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[Draft] Commend Andusre

A chamber dedicated to the dissemination of inter-regional peace and goodwill, via force if necessary.
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Maowi
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[Draft] Commend Andusre

Postby Maowi » Wed Mar 02, 2022 1:54 pm

Hello everyone! I have a draft to commend Andusre, best known for being Thaecia's co-founder. I am very excited about this project and would love to get feedback on it here!

So far I've been drafting it in the Europeian forums so thank you very much to everybody who's helped me out already :)

Commend Andusre

Commendation | Nominee: Andusre


The Security Council,

Convinced that Andusre has determinedly been a force for positive change in NationStates, bringing their energy and enthusiasm to interregional culture, diplomacy, and military activity via their extensive work in Thaecia;

Praising Andusre’s co-founding of Thaecia in January 2019, where they established a thriving population with a unique regional identity characterised by its sophisticated executive government, bicameral legislature, and highly social atmosphere;

Celebrating Andusre’s conception of the body known as the Electoral Commission (EC) in Thaecia’s first ever Legislative Resolution; despite the resolution’s later repeal, the EC continues to run regional elections and plays an integral role in Thaecian politics, generating a theatrical sense of excitement at every election;

Applauding Andusre’s two terms as the region’s first Prime Minister, during which they paved the way for all future administrations by:

  • creating and solidifying the framework of ministries that underpins Thaecia’s executive to this day;
  • organising regular cultural activities, such as contests and game nights, that strengthened the charisma and outreach of the community, routinely attracting foreign nations to participate and even to join the region;
  • cultivating high-quality activity on Thaecia’s Regional Message Board (RMB), which has made regional politics uniquely accessible to all nations and facilitated citizens' engagement with official legislative and judicial business taking place on satellite regions’ RMBs;
Recognising that Andusre has become synonymous with Thaecia’s foreign affairs, their personal and effective style of diplomacy forging strong bonds between Thaecia and a wide range of regions and communities, exemplified by:

  • their key role in drafting or negotiating all of Thaecia’s current treaties, i.e. those with The East Pacific (TEP), Europeia, The League, and Balder, through their many terms as a Senior Diplomat, spreading harmony throughout the multiverse;
  • their negotiation of embassies with 10000 Islands (XKI) and The Rejected Realms (TRR) as Foreign Affairs Minister, both of which remain very close to Thaecia; three months after the ratification of Thaecia's treaty with TEP, this marked a growth in the region's influence abroad and the start of an enduring affinity with major defender regions;
  • their prolific organisation of cultural collaborations with foreign partners, such as a musical watch party event involving Thaecia, XKI, and TRR in 2021 that drew high attendance from all three regions and was repeated on a larger scale in 2022, as well as the foreign affairs side of Thaecia’s similarly successful Late Nite Festival II, bringing in dozens of participants from several other regions;
Acclaiming Andusre’s influence in the construction of Thaecia’s military, elevating it to become one of NationStates’ largest forces through the development and articulation of Thaecia’s military ideology, and bringing awareness to the prosperity that an unaligned military can bring to a region both by fostering internal activity and as a crucial means of strengthening ties with influential regions all over the military spectrum;

Further appreciating Andusre’s contributions to the vigour of NationStates’ military scene through their frequent spearheading of joint operations with Thaecia’s allies;

Revelling in the considerable growth Andusre has fostered in regional World Assembly (WA) participation, supporting new Thaecian authors and promoting WA relevancy; their work in the WA culminated in their role as president, where:

  • they dedicated themselves to building the region’s WA program, causing its activity to skyrocket and heavily increasing WA literacy and awareness among Thaecians;
  • they acted as a key advisor to the Prime Minister on executive policy and served as Commander in Chief of Thaecia’s military, making important decisions on military operations;
Appreciative of Andusre’s efforts as an author of four Security Council resolutions including [resolution=SC#349]SC 349: Commend Marrabuk[/resolution], in which they highlighted the legacy of a key figure in TEP’s internal and foreign affairs, and [resolution=SC#379]SC #379: Reflections On 2021[/resolution], in which they thoughtfully catalogued the major events of that year;

Wishing to enshrine a record of Andusre’s impact on NationStates in the history books as a shining example for future trailblazers to draw inspiration from;

Hereby Commends Andusre.


Co-author: Thousand Branches
Last edited by Maowi on Sun May 15, 2022 9:23 am, edited 13 times in total.

I've written some GA stuff, a little bit of SC stuff, and I (sometimes) do things in Europeia!

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Maowi
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Postby Maowi » Wed Mar 02, 2022 1:55 pm

Commend Andusre

Commendation | Nominee: Andusre


The Security Council,

Convinced that Andusre has acted as a force for positive change in NationStates, bringing their distinctive brand of independence to prominence with an invaluable effect on the cultural richness of the multiverse;

Praising Andusre’s hard work in co-founding Thaecia in January 2019 alongside Xernon - within four months, they grew the region to a thriving population that has seldom dipped below 250 nations, establishing a unique regional identity characterised by its sophisticated executive government, bicameral legislature, and highly social atmosphere; Andusre’s focus on community has allowed Thaecia to sustain a flourishing political scene with activity levels that support its complex structure, which was essential in achieving the founders’ ideal of a robust, vibrant democracy;

Celebrating Andusre’s authorship of Thaecia’s first ever Legislative Resolution, devising the body known as the Electoral Commission (EC) to run regional elections; despite the resolution’s later repeal, the EC has played an integral part in Thaecian politics ever since, bringing a great sense of excitement to every election, and its foundations remain essentially unchanged;

Applauding Andusre’s two terms as the region’s first prime minister, during which they created and solidified the structure that underpins Thaecia’s executive to this day - in particular, their government became a prototype for running a successful cultural program, drawing extremely impressive levels of participation from the citizenry and abroad; regular projects - including contests and Regional Message Board activities - proved vital in forming a tight regional community and kick-starting Thaecia’s presence on the interregional stage;

Recognising that Andusre has become synonymous with Thaecia’s foreign affairs, as their personal and effective style of diplomacy forged strong bonds between Thaecia and a wide range of regions, socially bringing communities together in very real terms - during four months as the region’s Foreign Affairs Minister, Andusre negotiated the construction of embassies with 10000 Islands and The Rejected Realms, both of which remain very close to Thaecia (for example, a musical watch party event run by Andusre in 2021 drew high attendance from all three regions and is set to be repeated this year); similarly successful was Thaecia’s Late Nite Festival II, for which they organised the foreign affairs side;

Impressed by Andusre’s key role in drafting or negotiating all of Thaecia’s current treaties, i.e. those with The East Pacific (TEP), Europeia, The League, Balder, and The Communist Bloc (TCB), due to their many terms as a Senior Diplomat, spreading harmony throughout the multiverse;

Acclaiming Andusre’s influential part in building Thaecia’s military from the ground up, as Secretary of Defense for six months, elevating it from a group of just a few nations to one of NationStates’ largest forces; they developed and articulated the region’s military ideology, and their work shone a limelight on the great prosperity that an unaligned military can bring to a region, both by fostering internal activity but also as a crucial means of strengthening ties between Thaecia and regions all over the military spectrum - this is exemplified by the strength of Thaecia’s relationship with TEP and Europeia, both of which are similar to Thaecia in military ideology; with 10000 Islands, The Rejected Realms, and The League, which have defender militaries; and with TCB, whose military is dedicated to raiding right-wing regions and defending its allies and fellow leftist regions;

Rejoicing that Andusre championed Thaecian participation in the World Assembly, supporting new authors and advocating for the relevance of WA affairs, culminating in their election as President in November 2021; this has led to greater literacy in and awareness of the WA among Thaecians, and has boosted participation in regional debate and discussion of WA matters;

Appreciative of Andusre’s efforts as the primary author of three Security Council resolutions, in which they:
  • highlighted the legacy of a key figure in The East Pacific’s internal and foreign affairs in [resolution=SC#349]SC #349: Commend Marrabuk[/resolution];
  • brought about the interregional censure of New Western Atlantic’s dangerous conduct in [resolution=SC#366]SC #366: Liberate New Western Atlantic[/resolution]; and
  • provided a summary both thoughtful and celebratory of a year in NationStates in ([resolution=SC#379]SC #379: Reflections On 2021[/resolution]).
Wishing to enshrine a record of Andusre’s impact on NationStates in the history books, as a shining example for future trailblazers to draw inspiration from;

Hereby Commends Andusre.
Commend Andusre

Commendation | Nominee: Andusre


The Security Council,

Convinced that Andusre has acted as a force for positive change in NationStates, primarily via their indispensable work to create, develop, and grow Thaecia into a lively community and interregional presence;

Praising Andusre’s co-founding of Thaecia in January 2019 - they established a thriving population with a unique regional identity characterised by its sophisticated executive government, bicameral legislature, and highly social atmosphere; Andusre’s focus on community has allowed Thaecia to sustain a flourishing political scene with activity levels that support its robust, vibrant democracy;

Celebrating Andusre’s authorship of Thaecia’s first ever Legislative Resolution, devising the body known as the Electoral Commission (EC) to run regional elections; despite the resolution’s later repeal, the EC has played an integral part in Thaecian politics ever since and brought a great sense of excitement to every election - its foundations remain essentially unchanged;

Applauding Andusre’s two terms as the region’s first Prime Minister, during which they paved the way for all future administrations by:
  • creating and solidifying the ministerial structures that underpin Thaecia’s executive to this day;

  • organising regular cultural activities, such as contests and game nights, that strengthened Thaecia’s community and attracted foreign nations to participate and become part of that community;

  • making a concerted effort to cultivate activity on Thaecia’s Regional Message Board (RMB) - official legislative and judicial business is conducted on satellite regions’ RMBs, making this a crucial aspect of Thaecian society;
Recognising that Andusre has become synonymous with Thaecia’s foreign affairs, as their personal and effective style of diplomacy forged strong bonds between Thaecia and a wide range of regions, socially bringing communities together in very real terms - during four months as the region’s Foreign Affairs Minister, Andusre negotiated the construction of embassies with 10000 Islands (10KI) and The Rejected Realms (TRR), both of which remain very close to Thaecia;

Admiring Andusre’s further efforts to promote goodwill between Thaecia and regions such as 10KI and TRR by running a musical watch party event in 2021 that drew high attendance from all three regions and is set to be repeated this year, and by organising the foreign affairs side of Thaecia’s similarly successful Late Nite Festival II, which also brought in participants from several other regions;

Impressed by Andusre’s key role in drafting or negotiating all of Thaecia’s current treaties, i.e. those with The East Pacific (TEP), Europeia, The League, Balder, and The Communist Bloc (TCB), through their many terms as a Senior Diplomat, spreading harmony throughout the multiverse;

Acclaiming Andusre’s influential part in building Thaecia’s military from the ground up, elevating it to become one of NationStates’ largest forces during six months as Secretary of Defense; they developed and articulated the region’s military ideology, bringing awareness to the prosperity that an unaligned military can bring to a region both by fostering internal activity and as a crucial means of strengthening ties with regions all over the military spectrum - for example, Thaecia collaborates with independent regions like TEP and Europeia, defender regions like 10KI and the League, and regions like TCB that often raid right-wing regions;

Rejoicing that Andusre championed Thaecian participation in the World Assembly, supporting new authors and advocating for the relevance of WA affairs, culminating in their election as President in November 2021; this has led to greater literacy in and awareness of the WA among Thaecians, and has boosted participation in regional debate and discussion of WA matters;

Appreciative of Andusre’s efforts as the primary author of three Security Council resolutions, in which they:
  • highlighted the legacy of a key figure in The East Pacific’s internal and foreign affairs in [resolution=SC#349]SC #349: Commend Marrabuk[/resolution];
  • brought about the interregional censure of New Western Atlantic’s dangerous conduct in [resolution=SC#366]SC #366: Liberate New Western Atlantic[/resolution]; and
  • provided a summary both thoughtful and celebratory of a year in NationStates in ([resolution=SC#379]SC #379: Reflections On 2021[/resolution]).
Wishing to enshrine a record of Andusre’s impact on NationStates in the history books, as a shining example for future trailblazers to draw inspiration from;

Hereby Commends Andusre.
Commend Andusre

Commendation | Nominee: Andusre


The Security Council,

Convinced that Andusre has acted as a force for positive change in NationStates, primarily via their indispensable work to create, develop, and grow Thaecia into a lively community and interregional presence;

Praising Andusre’s co-founding of Thaecia in January 2019 - they established a thriving population with a unique regional identity characterised by its sophisticated executive government, bicameral legislature, and highly social atmosphere; Andusre’s focus on community has allowed Thaecia to sustain a flourishing political scene with activity levels that support its robust, vibrant democracy;

Celebrating Andusre’s authorship of Thaecia’s first ever Legislative Resolution, devising the body known as the Electoral Commission (EC) to run regional elections; despite the resolution’s later repeal, the EC has played an integral part in Thaecian politics ever since and brought a great sense of excitement to every election - its foundations remain essentially unchanged;

Applauding Andusre’s two terms as the region’s first Prime Minister, during which they paved the way for all future administrations by:
  • creating and solidifying the ministerial structures that underpin Thaecia’s executive to this day;

  • organising regular cultural activities, such as contests and game nights, that strengthened Thaecia’s community and attracted foreign nations to participate and become part of that community;

  • making a concerted effort to cultivate activity on Thaecia’s Regional Message Board (RMB) - official legislative and judicial business is conducted on satellite regions’ RMBs, making this a crucial aspect of Thaecian society;
Recognising that Andusre has become synonymous with Thaecia’s foreign affairs, as their personal and effective style of diplomacy forged strong bonds between Thaecia and a wide range of regions, socially bringing communities together in very real terms - during four months as the region’s Foreign Affairs Minister, Andusre negotiated the construction of embassies with 10000 Islands (XKI) and The Rejected Realms (TRR), both of which remain very close to Thaecia;

Admiring Andusre’s further efforts to promote goodwill between Thaecia and regions such as XKI and TRR by running a musical watch party event in 2021 that drew high attendance from all three regions and is set to be repeated this year, and by organising the foreign affairs side of Thaecia’s similarly successful Late Nite Festival II, which also brought in participants from several other regions;

Impressed by Andusre’s key role in drafting or negotiating all of Thaecia’s current treaties, i.e. those with The East Pacific (TEP), Europeia, The League, Balder, and The Communist Bloc (TCB), through their many terms as a Senior Diplomat, spreading harmony throughout the multiverse;

Acclaiming Andusre’s influential part in building Thaecia’s military from the ground up, elevating it to become one of NationStates’ largest forces during six months as Secretary of Defense; they developed and articulated the region’s military ideology, bringing awareness to the prosperity that an unaligned military can bring to a region both by fostering internal activity and as a crucial means of strengthening ties with regions all over the military spectrum - for example, Thaecia has often collaborated with independent regions like TEP, Europeia, and TCB, defender regions like XKI and the League, and raider regions like Lone Wolves United;

Further appreciating Andusre’s contributions to the vigour of NationStates’ military scene through their frequent spearheading of joint operations with Thaecia’s allies, including antifascist activities and highly-attended tag runs;

Rejoicing that Andusre championed Thaecian participation in the World Assembly, supporting new authors and advocating for the relevance of WA affairs, culminating in their election as President in November 2021; in this role,
  • their dedication and reforms to the region’s WA program caused its activity to skyrocket and has increased literacy in and awareness of the WA among Thaecians;

  • they were a key advisor to the Prime Minister on executive policy as well as acting as Commander in Chief of Thaecia’s military, making important calls on military operations;
Appreciative of Andusre’s efforts as an author of four Security Council resolutions, such as [resolution=SC#349]SC 349: Commend Marrabuk[/resolution] in which they highlighted the legacy of a key figure in The East Pacific’s internal and foreign affairs;

Wishing to enshrine a record of Andusre’s impact on NationStates in the history books, as a shining example for future trailblazers to draw inspiration from;

Hereby Commends Andusre.
Commend Andusre

Commendation | Nominee: Andusre


The Security Council,

Convinced that Andusre has determinedly been a force for positive change in NationStates via the extensive work they have put into creating, developing, and fostering the lively community and interregional presence of Thaecia;

Praising Andusre’s co-founding of Thaecia in January 2019, where they established a thriving population with a unique regional identity characterised by its sophisticated executive government, bicameral legislature, and highly social atmosphere;

Celebrating Andusre’s authorship of Thaecia’s first ever Legislative Resolution, devising the body known as the Electoral Commission (EC) to run regional elections; despite the resolution’s later repeal, the EC still plays an integral role in Thaecian politics and brings a great sense of excitement to every election;

Applauding Andusre’s two terms as the region’s first Prime Minister, during which they paved the way for all future administrations by:

  • creating and solidifying the framework of ministries that underpins Thaecia’s executive to this day;

  • organising regular cultural activities, such as contests and game nights, that strengthened the charisma and outreach of the community, even attracting several foreign nations to the region in the process;

  • cultivating activity on Thaecia’s Regional Message Board (RMB), which ensured that new nations received a warm welcome and sustained the region's model of official legislative and judicial business taking place on satellite regions’ RMBs;
Recognising that Andusre has become synonymous with Thaecia’s foreign affairs, their personal and effective style of diplomacy forging strong bonds between Thaecia and a wide range of regions and communities, exemplified by:

  • their negotiation of embassies with 10000 Islands (XKI) and The Rejected Realms (TRR) as Foreign Affairs Minister, both of which remain very close to Thaecia;

  • their organisation of a musical watch party event involving Thaecia, XKI, and TRR in 2021 that drew high attendance from all three regions and is set to be repeated this year, as well as the foreign affairs side of Thaecia’s similarly successful Late Nite Festival II, which brought in dozens of foreign participants from several other regions;

  • their key role in drafting or negotiating all of Thaecia’s current treaties, i.e. those with The East Pacific (TEP), Europeia, The League, and Balder, through their many terms as a Senior Diplomat, spreading harmony throughout the multiverse;
Acclaiming Andusre’s influence in the construction of Thaecia’s military, elevating it to become one of NationStates’ largest forces through the development and articulation of Thaecia’s military ideology, and bringing awareness to the prosperity that an unaligned military can bring to a region both by fostering internal activity and as a crucial means of strengthening ties with influential regions all over the military spectrum;

Further appreciating Andusre’s contributions to the vigour of NationStates’ military scene through their frequent spearheading of joint operations with Thaecia’s allies, such as the highly-attended occupation of England, antifascist activities, and joint tag and detag runs;

Revelling in the considerable growth Andusre has fostered in regional World Assembly participation, supporting new Thaecian authors and promoting WA relevancy; their work in the World Assembly culminated in their role as president, where:

  • they dedicated themselves to reforming the region’s WA program, causing its activity to skyrocket and heavily increasing WA literacy and awareness among Thaecians;

  • they acted as a key advisor to the Prime Minister on executive policy and served as Commander in Chief of Thaecia’s military, making important calls on military operations;
Appreciative of Andusre’s efforts as an author of four Security Council resolutions including [resolution=SC#349]SC 349: Commend Marrabuk[/resolution], in which they highlighted the legacy of a key figure in TEP’s internal and foreign affairs;

Wishing to enshrine a record of Andusre’s impact on NationStates in the history books as a shining example for future trailblazers to draw inspiration from;

Hereby Commends Andusre.
Last edited by Maowi on Thu May 12, 2022 10:44 am, edited 4 times in total.

I've written some GA stuff, a little bit of SC stuff, and I (sometimes) do things in Europeia!

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Quebecshire
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Postby Quebecshire » Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:09 pm

Full support.
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Cheesy Tots
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Postby Cheesy Tots » Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:11 pm

ANDYYYYY

feedback in a bit but lovely nominee
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Fachumonn
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Postby Fachumonn » Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:12 pm

Why isn't it nation-linked when you say andusre and only for regions? Like this: Commend Andusre. Otherwise full support
Last edited by Fachumonn on Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Apatosaurus
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Postby Apatosaurus » Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:16 pm

Some feedback. I think Andy is Commendable, and once this is more fleshed out I can see myself supporting this, but the main issue here is that you have some overly long clauses which are both clunky and fluff up commendable material so it's hard to understand. A substantial amount of this also just repeats other parts.

Maowi wrote:Praising Andusre’s hard work in co-founding Thaecia in January 2019 alongside Xernon - within four months, they grew the region to a thriving population that has seldom dipped below 250 nations, establishing a unique regional identity characterised by its sophisticated executive government, bicameral legislature, and highly social atmosphere; Andusre’s focus on community has allowed Thaecia to sustain a flourishing political scene with activity levels that support its complex structure, which was essential in achieving the founders’ ideal of a robust, vibrant democracy;

Entire rewrite:
Praising Andusre’s hard work in co-founding Thaecia in January 2019 alongside Xernon, a region home to an active and vibrant community and which has now become a significant participant in the international stage; Andusre’s focus on community has allowed Thaecia to sustain a flourishing political scene with activity levels that support its complex structure, which was essential in achieving the founders’ ideal of a robust, vibrant democracy,


The rest of the material (recruitment, creating the government structure, etc.) just put it into another clause, particularly since a lot of it you already detail elsewhere.

Maowi wrote:Recognising that Andusre has become synonymous with Thaecia’s foreign affairs, as their personal and effective style of diplomacy forged strong bonds between Thaecia and a wide range of regions, socially bringing communities together in very real terms - during four months as the region’s Foreign Affairs Minister, Andusre negotiated the construction of embassies with 10000 Islands and The Rejected Realms, both of which remain very close to Thaecia (for example, a musical watch party event run by Andusre in 2021 drew high attendance from all three regions and is set to be repeated this year); similarly successful was Thaecia’s Late Nite Festival II, for which they organised the foreign affairs side;

Impressed by Andusre’s key role in drafting or negotiating all of Thaecia’s current treaties, i.e. those with The East Pacific (TEP), Europeia, The League, Balder, and The Communist Bloc (TCB), due to their many terms as a Senior Diplomat, spreading harmony throughout the multiverse;

Just merge these into one clause.

Maowi wrote:Acclaiming Andusre’s influential part in building Thaecia’s military from the ground up, as Secretary of Defense for six months, elevating it from a group of just a few nations to one of NationStates’ largest forces; they developed and articulated the region’s military ideology, and their work shone a limelight on the great prosperity that an unaligned military can bring to a region, both by fostering internal activity but also as a crucial means of strengthening ties between Thaecia and regions all over the military spectrum - this is exemplified by the strength of Thaecia’s relationship with TEP and Europeia, both of which are similar to Thaecia in military ideology; with 10000 Islands, The Rejected Realms, and The League, which have defender militaries; and with TCB, whose military is dedicated to raiding right-wing regions and defending its allies and fellow leftist regions;

This... what

Complete rework since this is so messy:
Acclaiming Andusre’s influential part in building Thaecia’s military from the ground up, which under Andusre's leadership became one of the largest militaries in the multiverse, being key participants in a number of operations such as [examples], strengthening Thaecia's relationships with many regions accross the spectrum of military alignment such as TEP, Europeia, 10000 Islands, the Rejected Realms and The League, as well as developing the region's unaligned military ideology,


Maowi wrote:Rejoicing that Andusre championed Thaecian participation in the World Assembly, supporting new authors and advocating for the relevance of WA affairs, culminating in their election as President in November 2021; this has led to greater literacy in and awareness of the WA among Thaecians, and has boosted participation in regional debate and discussion of WA matters;

If possible, could you add examples of this? Though if not that's fine.

Maowi wrote:brought about the interregional censure of New Western Atlantic’s dangerous conduct in [resolution=SC#366]SC #366: Liberate New Western Atlantic[/resolution];

I'd advise removing this given how the occupation of NWA ended, though this isn't really a big deal and it's okay either way.
Last edited by Apatosaurus on Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:26 pm, edited 7 times in total.
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Quebecshire
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Postby Quebecshire » Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:22 pm

I disagree with a lot of Apatosaurus' suggestions. Simply being an "active and vibrant community" isn't unique nor commendable. Why Thaecia is unique and why the community Andy developed is commendable is what is relevant, so don't take out those specifics. The ending of the NWA occupation is irrelevant since the broader clause specifies that his relevance is the contribution to the SC via the "censure", Apato's complaint there would have more basis if Andy's role in the NWA ordeal was primarily military-based.

One thing Apato is kind of right on is that it wouldn't hurt to give more detail on the WA stuff.
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Maowi
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Postby Maowi » Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:32 pm

Yeah, I'd quite like to keep a lot of the detail that I've got in there, because my impression is that Andy's accomplishments lie to a great extent in his people skills, which isn't directly obvious from just stating the dry facts. However Apato I do very much take your point on clarity and I will try and work out how to improve that (and also see what details I can add to the WA clause).

Fachumonn wrote:Why isn't it nation-linked when you say andusre and only for regions? Like this: Commend Andusre. Otherwise full support


I think I have got the link to Andy's nation? I've put it in for the first mention of him and for the very final line.

I've written some GA stuff, a little bit of SC stuff, and I (sometimes) do things in Europeia!

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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:35 pm

Maowi wrote:Praising Andusre’s hard work in co-founding Thaecia in January 2019 alongside Xernon - within four months, they grew the region to a thriving population that has seldom dipped below 250 nations...

With a bit of assistance around March 2020, of course.
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The Democratic Nation of Unovia
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Postby The Democratic Nation of Unovia » Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:37 pm

Full support.
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Hulldom
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Postby Hulldom » Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:43 pm

Tinhampton wrote:
Maowi wrote:Praising Andusre’s hard work in co-founding Thaecia in January 2019 alongside Xernon - within four months, they grew the region to a thriving population that has seldom dipped below 250 nations...

With a bit of assistance around March 2020, of course.

The Drew Boom occurred…a year and change after Thaecia was founded, Tin.
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Postby Fachumonn » Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:55 pm

Maowi wrote:Yeah, I'd quite like to keep a lot of the detail that I've got in there, because my impression is that Andy's accomplishments lie to a great extent in his people skills, which isn't directly obvious from just stating the dry facts. However Apato I do very much take your point on clarity and I will try and work out how to improve that (and also see what details I can add to the WA clause).

Fachumonn wrote:Why isn't it nation-linked when you say andusre and only for regions? Like this: Commend Andusre. Otherwise full support


I think I have got the link to Andy's nation? I've put it in for the first mention of him and for the very final line.

Oh nvm. I was looking at the ones in between lol.

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Postby Varanius » Wed Mar 02, 2022 3:30 pm

I plan on leaving some more in-depth (*winks at the audience*) comments later. But for now, what I’m going to say is that founding a region and writing 3 WA resolutions doesn’t make you commendable, sorry.
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Postby Quebecshire » Wed Mar 02, 2022 3:44 pm

Varanius wrote:I plan on leaving some more in-depth (*winks at the audience*) comments later. But for now, what I’m going to say is that founding a region and writing 3 WA resolutions doesn’t make you commendable, sorry.

Founding a region that becomes one with incredibly in depth legal and government systems in large part to you, then building what is now one of (if not the most) prominent unaligned militaries in the game from nothing, and contributing to the global legislative body on the regular does make you commendable, actually.
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Postby Outer Sparta » Wed Mar 02, 2022 3:48 pm

Varanius wrote:I plan on leaving some more in-depth (*winks at the audience*) comments later. But for now, what I’m going to say is that founding a region and writing 3 WA resolutions doesn’t make you commendable, sorry.

Normally I would agree, but I think developing a region from the ground up with sophisticated government as well as their military is quite an accomplishment.
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Postby Big Bad Badger » Wed Mar 02, 2022 4:05 pm

Far too many memories of the candidate from NWA. No chance I can recommend this to anyone. Although their work and behavior has improved.
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Postby Honeydewistania » Wed Mar 02, 2022 4:14 pm

brought about the interregional censure of New Western Atlantic’s dangerous conduct in [resolution=SC#366]SC #366: Liberate New Western Atlantic[/resolution]; and
provided a summary both thoughtful and celebratory of a year in NationStates in ([resolution=SC#379]SC #379: Reflections On 2021[/resolution]).


Full support if these are permanently removed from the resolution, especially the first one


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Postby Tinhampton » Wed Mar 02, 2022 4:16 pm

Hulldom wrote:

The Drew Boom occurred…a year and change after Thaecia was founded, Tin.

Islonia's tag:wa recruitment spam has, and had, absolutely nothing to do with "The Drew Boom."
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Postby Minskiev » Wed Mar 02, 2022 4:19 pm

Full support. I think you should definitely consider Honeydew's suggestion (although I don't *necessarily* agree with it fully)
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Postby Hulldom » Wed Mar 02, 2022 4:37 pm

Tinhampton wrote:
Hulldom wrote:The Drew Boom occurred…a year and change after Thaecia was founded, Tin.

Islonia's tag:wa recruitment spam has, and had, absolutely nothing to do with "The Drew Boom."

Ahhhhh. I misunderstood what you meant there. Honestly forgot all about that. My mistake.
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Postby Quebecshire » Wed Mar 02, 2022 5:12 pm

Tinhampton wrote:
Maowi wrote:Praising Andusre’s hard work in co-founding Thaecia in January 2019 alongside Xernon - within four months, they grew the region to a thriving population that has seldom dipped below 250 nations...

With a bit of assistance around March 2020, of course.

I'm not really sure why you're using it as a snipe against Andy when you have yourself aligned with people/regions who did the same thing, and did it several months more recently than Thaecians did. Thaecia is an entirely reputable member of the global community and has been for some time now, take your shitty snipes based on recruitment misjudgment elsewhere. Judging a region eternally for having previous lapses in decorum on recruitment which they have clearly permanently corrected course on is really silly.

Thaecia has continued to grow since fixing recruitment. In fact, one could argue all of their above-250 count now has little to nothing to do with that boost since they dipped to 250 exactly in October 2020 and have seen the vast majority of their current growth in the time since September 2021.
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Postby Quebecshire » Wed Mar 02, 2022 5:19 pm

One big thing I think is really commendable about Andy is his networking ability and I'm really happy to see it reflected in this draft. I'm not talking about the cringey social gameplay meta, but his ability to really work with very different types of people ICly.

How many people can/have forge(d) fruitful and regularly-cooperative relationship with both hardline moralist regions and longtime/historical capital-I independent regions? I think it's pretty impressive. Not that the aforementioned groups are enemies (especially not in the current climate), but Thaecia has an extremely broad treaty network, and in doing so it hasn't had to forgo any allies in favor of others or anything like that. It's a really impressive FA apparatus and Andy has been a massive part in it.
Last edited by Quebecshire on Wed Mar 02, 2022 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Guess and Check » Wed Mar 02, 2022 5:43 pm

Overall I think this is a good draft. I do think it can use some work, but overall good start.

Just wanted to mention as an out-there comment that founding a such a notable region like Thaecia absolutely is commendable. Obviously, it takes painstaking work to help build a region to such heights. The Security Council has commended multitudes of regionalists primarily for working in Game Created Regions, I see no reason why it cannot do the same for someone who helped build an extensively developed region from the ground up.

Feedback:

Maowi wrote:
The Security Council,

Convinced that Andusre has acted as a force for positive change in NationStates, bringing their distinctive brand of independence to prominence with an invaluable effect on the cultural richness of the multiverse;
While this isnt a bad sentence, I don't think it really captures what the resolution is about which is arguably the most important thing the introductory clause does. Would suggest tailoring it to what the majority of the content focuses on -> Andy's work in Thaecia.

Praising Andusre’s hard work in co-founding Thaecia in January 2019 alongside Xernon - within four months, they grew the region to a thriving population that has seldom dipped below 250 nations, and established a unique regional identity characterised by its sophisticated executive government, bicameral legislature, and highly social atmosphere; Andusre’s focus on community has allowed Thaecia to sustain a flourishing political scene with activity levels that support its complex structure, which was essential in achieving the founders’ ideal of a robust, vibrant democracy;
Some suggestions to make this read better.

I think the phrasing is a bit weird - "they grew the region... and established a unique regional identity". I feel like when you're speaking of the regional identity, you need something explicitly saying that the identity belongs to the region. Reads a bit off, otherwise.

Celebrating Andusre’s authorship of Thaecia’s first ever Legislative Resolution, devising the body known as the Electoral Commission (EC) to run regional elections; despite the resolution’s later repeal, the EC has played an integral part in Thaecian politics ever since, bringing a great sense of excitement to every election, and its foundations remain essentially unchanged;
Would suggest cutting down on commas here as too many pauses makes the clause feel a bit chunky.

Applauding Andusre’s two terms as the region’s first prime minister, during which they created and solidified the structure that underpins Thaecia’s executive to this day - in particular, their government became a prototype for running a successful cultural program, drawing extremely impressive levels of participation from the citizenry and abroad; regular projects - including contests and Regional Message Board activities - proved vital in forming a tight regional community and kick-starting Thaecia’s presence on the interregional stage;
I would capitalize Prime Minister.

Also, the way this is structured doesn't sound right. Not sure what. I think attempting to use a semi-colon (near regular projects) instead of making a new sentence could be making the clause a bit confusing? Would recommend trying to avoid using a semicolon there, maybe.

I'm also not sure this clause does enough to show what Andy did as Prime Minister. Typically, one's role in a leadership role tends to be where a lot of notable work is done. If possible (ik you're probs a bit tight on characters), I'd recommend making a list and going more over what Andy did as PM that set up Thaecia.

Recognising that Andusre has become synonymous with Thaecia’s foreign affairs, as their personal and effective style of diplomacy forged strong bonds between Thaecia and a wide range of regions, socially bringing communities together in very real terms - during four months as the region’s Foreign Affairs Minister, Andusre negotiated the construction of embassies with 10000 Islands and The Rejected Realms, both of which remain very close to Thaecia (for example, a musical watch party event run by Andusre in 2021 drew high attendance from all three regions and is set to be repeated this year); similarly successful was Thaecia’s Late Nite Festival II, for which they organised the foreign affairs side;
I would suggest moving the cultural events to their own clause to make this easier to read & less long.

Impressed by Andusre’s key role in drafting or negotiating all of Thaecia’s current treaties, i.e. those with The East Pacific (TEP), Europeia, The League, Balder, and The Communist Bloc (TCB), due to their many terms as a Senior Diplomat, spreading harmony throughout the multiverse;
I would say "through" than "due to", as due to indicates Andy only helped write those treaties as they were SD and otherwise wouldn't have helped at all (which by Thaecian executive structure may be the case, idk, but it still detracts from Andy's work in these treaty negotiations with the current wording).

Acclaiming Andusre’s influential part in building Thaecia’s military from the ground up, as Secretary of Defense for six months, elevating it from a group of just a few nations to one of NationStates’ largest forces; they developed and articulated the region’s military ideology, and their work shone a limelight on the great prosperity that an unaligned military can bring to a region, both by fostering internal activity but also as a crucial means of strengthening ties between Thaecia and regions all over the military spectrum - this is exemplified by the strength of Thaecia’s relationship with TEP and Europeia, both of which are similar to Thaecia in military ideology; with 10000 Islands, The Rejected Realms, and The League, which have defender militaries; and with TCB, whose military is dedicated to raiding right-wing regions and defending its allies and fellow leftist regions;
I don't really agree with Apato's rewrite itself, but I do agree this clause can be reworked to be simpler. As it is, it's too long and reads a bit clunky (especially after the semi-colon).

One thing I would do is use less examples and say something like "unaligned regions like TEP and Europeia, defender regions like 10000 Islands and the League, and regions like TCB who raid right-wing regions." or something like that.



Rejoicing that Andusre championed Thaecian participation in the World Assembly, supporting new authors and advocating for the relevance of WA affairs, culminating in their election as President in November 2021; this has led to greater literacy in and awareness of the WA among Thaecians, and has boosted participation in regional debate and discussion of WA matters;
Would elaborate more on what Andy did as President here.
Last edited by Guess and Check on Wed Mar 02, 2022 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Maowi » Thu Mar 03, 2022 12:16 pm

Thanks very much for your detailed feedback, Zuk :> I've tried to implement everything you've suggested, I hope I've done that effectively. The one exception is the clause towards the end about Andy's time as president, which I need to find more details about and I'll update that once I have done that.

The other thing I'm considering still is the clause on Andy's SC authorships - I've left them in for now but I intend to give that some more thought.

Varanius wrote:I plan on leaving some more in-depth (*winks at the audience*) comments later. But for now, what I’m going to say is that founding a region and writing 3 WA resolutions doesn’t make you commendable, sorry.

I'd have to disagree with you there :) founding any random region isn't necessarily worthy of SC recognition, but Andy's impact on GP as an individual and through his extremely hard work in Thaecia is in a different category. Looking forward to hearing your feedback though!

I also just wanted to address some of Apato's comments to hopefully provide some more clarity -

Apatosaurus wrote:The rest of the material (recruitment, creating the government structure, etc.) just put it into another clause, particularly since a lot of it you already detail elsewhere.

The government structure stuff mentioned in the "praising" clause was actually not intended to be the same as that referred to in the "applauding" clause. In the former it's the creation of the overall structure consisting of bicameral legislature, executive branch, and judicial branch; in the latter it's specifically the way the executive government itself is organised. I've tried to make that a bit clearer in the updated draft.

Just merge these into one clause.

The main FA clause and the treaties clause were indeed one single clause before, but it was really quite confusing to read in that form and in fact following Zuk's advice I've ended up splitting the FA clause in two now, which I think does help readability.

Complete rework since this is so messy:
Acclaiming Andusre’s influential part in building Thaecia’s military from the ground up, which under Andusre's leadership became one of the largest militaries in the multiverse, being key participants in a number of operations such as [examples], strengthening Thaecia's relationships with many regions accross the spectrum of military alignment such as TEP, Europeia, 10000 Islands, the Rejected Realms and The League, as well as developing the region's unaligned military ideology,

I didn't use your exact rework but I hope this clause is clearer to read now?

I've written some GA stuff, a little bit of SC stuff, and I (sometimes) do things in Europeia!

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Postby Apatosaurus » Thu Mar 03, 2022 1:01 pm

Maowi wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote:The rest of the material (recruitment, creating the government structure, etc.) just put it into another clause, particularly since a lot of it you already detail elsewhere.

The government structure stuff mentioned in the "praising" clause was actually not intended to be the same as that referred to in the "applauding" clause. In the former it's the creation of the overall structure consisting of bicameral legislature, executive branch, and judicial branch; in the latter it's specifically the way the executive government itself is organised. I've tried to make that a bit clearer in the updated draft.

Fair enough, looks good!

Maowi wrote:
Complete rework since this is so messy:

I didn't use your exact rework but I hope this clause is clearer to read now?

I think it's still a bit too verbose/messy, but it's vastly improved from before :p
Last edited by Apatosaurus on Thu Mar 03, 2022 1:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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