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[DRAFT] Take 'Em Out

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

[DRAFT] Take 'Em Out

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sun Jul 18, 2021 2:56 am

Aware we have an issue about planned obsolescence and two issues about batteries, but drafted this anyway. May not even submit it, but thought I''d share it.

TITLE:
Take 'Em Out

VALIDITY:
capitalism, has internet

DESCRIPTION:
A weird day in the office today, with no less than five members of your senior cabinet showing off their brand new smartphones.An impromptu survey reveals that all of them are replacing broken phones, and all of them owned their previous phones for less than a year and a half before the batteries failed.

OPTION 1
"These days, there's a calculated program of blatant planned obsolescence in the cellphone industry," moans your party-pooping Secretary of State, who is well known to have used an old fashioned Maxia 3310 for the last quarter century. "New fangled phones have screens that are the first point of impact when you drop them, software updates that break older iterations, and tech giants bullying small repair businesses into taking down any documentation for anything but their latest manuals. But you know where we should start? Batteries! Force companies to make them replaceable rather than glued in, and you quadruple phone lifespan, which is good for the consumer, good for the environment, good for..."
OUTCOME:
tech companies try to convince us that this year's must-have battery is slightly better than last year's must-have battery

OPTION 2
"Good for being atrociously boring," finishes your tragically hip Junior Minister of the Interior, using his 'Make People Look Silly' AR App to turn the Secretary of State into a human-tortoise hybrid, to the amusement of all. "My new phone is GOAT, Gucci, snatched. Look, @@LEADER@@, no-one is asking you to be cool, but us younger ministers will fit you out with the newest and best phone, and you can like so-casually answer a call next time you're out for a walk, and OHMIGOD headline story '@@LEADER@@ is On Fleek'. And hey, good for the high-tech economy, good for progress, good for...
OUTCOME:
@@LEADER@@ is lit / yeet / reem / sploog / raiiii and a whole bunch of other made up noises

OPTION 3
"Good for nothing layabout!" interjects Major Oak A Boomer, a retired army man believes life wasted on the young. "Removable batteries aren't enough, we need things made to last! Look at my trusty AK-187 rifle here: thirty years with good maintenance, and it's as good as the day I looted... uh... as the day I bought it. Telephones should have a twenty year warranty on them, to be repaired at the replaced at the manufacturer's cost if they go wrong."
OUTCOME:
carphones the size of bricks are inexplicably back in fashion
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Sacara
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Founded: May 13, 2014
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Sacara » Tue Jul 20, 2021 2:43 pm

Is there an existing issue regarding right-to-repair? If not, there should be one fully dedicated to it.
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I tend to hang out in Got Issues? a lot.
Issues That I've Authored (14)

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 22681
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jul 26, 2021 4:47 am

Sacara wrote:Is there an existing issue regarding right-to-repair? If not, there should be one fully dedicated to it.


Not that I could find, but 1068 was the issue about planned obsolescence. Do you think that one overlaps with this too strongly?
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Sacara
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Posts: 1841
Founded: May 13, 2014
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Sacara » Mon Jul 26, 2021 7:59 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Not that I could find, but 1068 was the issue about planned obsolescence. Do you think that one overlaps with this too strongly?
One that you edited, no less.:p

Right now, the description makes me think this draft is about planned obsolescence, then option one talks about making batteries replaceable, option two is @@LEADER@@ getting a new, "hip", phone, and option three is making them have warranties.

The premises are rather similar (electronics breaking down rather quickly) and both that issue and this draft have an option about forcing companies to have long warranties. I would say yes, but there is a bit here that is different that you could expand upon. I think you need either make this into a right-to-repair draft or one about @@LEADER@@ needing to be more hip to get the youth vote. Both would be solid ideas, imo.
The Spacefaring Federation of Sacara,
I tend to hang out in Got Issues? a lot.
Issues That I've Authored (14)

"The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you" - Neil deGrasse Tyson


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