How do dating and marriage work in your world?

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How do dating and marriage work in your world?

Postby Nioya » Wed Nov 03, 2021 9:35 pm

I'm interested in this topic so I think it would be interesting to discuss. How does courtship work in your world? Do men and women date? What are some common places people go for dates? How long do people court each other before marriage? What is marriage like? What are some common marriage traditions?
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Soviet Socialist Kazakhstan
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Postby Soviet Socialist Kazakhstan » Thu Nov 04, 2021 2:50 pm

Traditionally, village elders, parents, and imams arrange marriages, but these days, the Party increasingly has more to do with it. The Communist Party of Kazakhstan, of course. Traditional marriage is just more capitalist nonsense, after all. Far better to choose good fraternal socialist comrades as husbands and wives to share the burdens of advancing the cause of the international proletarian socialist revolution.
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Soviet Socialist Kazakhstan
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Postby Soviet Socialist Kazakhstan » Thu Nov 04, 2021 2:54 pm

Utquiagvik wrote:only marriage to cousins or other relatives are legal.

So, your people can be identified by their birth defects? No teeth, webbed feet, that kind of thing?
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Postby Jacrain » Thu Nov 04, 2021 3:01 pm

There forums people fill out, providing some information about them (their background, interests, temperament, etc), and they are presented with compatible matches based on the information they filled out. Then if the two parties are interested, they court, date, etc. If they find themselves in love with each other, they get engaged, introduce each other to their families, and when they get married, a huge festival takes place, and the husband moves into the family condo of the wife, and they get their own place of residence there.
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Astares Amauricanum
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Postby Astares Amauricanum » Thu Nov 04, 2021 3:01 pm

Arranged marriages were more common in the past, but nowadays are pretty much nonexistent.
By law, you can not marry a relative who is related to you up to the 3rd degree of relationship.
Same sex relationships are authorized.
People go on dates in various places: cinemas, bars, restaurants, or just enjoy time with each other anywhere they enjoy.
In average, people marry after at least 3 years of relationship.

During the marriage ceremony, the bride and groom will stand in front of the Freyja (our deity of Love) priest in a circle of Silver Eagle Feathers.
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Stellar Colonies
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Postby Stellar Colonies » Thu Nov 04, 2021 3:04 pm

Exact customs vary based on region, with some areas not really recognizing marriage at all as a specific institution, but whenever it does exist, it has generally shifted away from being officiated by religious least of pre-spaceflight ones.

Dating is even looser.

Two-person relationships tend to be the norm, with non-heterosexual couples usually adopting that tradition from the 50/50 binary of male/female ones, with the next most common system being trinary arrangements. Looser group arrangements are also somewhat present in some areas, although the latter is almost exclusively to confined areas with small populations.
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Utquiagvik wrote:only marriage to cousins or other relatives are legal.

So, your people can be identified by their birth defects? No teeth, webbed feet, that kind of thing?

Possibly some strong chins as well.
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New Tryphalia
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Postby New Tryphalia » Thu Nov 04, 2021 11:34 pm

Marriage is illegal in New Tryphalia, but people can date and/or cohabitate if they so wish and often do. Though admittedly, "going Dutch" is more or less compulsory for the dating scene these days, especially since the recent ban on "foodie dating," that is people going on dates just to get a free meal.
Last edited by New Tryphalia on Thu Nov 04, 2021 11:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Shaleisle » Fri Nov 05, 2021 5:08 am

There's not really any such thing as dating here in Shaleisle as people very rarely pair off. Intimate activities are commonplace between friends and monogamy is an alien concept.

Marriage does not exist. It's not outlawed as such; just something we don't have. People can engage in wedding ceremonies for fun if they want to but these have no legal standing.

In spite of all that, Shaliens don't actually have much sex. There are government initiatives to encourage them to, but that's for another thread.
Last edited by Shaleisle on Fri Nov 05, 2021 5:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Russiania » Fri Nov 05, 2021 5:17 am

At the age of 18 all Russianian Citizens turn in a marriage form describing who they are and what they want. The Russianian Government then will pair together likely couples. Also they aren’t allowed to divorce (cause how could the government ever be wrong?) If theses couples want children they must then apply for a parenting license.

In short everything is arranged by the government.
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The Grob
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Postby The Grob » Fri Nov 05, 2021 7:36 am

We don't have 'marriage' in the traditional sense- not like in the human way. Obviously, since concepts of gender being tied to sex have been eliminated due to genetic modification and the incapability for citizens to actually impregnate each-other, the idea of "male" or "female" doesn't exist, and as a result traditional ideals of sexuality or gender identity don't exist.
So, technically, we are actually fairly LGBTQ friendly- but only so because we need more workers. To put the talent and potential labor of a citizen to waste because of something as petty as their private lives would be a detriment to our economy. So, in other words- we do support same sex marriage and all of that, if "male and female" even existed in our society, that is.
Anyways, as for marriage and dating- our citizens can surely feel love, it's just a matter of fact that they would personally rather just declare themself 'together' themselves than have a full ceremony for it, since hosting weddings and wasting precious work credits on gowns and jewelry is considered selfish. We don't outlaw any sort of marital relationship, except on the issue of child marriage, marriage to an animal, or marriage to an alien.
Last edited by The Grob on Fri Nov 05, 2021 7:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Leat Fingies
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Postby Leat Fingies » Fri Nov 05, 2021 7:39 am

Neither exist. "Marriage" is a government-funded program where certain citizens are paired with one another for the betterment of Leat Fingies as a whole. Breeding programs to make our citizens as perfect as possible.
Any citizens with genetics deemed less-than-adequate are executed, and all children with deformities are to be cast into the Pit.
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Alkhilafa Rasullalah
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Postby Alkhilafa Rasullalah » Fri Nov 05, 2021 10:14 am

Do men and women date?:
Yes andthe gentleman usually pays for the meal (though a chaperone is usually present).

What are some common places people go for dates?: restaurants.

How long do people court each other before marriage?:
Usually from teenage years to the end of education.
Usually in the upper-class, it’s early twenties.

What is marriage like?:
Men are expected to protect, and provide for, their wives whilst women are expected obey their husbands. Both spouses have a role in raising children (which couples usually have).

What are some common marriage traditions?:
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The Land of the Ephyral
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Postby The Land of the Ephyral » Fri Nov 05, 2021 2:10 pm



Dating, the period of prolonged courtship that may precede a marriage or permanent relationship, or otherwise constitute the substitute for one, is not practiced by the Ephyral. In accordance with local tradition, marriages are arranged by the family, and social mores prohibit unrelated men and women being in contact, especially alone. Any attempt at dating would be perceived as compromising the honour of the female, whose chastity is ensured in part by her seclusion from men.

Marriages in the Ephyral city-states are arranged based on familial interest. By the law of these city-states, it is the male head of the family who has the prerogative to arrange marriages and approve of matches proposed to him. In practice however, it is typically the father of the bride who vets suitors, and is given the authority and responsibility to arrange the marriages of his daughters. Sons, by contrast, are encouraged to independently seek wives, presenting themselves to the fathers of eligible women in order to demonstrate their self-sufficiency and initiative. Marriages are contracts of alliance between the father and the suitor, with the woman exchanged, passing from the former to the latter, in order to seal this alliance. In essence, there is a notional sale of the woman, with a negotiated bride price and dowry involved in order to legalise the contract.

Marriage in Ephyra must be understood within the context of its patriarchal culture. Women and girls are, although distinct from the legal sense of property such as slaves, nevertheless owned by men. In Ephyra, man is considered superior to woman, and the natural master over her. In contrast, woman is seen as subject, and designed to serve men, and dependent upon them. This dependency is rooted in part in the observation of female physical weakness compared to men, as well as the widespread belief in female impulsiveness, childishness, and general stupidity. The social rights and protections afforded to Ephyral women distinguish them immeasurably from mere slaves, but they respond to and address their fathers and husbands as their masters.

Marriage then is no equal relationship, but a hierarchical one in which a man comes into possession of a woman, and a woman becomes the possession of a new master. Where the man shoulders the economic burdens of the family, and assumes a responsibility for her behaviour and status, expected to provide for, protect her, and control her for her own good, women behave with deference and reverence towards their husbands, and are expected to obey them. This obedience is assumed to the extent that, as with children, the laws of most Ephyral city-states do not find a woman responsible for any criminal act committed at the command of her husband, as it is understood by the Ephyral that due to her natural shyness and submissiveness, a woman will typically obey criminal commands.

The requirements for marriage for each sex are likewise different. Girls, who are thought to physically mature at a faster rate than boys, are marriageable in most city-states from 13 or from menarche. Boys are marriageable from 15. In practice however, whilst young women are not infrequently married in their teens, men marry later, often in their mid-to-late 20s. Men are expected to prove themselves as worthy allies to their prospective father-in-laws, having something to offer and contribute. This requires command of certain resources, and a cultivated status, meaning that older men are more likely to marry than younger, inexperienced men who have made no name for themselves. By contrast, women are only required to exist to be marriageable. Virginity is prized, as is skill in domestic activity. The age gap in Ephyra between spouses can be negligible in some cases, and even in a few cases, see a bride older than her groom, though this is unusual. Typically however a husband is older than his wife by several, potentially many years.

Once a marriage is arranged, a ceremony is performed before witnesses at the house of the bride's father. At this ceremony and feast, the joining of the families is marked by the rare mixing of the sexes, although the women of each house remain cloaked and veiled. The men eat first, and are served food by women of the other family. Notably, the groom is served by his bride, to familiarise her with becoming her husband's helpmeet. Once the men are done, the women eat. After the feast, the groom leaves the premises to don ceremonial arms and armour, and returns with friends similarly attired in order to carry out an 'abduction' of the bride. Per Ephyral culture and folklore, a real man takes a wife by force, as a showing of masculinity. A show is made of suppressing the men of the bride's family as the groom binds her wrists and leads her away to a chariot, which is driven off. The groom's family escorts it triumphantly, whilst the bride's family engage in a mock pursuit. At the house of the groom, the bride is accepted into the family as her husband's prize, and the couple retire to the bridal chamber to consummate the marriage.

The wife's primary role in marriage is to bear sons for her husband so that his line and property continues, as does the cult to the dead once he is deceased. Sex is therefore a core element of marriage, and in contrast to the severe prohibition on male contact enforced upon women, and the restrictions on female partners placed upon men, marital sex is encouraged. Women are thought to be more sexually minded than men, and require it more from a physical basis. It is therefore seen as the duty of a man to regularly copulate with his wife, in order to keep her healthy and faithful. Marital sex is also expected to help build affection between the spouses. Her further duties to her husband are domestic management, which she will engage in with other women of the family. The men of the family provide income for their wives to utilise, and uphold their masculine duty to protect and control women.

Marriage is considered a central and necessary part of life for men and women, obligatory for men in particular, who must carry on their family line.

Last edited by The Land of the Ephyral on Fri Dec 03, 2021 8:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Dyverde » Sun Nov 07, 2021 9:13 am

Dating is more-or-less nonexistent in the Republic. Marriages are arranged by the extended families of the bride & groom, who often will not even meet before the official engagement ceremonies. A period of seven years will elapse while the couple are engaged, unless they choose to discontinue their relationship early. They live together and get used to one another, ensuring that they are actually compatible as a couple. After this time the couple will get married unless either party has any objections, with a typical marriage contract lasting for one hundred years. Only married couples will ever choose to have children, usually at a rate of 2-3 per woman per century. Divorce is illegal, though separation after the end of a marriage contract is a common and accepted practice (even encouraged in some communities). Break clauses and other technicalities are often written into these marriage contracts, as well as pre-agreed compensation packages should either party break the contract early.

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Postby Vallermoore » Sun Nov 07, 2021 11:05 am

Humans, sapient ponies and changelings use dating sites online quite often. With sapient ponies, the right kind of cutie mark can attract someone in itself, and many people want changeling boyfriends or girlfriends as a changeling can be your fantasy person for you. Forced weddings are banned, but the families have quite a big informal say in things. Inter-species dating is quite common but inter racial dating is still pretty rare, even though the amount of racism in Vallermoorian society is rapidly dropping. Most white humans would rather have their son or daughter dating a sapient pony or a changeling then a black human.

Divorce is discouraged but is OK if the person is violent, cheats, gets jailed for more then a month, gets seriously ill and cannot be cured, goes insane, or is constantly unpleasant to their husband or wife. Unless there is a pre-nup, each person gets what they had on the wedding day and no more-or less-then that if there is a divorce.

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Postby Sykola » Sun Nov 07, 2021 11:22 am

As aeshari do not reproduce sexually, marriage doesn't really exist. Some aeshari do form long-term romantic relationships, but there is no official status under Sykolan law or custom.

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Postby Rocotollia » Sun Nov 07, 2021 9:00 pm

Dating is seen as a regular thing, people can pick and choose who they would like to date and the same goes for marriage. Although, divorce is very looked down upon. The typical age that people settle down and get married are between the ages of 27-30.

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Postby Republic Of Ludwigsburg » Sun Nov 07, 2021 9:12 pm

Most dating apps are banned in Ludwigsburg due to "suspicious illegal material and defamation". The government encourages people to be connected through real life, not the internet so much.
Marriage is mostly prevalent and the average marriage age is 27. A cultural tradition is to play the pipe organ during weddings. Popular songs that are widely used are Handel's Allemande and Sarabande, Pachelbel's Canon in D, and Elgar's Nimrod. The government bans pop songs during weddings as they see it as "sacreligious to the classical music tradition".
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A m e n r i a
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Postby A m e n r i a » Tue Nov 09, 2021 11:05 pm

People generally date people they meet in their daily lives, such as classmates and colleagues. However, the government-sponsored genetics program includes a special dating app to find people with positive traits that the user lacks, and negative traits that the user lacks, allowing for children with the best of both worlds. For example, an asthmatic woman with pale skin would be paired with a dark-skinned swimmer, singer, or just a man with naturally strong lungs, in hopes that the child would inherit her skin colour and his lungs.

As for marriages, tradition varies by region, but it's widely accepted that the mine provides housing, while the woman provides appliances. While both parents are expected to at least be present in the wedding if alive, weddings without parental approval have been more accepted by the public nowadays than in the days of the People's Republic.

Gender roles after marriage is more about the roles themselves than the gender of the person. One parent stays home with the children, another goes to work and earn for the family. While in most cases the man serves the latter role for physiological reasons, it doesn't really matter which parent does what as long as both roles are filled properly.
Last edited by A m e n r i a on Tue Nov 09, 2021 11:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Wizlandia » Mon Nov 22, 2021 1:59 pm

Nioya wrote:I'm interested in this topic so I think it would be interesting to discuss. How does courtship work in your world? Do men and women date? What are some common places people go for dates? How long do people court each other before marriage? What is marriage like? What are some common marriage traditions?

Wizlandia has a very liberal culture, so dating, sex-before-marriage, non-marital relationships, and even hook-up culture are the norm. There are no elaborate courtship rituals, and its very common for people to date neighbours and co-workers. However, marriages with large age gaps are much less common, and arranged marriages are extremely uncommon.

Common places people go on dates include movies, theme parks, and restaurants/cafes, though sports games are somewhat less common as sporting events tend to be very loud/intense affairs. Compared to most countries people tend to marry late (typically mid thirties), and on average people tend to stay in a relationship 4-6 years before marriage. It is common for people to never marry.

Divorce is easy and pretty common, which alarms many more conservative citizens, and dual custody is common. Marriage traditions very wildly due to the large amounts of ethnic and religious diversity in the country.
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Postby Tangatarehua » Mon Nov 22, 2021 8:31 pm

Dating pretty much works the same way as in the west - two people meet, decide they like each other and start spending time with each other doing things like eating in the same room or mating. After a while they may or may not decide they love each other and only want to exclusively mate with said partner.

Marriage is a far more complicated issue, and it's look more and more likely that the government plans to abolish it entirely as it's seen as simultaneously "none of the government's business" and "an imposition of western values on the country".

For the upper classes it's a little more serious - marriages tend to be arranged, although polygamy is pretty common for both partners. Given that arranged marriage has fallen out of favour in recent years... the whole concept is once again looking shaky.

Currently the nation does not recognise gay marriage, although this will soon change given the recent election - however, this debate has given rise to the widely held view that the whole idea of marriage is simply incompatible with modern Tangatarehua and its culture.
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United cacti of Estaban
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Postby United cacti of Estaban » Sat Dec 04, 2021 12:23 pm

Dating in the UCE is quite informal, with most relationships being little more than a small agreement that both parties are dating. People most of the time will go to cafes, beaches, and outdoor activities. Marriage is usually talked about after about 5 years of somewhat dedicated commitment, and most people just figure it out through a series of conversations, rather than an elaborate proposal. Weddings are similarly low-key generally just being a gathering of good friends and family in a pretty place. There really isn't much ceremony involved.
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New Ulsan
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Postby New Ulsan » Sat Dec 04, 2021 12:30 pm

New Ulsanians date and commit to marriage like in the real world. Difference is, people don't use dating apps, as they see them as looking for books in showcases and creators of somewhat artificial relations.
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Pridelantic people
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Postby Pridelantic people » Mon Dec 06, 2021 2:03 pm

How does courtship work in your world?
Do men and women date? Yes but depends a host of factors
What are some common places people go for dates?
How long do people court each other before marriage?

What is marriage like?
Arranged among both extended families with potential partners approval, between families, clans, tribes based on the relationship of the potential partners.
What are some common marriage traditions?
Last edited by Pridelantic people on Mon Dec 06, 2021 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Tsu Shima
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Postby Tsu Shima » Mon Dec 06, 2021 8:26 pm

We are a society of highly-feared Buddhist Shaolin monks, which prevent people from marrying completely. Both male and female Tsu Shimans are castrated at a young age and stay eunuchs for the rest of their lives. We use specially-made vat/cloning technology to birth children, and assigned to a couple of a man and a woman, however both usually do not romanticize with each other.



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