a footballer’s career (and the signing going against almost every single ethos in Astraalitaso’s school of footballing philosophy i.e. developing academy products and signing young players), Sanderson believes “bringing someone—anyone in from a footballing powerhouse will make this club far better in the long-run. The young ones will learn about what the rest of the footballing multiverse looks like from someone who’s lived it.” The house money for a breakout season, mind you, should get placed on Dewayne Keith. At just 21 years old, this defensive midfielder is another one Gortolekua’s young offerings in a prime position that Gortolekua thrives in.
The Reality
Sanderson may have shown why she got voted by her peers as Manager of the Season, and the veteran reliability provided by some of Astraalitaso’s players that got them out of their relegation scare toward the end, but let’s face the music: This was a campaign that could have gone down had things gone south. Now, I think the entire squad, academy, coaching staff, front office and everyone associated with this club has learned their lesson to make sure relegation does not happen again. That being said, I am not so certain if the hope to actually live up to their predicted potential will come to fruition—at least this time around. There’s a lot of growth to be desired from this club, but an upper-half finish will certainly be within reach this season. No need for out-of-this-galaxy predictions.

Voitamatton AJK
Starting XI
12. Merete Davidsen (GK, 26, GTK)
2. Marius Sepúlveda (LB/CB, 23, GTK)
3. Staffan Petit (CB, 24, GTK)
15. Waldemar Anthonsen (RB/CB, 28, GTK)
5. Sorrel Seaver (DM/CB, 25, GTK)
7. Veronika Mac Cailein (LW/LWB, 26, GTK)
6. Kristjana Jørgensen (CM, 29, GTK) - (vc)
8. Asbjørn Bautista (CM, 30, GTK) - (c)
11. Louise Byström (RW/RWB, 19, GTK)
9. Edvin Bergman (ST, 27, GTK)
19. Elias Herrera (ST, 25, GTK)
Substitutes
18. Icíar MacInnes (CM, 29, GTK)
17. Andrea Hallman (LW/LWB, 28, GTK)
20. Hermanni Albrecktsson (GK, 30, GTK)
13. Frederik MacWilliam (RW/RWB, 20, GTK)
14. Lennart Fonseca (DM, 25, GTK)
4. Gerd Puga (CB, 31, GTK)
16. Sofia Mein (CM, 33, GTK)
10. Myry Vivar (ST, 16, AUD)

Last Season: 2nd, Igonousta
Prediction: Middle of the Pack
Stadium: Sininen Linnoitus (51,853)
Location: Aurinkolasit, Mustamaa
Manager: Esbjörn Skjeggestad
(3-5-2/4-4-2)
Club colors: Black, white, blue
Nickname(s): The Invincibles, Voita
Fan Culture: Somehow justifiably obnoxious
City Culture: Soon to be queen
city; popular music capital

Voitamatton AJK
The Rundown
No amount of deserved or undeserved hype negates the fact that Voitamatton AJK is a massive club. They’re a powerhouse that missed out on being Ohorekunnia debutants because of a string of bad results: third and fourth-place finishes in the most recent provincial seasons when they had dominated beforehand. But now they’re here, and they’re ready to prove something. Led by club legend and recently retired Esbjörn Skjeggestad, whose No. 1 is the first retired number in Voitamatton history, there’s a lot that’s fueling this team’s expectations. Namely spite. Skjeggestad, who was signed to Astraalitaso last season as he earned his coaching badges, expected to take over for Sanderson once she decided to coach the Gortoleki national team full-time. Until Sanderson didn’t, that is, because she’s doing double duty for club and country. “No hate toward Bárbara at all. I learned so much from her, and am absolutely grateful for her expertise in my time under her wing,” Skjeggestad told Voitamatton’s club channel VTV. “But the board at Astraalitaso can kiss my ass. I’m never forgiving those shitstains.” Skjeggestad will be coaching a squad hungry to remind Gortolekua why they are known as the Invincible Voitamatton.
The Hope
One of the benefits of being a Massive Club™ is you can sometimes pay extra money to possibly get an extra roster spot. Is it corrupt? Who knows if it is, but Audioslav forward Myry Vivar certainly doesn’t think so. Pegged as the club’s Extra Player, Vivar comes aboard from an Osarese Marcadia club that certainly didn’t want to “give Vivar a chance,” according to both the teen himself and his new gaffer. “Listen, he’s a brash teenager. We’ll let him work out his problems on a top-flight squad of our calibre,” Skjeggestad said. Midfielder Kristjana Jørgensen, on the other hand, is a player any club would love to have on their roster. Intelligent and nimble with a wicked spot for playing, Jørgensen is the archetype for a Voitamatton player. Finally, defender Waldemar Anthonsen’s versatility in the backline—both as a centre-back and a right-back—will be key to smothering any attacks. He’s tall and knows how to put in a good header and fight for the balls. On top of that? Lethal on a free kick. Don’t give Voitamatton any dead balls in your own half. That’s all I’ll say.
The Reality
Have I hyped up this club a lot? Yes, yes I have. Does Voitamatton AJK deserve this hype? To a certain extent. There’s a lot of potential that exists in the Invincibles making a splash in the league, but they’ve got the downside of not having top-flight football—domestic or multiversal—for so long that it gives them the disadvantage of not knowing what lays out there. But this is a club that thrives on being told they’re not able to do anything. I promise you that there exists nothing better to a Voitamatton fan than telling the haters to shove it, and prove everyone wrong. Who knows? Maybe there is a world where they finish in a top four spot somehow because they just want to give two middle fingers to everyone who doubted them. But for me, there’s a lot that remains to be wanted from Voitamatton. Somewhere just outside of the top six is where I have them. But a couple of years down the line? Watch out.

SD Marriubia
Starting XI
1. Melville MacQueen (GK, 28, GTK)
2. Celandine Chancellor (RB, 25, GTK)
3. Grier Fishman (LB, 31, GTK) - (c)
4. Mateo McFee (CB, 29, GTK)
14. Fumio Tagawa (CB, 23, KOR)
6. Jokin Lewin (DM, 25, GTK)
10. Monica Banner (CM, 27, GTK) - (vc)
8. Keeley Martikainen (CM, 30, GTK)
11.Evangelina Patterson (RW, 31, GTK)
9. Slade Leigh (ST, 28, GTK)
7. César Irvin (LW, 22, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Adelardo Mason (GK, 23, GTK)
13. Osbourne Chapman (RB, 28, GTK)
5. Jordon Gardner (CB, 27, GTK)
15. Emma Wang (CB/LB, 30, GTK)
16. Miracle Santana (CM/DM, 26, GTK)
18. Nooa Mitchell (ST, 21, GTK)
17. Baldomero Seaver (LW/RW, 26, GTK)

Last Season: 6th, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: IFCF Challenger
Stadium: Estadio Marriubia (38,524)
Location: Marriubia, Ibaiaho
Manager: Alban Lyon (4-3-3)
Club colors: Sand, maroon, red
Nickname(s): The Rubies, Haserrea
Fan Culture: Optimistic but
pragmatic about what lies ahead
City Culture: Border town blending
beachside and mountaintops

SD Marriubia
The Rundown
Once again, SD Marriubia walks into this new Ohorekunnia as the best of the northern bunch that is not KftA Lehoi Hegodun. This time, however, a much weaker than expected Seinät contingent of clubs makes them the No. 2 by a wide margin. Marriubia finds themselves on the cusp of being a good club that qualifies for multiversal football, but also with the challenge of having to be first in line to take on clubs that are too good to surmount. You’re the jobber to the stars, but you’re still a jobber. Unless you happen to have a superfan that also happens to be some obnoxiously wealthy businessman trying to change that. Sandwich tycoon Narcís Harland, owner of Gortolekua’s largest sandwich chain in NarcíSando, is a die-hard Marriubia supporter looking to put his money where his mouth is. It’s a long process, Harland acknowledges, but he believes he is taking the right steps to begin that process.
The Hope
And where else does the process begin but with a new signing Ko-orenite centre-back Fumio Tagawa. Brought in to replace the departing Lía Lindsey, Tagawa is considered to be a much better fit for the system Marriubia has in place. He’s much more offensively inclined than his former counterpart, looking to play more of a role in developing attacks from the back. “We signed Fumio for a reason; that reason is he fits well,” Marriubia manager Alban Lyon told Totegia. “He’s young and with a really great potential to blossom into something phenomenal.” Alongside Tagawa in the backline is national team player Grier Fishman, coming off some respectable shifts as the Winter Lynxes’ secondary left-back in the 78th Baptism of Fire. Fishman may be losing a bit of his speed down the flanks, but technique is forever. And the King of the Pings is yet to be disposed of, and will have a while before somebody takes over the crown. To make the left flank truly scary is young winger César Irvin, who is versatile with both feet. Left foot, right foot, it doesn’t matter to him. At just 22, Irvin’s going to be the future kingpin for any squad looking to build a championship contender: Marriubia or not.
The Reality
There is no doubt in my mind that Harland, known for being a passionate fan, is looking to build a strong club that truly can challenge for leagues down the line. He is taking the right steps (funding and buying foreign players, while continuing to invest in talent and other club resources) to build something magical that could, down the line, win it all in Gortolekua. But for now, there’s too little time to build something magical. What Marriubia can do, however, is make a strong push for an IFCF spot down the line. It’s a crapshoot as to whether or not they will make it to the promised land. Granted, all of football is. But for now, at least, there is a club willing to put the funds in to build something great.

1. Turvatyyny TJK
Starting XI
1. Usko Calhoun (GK, 30, GTK)
2. Apolinar Saunders (RB, 26, GTK)
3. Garland Toivonen (CB, 30, GTK)
4. Erika Solomon (CB, 31, GTK)
5. Douglas Caballero (LB, 33, GTK) - (c)
6. Mireia Hubbard (CM, 27, GTK)
7. Ildefonso Turnbull (LM, 25, GTK)
8. Palmer Jacobson (CM, 28, GTK) - (vc)
9. Torcull Allan (ST, 29, GTK)
10. Edmund Traviss (ST, 24, GTK)
11. Shania Figueroa (RM, 28, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Justa Park (GK, 34, GTK)
13. Isaiah Edwardson (CB, 23, GTK)
14. Salvador Chamberlain (LB, 27, GTK)
15. Matias Holme (RB, 27, GTK)
16. Skye Patterson (CM/RM, 30, GTK)
17. Diann Underwood (LM/CM, 24, GTK)
18. Kendal Browne (ST, 21, GTK)

Last Season: 4th, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: IFCF Challenger
Stadium: BTSTU Arena (31,997)
Location: Tietokone, Perjantaina
Manager: Yorke Buchanan (4-4-2)
Club colors: Blue, white
Nickname(s): Sinivalkoinen, The Airbags
Fan Culture: Hurt me once, shame on you…
City Culture: National car
manufacturing centre

1. Turvatyyny TJK
The Rundown
The Airbags found themselves on the other side—the good side—of the top four race, compared to their Goudini rivals, qualifying for an IFCF spot on the very last day of the season. Not too shabby, but could’ve been so much better with them fighting on for the title for most of the season. So did they clear house to make sure any deadweight got removed so they could actually push on for something more than a fourth place finish? Drumroll, please…
No.
1. Turvatyyny TJK’s board pretty much believes this is the squad meant to pack a punch in the Ohorekunnia, save for one Daniel Hermeneglido. The right winger was brushed aside as part of a carousel deal that brought over Shania Figueroa from 1.FC Goudini. But other than that? “This is a team that we believe can challenge for titles when it’s all said and done,” manager Yorke Buchanan told his club in their pre-season member newsletter. “We’ve got something phenomenal here that we have massive faith in. If we don’t get something this year, then we’ll clear house. But I believe in our team. I always have.”
The Hope
For the Turvatyyny faithful, a repeat of Torcull Allan’s brilliant season would definitely make last season’s woes a little less painful to hear about, combined with not faltering and stumbling to a fourth place finish. An okay Baptism of Fire for Allan should hopefully be a good sign for those wanting him to perform extremely well in the upcoming campaign. But all eyes should be on Shania Figueroa, the lone new club signing. Figueroa is an agile winger who made 1.FC Goudini a hellish club to deal with on defense. She brings in high-octane speed at the position, which is exactly what Turvatyyny was looking for when they got rid of Hermeneglido. Playing more in the midfield is expected, but Figueroa is a chameleon who can fit in fine further down the pitch. Is she the missing piece to their multiversal puzzle? A dream for Palmer Jacobson to regain the form he had during the years of Perjantaina provincial football is also in line with what fans hope to see this year. Once a terrorizing force in the midfield, Jacobson’s slight case of the yips when it comes to finding the pass that leads to the assist has hindered his mental approach to the game. But there are reports emerging from Turvatyyny’s camp that Jacobson has hired a personal psychologist to help him overcome whatever mental blocks there may be.
The Reality
Well, there’s nothing like being a Turvatyyny fan. You’ve got so much hope in there that it really makes you wonder how someone that is conditioned to expect disappointment on a yearly basis can still have so much optimism every time a season rolls around. Even with the fact their manager and board both agree that this is the squad to really make heads turn in the Ohorekunnia, Turvatyyny fans should ask themselves: “Is this really it? Can we, as a club, do better?” Normally, an approach like this makes me sick to my stomach to see it unfold. You want to send your club into an array? Don’t sign new players. But I somehow trust Turvatyyny. The pieces of the puzzle were all there, but things just didn’t pan out as much. And if they plan on rebuilding next year should things flop this year, then fine. Personally, they’re going to be on the outside looking in to IFCF football—let alone a championship run—but not without putting up a damn close fight this time around, instead of slipping oh so slowly.

FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Starting XI
1. María Vanhanen (GK, 30, GTK)
2. Itxaso Delgado (LB/LWB, 26, GTK)
3. Eder Linna (RB/RWB, 27, GTK)
4. Cruz Abarca (CB, 29, GTK) - (c)
5. Rocío Guadarrama (CB, 26, GTK)
6. Wallis MacCallum (CB/DM, 24, GTK)
7. Flavio Aritza (CM, 31, GTK) - (vc)
8. Mapla Salinas (CM, 27, GTK)
9. Delice Nieminen (ST, 28, GTK)
17. Rosalía Bengoetxea (CM/AM, 23, GTK)
11. Jose Maria Chandler (ST, 30, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Perttu Heinonen (GK, 18, GTK)
13. Joan Laitinen (RB/RWB, 25, GTK)
14. Mikel Christensen (CB/DM, 20, GTK)
15. Ozkar Vilanova (LB/LWB/CB, 19, GTK)
16. Virva Coello (CM, 23, GTK)
10. Birthe Solberg (CM, 25, GTK)
18. Synne Lindquist (ST, 22, GTK)

Last Season: Champions, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: IFCF Challenger
Stadium: Orionvyö (35,241)
Location: Isittelyssä, Näytteet
Manager: Harleigh Toivonen (5-3-2)
Club colors: Forest green, lime green
Nickname(s): Lukuja, the Numerals, Kappale
Fan Culture: Excited to be on top, ready
to run it back once again
City Culture: Former oilers’ town, looking for
new identity in a greener Gortolekua

FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
The Rundown
Winner, winner, chicken dinner was FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale, who maintained an extremely firm grasp on the league last season. There’s some changes made to the Kappale roster, but the overall title-winning gist is still there. Their football, indubitably, was the best brand of football Gortoleki saw last season. Now, however, is different. You’re in a field of play where everyone kind of has a general idea of what to expect, how to counter you, how to exploit your weaknesses—the whole enchilada. Look at how Kappale did in their IFCF prelims. Not too bad, but not as great as they could have either, if I do say so myself. Granted, first champions to ever make it in but I digress. There’s a lot to be asked for, even if they seem like they’ve got all the pieces to win the league again. But there is still a fair amount of hope, of course, that makes Kappale such a candidate for winning it all one more time.
The Hope
For the uninitiated, Rosalía Bengoetxea offers much as a midfielder. Like, a lot. Barely snubbed from the 23-player roster for the Baptism of Fire, there’s a flame that is bound to keep Bengoetxea fuming, possibly out of pure spite, for the entire campaign. She’s got something to prove, and she knows she has the quality to prove this talent. There’s a reason why she wanted to depart SC Tiedemessut—she knows she’s better than them. But like any fire that burns within somebody, there’s also a hope that the overwhelmingness of it doesn’t engulf the player from performing capably. It’s a problem Bengoetxea has both on and off the pitch, but the hope (emphasis: hope) is that she doesn’t blow up like she did at the Season Honors ceremony. Otherwise, this is a pretty solid squad. Mapla Salinas, the excellent midfielder who could’ve been a nailed-on starter for the national team, should thrive alongside Bengoetxea in midfield; a phenomenal playmaker plus a clay midfielder who can fulfill any The hope is to repeat again as champions, which would be the hope for any team that wins a title.
The Reality
Let’s take off our rose-tinted glasses and see what lies ahead for Kappale. They are a very, very, very good squad that may have its number figured out. Of course, every club in the league saw Kappale’s IFCF matches and how they got to thrive, but also where those pockets of problems exist for the squad. Now, barring some horrific collapse, injury or loss of quality from this squad, Kappale should be fine and dandy, but on the edge of a championship journey this time around. They’ll most likely, in my opinion, have a great start to the season where people forget who they are, but see points dropped here and there to show that people are learning their number (no pun intended). They will end up as the safest of the four IFCF qualifiers, but don’t be surprised if there’s a fight put up that sees Lukuja close to missing out on multiversal football.

KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Starting XI
1. Eidren Kalitas (GK, 33, SRS)
2. Naia Matthiasen (LCB, 30, GTK)
3. Osane Bjarnesen (CB, 28, GTK)
4. Eino Beck (RCB, 29, GTK)
5. Ragnvald Waltersson (LM, 25, GTK)
6. Jessica Partanen (DM, 29, GTK) - (c)
7. Darby Innes (LW, 28, GTK) - (vc)
8. Ingegärd Heikki (RM, 26, GTK)
9. Inkeri Nykvist (ST, 27, GTK)
10. Grahame Brooks (CM, 25, GTK)
11. Liv Winther (RW, 24, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Yadira Hult (GK, 22, GTK)
13. Ingmar Zapatero (LCB/CB, 28, GTK)
14. Preben Kristensen (CB/RCB, 32, GTK)
15. Morten Paz (DM/CM, 32, GTK)
16. Valor Kristiansen (LM/LW, 29, GTK)
17. Eljas Rosales (RW/RM, 25, GTK)
18. Louise De la Cruz (ST, 24, GTK)

Last Season: 2nd, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: Title Challenger
Stadium: Kobazuola (32,921)
Location: San Marko, Haize Eklektikoa
Manager: Salvador Foster (3-4-3)
Club colors: Red, gold
Nickname(s): the Klub, the Winged Lions
Fan Culture: Incendiary, devoted,
erratic assholes who think their club
is the greatest to ever exist
City Culture: Birthplace of Gortoleki
workers’ movement

KftA Lehoi Hegodun
The Rundown
While this may be the last season where Lehoi Hegodun is the most hated club in all of the country (they can thank Voitamatton AJK for that), they’re still going to be up there as a loathed club all the same (they can thank themselves for that). They don’t give a flying firetruck about why nobody may like them, because they are the Winged Lions. They are the almighty Klub for a reason, instilling fear into their opponents’ hearts. No result can be far from over until the final whistle has blown when you’re taking on KftA. Even if you do win, they’re more than happy to hold a grudge against you for the end of time. So you’ve got everyone hating this San Marko club, and this San Marko club hating everyone in return, It's a mutually assured and destructive relationship in Gortoleki football, which is exactly how the Klub's faithful want it to be. It also doesn't help that the club is the perennial powerhouse that is always good. Yippee if you're a fan, damn you to hell if you aren't a fan.
The Hope
Winning, frankly. Winning the damn thing would make their proclaimed dominance over the country a reality. And it would justify all the trash they talk to the rest of the country. But in order to do that, you’re going to need to have a—once again—killer performance from winger Darby Innes. Her ferocity on the wing, as a brutal and high-octane example of ferocity, will make defenders shake to their core. In addition to Innes, Inkeri Nykvist should finally have that breakout season everyone expects him to have. Coming off a commendable 15-goal, 7-assist campaign last season, Nykvist should see both of those tallies rise even more as he continues to find his lethal groove. He does that, and that should take off some of the pressure on Innes from creating more than she needs to. There’s also the hope to see Yadira Hult get some shifts between the posts. A domineering, commanding figure, Hult likes to run a tight ship whenever she’s starting. Already the source of controversy caused by manager Salvador Foster last season, there’s no question she’s bound to become the Klub’s starter within the next year or two.
The Reality
When it comes to Lehoi Hegodun, most of us know that this is a team that will win something someday. There’s no question about it: the talent is there, as well as the foundation to continue bringing in massively talented youngsters from their academy. But that’s not providing nuance to what this club represents. The “food for thought” take involves acknowledging that while this is easily a team that can wreak havoc across the league at their own will, their biggest enemy is themselves. Such a talented squad to let their inner mantra get to themselves so often. And it’s bound to play a role in whatever demise they could have from their championship aspirations and dreams. We’ll see phenomenal play come in for massive parts of the season, they’ll get too confident and it’ll leave players like Innes and Partanen, who’ve had a wake-up call following Gortolekua’s third-place finish, disappointed because they can’t get their club onto a level-minded headspace. Will their fans want my head on a stick after reading this? The brash ones, yes. But deep down, they know their club needs to rework its philosophy to truly get the results it deserves.

Tähti Roverit JK
Starting XI
1. Rigmor Ragnvaldsson (GK, 27, GTK) - (vc)
2. Julio Saarinen (LB, 25, GTK)
4. Frantziska Robertsen (CB, 24, GTK)
3. Claes Janson (CB, 30, GTK) - (c)
5. Kauko Scrivener (RB, 24, GTK)
6. Nico Hansson (DM, 27, GTK)
7. Toni Aritza (LW, 26, GTK)
8. Gustav Bergman (DM, 22, GTK)
9. Judith Berge (ST/RW, 19, GTK)
10. Kennet Laakkonen (CM, 23, GTK)
11. Catrine Mäkinen (RW, 27, GTK)
Substitutes
12. Laura Bendsten (GK, 31, GTK)
13. Milly Olson (LB, 27, GTK)
14. Félix Thorsen (CB, 17, GTK)
15. Viktor Raginmar (RB, 18, GTK)
16. Petter Frederiksen (LW/CM, 25, GTK)
17. Vera Cuesta (CM/ST/RW, 22, GTK)
18. Silje Saarinen (ST, 21, GTK)

Last Season: 3rd, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: Title Challenger
Stadium: Salijastakaista (45,033)
Location: Hidasukelta, Kenkuijo
Manager: Anne Garcia (4-2-3-1)
Club colors: Turquoise, cream
Nickname(s): Star Rovers, Leijalentäjät
Fan Culture: Spirited, fierce, and believers
in the fighting spirit
City Culture: Buzzing nightlife, with bars,
discothèques, and concerts galore

Tähti Roverit JK
The Rundown
Last season’s start to the season was anything but ideal for Tähti Roverit JK. They had to claw their way from seventh place following 10 games and fifth place following 20 games just to finish in an IFCF spot by the end of the season. But they did that, winning nine out of the last 10 to finish in third. Twenty-seven out of thirty points is no laughing matter, and there’s no reason why their end-of-season form can continue on into next season. The Star Rovers were also able to get rid of some of the masterminds behind their early season woes in Emma Wang (SD Marriubia), Trygve Håkansson (Päiväunelijoita KUY), Oiva Olesen (FC Suteakuepa) and bring up good academy products into the fold as well.
The Hope
Last season, we highlighted Julio Saarinen and Kauko Scrivener, the two full-backs who proved to be the Star Rovers’ defensive backbone and offensive benefit. That’s not changing at all, and with the two providing a legendary run of games in Leijalentäjät’s final 10 matches, they’re still going to be the answer for making sure good results come their way. What’s new this season, however, deals with striker Judith Berge. Following a successful experiment of playing her on the right wing at the BoF, Berge’s opening up room for Silje Saarinen to take fold whenever Catrine Mäkinen needs to rest or benched or not play for whatever reason. Silje Saarinen, who yes, is Julio Saarinen’s younger sister, is a different striker than Berge and her versatility. Silje offers a much more limited scope of play, but get her in the box and it’s truly game over. If she can start getting better at her play off-the-ball, it will be a benefit to her and the rest of the Star Rovers.
The Reality
Something magical is brewing in Hidasukelta—the players can tell you that, the front office can tell you that, the fans can tell you that easily. No team goes from 33 points to 60 points over the last 10 matches of the season (not just any span of 10 matches, but the last 10) without turning heads to see what’s being cooked. There’s thriving under crunch time, and then there’s being the Star Rovers during crunch time. Unless there’s a really close chance of the same issues that happened last time happening again this season. We don’t necessarily think so. Tähti Roverit JK will be in championship conversation this whole season to the very end of the 90th minute. And honestly, it will be a tossup as to whether or not they win it. But because I have to give a decisive take at the end of the day: It will once again be close, but no cigar for the Star Rovers. But if I’m wrong here, I’ll be perfectly okay with that.

1.FC Goudini
Starting XI
1. Kara Brooke (GK, 30, GTK)
2. Natalia Stanton (CB, 33, GTK) - (c)
3. Nico Azarola (CB, 29, GTK)
13. Alphonso Castell (CB, 27, GTK)
5. Verna Kinsey (DM, 29, GTK)
18. Taylor Browne (CM, 26, CDG)
7. Marc Hunnisett (RWB, 30, GTK)
8. Ambrose Echevarría (LWB, 24, GTK)
9. Pia Iturburua (ST, 23, GTK)
10. Drummond Douglas (ST, 30, GTK)
11. Myra Randal (CM, 27, GTK) - (vc)
Substitutes
12. Ekain Brody (GK, 21, GTK)
4. Hyacinth Blackman (CB, 35, GTK)
14. Keaton Mac Eanruig (CB, 30, GTK)
15. Jazmine Anderson (CM/RWB, 25, GTK)
16. Winona Pavía (LWB/DM, 29, GTK)
17. Clement Selby (ST, 17, GTK)
6. Costanza MacCrumb (CM, 31, GTK)

Last Season: 5th, Ohorekunnia
Prediction: Champions
Stadium: Fort Arcata (40,297)
Location: Goudini, The Arcatas
Manager: Mariano Faulkner (3-5-2)
Club colors: Gold, purple
Nickname(s): The Seagulls, Goudini’s Pride
Fan Culture: Peacefully aggressive
City Culture: Heavy military presence
from isolationist days

1.FC Goudini
The Rundown
Following a heartbreaking end to last season’s campaign, where they missed out on qualifying for an IFCF spot on the final matchday, 1.FC Goudini is back with a vengeance to make sure this year won’t be a repeat of last year. And honestly? It may have been an advantage for the club to not have those added pressures of playing more football than they needed to this season. They're the definition of all gas, no breaks, when it comes to creating chances and scoring goals. A chance to focus solely on domestic football without having to travel out to the edges of the multiverse is a scintillating proposition—even if it initially isn't what it was cracked up to be when it first came up. You've got the league and the cup to focus on. Nothing more, nothing less. And that, in itself, is an advantage our other title challengers did not have coming into the season.
The Hope
Drummond Douglas, who led the league in scoring last season while also leading the scoring charge for Gortolekua in the Baptism of Fire, will certainly need his services to be in tip-top shape once more. You have that striker ball out like he has over the last year or so? Your chances of winning everything skyrocket when there's someone as good as him playing. And you've got the midfielder Myra Randal, hoping to continue her playmaking that she excelled in. But the new signing in Casssadagan midfielder Taylor Browne should be the bees knees of signings. An extremely quick player who never was able to flourish with previous club Starksville United, Browne is the exact mold of player that Myra Randal wants to work with in midfield. "I need my midfielders to be quick, speedy and ready to move whenever and wherever," Randal told Totegia, after one of our reporters found her moonlighting as a DJ at a post-BoF party. "You bring someone like Taylor in, who is hell to deal with in the rondo, to add to our speed and there's something special and magical coming."
The Reality
So much has come into fruition for 1.FC Goudini that maybe they'll be really glad things turned out the way they turned out. The national team's attacking core is built around two of their star players, and they know Seagulls football means scoring football. All they have to focus on is scoring goals and winning those goals. There's a different swagger to these players coming into the new season that was missing when we did this rodeo the first time around. No team in the league scored as many goals as Goudini did last season, even if they weren't able to make it into the IFCF positions at the end of 30 matchdays. But I don't think fans of Goudini's Pride should be so worried about missing out on the IFCF when there's going to be so much better that's in store for the club. Personally? I see a title in their future. The near future. As in, this season future. Everything seems to be in its right place, and nothing Is bound to be as good as a championship for Goudini. Here's to 30 matchdays of hell.

Lower Divisions Preview
Igonousta Preview
Aina Alla KL (P)
Sähköä Fitness (P)
Basozuria SF (P)
SFC Hiria
Lumipalloja JK
Futbola Giza Kolorea
Haize Bolada
Sporting Laskuri
Ilmari FC
MM Disko PJK
Golden Autumn SC
Kunnianosoitus SJK
Äläitke MJK
Sporting Ekletikoa (R)
US Piiri (R)
Osoa Ilunduz IFK (R)

Nothing screams high-quality like the Gortoleki second division, the Igonousta. And nothing screams high-quality journalism like a lone paragraph (maybe two, if I’m feeling lucky) to preview the whole dang thing. Aina Alla KL will be the club to beat this season. Their core is maturing and aging at the right time, which should create a splash-and-a-half for the rest of the league to have to deal with. They’ll be a fun club to follow, if you want to pick some lower division team to root for. Sähköä Fitness, meanwhile, loves to play football that isn’t pretty. “The uglier, the better,” is how they rock it over there. And Seth Tjäder’s Basozuria SF should be seeing a look-up into the Ohorekunnia, with their young core slowly starting to get better with each passing minute. They’re going to be a project to follow for the long-run, and it’s best to hop on the train now before it takes off from the station.

Hasisukas Preview
AFK 2019 Riittävä (P)
The Seers (P)
Braggsville City (P)
2JK Syväsakki
NJK Tiet
Galtzada FC
Gaitzikikusi 90’
Gardena Gogoa KK
Sinesgarriak CS
United Players of Myrtle
Paperezko Begiak CF
Haamulanka HJK
Iltaavarten JK
Kometa Kosmikoa (R)
GS Onddoa (R)
Braggsville Sarian (R)

The big thing to know this season in the Gortoleki third division is this: Braggsville, one of the few cities on Boyd Island that isn’t Goudini, has a derby here in this division. One of those teams will be very happy, as seen above. The other will not be. As for the other 14 teams in the league, it’s really a toss-up here. I’m bound to be wrong about some of the other teams to be promoted or relegated because we don’t have dedicated reporters that cover football in those divisions and below, which reminds me to ask you all to please make a donation to Totegia, which are tax-deductible. Thanks!

Kalija Gortolekua Explainer
The Kalija Gortolekua, the nation's new domestic football cup, is set to finally kick off this season following logistical issues on setting up from the Gortoleki Football Union's end. From the Union's 160 club members (16 per province), 10 provincial winners will be found that enter the National Round. In the provincial rounds, four groups of four clubs will play in a double-round robin group stage. The winner of each group will enter the knock-out phase of the tournament, where single-elimination process will determine a provincial winner.

Teams entering the knock-out round will be seeded based on their current league table position, in which the bottom four seeded teams will participate in a single-elimination National Play-In round to bring the field from 10 to 8. The top six seeds will receive a direct bye to the quarter-finals. From there, it is a single-elimination knock-out to determine who will win the Kalija.

This is Totegia's predictions for who will emerge out of each province victorious:
The Arcatas: 1.FC Goudini
Cerati: SFC Hiria
Haize Eklektikoa: KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Ibaiaho: SD Marriubia
Kenkuijo: Tähti Roverit JK
Mazespolia: Berriaordena GZ
Mustamaa: Voitamatton AJK
Näytteet: FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Perjantaina: 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Seinät Capital City: Astraalitaso

by **Gortolekua** » Mon May 30, 2022 3:10 pm

Rey's Romp Across the League: Ohorekunnia MDs 1-6 + Lower league look-ins + Kalija Gortolekua early Matchdays
by Lempi Rey

A map with all of the participating top-flight teams this season.

Welcome to the best renewed five-part Gortoleki football drama.

Sixteen teams, awaiting for this day to come like no other, have finally encountered the beginning of the season that has seemed so far away for so long. But none of that matters now, for the Ohorekunnia is back and ready to begin the second season of nationwide football. We've even included a map to show you where each top-flight team is located in the country. No surprise that, given our nation's higher population concentration in the southern half, more teams are located in Olekua than Gortola. That doesn't matter too much, though. Football is finally back, baby. And I have some Matchdays to explore and report on, don't I?

MATCHDAY ONE
FC Suteakuepa 0–0 Tähti Roverit JK
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 1–1 Kyynel PK
Astraalitaso 2–1 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 SC Tiedemessut
fc auringonottaja 3–2 SD Marriubia
Voitamatton AJK 1–0 Berriaordena GZ
1.FC Goudini 3–5 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Top de Afaragloto 3–2 RJK Joskus

If you are a betting person who supports chaos through and through, let me tell you: This is your day for chaos. Of the projected club expected to finish in the top four, only two won their matches. All of the championship contenders dropped points on this opening matchday: title-holders FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale saw an early Delice Nieminen goal neutralized by Jolyon Danell in an opening day Näytteet derby; Tähti Roverit JK went scoreless for all 90-plus minutes alongside FC Suteakuepa and KftA Lehoi Hegodun dropped all three points in a surprise loss to last year's surprise relegation candidate Astraalitaso, the latter seeing its goal supply provided by Anni Wang and Merche Taggert. And in Thankful Gibson's return to Fort Arcata as one of Tuomo's Team, the 32-year-old bagged in a brace to stun for a 5-3 over her formal rival. Not a bad start to the campaign given the departures of three key players from last season.

On the bright side for the expected top four teams, Turvatyyny and Voitamatton both finished with nail-biting 1-0 wins at home. Who else but Torcull Allan to score for Turvatyyny, while the match in Aurinkolasit had a lone nod from Elias Herrera on the scoresheet for the new kid on the block. Lone goals are okay, when you just happen to neutralize any chance of Berriaordena GZ scoring. Just 33 percent possession across 90 minutes, one shot on goal in the 49th minute, zero morale following that loss. Today's word of the day for Berriaordena: yikes.

Speaking of one of the promotees, all the new kids on the block had great days at the office. SD Marrirubia fell 3-2 to fc auringonottaja. On top of the sunbathers' victory, complete with two goals from Ståle Alexandersson and one from Þórir Forsberg, they were helped by a double-booking from Fumio Tagawa, Marriubia's new signing and centre-back. "I let my emotions get the best of me on this one right here," Tagawa said after the match. "Two yellows in the box to leave me out of the next game already? It's not a good start for me, and I promise the Marriubia fanbase that there will be better coming from yours truly."

MATCHDAY TWO
Tähti Roverit JK 3–2 RJK Joskus
Päiväunelijoita KUY 1–0 Top de Afaragloto
Berriaordena GZ 4–2 1.FC Goudini
SD Marriubia 0–1 Voitamatton AJK
SC Tiedemessut 1–2 fc auringonottaja
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 1–2 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Kyynel PK 0–1 Astraalitaso
FC Suteakuepa 0–0 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale

There's nothing an early season provincial derby to get the blood boiling for the season. Just ask Tähti Roverit and RJK Joskus, two clubs that duked it out early to a 3-2 match. Joskus had a 2-1 lead entering the 80th minute, but a brace from super-sub Silje Saarinen thanks to assists from her brother, Julio Saarinen meant some well-deserved sibling love that brought the Star Rovers three points. "It's crazy that my brother assisted me with those goals," Silje Saarinen said post-match. "I always wanted to be him when I was younger, and to have him feed in some goals to me, that's something I'll never forget." Gustav Bergman scored a rare goal for the Tähti Roverit as well in the match; Joskii's goal-scorers included Brody Stanton and Melody Hyland.

FC Suteakuepa, meanwhile, has celebrated its two scoreless draws to start the season thanks to the heroics of young starting goalkeeper Melissina Archie. The penned Di Bradini Cup-starter found herself winning two Player of the Match Awards in the first two starts to the season. Her shot-stopping heroics prevented either of their offenses from causing any damage to the scoreline.

Straying away from the capital but sticking with a capital-based team, Nepharim striker Sigrid Blaxand of Astraalitaso scored her first goal—and her first match-decider—in Gortoleki football. "We need to keep playing like this if we want to avoid a repeat of what happened last season here," Blaxand wrote in a thread of chirps on Chirper. "I heard that this club didn't do too hot last season, so I'm going to give it my all. That's what I'm signed here to do."

Over in Marriubia, the Myry Vivar "Welcome to Gortolekua Tour" had its first pitstop and showcase: The young Auren striker's wondergoal from 25 metres out stunned everyone in the stadium—bar Vivar. Skjeggestad was disappointed in the goal because Vivar had much safer options in passing, but the teenager does not care. At all. "'Chat shit, score bangers' is what I strive to do every match and would you look at that—I did," Vivar told reporters at the news conference. "This is my country, and this is my league. Aurinkolasit can thank me later for what I've done."

MATCHDAY THREE
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 4–4 Tähti Roverit JK
Astraalitaso 0–0 FC Suteakuepa
1. Turvatyyny TJK 0–2 Kyynel PK
fc auringonottaja 2–1 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Voitamatton AJK 2–1 SC Tiedemessut
1.FC Goudini 5–4 SD Marriubia
Top de Afaragloto 0–1 Berriaordena GZ
RJK Joskus 1–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY

FC Suteakuepa prevented Tähti Roverit JK and FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale from scoring in each of their matches, so whatever frustrations that were held held in not scoring against a common team that's led by a frustratingly eclectic manager were hashed out over an eight-goal spectacle. If you're a fan of Roverit, there's always fun whenever Judith Berge cannot be stopped. And sure, hat tricks are great, cool and totally worth getting some form of recognition. But a three-goal showcase should net your club a three-point finish.

Blame Rosalía Bengoetxea for that.

Four assists on the day, two to Jose Maria Chandler and one each to Delice Nieminen and Mapla Salinas means split points between the two. With any other combination of results, this would be a welcome draw against a title-contender. But in a league where every dropped point matters, however, just three out of a possible nine points isn't where any reigning champ would want to be to start the season. "We've had two brilliant opponents in our first three matches stop us from getting that extra goal our squad could have produced against 13 other clubs," Kappale manager Harleigh Toivonen told journalists post-match. "It's only the third match. Don't call for my head just yet."

Two of the recent promotees, Voitamatton AJK and fc auringonottaja, continue their early success as they remain two of three teams to have won their opening set of matches. While success was more or less expected from the Aurinkolasit camp of football, Kuurotaivas' Finest certainly weren't expecting to come out this fine this early. Guiomar Lobo and Espen Mac Thaidhg have been excelling as wingbacks in manager J.P. Ogaugha's squad, and were damn near perfect in their victory over KftA Lehoi Hegodun. They each contributed to the scoreline with an assist to their names, setting up Gregers Breiner to strike home auringonottaja's two goals. Unelmatolo, the club's home base, is already proving to be a scary place for away clubs to enter.

Unexpectedly joining them in the nine-for-nine club, even to their very own fans, is Päiväunelijoita KUY. They're quiet in their success so far, keeping their heads down and their passion on high following Ivor Esteban's departure to Sporting Arkamo. Of course, there's nothing wrong with adding in one of the league's highest scorers from last Ohorekunnia to your squad either. Thankful Gibson is giving Päivä a lot to be thankful for, scoring in each of the club's first three matches (awful pun, forgive me for that one). Of course, all credit to her because it's due credit. Defensive midfielder Orville Horn, however, is the surprise glue for the Harborers in their three wins. He's helping cover the aging centre-backs (Dane Yong and Kevin Dahl) make up for their speed and the young centre-backs (Trinidad Cantú and Clímaco Karlsen) make-up for their inexperience alongside Fenton Velasco, reaching his unfortunately low ceiling.

But if they keep their heads down and put in that good workrate that's been keeping their success flowing so far, they could prove themselves to be a surprise title contender in the other 90 percent of the season.

MATCHDAY FOUR
Tähti Roverit JK 4–1 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Berriaordena GZ 1–2 RJK Joskus
SD Marriubia 4–3 Top de Afaragloto
SC Tiedemessut 0–1 1.FC Goudini
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–1 Voitamatton AJK
Kyynel PK 1–0 fc auringonottaja
FC Suteakuepa 0–1 1. Turvatyyny TJK
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 2–0 Astraalitaso

Whoops.

Not just a whoops for Tuomo's Club, but for all of our undefeated teams: all of them losers on this fourth Matchday. Tähti Roverit snapped the Daydreamers out of their league-leading fantasy with a dismantling and exposing of their backline. Strikers Judith Berge, Silje Saarinen and (somehow) centre-back Claes Janson pad their stats with goals in the victory, the latter with a rare defensive brace. One broadcaster, so stunned by Janson's two goals in the match, apologized for choice language during the match, calling it "a fucking out there better's fantasy." They're not wrong for the call, though: Some lucky schmuck bet 15 sporze and received Gśż300,000 for the winning bet.

"I didn't think anything would come out of it, in all honesty," odds-beater Martina Leonardsson told Totegia following her winning bet, blowing her nose with a Gśż50 note. "I just wanted to prove to my wife that betting is a waste of money, but now look at her. She's telling me to bet more and more. I hate football."

Speaking of teams that hate football for far different reasons: Kyynel PK and fc auringonottaja. Kyynel, well, Kyynel-balled their way into a victory over the team's last undefeated team, scoring early thanks to

Voitamatton AJK is another team that hates football this week. Invincible no more, as Salvador Foster's Winged Lions bested Voita in an uncanny 2-1 victory. Much of that can be blamed on Myry Vivar's ill-advised attempt at trying to be a centre-back instead of the striker he knows he can be. The Klub's physicality on the attacking end burned the teenager into a metaphorical pile of dust, leaving the Voitamatton defense helpless as Liv Winther scored the match-winner in the 86th minute for their first win of the season. Not a bad way to get things rolling.

Speaking of getting things rolling: "Fina-fucking-lly."

That's what one of my Kappale-supporting friends texted me following their 2-0 victory over Astraalitaso. Sure, it's not the latest a team has gotten a win (FC Suteakuepa and SC Tiedemessut have yet to get in the win column), but it definitely is out of the norm for the league champions to have gone this far without a win. But hey, it felt like clockwork to see this Kappale team comfortably win over a club that struggled last season. Rosalía Bengoetxea scored her first goal of the campaign alongside midfielder Flavio Aritza bagging his first as well.

Joining Kappale in the winners' circle for the first time this season is SD Marriubia, who had to beat relegation candidates Top de Afaragloto to get their first win of the season. It was a long way coming for Slade Leigh, scoreless in her first three matches of the season, to finally strike her first goal of the season off her marks, but kudos to her for keeping that determination going and what will hopefully be a change of fortunes for those beachgoers up in Ibaiaho.

MATCHDAY FIVE
Astraalitaso 1–2 Tähti Roverit JK
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
fc auringonottaja 1–0 FC Suteakuepa
Voitamatton AJK 1–1 Kyynel PK
1.FC Goudini 4–4 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Top de Afaragloto 1–1 SC Tiedemessut
RJK Joskus 1–2 SD Marriubia
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–3 Berriaordena GZ

A team we haven't really focused in this romp across the league is Berriaordena GZ, and I apologize for that. In the top six, ahead of Päiväunelijoita KUY who got so much praise over the first few matchdays (guilty as charged, I know), and slowly creeping up to not be relegation fodder as we approach the end of the first fifth of the season. And what a way to go ahead of Päivä than by beating them in their own home? Quincy Poe, take a bow, will ya? Two goals and an assist in the match is not a bad way to keep your club's hopes up and running in the league.

But Goudini, man oh man: What is going on over there? In the bottom half of the table, unable to find those wins that made the club so remarkable last season. Granted, an early season match against KftA Lehoi Hegodun won't help your chances either when it comes to winning, but you still need to win those matches. As a small positive, Pia Iturburua did shake off her unlucky goose egg by scoring her first goal for her new club. Scratch that though: they need to get their heads out of the sand and do an about-face on their performances so far.

1. Turvatyyny TJK, meanwhile, put any stop to Kappale's winning misfortunes. That 1-0 scoreline did not do Turvatyyny justice in their match. It should have been 4-0, 5-0 if it wasn't for María Vanhanen's goalkeeping heroics. But it doesn't matter anyways, at least not yet: a 1-0 win is still a win. loss. Again, no reason or need to freak out so much but five matchdays gone by and still on one win for the season isn't a good sign for the title-holders, if you were to ask me.

Another win for Marriubia is another positive sign for Fumio Tagawa, the Ko-orenite centre-back that's finally starting to find his rhythm in Gortoleki football. "I know there was mention of this league being an extremely high scoring league, which I wanted to get involved in because that's the kind of football I want to play," Tagawa told sports radio hosts in Marriubia. "But holy crap are all of these games extremely high scoring. I might have to play more defense than expected!"

MATCHDAY SIX
Tähti Roverit JK 1–1 Berriaordena GZ
SD Marriubia 2–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY
SC Tiedemessut 2–3 RJK Joskus
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–2 Top de Afaragloto
Kyynel PK 0–0 1.FC Goudini
FC Suteakuepa 0–2 Voitamatton AJK
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 0–0 fc auringonottaja
Astraalitaso 2–1 1. Turvatyyny TJK

With 20 percent of the season in the books, two draws mean we have two clubs who are only split by goal differential. Current title-holders FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale earned a league leading fourth draw of the season to early frontrunners auringonottaja in a scoreless effort that should've been anything but. Early-match domination should have warranted at least a goal from the squad: Ståle Alexandersson and Gregers Breiner each missed stunning sitters during the first 30 minutes that would have given the club sole possession of first place. A share atop the league will do for now, at least.

But as mentioned earlier, another club had their chance to hold their end of the deal up and didn't. A stunning draw for Tähti Roverit at home to fifth-place Berriaordena prevents the former from taking sole possession of first place. A powerful set-piece curated by "Rebel Yell" Azusa Manami and capitalized by Aretha Eliasson in the 79th minute meant split points this go-around for the two—and no first place for the Star Rovers.

So who else than Voitamatton AJK to seize the moment? A stumble from Suteakuepa striker Iacopo Fantacci led to wonderful, counter-attacking football. Anthonsen, Bautista, Herrera, 1-0 in the 39th minute. Corner in the 73rd. Vivar comes on, leaps to the angels, heads it in for 2-0. Insurance goal for victory and first place by just one goal. Plus, a win means leaving FC Suteakuepa as one of two clubs without a win in the league. "Vivar's hot head scores goals," Voita manager Esbjörn Skjeggestad said in his post-match presser. "I can forgive a hot-head, so long as he cools down eventually. He's just a kid, after all."

The other club, SC Tiedemessut, gave up a 2-0 lead at home to lose all three points in the second half. Brody Stanton and Melody Hyland are guilty as charged for ruining any sort of dreams of victory in Tiedemessut. Speaking of chokers, Top de Afaragloto could have kept KftA Lehoi Hegodun in the relegation zone following the first six Matchdays, but a late goal from national team starlet Darby Innes means no Winged Lions in the cellars—for now that is.

"It's outrageous that we're doing this poorly this early on, and I can make no excuses for it—or allow my players to do that either," Klub manager Salvador Foster mused to me at dinner ahead of a feature to be published in Press Box Magazine. "You know that I want success immediately. When it doesn't come, it hurts. But if this league is getting better overall sooner rather than later, then we need to play better sooner rather than later."

.P Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Voitamatton AJK             6    4   1   1     8    4   +4    13
 2 fc auringonottaja           6    4   1   1     8    5   +3    13
 3 Tähti Roverit JK            6    3   3   0    14    9   +5    12
 4 1. Turvatyyny TJK           6    4   0   2     6    5   +1    12
 5 Berriaordena GZ             6    3   1   2    10    8   +2    10
 6 Päiväunelijoita KUY         6    3   1   2    13   13    0    10
 7 Astraalitaso                6    3   1   2     6    6    0    10
 8 Kyynel PK                   6    2   3   1     5    3   +2     9
 9 1.FC Goudini                6    2   2   2    15   17   −2     8
10 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale        6    1   4   1     7    6   +1     7
11 SD Marriubia                6    2   1   3    14   15   −1     7
12 RJK Joskus                  6    2   0   4    11   13   −2     6
13 KftA Lehoi Hegodun          6    1   2   3    11   13   −2     5
14 Top de Afaragloto           6    1   2   3     9   11   −2     5
15 FC Suteakuepa               6    0   3   3     0    4   −4     3
16 SC Tiedemessut              6    0   1   5     5   10   −5     1

It's an early league table, but two of recent promotees are finding themselves at the top of the table following the first fifth of the season completely underway. Voitamatton AJK and fc auringonottaja are level on points with goal difference being the lone separator for the two clubs. Although it may be a surprise for fc auringonottaja to be so close to the top, this feels in line with the club gave us last season in the second division: a preference to put butts in seats and stun everyone who hates on them otherwise. Down the table, mind you, is a different story. I know most Gortoleki in the country love the sight of KftA Lehoi Hegodun near the drop zone, but we realistically know that they're going to climb out of it sooner rather than later. Same with 1.FC Goudini: the attacking football they're known for across the country means we're bound to see more positive results that bring them three points more often than not. SD Marriubia needs to pick up the pieces of its less than optimal start if they want to sniff IFCF football. And Kappale? Let's just say they need to tie less and win more. Simple instructions that they can follow for sure. They are reigning champions, after all.

.P Igonousta                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Sähköä Fitness              6    3   3   0     6    3   +3    12
 2 Äläitke MJK                 6    4   0   2    11    9   +2    12
 3 Basozuria SF                6    3   2   1     9    6   +3    11
 4 Golden Autumn SC            6    3   2   1     6    4   +2    11
 5 Kunnianosoitus SJK          6    3   1   2     8    6   +2    10
 6 US Piiri                    6    3   1   2    10    9   +1    10
 7 Aina Alla KL                6    3   0   3    11    8   +3     9
 8 Lumipalloja JK              6    3   0   3     7    6   +1     9
 9 SFC Hiria                   6    2   2   2     3    3    0     8
10 Sporting Ekletikoa          6    2   1   3     4    4    0     7
11 Ilmari FC                   6    2   1   3    11   14   −3     7
12 Haize Bolada                6    2   1   3     7   10   −3     7
13 Futbola Giza Kolorea        6    1   3   2     6    7   −1     6
14 Osoa Ilunduz IFK            6    2   0   4    10   12   −2     6
15 Sporting Laskuri            6    2   0   4     6    9   −3     6
16 MM Disko PJK                6    0   3   3     6   11   −5     3

In a really early look at the Igonousta, league favorites Aina Alla KL find themselves three points behind first, despite a superior goals for. Two points keeps them out of. The relegation zone, as two Näytteet clubs reign supreme for now. Basozuria SF currently occupies third, hoping to bounce back up following a disheartening Ohorekunnia campaign last season. Seth Tjäder, the young manager who retired prematurely to focus on bringing this Basozuria team back up, knows there's a long road ahead. SFC Hiria and Lumipalloja JK, last season's other relegated clubs, find themselves mid-table—which isn't bad for now, all things considered. But there's 24 game weeks left in the season: of course there's going to be changes.

.P Hasisukas                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Braggsville City            6    5   0   1    15    6   +9    15
 2 Galtzada FC                 6    3   3   0    14    7   +7    12
 3 2JK Syväsakki               6    3   3   0    10    5   +5    12
 4 Paperezko Begiak CF         6    4   0   2    13   10   +3    12
 5 United Players of Myrtle    6    3   2   1    14    9   +5    11
 6 Gaitzikikusi 90’            6    3   2   1    10    7   +3    11
 7 Gardena Gogoa KK            6    2   3   1    11    8   +3     9
 8 NJK Tiet                    6    2   3   1     9    9    0     9
 9 Haamulanka HJK              6    2   2   2     7    7    0     8
10 GS Onddoa                   6    1   2   3     7   11   −4     5
11 Iltaavarten JK              6    1   2   3    10   16   −6     5
12 Braggsville Sarian          6    1   1   4     9   13   −4     4
   Sinesgarriak CS             6    0   4   2     9   13   −4     4
14 The Seers                   6    1   1   4     5   14   −9     4
15 AFK 2019 Riittävä           6    0   3   3     3    6   −3     3
16 Kometa Kosmikoa             6    0   3   3     9   14   −5     3

One Braggsvile club is happy, the other less so. Not too bad though, because it's still anyone's league! Unless you're AFK 2019 Riittävä or Kometa Kosmikoa. It might be running away from you if things go on in the way they've been going on.

NOTABLE KALIJA GORTOLEKUA RESULTS
MATCHDAY ONE - played between Matchdays Two and Three
Haize Eklektikoa GROUP B
(1) KftA Lehoi Hegodun 5–2 Basozuria SF (2)
Kenkuijo GROUP D
(5) Vainmatala FC 3–1 Tähti Roverit JK (1)
Seinät GROUP B
(4) PJK Piiri 0–0 US Piiri (2)

Rule number one of the Kailja: league form never translates over to the Kalija. Just ask Tähti Roverit, losing to a fifth division team. Not good at all.

MATCHDAY TWO - played between Matchdays Five and Six
Haize Eklektikoa GROUP B
(3) Galtzada FC 3–3 KftA Lehoi Hegodun (1)
Kenkuijo GROUP B
(8) Verenrae PK 0–0 fc auringonottaja (1)
Kenkuijo GROUP D
(5) Tyhjyys SJK 1–0 Tähti Roverit JK (1)
Mustamaa GROUP A
(1) SC Tiedemessut 4–4 Voitamatton AJK (1)
Perjantaina GROUP C
(8) Rautakeuhko PK 1–1 Päiväunelijoita KUY (1)
Seinät GROUP C
(1) FC Suteakuepa 0–1 Ilmari FC (2)

Or ask them again, losing to another fifth division team. Sure, KftA, auringonottaja, and Päiväunelijoita all drew to clubs in divisions below them (the latter two well below them), but at least they didn't lose?

Again, remember this lesson: League form never translates over to the Kailja.

DIG DEEPER
>KAPPALE: Kinsley - BREATHE. This isn't the end of the world. Not yet, at least.
>VOITAMATTON: Can Myry Vivar learn what 'humility' means?
>IGONOUSTA: MM Disko PJK in talks of relocation and rebranding for next season
>BASEBALL: Gortoleki players linked to joining Llamaphant Pro Baseball club Owls

by **Gortolekua** » Sat Jun 04, 2022 11:41 am

Rey's Romp Across the League: Ohorekunnia MDs 7-12 + Lower league look-ins + More provincial matchdays in the Kalija Gortolekua
by Lempi Rey

There's nothing like more football coming your way and being dropped on your doorstep. We're continuing the romp across the Ohorekunnia as we make our way to 40 percent of this season being done. Enough chit-chat, there's matchdays to be played!

MATCHDAY SEVEN
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 Tähti Roverit JK
fc auringonottaja 1–1 Astraalitaso
Voitamatton AJK 4–0 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
1.FC Goudini 0–1 FC Suteakuepa
Top de Afaragloto 1–0 Kyynel PK
RJK Joskus 2–5 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–0 SC Tiedemessut
Berriaordena GZ 2–3 SD Marriubia

We can talk about the big matches that happened: Turvatyyny finding a last-minute spark to leapfrog Tähti Roverit in the standings on a Torcull Allan goal; the Winged Lions finally finding their magic against Joskii with two goals and three assists from Darby Innes; Marrirubia holding off an immense comeback effort thanks to centre-backs Tagawa and McFee; or even FC Suteakuepa with a massive upset over a highly-touted club off an Iacopo Fantacci goal.

A lot of these matches deserve the light of day, and they'll get their light of day—in the respective articles you can find in club-specific Totegia coverage.

But they won't see as much light this Matchday because of what went down in Aurinokolasit.

We need to talk about what went down in Aurinkolasit.

There was an expectation coming into this season that Voitamatton would have a formidable debut in the Ohorekunnia from fans, pundits, and probably even Voita itself (they certainly didn't want to admit it, knowing their self-righteousness). Win the games you're expected to win, drop points to the clubs you're expected to drop points to. Who would have thought a first-year manager would lead a cast with the weight of the city—hell, the province—on its shoulders to a thrashing of the reigning champions.

Imagine seeing a 16 year old in Myry Vivar, who—according to Auren reporters and scouts—shouldn't be seeing any footballing success at all, given the fact he wasn't offered a senior team contract, come on at 2-0, score a brace in two minutes flat to make it 4-0, and get two yellows for taking his shirt off both times to show off his abs. That itself is not fun.

But just imagine still not scoring a goal even with a player advantage. When you should be running circles against not just this, but any team for that matter, having comfortably crowned yourself monarch of the country's footballing realm to be here?

Football brings, on top of the many highs coming from it, so many lows as well. But this? This is low.

When full-time hit, there were no Kappale away fans present. They all left early. It wasn't disgust that they felt, it was heartbreak. "How did our team lose that bad? Sure, this year hasn't been the best for us, but this isn't right," one away supporter told NUM3RO1T4, a popular Kappale-centric, fan-run media channel. "This isn't what Kappale is."

Something changed in Kappale's attitude following that match. That can-do attitude of being able to pull chicken salad out of chicken poop isn't there anymore. Isittelyssä, where Kappale is based, may need to enter a state of emergency following what's going down.

MATCHDAY EIGHT
Tähti Roverit JK 2–0 SD Marriubia
SC Tiedemessut 1–0 Berriaordena GZ
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Kyynel PK 1–1 RJK Joskus
FC Suteakuepa 4–0 Top de Afaragloto
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 1–3 1.FC Goudini
Astraalitaso 3–0 Voitamatton AJK
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 fc auringonottaja

Let's recenter ourselves here; there are 15 other teams we need to cover here in the top flight. And not many teams had too noteworthy of a result to cover, except for the two clubs currently sitting atop the league.

Voitamatton, coming off a 4-0 thrashing of the once-champions, were dismantled in return by a Bárbara Sanderson-led Astraalitaso. Voita sure could have used Myry Vivar's help, but a red card from last match will not be your friend. That allowed the Astronomers to take off from ground control in Seinät today. It's been a quiet rise for Raketit, who find themselves in fourth for the time being. You might say this is an IFCF battle, but Astraalitaso striker and club captain Sigrid Blaxand disagrees.

"Here's a news-flash for everyone: We've still got 22 of these suckers to go," Blaxand said post-match, scoring a goal before being subbed in the 70th minute. "We've got a ways to go before we can seriously consider ourselves in a race for anything, let alone top four."

And who else but 1. Turvatyyny TJK to seize the moment for once after not being able to grasp first for most of the inaugural Ohorekunnia. Torcull Allan, once again, found his name on the scoresheet to help lift his club to the top following this matchday. It's a good return to form for him, seeing as his scoring wasn't up to par over the season's first 20 percent. But if he picks up here onwards, there's no telling what's the ceiling is for the national team starter.

Today's win for Sinivalkoinen against fc auringonottaja means a view high and mighty fit for the best atop the league. Being on top comes with a price, mind you: a target on your back. And what better start your weigh as The Team to Beat(TM) than a one-versus-two match-up the following matchday? Voitamatton awaits at home, looking to bounce back from their thrashing. And do they have a chip on their shoulder to fight off.

Over in Isittelyssä, KAPPALECON is now a thing. A warning system devised by ultras to determine "how fucked we might be," according to fans, KAPPALECON debuted at level 3 following the loss at home to 1.FC Goudini. It was important win for the Seagulls, who find themselves struggling with the expectations and integrating their offensive heart, who are key to the national team's recent successes. But they'll take any win they can get, especially Myra Randal. A bit weaker this season than last, one of the Boom Best Eleven found her groove with a goal, an assist, and two key chances created.

"We know it's not been easy for our club so far," Randal chirped out on her Chirper account. "But it could be worse: You could be a Kappale fan."

MATCHDAY NINE
fc auringonottaja 1–3 Tähti Roverit JK
Voitamatton AJK 1–0 1. Turvatyyny TJK
1.FC Goudini 2–1 Astraalitaso
Top de Afaragloto 0–0 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
RJK Joskus 4–1 FC Suteakuepa
Päiväunelijoita KUY 0–1 Kyynel PK
Berriaordena GZ 1–0 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
SD Marriubia 0–0 SC Tiedemessut

Some of my journalist friends in Afaragloto, a remarkable and gorgeous beachside town for any multiverse readers out there, sent me a copy of their sports' section following this Matchday. All of them, to a certain extent, had a similar spin on the same headline everyone ran the next morning, following Top's match:

"Afaragloto beats reigning champions 0-0."

Now, of course, it's a supposedly funny trope to have draws be silly victories if they're unexpected. But with the way Afaragloto played over the weekend, it is a damn shame that they did not win this one. I'm not sure what this says about Afaragloto, but I damn well know that something is going wrong with Kappale. Two points out of 15 is relegation form. And relegation form in this league more likely than not means you're in the drop zone. Oh, would you look at that: Kappale's right there in 15th.

Can you blame everything on a loss, say to a promoted team you should have beat? Possibly, when it's that demoralizing. But there's more to being in 15th than an psyche-altering loss. You have to look at the players. None of them are delivering at the level that was once expected from the Kappale squad last season. And, according to a majority of Kappale sources, some newcomers to the club may not be getting along with the rest of the squad—and even hampering squad morale altogether. Things aren't rosy, to say the least.

"This is not okay. We know how talented Rosí [Bengoetxea] is as a player, but as a teammate? They could not be a more toxic source for this club," a Kappale source told Totegia, who was granted anonymity due to fear of repercussion from their employer. "Never in my life have I seen someone so self-centered—I mean, it was a bad sign when she went up and demanded a transfer out last season in public, but holy shit is she toxic."

Bengoetxea, when reached out for comment, referred Totegia to a recent social media post she made, captioned "Hate me now, thank me later."

KAPPALECON is at level 2, now. But how bad can it get for them? Surely there can't be worse.

But if you're at the top of the table, worse is a different kind of feeling. You're fighting for your life to hold on to something that is so precious to you (first place), and just as you get ahold of it, someone yanks it from you. Turvatyyny meets Voitamatton and experiences that firsthand. Erika Solomon, a normally reliable centre-back for her club, found herself on the scoresheet for the opposition. A somewhat rare own goal off a poorly timed jump during a Voita corner meant three dropped points.

The real fun right now, following is the battle for fourth place. Four clubs—Astraalitaso, Päiväunelijoita KUY, 1.FC Goudini, and fc auringonottaja—are level on points with 14. Only goal differential splits the clubs. Kyynel PK and Berriaordena GZ are a point behind—and set to face each other next matchday. Things are starting to cook up as we begin to see the season start to finally take ahold.

MATCHDAY TEN
Tähti Roverit JK 1–0 SC Tiedemessut
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–2 SD Marriubia
Kyynel PK 1–3 Berriaordena GZ
FC Suteakuepa 4–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 0–1 RJK Joskus
Astraalitaso 0–1 Top de Afaragloto
1. Turvatyyny TJK 4–2 1.FC Goudini
fc auringonottaja 1–4 Voitamatton AJK

You might as well be playing musical chairs if you want to be in fourth place, because every single team with 14 points lost. Again, for emphasis: Every single team with 14 points lost.

Top de Afaragloto managed a stunning upset to keep them out of the drop zone with a 1-0 road victory against Astraalitaso, courtesy of a Martha Gerhardsson goal. On the other side of the capital, FC Suteakuepa outclassed Tuomo's Club with a 4-2 victory and entered themselves in to the fourth place conversation with 12 points on the season.

In the 1st Derby (aptly and creatively named because both clubs have a "1" in their name), 1.FC Goudini's hope to breakaway from the pack were stopped by 1. Turvatyyny TJK, looking to stay in the title race. And fc auringonottaja's loss to Voitamatton made sure the latter could maintain their league-leading position with a comfortable 4-1 victor between promotees.

Everything going the way it did this matchday meant all of the following was true:

The Kyynel PK/Berriaoardena GZ rendezvous on this Matchday effectively became a match for fourth.
There was another first-versus-second match for Voitamatton against Tähti Roverit on the next Matchday.
This league is downright unpredictable.

Looking at the now in the Kyynel-Berriaordena match, Quincy Poe's first-half brace proved important to his club's victor against a Kyynel squad notorious for their defensive prowess. "It's always going to be a pain playing them, because their whole philosophy involves smothering any semblance of attacking football," Poe said post-match. "But we can play extremely well and show that we've got what it takes to compete with the big guns."

Down the table, things got worse for Kappale. But maybe for now, things could be absolutely great for Kappale. Wonderful, even. They've got a "friend"—using the loosest term of the word possible—in the relegation zone with them as well. KftA Lehoi Hegodun sits two points above Kappale in 14th and in the relegation zone (both are clear of SC Tiedemessut, dead last with 5 points). Both clubs are aware of their presence in the bottom half of the table, but one manager seems more confident than their counterpart about their chances of getting out.

"We're all unified in knowing that we've played awfully in this first third of the season," KftA manager Salvador Foster said at a pre-Matchday Eleven presser. "But we're a whole unit. We know there's a tight ship run here, and we're going to clear the murky waters and remind everyone why we are the Klub—with a K—for the Almighty."

MATCHDAY ELEVEN
Voitamatton AJK 3–5 Tähti Roverit JK
1.FC Goudini 1–0 fc auringonottaja
Top de Afaragloto 1–0 1. Turvatyyny TJK
RJK Joskus 0–2 Astraalitaso
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Berriaordena GZ 0–1 FC Suteakuepa
SD Marriubia 0–1 Kyynel PK
SC Tiedemessut 3–6 KftA Lehoi Hegodun

For the second time in three Matchdays, first and second meet for a rendezvous that leaves both sets of fans suffering heart palpitations, and the rest of the country in awe of what this sport brings.

The Sininen Linnoitus was filled to capacity in Aurinkolasit for this match-up, all their fans bouncing up and down, ready to see a thrilling victory. Of course, that hope for a thrilling victory ended up being a scathing retort from Tähti Roverit and then some. It was a case of a team that had been there before versus a club whose year away from top-flight football meant a less experienced squad. An early 2-0 lead in the first 20 minutes, with goals by Veronika Mac Cailein and Edvin Bergman, got shut down with a Judith Berge and Kennet Laakkonen goal-scoring partnership by half-time.

Right when Voitamatton thinks they've got a solid enough 3-2 lead in the 79th minute, all that pressure from early on just comes crumbling at the arena. Three goals in 16 minutes from Leijalentäjät. Toni Aritza cutting inside and scoring with a curler of a shot to level the match? Check. Catrine Mäkinen's free-kick howler to exchange leads following a brash foul by Voitamatton's Waldemar Anthonsen? Yes. And a stoppage time penalty converted by Gustav Bergman to add insult to injury? It's there.

"My number isn't retired by this club because I gave away leads, or I was weak," Voitamatton manager Esbjörn Skjeggestad told the press following his club's loss. "I got my number retired because I proved myself to be the best under pressure. That is what this club demands of its players. Frankly, I'm embarrassed by our club's performance. We've done great so far, but this loss almost undoes all our progress. We must move forward but we must remember when we failed. We will make sure this sort of collapse never happens again."

With this result, Tähti Roverit jumps over Voita to take sole possession of first heading into Matchday Twelve, or the 40 percent mark of the season. Despite the loss, Voitamatton maintains second place a one-point lead following a Turvatyyny loss to Top de Afaragloto, who may not be relegation candidates after all with their surprise wins and points over the course of this fifth of the season.

If the Star Rovers and Voitamatton continue their overall form, the return leg for this one could really determine what the rest of the season looks like

MATCHDAY TWELVE
Tähti Roverit JK 2–2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Kyynel PK 0–2 SC Tiedemessut
FC Suteakuepa 0–0 SD Marriubia
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 4–4 Berriaordena GZ
Astraalitaso 0–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY
1. Turvatyyny TJK 5–1 RJK Joskus
fc auringonottaja 2–1 Top de Afaragloto
Voitamatton AJK 4–4 1.FC Goudini

If you needed big winners on this matchday, look no further than 1. Turvatyyny TJK. In fact, most results the club cares about went Turvatyyny's way this Matchday.

Following a 5-1 victory over RJK Joskus and dropped points from Voitamatton, Turvatyyny was able to take over second heading into the 40 percent mark of the season. Both Voitamatton and Tähti Roverit JK dropped points today with draws to 1.FC Goudini and KftA Lehoi Hegodun respectively—both of whom aren't as entrenched yet in the IFCF conversation than last season.

Kappale is in the relegation zone, which is great for their supporters. After all, it's Kappale who broke Turvatyyny fans' hearts last season in blocking them from seizing any opportunity they could to take over first place last season.

The lone downside is fellow provincial rivals Päiväunelijoita KUY won today as well—convincingly over Astraalitaso to boot as well. But believe it or not, they're okay with that result. After all, next matchday is the Perjantaina Derby. They'll have to make the long journey to Kuunallas' coast from the Tietokone, deep in Gortolekua's inland, but derby days are special and make the journey worth it. Especially if it meant stealing a victory at home.

But the Harborers have a lot of fortune in seeing their young centre-backs Trinidad Cantú and Climaco Karlsen blossom into a formidable partnership when given the chance to play together. The last two matches, against Astraalitaso and Kappale, saw the two join Fenton Velasco in a back-three. It was some of Päivä's best performances of the season, and something manager Owen Roncione is taking note of.

"Obviously, it's my task to develop these players into the finest players and beings we can offer," Roncione told Päivä-TV in their weekly sit-down interview. "But I need to make sure the minutes they're playing isn't going to open up the door to chronic injuries and hampering their longterm fitness. Give them a few years before you really start to see them blossom."

.P Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Tähti Roverit JK           12    7   4   1    27   16  +11    25
 2 1. Turvatyyny TJK          12    8   0   4    17   10   +7    24
 3 Voitamatton AJK            12    7   2   3    24   17   +7    23
 4 Päiväunelijoita KUY        12    6   2   4    23   21   +2    20
 5 1.FC Goudini               12    5   3   4    27   28   −1    18
 6 Berriaordena GZ            12    5   2   5    20   18   +2    17
 7 Astraalitaso               12    5   2   5    13   12   +1    17
 8 fc auringonottaja          12    5   2   5    13   16   −3    17
 9 FC Suteakuepa              12    4   4   4    11   10   +1    16
10 Kyynel PK                  12    4   4   4     9   10   −1    16
11 Top de Afaragloto          12    4   3   5    13   17   −4    15
12 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         12    3   5   4    28   25   +3    14
13 SD Marriubia               12    3   4   5    19   22   −3    13
14 RJK Joskus                 12    4   1   7    20   27   −7    13
15 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       12    1   6   5    13   20   −7     9
16 SC Tiedemessut             12    2   2   8    11   19   −8     8

Let's pause for a second and ignore what's going on at the top of the table right now, because it is still a little too early to focus on that in this very moment. Because it's not too early to focus on the bottom of the table. And let's ask the simple question: What in heaven's name is happening with Kappale? One win after 12 matches, two points out of a possible 18 over the last six matches isn't good. We know KAPPALECON is a thing now, but we have to remind ourselves that there's still 18 matches left in the season. After all, KftA Lehoi Hegodun is close to the drop zone themselves and there's no freaking out with their camp of sorts. Yes, there's talks of a toxic work environment with their star signing not being cracked up to be, but they're professional enough to realize what's going on. This will get fixed soon.

.P Igonousta                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Aina Alla KL               12    9   0   3    26   12  +14    27
 2 Äläitke MJK                12    7   3   2    25   19   +6    24
 3 Basozuria SF               12    6   3   3    26   17   +9    21
 4 Sähköä Fitness             12    6   3   3    14   11   +3    21
 5 Golden Autumn SC           12    5   5   2    16   13   +3    20
 6 SFC Hiria                  12    5   3   4    10    8   +2    18
 7 Sporting Laskuri           12    6   0   6    12   14   −2    18
 8 Ilmari FC                  12    5   2   5    24   25   −1    17
 9 Sporting Ekletikoa         12    5   2   5    16   17   −1    17
10 US Piiri                   12    5   2   5    23   25   −2    17
11 Kunnianosoitus SJK         12    4   2   6    14   18   −4    14
12 Lumipalloja JK             12    4   1   7    11   13   −2    13
13 Osoa Ilunduz IFK           12    3   3   6    15   20   −5    12
14 MM Disko PJK               12    3   3   6    14   19   −5    12
15 Haize Bolada               12    2   3   7    17   26   −9     9
16 Futbola Giza Kolorea       12    1   5   6    12   18   −6     8

Aina Alla KL, following a mid start to their season, show why they're the favorites for promotion by winning all six games in this fifth of the Igonousta season. Talks of a possible relocation for MM Disko PJK may have lit a fire in them to win their first three matches of the season, but it's they're still located in the drop zone. Basozuria SF holds that third promotion spot on goal differential comfortably, but just three points separates third from seventh, meaning it's still anybody's spot to bargain for.

.P Hasisukas                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Paperezko Begiak CF        12    7   3   2    25   17   +8    24
 2 Braggsville City           12    7   2   3    23   15   +8    23
 3 2JK Syväsakki              12    5   4   3    24   18   +6    19
 4 United Players of Myrtle   12    5   4   3    25   21   +4    19
 5 Galtzada FC                12    4   6   2    22   15   +7    18
 6 Gardena Gogoa KK           12    4   6   2    20   16   +4    18
 7 GS Onddoa                  12    5   3   4    23   22   +1    18
 8 Haamulanka HJK             12    4   5   3    15   15    0    17
 9 Sinesgarriak CS            12    4   4   4    17   18   −1    16
10 Gaitzikikusi 90’           12    4   3   5    17   18   −1    15
11 NJK Tiet                   12    3   5   4    20   25   −5    14
12 Braggsville Sarian         12    3   4   5    18   21   −3    13
13 Iltaavarten JK             12    2   5   5    20   27   −7    11
14 Kometa Kosmikoa            12    2   4   6    15   20   −5    10
15 The Seers                  12    2   4   6     8   20  −12    10
16 AFK 2019 Riittävä          12    1   6   5    10   14   −4     9

A bad run of form allowed for Paperezko Begiak CF to take the lead over Braggsville City in the Hasisukas following 12 matchdays. In a staunchly Arcatan endeavor, United Players of Myrtle find themselves close to that third promotion spot, which could give two clubs from The Arcatas province to jump up to the second division. It is a closer affair down below, with five clubs considered contenders for relegation to the fourth division, which Totegia doesn't pay me enough to cover. All in all, 18 matches are left to be played, and there's so much more left out there for all clubs across the nation.

NOTABLE KALIJA GORTOLEKUA RESULTS
MATCHDAY THREE - played between Matchdays Eight and Nine
Cerati GROUP C
(2) SFC Hiria 0-0 Paperezko Begiak CF (3)
Perjantaina GROUP C
(1) Päiväunelijoita KUY 7–2 JK Anima (10)
Seinät GROUP B
(2) US Piiri 1–0 Astraalitaso (1)
The Arcatas GROUP C
(3) Braggsville Sarian 0–1 Braggsville City (3)

Braggsville City treats Braggsville Sarian like the little brother they are, and that's perfectly fine given there's four times this season the two will face off, being drawn in the same provincial qualifier group for the Kalija. But what isn't fine is just how brutally Päiväunelijoita KUY destroyed 10th division club JK Anima. The fourth official didn't even give any stoppage time and the ref blew the whistle as soon as minute 90 hit. That's how you know a match is brutal.

MATCHDAY FOUR - played between Matchdays Eleven and Twelve
Haize Eklektikoa GROUP B
(2) Basozuria SF 1–1 KftA Lehoi Hegodun (1)

In an encounter from two seasons ago, before nationwide football was a thing in Gortolekua, Basozuria SF got the best of Lehoi Hegodun—the team they beat for the Haize Eklektikoa provincial title—in a thrilling...1-1 draw? Given the history between the two, and that fact most of Basozuria's title-winning squad retired after beating Lehoi Hegodun for the provincial title, this is a moral victory for Basozuria given that they didn't expect to be here so soon.

DIG DEEPER
>KAPPALE: Kinsley - Start hyperventilating, but remember: You're still breathing!
>LEHOI HEGODUN: Teilaz - We're fine, stop worrying. We're not going down
>PÄIVÄ: Karlsen and Cantú: The pairing of the future, today
>CURLING: Projections for the CURL Gortolekua league this season

by **Gortolekua** » Sat Jun 11, 2022 10:10 pm

Rey's Romp Across the League: Ohorekunnia MDs 13-18 + Provincial Semi-Finals in Kalija + Lower league look-ins
by Lempi Rey

We're going to make it past the halfway point and the 60 percent mark following the recap of these Matchdays, which means the end is closer than the start. Plus, we'll recap and examine the provincial knock-out rounds of the Kailua Gortolekua.

MATCHDAY THIRTEEN
1.FC Goudini 1–0 Tähti Roverit JK
Top de Afaragloto 3–0 Voitamatton AJK
RJK Joskus 0–0 fc auringonottaja
Päiväunelijoita KUY 1–5 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Berriaordena GZ 0–1 Astraalitaso
SD Marriubia 1–1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
SC Tiedemessut 1–0 FC Suteakuepa
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 4–0 Kyynel PK

Thirteen gameweeks in and there's nothing like approaching that unlucky number decided arbitrarily by a bunch of strangers we'll never meet. For Päiväunelijoita KUY and Voitamatton AJK, 13 might be their awful omen given how bad today was for them. Voita was held scoreless against a relegation-projected Afaragloto side that just would not die thanks to a commendable shift from Ainsley Butts. The 33-year-old's shift led to a goal and two assists across the match—a rarity for the once self-centered Berriaordena GZ striker. "When you've got the world working against you, you learn to look out for those who look out for you," Butts said, holding her Player of the Match award. "This is to stay up. We know we can do it."

The Harborers, meanwhile, lost a massive provincial derby at home to their rivals who just happen to be atop the table following the end. Three of the best goals you'll ever see from Torcull Allan were insult to injury, as Turvatyyny climbed back into first following a Star Rovers loss. So much for fourth place for Päivä on top of that too; Goudini finally climbed into an IFCF position with their win over Tähti Roverit.

KAPPALECON, meanwhile, has reached level 1 during the unluckiest of Matchdays. SC Tiedemessut, the league's basement-dwellers, pulled out a surprise 1-0 victory at home thanks to a goal from Rosalía Bengoetxea's replacement Misha Saarinen. Perfect timing to rub it in, as FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale's winless streak was extended to eight following a last-minute own goal from, you guessed it, Rosalía Bengoetxea. Kappale's traveling fans didn't even boo the club, make it pour trash, or anything associated with immense hatred for their club. What did they do, then? They collectively turned away from the pitch, disgusted. And why wouldn't they be? They're in dead last and worlds apart from where they once were: at the top of the football pyramid. The fans were disgusted. And Harleigh Toivonen was disgusted too.

"I'm not the guy to be leading Kappale following a shambolic performance of sorts. No manager should keep their job following these kinds of performances," Toivonen told the press following the match. "Following a discussion with our board, they will accept my resignation with immediate effect. Assistant manager Georgene Vidal has agreed to try to right the ship for the rest of the season."

Seventeen matchdays left to go. Georgene Vidal is hoping they're better than the first thirteen. But with a star player in Rosalía Bengoetxea allegedly poisoning team chemistry as Kappale is set to take on her former club, you might just skip this Matchday.

MATCHDAY FOURTEEN
Tähti Roverit JK 2–0 Kyynel PK
FC Suteakuepa 0–1 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 2–2 SC Tiedemessut
Astraalitaso 1–2 SD Marriubia
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 Berriaordena GZ
fc auringonottaja 3–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Voitamatton AJK 3–4 RJK Joskus
1.FC Goudini 3–4 Top de Afaragloto

It's bad enough to be on the receiving end of a hat-trick, but it's even worse when it happens two matches in a row. And it was after being up 2-0 in the first half. And the third goal comes in stoppage time during the second half. Gregers Breiner's hat-trick was humiliating to the Päiväunelijoita players. Their fans got insult added to injury when Torcull Allan replied to Breiner's chirp with a handshake emoji meme where the butt of the joke was Päivä. Ouch.

Down in Isittelyssä, the "We Hate Rosalía Bengoetxea" derby between the two worst teams in the league—15th place and former club SC Tiedemessut against current club and last-place FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale—the derby's namesake was benched by caretaker manager Georgene Vidal to prevent any distractions from "hindering the club any more than we already are." But despite Bengoetxea's off-pitch disharmony, this was a match that could have benefitted from her presence on the pitch. Sure, she's more toxic off-pitch than a poison dart frog, but when you're taking on an SC Tiedemessut side that should be easily beatable, there's no reason not to have a midfielder as naturally talented as her on there—even if the consequences are dire.

But who would have guessed it that Top de Afaragloto would enter the top four race following a surprise road win against 1.FC Goudini? Despite excellent work from Cassadagan midfielder Taylor Brown to play a role in all three goals, Top de Afaragloto simply could not die. Martha Gerhardsson was extremely clutch with a brace to keep Afaragloto alive in the match. Félix Evangelista turned back the clock with a beautiful angled shot that went into to top right corner. And Ainsley Butts, saving the day once again, came in with a last-minute winner to steal the points in Goudini. Who knows, maybe we are seeing a deep surprise coming out of this Afaragloto squad?

SD Marriubia, meanwhile, is finally playing like the squad they were hyped up to be at the start of the season. Fumio Tagawa, the offensively-apt centre-back, found himself on the scoresheet in the 29th minute, giving the Rubies a 2-1 lead before being instrumental in keeping SD Marribuia's lead for the remaining 61 minutes of the match. He's playing with something to prove because he knows there's much more meant for SD Marribuia—and him as well.

MATCHDAY FIFTEEN
Top de Afaragloto 0–1 Tähti Roverit JK
RJK Joskus 2–1 1.FC Goudini
Päiväunelijoita KUY 3–2 Voitamatton AJK
Berriaordena GZ 2–2 fc auringonottaja
SD Marriubia 2–2 1. Turvatyyny TJK
SC Tiedemessut 3–1 Astraalitaso
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–0 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Kyynel PK 1–0 FC Suteakuepa

At the half-way point of the season, we're seeing names expected to be fighting for the championship, or at somewhere in the top half at least. A 1-0 victory on the road for Tähti Roverit JK (thanks to a saddening own goal from their Afaragloto rivals, reminding us to not take Afaragloto seriously) means we have a new team atop the league table, as a rare centre-back goal-scoring streak from Fumio Tagawa meant dropped points from Turvatyyny. But both teams might as well be in a two-horse race at this point, given that both are on 31 for the season. The rest of the league is eight points behind the two.

Meanwhile, what should have been a battle between two championship-contending teams has resulted into a match that will truly dictate who this next half of the season goes. KftA Lehoi Hegodun's convincing 2-0 victory over FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale leapfrogs the former into an IFCF position for the first time this season. Kappale is on the other end of the table: in dead last at the half-way mark. It's not pretty, it's not fun, and it's certainly a far cry away from where our title-holders were last season.

The battle for fourth (and third, while we're at it) is where most of the league's volatility remains. Three points split third from 10th place, with three clubs level on 23 points for third, fourth and fifth. Voitamatton AJK has recently encountered a skid in form, only getting one point from an available 15. It's left Voitamatton manager Esbjörn Skjeggestad in his first uncomfortable position following a relatively comfortable start to the season.

"We're not trying to have any sort of downfall if we're going to win this league," Skjeggestad said following their match. "We're collected enough to win a league, and we're certainly collected enough to not drop points from here on out. Voitamatton is used to performing well with our backs against the wall."

MATCHDAY SIXTEEN
Tähti Roverit JK 2–1 FC Suteakuepa
Kyynel PK 0–0 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 0–2 Astraalitaso
SC Tiedemessut 1–2 1. Turvatyyny TJK
SD Marriubia 3–1 fc auringonottaja
Berriaordena GZ 0–1 Voitamatton AJK
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–1 1.FC Goudini
RJK Joskus 1–1 Top de Afaragloto

Good on Skjeggestad to keep a promise, even if you have to relay on a 16-year-old in Myry Vivar to not drop points any more points. Swanky football is all that matters, especially as long as you win those football matches. And there's nothing wrong with getting back and adding another win.

But an eight-point gap is still an eight-point gap. When you've got Tähti Roverit JK being Tähti Roverit JK, securing a 2-1 victory over FC Suteakuepa, and 1. Turvatyyny TJK holding out on the road against an SC Tiedemessut side that is trying so desperately to not get relegated, things aren't going to shape up to be all that.

But it seems like we've had much of the same covering the same few teams so far. Let's focus, on say an fc auringonottaja. Once near the top of the league during the first fifth of the season, Kuurotaivas' Finest are comfortably in the middle of the pack, even following a loss to their opponents in SD Marriubia. But Greggers Breiner keeps finding the back of the net, even in losses. There's a comfortable quality of his: goalscoring. Of course, that's something you want your strikers to do.

"It's not fun to lose, so how can I care about my scoring success when we've got a loss to our name," Breiner said following five goals in three matches. "The media can talk about streaks and all that. The one streak I care about is a winning streak. And we need to get on that."

MATCHDAY SEVENTEEN
RJK Joskus 2–0 Tähti Roverit JK
Top de Afaragloto 0–0 Päiväunelijoita KUY
1.FC Goudini 5–3 Berriaordena GZ
Voitamatton AJK 1–1 SD Marriubia
fc auringonottaja 3–1 SC Tiedemessut
1. Turvatyyny TJK 2–5 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Astraalitaso 1–0 Kyynel PK
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 1–0 FC Suteakuepa

KAPPALE HAS WON A MATCH. I REAPEAT: KAPPALE HAS WON A MATCH. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

For the first time since Matchday Four, FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale can count themselves in the winner's circle. Sure, it took a victory over a club that is also firmly in the relegation zone, but you have to take any win you can get against opposition that isn't doing you any favors whatsoever. It doesn't matter, though—not today, at least. Their social media admin finally doesn't have to reply to chirps with mental health resources, fans can finally wear their replica kits in public, players can crack a smile for once...life is good today.

KAPPALECON is now at Level 2.

In news about clubs not in the relegation zone, any attempts at closing the gap for the top two were minimal this Matchday, despite both title contenders losing in both matches.

A stellar performance in Rakkaudeton from RJK Joskus, on the back of 32-year-old goalkeeper Laurencia Obando (who made 12 saves throughout the match in this Kenkuijo derby led to a surprise 2-0 victory over Tähti Roverit JK. To the east in Tietokone, KftA Lehoi Hegodun opened up shop against 1. Turvatyyny TJK. Five unique goalscorers—Liv Winther, Darby Innes, Inerki Nykvist, Morten Paz, Louise De la Cruz—appeared on the scoresheet for the Winged Lions today. Alongside two Turvatyyny goals from Edmund Traviss and Ildefonso Turnbull, it's the match with the most unique goalscorer this season.

But neither Voitamatton AJK or Päiväunelijoita KUY were able to take advantage of results elsewhere, with both clubs coming out with draws. You can thank striker Slade Leigh from SD Marriubia and goalkeeper Linnea Herman from Top de Afaragloto, respectively, for those draws. One made sure they came out with a point in the end; the other made sure they didn't lose a point in the end. You can figure out which is which.

MATCHDAY EIGHTEEN
Tähti Roverit JK 3–3 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
FC Suteakuepa 1–2 Astraalitaso
Kyynel PK 0–1 1. Turvatyyny TJK
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 5–2 fc auringonottaja
SC Tiedemessut 1–2 Voitamatton AJK
SD Marriubia 0–1 1.FC Goudini
Berriaordena GZ 2–1 Top de Afaragloto
Päiväunelijoita KUY 1–1 RJK Joskus

Wow. That certainly looked like a football match from last season between the Star Rovers and Kappale. Sure, another draw has to blow but—and this is a huge but—holding up against a title-contender and knocking points off Tähti Roverit JK has to count for some moral victory. And it takes Kappale out of dead last too. Caretaker manager Georgene Vidal agrees with the sentiment, calling a result like this a "need for the conscience."

"Benching Bengo, telling her to clear her mind for a minute and returning when she knows why she hasn't been part of something good has certainly worked wonders for our squad," Vidal said at the post-match press conference. "Our chemistry is taking some time to return to what it once was, but a draw against a fantastic crew like Roverit? You have to look everything in nuance, I will tell you that."

Taking points off the Star Rovers is especially important when you support Turvatyyny TJK. And it's beneficial that Torcull Allan won't stop being #ClutchCertified or whatever hashtag he uses on Chirper. It doesn't matter to Allan, and it certainly does not matter one bit to the fans whether he uses a silly hashtag: He's scoring when it matters. And it's bringing Turvatyyny one step closer to destiny.

Voitamatton AJK, however, is the first of the rest of the pack to reach 30 points following a 2-1 victory on the road against SC Tiedemessut in a Mustamaa derby. A goal each from Edvin Bergman and Elias Herrera, both assisted by Asbjørn Bautista, keeps Voita in the race for the title. Esbjörn Skjeggestad had two words for Faithful of the Invincibles, who stuck around in Tiedemessut following the victory.

"We're coming."

They knew exactly what that meant.

.P Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1. Turvatyyny TJK          18   12   1   5    30   19  +11    37
 2 Tähti Roverit JK           18   10   5   3    35   23  +12    35
 3 Voitamatton AJK            18    9   3   6    33   29   +4    30
 4 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         18    8   5   5    45   31  +14    29
 5 Astraalitaso               18    9   2   7    21   18   +3    29
 6 Päiväunelijoita KUY        18    8   4   6    32   33   −1    28
 7 1.FC Goudini               18    8   3   7    39   39    0    27
 8 RJK Joskus                 18    7   4   7    30   33   −3    25
 9 fc auringonottaja          18    7   4   7    24   29   −5    25
10 Top de Afaragloto          18    6   5   7    22   24   −2    23
11 SD Marriubia               18    5   7   6    28   29   −1    22
12 Berriaordena GZ            18    6   3   9    27   29   −2    21
13 Kyynel PK                  18    5   5   8    10   18   −8    20
14 FC Suteakuepa              18    4   4  10    13   18   −5    16
15 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       18    2  10   6    20   28   −8    16
16 SC Tiedemessut             18    4   3  11    20   29   −9    15

For a club that was truly on the brink of glory at points throughout the last season, only to collapse and nearly miss out on multiverses football, this must be one of the most beautiful things to see for all those Turvatyyny fans out there. Not once finishing a Matchday atop the table last season, glory inches closer and closer for Turvatyyny. Twelve matches left to go, less than half of the season left in play, and things might just end up fine for the Tietokone-based club. For IFCF positions, the close quarters are potentially seeing a wider spread, with as it's only three points that separates third from seventh. While there's expected names in the race (1.FC Goudini, KftA Lehoi Hegodun) and clubs punching slightly above their projected weight (Astraalitaso, Voitamatton AJK), Päiväunelijoita KUY continues their surprise fight for a top four spot. Down the table, Kappale's winless streak ended and it's helped them climb out of the bottom spot. With still more than a third of the season to go, who knows? A four point performance over the last two matches means there is a chance for Kappale to climb out of their nightmarish season.

.P Igonousta                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Aina Alla KL               18   12   3   3    37   18  +19    39
 2 Äläitke MJK                18    8   7   3    34   28   +6    31
 3 Sähköä Fitness             18    8   6   4    20   16   +4    30
 4 Basozuria SF               18    7   6   5    39   32   +7    27
 5 SFC Hiria                  18    7   6   5    14   11   +3    27
 6 Ilmari FC                  18    8   2   8    36   35   +1    26
 7 Golden Autumn SC           18    7   5   6    20   21   −1    26
 8 Sporting Ekletikoa         18    7   4   7    23   24   −1    25
 9 MM Disko PJK               18    6   6   6    24   24    0    24
10 Kunnianosoitus SJK         18    6   6   6    20   22   −2    24
11 Lumipalloja JK             18    7   2   9    20   17   +3    23
12 Sporting Laskuri           18    6   4   8    19   24   −5    22
13 Futbola Giza Kolorea       18    5   5   8    20   21   −1    20
14 US Piiri                   18    6   2  10    30   39   −9    20
15 Osoa Ilunduz IFK           18    4   4  10    19   32  −13    16
16 Haize Bolada               18    3   6   9    22   33  −11    15

Aina Alla KL continue their dominance atop the league, with an eight-point lead above second, and a nine-point safety net to ensure promotion. Basozuria SF and SFC Hiria, two of the three clubs relegated from last season's Ohorekunnia, are within three points of third. While there is a relative gap between 14th and 15th, four clubs—including inaugural relegatee Lumipalloja JK—are fighting to stay out of the dreaded 14th place.

.P Hasisukas                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Paperezko Begiak CF        18   11   3   4    37   26  +11    36
 2 Braggsville City           18   10   4   4    31   21  +10    34
 3 Gardena Gogoa KK           18    8   8   2    34   23  +11    32
 4 GS Onddoa                  18    9   4   5    39   30   +9    31
 5 Sinesgarriak CS            18    8   5   5    34   27   +7    29
 6 United Players of Myrtle   18    8   5   5    33   30   +3    29
 7 Galtzada FC                18    7   7   4    32   26   +6    28
 8 2JK Syväsakki              18    7   6   5    36   31   +5    27
 9 Haamulanka HJK             18    6   6   6    27   27    0    24
10 Gaitzikikusi 90’           18    5   6   7    22   25   −3    21
11 NJK Tiet                   18    5   6   7    33   39   −6    21
12 Kometa Kosmikoa            18    5   4   9    26   32   −6    19
13 AFK 2019 Riittävä          18    3   8   7    17   21   −4    17
14 Braggsville Sarian         18    4   4  10    25   35  −10    16
15 Iltaavarten JK             18    3   6   9    25   36  −11    15
16 The Seers                  18    2   4  12     9   31  −22    10

Paperezko Begiak and Braggsville City are both neck-and-neck with two points just separating the clubs, but it doesn't matter when you both go up anyways. Oh well, sporting integrity and the like matter for a reason. Again: overworked and underpaid, my Totegia editors probably don't even notice that I'm writing this in here. Pay us, pay them, pay someone specifically to cover lower league football. Thanks!

KALIJA GORTOLEKUA NOTABLE RESULTS
MATCHDAY FIVE - played between Matchdays Fourteen and Fifteen
Ibaiaho Garaikurra - Group C
(3) GS Onddoa 1–0 Top de Afaragloto (1)
Pokaali Kenkuijo - Group D
(1) Tähti Roverit JK 2–2 Tyhjyys SJK (5)
Trofeo Mazespolia - Group D
(2) Golden Autumn SC 8–0 OFK Horiamagia (7)
Mustamaa GOLD - Group A
(1) Voitamatton AJK 3–1 SC Tiedemessut (1)
Palkinto Perjantaina - Group B
(1) 1. Turvatyyny TJK 0–0 Sporting Laskuri (2)
Palkinto Perjantaina - Group C
(1) Päiväunelijoita KUY 1–2 Rautakeuhko PK (8)
Seinät Capitalia - Group C
(3) Ilmari FC 1–0 FC Suteakuepa (1)

Kenkuijo, as a province, will never let the Star Rovers live down the fact they got eliminated in the group phase of the Kalija Gortolekua. Thjyys SJK fans, in particular, will never forget that either. Also: Rest In Peace to all the OFK Horiamagia fans, who had to witness their club be on the other side of a thrashing. All six thousand of you.

MATCHDAY SIX - played between Matchdays Seventeen and Eighteen
Loreontzia Haize Eklektikoa - Group B
(8) Athletic Usaingozoa 2–2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun (1)
Ibaiaho Garaikurra - Group A
(1) SD Marriubia 2–2 Gardena Gogoa KK (3)
Pokaali Kenkuijo - Group C
(4) Maansiirtokone 2–2 fc auringonottaja (1)
Mustamaa GOLD - Group A
(1) SC Tiedemessut 9–1 Huippu FC (7)
Mustamaa GOLD - Group C
(3) Iltaavarten JK 2–1 Lumipalloja JK (2)
Seinät Capitalia - Group B
(1) Astraalitaso 1–1 US Piiri (2)
The Arcatan Championship - Group B
(9) Carola Syndicate 1–1 1.FC Goudini (1)
The Arcatan Championship - Group C
(3) Braggsville City 3–2 Braggsville Sarian (3)

SC Tiedemessut might be a barrel-scraper in the league, but never forget the vast difference that exists between top-flight and lower division clubs. Athletic Usaingozoa, however, has a field day following their draw, eliminating KftA Lehoi Hegodun from Kailua competition.

P Copa Cerati - Group A    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Futbola Giza Kolorea       6   5  0  1   15   4 +11   15    —   1–0  4–1  4–0
2 Euriglea BK                6   1  3  2    7   9  −2    6   1–0   —   2–2  1–1
3 Zeruaedo LV                6   1  3  2    9  12  −3    6   0–1  1–1   —   4–3
4 Sporting Ikusezina         6   1  2  3   11  17  −6    5   2–5  4–2  1–1   — 

P Copa Cerati - Group B    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Garbitzailea BK            6   4  1  1   15   5 +10   13    —   0–1  4–0  5–0
2 2.aCF Oztopoa              6   3  2  1   15  12  +3   11   3–4   —   2–0  5–4
3 Ikusezina Fitness          6   2  2  2    6  10  −4    8   0–0  1–1   —   2–1
4 Maitasuna KE               6   0  1  5   11  20  −9    1   1–2  3–3  2–3   — 

P Copa Cerati - Group C    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 SFC Hiria                  6   5  1  0    9   1  +8   16    —   0–0  3–1  2–0
2 Paperezko Begiak CF        6   3  1  2    7   3  +4   10   0–1   —   0–1  3–0
3 Gaitzikikusi 90’           6   2  1  3    4   7  −3    7   0–2  1–2   —   1–0
4 Koipean FK                 6   0  1  5    0   9  −9    1   0–1  0–2  0–0   — 

P Copa Cerati - Group D    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Oztopoa 1.aFK              6   3  2  1    9   5  +4   11    —   2–2  2–1  3–0
2 Karpailargia FC            6   3  2  1   11   9  +2   11   1–2   —   2–1  4–3
3 Ozpinera SC                6   1  2  3    4   6  −2    5   1–0  0–1   —   1–1
4 Gaseosa Estereoa SC        6   0  4  2    5   9  −4    4   0–0  1–1  0–0   — 

P Loreontzia Haize Eklektikoa - Group A Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Sinesgarriak CS                         6   5  0  1   15   3 +12   15    —   1–0  4–0  6–0
2 Haize Bolada                            6   3  1  2   11   6  +5   10   1–2   —   3–0  4–1
3 CA Barregarri                           6   2  1  3    6  10  −4    7   2–0  2–2   —   0–1
4 Ekletikoak                              6   1  0  5    2  15 −13    3   0–2  0–1  0–2   — 

P Loreontzia Haize Eklektikoa - Group B Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Basozuria SF                            6   4  1  1   12  10  +2   13    —   1–1  2–1  1–0
2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun                      6   3  3  0   21  13  +8   12   5–2   —   5–4  5–1
3 Galtzada FC                             6   2  1  3   13  13   0    7   2–3  3–3   —   2–0
4 Athletic Usaingozoa                     6   0  1  5    4  14 −10    1   1–3  2–2  0–1   — 

P Loreontzia Haize Eklektikoa - Group C Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Sporting Ekletikoa                      6   4  2  0   11   2  +9   14    —   1–1  1–0  0–0
2 FC Marea Istripua                       6   3  2  1   10   8  +2   11   1–4   —   3–1  2–0
3 Puzkerbusia                             6   1  2  3    5  11  −6    5   0–4  2–2   —   1–0
4 Maltzzurra CF                           6   0  2  4    1   6  −5    2   0–1  0–1  1–1   — 

P Loreontzia Haize Eklektikoa - Group D Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 San Marko Balompié                      6   3  2  1   14   8  +6   11    —   2–0  2–2  3–0
2 Otsogorriak                             6   3  1  2    6   6   0   10   1–0   —   1–1  2–1
3 SD Tornadoa                             6   1  3  2    7   9  −2    6   2–4  0–1   —   1–0
4 Odessa Swim                             6   1  2  3    7  11  −4    5   3–3  2–1  1–1   — 

P Ibaiaho Garaikurra - Group A Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 SD Marriubia                   6   5  1  0   20   8 +12   16    —   2–2  5–1  3–2
2 Gardena Gogoa KK               6   4  1  1   11   8  +3   13   2–5   —   3–1  2–0
3 Urrezkohuntza KF               6   1  1  4    7  14  −7    4   0–2  0–1   —   3–3
4 Perrechico AD                  6   0  1  5    6  14  −8    1   1–3  0–1  0–2   — 

P Ibaiaho Garaikurra - Group B Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 BK 74 Zuhaitz                  6   3  2  1   22  10 +12   11    —   5–1  3–3  5–0
2 Inoren AK                      6   3  1  2    9  10  −1   10   2–1   —   2–1  3–1
3 Morroia Xarma KAE              6   2  2  2   10  11  −1    8   2–2  1–0   —   1–3
4 Beltzharan 1949                6   1  1  4    8  18 −10    4   2–6  1–1  1–2   — 

P Ibaiaho Garaikurra - Group C Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 GS Onddoa                      6   4  1  1   11   6  +5   13    —   1–0  2–1  2–0
2 Top de Afaragloto              6   4  0  2   12   6  +6   12   4–3   —   1–0  4–0
3 Osoa Ilunduz IFK               6   3  1  2    8   3  +5   10   0–0  1–0   —   5–0
4 Ilunabarra FK                  6   0  0  6    2  18 −16    0   1–3  1–3  0–1   — 

P  Ibaiaho Garaikurra - Group D Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 SK Jabe                        6   2  2  2   14  13  +1    8    —   2–2  3–1  4–1
2 Aintza HFK                     6   2  2  2   12  12   0    8   4–2   —   2–1  0–1
3 UD Tchinpart                   6   2  2  2    9   9   0    8   1–1  3–1   —   1–0
4 Klubu Redikar                  6   2  2  2   11  12  −1    8   4–2  3–3  2–2   — 

P Pokaali Kenkuijo - Group A Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Chikudate Torstai FC         6   4  1  1    9   9   0   13    —   0–4  0–0  4–3
2 Kunsinänukut RAC             6   3  0  3   11   8  +3    9   0–1   —   4–1  0–3
3 Yhteensä FC                  6   2  1  3    7   7   0    7   0–1  0–1   —   1–0
4 PRO Ilmansyöttö              6   2  0  4   12  15  −3    6   2–3  3–2  1–5   — 

P Pokaali Kenkuijo - Group B Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 RJK Joskus                   6   5  0  1   21  11 +10   15    —   5–2  3–1  4–2
2 JK Höyrynpolku               6   3  0  3   13  15  −2    9   1–2   —   5–3  1–3
3 AC Hiirenansa                6   2  1  3   15  17  −2    7   5–4  2–3   —   3–1
4 Sinfonia KJS                 6   1  1  4    7  13  −6    4   0–3  0–1  1–1   — 

P Pokaali Kenkuijo - Group C Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 fc auringonottaja            6   4  2  0   11   4  +7   14    —   3–2  2–0  1–0
2 MM Disko PJK                 6   4  0  2   15  10  +5   12   0–3   —   1–0  1–0
3 Verenrae PK                  6   2  1  3    6  10  −4    7   0–0  3–6   —   1–0
4 Maansiirtokone               6   0  1  5    4  12  −8    1   2–2  1–5  1–2   — 

P Pokaali Kenkuijo - Group D Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Aina Alla KL                 6   4  0  2   16   9  +7   12    —   2–3  4–1  3–0
2 Tähti Roverit JK             6   3  1  2   14  12  +2   10   5–3   —   2–2  3–1
3 Tyhjyys SJK                  6   2  1  3    8  12  −4    7   0–2  1–0   —   1–0
4 Vainmatala FC                6   2  0  4    8  13  −5    6   0–2  3–1  4–3   — 

P Trofeo Mazespolia - Group A Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 XI Ehizaizkora                6   3  0  3   10   8  +2    9    —   1–2  1–0  2–0
2 Garbi Gauerdia TFC            6   2  3  1   10   9  +1    9   3–2   —   0–0  0–1
3 Kuryakin RC                   6   2  2  2    8   9  −1    8   1–0  2–2   —   3–2
4 Etexaikitzen Sport            6   2  1  3   12  14  −2    7   2–4  3–3  4–2   — 

P Trofeo Mazespolia - Group B Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Lodi CF                       6   4  1  1   12  11  +1   13    —   1–0  2–2  5–3
2 Durutti EPK                   6   3  1  2    9   6  +3   10   4–0   —   2–0  2–1
3 LK Desegitea                  6   1  3  2    6   8  −2    6   1–2  1–1   —   0–0
4 Negueteostatu                 6   1  1  4    9  11  −2    4   1–2  3–0  1–2   — 

P Trofeo Mazespolia - Group C Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Berriaordena GZ               6   5  1  0   12   2 +10   16    —   2–0  2–0  3–1
2 Kometa Kosmikoa               6   3  2  1    7   2  +5   11   0–0   —   3–0  2–0
3 Pozazakeita OeOK              6   1  1  4    6  15  −9    4   0–3  0–2   —   2–1
4 FC Hitzegin-Hitzegin          6   0  2  4    7  13  −6    2   1–2  0–0  4–4   — 

P Trofeo Mazespolia - Group D Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Golden Autumn SC              6   4  1  1   17   6 +11   13    —   2–1  0–0  8–0
2 SD Jainkoaren Eskua           6   4  1  1   16  10  +6   13   3–2   —   1–1  4–3
3 Txarra Banda BK               6   1  2  3    5   9  −4    5   0–1  1–3   —   2–0
4 OFK Horiamagia                6   1  0  5   10  23 −13    3   2–4  1–4  4–1   — 

P Mustamaa GOLD - Group A  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Voitamatton AJK            6   4  2  0   16   6 +10   14    —   3–1  4–0  3–0
2 SC Tiedemessut             6   4  1  1   25  12 +13   13   4–4   —   9–1  3–1
3 Huippu FC                  6   1  2  3    8  20 −12    5   1–1  2–5   —   0–0
4 AFC Viitteet-Viitteet      6   0  1  5    3  14 −11    1   0–1  1–3  1–4   — 

P Mustamaa GOLD - Group B  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 AFK 2019 Riittävä          6   5  0  1   12   3  +9   15    —   1–0  3–0  1–0
2 Kunnianosoitus SJK         6   4  0  2   13   4  +9   12   2–0   —   1–2  4–0
3 UJK Uusitie                6   2  0  4    4  13  −9    6   0–5  1–2   —   0–2
4 AC Puristin                6   1  0  5    3  12  −9    3   1–2  0–4  0–1   — 

P Mustamaa GOLD - Group C  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Iltaavarten JK             6   5  0  1   15   3 +12   15    —   2–1  3–1  5–0
2 Lumipalloja JK             6   5  0  1   10   2  +8   15   1–0   —   4–0  2–0
3 Halderna Sporting          6   1  1  4    6  12  −6    4   0–2  0–1   —   5–2
4 Anteliaslaina FC           6   0  1  5    2  16 −14    1   0–3  0–1  0–0   — 

P Mustamaa GOLD - Group D  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 KY Keskustelu              6   5  0  1    8   4  +4   15    —   0–1  1–0  1–0
2 Huomenta HUY               6   4  0  2   11   8  +3   12   2–3   —   3–0  1–0
3 HK Leipaelaulu             6   3  0  3   12  10  +2    9   1–2  4–1   —   5–3
4 Kaaos AMJK                 6   0  0  6    4  13  −9    0   0–1  1–3  0–2   — 

P Näytteet Homecoming - Group A Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Sähköä Fitness                  6   3  3  0   12   4  +8   12    —   1–1  4–0  1–0
2 MKPSK Tähtipölyä                6   3  2  1   11  11   0   11   2–5   —   4–3  2–1
3 Koslenminä LUY                  6   1  2  3    7  12  −5    5   0–0  0–1   —   2–1
4 Sateenkaari HJK                 6   0  3  3    6   9  −3    3   1–1  1–1  2–2   — 

P Näytteet Homecoming - Group B Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale            6   6  0  0   11   1 +10   18    —   3–1  2–0  2–0
2 Äläitke MJK                     6   4  0  2   11   6  +5   12   0–1   —   2–0  5–2
3 TMJK: Keskiyöllä                6   1  1  4    2   8  −6    4   0–2  0–1   —   2–1
4 Vaeltavat Tähdet FC             6   0  1  5    3  12  −9    1   0–1  0–2  0–0   — 

P Näytteet Homecoming - Group C Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Saadasai Kuoteleman             6   3  3  0    9   3  +6   12    —   2–0  2–0  1–1
2 Arkkienkeli HJK                 6   3  1  2    5   6  −1   10   0–2   —   2–2  1–0
3 Suolahippu                      6   1  3  2    8  10  −2    6   0–0  0–1   —   3–2
4 FC Lopettaa                     6   0  3  3    8  11  −3    3   2–2  0–1  3–3   — 

P Näytteet Homecoming - Group D Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Kyynel PK                       6   5  1  0   12   2 +10   16    —   1–0  5–0  2–0
2 NJK Tiet                        6   3  2  1   10   5  +5   11   0–0   —   1–1  4–1
3 2JK Syväsakki                   6   2  1  3    9  10  −1    7   0–1  1–2   —   4–0
4 Hyväpäivä 04                    6   0  0  6    5  19 −14    0   2–3  1–3  1–3   — 

P Palkinto Perjantaina - Group A Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Haamulanka HJK                   6   4  2  0   21   5 +16   14    —   4–0  5–0  6–1
2 Muoviputset AS                   6   3  1  2   11  12  −1   10   2–4   —   2–1  3–1
3 AC Eiyllätyksiä                  6   2  2  2   10  10   0    8   0–0  2–2   —   3–0
4 Palapeli SJK                     6   0  1  5    5  20 −15    1   2–2  0–2  1–4   — 

P Palkinto Perjantaina - Group B Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 1. Turvatyyny TJK                6   5  1  0   11   1 +10   16    —   0–0  1–0  4–1
2 Sporting Laskuri                 6   2  3  1    7   5  +2    9   0–2   —   1–1  2–0
3 Pettymy PK                       6   1  2  3    7  10  −3    5   0–2  2–4   —   2–0
4 Outoja Kaloja FC                 6   0  2  4    3  12  −9    2   0–2  0–0  2–2   — 

P Palkinto Perjantaina - Group C Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Päiväunelijoita KUY              6   4  1  1   23  11 +12   13    —   1–2  7–2  4–1
2 Rautakeuhko PK                   6   4  1  1   13  10  +3   13   1–1   —   1–3  6–4
3 JK Anima                         6   2  0  4   11  16  −5    6   3–5  0–1   —   3–1
4 Limbossa LJK                     6   1  0  5   10  20 −10    3   2–5  1–2  1–0   — 

P Palkinto Perjantaina - Group D Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 SC Optimistinen                  6   3  1  2    8   5  +3   10    —   2–0  3–0  0–0
2 Venturkissaus SOU                6   2  2  2    3   5  −2    8   1–0   —   1–1  1–0
3 Pyyhekumi FC                     6   1  4  1    8   8   0    7   3–0  0–0   —   2–2
4 Sudenovi Varasrakeet             6   1  3  2    7   8  −1    6   1–3  2–0  2–2   — 

P Seinät Capitalia - Group A Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 The Seers                    6   5  0  1   17   7 +10   15    —   3–2  3–2  6–0
2 Sporting Reflektor           6   2  3  1   15  13  +2    9   3–2   —   3–3  2–2
3 Vihjata Zerbait              6   1  2  3   12  14  −2    5   0–1  3–3   —   3–4
4 Athletic Saniainenikkuna     6   1  1  4    6  16 −10    4   0–2  0–2  0–1   — 

P Seinät Capitalia - Group B Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 US Piiri                     6   3  3  0    7   1  +6   12    —   1–0  2–0  3–0
2 Astraalitaso                 6   3  2  1   11   4  +7   11   1–1   —   4–0  3–0
3 Etujoukon soutuseura         6   1  3  2    7  11  −4    6   0–0  2–2   —   3–1
4 PJK Piiri                    6   0  2  4    3  12  −9    2   0–0  0–1  2–2   — 

P Seinät Capitalia - Group C Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Ilmari FC                    6   5  0  1   11   3  +8   15    —   1–0  2–3  1–0
2 FC Suteakuepa                6   3  1  2    5   2  +3   10   0–1   —   1–0  3–0
3 Revontulia Etheria           6   2  1  3    4   6  −2    7   0–2  0–0   —   1–0
4 Kosmetika RFC                6   1  0  5    1  10  −9    3   0–4  0–1  1–0   — 

P Seinät Capitalia - Group D Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Union Sanka Sumu             6   3  1  2    9   5  +4   10    —   1–0  3–1  0–1
2 Lagunarteko KK               6   2  3  1    6   5  +1    9   1–0   —   1–0  2–2
3 Margrete’s Finest            6   1  3  2    4   6  −2    6   1–1  1–1   —   0–0
4 US Kastepisten               6   1  3  2    5   8  −3    6   1–4  1–1  0–1   — 

P The Arcatan Championship - Group A Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Goudini BC                           6   4  1  1   11   5  +6   13    —   1–0  4–1  3–1
2 Atasca Town                          6   3  1  2    9   8  +1   10   3–2   —   1–0  1–0
3 Mellacarr Oceanic                    6   1  2  3   11  12  −1    5   0–1  4–4   —   4–0
4 Fortune Bay AU                       6   1  2  3    4  10  −6    5   0–0  1–0  2–2   — 

P The Arcatan Championship - Group B Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 1.FC Goudini                         6   5  1  0   16   5 +11   16    —   4–3  5–1  1–0
2 Carola Syndicate                     6   2  2  2    9  10  −1    8   1–1   —   2–2  1–0
3 Rovers of Atasca                     6   1  2  3   10  15  −5    5   0–3  0–1   —   2–2
4 Meadows TSFC                         6   1  1  4    7  12  −5    4   0–2  3–1  2–5   — 

P The Arcatan Championship - Group C Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 Braggsville City                     6   5  1  0   16   5 +11   16    —   3–2  3–0  5–2
2 Braggsville Sarian                   6   3  1  2   12  11  +1   10   0–1   —   1–0  3–3
3 Bishop Cliff FC                      6   2  1  3   10  11  −1    7   0–0  3–4   —   3–1
4 Arcata Union                         6   0  1  5   10  21 −11    1   1–4  1–2  2–4   — 

P The Arcatan Championship - Group D Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts                      
1 United Players of Myrtle             6   5  1  0   12   0 +12   16    —   3–0  1–0  3–0
2 Redwoods Arbora                      6   3  0  3    6  10  −4    9   0–4   —   1–0  2–0
3 Ravenia BSC                          6   2  2  2    7   5  +2    8   0–0  3–2   —   3–0
4 Myrtle Island FC                     6   0  1  5    1  11 −10    1   0–1  0–1  1–1   —

Notable exits in the group stage include both FC Suteakuepa and Astraalitaso from the Seinät Capitalia, meaning the Seinät's representative to the national round will come from outside the top flight.

SC Tiedemessut, from Mustamaa, was also eliminated in the group stage—they had the misfortune of being placed in the same group as Voitamatton AJK. Someone from the top flight was bound to be eliminated, anyways.

KftA Lehoi Hegodun and Tähti Roverit JK find themselves eliminated from Kailja contention as well. That's thanks to the excellent group stage performances from Basozuria SF and Aina Alla KL, respectively. Top de Afaragloto also finished second in their group and are out of the cup.

But most surprising of all: FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale lives to see another day in this competition. Not just that, they're the only club in the country to finish the group stage collecting the maximum amount of points. Eighteen points available, 18 points earned.

Again, for the rest of the class: League form does not translate to Kalaija form.

KALIJA GORTOLEKUA
PROVINCIAL SEMI-FINAL MATCH-UPS
To be played between Matchdays Twenty and Twenty-One
Copa Cerati - Semi-Finals
SFC Hiria v. Garbitzailea BK
Futbola Giza Kolorea v. Oztopoa 1.aFK

Loreontzia Haize Eklektikoa - Semi-Finals
Sporting Ekletikoa v. Basozuria SF
Sinesgarriak CS v. San Marko Balompié

Ibaiaho Garaikurra - Semi-Finals
GS Onddoa v. SD Marriubia
SK Jabe v. BK 74 Zuhaitz

Pokaali Kenkuijo - Semi-Finals
Aina Alla KL v. Chikudate Torstai FC
fc auringonottaja v. RJK Joskus

Trofeo Mazespolia - Semi-Finals
XI Ehizaizkora v. Golden Autumn SC
Lodi CF v. Berriaordena GZ

Mustamaa GOLD - Semi-Finals
Voitamatton AJK v. Iltaavarten JK
KY Keskustelu v. AFK 2019 Riittävä

Näytteet Homecoming - Semi-Finals
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale v. Sähköä Fitness
Kyynel PK v. Saadasai Kuoteleman

Palkinto Perjantaina - Semi-Finals
1. Turvatyyny TJK v. SC Optimistinen
Haamulanka HJK v. Päiväunelijoita KUY

Seinät Capitalia - Semi-Finals
Ilmari FC v. US Piiri
Union Sanka Sumu v. The Seers

The Arcatan Championship - Semi-Finals
United Players of Myrtle v. Braggsville City
1.FC Goudini v. Goudini BC

DIG DEEPER
>VOITAMATTON: Skjeggestad says this is just the beginning. Here's what makes him right.
>TÄHTI ROVERIT: There's always next Kalija: What went wrong, plainly
>IGONOUSTA: MM Disko PJK set to relocate to Sävyuuro, Kenkuijo
>LOWER LEAGUES: PRO Ilmansyöttö disbands following inability to pay players on time

by **Gortolekua** » Sun Jun 12, 2022 11:00 am

Rey's Romp Across the League: Ohorekunnia MDs 19-24 + National Kalija Qualifiers + A new Ohorekunnia team
by Lempi Rey

We inch closer and closer with each Matchday to Crunch Time. We're not there yet, and there's still a lot left to be played where any club can do its thing. The stove gets hotter with each match played. Who will survive it all?

MATCHDAY NINTEEN
Päiväunelijoita KUY 1–3 Tähti Roverit JK
RJK Joskus 1–1 Berriaordena GZ
Top de Afaragloto 3–4 SD Marriubia
1.FC Goudini 2–1 SC Tiedemessut
Voitamatton AJK 2–1 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
fc auringonottaja 1–0 Kyynel PK
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 FC Suteakuepa
Astraalitaso 4–1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale

The match between Voitamatton AJK and KftA Lehoi Hegodun felt like a title-decider, but not in the traditional sense. Both clubs had been hot at certain points throughout the season, yet neither had the chance to be on a consistently hot streak. The Winged Lions were once in the relegation zone, and Voita let an early league lead slip to an eight-point gap.

For them to meet at this point in the league, this match would determine who would join Tähti Roverit JK and 1. Turvatyyny TJK in the title race as a distant contender. Aurinkolasit showed up in full support for Voita, as the 12th Player's cheers and rallies proved beneficial. Two goals in the opening ten minutes: one from Kristijana Jørgensen, the other from Elias Herrera. The Winged Lions looked absolutely shattered by the home crowd's response to every single touch they got on the ball. Darby Innes, the national team's left winger, was able to bring the Klub within one, but it was too little too late.

Following the match, there was a begrudging yet earned show of respect between the two clubs, where both recognized their philosophies maybe weren't too different from each other. They believed in a winner-needs-all approach to football: Do what you must to win, no matter the cost. But do it pretty if you can. But there was still that disdain from the Winged Lions, knowing they got beat at their own game. But KftA realized once again—on their day, mind you—you cannot touch Voitamatton.

In the capital, Astraalitaso sliced Kappale's chances at survival following a 4-1 thrashing that saw a brace from Sigrid Blaxand, who, at 32 years old, shouldn't be having the scoring breeze she's been having in such a league. "But here we are, Lempi," she told me in a sit-down interview. Blaxand scored a hat-trick in the 4-1 victory over Kappale. "It's a challenging league for many reasons, but it seems that any team can have their day in the sun. Except Kappale, for some reason," laughing as she finished her answer.

The win puts Astraalitaso in the driver's seat for fourth place, with 1.FC Goudini not far behind. Drummond Douglas, another national teamer, had seen recent struggles in his domestic form. Today's match will hopefully quell those struggles, as he scored and assisted to bring the Seagulls into the 30 point club. "It's been tough for me, and obviously playing so much recently has not been good for my body," Drummond said post-match. "But it feels good to finally get involved again, just how I like it to be."

MATCHDAY TWENTY
Tähti Roverit JK 1–0 Astraalitaso
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 1–0 1. Turvatyyny TJK
FC Suteakuepa 0–0 fc auringonottaja
Kyynel PK 0–1 Voitamatton AJK
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 6–3 1.FC Goudini
SC Tiedemessut 0–3 Top de Afaragloto
SD Marriubia 2–0 RJK Joskus
Berriaordena GZ 4–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Some Turvatyyny fan emailed that to me once the final whistle blew. I normally don't check my email for reader comments when I'm working on covering matches, but that one stood out to me, and why it stood out to me was perfectly clear. Three wins, near the bottom of the table, and of course one of FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale's few wins has to come against a club that had been their demon for all of last season. Turvatyyny wanted to take control of their destiny, but Kappale made sure twice that it would not happen. And here? They do it again. It's a different take on the same recipe I posted on Matchday Fourteen of Season One: Play your hearts out for 85 minutes until striker Delice Nieminen breaks your heart with a scorcher of a goal. Wait five minutes to cool. Serve cold-heartedly upon completion.

Quincy Poe, the Brook striker playing for Argiapozik-based Berriaordena GZ, had an excellent day at the office compared to his Päiväunelijoita KUY counterparts. His first ever hat trick came against a Harborers squad that will be mission out on Thankful Gibson thanks to an injury picked up during the match. Nothing malicious, thankfully. Just a slip, unfortunately. But doctors have projected her to be out until Matchday Twenty-Five, a six-week wait that includes the Provincial Semi-Finals of the Kalija, which she'll miss. "I will come back stronger so we can finish our season strongly," she chirped out to her fans. "This ain't the end, just a shove. But we always push back out here."

Top four continues to switch hands, as KftA Lehoi Hegodun's 6-3 victory puts them ahead of Astraalitatso on goal differential. It's no surprise the goal differential is helping out, as the Winged Lions are the second-highest scoring team behind 1.FC Goudini—the club they just beat. Two goals from Inkeri Nykvist, and one from Ragnvald Waltersson, Liv Winther, Grahame Brooks, and Louise De la Cruz (with four assists from Ingegärd Heikki) made any Goudini efforts futile, even in spite of a three-assist match from Taylor Browne of Cassadaigua and two goals from young phenom Clement Selby in the second half.

KALIJA GORTOLEKUA - PROVINCIAL SEMI-FINALS
Copa Cerati - Semi-Finals
SFC Hiria 2–0 Garbitzailea BK
Futbola Giza Kolorea 1–0 Oztopoa 1.aFK
Loreontzia Haize Eklektikoa - Semi-Finals
Sporting Ekletikoa 1–2 Basozuria SF
Sinesgarriak CS 5–3 San Marko Balompié
Ibaiaho Garaikurra - Semi-Finals
GS Onddoa 2–5 SD Marriubia
SK Jabe 2–3 BK 74 Zuhaitz
Pokaali Kenkuijo - Semi-Finals
Aina Alla KL 3–0 Chikudate Torstai FC
fc auringonottaja 0–0 RJK Joskus (1–0 AET)
Trofeo Mazespolia - Semi-Finals
XI Ehizaizkora 0–2 Golden Autumn SC
Lodi CF 0–1 Berriaordena GZ
Mustamaa GOLD - Semi-Finals
Voitamatton AJK 0–0 Iltaavarten JK (0–0 AET) (7–8 pen.)
KY Keskustelu 0–1 AFK 2019 Riittävä
Näytteet Homecoming - Semi-Finals
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 5–2 Sähköä Fitness
Kyynel PK 3–0 Saadasai Kuoteleman
Palkinto Perjantaina - Semi-Finals
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 SC Optimistinen
Haamulanka HJK 0–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Seinät Capitalia - Semi-Finals
Ilmari FC 4–0 US Piiri
Union Sanka Sumu 0–4 The Seers
The Arcatan Championship - Semi-Finals
United Players of Myrtle 1–4 Braggsville City
1.FC Goudini 2–1 Goudini BC

We have a major cup upset where third division Iltaavarten JK was able to knock out Voitamatton on penalty kicks. Myry Vivar, set to take the deciding kick, had his show fly over the crossbar. A disappointing end to a cup run that should have been a lengthy run ends here. Mustamaa will now be represented by a club from outside the top flight. The winners of these matches will face off in the provincial final to determine who will go to the National Round.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-ONE
Berriaordena GZ 3–2 Tähti Roverit JK
Päiväunelijoita KUY 0–1 SD Marriubia
RJK Joskus 3–1 SC Tiedemessut
Top de Afaragloto 2–1 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
1.FC Goudini 1–2 Kyynel PK
Voitamatton AJK 1–0 FC Suteakuepa
fc auringonottaja 1–3 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
1. Turvatyyny TJK 0–1 Astraalitaso

...Another win for Kappale? Back-to-back winners? Three straight wins if you count the Kalija match? And they got a comfortable win at that?

Is this last season? Is the nightmare over?

No, for two reasons: FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale is still in the drop zone at 14th place, and there was no Kalija competition last season. Good try though, Kappale fans!

But credit where credit is due: They took on an auringonottaja club that had proven itself to play with midtable quality throughout the season and were able to silence Greggers Breiner, who did not score in the match. You know who did, by the grace of God, somehow? Rosalía Bengoetxea, named on the starting XI for the first time since being benched Matchday Fourteen. "We needed someone who could provide us that quality when it matters. Furthermore, I think Rosí knows why her behavior snowballed to this point," caretaker Georgene Vidal said post-match. "We're happy to have her back, but we're gonna need her to pull her weight."

To think this just scratches the surface as to our crazy results and news this Matchday. What else did we have?

The league leaders dropping three points to a lower-half club because a centre-back ("Rebel Yell" Azusa Manami) pretended to be striker for a day (a hat trick from Hokum Karjalainen's three corner kicks. Which I swear I'll never see again).
The second-placed team, known for choking whenever they have the chance to seize a moment, choking when they had the chance to seize a moment. Anni Wang will not be welcome in Tietokone for a long time.
The winner of above match joining the title race, just six points behind first.
Voitamatton winning their match, making the gap between first and third just two points.

Nothing has felt closer, at this point in this season. And the crazy part is that we have the top two teams in the league facing off If you don't like that, you don't like Gortoleki football.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-TWO
Tähti Roverit JK 0–0 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Astraalitaso 2–3 fc auringonottaja
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 0–1 Voitamatton AJK
FC Suteakuepa 0–1 1.FC Goudini
Kyynel PK 2–0 Top de Afaragloto
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 4–2 RJK Joskus
SC Tiedemessut 2–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY
SD Marriubia 7–3 Berriaordena GZ

Forget a hat trick, we had a haul in the SD Marriubia-Berriaordena GZ match. And it wasn't from Slade Leigh, the striker who happened to take a day off for personal reasons—which there's nothing wrong with, mind you. Take a personal day off work, it's all good. Instead, four goals came from 21-year-old substitute striker Nooa Mitchell, who brought havoc to Berriaordena's backline and goalkeeper Elba Tjäder. Also scoring in the match were César Irvin with a brace and Evangelina Patterson with a lone goal to cap it off. Assists came from five different players: Fumio Tagawa (with two), Monica Banner, Emma Wang, Grier Fishman and Keely Martikainen (with two). All in all, it was a bad day at the office for Tjäder.

"Shit happens," she chirped out to her Chirper followers. "Take over my job for a day and see how you do." She then went on a mini rant about Chirper not supporting emoji for whatever reason, and promoted twii.tur as a better alternative.

That result certainly made up for lackluster first-versus-second matchup this Matchday. You look at the Tähti Roverit JK-1. Turvatyyny TJK scoreline, think to yourself "Oh, what a boring match given the pre-match circumstances," and you're right. It was absolutely boring. But the masochistic football fan could derive pleasure from watching how Turvatyyny began faltering as the minutes went by. From a confident, positive style of play to a worrisome, risk-averse philosophy because the fears they had were becoming reality: They're getting a reputation for being bottlers. So much so that by the end of Matchday Twenty-Two, it was no longer first-versus-second. It was first-versus-third.

Voitamatton AJK, who were eight points behind Tähti Roverit JK and 1. Turvatyyny TJK on Matchday Fifteen, have leaped over the latter and leveled with the former. It wasn't a pretty win, but it never needs to be beautiful. Especially if it's against opposition like FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale that has entered survival mode; those wins are always extremely gruesome. What is beautiful is three points following a match. And boy do they have it. When Egbjörn Skjeggestad told fans "We're coming," he meant it: six wins and a draw in their last seven to make up for the lost time.

They're not playing like a promoted team. They're playing like wannabe champions. And who knows how close they'll get. If you're a betting person, it wouldn't hurt to put a couple of sporze on them. No harm in paying just a few bucks.

KALIJA GORTOLEKUA - PROVINCIAL FINALS
Copa Cerati - Final
Futbola Giza Kolorea 0–1 SFC Hiria (2-5)
Loreontzia Haize Eklektikoa - Final
Basozuria SF 3–4 Sinesgarriak CS (3-4)
Ibaiaho Garaikurra - Final
(1-6) SD Marriubia 4–1 BK 74 Zuhaitz
Pokaali Kenkuijo - Final
Aina Alla KL 2–3 fc auringonottaja (1-8)
Trofeo Mazespolia - Final
(1-12) Berriaordena GZ 1–1 Golden Autumn SC (2–1 AET)
Mustamaa GOLD - Finals
AFK 2019 Riittävä 0–0 Iltaavarten JK (3-15) (0–2 AET)
Näytteet Homecoming - Final
(1-14) FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 1–0 Kyynel PK
Palkinto Perjantaina - Final
Päiväunelijoita KUY 1–5 1. Turvatyyny TJK (1-3)
Seinät Capitalia - Final
(3-16) The Seers 3–3 Ilmari FC (3–3 AET) (4–3 pen.)
The Arcatan Championship - Final
Braggsville City 3–5 1.FC Goudini (1-7)

From here on out, the winners of each provincial final are seeded based on their current league performance. The top six performing teams will get a bye into the National Quarter-Finals. The bottom four teams, as determined by league performance, are seeded in a National Play-In Round to determine our undetermined quarter-finalists.

KALIJA GORTOLEKUA NATIONAL MATCH-UPS
National Play-In Round
To be played between Matchday Twenty-Four and Twenty-Five
(2.5-Cerati) SFC Hiria v. The Seers (3.16-Seinät Capital City)
(3.4-Haize Eklektikoa) Sinesgarriak CS v. Iltavaarten JK (3.15-Mustamaa)

National Quarter-Finals
To be played between Matchday Twenty-Six and Twenty-Seven
(1.3-Perjantaina) 1. Turvatyyny TJK v. Sinesgarriak CS/Iltavaarten JK
(1.6-Ibaiaho) SD Marriubia v. SFC Hiria/The Seers
(1.7-The Arcatas) 1.FC Goudini v. FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale (1.14-Näytteet)
(1.8-Kenkuijo) fc auringonottaja v. Berriaordena GZ (1.12-Mazespolia)

MATCHDAY TWENTY-THREE
SD Marriubia 2–2 Tähti Roverit JK
Berriaordena GZ 0–0 SC Tiedemessut
Päiväunelijoita KUY 0–1 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
RJK Joskus 1–2 Kyynel PK
Top de Afaragloto 0–1 FC Suteakuepa
1.FC Goudini 5–3 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Voitamatton AJK 5–2 Astraalitaso
fc auringonottaja 1–0 1. Turvatyyny TJK

And now Voita have taken the lead for themselves, following a 5-2 domination over Astraalitaso. Skjeggestad promised his fans—and warned the opposition—that they were coming for that spot, and now they're here. If anything, the return of Voitamatton to this country's upper echelons was a long time coming, but nobody (certainly not yours truly) expected their return to be accelerated. A provincial giant in Mustamaa, projected to be dormant, has awaken nationally. Voitamatton AJK is the real deal.

The downfall of 1. Turvatyyny TJK continues as scheduled with another Greggers Breiner classic-but-not-really-classic goal in the 75th minute to give his fc auringonottaja the 1-0 victory to keep the in the top half of the table, six points clear of ninth. It's a certainty that Breiner's form is going to attract multiverses names of all sorts, and he should have a national team call-up in his future soon.

FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale, meanwhile, continue to suffer from not turning up when it matters the most. A 5-3 loss places added pressure onto the squad, but we're seeing more of a fight in these games than we had in prior Kappale matches all season. Georges Vidal recognizes that change, and acknowledges there's a cultural shift since he took over as club gaffer.

"There's a fight being put up for once by all our players," caretaker Vidal said. "We realize that we're in, frankly, some deep shit. Imagine having to live as the champion that got relegated the following season. None of our players want that, I don't want that, and our fans especially don't want that. So we're going to make sure that we stay afloat at all costs."

MATCHDAY TWENTY-FOUR
Tähti Roverit JK 4–2 fc auringonottaja
1. Turvatyyny TJK 0–2 Voitamatton AJK
Astraalitaso 0–1 1.FC Goudini
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 4–2 Top de Afaragloto
FC Suteakuepa 2–1 RJK Joskus
Kyynel PK 1–0 Päiväunelijoita KUY
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 3–0 Berriaordena GZ
SC Tiedemessut 2–3 SD Marriubia

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. A 4-2 win over Afaragloto shouldn't feel like cause to celebrate—after all, they were my projected relegation candidates—but you'll take anything you can get when you yourself are in the relegation zone and nothing has gone your way all season. The classic "we move on," social media post gets made, but in this case: What else can you do? You have to win and move on when you're in this situation.

In good news for 1.FC Goudini fans: the winning continues. But at what cost will it come to keep winning when Drummond Douglas' knee gets injured following a goal-line clearance from him? There's respect that gets bought from him, a stalwart attacker keeping a goal out, but at what point do you have to stay stop? Clement Selby, at 17 years, has to become the talisman of an attack alongside Pia Iturburua, who scored the match-winner against Astraalitaso.

Päiväunelijoita KUY, meanwhile, could really use Thankful Gibson right now. Yes, they got a point. Out of 15 available, including the match she got injured in, the Harborers got one point. Most of their attack looked dried up, and with the defensive liabilities that exist in their backline, it makes sense that poor performances all around have followed since. Nothing else can be depicted

Voita is out to prove their naysayers wrong, winning in a 2-0 match that should have not been the greatest of circumstances. But they're guaranteeing themselves a 15-win season with this one. A guaranteed 50 percent win-rate is no laughing matter, especially for a club that was recently promoted into the league. But when you're Voitamatton AJK, this is the standard your club should be playing at.

.P Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Voitamatton AJK            24   15   3   6    45   32  +13    48
 2 Tähti Roverit JK           24   13   7   4    47   31  +16    46
 3 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         24   12   5   7    61   40  +21    41
 4 1. Turvatyyny TJK          24   13   2   9    31   24   +7    41
 5 1.FC Goudini               24   12   3   9    52   51   +1    39
 6 SD Marriubia               24   10   8   6    47   39   +8    38
 7 Astraalitaso               24   11   2  11    30   29   +1    35
 8 fc auringonottaja          24   10   5   9    32   38   −6    35
 9 Kyynel PK                  24    9   5  10    17   22   −5    32
10 Top de Afaragloto          24    8   5  11    32   36   −4    29
11 Berriaordena GZ            24    8   5  11    38   44   −6    29
12 RJK Joskus                 24    8   5  11    38   45   −7    29
13 Päiväunelijoita KUY        24    8   5  11    37   45   −8    29
14 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       24    5  10   9    32   41   −9    25
15 FC Suteakuepa              24    6   5  13    16   22   −6    23
16 SC Tiedemessut             24    4   5  15    26   42  −16    17

Six matches left to play, I think this table speaks for itself. The one good thing for Kappale now is that they're four points from safety, and with four clubs all on 29 points, there's no doubt one of those clubs should slip. The question is now whether Kappale can climb out of that hole, or will their form continue into the final six Matchdays. The big question now is which club will drop points and potentially enter a fight for relegation; Päiväunelijoita KUY lacks their lethal striker up front, RJK Joskus has been eternally down in the lower half, Berriaordena GZ is too inconsistent and could continue dropping points, and Top de Afaragloto has yet to meet their return to the mean. At the top of the table, Voitamatton has a two-point lead over Tähti Roverit JK, but it's 1. Turvatyyny TJK who should be worried: They only got four points across the last six matches after finishing Matchday Eighteen in first place. Not a good look for them.

.P Igonousta                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Aina Alla KL               24   17   4   3    52   20  +32    55 - Promoted to Ohorekunnia for Season III
 2 Sähköä Fitness             24   11   7   6    27   22   +5    40
 3 Äläitke MJK                24   10   9   5    42   32  +10    39
 4 Golden Autumn SC           24   10   6   8    27   28   −1    36
 5 Ilmari FC                  24   11   2  11    42   41   +1    35
 6 Basozuria SF               24    8  10   6    50   42   +8    34
 7 MM Disko PJK               24    9   7   8    30   32   −2    34
 8 SFC Hiria                  24    8   8   8    18   17   +1    32
 9 Lumipalloja JK             24    9   4  11    25   22   +3    31
10 Futbola Giza Kolorea       24    8   7   9    30   28   +2    31
11 Sporting Laskuri           24    8   5  11    26   38  −12    29
12 Sporting Ekletikoa         24    7   6  11    29   35   −6    27
13 US Piiri                   24    8   3  13    38   47   −9    27
14 Kunnianosoitus SJK         24    6   9   9    24   34  −10    27
15 Osoa Ilunduz IFK           24    7   5  12    30   41  −11    26
16 Haize Bolada               24    5   8  11    27   38  −11    23

Aina Alla KL, in their dominant run of the Igonousta following an excellent showing in the Kalija Gortolekua, have received automatic promotion to the Ohorekunnia next season. Nineteen points clear of fourth place, they can finish no lower than third. The gaps for second and third continue to grow, with Näytteet clubs Sähköä Fitness and Äläitke MJK in the drivers' seat for the second and third promotion spots, respectively. Both clubs are at least three points clear of fourth, giving them some breathing room as we enter the final six Matchdays.

.P Hasisukas                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Braggsville City           24   14   4   6    51   30  +21    46
 2 Paperezko Begiak CF        24   14   4   6    50   36  +14    46
 3 GS Onddoa                  24   13   4   7    53   40  +13    43
 4 Sinesgarriak CS            24   11   8   5    46   36  +10    41
 5 Gardena Gogoa KK           24   10   9   5    46   40   +6    39
 6 Galtzada FC                24   10   8   6    41   34   +7    38
 7 Gaitzikikusi 90’           24    9   7   8    31   29   +2    34
 8 United Players of Myrtle   24    9   7   8    45   44   +1    34
 9 2JK Syväsakki              24    9   6   9    44   42   +2    33
10 NJK Tiet                   24    8   8   8    49   50   −1    32
11 Haamulanka HJK             24    7   8   9    38   41   −3    29
12 AFK 2019 Riittävä          24    5  12   7    29   29    0    27
13 Kometa Kosmikoa            24    7   4  13    31   45  −14    25
14 Braggsville Sarian         24    6   6  12    38   48  −10    24
15 Iltaavarten JK             24    3   8  13    34   53  −19    17
16 The Seers                  24    3   5  16    17   46  −29    14

It is a much closer race for promotion in the third division Hasisukas, and a much closer title race between Braggsville City and Paperezko Begiak CF. Both level on 46 points, but GS Onddoa still have a horse left in this race. Meanwhile, despite a National Round qualification for the Seers, they're dead last in the league and 11 points clear of relegation. Anything short of a miracle is needed for the Psychic Footballers to stay afloat in the third division.

DIG DEEPER
>TURVATYYNY: Nothing can prepare you for a collapse like being a Turvatyyny fan
>TÄHTI ROVERIT: The Scrivener-Saarinen duo needs to pick up if they want to win
>KAPPALE: Is this the end of the dark days? Almost, but not yet
>COMBAT SPORTS: Gortoleki fighters set to enter Smut Island MMA festival

by **Gortolekua** » Sun Jun 12, 2022 6:08 pm

Rey's Romp Across the League: Winners decided across the nation for Ohorekunnia, Kalija, lower leagues
by Lempi Rey
This is the end of it all. Six matchdays left to play across the nation, plus 10 teams left in the Kalija Gortolekua. We're going to be determining champions all around. This is going to be the most exciting weeks of football this country has to offer. Let's enjoy the ride, because there's going to be a fun, fantastic slate of football in these next weeks.

Kalija Gortolekua
National Play-In
SFC Hiria 1-1 The Seers (1-1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Sinesgarriak CS 3-1 Iltaavarten JK

We begin our coverage of the Ohorekunnia's final six matchdays with Kalija Gortolekua because why not? And it is important anyways to cover what goes on in the Kalija, as second-division SFC Hiria and third division Sinesgarriak CS join the six remaining Ohorekunnia clubs in the National Quarter-Final round.

Kalija Gortolekua - National Quarter-Finals
To be played between Matchdays Twenty-Six and Twenty-Seven
(1) 1. Turvatyyny TJK v. Sinesgarriak CS (3)
(1) SD Marriubia v. SFC Hiria (2)
(1) 1.FC Goudini v. FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale (1)
(1) fc auringonottaja v. Berriaordena GZ (1)

MATCHDAY TWENTY-FIVE
SC Tiedemessut 0–0 Tähti Roverit JK
SD Marriubia 3–2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
Berriaordena GZ 2–0 Kyynel PK
Päiväunelijoita KUY 1–0 FC Suteakuepa
RJK Joskus 0–1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Top de Afaragloto 2–2 Astraalitaso
1.FC Goudini 2–1 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Voitamatton AJK 2–0 fc auringonottaja

A rare draw from SC Tiedemessut leaves Voitamatton AJK to take advantage and create a four point gap with five matches to play agains Tähti Roverit JK. And create a wider gap they did following a 2-0 victory at home against fc auringonottaja. This may be the start of some magical dynasty for Voita, who are reminded by manager Esbjörn Skjeggestad to remain calm under the mounting pressure.

"This title seems close to us, but believe me in that I know what it's like to miss out on a title like that," Skjeggestad said, snapping his fingers mid-quote. "It's why we were unjustly uninvited to the inaugural Ohorekunnia and I left initially. I did what I had to do, and I don't want our players to feel the pain I felt."

Whether or not Skjeggestad and his players will feel that pain again is dependent on next Matchday, when Tähti Roverit take on Voitamatton in a match filled with title implications. While a win for Tähti Roverit won't change the positions, it can change momentum. And momentum is everything.

With their 2-1 victory over 1. Turvatyyny TJK, 1.FC Goudini has cemented themselves in the IFCF race into third, with Pia Iturburua's brace sending the Airbags down into sixth place for the time being, below SD Marriubia who came out as 3-2 victors over KftA Lehoi Hegodun. While the Winged Lions have a substantial goal differential advantage over the Rubies and the Airbags, all three clubs are on 41 points. Any slip-up from those three clubs means an opportunity to pounce and take over a spot.

And just in the nick of time: forward Thankful Gibson returned to action following her injury on Matchday Twenty to score a beautiful chip-in that ended Päivaunelijoita KUY's winless skid. The goal, which came against FC Suteakuepa—who are firmly in the relegation zone themselves—prevented the Harborers from sliding further down than they needed to.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-SIX
Tähti Roverit JK 2–0 Voitamatton AJK
fc auringonottaja 2–2 1.FC Goudini
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–0 Top de Afaragloto
Astraalitaso 3–0 RJK Joskus
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 0–1 Päiväunelijoita KUY
FC Suteakuepa 3–1 Berriaordena GZ
Kyynel PK 1–0 SD Marriubia
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 5–4 SC Tiedemessut

The Star Rovers did it. They were able to bring title race within one. It's not taking the lead in the league, of course, but when you can get a win like this against the top team in the country, you know you're going to carry that momentum into the final four matches of the season. Wins like these are just as important in the grander scheme of it because of momentum implications.

Who else needed that momentum more than Julio Saarinen and Kauko Scrivener? The duo, who had not had the same chemistry they did on the pitch this season compared to last, were able to find that click right when it mattered. And both contributed massively to keeping a clean sheet against Voitamatton AJK. Plus, each of them scoring a goal and contributing an assist to each other. Who says football can't be romantic?

Scratch that if you're Kappale.

Thankful Gibson, making up for lost time, is tormenting FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale following a thunder-strike of a goal from 25 yards out that María Vanhanen had to watch fly by. She did it before, she'll probably do it again next season. "Just not against them if they're playing in the Igonousta," she joked with reporters following the match.

A win from 1. Turvatyyny TJK and KftA Lehoi Hegodun places them both on 44 points in the race for third and fourth place. Outside of FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale, SC Tiedemessut are close to being the first club relegated from the Ohorekunnia this season, unless they can win their remaining four matches and other results go their way as well.

Kalija Gortolekua
National Quarter-Finals
1. Turvatyyny TJK 4-0 Sinesgarriak CS
SD Marriubia 1-1 SFC Hiria (1–1 AET) (2–3 pen.)
1.FC Goudini 1-1 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale (1–1 AET) (1–4 pen.)
fc auringonottaja 0-0 Berriaordena GZ (0–0 AET) (3–4 pen.)

The Kalija dream runs for SFC Hiria and Berriaordena GZ (both genuine) and FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale (derogatory) continue on a stunning series of penalty kicks to determine National Semi-Finalists. Then there's 1. Turvatyyny TJK comfortably walking over the competition with a 4-0 victory. They are set to face SFC Hiria, while Kappale and Berriaordena GZ are the other Semi-Final matchup that will determine our two Grand Finalists.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-SEVEN
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 2–0 Tähti Roverit JK
SC Tiedemessut 3–1 Kyynel PK
SD Marriubia 1–3 FC Suteakuepa
Berriaordena GZ 1–0 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
Päiväunelijoita KUY 2–2 Astraalitaso
RJK Joskus 3–1 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Top de Afaragloto 1–2 fc auringonottaja
1.FC Goudini 2–2 Voitamatton AJK

Don't you love it whenever, following a massive victory that could help you turn the tide of your team as they push on for a championship, a club flounders the golden opportunity given to them?

That club is Tähti Roverit Jalkapalloklubi, TRJK for short, and their 2-0 loss following a 2-0 victory over their title contenders, Voitamatton AJK, just about sums up how most any team who wants to be champion comes to a point where they forget what they're up against and what's at stake. There was a golden door in Voitamatton dropping points to 1.FC Goudini, and the Star Rovers couldn't find that chance to be golden and capitalize on it.

Instead, Voitamatton somehow managed to gain a lead in the title race, but also have to deal with a KftA Lehoi Hegodun club deciding that now is the time to enter the race, where they sit just five points behind and face off against three clubs in the Ohorekunnia's bottom half: Kyynel PK, FC Suteakuepa, and FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale. If you're a Klub fan, tell me this isn't the most mouth-watering fixture list to end your season. If you're a neutral to all this, tell me you like chaos in your football league without telling me you like chaos in your football league. Because this league might just be wide open now.

Down the table, SC Tiedemssut's top-flight dreams are still alive following a 3-1 victory over Kyynel PK, but the former might be living on borrowed time in the top flight at least. And Kappale's woes continue as a 1-0 loss to Berriaordena GZ makes their chances of surviving the season just a bit tougher.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-EIGHT
Tähti Roverit JK 1–1 1.FC Goudini
Voitamatton AJK 3–0 Top de Afaragloto
fc auringonottaja 2–1 RJK Joskus
1. Turvatyyny TJK 4–0 Päiväunelijoita KUY
Astraalitaso 3–0 Berriaordena GZ
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 2–1 SD Marriubia
FC Suteakuepa 1–3 SC Tiedemessut
Kyynel PK 2–2 KftA Lehoi Hegodun

Another draw for Tähti Roverit JK means they need damn short of divine intervention to win the league. Four points behind Voitamatton AJK with two matches to go. There's two to tango in this scenario—Voita needs to drop points if the Star Rovers want a chance of winning the league.

"I'm telling the team to give it all we got, but know that our all might not be good enough. It's not in our hands, at this point," Tähti Roverit striker Judith Berge told the press following the Goudini draw. "We had our chances to survive and thrive, and we blew them. We'll still give it 110 percent, but it won't matter if they give 111 percent."

Voitamatton certainly don't plan on doing that.

"An invincible never looks back. Only ahead," Voita manager Skjeggestad said ahead of Matchday Twenty-Nine. "We have the chance to etch ourselves into eternal glory. Of course we want it badly. But footballing piety comes first. We treat our game with the reverence it deserves, and it will return us that favor."

For the first time in who knows how long, FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale are out of the relegation zone. Their 2-1 victory over SD Marribuia keeps them one point ahead of Top de Afaragloto, who have acquired nine points in the 14 previous Matchdays, from when they were in fourth on Matchday Fourteen. The 31 points belonging Kappale mean that, mathematically, SC Tiedemessut has become the Ohorekunnia's first confirmed relegated club.

It's never a joy to see your club drop down, especially following an excellent slew of performances that inspired hope. They showed spunk when it mattered, but unfortunately it was too little too late. There's the hope the Igonousta will be kind to SC Tiedemessut and, who knows, we'll see them back in a season's time. There are some talented young players on that squad who need time to mature, but it was too early for their day in the sun. Back to the lab, appropriately.

Kalija Gortolekua
National Semi-Finals
Berriaordena GZ 3-2 SFC Hiria
1. Turvatyyny TJK 0-0 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale (1-0 AET)

The Grand Finale is set: Berriaordena GZ beat second division SFC Hiria 3-2 on a wonderstrike from Quincy Poe in the 83rd minute to send them to the final, bringing the dream cup run to a final conclusion. The one thing in their way is 1. Turvatyyny TJK, who need something positive following a title-chasing collapse during the season's final 12 Matchdays.

MATCHDAY TWENTY-NINE
Kyynel PK 0–1 Tähti Roverit JK
KftA Lehoi Hegodun 5–4 FC Suteakuepa
SC Tiedemessut 4–2 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale
SD Marriubia 2–1 Astraalitaso
Berriaordena GZ 1–0 1. Turvatyyny TJK
Päiväunelijoita KUY 4–3 fc auringonottaja
RJK Joskus 4–4 Voitamatton AJK
Top de Afaragloto 1–4 1.FC Goudini

At the Laboratoriopuisto, named aptly for Tiedemessut's science and pharmaceutical background, SC Tiedemessut's fans unveiled their first tifo of the season when FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale came to town: a massive portrait of Rosalía Bengoetxea's face, crossed out with a massive X. It wasn't because there was any blood lost between the two. Relegation was bound to be a certainty for the Scientists, but there was a hot streak within them over the last few matches that had shown what a winning Tiedemessut club could look like. And maybe it was here that, against the club that took their supposed Chosen One in Rosalía Bengoetxea and the club that confirmed their relegation, they could show the country's best.

When full-time came, it sure as hell felt like a title-clincher for SC Tiedemessut. Domination for the first time this season. And oh, what a way to showcase your domination. FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale was still alive and able to shake off this season, just like Astraalitaso did last season with their relegation scare. But the SC Tiedemessut fans didn't want their players to think that at all.

"You're coming down with us," their fans chanted right as the referee blew the final whistle. "You're coming down with us."

It sure feels like it. It sure feels like it.

Tähti Roverit JK were given a lifeline heading in to the final Matchday of the season when Voitamatton AJK drew 4-4 against RJK Joskus, the club with two Brody Stantons not related to each other. Both contributed two goals and assists each other, as if it wasn't confusing enough. But both were able to help a provincial rival, as unfortunate as it may be to do, against a club the country is waking up to and fully realizing the dangers of. Gortolekua is slowly realizing that when Voita lose, the nation wins.

In a preview of the Kalija Gortolekua final, Berriaordena GZ were able to stick a wrench in 1. Turvatyyny TJK's plans for making it to IFCF football with a 1-0 victory. It's a great win for Berriaordena GZ, but young Quincy Poe, goalscorer in this match, his hoping for more.

"I know that there is nothing more that I want than winning a cup. We did it once here, we can it do it again in just over a week's time," Poe told the home crowd following their lap of honor. "We're gonna make you proud of us and give you something to celebrate."

.P Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Voitamatton AJK            29   17   5   7    56   40  +16    56
 2 Tähti Roverit JK           29   15   9   5    51   34  +17    54
 3 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         29   15   6   8    77   53  +24    51
 4 1.FC Goudini               29   14   6   9    63   58   +5    48
 5 1. Turvatyyny TJK          29   15   2  12    38   30   +8    47
 6 SD Marriubia               29   12   8   9    54   48   +6    44
 7 Astraalitaso               29   13   4  12    41   35   +6    43
 8 fc auringonottaja          29   12   6  11    41   48   −7    42
 9 Päiväunelijoita KUY        29   11   6  12    45   54   −9    39
10 Berriaordena GZ            29   11   5  13    43   50   −7    38
11 Kyynel PK                  29   10   6  13    21   30   −9    36
12 RJK Joskus                 29    9   6  14    46   56  −10    33
13 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       29    7  10  12    37   48  −11    31
14 Top de Afaragloto          29    8   6  15    36   48  −12    30
15 FC Suteakuepa              29    8   5  16    27   33   −6    29
16 SC Tiedemessut             29    7   6  16    40   51  −11    27

MATCHDAY THIRTY
Tähti Roverit JK v. Top de Afaragloto
1.FC Goudini v. RJK Joskus
Voitamatton AJK v. Päiväunelijoita KUY
fc auringonottaja v. Berriaordena GZ
1. Turvatyyny TJK v. SD Marriubia
Astraalitaso v. SC Tiedemessut
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale v. KftA Lehoi Hegodun
FC Suteakuepa v. Kyynel PK

Hell in Gortolekua is more commonly known as Matchday Thirty. Welcome to it.

Eight top-flight matches kicking off at the same time; some are to determine a mere place on the table, others are to determine a coveted place in the league and a select few are to determine a revered place among this nation's football clubs. 3 p.m. on a cool Saturday day in spring hits and whistles across the nation ring, some a few seconds early and others a closer to 3:01 p.m. than the top of the hour. Either way, an entire country fixates itself of various groups of 11 footballers who face canonization or damnation.

It's an early start for 1.FC Goudini, opening the afternoon's scoring thanks to who else but Drummond Douglas. Finally returning from a bothersome knee injury that kept him out since Matchday Twenty-Four, his lone goal in the 12th minute is enough—for now—to ward off a Turvatyyny threat on this final Matchday. Might it be a reversal of events compared to last season's end?

Top de Afaragloto is giving Tähti Roverit JK a living nightmare at home. When you have a team trying to stay afloat versus a team trying to win it all, you know there's going to be double the glory in getting the result needed to avoid relegation. And following 20 minutes of play, it's going as well as it can for now. Tähti Roverit's Nico Hanson thought he found himself beating Afaragloto's Elisabet Frisker to get in good position, but the assistant referee flags him offside before Hanson could get a shot off. Afaragloto away supporters are pulling for their club to pull off a miracle of winning by two and their club is doing half their part of that equation.

Voitamatton may as well live up to its name: invincible. They're handling a Päiväunelijoita squad like clockwork so far. Veronika Mac Cailein, the winger with who prefers assists over goals, might be okay with the goal she scored in Matchday Thirty. Cutting inside, shooting with her weak foot, curling that ball past Earl Lyon for a 1-0 lead going into minute 33. Voitamatton supporters, who had long been hesitant to break out their signature chant, find it safe to let it all out now: "YOU CANNOT FUCKING TOUCH US." And to think most of the country thought Lehoi Hegodun was unbearable.

It won't be too unbearable of a day for the country, though, seeing as KftA is losing to a Kappale club that nobody, not even me, expected to see following one of the weirdest football seasons out there. We all thought this would be a title-decider. Not 1-2-3-4-5 being a dumpster fire of a club and needing to hold off everything they can and survive everything to not get relegated. But here they are, each player fighting off relegation with the last fiber of their body. And it's working so far. This is the Kappale everyone expected to see this year: domination across all fronts. Rosalía Bengoetxea's 39th minute goal finally showcasing the deserved result of excellent play. Maybe she's finally making her bed after laying in it, or however the saying goes.

Meanwhile, 1. Turvatyyny TJK needs a little help from some friends in RJK Joskus on top of doing their part in securing a win against SD Marriubia. While the Airbags got out to an early lead thanks to a Palmer Jacobson goal, SD Marriubia levels off a back heel goal from Keeley Martikainen in the 43rd minute. It's the most recent action we've got, and it's the last goal before the whistle blows across the country.

Forty-five down, 45 to play. Here are the results and table as it stands.

MATCHDAY THIRTY: AT THE HALF
Tähti Roverit JK 0–0 Top de Afaragloto
1.FC Goudini 1–0 RJK Joskus
Voitamatton AJK 1–0 Päiväunelijoita KUY
fc auringonottaja 0–0 Berriaordena GZ
1. Turvatyyny TJK 1–1 SD Marriubia
Astraalitaso 0–0 SC Tiedemessut
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 1–0 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
FC Suteakuepa 0–0 Kyynel PK

MATCHDAY THIRTY TABLE: AT THE HALF
.P Ohorekunnia           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Voitamatton AJK        30   18   5   7    57   40  +17    59
 2 Tähti Roverit JK       30   15  10   5    51   34  +17    55
 3 KftA Lehoi Hegodun     30   15   6   9    77   54  +23    51
 4 1.FC Goudini           30   15   6   9    64   58   +6    51
 5 1. Turvatyyny TJK      30   15   3  12    39   31   +8    48
 6 SD Marriubia           30   12   9   9    55   49   +6    45
 7 Astraalitaso           30   13   5  12    41   35   +6    44
 8 fc auringonottaja      30   12   7  11    41   48   −7    43
 9 Berriaordena GZ        30   11   6  13    43   50   −7    39
10 Päiväunelijoita KUY    30   11   6  13    45   55  −10    39
11 Kyynel PK              30   10   7  13    21   30   −9    37
12 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale   30    8  10  12    38   48  −10    34
13 RJK Joskus             30    9   6  15    46   57  −11    33
14 Top de Afaragloto      30    8   7  15    36   48  −12    31
15 FC Suteakuepa          30    8   6  16    27   33   −6    30
16 SC Tiedemessut         30    7   7  16    40   51  −11    28

Voitamatton just needs to win it out. Win this match against a shaky team and you win the whole league. You draw, or God forbid lose, then things can get a little shaky.

The whistle blows for the second half to officially commence, and we're seeing some magic take place in Tietokone. A goal from Kendal Browne in the 59th minute, subbed on to launch a three-forward attack for Turvatyyny, broke the tie and made it 2-1 on the afternoon.

Heading slightly east to Aurinkolasit, Päiväunelijoita KUY evened the scoreline thanks to another goal from Thankful Gibson, coming in clutch once again in the 64th minute. The scoreline out there is now 1-1, but as it stands, Voitamatton will still win the league on 57 points compared to Tähti Roverit JK's 55 points so far. The latter are still struggling against Top de Afaragloto to score and get any sort of positive result on this Matchday Thirty.

In the capital city of Seinät, FC Suteakuepa find a goal to keep their dreams of staying afloat alive. Iacopo Fantacci, the striker set to leave as part of signing one-year contracts, may have done his part to help his club get saved from relegation. However, their dreams of staying afloat rely on FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale dropping points from their winning position against KftA Lehoi Hegodun.

At the 70th minute, Torcull Allan finally finds himself on the scoresheet to give a 3-1 result at this moment for Turvatyyny. However, they need RJK Joskus to score within the next 20 minutes if they want any chance of IFCF football.

But in Aurinkolasit, a counter-attacking play from Voitamatton AJK, upon finding out that the Star Rovers have taken the lead, has floundered! A mistimed pass from Kristjana Jørgensen gets intercepted by Trygve Håkansson, who sends it to Lachlan Harlow for an equalizer in the 76th minute. The score is now level at 1-1, with Voitamatton at 57 points now. They just need to rely on Tähti Roverit JK from not scoring.

We return to Goudini once again. Pia Iturburua showing why Douglas didn't need to worry when he was out injured, scoring a lovely goal in the 83rd minute. Any sort of hope for Turvatyyny is now out the window—there is no chance for them to catch-up now unless RJK Joskus can find two quick goals. But Iturburua and Drummond Douglas had it, and they're able to comfortably cruise to a win that guarantees them fourth place. IFCF football, here they come.

In Hidasukelta, an angel heard the Star Rovers prayers in the 87th minute. Gustav Bergman, a defensive midfielder with no penchant for scoring goals, threads a ball through the legs of several Afaragloto defenders to give the Star Rovers the lead. At the same time, Thankful Gibson scores a goal against Voitamatton that swaps the title from Aurinkolasit to Hidasukelta.

As we enter stoppage time, a penalty was awarded to KftA Lehoi Hegodun following a poor challenge from Rosalía Bengoetxea. Boos are pouring in from the Kappale faithful as Darby Innes steps up to take the pen. Innes, calm and collected, takes the shot which is blocked by María Vanhanen but ricochets back into open play. It falls back into Inkeri Nykvist feet, who gets it off and sends it in! There's little time left to play and Kappale are set to go down! And they do, with the referee saying there's no more to playa.

We have our results.

MATCHDAY THIRTY: FULL-TIME
Tähti Roverit JK 1–0 Top de Afaragloto
1.FC Goudini 2–0 RJK Joskus
Voitamatton AJK 1–2 Päiväunelijoita KUY
fc auringonottaja 0–0 Berriaordena GZ
1. Turvatyyny TJK 3-1 SD Marribuia
Astraalitaso 2–0 SC Tiedemessut
FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale 1–1 KftA Lehoi Hegodun
FC Suteakuepa 1–0 Kyynel PK

.P Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Tähti Roverit JK           30   16   9   5    52   34  +18    57 - Champions, IFCF Champions League 
 2 Voitamatton AJK            30   17   5   8    57   42  +15    56 - IFCF Challengers Cup
 3 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         30   15   7   8    78   54  +24    52 - IFCF Challengers Cup
 4 1.FC Goudini               30   15   6   9    65   58   +7    51 - IFCF Challengers Cup
 5 1. Turvatyyny TJK          30   16   2  12    41   31  +10    50
 6 Astraalitaso               30   14   4  12    43   35   +8    46
 7 SD Marriubia               30   12   8  10    55   51   +4    44
 8 fc auringonottaja          30   12   7  11    41   48   −7    43
 9 Päiväunelijoita KUY        30   12   6  12    47   55   −8    42
10 Berriaordena GZ            30   11   6  13    43   50   −7    39
11 Kyynel PK                  30   10   6  14    21   31  −10    36
12 RJK Joskus                 30    9   6  15    46   58  −12    33
13 FC Suteakuepa              30    9   5  16    28   33   −5    32
14 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       30    7  11  12    38   49  −11    32 - Relegated
15 Top de Afaragloto          30    8   6  16    36   49  −13    30 - Relegated 
16 SC Tiedemessut             30    7   6  17    40   53  −13    27 - Relegated

We've reached the end, and we have a champion for the first time. Tähti Roverit JK, relying on everything going their way, had everything go their way. Beyond the actual losers in FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale, Top de Afaragloto and SC Tiedemessut, no team quite frankly lost as much as 1. Turvatyyny TJK. Once atop the league table, they now find themselves on the outside looking in to IFCF competition.

.P Igonousta                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Aina Alla KL               30   19   6   5    65   32  +33    63 - Champions, Promoted, IFCF Liga B
 2 Äläitke MJK                30   12  10   8    51   40  +11    46 - Promoted, IFCF Liga B
 3 Sähköä Fitness             30   12  10   8    37   34   +3    46 - Promoted, IFCF Liga B
 4 Lumipalloja JK             30   13   6  11    35   24  +11    45
 5 MM Disko PJK               30   12   9   9    44   39   +5    45
 6 SFC Hiria                  30   12   8  10    27   26   +1    44
 7 Basozuria SF               30   10  13   7    56   50   +6    43
 8 Sporting Laskuri           30   12   7  11    41   48   −7    43
 9 Sporting Ekletikoa         30   11   7  12    41   43   −2    40
10 Golden Autumn SC           30   11   7  12    32   40   −8    40
11 Futbola Giza Kolorea       30    9  11  10    44   42   +2    38
12 Ilmari FC                  30   11   4  15    51   61  −10    37
13 Kunnianosoitus SJK         30    7  13  10    36   44   −8    34
14 US Piiri                   30    9   4  17    46   60  −14    31  - Relegated
15 Haize Bolada               30    7   9  14    38   46   −8    30  - Relegated
16 Osoa Ilunduz IFK           30    8   6  16    35   50  −15    30  - Relegated

The same three clubs that were in the top three on Matchday Twenty-Four are going to be the same three clubs that enter the Ohorekunnia for Season III. Lumipalloja JK finishes the season closest to nabbing a promotion spot of the three clubs relegated from the Ohorekunnia in Season I, missing out by just one point.

.P Hasisukas                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 GS Onddoa                  30   17   6   7    68   48  +20    57 - Champions, Promoted
 2 Braggsville City           30   17   4   9    63   41  +22    55 - Promoted
 3 Paperezko Begiak CF        30   16   7   7    61   45  +16    55 - Promoted
 4 Gardena Gogoa KK           30   14  10   6    60   47  +13    52
 5 Sinesgarriak CS            30   14   8   8    57   46  +11    50
 6 Galtzada FC                30   12   9   9    52   46   +6    45
 7 2JK Syväsakki              30   12   7  11    51   51    0    43
 8 United Players of Myrtle   30   11   9  10    57   54   +3    42
 9 NJK Tiet                   30   11   8  11    60   62   −2    41
10 Haamulanka HJK             30   10   9  11    43   46   −3    39
11 Gaitzikikusi 90’           30   10   9  11    39   44   −5    39
12 AFK 2019 Riittävä          30    8  13   9    43   40   +3    37
13 Kometa Kosmikoa            30    9   5  16    38   52  −14    32
14 Braggsville Sarian         30    7   8  15    48   61  −13    29  - Relegated
15 Iltaavarten JK             30    3  11  16    39   61  −22    20  - Relegated
16 The Seers                  30    4   7  19    29   64  −35    19  - Relegated

It's always the ones you don't expect. GS Onddoa leaped over Braggsville City on the final Matchday of the season to steal the Hasisukas and win it all. It's nothing massive, mind you, as the two, alongside Paperezko Begiak CF, will enter the Igonousta next season to replace US Piiri, Haize Bolada and Osoa Ilunduz IFK. Those three clubs will take the place of Braggsville Sarian, Iltaavarten JK and The Seers.

Kalija Gortolekua
Grand Finale
Berriaordena GZ 0-1 1. Turvatyyny TJK
played at Kansanala in Seinät Capital City

It was a lackluster match, given the exciting upsets that had occurred. A seventh minute goal from center midfielder Mireia Hubbard was all that was needed for Turvatyyny to achieve cup glory for the first time in Gortoleki history. They were eternally the first club to win a nationwide cup. Maybe that can soothe the ills of not making it to IFCF Cup Competiton—there's the Cup Winners' Cup. A ribbon on this season of domestic football in Gortolekua, if you well.

DIG DEEPER
>KAPPALE: Where do we go from here, other than down?
>TÄHTI ROVERIT: The glory of winning and staying at the top: Ranking each pivotal campaign moment
>VOITAMATTON: Skjeggestad: 'We'll be back. They know we exist again'
>EVEN LOWER LEAGUES: A rundown on Divisions Four through Ten for those with no idea about what's going on

by **Gortolekua** » Sun Sep 04, 2022 7:47 pm

The third running of the Gortoleki Ohorekunnia has come and gone. Due to budget restructuring at Totegia, our free-to-read coverage of this season has been condensed into one massive preview and review for our multiversal readers. Paid subscribers can access the full, matchday-by-matchday recap of the Ohorekunnia in due course. We apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused for fans of Gortoleki football.

For starters, there was a limited amount of transfers both in and out of Gortolekua, as the Gortoleki Football Union imposed transfer bans on most Gortoleki clubs until financial records were provided to the GFU under the Financial Equity in Football Act, or FEFA.

“It’s a clever way of ensuring club owners can’t finagle the system here in Gortolekua,” Seinät University professor Taylor Kauppila said. Kauppila’s academic work focuses on finances in football; they were one of the advisers to the Gortoleki government in drafting FEFA. “Clubs have to report their incomes and expenditures to an independent board that assesses each club’s financial stability to ensure safety and longevity. It’s a slight continuation of pre-aavekitze government policy to sponsor football clubs at all costs.”

While it meant clubs couldn’t bring foreign players in, FEFA allows for clubs to transfer players out to meet regulations. The following players departed their clubs ahead of the third Ohorekunnia:

Notable Multiversal Transfers
Melesina Archie (GK, 21, GTK) from FC Suteakuepa to Urim (ADB)
Rocío Guadarrama (CB, 26, GTK) from FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale to Morannon Athletic FC (TKT)
Vilhelmi Hudson (CB, 18, GTK) from SC Tiedemessut to Tihon United (CMT)
Judith Berge (ST, 19, GTK) Tähti Roverit JK to Syneca (SRS)
Frantziska Robertsen (CB, 24, GTK) from Tähti Roverit JK to Amel-Marduk (ADB)
César Irvin (LW, 22, GTK) from SD Marriubia to Sterrenwolde FC (KOR)
Grier Fishman (LB, 31, GTK) from SD Marriubia to Forest City Athletic (QUE)
Mapla Salinas (CM, 27, GTK) from FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale to Galaxy SC (XAN)
Malone Newport (GK, 31, GTK) from Kyynel PK to Passerine (KSK)
Xóchitl Barros (GK, 21, GTK) from Berriaordena GZ to Valley Fold Vanquishers (COR)
Martirio Jarvis (CM, 19, GTK) from SC Tiedemessut to Flames of the West (CMT)
Trygve Håkansson (CM, 28, GTK) from Päiväunelijoita KUY to Kirkintill (TLI)
Theobald Otxoa (CB/LB, 28, GTK) from RJK Joskus to Alliance Barossia (NPH)
Myra Randal (CM/AM, 27, GTK) from 1.FC Goudini to La Nueva Avenida (FFD)
Darby Innes (LW, 28, GTK) from KftA Lehoi Hegodun to Avenida Leal (FFD)

Two late-window departures for 1.FC Goudini and KftA Lehoi Hegodun, which were rumored to be for undisclosed fees, can only mean the following: They needed cash quickly to make their budget. And they got their cash. But by then, it was too little, too late for most clubs to make FEFA regulations. The only club to do so was Tähti Roverit JK (where are the tinfoil hats when you need them?), bringing in Trolleborg’s Kay Tjeerd to replace starlet Judith Berge.

As for free agent signings, Ko-orenites Roger Mathias, Aisea Aelsine and Swdlof yFolher joined the Ohorekunnia. Mathias signed for FC Suteakuepa, who entered FEFA-compliance in time, while Aelsine joined Aina Alla KL and yFolher signed to Sähköä Fitness—two promoted clubs who receive a gap year before needing to comply with FEFA.

“That gap year for newly-promoted teams is such a glitch-maker in FEFA, upon looking at it further,” Kauppila said. “In hindsight, I don’t know why we included such a thing in FEFA but hey: Government incompetency never changes now, does it? Voitamatton [AJK] were probably stoked they could take advantage of this when they went up last season.”

Following ten matchdays of Ohorekunnia football, Tähti Roverit JK continued their relative dominance, losing just once and collecting a respectable 23 out of 30 available points. There’s an aura of swagger present among those at the club, even in spite of Judith Berge’s departure. Things feel quality, and with dominant wins across the board. But it’s the rest of the top four that are drawing eyes. SD Marriubia, led by Ko-orenite centre-back Fumio Tagawa, is just two points behind the current leaders. Newly-promoted Sähköä Fitness has also amassed six wins alongside SD Marribuia and fc auringonottaja, but it’s their lone draw that puts them ahead of Kuurotaivas’ Finest.

As for the rest of our traditional title challengers, you’ll have to make your way to mid-table to find the first of four: Voitamatton AJK’s nine goals is the third-fewest in the league after ten matches, only ahead of two early relegation candidates. 1. Turvatyyny TJK’s record reads like a football formation, unable to get those key wins when they need to. 1.FC Goudini has lost the goalscoring output that Myra Randal provided, finding themselves squarely in the negative goal differential—a rarity for the Seagulls. And KftA Lehoi Hegodun, reeling from the loss of Darby Innes, is one of these bottom three clubs. Their goal output severely reduced, there needs to be reassessing from manager Salvador Foster to ensure this early start isn’t the norm.

Joining the Winged Lions in the drop zone at this season’s early stage are FC Suteakuepa and Kyynel PK. Kyynel, who saw Baptism of Fire starting goalkeeper Malone Newport depart for Kelssek’s Passerine, have allowed 26 goals this season. Not only is it tied for most goals allowed so far this season, it’s five goals less than what they allowed for the entirety of last season. Unless they allow a goal once every four matches from here on out, that goals allowed tally will surely pass 31.

.P Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 Tähti Roverit JK           10    7   2   1    25   12  +13    23
02 SD Marriubia               10    6   3   1    20   15   +5    21
03 Sähköä Fitness             10    6   1   3    20   16   +4    19
04 fc auringonottaja          10    6   0   4    13    7   +6    18
05 RJK Joskus                 10    5   2   3    21   17   +4    17
06 Berriaordena GZ            10    5   1   4    17   18   −1    16
07 Voitamatton AJK            10    4   3   3     9    5   +4    15
08 Astraalitaso               10    4   3   3    16   15   +1    15
09 1. Turvatyyny TJK          10    3   4   3    18   15   +3    13
10 Äläitke MJK                10    3   3   4    21   26   −5    12
11 1.FC Goudini               10    3   2   5    15   16   −1    11
12 Päiväunelijoita KUY        10    3   2   5    10   13   −3    11
13 Aina Alla KL               10    2   5   3    10   14   −4    11
14 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         10    3   2   5     7   11   −4    11
15 FC Suteakuepa              10    0   4   6     5   14   −9     4
16 Kyynel PK                  10    1   1   8    13   26  −13     4

.P Igonousta                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 SC Tiedemessut             10    7   0   3    18    9   +9    21
02 Hiljainenajo SUY           10    6   2   2    13    7   +6    20
03 Basozuria SF               10    6   1   3    23   13  +10    19
04 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       10    6   1   3    23   15   +8    19
05 Sporting Ekletikoa         10    6   1   3    15   13   +2    19
06 Ilmari FC                  10    5   3   2    12    7   +5    18
07 GS Onddoa                  10    4   2   4    13   12   +1    14
08 Kunnianosoitus SJK         10    4   1   5    13   12   +1    13
09 Futbola Giza Kolorea       10    4   1   5    15   19   −4    13
10 Lumipalloja JK             10    3   3   4     8   12   −4    12
11 Sporting Laskuri           10    3   3   4    11   17   −6    12
12 Golden Autumn SC           10    3   2   5     8   12   −4    11
13 Paperezko Begiak CF        10    3   1   6    12   18   −6    10
14 Braggsville City           10    2   3   5    19   24   −5     9
15 SFC Hiria                  10    2   2   6    10   18   −8     8
16 Top de Afaragloto          10    1   4   5     8   13   −5     7

.P Hasisukas                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 NJK Tiet                   10    7   2   1    20   13   +7    23
02 Haize Bolada               10    6   2   2    20   13   +7    20
03 Gardena Gogoa KK           10    6   2   2    19   12   +7    20
04 Haamulanka HJK             10    6   1   3    22   16   +6    19
05 US Piiri                   10    5   3   2    18   11   +7    18
06 Kometa Kosmikoa            10    6   0   4    24   19   +5    18
07 2JK Syväsakki              10    5   3   2    16   15   +1    18
08 Sinesgarriak CS            10    4   1   5    16   19   −3    13
09 AFK 2019 Riittävä          10    3   3   4    12    9   +3    12
10 FC Hitzegin-Hitzegin       10    3   3   4    16   17   −1    12
11 United Players of Myrtle   10    3   2   5    16   23   −7    11
12 Galtzada FC                10    3   1   6    16   19   −3    10
13 Osoa Ilunduz IFK           10    3   1   6    12   21   −9    10
14 Sudenovi Varasrakeet       10    2   2   6    10   15   −5     8
15 Limbossa LJK               10    2   2   6    13   19   −6     8
16 Gaitzikikusi 90’           10    0   4   6     9   18   −9     4

Twenty matchdays into the season and now we’re finally starting to see the league appear more like the league. Tähti Roverit JK continues to lead the league, but fc auringonottaja continues to sneak up on the Star Rovers. Two points split the two, but it may be auringonottaja’s tendency to win or lose—and nothing else—that may hinder their chances of upsetting the status quo. The two table-toppers are set to face off in Matchday Twenty-One in what will certainly set a tone for the rest of the season.

As for the rest of the top four, 1.FC Goudini has found its footing once more, amassing a 7-2-1 record over the last ten matches to insert themselves in the top four conversation. Level on points with Goudini are last year’s runners-up in Voitamatton AJK. Rounding off the top six are KftA Lehoi Hegodun, crawling out of the troughs of relegation, and 1. Turvatyyny TJK, three points removed from a top four spot.

In the mid-table battle, newly-promoted Aina Alla KL are maintaining a sense of comfort in the league, ten points clear of relegation and six points away from IFCF contention. Could a good run of points see them secure a top four spot? Falling down the table, after starting positively in their first ten matches, is SD Marriubia. Fans of the 11th place Rubies certainly realized their early season success would not last long, but to be this low in the table is a surprise, even to some of their players. And Astraalitaso, without their gaffer in Bárbara Sanderson, are seeing the effects of that departure in their season.

Down in the boondocks are recently promoted Äläitke MJK, alongside two projected celler-dwellers in FC Suteakuepa and Kyynel PK. Sähköä Fitness finds itself close to relegation, two points safe with ten matchdays to go. With how close to the wire we’re getting in the season, these four clubs at the bottom of the table will need to tune-up, step-up and take initiative to ensure they aren’t the ones dropping out at the end of the season.

.P Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 Tähti Roverit JK           20   11   6   3    41   25  +16    39
02 fc auringonottaja          20   12   1   7    30   17  +13    37
03 1.FC Goudini               20   10   4   6    41   32   +9    34
04 Voitamatton AJK            20   10   4   6    25   19   +6    34
05 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         20   10   3   7    30   24   +6    33
06 1. Turvatyyny TJK          20    8   7   5    38   28  +10    31
07 RJK Joskus                 20    9   2   9    28   27   +1    29
08 Aina Alla KL               20    7   8   5    25   27   −2    29
09 Astraalitaso               20    7   7   6    28   29   −1    28
10 Berriaordena GZ            20    9   1  10    26   29   −3    28
11 SD Marriubia               20    7   6   7    46   46    0    27
12 Päiväunelijoita KUY        20    8   3   9    29   30   −1    27
13 Sähköä Fitness             20    6   3  11    38   48  −10    21
14 Äläitke MJK                20    5   4  11    35   49  −14    19
15 FC Suteakuepa              20    3   6  11    16   29  −13    15
16 Kyynel PK                  20    3   5  12    24   41  −17    14

.P Igonousta                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 Hiljainenajo SUY           20   14   2   4    30   16  +14    44
02 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       20   13   3   4    46   23  +23    42
03 SC Tiedemessut             20   13   1   6    35   23  +12    40
04 Basozuria SF               20   10   4   6    43   32  +11    34
05 Ilmari FC                  20    9   4   7    27   22   +5    31
06 Kunnianosoitus SJK         20    9   3   8    35   29   +6    30
07 Golden Autumn SC           20    8   6   6    29   26   +3    30
08 Sporting Ekletikoa         20    8   4   8    23   24   −1    28
09 SFC Hiria                  20    8   4   8    27   29   −2    28
10 Sporting Laskuri           20    6   7   7    20   26   −6    25
11 Futbola Giza Kolorea       20    7   4   9    30   38   −8    25
12 GS Onddoa                  20    7   3  10    20   25   −5    24
13 Paperezko Begiak CF        20    7   3  10    26   32   −6    24
14 Lumipalloja JK             20    5   5  10    21   31  −10    20
15 Top de Afaragloto          20    3   4  13    15   31  −16    13
16 Braggsville City           20    2   5  13    28   48  −20    11

.P Hasisukas                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 NJK Tiet                   20   15   2   3    42   24  +18    47
02 US Piiri                   20   10   6   4    36   23  +13    36
03 Haamulanka HJK             20   10   4   6    48   41   +7    34
04 FC Hitzegin-Hitzegin       20   10   4   6    35   28   +7    34
05 Haize Bolada               20   10   4   6    36   30   +6    34
06 Sinesgarriak CS            20   11   1   8    34   33   +1    34
07 2JK Syväsakki              20    7   7   6    35   37   −2    28
08 Gardena Gogoa KK           20    8   3   9    30   31   −1    27
09 Kometa Kosmikoa            20    7   5   8    37   40   −3    26
10 Osoa Ilunduz IFK           20    8   2  10    31   37   −6    26
11 AFK 2019 Riittävä          20    6   7   7    24   22   +2    25
12 United Players of Myrtle   20    6   5   9    31   39   −8    23
13 Sudenovi Varasrakeet       20    5   4  11    27   32   −5    19
14 Gaitzikikusi 90’           20    4   7   9    28   37   −9    19
15 Limbossa LJK               20    5   4  11    26   36  −10    19
16 Galtzada FC                20    4   3  13    27   37  −10    15

With five matchdays left in the season, fc auringonottaja have made a surprise surge, taking 10 of 15 available points between Matchday Twenty-One and Matchday Twenty-Five. Of course, auringonottaja would have preferred to take all three points to add a bit more comfort room against Tähti Roverit JK, who had led the title race for so long, only to enter the home stretch as the chasers instead of the chasee.

1.FC Goudini has meanwhile created some room between themselves and the rest of the top four chasers, with two points to separate themselves from Voitamatton after finally finding some goals to score in their tally.

Down the table, Kyynel PK has clawed their way out of last place and are just three points from remaining in the Ohorekunnia for a fourth season. But what is most surprising is Sähköä Fitness’ league health. Starting the season with a respectable 6-1-3 record after ten Matchdays, they have not won a match since Matchday Nine. Since Matchday Ten, their record has been a shockingly awful 0-4-11. Four points of an available 45 is laughable, and downright relegation form. No surprises that they find themselves down in 15th, but it’s not the worst they could be doing. They could be FC Suteakuepa, in last with no sight of improvement planned over the next five gameweeks.

.P Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 fc auringonottaja          25   15   2   8    39   21  +18    47
02 Tähti Roverit JK           25   13   7   5    48   30  +18    46
03 1.FC Goudini               25   12   7   6    55   44  +11    43
04 Voitamatton AJK            25   12   5   8    30   26   +4    41
05 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         25   12   4   9    45   34  +11    40
06 1. Turvatyyny TJK          25   10   8   7    45   36   +9    38
07 RJK Joskus                 25   11   3  11    39   36   +3    36
08 SD Marriubia               25   10   6   9    53   51   +2    36
09 Berriaordena GZ            25   11   2  12    33   35   −2    35
10 Päiväunelijoita KUY        25   10   4  11    34   38   −4    34
11 Aina Alla KL               25    8   9   8    28   33   −5    33
12 Astraalitaso               25    8   7  10    36   46  −10    31
13 Äläitke MJK                25    7   6  12    43   55  −12    27
14 Kyynel PK                  25    6   6  13    32   45  −13    24
15 Sähköä Fitness             25    6   5  14    43   59  −16    23
16 FC Suteakuepa              25    5   7  13    24   38  −14    22

.P Igonousta                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       25   15   6   4    54   29  +25    51
02 Hiljainenajo SUY           25   16   2   7    40   28  +12    50
03 SC Tiedemessut             25   15   2   8    42   31  +11    47
04 Basozuria SF               25   12   5   8    50   42   +8    41
05 SFC Hiria                  25   11   5   9    36   33   +3    38
06 Ilmari FC                  25   11   4  10    35   31   +4    37
07 Golden Autumn SC           25   10   6   9    38   39   −1    36
08 Kunnianosoitus SJK         25   10   5  10    40   35   +5    35
09 Sporting Laskuri           25    9   8   8    32   30   +2    35
10 Sporting Ekletikoa         25   10   4  11    29   32   −3    34
11 Lumipalloja JK             25    9   5  11    35   40   −5    32
12 Futbola Giza Kolorea       25    9   5  11    41   49   −8    32
13 Paperezko Begiak CF        25    8   7  10    28   33   −5    31
14 GS Onddoa                  25    7   5  13    25   34   −9    26
15 Top de Afaragloto          25    5   4  16    22   40  −18    19
16 Braggsville City           25    3   7  15    35   56  −21    16

.P Hasisukas                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 NJK Tiet                   25   16   3   6    46   31  +15    51
02 US Piiri                   25   13   7   5    47   26  +21    46
03 Haize Bolada               25   13   5   7    43   34   +9    44
04 FC Hitzegin-Hitzegin       25   13   5   7    40   31   +9    44
05 Haamulanka HJK             25   11   5   9    53   49   +4    38
06 Sinesgarriak CS            25   11   5   9    36   36    0    38
07 2JK Syväsakki              25    9   9   7    42   40   +2    36
08 AFK 2019 Riittävä          25    9   8   8    31   25   +6    35
09 Osoa Ilunduz IFK           25   10   4  11    39   44   −5    34
10 Kometa Kosmikoa            25    8   8   9    40   43   −3    32
11 Gardena Gogoa KK           25    9   4  12    33   39   −6    31
12 United Players of Myrtle   25    7   6  12    35   45  −10    27
13 Sudenovi Varasrakeet       25    7   5  13    36   40   −4    26
14 Galtzada FC                25    7   5  13    33   40   −7    26
15 Limbossa LJK               25    6   5  14    31   46  −15    23
16 Gaitzikikusi 90’           25    5   8  12    35   51  −16    23

They did it. They absolutely did it.

Holding off a late surge from the Star Rovers and 1. Turvatyyny TJK, fc auringonottaja, written off to be mid-table fodder, has stunned the nation. Kuurotaivas’ Finest is now Gortolekua’s Finest, winning the Ohorekunnia in just their second season as a top-flight club. Of course, there were surprises to be held as well.

Turvatyyny were close in playing spoilers for the league, as they were three points off first going into the final matchday, but their destiny was not in their own hands (or feet, because this is football).

.P Ohorekunnia               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 fc auringonottaja          30   18   2  10    46   25  +21    56
02 Tähti Roverit JK           30   16   7   7    53   34  +19    55
03 1. Turvatyyny TJK          30   15   8   7    55   40  +15    53
04 Voitamatton AJK            30   15   7   8    35   28   +7    52
05 1.FC Goudini               30   14   7   9    60   49  +11    49
06 KftA Lehoi Hegodun         30   14   5  11    53   42  +11    47
07 RJK Joskus                 30   13   4  13    45   43   +2    43
08 SD Marriubia               30   11   7  12    58   58    0    40
09 Berriaordena GZ            30   12   4  14    37   42   −5    40
10 Astraalitaso               30   10   9  11    42   50   −8    39
11 Aina Alla KL               30    9  11  10    34   41   −7    38
12 Äläitke MJK                30   10   7  13    53   63  −10    37
13 Päiväunelijoita KUY        30   10   4  16    37   47  −10    34
14 Sähköä Fitness             30    8   6  16    48   64  −16    30
15 Kyynel PK                  30    7   7  16    33   48  −15    28
16 FC Suteakuepa              30    7   7  16    28   43  −15    28

.P Igonousta                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 FC 1-2-3-4-5 Kappale       30   17   7   6    64   41  +23    58
02 Hiljainenajo SUY           30   18   4   8    44   30  +14    58
03 SC Tiedemessut             30   16   4  10    52   41  +11    52
04 Basozuria SF               30   14   6  10    61   55   +6    48
05 SFC Hiria                  30   13   6  11    43   40   +3    45
06 Sporting Laskuri           30   11  10   9    39   36   +3    43
07 Kunnianosoitus SJK         30   12   6  12    48   41   +7    42
08 Ilmari FC                  30   12   6  12    43   40   +3    42
09 Paperezko Begiak CF        30   11   9  10    39   40   −1    42
10 Golden Autumn SC           30   11   7  12    47   50   −3    40
11 Futbola Giza Kolorea       30   11   6  13    43   54  −11    39
12 Lumipalloja JK             30   11   5  14    38   44   −6    38
13 Sporting Ekletikoa         30   10   6  14    33   40   −7    36
14 GS Onddoa                  30    9   7  14    32   40   −8    34
15 Braggsville City           30    6   8  16    44   61  −17    26
16 Top de Afaragloto          30    7   5  18    30   47  −17    26

.P Hasisukas                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
01 NJK Tiet                   30   18   4   8    56   37  +19    58
02 US Piiri                   30   16   8   6    53   29  +24    56
03 Haize Bolada               30   14   6  10    47   42   +5    48
04 AFK 2019 Riittävä          30   13   8   9    40   30  +10    47
05 FC Hitzegin-Hitzegin       30   13   8   9    45   38   +7    47
06 Haamulanka HJK             30   13   7  10    56   52   +4    46
07 Sinesgarriak CS            30   13   7  10    42   42    0    46
08 2JK Syväsakki              30   11  12   7    47   43   +4    45
09 Kometa Kosmikoa            30   12   8  10    51   50   +1    44
10 Osoa Ilunduz IFK           30   11   5  14    47   54   −7    38
11 Sudenovi Varasrakeet       30   10   6  14    44   45   −1    36
12 United Players of Myrtle   30    9   7  14    45   54   −9    34
13 Gardena Gogoa KK           30   10   4  16    40   51  −11    34
14 Galtzada FC                30    9   5  16    40   47   −7    32
15 Gaitzikikusi 90’           30    7   9  14    41   60  −19    30
16 Limbossa LJK               30    6   6  18    33   53  −20    24

Totegia | A Domestic Sports Newswire for Gortolekua

Totegia | A Domestic Sports Newswire for Gortolekua

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