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[ABANDONED] Too Much Currency For One?

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Polomon Islands
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Left-Leaning College State

[ABANDONED] Too Much Currency For One?

Postby Polomon Islands » Sat Nov 27, 2021 7:12 am

Title: Too Much @@CURRENCY@@ For one?
[Validity]: Nations with Prisons
[Description]: After a long day of printing @@CURRENCY@@, someone with a large Santa bag stole all the money from the @@NAME@@'s government

[Option 1]: "I demand we find him or her and put them into prison!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a long time worker for a shop known as Worst Buy. "Why the prison?", says @@RANDOMNAME@@. "They took the money from us and we deserve it! We all do!" @@RANDOMNAME@@, a general for the @@NAME@@ army, says they will manhunt whoever steals their @@CURRENCY@@.
[effect]: people who now take a single @@CURRENCY@@ will face 10 years in prison
[Validity]: Nations with prisons

[Option 2]: "Dont worry! We can just make more money and it wont be stolen!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a government official.
"Printing money would cause inflation right? We need to face the facts here." responds @@RANDOMNAME@@, a long time economist for @@NAME@@. "No." he reply's. "We dont need to hunt the person who stole our money! We can just print even more! See, no problem here!" he reply's.
[effect]: The government now prints loads of money for each @@CURRENCY@@ stolen
[Validity]: All

Title: Too Much @@CURRENCY@@ For @@LEADER@@?
[Validity]: All
[Description]: After a long day of printing @@CURRENCY@@, @@LEADER@@ decides to take it all and not share with the people.

[Option 1]: "I demand we take him and put him into prison!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a long time worker for a shop known as Worst Buy.
"Why the prison?", says @@LEADER@@. "You took the money from us and we deserve it! We all do!" @@LEADER@@ looks in sadness as they are thrown into bars.
[effect]: people who now take a single @@CURRENCY@@ will face 10 years in prison

[Option 2]: "Well, if he gonna give away his money just ignore him!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a cowboy in downtown. "Make new laws that say if you give money to someone you gonna be shamed and ignored!" @@LEADER@@ receives a paper that will implement the law into @@NAME@@
[effect]: people who give away their money are often given the death penalty.
[Validity]: Nations with Capitol Punishment


Title: Too Much @@CURRENCY@@ For one?
[Validity]: Nations with Prisons
[Description]: After a long day of printing @@CURRENCY@@, someone with a large Santa bag stole all the money from the @@NAME@@'s government

[Option 1]: "I demand we find him or her and put them into prison!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a long time worker for a shop known as Worst Buy. "Why the prison?", says @@RANDOMNAME@@. "They took the money from us and we deserve it! We all do!" @@RANDOMNAME@@, a general for the @@NAME@@ army, says they will manhunt whoever steals their @@CURRENCY@@.
[effect]: people who now take a single @@CURRENCY@@ will face 10 years in prison
[Validity]: Nations with prisons

[Option 2]: "Dont worry! We can just make more money and it wont be stolen!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a government official.
"Printing money would cause inflation right? We need to face the facts here." responds @@RANDOMNAME@@, a long time economist for @@NAME@@. "No." he reply's. "We dont need to hunt the person who stole our money! We can just print even more! See, no problem here!" he reply's.
[effect]: The government now prints loads of money for each @@CURRENCY@@ stolen
[Validity]: All
Last edited by Polomon Islands on Wed Dec 01, 2021 10:28 am, edited 5 times in total.
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Polomon Islands
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Founded: Oct 06, 2021
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Polomon Islands » Sat Nov 27, 2021 9:24 am

Polomon Islands wrote:Title: Too Much @@CURRENCY@@ For @@LEADER@@?
[Validity]: All
[Description]: After a long day of printing @@CURRENCY@@, @@LEADER@@ decides to take it all and not share with the people.

[Option 1]: "I demand we take him and put him into prison!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a long time worker for a shop known as Worst Buy.
"Why the prison?", says @@LEADER@@. "You took the money from us and we deserve it! We all do!" @@LEADER@@ looks in sadness as they are thrown into bars.
[effect]: people who now take a single @@CURRENCY@@ will face 10 years in prison

[Option 2]: "Well, if he gonna give away his money just ignore him!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a cowboy in downtown. "Make new laws that say if you give money to someone you gonna be shamed and ignored!" @@LEADER@@ receives a paper that will implement the law into @@NAME@@
[effect]: people who give away their money are often given the death penalty.
[Validity]: Nations with Capitol Punishment

Isnt this like the GA?
Reply's come in waves or not?
Former Delegate for TOUN.
Former Vice-Delegate of TFUU.
Friends With Papal States 2 and Wolomon Islands and Formerly Dungtoper

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The Free Joy State
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Posts: 15221
Founded: Jan 05, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby The Free Joy State » Sat Nov 27, 2021 9:54 am

Two hours is way too soon to bump a draft in Got Issues [/notamod].

Feedback does not arrive instantly with Got Issues. It can arrive days later, or not at all (if those who look at your draft have nothing they want to say). Got Issues is a slower moving forum and writing issues is a slow process, a process of listening to feedback and working on a draft over weeks and months to prepare it for submission. People who offer feedback are all giving up their time, and they may not have time to look at every draft.

Now, I will move onto the draft... it doesn't work.

It is a major player autonomy issue. In issues, the player answers as @@LEADER@@. You cannot tell the player that they, as their leader, decided to keep all the money for themselves. Issues involve the player, as their leader, looking at an issue -- one that a leader would respond to -- and deciding how their leader will answer it.

Also, even if the issue didn't have a major player autonomy issue, the second option does not respond to the question. It doesn't respond to what would happen if a leader kept all the money to themselves.

This is a good structure to keep in mind, should you go on to work on another issue: a central issue that is of interest to, and would be responded to by, the leader of a nation. And then three options, usually one for, one against and a crazy option (all of which respond to the question).

I suggest you check out this guide to writing issues for more information.
Last edited by The Free Joy State on Sat Nov 27, 2021 10:03 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Rick Perry
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Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Rick Perry » Sat Nov 27, 2021 12:35 pm

I support this

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Kors
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Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Kors » Sat Nov 27, 2021 12:54 pm

Put you instead of @@LEADER@@, since you are the first person protagonist of every issue.
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Polomon Islands
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Polomon Islands » Sat Nov 27, 2021 12:56 pm

Kors wrote:Put you instead of @@LEADER@@, since you are the first person protagonist of every issue.

Yeah. Im going to update it now.
Former Delegate for TOUN.
Former Vice-Delegate of TFUU.
Friends With Papal States 2 and Wolomon Islands and Formerly Dungtoper

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Polomon Islands
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Founded: Oct 06, 2021
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Polomon Islands » Mon Nov 29, 2021 5:40 pm

So after my update, you can deal with it and print more money, or you can do a manhunt and retrieve the money.
Former Delegate for TOUN.
Former Vice-Delegate of TFUU.
Friends With Papal States 2 and Wolomon Islands and Formerly Dungtoper

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Umbratellus
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Postby Umbratellus » Wed Dec 01, 2021 8:44 am

Do you realize that your validities as they presently stand would give a single option besides dismissing for nation's without prisons? Typically when having validity requirements like that the standard procedure is to write alternative dialogues with relevant changes. For instance, swapping prison out with "community service" or "rehabilitation center." An issue with only one option is extremely rare and iirc the only one that presently exists on NationStates is the end of the Diamonds are an Expat's Best Friend event chain when you choose the nuclear option.

Why have the options conveyed as dialogue between random individuals instead of just one person at a time? It only serves to make each option more confusing and less clear about what the intended effects are. Are there two or three people conversing in the first option? I genuinely cannot tell. Why would somebody be confused about putting a burglar who robbed a national mint/reserve in jail? Are you implying it is not standard procedure to put criminals in jail in nations that have prisons? Why would your army generals be handling a burglary and not somebody like your chief of police, head of an investigative agency, etc? Such a state of affairs would be entirely out of line for any nation but those that have abolished civilian police and replaced them with military police. Why at the end of the first option do you switch to a third person account of the general's dialogue instead of just having him say it? For the second option, reply's isn't used correctly, you're looking for "replies."

I'd suggest discarding your current draft and starting by creating a more concrete outline of what you want the issue to accomplish. As it stands its confusing and frankly doesn't make any sense.


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