Savings Made Simple - An American Retail RP (IC)

[WonderMart]

IC | OOC | Discord



Theme

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Monday, November 8th, 2021 - 6:00 AM

"Well good morning Plainview, you're listening to WKCL 101.1 and it looks like it’s going to be another cold and sunny Monday morning with a high around 55 downtown, low grade fog advisories throughout the AM. It’s now 6:00 AM, and the morning commute is just getting it’s hop on, so stick around as we bring you the latest in news, weather, and tunes on this beautiful November morning."

The electric hum of central air can be heard inside an otherwise subtle, unexceptionally decorated office as a wall clock ticks quietly. The carpet is immaculate, the furniture is conservative, and the managerial accolades and unpretentious motivational artwork that adorn the walls are borderline forgettable. Outside, there is a long, wide corridor decorated with corporate safety posters and bulletin boards. In the office, a large L-shaped desk sits in the corner, anchored by a desktop computer, and paperwork. Affixed to the door is a nameplate reading “Carl Kirkman - General Manager."

A six-foot tall, thirty-three-year-old man with jet black hair and a neatly trimmed beard walks down the hallway, slips his key into the door, and enters the deserted room. He is Carl Kirkman. Dressed in what appears to be a strange fusion between the fashionable zeal of a Men’s Warehouse catalogue and the practical mobility of a high school principal, he’s wearing a navy blue track jacket paired with dress pants and wingtip boots. His appearance is neat, professional, his badge hanging around his neck securely. He looks intense to say the least.

Setting his laptop bag on the desk, he opens the venetian blinds, revealing a wide, one-way view of the salesfloor. Looking up at the ceiling, he stares for a moment at the vast sky of acoustic ceiling tiles and fluorescent light fixtures, almost mesmerized. We’re in a WonderMart, a national chain of “big-box” retailers selling everything from frozen food to trampolines to discounted designer handbags. Although it’s a giant store, the lighting is cool, the decor is sleek and modern.

With a tired yawn, he puts two spoonfuls of instant coffee in a mug then fills it with hot water from the kettle behind his desk. He sits down at his desk, turning on his computer to check his emails and print the daily metrics. He scrolls between messages in his inbox, glancing at regional directives, and archiving everything else to read later. He pauses when he notices a message marked as urgent in the subject line, and sighs when he reads who the sender is. Claudia Olander...regional manager, and as far as Carl is concerned, regional headache.

To: "Carl Kirkman" <c.kirkman704@wondermart.com>
CC: Store #1309 Management
From: "Claudia Olander"
Subject: Overtime Requests

Carl,

As we proceed further into the fourth quarter, an increase in employee demands both in terms of hours and coverage are inevitable. While we're pleased with the entire region's performance this year, adequate CPV scores depend on continued efficiency when it comes to employee resources.

I'm asking you to handle it. Just because Christmas is approaching doesn't mean we're in the position to hand out excessive hours.

Keep overtime to an absolute minimum except for your inbound team leads. Oh, and I will be following up.

Regards,

Claudia Olander

Regional Manager (West Central Indiana - Region 76)

He goes into his cabinet and grabs a binder filled with spreadsheets and colored tabs including a sheet which mentions pre-holiday merchandising expectations for the week; he studies it briefly, before highlighting the pertinents and setting it aside. He checks his watch.

Reaching for the intercom, he doesn't bother faking a smile, and presses the push-to-talk button, releasing a chime through the store’s PA system. His tone is straightforward, and energetic. He can already feel that this is going to be a tiring shift.

“Well good morning Store #1309. Look, we’ve got a big day ahead of us, so I won't bother wasting anyone's time, but before we get started, let’s get everyone down to the service desk for a quick staff meeting. There are some pertinents we need to discuss, but I'll keep it short. See everyone out there.”

Turning off the intercom, he grabbed his clipboard and headed for the front of the store. It was time to get the day rolling.

[Phoenxia]

Purdue University
Alex Lindemann

Alex woke up groggily, not remembering a single event of his wild Sunday night of party hopping, a casual occurrence during football season. The girl who he had fallen asleep with was nowhere to be found, and his roommate was still fast asleep. But being a Monday, he no classes today, but he had work.

Scavenging through his pile of gear and other specialized equipment, he found his blue collared wondermart t-shirt and his black work pants under a mess of sweatshirts, sweatpants, and singlets along with the occasional shoe. It was more of a challenge to find his badge, having to sweep nearby desks and floorspace.

After assembling his outfit, brushing his teeth, and neatening his hair, he snagged up his keys to the black camri parked out front, and made his frequent commute to Plainview. He always parked in the front of the store so that he could walk through the staff room and say hi to everyone. All went well until he walked up on his overenthusiastic manager, Carl.

Oh, son of a—, he started to think to himself before he was cut off by a joyful quip.

[Untecna]

WonderMart #1309 Parking Lot, 6:00 AM
Kirk has just arrived at work, right on time, as usual for him. He locks his truck, a Ford, and begins walking inside. He finds some change on the ground and picks it up, hoping no one can see him. Its doubtful anyone would though.

He would get inside, and would head straight for the service desk while the intercom announcement was being made. "Great morning, isn't it?" he would ask, trying to make small talk while everyone else was arriving. "So whats this all about, boss? Something new, new worker, something like that?" He seemed curious enough about this meeting. Not as if this hadn't happened before, but it was still as puzzling every time.

[Cetacea]

Tiny Matavai had woken early, lying in his bed in the pre-morning darkness, missing the way his wife would snuggle up against him. It had been more than a year but he could still feel her golden hair like silk upon his shoulder, her warm breath on his chest and her body pressed against him. He could still smell her scent lingering on his pillow, mingling now with the tears that ran down from his eyes.

"don't be angry with me" he said with a soft voice that belied is 6' 4 inches and 245 pounds "I miss you, but I'm not going to mope around today, not today I have a job to do - hallelujah!"

That was enough motivation to get him out of his bed, in the shower and out in his track suit on brisk morning walk to the Wondermart Store. On arrival he would finish his water bottle and then go and change into his uniform. Pressed Shirt, tie and trousers, torch, radio, baton, security pass, keys and cellphone. Then he would check the charge on the Segway battery, make sure his helmet was secure and that the cuffs, first aid kit and other incidental gear was in place and ready should it ever be needed.

By the time the General Managers voice rang out over the intercom, Tiny had already secured another water bottle and was making his way over to the flower stands, hoping to see Suzette and walk with her to the service desk meeting.

[WonderMart]

Service & Engagement
6:07 AM

Carl speed walked through the employee lounge, greeting employees as he made his way to the meeting. On the way, he stopped to say hello to Tiny, and signed out a ring of general merchandise keys for Kirk. Around the corner, he spotted that college kid, Alex, obviously avoiding eye contact with Carl while he himself swiftly made his way to the service desk.

"Alex Lindemann, what a nice surprise," he said in a friendly, somewhat acerbic manner. "Good news, you're off cash today, I have a project for you. The new visual merchandiser called in sick today, and we have a pallet full of holiday signage that needs to be out there practically yesterday, so you'll be helping me set it all up." he explained as he hastily grabbed a walkie from the charger. "Once we're done the meeting, head to the fixture room and we can get started. Thanks kid," he said as he exited the room after shooting Alex a quick and appreciative double thumbs-up.

Shortly thereafter, Carl gathered everyone at the service desk, setting his clipboard down. His tone was once again serious and determined.

"Alright people, I appreciate everyone's presence, I get that Monday mornings are always a tough sell. With that being said, we're headed into the busiest time of the year for us, so expect your schedules to reflect that, particularly if you're part time. Nevertheless, regional sent me an update this morning, and effective immediately any and all overtime must be approved by management. If you're looking for more hours, speak to one of us personally, but otherwise please stick to your scheduled clock-out times. The store looks good, and our process is solid, so keep doing what you're doing. If you see a seasonal who could be doing something better, teach them how, if you spot a zone that needs work, don't ask just make it happen, and as always, if you need anything from me, just track me down and we can talk. Any questions? Good. I'll see you all out there, let's all work safely and attack those trucks!"

[Untecna]

Service Desk, 6:10 AM

"Right, it's already the holiday season. Well, this should be a better season than last year, maybe. I'll get to work in the electronics section since I'll bet we'll get a lot of customers over there in the next few weeks. Probably got something in the back as well from a shipment, so I'll see you guys around." Kirk walked away from the service desk and headed to the storage for products not on the shelves, and checks for anything new in that section. Once he's done, and he finds a fresh box of assorted video games, he heads out into the electronics section and gets to stocking them. He manages to get a few in and then sees that the case is full, so he moves to the next. A few cases later, the box is near empty, but there are still some inside. He moves it back to storage and sets up some decorations and seasonal areas in the section.

[Caliland]

Bobby Flanders

Bobby woke up feeling good after a long rest. He did his morning push-ups, took a shower, ate breakfast, brushed his teeth, and put on his security officer uniform. After hopping in his black SUV, and getting to work, he stopped to notice someone picking up some loose change. "Very suspicious" said Bobby to himself. Walking through the store, he realized he was late, and rushed into the staff meeting, carrying under his arm a maila folder labeled "STORE SECURITY UPGRADE PLAN" which he planned to pitch to Carl.

[Meretica]

Karen strode into the store, beehive-hairstyle barely fitting under the doors as they slid open and then closed. She marched straight to a buggy and smiled. She wore a red #SaveAmerica shirt with a photo of a certain orange president on the back. She narrowed her eyes at some of the other patrons suspiciously for a moment before straightening her hair. Walking over to the buggies, she glared at an overwhelmed mother trying to calm down her crying baby.

Such a horrible mother, and such a bratty child. Karen thought. I’ll have to ask to speak to the manager to get this fixed if she doesn’t shut him up.

[Phoenxia]

Service & Engagement
6:07 AM

Carl speed walked through the employee lounge, greeting employees as he made his way to the meeting. On the way, he stopped to say hello to Tiny, and signed out a ring of general merchandise keys for Kirk. Around the corner, he spotted that college kid, Alex, obviously avoiding eye contact with Carl while he himself swiftly made his way to the service desk.

"Alex Lindemann, what a nice surprise," he said in a friendly, somewhat acerbic manner. "Good news, you're off cash today, I have a project for you. The new visual merchandiser called in sick today, and we have a pallet full of holiday signage that needs to be out there practically yesterday, so you'll be helping me set it all up." he explained as he hastily grabbed a walkie from the charger. "Once we're done the meeting, head to the fixture room and we can get started. Thanks kid," he said as he exited the room after shooting Alex a quick and appreciative double thumbs-up.

Alex made his way back to the stocking room, continually cursing himself. It did make for a nice little time away from the register though. Carl always did something like this when he was preparing for Claudia to visit, which is something that he didn’t really like to think about. And after all this, he still had practice and lifting.

“God I hope that this isn’t heavy lifting, Carl. I’ve still got conditioning tonight,” Alex groaned, meeting up with his manager in the back.

[WonderMart]

Alex made his way back to the stocking room, continually cursing himself. It did make for a nice little time away from the register though. Carl always did something like this when he was preparing for Claudia to visit, which is something that he didn’t really like to think about. And after all this, he still had practice and lifting.

“God I hope that this isn’t heavy lifting, Carl. I’ve still got conditioning tonight,” Alex groaned, meeting up with his manager in the back.

Fixture Room
6:21 AM

"Nothing the two of us can't handle. From what I can tell, it's mostly end cap signage anyways," Carl explained as he transferred a box of cardboard holiday signage onto a blue metal U-Boat, followed by several others. "I'll do the lifting, you just focus on positioning the signs and moving the cart. If we need to grab the WAVe, I'll run to the back," he mentioned while sifting through the merchandise presentation binder. "So conditioning?" (Laughs) "You sure as hell have my sympathy on that one. Never been much of a wrestler, but I'm no stranger to anaerobic exercise."

With that, carl helped Alex push the first cart of signage out the door, and onto the salesfloor.

Seasonal
9:15 AM

Carl looked at the long row of gondolas that spanned the east half of the store, decadently emblazoned with holiday themes and price points.

"Wow, this is really starting to come together," Carl said with a smile, before noticing a randomly placed canvas tent that was haphazardly mixed in with a shelf full of candy. "Of course the zoning could use some work, but one bite at a time right? In fact, why don't you take your lunch now, Alex. I should be fine to finish what's left of hardlines on my own," he explained, motioning to the front half of the store. As he did this, however, he began to hear footsteps.

Not just any footsteps, but the distinct sound of $700 Louboutin pumps as they resonated against the cold, hard vinyl flooring. It had to be Claudia. Who else could it be? She was the only woman in the World whose footsteps could inspire legitimate dread from Carl.

"Oh, f*ck me, why today..." Carl whispered, embarrassed once he remembered that Alex was right next to him and probably heard his clumsy slip of the tongue.

The footsteps were approaching, the direction of their sound unclear. Suddenly, the source appeared from behind a display. Alas, it was just an old pensioner in kitty heels pushing a shopping cart. Crisis averted. He breathed a sigh of relief, only to turn back around to the sight of:

Claudia Olander. Standing quietly, iPhone in hand and conveniently looking straight at Carl as she tapped her foot. How she got there without either of them noticing, he had no clue. He stepped back.

"Ah, Carl. I thought I smelled cheap aftershave and sadness," she said acerbically, not even looking up from her phone.

"I didn't realize you liked to smell your employees... Is there something you needed, Claudia? I'm guessing it must be serious considering you're here at 9 AM on a Monday."

"My stylist had to cancel my hair appointment. Some bullshit about her kid. So anyways, I figured I'd swing by and see for myself what you're screwing up this time. So let's walk. Your office." she explained, walking away before Carl could respond.

[Phoenxia]

Claudia Olander. Standing quietly, iPhone in hand and conveniently looking straight at Carl as she tapped her foot. How she got there without either of them noticing, he had no clue. He stepped back.

"Ah, Carl. I thought I smelled cheap aftershave and sadness," she said acerbically, not even looking up from her phone.

"I didn't realize you liked to smell your employees... Is there something you needed, Claudia? I'm guessing it must be serious considering you're here at 9 AM on a Monday."

"My stylist had to cancel my hair appointment. Some bullshit about her kid. So anyways, I figured I'd swing by and see for myself what you're screwing up this time. So let's walk. Your office." she explained, walking away before Carl could respond.

Alex looked behind himself, his eyes going unintentionally wide at the sight of the regional manager, "Oh hi, Claudia. I was actually just about to go out for my lunch." He looked between her and Carl, "Is there anything you guys want?" He knew it, he sensed it, he had the prophetic vision that she was going to be here today. He really hoped they didn't ask for something though, he was coming out of this weekend with a hole in his wallet.

[WonderMart]

Post written in collaboration with Phoenxia

Seasonal - 9:25 AM

Claudia turned back, lifting her fancy sunglasses above her head to get a better look at Alex momentarily, before directing a taunting smile in his direction. She walked up to him, glancing at his name tag while throwing her hand on hip, like a scornful prison warden.

“Alex, is it? Let's table that for now, in fact, go find an open register, or a customer who needs their ass kissed, or just, you know, do your job. Prove to me that you can work faster than the other stoned-out losers around this dump,” she said, placing her sunglasses back on her head as she walked towards the offices before Alex could reply. Carl was not amused with her attitude.

“Yeah. You know what? I’ll just go to my register. And uh—Carl, wanna meet me over at Panera come lunch time?” Alex asked hastily as Carl scurried away. A manager in a bad mood, especially Claudia in a bad mood, was not something he wanted to fool with further.

“Oh, oh, yes, right, lunch. I’ll be there.” he said reassuringly, but quickly as he shuffled away after his boss. He walked towards the offices, unlocking his door to find Claudia sitting at his desk, where she had already made herself at home, tablet in hand.

Carl's Office - 9:30 AM

After shutting the door, Carl crossed his arms while looking disapprovingly at his boss.

“So are we going to keep playing this pathetic game of password or are you going to just come out and tell me why you’re here. It's Monday morning so either you're bored and looking to play games with me, or trying to punish me," he paused to lean himself on the desk in an aggressive yet professional manner. "Either way? You’re not Alex’s boss, I am, and I don’t care if you’re mad at me, but don’t take it out on one of the people that single handedly keeps this place running,” Carl explained sternly, not impressed with Claudia’s disruptive antics.

“Ohhh, what a nice little speech…” she said sarcastically. “When you’re done giving your friends a silk-handed reach around, why don’t you explain to me what the F*CK I’m looking at here!” she retorted with anger, shoving her iPad towards Carl, who looked at the screen.

With a quick glance, he knew what she was talking about. It was last week’s digital metrics, displaying the OPU and SFS numbers in an easy to read, graphical representation of the store’s various outbound orders listed against efficiency, customer satisfaction and other real-time parameters.

“Okay, I’m not sure what’s so alarming here, looks like last week’s fulfilment metrics, you wanna tell me what exactly I should be looking at here?” he asked, somewhat confusedly.

“How about your abysmal f*cking INF numbers? Are you seriously pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about?”

“Er, 4.2%, it’s a little higher than the past few months, but we just got our fresh group of seasonals, and you know as well as I do that it takes them some time to get used to the pick system. Besides, that’s still 50th percentile, and our uph numbers are still great across the board,” he responded defensively.

“That excuse might’ve worked for that self-medicated excuse of a regional manager over in Naperville, but Carl, come on, after eight consecutive months of sub-one percent INF numbers, this is pathetic. And not just fulfillment, WonderCards too. Honestly, do I have to spell everything out to you like a toddler? Get your goddamn house in order or I’ll do it myself! You think Chien Mon Koh over at the Carnegie branch is giving me excuses like this?”

“First of all, it’s a minor slump, but my trainers are good, and you should really be trusting my judgement. Secondly, Chien's sales don't even come close to mine," Carl said guardedly, perhaps with a boastful hint of pride. "Literally every other metric in this place is greener than the White House lawn, and you’re getting hung up on the damn INF percentage? Am I on mars?”

“No…” Claudia let out, with an exasperated sigh to boot. Rising from her chair, she paced towards the large one-way window, where she paused momentarily. She looked out at the salesfloor with peace and pity in her eyes as Carl watched eagerly. “Oh goddamn it, you’re on track," she paused. "On track to make store of the Year, 2022.”

Carl shot up in shock and confusion.

“Wait, seriously? Store of the Year? Is this some joke, or is this the real reason why you’re obsessing about the least consequential metric in the entire company?” he said, somewhat shocked, but relieved that he was now starting to see the motives behind her impromptu ‘visit’ to the store. He took a seat on the couch, his expression slowly starting to calm as his passing moment surprise subsided. “Wow, Store of the Year. Can you imagine?” he said with envy, before his inflection changed to something more serious…this was now an interrogation. “So er, how long have you known about this?!”

After a moment's reflection, Claudia turned towards Carl.

“A week, maybe, Rich told me after our quarterly Group Meeting during November. I didn’t want to tell you and throw off your groove, but these numbers, to be honest, kind of scared me. Do you honestly grasp the stakes of this? If you can manage to supermax sales, and keep the branch metrics in the 95th percentile, we’re good as gold,” she explained, looking directly at Carl, reluctantly showing her lack of authority with the situation, even if unintentional.

She took a seat on the couch next to Carl, allowing her violet pencil skirt to ride a bit above her knee. “This award…it’s very important to me, Carl,” she said revealingly. “It should be important to you too," she said almost encouragingly. "It’ll open doors for you in this company, doors that you never realized were there in the first place, and the same goes for me,” Claudia confessed as she placed her hand, cladded with bracelets, supportively on Carl’s thigh.

Carl launched out of the chair abruptly, his face red.

“Claudia wait, I should er mayb-” Carl started before Claudia stopped him.

“Carl, just listen. Rich will be retiring soon. If this goes well, I could be his replacement. You could be on track for the Regional spot when it opens!" Claudia admitted, Carl not knowing whether her claims should be trusted in the first place. "Carl, just think of what we could achieve together,” she suggested gently, looking at him straight in the eye.

Before he could answer, Claudia walked cautiously to the window, closing the blinds discreetly. “All I’m asking…all I’m asking is that you do better. I know you want this…so prove it to me…”

Outside from the checkout area, Alex glimpsed at the blinds on Carl’s office closing, ”Oh Jesus Christ,” he thought to himself, barely holding himself back from laughter as he bagged the groceries of a mother with two young children.

Panera Bread - 11:15 AM

Carl walked into the restaurant, a wide smile on his face as he sat himself in the booth. He looked oddly relaxed, at least compared to his usual look. His hair was a little looser as well, his track jacket undone and his lanyard noticeably absent, which was almost never the case.

Alex sighed as he sat down with his soup. Carl followed along, salad in hand.

“How was your weekend?” Alex asked.

Carl was quiet for a moment, his mind preoccupied before realizing that Alex asked him a question.

“Wha- weekend? Oh right, was er, quiet. I worked a double until Colleen forced me to go home so I wouldn't have to use the chemical shower in the warehouse. Decided to go for a run in Barber Park, instead of around the city dump. More seagulls, less robins. You?” he asked, taking a bite of his tofu salad.

“I went to a dorm Christmas party and I started a cut to 141, I’m gonna wrestle off on Wednesday to see if I can get up to second lineup, so I guess I did a decent bit of running too,” He did a lazy monotone chuckle as he took a spoonful of the chicken noodle in front of him.

“Hey, that’s great Alex. Sounds like you’re making all the right moves, at least if you’re interested in second lineup. I never really did wrestling personally, but as a track and field guy I know what good preparation looks like,” he explained. “I actually still have to figure out what I’m doing for the store Christmas party. Colleen usually covers it, but I feel like I should contribute something.”

“Yeah, I ran track in high school too. My 4x400 team ran all state senior year. Anyways though, I want to try and make starter, but at a D1 school like this, everyone has credentials upon credentials, placing at states every year, placing at junior nationals every year. It’s just tough.” He breathed, “I doubt you’re that interested in the semantics of all this, so what was Claudia here for this morning? It seemed like she was in a bad mood.”

“Oh Claudia? Yeah, well, you aren’t exactly wrong. She has a lot on her plate right now, so I think coming to the store was a creepy little attempt at, er, stress relief, I guess you could say,” he explained, starting to blush a bit. “And, well, she wanted me to step it up on our metrics, since we’re apparently on track to win,” he paused, clearing his throat as he realized was probably saying too much. “Win some, er, really great recognition from corporate…” he followed with quickly, trying to play it cool. “Long story short, you’re going to start seeing a lot more of her around the store, so get used to it.”

Alex dipped his baguette in the soup casually, looking straight at Carl with satisfied doubt in his eyes.

"What?" Carl asked Alex confusedly.

“You’re screwing her, aren’t you..."

[Untecna]

Near Carl's Office | 11:30 AM

Kirk rested near the door, trying to figure out how he could just get in. He'd left his lockpicks at home, and earlier he'd caught some glimpses of Carl and Claudia talking as he walked by, getting to different sections and whatnot. Seemed to him something might be up if Claudia was there, and seeing as Carl wasn't there, it wouldn't hurt to take a peek inside, but he had no way in. Luckily, he had no idea of the blinds closing, or what happened behind those blinds, something Alex would likely bring up if Kirk spoke with Alex, but that wouldn't even be Kirk's prime concern. He'd be more concerned with just why Claudia was there in the first place.

The time passed by, he decided to wait, maybe Carl would show up, maybe Claudia; maybe this was a waste of time and he could be helping customers. Soon enough, about 12:00 PM, he got himself up and went to a section nearby, trying to help out some customers and buy himself a bit of time, waiting for Carl to return. Alex might be just as valuable since they'd both left, but considering Kirk wouldn't know where they were, it might as well be a red herring as any.

[WonderMart]

Post written in collaboration with Phoenxia

Panera Parking Area - 5 Minutes Later

Carl shut the door to his Matador Red Lexus, pulling his seatbelt into the latch as Alex got in as well.

Carl: “No one. Not a soul. You cannot mention this to anyone. I’m serious, I made a horrible decision on the fly and I could be fired instantly for it. Please, Alex,” Carl explained, almost a little desperate.

Alex: Alex cut him off, “I really don’t care, I think it’s funny,” he laughed. “We have a rule against that sort of thing in the dorms, but let’s just say that doesn’t stop anyone. You’re the last person I would expect to be able to pull Claudia though, no offense,” he kept on laughing.

Carl: “Woah, what is that supposed to mean?”

Alex: “You just seem like a quiet guy. The only kind of guy I would expect to pull Claudia is a douche who perfectly matches her level of boisterousness.”

Carl: “Nice save. Frankly, I never really pictured us as a match either, but I guess this day is full of surprises.”

Alex: “Speaking of surprises, my girl has been talking about trying to get an internship at WM, she’s a business major.”

Carl: “Why the heck didn’t you mention this to me last week? Corporate just finished hiring the last of their management interns on Monday. Even if I could point you in the right direction, I don’t even know if there are any positions left for Claudia to fill…”

Carl sighed as he pulled into his parking spot at the side of the building, before turning the engine off. In a sudden twist of intuition, Carl looked at Alex, as if he was concocting an idea.

Carl: “Wait, wait, wait, maybe there IS still an opening… I don’t really have any details, but I think Claudia mentioned that one of her recent interviewees fell through. Might not be a full blown internship, but maybe it’s worth talking to Claudia about?”

Alex: “You’ve met Liv, right? I swear to god, sometimes she’s a carbon copy of Claudia,” he chuckled.

Carl: “Sure, of course. Last year’s Christmas party. Said I dress like a depressed slavic speed dealer. Nice girl.”

Alex: “You know what she said when she found out what school I went to? She called me a hick, and then she made out with me.”

Carl snorted a quick laugh as he fixed his hair in the rearview mirror.

Carl: “Oh hell, you’re right, maybe they would get along. Now look, I can’t promise you anything, but talk to Claudia. Tell her I sent you. You never know, she might be desperate enough to get your girlfriend an interview.”

Carl exited the vehicle, energetically jogging the length of the paved sidewalk towards the entrance.

Carl: “Now, pick up the pace Lindemann. Don’t want to be late for work.” he said jokingly as he continued towards the store.

Carl’s Office - 1:15 PM

Alex: “Hey Claudia? I have something to ask you. Carl sent me.”

Claudia was seated at Carl’s desk, engaged in a tedious-looking conversation presumably with someone from corporate. She looked relieved to be given an excuse to hang up.

Claudia: “No, you listen to me…I wasted MY Saturday at that pathetic ‘Retail Innovation Expo’ in Chicago, practically wine-ing and dine-ing five different fluorescent lighting suppliers to death. I spent two nights schmoozing those asinine morons at the Airport Ramada. I put it on MY credit card. You approved this. If I don’t see a check on my desk in 24 hours, I’m going to come down there and KICK SOMEONE’S ASS…”

Claudia put her index finger up reassuringly, indicating for Alex to give her a moment to wrap her conversation up. She paused for a moment, seemingly satisfied with the caller’s response.

Claudia: “Thank’s Georgette. Oh and sorry to hear about your herpes.”

Claudia hung up rather forcefully, and with an audible sigh.

Claudia: “Jesus f-cking Christ…” she scoffed, rolling her eyes defeatedly. “Anyways, was there something you wanted or did you just come to autofellatiate yourself out of sheer boredom?”

Alex: “My girlfriend is wondering about an internship, she wanted me to ask about any spots. I think you’d get along.”

Claudia tapped her acrylic nails along the desk patiently. Reaching around, she opened the overhead file cabinet, pulling out a mustard-colored file folder, and tossing it on the desk.

Claudia: “Oh god. Did Carl not already explain we’re full up for the management internship program?”

Alex: “He did, but he said you might have an opening. And knowing Olivia, she’s ten times more ruthless than any other limp-wristed hollowheads you might get.”

Claudia looked up, her eyes almost apologetic, yet with a glimmer of managerial apathy. She sighed, placing her hands atop each other on the desk's surface.

Claudia: “Look, Alex. It’s Alex right? The truth is, our internship spots are full right now. I’m not lying about that. I’m hiring, yes, but only for a temporary administrative assistant while I’m here for the next few months. The work is mostly answering phones, sending emails and keeping track of the calendar, and if your better half is truly as remarkable as you say, she’d probably be better off taking her chances with an actual internship, that is, one where she’s not a glorified answering machine with a rolodex.”

Alex: “Let me call her. She just wants to be closer to me.”

Claudia, defeated, and with nothing to lose, caved in to Alex’s plea.

Claudia: “Oh fine, but if she’s serious, tell her to drop by for an actual interview tomorrow morning at nine,” she explained, gripping her temples as she downed two aspirin tablets.

It took little more than a minute for him to go out, give her the news, and report back, because Olivia was ecstatic, any connections she could make, she would take.

Alex: “She said she’ll take it, she’s really excited.”

Claudia: “Good, now get the f-ck out of my office so I can check my spam folder in peace, and I’ll see her at nine.”