Declaration On The Existence Of Santa Claus
The Security Council,
Defining, for the purposes of this declaration, Santa Claus as a jolly man with eyes that twinkle and dimples how merry. His cheeks are like roses, and his nose like a cherry. With a droll little mouth drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin is as white as the snow. He has a broad face, and a little round belly, that shakes when he laughs, like a bowl full of jelly. He is also known as Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, and Papa Noel.
Affirming the countless and often concurrent appearances of Santa Claus at various shopping malls, street corners, and toy stores around the month of December, proving his ability to be in many places at once. This is an ability which he also uses over the night of Christmas Eve itself in order to accomplish his mission of delivering presents and generally spreading Christmas cheer.
Stating that although not every nation represented in the WA Security Council celebrates the holiday of Christmas, those that do are so innumerable as to that it would be physically impossible for any other single being, or even group of people besides Santa Claus to deliver presents to the children of every nation in one night, as well as the eating of the cookies and milk left out at every home.
Noting that observers in many various nations have seen Santa Claus on numerous occasions. This occurs so much so that it's considered a common issue for the governments of many Christmas-themed nations to decide on how to react to his appearances throughout the month of December.
Recognizing the existence of various nations whose very names directly allude to the existence of Santa Claus, such as -Santa-, North Pole Santas, Jolly Ole Saint Nick, and Secret Santa Claus.
Observing the fact that many nations may be under threat of being put under the dreaded “Naughty List” for the continual denial of Santa Claus’s existence, and this official affirmation from the Security Council will help to abate that serious threat to every nation’s national security.
Hereby affirms the existence of Santa Claus as an unquestionable fact.
